Rob Smyth's Blog, page 164

India v England: fifth Test, day two – as it happened

India started their innings strongly after England were dismissed for 477, with Liam Dawson making a fine unbeaten 66 on debut

3.08pm GMT

11.26am GMT

11.02am GMT

20th over: India 60-0 (trail by 417; Rahul 30, Patel 28)

That’s it for day two in Chennai. It wasn’t the most mesmeric day’s play – the highlight was probably Liam Dawson’s patient unbeaten 66 - but the game is well poised with three days to play. Thanks for your company, bye!

10.59am GMT

19th over: India 58-0 (Rahul 29, Patel 27) Ah, Liam Dawson is going to bowl – he replaces Rashid for what should be the penultimate over of the day. His fourth ball is a nice delivery that beats Rahul’s tentative defensive stroke, and he starts with a maiden. He’s had a very good day.

10.56am GMT

18th over: India 57-0 (Rahul 29, Patel 27) There are three overs remaining, and I don’t think we’re going to see Liam Dawson get a bowl tonight. Moeen gets one to turn sharply if slowly at Rahul, who is hit on the elbow as he reaches forward defensively.

10.52am GMT

17th over: India 55-0 (Rahul 28, Patel 26) Patel picks the googly from Rashid and glides it for three to bring up the fifty partnership. Later in the over he splits the field with a delicious extra-cover drive that scoots away for four. The Indian batsmen look ominously comfortable, especially when you think that the masters, Pujara and Kohli, are still to come.

10.48am GMT

16th over: India 47-0 (Rahul 27, Patel 19) “It’ll be fine Rob, never fear,” says Guy Hornsby. “We’ve got three spinners.”

And thanks to their batting, they’ve got 272 runs to concede before they are in debit!

10.46am GMT

15th over: India 44-0 (Rahul 26, Patel 17) Adil Rashid, who batted splendidly early in the day for his 60, is coming into the attack. He has 22 wickets in the series, easily the most by an England bowler. He induces a false stroke from Patel, who gets a leading edge towards cover off a nice, flighted delivery.

10.40am GMT

14th over: India 39-0 (Rahul 25, Patel 12) Rahul gives Moeen the charge and drives handsomely over mid-off for four.

10.36am GMT

13th over: India 32-0 (Rahul 19, Patel 12) Rahul slashes a poor delivery from Stokes through the man at deep point for four. There are seven overs remaining, and England could really use a wicket or two. In truth, they don’t look like getting one.

10.32am GMT

12th over: India 26-0 (Rahul 14, Patel 11) Patel thick-edges Moeen onto the knee of Bairstow, who would have needed preposterous reactions to claim that. I suppose it goes down as a missed chance.

10.30am GMT

11th over: India 24-0 (Rahul 13, Patel 10) Stokes replaces Broad. His first ball is a wide half-volley that is driven deliciously between mid-off and extra cover for four by KL Rahul. This already looks like seriously hard work for the England bowlers.

10.25am GMT

10th over: India 17-0 (Rahul 7, Patel 9) Rahul reverse-sweeps Moeen, with Stokes making an excellent stop at slip. That counts as an exciting incident in the context of this uneventful session. Moeen almost gets a quicker 63mph delivery through Patel with the final ball.

10.21am GMT

9th over: India 16-0 (Rahul 7, Patel 8) Another maiden from Broad to Rahul, and that takes us to drinks. It’s all pretty sleepy at the moment. England have fairly defensive fields, presumably to keep control of the scoring rate and try to take an India win out of the equation.

10.15am GMT

8th over: India 16-0 (Rahul 7, Patel 8) An early bowl for Moeen, who replaces Jake Ball (3-0-9-0) and starts with a maiden to Parthiv Patel.

10.09am GMT

7th over: India 16-0 (Rahul 7, Patel 8) Rahul throws various sinks at a wide delivery from Broad and is lucky not to edge it through to Bairstow. It was such a vigorous stroke that he hurt his knee in the process, and there’s a break in play while he receives treatment. He looks pretty unconvincing and it beaten again by the last ball of the over.

10.03am GMT

6th over: India 16-0 (Rahul 7, Patel 8) Some good bounce for Ball in that over, with KL Rahul forcing one lifting delivery just short of gully. It might not be long before Alastair Cook turns to one of his spinners while the ball is still hard.

9.58am GMT

5th over: India 13-0 (Rahul 6, Patel 8) A few technical problems here – apologies – but you haven’t missed much. Broad is trying to tempt Rahul into something inappropriate outside off stump; Rahul waits for Broad to straighten his line and tucks a single off the hip. Patel is then beaten as he tries to hook a leg-side bouncer, a short of airy-fairy abandon.

9.51am GMT

3rd over: India 12-0 (Rahul 4, Patel 7) Patel is an irritating little opener, both in his cocksure manner and because of his scoring rate, and he has given India a decent start here.

9.47am GMT

2nd over: India 8-0 (Rahul 3, Patel 5) Jake Ball almost strikes third ball, with Patel edging an attempt cut just short of the slips and through for four. Root hurt his little finger in his attempt to stop the ball but he hasn’t asked for treatment.

9.41am GMT

1st over: India 2-0 (Rahul 1, Patel 1) Murali Vijay is struggling with a shoulder injury, so professional spin-bowling critic Parthiv Patel will open the batting. Stuart Broad takes the first over in the absence of Jimmy Anderson, and Patel benefits from an overthrow to get off the mark in an otherwise uneventful over.

“Cutters, mate,” says Ian Copestake. “Cutters.”

9.27am GMT

Mishra replaces Jadeja and ends the innings second ball, cleaning Ball up with the googly. Liam Dawson ends on 66 not out, a very impressive, level-headed performance. England will have around 90 minutes with the new ball. Wickets please!

9.24am GMT

157th over: England 476-9 (Dawson 65, Ball 12) Dawson lifts Ashwin high to deep midwicket, where the substitute Axar Patel takes a terrific catch above his head before falling backwards onto the rope. It’s given as six, and Ball makes it two sixes in the over with a decisive clout over long-on. Shot!

9.18am GMT

156th over: England 459-9 (Dawson 58, Ball 2) A maiden from Jadeja to Ball. Nobody really knows what a good score is on this pitch. The consensus in the commentary box is that it’s especially important to strike with the new ball.

9.16am GMT

155th over: England 459-9 (Dawson 58, Ball 2) Dawson is content to sweep Ashwin’s first ball for a single and give the strike to Jake Ball. I’ve never been sure about that approach, not even when Steve Waugh did it every second innings against England. Two from t’over.

9.13am GMT

154th over: England 456-9 (Dawson 57, Ball 1) Jake Ball is the new batsman, and he’s almost the old batsman when he inside-edges Jadeja just wide of leg stump.

“Hi,” says Paul Moody. “I’m in kampot ,Cambodia, wondering where next? Following ,your wise words as England try and get their former dead rubber title back. Re: Jardine and Verity,either would make a partnership seem more catchy or steadfast.”

9.12am GMT

I love the smell of farce in the morning. Broad has been run out after a mix-up with Dawson and some excellent work from KL Rahul on the fine-leg boundary.

9.10am GMT

153rd over: England 453-8 (Dawson 55, Broad 17) Ashwin, from around the wicket, turns one sharply to hit the pad as Dawson works across the line. Marais Erasmus says not out but India are going to review. I think this turned too much. Indeed it did, and it bounced too much as well.

9.05am GMT

152nd over: England 453-8 (Dawson 56, Broad 17) Hello again, my worthy children. Ravindra Jadeja is going to start after tea, with Liam Dawson 45 runs away from one of Test cricket’s more unlikely fairytales. Make that 44; he has just pushed a single into the off side.

8.41am GMT

151st over: England 452-8 (Dawson 55, Broad 17) That’s tea. It was a sleepy session but a good one for England, who lost just Adil Rashid for a bright 60. Liam Dawson made a calm half-century on debut, and England are slowly inching towards a position of safety. See you in 15 minutes for the final session!

8.38am GMT

150th over: England 452-8 (Dawson 55, Broad 17) Jadeja misses a run-out chance when Broad is sent back by Dawson. His throw seemed to be on target but it hit a footmark and bounced miles over the stumps. Dawson then drives the new bowler Ishant for a decidedly pleasant boundary.

8.32am GMT

149th over: England 448-8 (Dawson 51, Broad 17) Broad misses a vile hack at Ashwin, with the ball skidding past leg stump and through Parthiv Patel for three byes. Actually they were given as runs, so maybe there was an under-edge; yes, the replay shows there was, and that he would have been bowled without the deflection. Great shot! Broad, who is here for a good time rather than a long time, clouts four over extra cover to move to 17 from 12 balls.

8.30am GMT

148th over: England 440-8 (Dawson 50, Broad 10) Broad half-edges, half-steers Umesh to third man for his first boundary.

8.24am GMT

147th over: England 435-8 (Dawson 50, Broad 5) Dawson drives Ashwin for a single to reach an impressive, temperate half-century on debut. He’s faced 121 balls and hit four fours. Good lad.

“I slightly worry that Jennings is the new Frank Hayes,” says Ian Forth. “Older readers may not recall Frank but he scored an attractive ton on debut against the West Indies in, naturally, a losing cause in 1973. Then got just 122 runs over the course of eight more Tests, admittedly all against the powerful West Indies of the time. Hoping I’m wrong and he is in fact the new Graham Thorpe.”

8.20am GMT

146th over: England 430-8 (Dawson 49, Broad 1) Broad misses a mercifully wide yorker first ball, which sneaks under his bat but wide of off stump. The days of Broad being compared to Sir Garry Sobers are long gone: in Tests this year he averages 8.33.

