Rob Smyth's Blog, page 193
February 7, 2013
Football Weekly Extra: Jack Wilshere and England tear strips off Brazilians
James Richardson has Barry Glendenning, Rafa Honigstein and big audio dynamite Rob Smyth in the pod for this distinctly international-flavoured edition of Football Weekly Extra.
We start by keeping our expectations in check after England beat Brazil 2-1, a game in which Jack Wilshere excelled and Neymar looked little more than two haircuts rolled into one.
Next, we round up the rest of the international friendlies – including wins for Wales, Scotland and Ireland – before tapping up our friend Jonathan Wilson, who has some words of wisdom about the Africa Cup of Nations semi-finals. (Sadly, most of what he had to say about the triumphs of Nigeria and Burkina Faso failed to overcome transcontinental telephony, but hey, that's the showbiz for you...)
Finally, we wrap up the rest of the week's news, such as Alex McLeish and Nottingham Forest parting ways, before looking forward ever-so-slightly to return of the Premier League this weekend with mouthwatering fixtures like Stoke v Reading and Norwich v Fulham. Yes.
Jimbo's European paper review will be up on Friday, and Michael Cox and Barney Ronay are due back in near-earth orbit on Monday. Until then, podders, here's Vanilla Ice's cover of Buffalo Soldier, Ralf Wiggum's heart breaking, and German singing sensation Heino.
James RichardsonBen GreenBarry GlendenningJonathan WilsonRaphael HonigsteinRob Smyth
February 6, 2013
Football transfer rumours: Andy Carroll to Liverpool or Newcastle?
Today's fluff don't need a credit card to ride this train
You wait your whole life to meet The One. Then you realise he's only on loan; that The One will be Doing One in the summer. That's the way of things for Sam Allardyce, whose grunting muse Andy Carroll is likely to head back to Liverpool or Newcastle at the end of the season. Allardyce, according to Wednesday's rags, will console himself by paying £12m for the prolific Vitesse Arnhem forward Wilfried Bony, and in doing so increase the top flight's Wilf quotient to its highest level since the 1950s.
Real Madrid want Edinson Cavani. If they get him, Manchester City will offer £38m for Karim Benzema faster than you can say: "Financial Fair Play? Arf! Let's see how that goes down in a court of law."
David Moyes wants to lure former Everton centre-back Joleon Lescott into a deceptively sensual embrace by signing him from Manchester City.
Asmir Begovic, one of the world's foremost talents in the ancient art of reading between lines, reckons the signing of Jack Butland means he may just be doing one from Stoke in the summer. Dame Fortune has bought him a one-way ticket to Manchester.
Robert Lewandowski will join Bayern Munich in the summer; Borussia Dortmund's misery at losing their star striker will be compounded by the inclusion of Mario Gomez in a part-exchange deal.
Diego Simeone and Arsène Wenger will stage a televised sumo wrestle to decide whether David Villa plays for Atlético Madrid or Arsenal next season.
Wolves will go back to Blackpool for Alex Baptiste in the summer, having had a January bid rejected. You couldn't possibly care less, could you?
Last and least: Neymar to Chelzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Andy CarrollWest Ham UnitedLiverpoolNewcastle UnitedRob Smythguardian.co.uk © 2013 Guardian News and Media Limited or its affiliated companies. All rights reserved. | Use of this content is subject to our Terms & Conditions | More Feeds
February 5, 2013
Goalscorers who form the name of their team | The Knowledge
Plus: the largest away following; the Premier League's comeback kings; and the bizarre Zaire v Iceland book. Send your questions and answers to knowledge@guardian.co.uk and follow us on Twitter
"Last weekend, Hartlepool's goals were scored by Peter Hartley and James Poole," says Lucy Clark. "Are there any other teams whose scorers could form the name of the team?"
The lack of a "United"-named goalscorer aside, these sorts of combos are sadly rather elusive. Dundee United had Tommy Dunne but alas, no Amos Dee; in 1898 Aston Villa had only a lone Charlie Aston; and in the 1960s Scunthorpe had Arthur Thorpe on the wing, but there aren't many Scuns to the dozen.
