Michael Kindt's Blog, page 85
November 23, 2015
The other day my dog became suddenly incontinent.
He peed all over the house, including on the bed while he slept.
Then it stopped and he was continent again.
What the hell?
If "big oil" and greedy speculators were the reason for oil and thus gas prices being so high over a year ago,
per that nitwit Bernie Sanders, what’s the reason they are in the bargain basement now? Has “big oil” become “alturistic oil”? Have the greedy speculators lost their greed?
Bernie wants to give me everything for free. He’s a giver, Bernie is. I would like him to start off by giving me a break.
His catchphrase, Feel The Burn
®, is taking on a whole new meaning the more I listen to him.
November 22, 2015
So my little sister, who’s, like, in her 40s, is going in for surgery.
It’s minor, outpatient stuff, but I do love that woman, even though she was a colossal bitch when we were growing up. Well, not always. A lot, though.
We aren’t very often in touch. We’re just not really a chatty, huggy family, especially since Mom died.
We are also really different people. For example, she watches football, whereas I don’t even have a tv. She’s normal, with a teenaged son and a husband and a minivan, and I am a complete fucking weirdo with a Ford F150.
She called me up and specifically requested my presence at her medical procedure, and I’ll certainly be there. I also resolve to talk to her more. Tell her jokes. Send her cellphone pics of the fruits and vegetables that pay my bills.
I remember her first boyfriend, a guy named Les. I met him before Mom, at a kegger in the woods. She was nervous about showing him to Mom cuz he was covered in tats and had hair down to his ass. When Mom finally did meet him, he was sitting at our kitchen table, cleaning a gun.
Talk about first impressions.
She drug me aside, “What do you know about this guy Les?”
“Nothing much,” I told her. “Just that he’s done time in California.”
Les and her didn’t last. They broke up after a few months and then, like, two years later, he got run over by a train.
I remember hearing about it: “Les got run over by a train. No one really knows what happened except that he was drunk.”
Because of my little sister, I know someone who got run over by a train. How many people can say that?
Thank you, Brandi, for always–well, kind of–being there for me. Expect pictures of celery, romaine lettuce, and honeycrisp apples.
Infotainment at its most infotaining!
He’s a right wing buttoned down Baptist, she’s a fun and funky bisexual, all tatted out. Together they are America’s newest talk show sensation. Point Counter Point, Fridays at 8 pm, only on MSNBC.
Join the round-table this week with guests French president François Hollande and Jack Black. Can the world be saved?
Should it?
MSNBC–smell the desperation!
"Conservative, noun: A statesman who is enamored with existing evils, as distinguished from the..."
- Ambrose Bierce
November 20, 2015
This diner just served me the hardest roll since Hamlet.
I may have chipped a tooth.
Rubbery eggs…gummy hashbrowns…
I almost want to open a Yelp account.
Gonna a tip the waiter well, though, because he has been nothing but sweet. Poor guy almost seems embarrassed to work here.
Not ever coming back, though.
November 19, 2015
Velvet Underground [GOD] - Sister RayOver & Out
Velvet Underground [GOD] - Sister Ray
Over & Out
Obama has made a country which has twice elected a black man as its leader think it’s a racist hellhole.
He has reduced healthcare expenses by nothing at all.
He has coddled and ass-kissed terrorists.
He has fought to defend the NSA citizen spying program.
He is black, but is essentially the anti-Martin Luther King.
Black people CAN’T do whatever they want (never mind that he became president and his wife was one of the top lawyers in the country).
You have a black president trying to convince black people that they are victims, and, in general, CAN’T.
I voted for him twice, but he is one of the worst presidents this country has ever seen.
Nixon ain’t got nothin’ on him!
WOW, what a waste. As the first black president he really had an opportunity and pulpit..
I still don't know why, but I always blast Minor Threat when I'm writing.
It’s become rote at this point, ten years down the road.
I still do it, though. Blasting Minor Threat is my “safe space”.
Haha.
Fuck you. Like a woman who seeks out victimization or a black dude angry that Stephen Colbert is white, I need help.
Nah, I don’t need any help. I’m white. I got white priviledge coming out the ass.
I’ll take it.
I hope one day you oppressed ladies get to walk around topless (really!), and Stephen Colbert turns fucking black.
In the meantime, can you privileged, whiny little bitches look at your phones somewhere else?
This is America!