“You mentioned the 100 partnership, which it seems (TMS aver) is now the best eighth-wicket for England in India,” says John Starbuck. “Mind you, Dawson & Rashid doesn’t ring quite the same as Jardine & Verity. Rather more mundane, but maybe a little earthier?” Yes, Jardine & Verity sounds like a cravat shop in a Poirot film.

8.15am GMT

Oh dear. Rashid falls one short of his highest Test score, slashing outside off stump and edging through to Parthiv Patel. That was a fine innings though.

8.14am GMT

145th over: England 429-7 (Dawson 49, Rashid 60) Ashwin has switched ends and starts around the wicket to Rashid, who glides a couple more to third man. It’s been a story of wrist and reward for Rashid, who has played some really lovely strokes. England are batting with such comfort on such a benign pitch that both these players may never have a better chance to reach a Test hundred.

8.10am GMT

144th over: England 424-7 (Dawson 47, Rashid 57) The lively Umesh Yadav replaces Ashwin, and does nothing that will be remembered in 10 minutes’ time.

“This situation calls for a bit of creative captaincy,” says Kimberley Thonger. “Declare on 550 when Dawson and Rashid both have their hundreds. Then, pack the infield and bowl underarm from both ends, all day. With this slow outfield it will take India three days to reach our total. Voilà, we have a draw, which will seem like a victory.” If it wasn’t for those pesky laws of the game…

8.05am GMT

143rd over: England 422-7 (Dawson 47, Rashid 56) Rashid drives Jadeja through extra cover to reach a chipper half-century from 141 balls, and then squeezes another boundary through point. This is lovely batting. That boundary brings up the hundred partnership.

8.04am GMT

142nd over: England 416-7 (Dawson 47, Rashid 46) Rashid survives a run-out referral after a marvellous piece of fielding from Jadeja. Dawson flicked the new bowler to Ashwin to mid-on, where Jadeja collected the ball and fired in a row for Ashwin to break the stumps. Rashid had been backing up but was able to slide his bat in safely.

7.58am GMT

141st over: England 410-7 (Dawson 46, Rashid 45) England will know they aren’t immune from defeat - not with 400, probably not with 500, so there is unlikely to be a push for a declaration any time soon. They are scoring fluently enough now anyway, particularly Rashid.

“I saw talk among OBOers of Batty being our best spinner, before it turned out he was truly stuck in the 1980s and even voted for Thatcher at the last referendum,” says Ian Copestake. “Now our latest debut centurion opener is in fact a golden duck walking. This is post-truth cricket at its most infuriating.”

7.55am GMT

140th over: England 410-7 (Dawson 46, Rashid 45) Poor old Mishra, who has a series average of 79, goes round the wicket and induces a false stroke from Dawson, a top-edged sweep that lands safely between short fine leg and fine leg. Rashid then drives expansively through the covers for three. He plays some extremely good-looking strokes.

7.51am GMT

139th over: England 404-7 (Dawson 44, Rashid 41) “Exciting news from Yorkshire!” says John Starbuck. “It’s Dawn! in a near-cloudless sky! Conditions are probably a bit different where you are. And in Chennai.”

7.50am GMT

138th over: England 403-7 (Dawson 43, Rashid 41) Dawson drives Mishra comfortably for a single, and then Rashid chips wristily over midwicket for four to bring up the 400. Lovely shot. These two have played really well, though that observation is accompanied by the thought: what will Virat do on here?

“Top of the morning to you, guvnor,” says Ian Copestake. “This pitch is so mauve. We don’t know what it’s planning.” A Liam Dawson spin-bowling masterclass, that’s what it’s planning, pal.

7.47am GMT

137th over: England 398-7 (Dawson 42, Rashid 37) Jadeja continues to Rashid, who has played some beautiful strokes while also putting the risky in frisky.A maiden. These runs might be important when it comes to selecting the Test team next summer: Rashid needs to show he’s a good enough No8, especially if England now decide to treat Moeen as a batsman. It’s a tricky balance. I suspect they might play Moeen at No5, leave out Jennings and play Rashid at No8. But then can you see Moeen getting enough top-order runs in Australia? But then how can you drop him after 140-odd? Oh I don’t know.

7.42am GMT

Morning. Since you asked, here’s a list of England players who have made a fifty on Test debut batting at No8 or lower. Liam Dawson might join the list in the next half-hour. The last man to do so, Tim Ambrose, was only batting at No8 because of a nightwatchman, so in a sense you have to go back to Darren Gough’s swaggering 65 against New Zealand in 1994. What a thrilling introduction that was.

7.40am GMT

136th over: England 398-7 (Dawson 42, Rashid 37) Good cricket from these two. With four people adopting various cover positions, Rashid strikes to the side of the one at point and calls early. Dawson responds immediately and a comfortable single is taken. That’s drinks and I now depart. Don’t fear, I leave you in the more qualified, capable hands of Rob Smyth. Enjoy your Saturdays!

7.36am GMT

135th over: England 397-7 (Dawson 42, Rashid 36) Dawson starting to eye up that maiden half-century, stepping across to manufacture runs and working Jadeja through square leg for two. He’s looking very solid.

7.34am GMT

134th over: England 395-7 (Dawson 40, Rashid 36) Just as I say the pitch is flat, Mishra starts to get some serious turn. After doing Rashid’s outside on the back foot, he brings him onto the front foot and repeats the trick. He decides to throw up the delivery after, but Rashid makes sure he is right to the pitch of the ball and threads it through extra cover for four.

7.31am GMT

133rd over: England 390-7 (Dawson 39, Rashid 32) A very flat over from Jadeja, as he, well, tries to york Rashid. Nothing doing.

7.30am GMT

132nd over: England 390-7 (Dawson 39, Rashid 32) Typically, just as Mishra loses his bat pad, Dawson squirts one in that direction to end the over. “Good afternoon from Sichuan,” writes Kevin on email. “Wonderful application from these two at the crease. Would you say the grit, determination and general limpe-like demeanour currently on display on par with Hameed’s Bildungsroman knock earlier in the series?” It’s not been quite as stoic because the pitch is very flat indeed, but it is good application. They might want to conserve some energy, though, as they’ll have to put in quite a shift to get 10 Indian wickets on this.

England spinners: 304/2
England non-spinners: 71/5

7.26am GMT

131st over: England 390-7 (Dwason 39, Rashid 32) The straight fielders are set fairly deep to the spinners – there for the shot over the top – so Dawson takes the single despite driving straight at mid on. It seems Virat Kohli is happy to let the game meander, so long as boundaries are kept to a minimum.

7.24am GMT

130th over: England 389-7 (Rashid 32, Dawson 38) Rashid starting to have some fun: Mishra flights one up on middle and leg, Rashid steps down and flicks him through midwicket like royalty dismissing the help.

7.22am GMT

129th over: England 385-7 (Dawson 38, Rashid 28) Just a single from the over, with the most noteworthy moment coming at the over’s conclusion, as Virat Kohli’s loose throw nearly takes Dawson’s head off. Neither party budges in the staring contest, as Marais Erasmus comes in and calls it a tie.

7.18am GMT

128th over: England 384-7 (Dawson 38, Rashid 27) A chance! Rashid closes his wrists on a ball he should be trying to work through point than midwicket. As a result, a leading edge is sent over Amit Mishra (the new bowler) but just short of the man running in from mid off. The next delivery, Rashid gets it right, executing a picture-perfect back cut for four.

7.14am GMT

127th over: England 379-7 (Dawson 38, Rashid 22) Hmmmm... a very thick outside edge from Dawson runs through third man for four. Might have been deliberately played, on reflection: Dawson did seem to open the face on impact. We’ll give him that. The following shot is definitely an edge, mind, bringing just two through the same region.

7.11am GMT

126th over: England 372-7 (Dawson 32, Rashid 22) Finally, a four to Rashid. And yes, you’ve guessed it – wristy and risky. A full sharp delivery gets edged well beyond second slip for four down to third man. And another boundary, this time worked classily inside fine leg.

7.06am GMT

125th over: England 361-7 (Dawson 30, Rashid 13) Jadeja on – a change of ends. Seems there’s more turn for him here: Rashid presses forward and is left for dead by a one that grips.

7.03am GMT

124th over: England 360-7 (Dawson 30, Rashid 12) Umesh Yadav replaces Ishant Sharma and Dawson fees for one outside off stump. Very sharp bumper to finish, which Dawson gets right under – no header this time. Maiden.

6.59am GMT

123rd over: England 360-7 (Dawson 30, Rashid 12) “Morning from Minne-Snow-ta,” begins Krishnan Patel. “It’s been relentlessly snowing outside and cosily curling up and reading the OBO is awesome. Not sure what to make of Dawson’s innings. You should always be happy for your team getting runs but this is encouraging the selectors to pick bowlers who can bat rather than... Well.. Bowl (you know the thing they are needed for).” Dawson’s place is a lesson to all county cricketers out there. Your best hope for national selection is to make it on a Lions tour. Is that a bad thing? Perhaps not, given the Lions is a handy step between the domestic and international game. But it also shows just how influential Andy Flower still is, especially given how little county cricket Trevor Bayliss watches. Two from that Ashwin over.

