Michael Kindt's Blog, page 36

“From that fateful day when stinking bits of slime first...

“From that fateful day when stinking bits of slime first crawled from the sea and shouted to the cold stars ‘I AM MAN!’ our greatest dread has always been the knowledge of our own mortality. But tonight we shall hurl the gauntlet of science into the frightful face of death itself. Tonight we shall ascend into the heavens. We shall mock the earthquake, we shall command the thunders, and penetrate into the very womb of impervious nature herself.”

-Dr. Frederick von Frahnkensteen

RIP Gene Wilder :(

LOL, but who’s Jim Cantore? And BRONCOS, not Packers. WTF?

LOL, but who’s Jim Cantore? And BRONCOS, not Packers. WTF?

U. of C. tells incoming freshmen it does not support 'trigger warnings' or 'safe spaces'

U. of C. tells incoming freshmen it does not support 'trigger warnings' or 'safe spaces':

Beautiful idea. Delicate Millennial Snowflakes (DMS) may want to look elsewhere for coddling and specialness.

"I have more pictures of my kids than my father ever looked at me."

“I have more pictures of my kids than my father ever looked at me.”

- Jim Gaffigan

My Little Paper Girl

She comes every morning about 5 AM, driven by her mother, who sits in the car smoking a cigarette. She is about 9 or 10. Blonde. Thin. She runs everywhere.

Often I am up, being a morning person. Out in the yard with the dogs.

“Thank you!” I say as she tosses my paper into my yard.

“You’re welcome!” she says as she heads down the street at a hundred miles an hour.

This little girl, I have decided, is the future of America. Hopefully, she gets to keep the majority of the money. Hopefully, the in-the-car-cigarette-smoking mom isn’t stealing everything. If she is, it’s just child slavery. It’s like the government and “taxes”…….You work, I’ll confiscate the money…..

Today, I stopped her. “Hey, come here!”

She was reluctant. Probably the only time I ever seen her walk. I understand, for I am a hairy old guy in a flannel robe.

“Here,” I said, and gave her a twenty.

You should’ve seen her smile.

:)

At the Hotel California, you can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave. South Dakota is just the opposite. You leave anytime you like, but you can never check out.

Nothing says America like a demolition derby. I embrace my white...

Nothing says America like a demolition derby. I embrace my white trash roots. Joan Jett blasting from the loudspeakers and a big ol’ chaw in my mouth and a tall boy Bud in my hand. It’s Midwestern paradise. Girls in short shorts, cowboy hats, nowhere to sit because the place is packed. Kids running everywhere. The smell of overheated engines and bratwurst and kettle korn.

Why in God’s name did I ever leave this place?

LOL.

LOL.

The Latest ReportFinally saw some Olympics. Headed down to the...

The Latest Report

Finally saw some Olympics. Headed down to the VFW tonight for a handful of screwdrivers and there it was on the tv: men’s volleyball, Brazil v. Argentina. I decided to root for Brazil cuz it’s the host country and, man, it’s gotta be a colossal pain in the ass putting on an Olympics. Plus, I think their flag is cool-lookin’.

I do like the sport of bolleyvoll, especially that kind on the beach with those giant women in bikinis. Damn, girl, talk about your Amazon!

Me and my buddies used to play beer bobbylol, where you had to have an open beer in your hand the whole time and NO SPILLING! Yep, we were quite the athletes, let me tell you.

Lately, I have almost wanted to get tv turned back on in my life. A while back, I wrote a post asking for tv show suggestions (you can get anything off the net), and the only one that panned out was Shark Tank. What a great show that is. I have a man-crush on Mr. Wonderful. But whatever. I’m never going to pay for tv again. I’ve been tv free (and by free I mean in a monetary sense) since 2007 and I’m never paying for it again. Besides, it’s already paid for. What do you think all those commercials are doing? LOL, but when you pirate it off the net, those commercials are gone.

*evil grin*

Anywho, Brazil defeated Argentina, so YAY! Next they face Russia, a hotbed of volleyball activity. Street gangs in the slums of Moscow and St. Petersburg are all about volleyball. The U.S. faces Italy, which we should easily defeat because those guys will be all full and lethargic from eating pasta.

Wouldn’t it be cool if the U.S. and Brazil faced off in the gold medal round?

Gotta tell ya, I’m still gonna be rooting for Brazil. Have you seen their flag? How cool is that?

Success is the size of the hole you leave when you die.