If we're allowed to cheat a little bit, Arthur and Fred Blackburn both played for Blackburn Rovers, with Arthur scoring on four occasions. Bradford City defender Lew Bradford scored once in his 68 post-war appearances, and Dave Barnett scored three for Barnet during the early 90s. We're not sure if Tommy Lees of Leeds United counts, or the former Wolves defender John de Wolf. Or indeed Graham Stokoe of, you guessed it, Stoke City. We have discovered a West-Bromage pairing for West Bromwich Albion, but unfortunately Colin West arrived about 60 years too late to play with Enos Bromage.
As far as we can find (and you know how to fix it if we're wrong), only one team might potentially have had goalscorers echoing the club name. Reg Chester signed for Manchester United in 1935, missing Tom Manns by a season, but both Herbet Mann and Frank Mann played for United while Arthur Chesters was on the books, between 1929 and 1933. Which means that technically, a report might have shown Manchester United 2 (Mann, Chesters) – but since Chesters was the reserve goalkeeper, it was never very likely.
BIGGEST AWAY FOLLOWING"I was at Queens Park v Rangers in December when the attendance was 30,117," says Karl Johnston. "The home website said they had sold 2,400 tickets which suggests that at least 27,717 were away fans (not including away fans in the home section). I'm not sure there will always be official stats on away fans, but is there any way of knowing the largest ever away support in the UK and globally (not including cup finals and semi-finals at neutral venues)?"
As Karl says, there are no official statistics in most cases so we have to rely on anecdotal evidence. There are a number of stories of teams attempting to avoid relegation bringing huge away support. Sunderland (an estimated 13,000) and Southampton (14,000) against Wimbledon at Selhurst Park in 1996-97 and 1998-99 are two of the more famous examples; the latter led to the portmanteau "Dellhurst Park". The same is true of sides going for the title or promotion. Aston Villa apparently brought at least 20,000 to Highbury on the day they clinched the 1980-81 title, while Manchester City had around 25,000 at St James' Park when they beat Newcastle to win the league in 1967-68. Bolton were responsible for at least three-quarters of the 27,835 attendance at Ewood Park when they sealed promotion in 1977-78. "I couldn't stop crying when the final whistle went," wept their centre-half Sam Allardyce.
Other examples include Burton Albion, who brought 11,000 misery-hunters to Old Trafford in 2006; Ghana, who had around 21,000 fans against England at Wembley two years ago; and Dynamo Dresden reportedly took around 27,000 to the Allianz Arena to face 1860 Munich in 2005-06. None of those can match the hard core of Trabzonspor, however: they had around 60,000 fans for the match away to Istanbul Buyuksehir Belediyespor in 2010-11. It made for quite the scene, as you can see here.
Any more for any more? If so, you know what to do
THE PREMIER LEAGUE'S COMEBACK KINGS"Manchester United's 2-1 victory over Southampton last week was their ninth league win this season after going behind, giving them 27 points from losing positions," says Jennifer Peters. "Is this a record?" United have also won three games in the Champions League this season after going behind, making a total of 12 wins in all competitions. However, the 27 points they have accrued in the league is not a record. Our friends at Opta tell us that Bobby Robson's swashbuckling Newcastle side picked up 34 points after going behind in 2001-02. In that season they had 10 comeback victories – including three in a memorable week just before Christmas, when they beat Blackburn at home and then overcame their fellow title challengers Arsenal and Leeds at Highbury and Elland Road. The list also included a 4-1 win away to Middlesborough and a 6-2 shellacking of Everton.
Manchester United need eight more points to break Newcastle's record. They lie joint second on the list, along with West Brom's 2010-11 side. They also picked up 27 points, most under the management of Roy Hodgson. Who knew Two Banks of Four had such hidden depths?
Manchester United's Treble side, who were renowned for their fightbacks, picked up only 18 points in the league after going behind. They did, however, manage one or two vaguely memorable comebacks in the Champions League and FA Cup.
Can you beat Newcastle's record of 34 comeback points? If so, email knowledge@guardian.co.uk
KNOWLEDGE ARCHIVE"When I was at school in the early 80s, I remember our teacher reading us a novel about a future World Cup (I think it was 1998) in which the finalists were Zaire and Iceland," recalls Colin Leckey back when there was a Labour government. "I seem to remember Iceland winning after nobbling Zaire's Pelé-like talisman, who played in bare feet. Have I completely imagined this, or does anyone else recall the book?"