6.55am GMT

122nd over: England 358-7 (Dawson 29, Rashid 11) A bit of an impasse between Rashid and Sharma. A lovely, flowing straight drive is well stopped by Sharma, who gets low to his left to save four runs. When he goes for the stumps, Rashid whips him behind square leg for one. Ian Copestake on Moeen and his dismissal: “He has plenty of time to sort out his one glaring weakness as an anti-Hilditch complusive non-hooker. But it is not as if we have not all known he had this problem. I find the recurring ways some England batters get out to be a worrying aspect of what is no longer some shoddy amateur national outfit.” It might stem from the encouragement to “play their own game”. Pro-sportsmen should never be allowed to do things themselves. They simply cannot be trusted.

6.50am GMT

121st over: England 357-7 (Dawson 29, Rashid 10) Same combo from this morning as Ashwin opens with Sharma. Oooooo, bit of glove from Rashid onto pad but just short of bat-pad, who looks a touch too deep. After a few failed wristy drives, Rashid gets a full delivery on leg that he turns to midwicket for a single.

6.48am GMT

120th over: England 356-7 (Dawson 29, Rashid 9) Bit of a floater to start for Ishant, who has reapplied his suncream and, coupled with the top knot, looks primed for Kabuki theatre. “Morning from Cabella Ligure (which strangely enough is in Piedmont). Minus two with light snow forecast – What’s the temperature in Chennai?” Morning Finbar Anslow – it’s currently 29-degrees-centigrade over there. Four from the over.

6.40am GMT

“I’m a bit concerned by England’s collapse,” writes Simon Ward. “The game must go to the fourth day, not least because I have agreed to give a lift to the airport at five’o’clock on Monday morning to my teacher brother, Fran, who, to judge from his Facebook timeline, was out last night celebrating the end of his term. A bit like the feed from Chennai, the pictures stopped at some point.” A lot of very kind souls giving the gift of airport lifts at this time of year. If any of you fancy a jaunt with yours truly, from west London to Heathrow on Thursday afternoon, well, you know where to find me...

6.10am GMT

Off for more coffee. We’ve got another OBO running parallel to this one – link here – where Steve Smith is doing ridiculous things, like this:

What a shot from the skipper! #AUSvPAK pic.twitter.com/FfSuFLNu5E

6.03am GMT

119th over: England 352-7 (Dawson 27, Rashid 8) Mishra to finish the session against Dawson. While Rashid was unable to hit the rubbish, Dawson has no problems, driving a full ball through the covers for four. A single allows Rashid to dot out the remaining four balls. That’s lunch. The morning session sees 68 scored for the loss of three. Very much India’s session, but a decent push back from Dawson on debut.

5.58am GMT

118th over: England 347-7 (Daswon 22, Rashid 8) Sharma still getting that shape into the right-handers, which is impressive given this ball is more than 30-overs old. He even delivers a slower ball for good measure. A shorter length ball dies through to Dawson who, in his attempt to play it off the back foot, doubles over and falls flat on his back. There’s a strong appeal, but the ball is going well down the leg side. “Has England got the hang of Ashwin finally?” asks Nabakrishna Hazarika. “One wicket for 109 runs.” I wouldn’t say so. He’s bowled very well in parts. But he does seem to be trying a few more things, which might explain the economy rate in excess of three.

5.54am GMT

117th over: England 346-7 (Dawson 21, Rashid 8) Some Alanis Morissette irony in Adil Rashid’s inability to hit long hops and full tosses of India’s hot-and-cold leggie. What it all comes down to is one of the stranger maidens you’ll see. But everything’s gonna be fine, fine, fine.

@Vitu_E My fave Amul ad is from '83, after Zaheer Abbas hit 3 successive ODI 100s v Ind. "Zaheer ab bas" it said, Hindi for "do stop now".

5.49am GMT

116th over: England 346-7 (Dawson 21, Rashid 8) Ishant Sharma returning to the attack after his excellent opening spell and my pictures have returned! And a run! What a time to be alive. “One positive of having to get up at 3am to take No1 son to Gatwick is that I’m in front of the telly at 5.30 with a coffee and the OBO up. At least my Christmas party was on Thursday.” Great to have you with us, Matt Emerson. “I can imagine the Australian quicks looking at Moeen’s dismissal and rubbing their hands with glee. I can’t see him making a big score in Perth next winter.” That’s a fair shout, Matt. Though it’s worth pointing out that next year’s Perth Test will be played at a new ground, not the Waca, so perhaps Mo won’t be totally blown out of the water. It’ll still be quick, mind.

5.45am GMT

115th over: England 344-7 (Dawson 20, Rashid 7) “That was perfect,” responds Ed Battison, “... until you overcooked it by suggesting they’d sorted out the transport at the Rose Bowl. Even with a splitting head and churning stomach I’m not falling for that one.” There’s that third maiden. By the way – I’ve lost pictures so have taken to the wireless. It all feels so retro. Do they still do the shipping forecast?

5.41am GMT

114th over: England 344-7 (Dawson 20, Rashid 7) The battle of the left-arm spinners also ends in a draw. That’s two maidens in a row. A third and Shane Warne’s sense will be tingling. *shudders*

5.40am GMT

113th over: England 344-7 (Dawson 20, Rashid 7) The battle of the leggies ends in a draw.

5.39am GMT

Bravo

Jimmy A even copping stick from the local butter & milk company!!@jimmy9 @bbctms @Vitu_E pic.twitter.com/RLRCxQSCCA

5.38am GMT

112th over: England 344-7 (Dawson 20, Rashid 7) Rashid and Jadeja collide at the nonstriker’s end, as a throw from the deep has both scrambling to the same patch of grass. It’s a very nobbly coming together and Jadeja is worse off, receiving a Rashid elbow to the ribs. He’s down for the count. A good morning to Ed Battison: “Much like Paul I’ve been forced awake by the hangover that follows the works Christmas lunch. Not entirely surprising as lunch continued on through the afternoon and I have a definite memory of shots in a Wetherspoons before I managed to make it home at some point, around closing time. Can you lie to me about the score until we get to at least 600 to help take the pain away? I’m a Hants fan too so a century for Dawson would be good!” Good news, Ed, he’s just completed his double. Oh look – James Tomlinson has come out at no.9, resplendent beard regrown. And, what’s this – they’ve finally got some suitable transport sorted for the Ageas Bowl? What a few moments for England and Hampshire cricket. Better?

5.31am GMT

111st over: England 343-7 (Dawson 20, Rashid 6) Smart move to get Amit Mishra into the attack, giving India their full compliment of fielders. Plus Ashwin.

5.28am GMT

110th over: England 339-7 (Dawson 17, Rashid 5) Jadeja and Rashid cancel each other out for a maiden. “Dawson seems to have settled. This makes him my current favourite person in cricket,” says Ian Copestake, as he punctures his Moeen Ali blow-up doll.

Test cricket is dying yet today is "sold out". Plenty of free seats to me and 100s of fans turned away this morning @bbctms pic.twitter.com/YJp1oFNFe4

5.25am GMT

109th over: England 339-7 (Dawson 17, Rashid 5) Not sure where the bounce has gone, but little to speak of in that Ashwin over. The first delivery dies, leaving Dawson to forehand one through extra cover for two. Ashwin bowls the carrom ball, but the length is short enough for Dawson to play it off the back foot, through point for four. Lovely shot.

Moeen Ali (146) failed to find the rope with any of 7 pull shots - the last of which brought his dismissal - and 2 hook shots #INDvENG

5.22am GMT

108th over: England 333-7 (Dawson 11, Rashid 5) Spin from both ends as Jadeja replaces Yadav. After a few drives into fielders, Rashid pierces the ring with a lovely inside-out extra cover drive, which brings him three. Dawson then gets his first taste of Jadu, defending with an open face to get a single behind point. Well played.

5.19am GMT

107th over: England 329-7 (Dawson 10, Rashid 2) Rashid camps on the front foot to Ashwin, so the off spinner comes around the wicket. That presents Rash with an angle to thread one through the leg side.

5.17am GMT

106th over: England 328-7 (Dawson 10, Rashid 1) A single to both batsmen before Dawson gets his first Test boundary with a leg glance. Aniket Chowdhury writes in: “The quick fall of English wickets today morning perfectly illustrates why your best batsman (Root) needs to bat longer. From a statistical perspective, scoring a 50 every inning is awesome, but it will rarely be a match winning knock, and the other batsmen will be unable to feed off that. Root needs to work on this aspect of his game to make a real impact against stronger teams.” Agreed. I have a theory about Root. He has been attacking from start to finish in his innings for the last two years: a period which coincides with England consistently being reduced to 21-3 (or thereabouts). However, even now that he has a bit more solidity, he’s still stuck in that fast forward.

5.14am GMT

105th over: England 322-7 (Dawson 5, Rashid 0) Rashid getting well forward to the spinner, after Dawson gives him the strike with single through square leg off the back foot. A chance for the Hampshire allrounder to be a bit selfish here. Rashid is more than capable of batting for himself.

5.11am GMT

104th over: England 321-7 (Dawson 4, Rashid 0) Nice pull through midwicket to get Moeen Ali going after the short break. Umesh is a bit too wide from around the wicket, but he corrects his line to tuck up Moeen Ali and pin him on the right pectoral. And another: this one is an attempted leave down the leg side which strikes the lower arm, just before the arm pit. The very next delivery, he finds Jadeja, who runs in from a position about three-quarters deep in front of square leg. Rashid’s first ball cuts right through him, well taken by Patel diving to his left. Patel, though, stops Kohli from reviewing due to the absence of bat. England reeling.

5.08am GMT

A brilliant knock comes to an end in predictable circumstances. After being worked over with two sharp bouncers, Moeen goes after one and finds Jadeja in the deep.

