Michael Kindt's Blog, page 81
December 22, 2015
"A useful thing about criminals is that the vast majority of them are not bright."
- Captain James Johns of the Rapid City police department, on the the arrest of the knuckle-dragging, pit-sniffing dipshit who robbed our local Goodwill store
December 18, 2015
early-onset-of-night:
Isn’t “holiday tree” about the stupidest...
Isn’t “holiday tree” about the stupidest thing ever? I mean, is there a “holiday menorah”?
It’s like the weakest, most pointless PC liberal shit ever. There are no trees in any other holidays, but yet we must depersonalize and genericize the Christmas tree, and for what?
No one is offended by a Christmas tree. No one. If they say they are offended by it, they’re lying. They’re just bored and are looking for a reason to bitch, a reason to give them something to do as time winds down and they thankfully, blessedly die.
There are no “Holiday dreidels”.
Jesus Christ.
Look, I can see see wishing people “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas”, but a Holiday Tree isn’t even a fucking thing.
I would also add that the Christmas tree isn’t even ultimately Christian. It’s origins are actually pagan. It was stolen and adopted by Christians (plagiarism is the sincerest form of flattery) and is now a symbol of CHRISTMAS. There is no such thing as a “holiday tree”, just as there is no such thing as a “holiday menorah”.
December 15, 2015
Greasing the Shaft | Michael Kindt
What most people don’t know about oil is that since about 2006, there
has been a tectonic, global shift in the market. Previously, OPEC and
its most important member, Saudi Arabia, were top dogs. They set prices,
production levels. Everybody ate from their hands.
Round about 2007 or so American ingenuity kicked in. You see, if you
keep oil prices high enough, Americans will figure out how to profit
from them. Oh, look, and we did. Fracking was invented, which basically
squeezes out the little amount of oil that’s under every ground. North
Dakota, America’s Siberia (and I say that from experience), became a
boom state. Over the course of about a decade, the United States went
from a secondary afterthought in the global oil market to one of the top
producers, rivaling Saudi Arabia itself.
Traditionally, when oil prices get low, Saudi Arabia props them up by
cutting back on production. Not anymore. American oil has made them
blink. When a giant nation like the U.S. suddenly becomes energy
independent, it makes the energy providers blink.
Blink. Blink.
Saudi Arabia decided, and OPEC with it (reluctantly), to pump oil
full blast, the plan being to drive the price of oil into the basement.
American producers, they hoped, would then be driven out of business.
This "blizzard" leaves something to be desired.
They called off school in advance. The stores looked like Armageddon had hit, and we got a measly inch of snow. I don’t even feel compelled to go out in it. “Snowy day” does not mean “blizzard”.
December 14, 2015
A girl just exposed her breasts to me, but really she shouldn’t have bothered.
It’s 2016. I can dial up a pitbull fucking a ballerina in the ass in like 1 second and you’re coming at me with ordinary breasts?
They’re selling iced shots of Jager for half price in honor of the coming blizzard.
Me, I hate Jager. It tastes like cough syrup. I understand, though, that it is the communion wine of trailer trash white people…and thems my people!
Still, I ain’t drinkin it fer shit.
Fucking tastes like cough syrup.
Yuck.
Remember, like, two years ago it snowed an inch in southern Alabama, and, like, 250,000 people died in auto accidents?
Entire counties were depopulated. Remember? And all that empty land was seized by the government and given over to Middle Eastern immigrants and refugees? And now, like, entire sections of southern Alabama are controlled by ISIS?
Also we didn’t land on the moon and attacked the World Trade Center ourselves.
At what point do I stop listening to this fool and just start punching him in the mouth?
“Material,” I chant to myself. “Material.”