Don't worry Colin, your mind isn't playing tricks on you. The Ice Warrior, from The Ice Warrior and Other Stories (published 1976) by Robin Chambers, tells how Zaire's star player is killed in a bizarre freezer-related accident. The all-conquering, efficient Iceland (a case of taking symbolism too literally) meet bare-footed and mercurial Zaire in the World Cup final – and the evil Iceland manager plots the downfall of Zaire's star player, Odiwule, who can, apparently, bend the ball 90 degrees. When Zaire are awarded a free-kick, Iceland's equivalent of Douglas Jardine swaps the ball with a special refrigerated one he had been keeping under the team bench (how he did this without anyone else seeing in unclear).
When the Zairean maestro strikes the ball his foot and leg shatter (it's those modern boots, you know) and he is killed instantly. The chilly northern cheats win the final. Fast forward 10 years and a vengeful ghost of the victim returns to haunt the Iceland manager, who has, rather unusually, become the county's prime minister.
For more classic Knowledge, click here .
CAN YOU HELP?"Next Saturday, with both teams playing for a place in the play-offs, Cambridge United play Kidderminster Harriers in a promotion six-pointer," notes Karl Handy. "Last September, with the teams both mired in the drop zone, they met in a relegation six-pointer. Has this happened before in the same season and are there any better examples?"
"Looking at this season's Capital One Cup, it strikes me as fairly odd (if not completely unique) that Bradford have disposed of three Premier League sides in Arsenal, Wigan and Villa," writes Shaun Tooze. "Has any bottom-tier side in football ever done similar (or better) against top tier sides in a major cup competition before?"
"Tottenham have now failed to make an FA Cup final appearance since 1991, during which time they have remained in the English top flight. Has any other team managed remain in the top division while going longer than 22 years without an appearance in the final of the main domestic cup competition?" muses Paul Fowler.
Send your questions and answers to knowledge@guardian.co.uk
HartlepoolRob SmythGeorgina Turnerguardian.co.uk © 2013 Guardian News and Media Limited or its affiliated companies. All rights reserved. | Use of this content is subject to our Terms & Conditions | More Feeds
January 30, 2013
Real Madrid v Barcelona – as it happened | Rob Smyth
A late equaliser from the outstanding Raphael Varane gave Real a deserved draw in a richly entertaining match
Rob SmythThe Fiver | When Arsenal v Liverpool was one of the biggest fixtures around | Rob Smyth
SENT TO ME FROM HEAVEN, $TEVIE MBE, YOU'RE MY WORLDThe Fiver would like things to be the way they were. We liked being able to see our own toes. We liked being able to run our fingers languorously through our voluminous mane as part of the most womanproof seduction technique around. We liked Beef Discos, manners and when Twitter hadn't split the world into humans and egozombies. We liked the phrase "as if!", Tracksuit Manager on the ZX Spectrum 128k and when people didn't wear pink onesies. And we really liked it when Arsenal v Liverpool was one of the biggest fixtures around.
When they met nine times in a 13-month period in the late 1980s, including the most famous league match in fitba history, it was the biggest game in English football followed by daylight, daylight's misanthropic, tea-smoking cousin, daylight's weirdly hip granny and then some other fixture (we won't specify lest we spark an outbreak of foam). Liverpool and Arsenal have had league deciders, double deciders, umpteen (ie we can't be bothered to check the exact numb-LOOK IT'S FOUR, OK) cup finals, a European Cup quarter-final, yet tonight they meet at sixes and sevens – literally, Jeff, as they are sixth and seventh in the table. Sure, IT'S LIVE, but there is surely a far greater temptation to watch Barcelona + Real Madrid versus José Mourinho on the other side.
"Teams like Liverpool and ourselves have rebuilt over the course of the season," said Arsène Wenger, "and I think the final four or five months will determine how well the job has been done." The trouble is that this quote could have come from any of the last seven or eight seasons. This is not to blame Wenger, a good man working in an industry full of vainglorious wronguns; it's just the way things are. The last time both these sides challenged for the title was 2002. The last time either won a major trophy was 2005 (no, we don't count the FA Cup or the Milk Cup). And between them they have gone 32 years without a league title.