5.04am GMT

“Beefy is at his most Brentesque when DRS is deployed,” emails Ian Forth. “’Was the review successful? I’ll let you be the judge of that. Hello, impact outside off, playing a shot, going over the top? Nothing to see here, next! I like to think that the third umpire couldn’t do what I do, commentary with humour, and, well actually I could do what he does. And I think he knows it.’”

If we’re talking about Beefy and Brent, I offer this. Ian and everyone else, if you haven’t seen this already, enjoy...

5.00am GMT

103rd over: England 319-6 (Moeen 144, Dawson 4) Jeepers... Ashwin bowlers an off spinner that doesn’t turn, skipping on past Moeen Ali’s leave and, importantly, off stump. The next does turn and is left with just as much conviction from Moeen. Drinks.

4.57am GMT

102nd over: England 318-6 (Moeen 143, Dawson 4) Better from Dawson, covering movement into him from Yadav, yet still able to push the ball to midwicket for a single. Moeen, too, plays a short ball better, but is nearly run out as Ravi Jadeja gathers first time and throws at the nonstriker’s end. On target and that is oh so very out.

4.53am GMT

101st over: England 315-6 (Moeen 141, Dawson 3) A lot of men around the bat ramping up the pressure on Liam Dawson and it nearly does the trick. Two horrendous deliveries are missed: the second, a full toss, is nearly chipped back to the bowler. Luckily, a leading edge takes it over Ashwin’s head and away for two runs. The over ends with Dawson looking to turn one around the corner, forgetting there’s a man right there. It bounces just short. Ashwin’s pace – slow, alluring – is doing work.

4.50am GMT

100th over: England 312-6 (Moeen 140, Dawson 1) Ishant Sharma’s excellent morning spell comes to an end, having picked up a deserved wicket. Umesh Yadav – skiddier, fuller – takes over. Dawson plays out a maiden with relative ease.

4.45am GMT

99th over: England 312-6 (Moeen 140, Dawson 1) Dawson off the mark in Test cricket with a solid sweep around the corner, off the last delivery of this Ashwin over.

4.43am GMT

98th over: England 310-6 (Moeen 139, Dawson 0) Liam Dawson gets right behind his first delivery and is then sconned by the second: a cracking short ball from Sharma follows the right-hander, who looks to have ducked out of the way to safety. But movement off the surface cracks the forehead of Dawson’s helmet. After a little break, Sharma gives him another one. This time, the sway does the job. He’s a top five batsman, is Dawson, though only one season has brought him a thousand runs (2013). The last season, broken up by a few white ball games for England, saw him return 644 runs, with one century and five fifties. Yet to get off the mark.

@vitu_e no goss except lots of overworked teachers complaining about their job being impossible because tories. But thats for another thread

4.36am GMT

97th over: England 310-6 (Moeen 139, Dawson 0) Oh hello. Moeen, with the two wickets going early, decides to punch back, flaying Ashwin over extra cover for six before hitting against the turn through midwicket for four.

4.33am GMT

96th over: England 300-6 (Moeen 129) Sharma sticking to over the wicket and the same movement he gets in to Buttler nearly squares Moeen Ali up. Luckily for Mo, with 127 to his name, he’s able to cover the change of direction at the last moment. Another short ball and Moeen Ali bites again. He checks the shot, at least, but there are two men waiting in the deep. “High risk for one,” says Nasser Hussain, with the tone of a frustrated father watching his son sticking his knife in the toaster. Again. Buttler’s gone.

@vitu_e don't worry, Vish. I'm here. Had end of term drink (I'm a teacher) and now I can't sleep because of middle age.

4.32am GMT

One of those LBWs where, as a batsman, you should really be walking off. Buttler, having moved across his stumps, is done by the one that comes in. This time, it’s full and clatters into the front pad at about shin height. Oh, so very out.

4.25am GMT

95th over: England 297-5 (Moeen 127, Buttler 4) Buttler decides to use his feet to Ashwin, as the off spinner goes for a straighter line and a few more carrom balls as the right-hander plants himself outside off stump.

4.21am GMT

94th over: England 294-5 (Moeen 126, Buttler 2) Moeen! Stop that right now. Ishant, with the most telegraphed of bumpers, and Mo bites, hooking a delivery from outside off stump behind square on the leg side. Luckily, the ball lands well short of Amit Mishra waddling in from fine leg. Criminal shot, all things considered. But he lives on. Buttler survives that appeal and starts to use his bat.

4.19am GMT

Impact outside off, Buttler playing a shot. Move on! [/Beefy]

4.18am GMT

Another nip-backer, this time Buttler plays but misses, as the ball clatters into his front pad. Looks outside off stump, but the umpire gives it not out. Kohli reviews...

4.15am GMT

93rd over: England 291-5 (Moeen 124, Buttler 2) Brisk over from Ashwin, as Moeen and Buttler play him with relative ease. Buttler seems to be getting himself well outside off stump when defending. Silly point an option? “My advice,” offers Mahendra Killedar, “don’t leave your seats! This is shaping up nicely - The Flat Track Bullies vs. Dead Rubber Bullies!!!” I’m not really sure who is who, there. England have a horrendous record in Dead Rubbers.

4.12am GMT

92nd over: England 288-5 (Moeen 123, Buttler 0) Ishant Sharma with this over. No doubt he’ll be short to Moeen Ali when he gets a decent set at hi, but Mo avoids the examination this time around with a single off the first ball. Wide and enticing to Jos Buttler, who plays and misses first time. The final delivery nips back and clatters high into Buttler’s pad, who was leaving that out of the hand.

4.06am GMT

91st over: England 287-5 (Moeen 122, Buttler 0) Ravi Ashwin starts us off, as Jerusalem gets an airing. Certainly wasn’t builded in Chennai, and if it was, it would be well behind schedule. That is unless Ashwin is in charge of the project – he’s a man who gets things done. Stokes, gone, edging behind. Jos Buttler comes in and is immediately beaten on the outside edge.

4.05am GMT

Quality bowling from Ashwin: full, bit of flight, a lot of spin away from the left-handed Stokes. Shnick. Stokes looked like he followed the ball as it turn away, but credit to the bowler for a belting delivery. Here we go again...

4.00am GMT

“Vish, we really should stop meeting like this,” tell me about it, Ian Copestake. “The prospect of a bit of Buttler to fall back on should things go awry has me all in a tizzy.” It’s comforting, like when professional help fails to effectively remove a hornet’s nest from your garden but you know a flamethrower will do the trick. Players out there and cricket imminent...

3.40am GMT

Shameless, this, but if you’re looking for a review of cricket in 2016 featuring a guitarist from the year’s best British band and the man who Kumar Sangkkara wants to play him in a movie of his life, might I recommend the following...

3.32am GMT

There’s been moaning about Moeen, reservations over Buttler’s driving and Liam Dawson is here. Really, *this* is the most wonderful time of the year. A Test that won’t count for much. Unless of course England win, in which case it’ll be chucked into a pot with some cinnamon, nutmeg and a year’s worth of wine, then simmered to extract all those delicious positives out that we can sup on until we’re all utterly Christmas tree-ed. England proved, beyond reasonable and unreasonable doubt, that 400 is no longer a score to build your house on. They need 500 today, maybe even 600, to keep us contented over the next few weeks. They’ll resume on 284 for four soon, with the new ball about five overs old and Ishant Sharma and Amit Mishra expected to do some bowling at some point today. Grounds enough for optimism. Before you stock up on Dead Rubber Cheer, Barney Ronay looks into the imminent future of Alastair Cook and wonders: “Why isn’t Cook getting pelters?”

I want the wonderfully overblown Michael Henderson calling Cook’s England “buttock-clenchingly awful” as he did the class of 1999, causing swoons in the press box. I want Henry Blofeld accosted by Ian Botham, or the excellent Stephen Brenkley being throttled across a dinner table by the chairman of the ECB. This has to matter, and to a stupid degree.

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Published on December 17, 2016 03:02

India v England: fifth Test, day two – live!

Live updates from the second day of the final TestAustralia v Pakistan: follow day three of the first Test liveAnd feel free to email rob.smyth@theguardian.com

9.27am GMT

Mishra replaces Jadeja and ends the innings second ball, cleaning Ball up with the googly. Liam Dawson ends on 66 not out, a very impressive, level-headed performance. England will have around 90 minutes with the new ball. Wickets please!

9.24am GMT

157th over: England 476-9 (Dawson 65, Ball 12) Dawson lifts Ashwin high to deep midwicket, where the substitute Axar Patel takes a terrific catch above his head before falling backwards onto the rope. It’s given as six, and Ball makes it two sixes in the over with a decisive clout over long-on. Shot!

9.18am GMT

156th over: England 459-9 (Dawson 58, Ball 2) A maiden from Jadeja to Ball. Nobody really knows what a good score is on this pitch. The consensus in the commentary box is that it’s especially important to strike with the new ball.

9.16am GMT

155th over: England 459-9 (Dawson 58, Ball 2) Dawson is content to sweep Ashwin’s first ball for a single and give the strike to Jake Ball. I’ve never been sure about that approach, not even when Steve Waugh did it every second innings against England. Two from t’over.

9.13am GMT

154th over: England 456-9 (Dawson 57, Ball 1) Jake Ball is the new batsman, and he’s almost the old batsman when he inside-edges Jadeja just wide of leg stump.

“Hi,” says Paul Moody. “I’m in kampot ,Cambodia, wondering where next? Following ,your wise words as England try and get their former dead rubber title back. Re: Jardine and Verity,either would make a partnership seem more catchy or steadfast.”

9.12am GMT

I love the smell of farce in the morning. Broad has been run out after a mix-up with Dawson and some excellent work from KL Rahul on the fine-leg boundary.

9.10am GMT

153rd over: England 453-8 (Dawson 55, Broad 17) Ashwin, from around the wicket, turns one sharply to hit the pad as Dawson works across the line. Marais Erasmus says not out but India are going to review. I think this turned too much. Indeed it did, and it bounced too much as well.

9.05am GMT

152nd over: England 453-8 (Dawson 56, Broad 17) Hello again, my worthy children. Ravindra Jadeja is going to start after tea, with Liam Dawson 45 runs away from one of Test cricket’s more unlikely fairytales. Make that 44; he has just pushed a single into the off side.

8.41am GMT

151st over: England 452-8 (Dawson 55, Broad 17) That’s tea. It was a sleepy session but a good one for England, who lost just Adil Rashid for a bright 60. Liam Dawson made a calm half-century on debut, and England are slowly inching towards a position of safety. See you in 15 minutes for the final session!

8.38am GMT

150th over: England 452-8 (Dawson 55, Broad 17) Jadeja misses a run-out chance when Broad is sent back by Dawson. His throw seemed to be on target but it hit a footmark and bounced miles over the stumps. Dawson then drives the new bowler Ishant for a decidedly pleasant boundary.

8.32am GMT

149th over: England 448-8 (Dawson 51, Broad 17) Broad misses a vile hack at Ashwin, with the ball skidding past leg stump and through Parthiv Patel for three byes. Actually they were given as runs, so maybe there was an under-edge; yes, the replay shows there was, and that he would have been bowled without the deflection. Great shot! Broad, who is here for a good time rather than a long time, clouts four over extra cover to move to 17 from 12 balls.

8.30am GMT

148th over: England 440-8 (Dawson 50, Broad 10) Broad half-edges, half-steers Umesh to third man for his first boundary.

8.24am GMT

147th over: England 435-8 (Dawson 50, Broad 5) Dawson drives Ashwin for a single to reach an impressive, temperate half-century on debut. He’s faced 121 balls and hit four fours. Good lad.

“I slightly worry that Jennings is the new Frank Hayes,” says Ian Forth. “Older readers may not recall Frank but he scored an attractive ton on debut against the West Indies in, naturally, a losing cause in 1973. Then got just 122 runs over the course of eight more Tests, admittedly all against the powerful West Indies of the time. Hoping I’m wrong and he is in fact the new Graham Thorpe.”

8.20am GMT

146th over: England 430-8 (Dawson 49, Broad 1) Broad misses a mercifully wide yorker first ball, which sneaks under his bat but wide of off stump. The days of Broad being compared to Sir Garry Sobers are long gone: in Tests this year he averages 8.33.

“You mentioned the 100 partnership, which it seems (TMS aver) is now the best eighth-wicket for England in India,” says John Starbuck. “Mind you, Dawson & Rashid doesn’t ring quite the same as Jardine & Verity. Rather more mundane, but maybe a little earthier?” Yes, Jardine & Verity sounds like a cravat shop in a Poirot film.

8.15am GMT

Oh dear. Rashid falls one short of his highest Test score, slashing outside off stump and edging through to Parthiv Patel. That was a fine innings though.

8.14am GMT

145th over: England 429-7 (Dawson 49, Rashid 60) Ashwin has switched ends and starts around the wicket to Rashid, who glides a couple more to third man. It’s been a story of wrist and reward for Rashid, who has played some really lovely strokes. England are batting with such comfort on such a benign pitch that both these players may never have a better chance to reach a Test hundred.

8.10am GMT

144th over: England 424-7 (Dawson 47, Rashid 57) The lively Umesh Yadav replaces Ashwin, and does nothing that will be remembered in 10 minutes’ time.

“This situation calls for a bit of creative captaincy,” says Kimberley Thonger. “Declare on 550 when Dawson and Rashid both have their hundreds. Then, pack the infield and bowl underarm from both ends, all day. With this slow outfield it will take India three days to reach our total. Voilà, we have a draw, which will seem like a victory.” If it wasn’t for those pesky laws of the game…

8.05am GMT

143rd over: England 422-7 (Dawson 47, Rashid 56) Rashid drives Jadeja through extra cover to reach a chipper half-century from 141 balls, and then squeezes another boundary through point. This is lovely batting. That boundary brings up the hundred partnership.

8.04am GMT

142nd over: England 416-7 (Dawson 47, Rashid 46) Rashid survives a run-out referral after a marvellous piece of fielding from Jadeja. Dawson flicked the new bowler to Ashwin to mid-on, where Jadeja collected the ball and fired in a row for Ashwin to break the stumps. Rashid had been backing up but was able to slide his bat in safely.

7.58am GMT

141st over: England 410-7 (Dawson 46, Rashid 45) England will know they aren’t immune from defeat - not with 400, probably not with 500, so there is unlikely to be a push for a declaration any time soon. They are scoring fluently enough now anyway, particularly Rashid.

“I saw talk among OBOers of Batty being our best spinner, before it turned out he was truly stuck in the 1980s and even voted for Thatcher at the last referendum,” says Ian Copestake. “Now our latest debut centurion opener is in fact a golden duck walking. This is post-truth cricket at its most infuriating.”

7.55am GMT

140th over: England 410-7 (Dawson 46, Rashid 45) Poor old Mishra, who has a series average of 79, goes round the wicket and induces a false stroke from Dawson, a top-edged sweep that lands safely between short fine leg and fine leg. Rashid then drives expansively through the covers for three. He plays some extremely good-looking strokes.

7.51am GMT

139th over: England 404-7 (Dawson 44, Rashid 41) “Exciting news from Yorkshire!” says John Starbuck. “It’s Dawn! in a near-cloudless sky! Conditions are probably a bit different where you are. And in Chennai.”

7.50am GMT

138th over: England 403-7 (Dawson 43, Rashid 41) Dawson drives Mishra comfortably for a single, and then Rashid chips wristily over midwicket for four to bring up the 400. Lovely shot. These two have played really well, though that observation is accompanied by the thought: what will Virat do on here?

“Top of the morning to you, guvnor,” says Ian Copestake. “This pitch is so mauve. We don’t know what it’s planning.” A Liam Dawson spin-bowling masterclass, that’s what it’s planning, pal.

7.47am GMT

137th over: England 398-7 (Dawson 42, Rashid 37) Jadeja continues to Rashid, who has played some beautiful strokes while also putting the risky in frisky.A maiden. These runs might be important when it comes to selecting the Test team next summer: Rashid needs to show he’s a good enough No8, especially if England now decide to treat Moeen as a batsman. It’s a tricky balance. I suspect they might play Moeen at No5, leave out Jennings and play Rashid at No8. But then can you see Moeen getting enough top-order runs in Australia? But then how can you drop him after 140-odd? Oh I don’t know.

7.42am GMT

Morning. Since you asked, here’s a list of England players who have made a fifty on Test debut batting at No8 or lower. Liam Dawson might join the list in the next half-hour. The last man to do so, Tim Ambrose, was only batting at No8 because of a nightwatchman, so in a sense you have to go back to Darren Gough’s swaggering 65 against New Zealand in 1994. What a thrilling introduction that was.

7.40am GMT

136th over: England 398-7 (Dawson 42, Rashid 37) Good cricket from these two. With four people adopting various cover positions, Rashid strikes to the side of the one at point and calls early. Dawson responds immediately and a comfortable single is taken. That’s drinks and I now depart. Don’t fear, I leave you in the more qualified, capable hands of Rob Smyth. Enjoy your Saturdays!

7.36am GMT

135th over: England 397-7 (Dawson 42, Rashid 36) Dawson starting to eye up that maiden half-century, stepping across to manufacture runs and working Jadeja through square leg for two. He’s looking very solid.

7.34am GMT

134th over: England 395-7 (Dawson 40, Rashid 36) Just as I say the pitch is flat, Mishra starts to get some serious turn. After doing Rashid’s outside on the back foot, he brings him onto the front foot and repeats the trick. He decides to throw up the delivery after, but Rashid makes sure he is right to the pitch of the ball and threads it through extra cover for four.

7.31am GMT

133rd over: England 390-7 (Dawson 39, Rashid 32) A very flat over from Jadeja, as he, well, tries to york Rashid. Nothing doing.

7.30am GMT

132nd over: England 390-7 (Dawson 39, Rashid 32) Typically, just as Mishra loses his bat pad, Dawson squirts one in that direction to end the over. “Good afternoon from Sichuan,” writes Kevin on email. “Wonderful application from these two at the crease. Would you say the grit, determination and general limpe-like demeanour currently on display on par with Hameed’s Bildungsroman knock earlier in the series?” It’s not been quite as stoic because the pitch is very flat indeed, but it is good application. They might want to conserve some energy, though, as they’ll have to put in quite a shift to get 10 Indian wickets on this.

England spinners: 304/2
England non-spinners: 71/5

7.26am GMT

131st over: England 390-7 (Dwason 39, Rashid 32) The straight fielders are set fairly deep to the spinners – there for the shot over the top – so Dawson takes the single despite driving straight at mid on. It seems Virat Kohli is happy to let the game meander, so long as boundaries are kept to a minimum.

7.24am GMT

130th over: England 389-7 (Rashid 32, Dawson 38) Rashid starting to have some fun: Mishra flights one up on middle and leg, Rashid steps down and flicks him through midwicket like royalty dismissing the help.