Thirty-two years is also the age of $tevie Mbe – pick that segue out, John – and Brendan Rodgers says negotiations over a new contract should begin before the end of the season. "When he came on at Oldham it was like someone had dropped him from heaven into the game. We went to a totally different level when he came on," said the man who left him out in the first place. Mbe will surely start tonight, with both sides needing three points in the race for fourth place. It's a big game, sure. Just not as big as it used to be.
LIVE ON BIG WEBSITE TONIGHTQUOTE OF THE DAY10 January: "I feel it was my destiny to play for Anzhi. It is paying me back well, and I am very grateful for it" – Christopher Samba on his contentment under Guus Hiddink at Anzhi Makhachkala.
30 January: "Suddenly this opportunity arose with an English club. Yesterday he left for England" – Hiddink reveals a certain wheeler-dealer has triggered Samba's £10m release clause ahead of a move to QPR.
GET A FREE £25 BET WITH BLUE SQUAREFIVER LETTERS"Re: Paul Scholes's car being stolen (yesterday's Bits and Bobs). Did he fail to catch the thieves because he tackled them too late?" – Alex Blackburn.
"An ex-colleague always used to say that there were three types of leaving do (yesterday's Fiver). There were those where you hated the person and were there to Nescafé wave them off into the distance whilst drinking huge amounts of truth serum; those where you liked the person and wanted to bro/sis/platonically hug it out whilst drinking a huge amount of truth serum; and finally those where you didn't know the person at all and just wanted to drink truth serum. I guess after Paul Lambert's defeat last night, he will fall into category one for Villa fans" – Alec Cochrane.
"In an attempt to succeed where Scott Connolly failed (yesterday's Fiver letters), I tried to determine how many talking points per game would occur if you took the 418,113,424,523,950,252,344,112 points mentioned, divided by the 32 games, divided by 90 minutes and then divided by 60 seconds to see whether this could be thus squeezed into 94 days' discussion. Entering the figure into Excel, it defaulted to all zeros after 950. I tried to format the cells, but to no avail. I tried to simplify the calculation, but to no avail. So finally, being the typical Fiver reader, I became hopelessly lost, broke down into a bout of frantic weeping, and then threw my mouse against my co-worker's cubicle. Now HR wants to have 'a little chat'. Thanks for nothing, Scott" – Chris Harrison.
Send your letters to the.boss@guardian.co.uk. And if you've nothing better to do you can also tweet the Fiver. And to placate certain readers, the Fiver awards prizeless Fiver letter o' the day to: Alec Cochrane.
JOIN GUARDIAN SOULMATESWe keep trying to point out the utter futility of advertising an online dating service "for interesting people" in the Fiver to the naive folk who run Guardian Soulmates, but they still aren't having any of it. So here you go – sign up here to view profiles of the kind of erudite, sociable and friendly romantics who would never dream of going out with you.
BITS AND BOBSEverton's deal to sign Leroy Fer and his knacked knee from FC Twente has collapsed.
Someone else will have to develop players to sell to rival clubs, now that Liam Brady has announced he will step down as head of Arsenal's youth academy next year. "Liam has a deep understanding of what it takes to discover and develop a talented youngster into someone who can perform at the highest level," said chief suit Ivan Gazidis. "For Manchester United," he didn't add.
Jack Butland doesn't fancy leaving omnishambles Birmingham City for semi-shambles Chelsea. "Jack's enjoying playing for Birmingham and he is gaining valuable experience," said his Mr 15%, Gary Mellor.
AZ Alkmaar's Jozy Altidore has taken considerably higher ground than the brainless effwits who racially abused him as his side beat Den Bosch. "All I can do is pray for them and hope they become better people," said Altidore. "I'm not going to fight them. They just have some issues and they need some help."
Shanghai Shenhua say the small matter of Didier Drogba still being under contract means he's not going to Galatasaray any time soon. "Currently, Drogba is still a player of Shanghai Shenhua, the contract between the two parties is still within the period of validity," chirruped a club statement. "Shanghai Shenhua is prepared to collate all the evidence and information and submit it to Fifa in order to protect its interests."