7.22am GMT

129th over: England 385-7 (Dawson 38, Rashid 28) Just a single from the over, with the most noteworthy moment coming at the over’s conclusion, as Virat Kohli’s loose throw nearly takes Dawson’s head off. Neither party budges in the staring contest, as Marais Erasmus comes in and calls it a tie.

7.18am GMT

128th over: England 384-7 (Dawson 38, Rashid 27) A chance! Rashid closes his wrists on a ball he should be trying to work through point than midwicket. As a result, a leading edge is sent over Amit Mishra (the new bowler) but just short of the man running in from mid off. The next delivery, Rashid gets it right, executing a picture-perfect back cut for four.

7.14am GMT

127th over: England 379-7 (Dawson 38, Rashid 22) Hmmmm... a very thick outside edge from Dawson runs through third man for four. Might have been deliberately played, on reflection: Dawson did seem to open the face on impact. We’ll give him that. The following shot is definitely an edge, mind, bringing just two through the same region.

7.11am GMT

126th over: England 372-7 (Dawson 32, Rashid 22) Finally, a four to Rashid. And yes, you’ve guessed it – wristy and risky. A full sharp delivery gets edged well beyond second slip for four down to third man. And another boundary, this time worked classily inside fine leg.

7.06am GMT

125th over: England 361-7 (Dawson 30, Rashid 13) Jadeja on – a change of ends. Seems there’s more turn for him here: Rashid presses forward and is left for dead by a one that grips.

7.03am GMT

124th over: England 360-7 (Dawson 30, Rashid 12) Umesh Yadav replaces Ishant Sharma and Dawson fees for one outside off stump. Very sharp bumper to finish, which Dawson gets right under – no header this time. Maiden.

6.59am GMT

123rd over: England 360-7 (Dawson 30, Rashid 12) “Morning from Minne-Snow-ta,” begins Krishnan Patel. “It’s been relentlessly snowing outside and cosily curling up and reading the OBO is awesome. Not sure what to make of Dawson’s innings. You should always be happy for your team getting runs but this is encouraging the selectors to pick bowlers who can bat rather than... Well.. Bowl (you know the thing they are needed for).” Dawson’s place is a lesson to all county cricketers out there. Your best hope for national selection is to make it on a Lions tour. Is that a bad thing? Perhaps not, given the Lions is a handy step between the domestic and international game. But it also shows just how influential Andy Flower still is, especially given how little county cricket Trevor Bayliss watches. Two from that Ashwin over.

6.55am GMT

122nd over: England 358-7 (Dawson 29, Rashid 11) A bit of an impasse between Rashid and Sharma. A lovely, flowing straight drive is well stopped by Sharma, who gets low to his left to save four runs. When he goes for the stumps, Rashid whips him behind square leg for one. Ian Copestake on Moeen and his dismissal: “He has plenty of time to sort out his one glaring weakness as an anti-Hilditch complusive non-hooker. But it is not as if we have not all known he had this problem. I find the recurring ways some England batters get out to be a worrying aspect of what is no longer some shoddy amateur national outfit.” It might stem from the encouragement to “play their own game”. Pro-sportsmen should never be allowed to do things themselves. They simply cannot be trusted.

6.50am GMT

121st over: England 357-7 (Dawson 29, Rashid 10) Same combo from this morning as Ashwin opens with Sharma. Oooooo, bit of glove from Rashid onto pad but just short of bat-pad, who looks a touch too deep. After a few failed wristy drives, Rashid gets a full delivery on leg that he turns to midwicket for a single.

6.48am GMT

120th over: England 356-7 (Dawson 29, Rashid 9) Bit of a floater to start for Ishant, who has reapplied his suncream and, coupled with the top knot, looks primed for Kabuki theatre. “Morning from Cabella Ligure (which strangely enough is in Piedmont). Minus two with light snow forecast – What’s the temperature in Chennai?” Morning Finbar Anslow – it’s currently 29-degrees-centigrade over there. Four from the over.

6.40am GMT

“I’m a bit concerned by England’s collapse,” writes Simon Ward. “The game must go to the fourth day, not least because I have agreed to give a lift to the airport at five’o’clock on Monday morning to my teacher brother, Fran, who, to judge from his Facebook timeline, was out last night celebrating the end of his term. A bit like the feed from Chennai, the pictures stopped at some point.” A lot of very kind souls giving the gift of airport lifts at this time of year. If any of you fancy a jaunt with yours truly, from west London to Heathrow on Thursday afternoon, well, you know where to find me...

6.10am GMT

Off for more coffee. We’ve got another OBO running parallel to this one – link here – where Steve Smith is doing ridiculous things, like this:

What a shot from the skipper! #AUSvPAK pic.twitter.com/FfSuFLNu5E

6.03am GMT

119th over: England 352-7 (Dawson 27, Rashid 8) Mishra to finish the session against Dawson. While Rashid was unable to hit the rubbish, Dawson has no problems, driving a full ball through the covers for four. A single allows Rashid to dot out the remaining four balls. That’s lunch. The morning session sees 68 scored for the loss of three. Very much India’s session, but a decent push back from Dawson on debut.

5.58am GMT

118th over: England 347-7 (Daswon 22, Rashid 8) Sharma still getting that shape into the right-handers, which is impressive given this ball is more than 30-overs old. He even delivers a slower ball for good measure. A shorter length ball dies through to Dawson who, in his attempt to play it off the back foot, doubles over and falls flat on his back. There’s a strong appeal, but the ball is going well down the leg side. “Has England got the hang of Ashwin finally?” asks Nabakrishna Hazarika. “One wicket for 109 runs.” I wouldn’t say so. He’s bowled very well in parts. But he does seem to be trying a few more things, which might explain the economy rate in excess of three.

5.54am GMT

117th over: England 346-7 (Dawson 21, Rashid 8) Some Alanis Morissette irony in Adil Rashid’s inability to hit long hops and full tosses of India’s hot-and-cold leggie. What it all comes down to is one of the stranger maidens you’ll see. But everything’s gonna be fine, fine, fine.

@Vitu_E My fave Amul ad is from '83, after Zaheer Abbas hit 3 successive ODI 100s v Ind. "Zaheer ab bas" it said, Hindi for "do stop now".

5.49am GMT

116th over: England 346-7 (Dawson 21, Rashid 8) Ishant Sharma returning to the attack after his excellent opening spell and my pictures have returned! And a run! What a time to be alive. “One positive of having to get up at 3am to take No1 son to Gatwick is that I’m in front of the telly at 5.30 with a coffee and the OBO up. At least my Christmas party was on Thursday.” Great to have you with us, Matt Emerson. “I can imagine the Australian quicks looking at Moeen’s dismissal and rubbing their hands with glee. I can’t see him making a big score in Perth next winter.” That’s a fair shout, Matt. Though it’s worth pointing out that next year’s Perth Test will be played at a new ground, not the Waca, so perhaps Mo won’t be totally blown out of the water. It’ll still be quick, mind.

5.45am GMT

115th over: England 344-7 (Dawson 20, Rashid 7) “That was perfect,” responds Ed Battison, “... until you overcooked it by suggesting they’d sorted out the transport at the Rose Bowl. Even with a splitting head and churning stomach I’m not falling for that one.” There’s that third maiden. By the way – I’ve lost pictures so have taken to the wireless. It all feels so retro. Do they still do the shipping forecast?

5.41am GMT

114th over: England 344-7 (Dawson 20, Rashid 7) The battle of the left-arm spinners also ends in a draw. That’s two maidens in a row. A third and Shane Warne’s sense will be tingling. *shudders*

5.40am GMT

113th over: England 344-7 (Dawson 20, Rashid 7) The battle of the leggies ends in a draw.

5.39am GMT

Bravo

Jimmy A even copping stick from the local butter & milk company!!@jimmy9 @bbctms @Vitu_E pic.twitter.com/RLRCxQSCCA

5.38am GMT

112th over: England 344-7 (Dawson 20, Rashid 7) Rashid and Jadeja collide at the nonstriker’s end, as a throw from the deep has both scrambling to the same patch of grass. It’s a very nobbly coming together and Jadeja is worse off, receiving a Rashid elbow to the ribs. He’s down for the count. A good morning to Ed Battison: “Much like Paul I’ve been forced awake by the hangover that follows the works Christmas lunch. Not entirely surprising as lunch continued on through the afternoon and I have a definite memory of shots in a Wetherspoons before I managed to make it home at some point, around closing time. Can you lie to me about the score until we get to at least 600 to help take the pain away? I’m a Hants fan too so a century for Dawson would be good!” Good news, Ed, he’s just completed his double. Oh look – James Tomlinson has come out at no.9, resplendent beard regrown. And, what’s this – they’ve finally got some suitable transport sorted for the Ageas Bowl? What a few moments for England and Hampshire cricket. Better?

5.31am GMT

111st over: England 343-7 (Dawson 20, Rashid 6) Smart move to get Amit Mishra into the attack, giving India their full compliment of fielders. Plus Ashwin.

5.28am GMT

110th over: England 339-7 (Dawson 17, Rashid 5) Jadeja and Rashid cancel each other out for a maiden. “Dawson seems to have settled. This makes him my current favourite person in cricket,” says Ian Copestake, as he punctures his Moeen Ali blow-up doll.

Test cricket is dying yet today is "sold out". Plenty of free seats to me and 100s of fans turned away this morning @bbctms pic.twitter.com/YJp1oFNFe4

5.25am GMT

109th over: England 339-7 (Dawson 17, Rashid 5) Not sure where the bounce has gone, but little to speak of in that Ashwin over. The first delivery dies, leaving Dawson to forehand one through extra cover for two. Ashwin bowls the carrom ball, but the length is short enough for Dawson to play it off the back foot, through point for four. Lovely shot.

Moeen Ali (146) failed to find the rope with any of 7 pull shots - the last of which brought his dismissal - and 2 hook shots #INDvENG

5.22am GMT

108th over: England 333-7 (Dawson 11, Rashid 5) Spin from both ends as Jadeja replaces Yadav. After a few drives into fielders, Rashid pierces the ring with a lovely inside-out extra cover drive, which brings him three. Dawson then gets his first taste of Jadu, defending with an open face to get a single behind point. Well played.

5.19am GMT

107th over: England 329-7 (Dawson 10, Rashid 2) Rashid camps on the front foot to Ashwin, so the off spinner comes around the wicket. That presents Rash with an angle to thread one through the leg side.

5.17am GMT

106th over: England 328-7 (Dawson 10, Rashid 1) A single to both batsmen before Dawson gets his first Test boundary with a leg glance. Aniket Chowdhury writes in: “The quick fall of English wickets today morning perfectly illustrates why your best batsman (Root) needs to bat longer. From a statistical perspective, scoring a 50 every inning is awesome, but it will rarely be a match winning knock, and the other batsmen will be unable to feed off that. Root needs to work on this aspect of his game to make a real impact against stronger teams.” Agreed. I have a theory about Root. He has been attacking from start to finish in his innings for the last two years: a period which coincides with England consistently being reduced to 21-3 (or thereabouts). However, even now that he has a bit more solidity, he’s still stuck in that fast forward.

5.14am GMT

105th over: England 322-7 (Dawson 5, Rashid 0) Rashid getting well forward to the spinner, after Dawson gives him the strike with single through square leg off the back foot. A chance for the Hampshire allrounder to be a bit selfish here. Rashid is more than capable of batting for himself.

5.11am GMT

104th over: England 321-7 (Dawson 4, Rashid 0) Nice pull through midwicket to get Moeen Ali going after the short break. Umesh is a bit too wide from around the wicket, but he corrects his line to tuck up Moeen Ali and pin him on the right pectoral. And another: this one is an attempted leave down the leg side which strikes the lower arm, just before the arm pit. The very next delivery, he finds Jadeja, who runs in from a position about three-quarters deep in front of square leg. Rashid’s first ball cuts right through him, well taken by Patel diving to his left. Patel, though, stops Kohli from reviewing due to the absence of bat. England reeling.

5.08am GMT

A brilliant knock comes to an end in predictable circumstances. After being worked over with two sharp bouncers, Moeen goes after one and finds Jadeja in the deep.

5.04am GMT

“Beefy is at his most Brentesque when DRS is deployed,” emails Ian Forth. “’Was the review successful? I’ll let you be the judge of that. Hello, impact outside off, playing a shot, going over the top? Nothing to see here, next! I like to think that the third umpire couldn’t do what I do, commentary with humour, and, well actually I could do what he does. And I think he knows it.’”

If we’re talking about Beefy and Brent, I offer this. Ian and everyone else, if you haven’t seen this already, enjoy...

5.00am GMT

103rd over: England 319-6 (Moeen 144, Dawson 4) Jeepers... Ashwin bowlers an off spinner that doesn’t turn, skipping on past Moeen Ali’s leave and, importantly, off stump. The next does turn and is left with just as much conviction from Moeen. Drinks.

4.57am GMT

102nd over: England 318-6 (Moeen 143, Dawson 4) Better from Dawson, covering movement into him from Yadav, yet still able to push the ball to midwicket for a single. Moeen, too, plays a short ball better, but is nearly run out as Ravi Jadeja gathers first time and throws at the nonstriker’s end. On target and that is oh so very out.

4.53am GMT

101st over: England 315-6 (Moeen 141, Dawson 3) A lot of men around the bat ramping up the pressure on Liam Dawson and it nearly does the trick. Two horrendous deliveries are missed: the second, a full toss, is nearly chipped back to the bowler. Luckily, a leading edge takes it over Ashwin’s head and away for two runs. The over ends with Dawson looking to turn one around the corner, forgetting there’s a man right there. It bounces just short. Ashwin’s pace – slow, alluring – is doing work.

4.50am GMT

100th over: England 312-6 (Moeen 140, Dawson 1) Ishant Sharma’s excellent morning spell comes to an end, having picked up a deserved wicket. Umesh Yadav – skiddier, fuller – takes over. Dawson plays out a maiden with relative ease.

4.45am GMT

99th over: England 312-6 (Moeen 140, Dawson 1) Dawson off the mark in Test cricket with a solid sweep around the corner, off the last delivery of this Ashwin over.

4.43am GMT

98th over: England 310-6 (Moeen 139, Dawson 0) Liam Dawson gets right behind his first delivery and is then sconned by the second: a cracking short ball from Sharma follows the right-hander, who looks to have ducked out of the way to safety. But movement off the surface cracks the forehead of Dawson’s helmet. After a little break, Sharma gives him another one. This time, the sway does the job. He’s a top five batsman, is Dawson, though only one season has brought him a thousand runs (2013). The last season, broken up by a few white ball games for England, saw him return 644 runs, with one century and five fifties. Yet to get off the mark.

@vitu_e no goss except lots of overworked teachers complaining about their job being impossible because tories. But thats for another thread

4.36am GMT

97th over: England 310-6 (Moeen 139, Dawson 0) Oh hello. Moeen, with the two wickets going early, decides to punch back, flaying Ashwin over extra cover for six before hitting against the turn through midwicket for four.

4.33am GMT

96th over: England 300-6 (Moeen 129) Sharma sticking to over the wicket and the same movement he gets in to Buttler nearly squares Moeen Ali up. Luckily for Mo, with 127 to his name, he’s able to cover the change of direction at the last moment. Another short ball and Moeen Ali bites again. He checks the shot, at least, but there are two men waiting in the deep. “High risk for one,” says Nasser Hussain, with the tone of a frustrated father watching his son sticking his knife in the toaster. Again. Buttler’s gone.

@vitu_e don't worry, Vish. I'm here. Had end of term drink (I'm a teacher) and now I can't sleep because of middle age.

4.32am GMT

One of those LBWs where, as a batsman, you should really be walking off. Buttler, having moved across his stumps, is done by the one that comes in. This time, it’s full and clatters into the front pad at about shin height. Oh, so very out.

4.25am GMT

95th over: England 297-5 (Moeen 127, Buttler 4) Buttler decides to use his feet to Ashwin, as the off spinner goes for a straighter line and a few more carrom balls as the right-hander plants himself outside off stump.

4.21am GMT

94th over: England 294-5 (Moeen 126, Buttler 2) Moeen! Stop that right now. Ishant, with the most telegraphed of bumpers, and Mo bites, hooking a delivery from outside off stump behind square on the leg side. Luckily, the ball lands well short of Amit Mishra waddling in from fine leg. Criminal shot, all things considered. But he lives on. Buttler survives that appeal and starts to use his bat.

4.19am GMT

Impact outside off, Buttler playing a shot. Move on! [/Beefy]

4.18am GMT

Another nip-backer, this time Buttler plays but misses, as the ball clatters into his front pad. Looks outside off stump, but the umpire gives it not out. Kohli reviews...

4.15am GMT

93rd over: England 291-5 (Moeen 124, Buttler 2) Brisk over from Ashwin, as Moeen and Buttler play him with relative ease. Buttler seems to be getting himself well outside off stump when defending. Silly point an option? “My advice,” offers Mahendra Killedar, “don’t leave your seats! This is shaping up nicely - The Flat Track Bullies vs. Dead Rubber Bullies!!!” I’m not really sure who is who, there. England have a horrendous record in Dead Rubbers.

4.12am GMT

92nd over: England 288-5 (Moeen 123, Buttler 0) Ishant Sharma with this over. No doubt he’ll be short to Moeen Ali when he gets a decent set at hi, but Mo avoids the examination this time around with a single off the first ball. Wide and enticing to Jos Buttler, who plays and misses first time. The final delivery nips back and clatters high into Buttler’s pad, who was leaving that out of the hand.

4.06am GMT

91st over: England 287-5 (Moeen 122, Buttler 0) Ravi Ashwin starts us off, as Jerusalem gets an airing. Certainly wasn’t builded in Chennai, and if it was, it would be well behind schedule. That is unless Ashwin is in charge of the project – he’s a man who gets things done. Stokes, gone, edging behind. Jos Buttler comes in and is immediately beaten on the outside edge.

4.05am GMT

Quality bowling from Ashwin: full, bit of flight, a lot of spin away from the left-handed Stokes. Shnick. Stokes looked like he followed the ball as it turn away, but credit to the bowler for a belting delivery. Here we go again...

4.00am GMT

“Vish, we really should stop meeting like this,” tell me about it, Ian Copestake. “The prospect of a bit of Buttler to fall back on should things go awry has me all in a tizzy.” It’s comforting, like when professional help fails to effectively remove a hornet’s nest from your garden but you know a flamethrower will do the trick. Players out there and cricket imminent...

3.40am GMT

Shameless, this, but if you’re looking for a review of cricket in 2016 featuring a guitarist from the year’s best British band and the man who Kumar Sangkkara wants to play him in a movie of his life, might I recommend the following...