And Bangladesh are considering an offer to host Barcelona in a pre-season August friendly. "They have sought £2.5m as appearance fees and we are now considering our funding options," parped Bangladesh Football Federation president Kazi Salahuddin. How big of Barça.
RECOMMENDED VIEWINGThis gallery of 8-bit football memories is all kinds of ace.
STILL WANT MORE?Paul Doyle looks at le growing exodus of footballers from France.
Is Peterborough United's London Road the best ground ever for guaranteed goals? Find out in this week's edition of the Knowledge.
Lewis Holtby could prove to be Tottenham's deal of the century, writes David Hytner.
And Stuart James was on hand to see another match illustrated by a picture of Paul Lambert with a hand on his head.
SIGN UP TO THE FIVERTIMINGRob Smythguardian.co.uk © 2013 Guardian News and Media Limited or its affiliated companies. All rights reserved. | Use of this content is subject to our Terms & Conditions | More Feeds
January 23, 2013
India v England – live! | Rob Smyth and Ian McCourt
India won the fourth one-dayer by five wickets to take an unassailable 3-1 lead in the series
Rob SmythIan McCourtIndia v England – live! | Rob Smyth
Over-by-over report: Will England battle back and level the series? Join Rob Smyth for the latest news
Rob SmythJanuary 22, 2013
Manchester United and the greatest TV cup run ever? | The Knowledge
Plus: ageing managerial rookies; scoring against your future club; and in-game calls of nature. Send your questions and answers to knowledge@guardian.co.uk and follow us on Twitter
"When was the last time an FA Cup game involving Manchester United was not shown on live TV?" asks Jenny Middleton.
You have to go back to 8 January 2005, when a team including Mr Shakira drew 0-0 at home to Exeter, to find the last time United played an FA Cup game that wasn't shown live. Saturday's match against Fulham will be United's 38th FA Cup tie since then; that's quite a cup run. We don't know precisely how much United have received from TV companies for all those games, but it may well have paid for Bébé.
That Exeter game is, according to our resident United cheerleader, one of only two FA Cup ties that has not been shown live since February 1998 and one of only eight out of the last 88 ties, going back to February 1993: Charlton 1993-94, Wrexham 1994-95, Sunderland 1995-96 (the first game), Reading 1995-96, Wimbledon 1996-97 (the first game), Walsall 1997-98, Aston Villa 2003-04 and Exeter 2004-05.
Can anybody beat United's 38-game TV cup run? If so, contact knowledge@guardian.co.uk
AGEING MANAGERIAL ROOKIES"Ally McCoist was three months shy of his 48th birthday when he took his first ever manager's post at Rangers," writes Tom Mcgalpine. "Does this make him the oldest managerial 'rookie' in football's top flight?"
"George Allison took over at Arsenal on 30 May 1934 aged 50 years and 218 days (born 24 October 1883)," says Andy Kelly. "This was his first ever managerial appointment. Les Reed was 53 years and 337 days old when he was appointed caretaker manager of Charlton on 14 November 2006." John Morrow has more. "I suppose it depends how you define a manager but two obvious examples of older people spring to mind from the Premier League. If caretaker spells are included, in 2003 a 54-year-old Trevor Brooking, who had never managed a club, took charge of struggling West Ham after Glenn Roeder suffered complications from a brain tumour. On the other hand if only full-time gaffers are meant then in 1995 Alan Ball left Southampton to manage Manchester City and was surprisingly replaced by Dave Merrington, a 50-year-old member of the coaching staff who had never previously been a full-time manager (although he had briefly been Sunderland's caretaker manager twice before)."
Nigel Morrison, however, thinks he is carrying the trump card: Old Joe Fagan. "Joe Fagan took over Liverpool at the age of 62, and promptly won the league, European Cup and League Cup in his first season, before reaching another European Cup final and promptly retiring at the end of the next season."
This would surely be the winner – but it transpires Fagan was player-manager of Lancashire League club Nelson almost 30 years before he became Liverpool boss. So, depending on whether you count caretaker managers, the oldest rookie we have found so far is either Brooking or Reed.
Do you know any quinquagenarian or sexagenarian managerial rookies? If so, you know what to do
SCORING AGAINST YOUR FUTURE TEAM"Having scored against West Ham on 9 December 2012, Joe Cole went on to sign for the Hammers just over three weeks later," muses Mat Owen. "What is the shortest period of time between a player scoring against a team and then signing up with them?"
We hear all the time about players scoring against their old club, but it's common enough for them to score against their future club too. "On 2 September 2012, the Icelandic winger Rurik Gislason scored the final goal in a 2-2 home draw for Odense Boldklub (OB) against Danish Superleague dominators FC Copenhagen," writes Lars Bogegaard. "A day later he joined FC Copenhagen." Mark Andrews can go one better. "On 13 November 2007, Jon Main scored for Tonbridge Angels against AFC Wimbledon in a Ryman League Premier Division match," explains Mark. "After the game Jon signed for Wimbledon, so there were only a couple of hours between him scoring against them and signing for them. He made his debut four days later on 17 November 2007."
Any more for any more? If so, you know what to do
KNOWLEDGE ARCHIVE"I cannot recall a professional player ever having to leave the field due to a call of nature. I am sure this must have happened; does anyone remember any such incident?" asked M Munro back in 2001.
Such incidents certainly have occurred, Mr Munro. Peter Kargaard remembered that Thomas Brolin once waddled off the pitch while playing for Parma for a quick wee-wee, while Martin Ridges said that Terry Curran did exactly the same thing between the end of normal time and the start of extra-time during a League Cup match in the 1978-79 season.
Unfortunately, some players don't bother heading to the dressing room to let fly with a steaming jet. "Gordon Strachan tells a story of a pre-season friendly in Portugal where one of the Benfica players knelt down during the game and had a slash on the pitch," recollected Simon Thomas. "No doubt Gordon's sliding tackles improved no end."
John Murphys had a similar tale. "About 10 years ago an Athletic Bilbao player came out for the second half in Cadiz and was photographed having a slash against the goal post just before the match restarted."
As for vomit, we could remember Middlesbrough's Gianluca Festa honking up on the sidelines just before the second half of the 2000 Boxing Day fixture with Liverpool – probably one turkey leg too many and definitely nothing to do with booze.
(Since we answered this question, way back when, there have been some fairly famous calls of nature involving Gary Lineker, Jens Lehmann, DaMarcus Beasley and Paul Gothard.)
CAN YOU HELP?"Who has had the most different roles in the game (Sven has done coach, manager, tech dir, ambassador)?" tweets Daniel Storey.
"Is Michael Appleton trying to set a record for the most clubs managed in a season? What is the record?" muses Diggo Blick.
"Craig Noone plays for Cardiff City," begins Alistair Murdoch. "My mind being what it is, I can't help reading 'No-one' whenever I see his name. That can lead to some interesting match reports ('Noone scored a fantastic goal' – so why bother saying so?). Have there ever been any players with similarly misleading/confusing names? In particular, has there ever been a player whose surname really was 'Trialist'?"
"In 2010-11 Henri Lansbury, on loan from Arsenal, was part of the Norwich City side that won promotion from the Championship," begins Simon Bradley. "Unfortunately for Henri, he was unable to enjoy the spoils of promotion the following season, as his parent club sent him on loan to West Ham United for the entirety of the 2011-12 season. During that year, Lansbury played a role in West Ham's successful promotion push, but was again denied a place in the Premier League when Arsenal sold him to Nottingham Forest. It is not out of the realms of possibility that Forest might sneak in to the top flight via the play-offs this season, meaning Henri would have won promotion from the same division three seasons running. Would this be some sort of record?"
Send your questions and answers to knowledge@guardian.co.uk
Manchester UnitedRob Smythguardian.co.uk © 2013 Guardian News and Media Limited or its affiliated companies. All rights reserved. | Use of this content is subject to our Terms & Conditions | More Feeds
January 21, 2013
Southampton v Everton – as it happened | Rob Smyth
Rickie Lambert missed a number of chances as Mauricio Pochettino's reign started with a 0-0 draw
Rob SmythSouthampton v Everton – live! | Rob Smyth
Minute-by-minute report: How will Mauricio Pochettino get on as he takes charge of Southampton in front of a disgruntled crowd? Find out with Rob Smyth
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