3.32am GMT

There’s been moaning about Moeen, reservations over Buttler’s driving and Liam Dawson is here. Really, *this* is the most wonderful time of the year. A Test that won’t count for much. Unless of course England win, in which case it’ll be chucked into a pot with some cinnamon, nutmeg and a year’s worth of wine, then simmered to extract all those delicious positives out that we can sup on until we’re all utterly Christmas tree-ed. England proved, beyond reasonable and unreasonable doubt, that 400 is no longer a score to build your house on. They need 500 today, maybe even 600, to keep us contented over the next few weeks. They’ll resume on 284 for four soon, with the new ball about five overs old and Ishant Sharma and Amit Mishra expected to do some bowling at some point today. Grounds enough for optimism. Before you stock up on Dead Rubber Cheer, Barney Ronay looks into the imminent future of Alastair Cook and wonders: “Why isn’t Cook getting pelters?”

I want the wonderfully overblown Michael Henderson calling Cook’s England “buttock-clenchingly awful” as he did the class of 1999, causing swoons in the press box. I want Henry Blofeld accosted by Ian Botham, or the excellent Stephen Brenkley being throttled across a dinner table by the chairman of the ECB. This has to matter, and to a stupid degree.

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Published on December 17, 2016 01:27

Michael van Gerwen ready for another tilt at PDC world darts championship

Dutchman won his one and only world title in 2014 but he sets off after another at Alexandra Palace on Saturday the overwhelming favourite in a season where he has 91% win percentage

Michael van Gerwen is arguably the most dominant sportsman in the world, yet he is not world champion of his own sport. That paradox dominates the buildup to the PDC World Championship, the festive jamboree that begins at Alexandra Palace on Thursday night. In the past 12 months the Dutchman has seen his own 2015 brilliance and raised it by winning a staggering 25 tournaments, including nine of the 10 that have been televised live. But it is three years since he won his only world title.

If there was any doubt how much the tournament means to him it disappeared during his forlorn interview after he lost an epic third-round match to Raymond van Barneveld last year. Van Gerwen won 18 tournaments in 2015 but ended a staggering year on a crushing low. “I want to win this one,” he said. “I want to throw all the other titles in the bin for this one.” When he was asked: “What next for you?” a solemn Van Gerwen replied: “Not much.”

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Published on December 14, 2016 03:29

Liverpool 2-2 West Ham United: Premier League – as it happened

An error-strewn, hugely entertaining match at Anfield ended level after Divock Origi’s second-half equaliser

Match report: Liverpool 2-2 West Ham

6.40pm GMT

6.24pm GMT

You don’t need to be a professional lipreader to see Jordan Henderson tell somebody to eff off at the final whistle. Liverpool will be frustrated with that result; they played some terrific football, and Darren Randolph made an awesome save at 2-2, but their defensive imperfections cost them again. West Ham put in a helluva shift, and all in all it was a richly entertaining match. Thanks for your company, night!

6.22pm GMT

Peep peep! What a fantastic match that was.

6.21pm GMT

90+2 min Payet breaks forward dangerously, one against one with Matip, who stands his ground and wins the ball cleanly. That was lovely defending under severe pressure. At the other end, Cresswell twists his body to chest Milner’s deep cross behind for a corner. This is pulsating stuff.

6.20pm GMT

90+1 min Carroll is back on. There will be three minutes of added time.

6.20pm GMT

90 min Carroll has a cut on the eye after that clearance from Karius a few minutes ago, which means West Ham are down to 10. Origi tries to wriggle free in the box and goes over after a challenge from Reid. Mark Clattenburg wasn’t interested and although Reid’s leg caught Origi, I don’t think it was a foul.

6.16pm GMT

87 min Ogbonna curls a booming deep cross towards Carroll, and Karius flies from his line to punch clear. Good goalkeeping.

6.15pm GMT

85 min Milner’s long-range shot hits Nortdveit - yet another block - and goes behind for a corner. Nothing comes of it and West Ham break wearily. Nothing comes of that either. Both sets of players have given so much in this game.

6.12pm GMT

83 min Another gorgeous move from Liverpool. Clyne plays it down the right to Mane, who crosses first-time on the turn. Lallana then flicks it daintily behind him to Clyne, who thrashes over from the edge of the box. That was lovely one-touch play.

6.11pm GMT

82 min “Although I was only joking about the freak event, I’m not sure Liverpool’s failure to win against Chelsea was just due to that piece of bad fortune,” says David Wall. “Up to that point they’d created absolutely nothing, and didn’t look like doing so. That was one of the reasons why Gerrard had dropped to deep to get the ball when he (let’s not forget) let it roll under his foot into the path of Demba Ba and lost his footing trying to recover. The daft thing was that they could have drawn that match, and followed up with a win at Palace, to stay on top of the table. I think Peter Oh’s point is a good one, Henderson had been great for them in the run in, allowing Gerrard, Sterling, and Coutinho to surge forward without so much of the defensive duties that Gerrard messed up against Chelsea.”

Interesting. I think they’d have won without it but I wouldn’t abuse you on social media for having an alternative viewpoint.

6.11pm GMT

81 min Payet makes room for a shot 25 yards out, only to belabour it into the posh seats.

6.08pm GMT

80 min Liverpool are pressing furiously, and a nice stat on Sky Sports shows they lead 48-4 when it comes to touches in the opposition box. West Ham look tired now.

6.07pm GMT

79 min “I completely agree about the significance of The Slip,” says Matt Dony. “Had Liverpool won that game, they wouldn’t have got carried away with ridiculous goal-difference chasing at Crystal Palace. The three Liverpool goals came so easily, it was as if they thought they could score the 6 or 7 they needed, putting even more pressure on an already ropey defence. What could have been, eh? We don’t need it proved in a court of law. The MBM is the highest authority I recognise.”

6.06pm GMT

78 min A West Ham change: Edimilson Fernandes on, Lanzini off.

6.05pm GMT

77 min “Just to answer Peter Oh’s question about Henderson, he was sent off in the game against Man City at Anfield,” says Ken Coogan. “If you look closely enough, you’ll see the bottom lip wobble as he walks off the pitch......I’ve always believed that if we’d had Henderson in the team during that run-in, we’d have easily made it over the finish line.”

6.05pm GMT

76 min Now Mane is booked for throwing his hands into Cresswell’s face.

6.04pm GMT

75 min That’s a big blow for Liverpool as Mane will now miss the Merseyside derby a week tomorrow.

6.03pm GMT

74 min Mane punches Carroll in the chest off the ball. It was only a tap but he’ll be getting a three-match ban for that.

6.01pm GMT

72 min Mane’s low shot is kicked away by Reid. West Ham have blocked so many shots today.

5.59pm GMT

70 min Randolph makes an exceptional save from Henderson’s booming long-range curler. What a save! It was not dissimilar to Henderson’s stunning goal at Chelsea, though struck from a more central position. It was a brilliant effort that was going in the top corner before Randolph flew to his left and stretched with his wrong hand, the right, to palm it over.

5.57pm GMT

67 min A great move from Liverpool: Firmino’s penetrative pass, Lallana’s precise cutback, Wijnaldum’s turn and finally Wijnaldum’s shot that is blocked crucially by a defender.

5.55pm GMT

66 min West Ham have calmed things down, for the time being at least. I’d bet my last pot of Acai that this won’t end 2-2, though.

5.54pm GMT

64 min “Hi Rob,” says Peter Oh. “Re: David Wall’s question (49 min.). I can’t recall if it was due to injury or a red card-induced ban, but Jordan Henderson’s absence in a crucial set of late season matches was as big a factor as any in Liverpool’s failure to charge to the title in 2014.”

Didn’t he get sent off at Norwich? Either way, though his absence was important, they were dominating Chelsea until the gods dropped one on Gerrard from a great height.

5.52pm GMT

63 min Liverpool legend Andy Carroll comes on for West Ham, replacing the anonymous Andre Ayew.

5.51pm GMT

62 min Wijnaldum lumbers into all sorts of space down the left before coming infield and sweeping a cross-shot just wide of the far post. He needed a soupcon of curl on that to bring it inside the post.

5.50pm GMT

61 min A good pass from Lanzini to Ayew, who turns in the D and belts a shot that is well blocked by Matip, I think.

5.50pm GMT

61 min Here’s Alex Netherton. “Would you say that this season, with the league pretty open, that Liverpool are at the precipice of an enormous crossroads if they lose this game?”

My concern would be that two straight defeats could cause some dysentery among the ranks.

5.49pm GMT

60 min Liverpool look like creating a chance with every attack. They manufacture a corner on the right, which is taken by Henderson. Antonio uses his appreciable noggin to clear.

5.48pm GMT

58 min Franco Baresi. Franz Beckenbauer. Carlos Kaiser. Paolo Maldini. Jaap Stam. Steve Bruce. Steve Bould. Cafu. Jorginho. Alan Hansen. Jurgen Kohler. All these legendary defenders are turning in their metaphorical grave at the state of modern defending.

5.45pm GMT

55 min “Evening Rob,” says Steven Hughes. “Are Liverpool’s defence fishing for their own one-hour, HBO comedy special?”

There’s nothing funny about football, Steven. This is serious business. This is more than life or death. This is this league. This is football.

5.44pm GMT

54 min I’d forgotten Ayew was on the pitch.

5.44pm GMT

53 min Firmino is booked for a foul on Noble, who was breaking dangerously. I thought Firmino got the ball, but whatever. Payet’s resuling free-kick is headed wide from eight yards by the stooping Ayew, who might have done better. Actually I think he ended up inadvertently punching it wide, such was the sharp dip on the ball. By the time it got to him he could have volleyed it.

5.40pm GMT

51 min A loose ball comes to Origi, whose vicious snapshot is well blocked by Reid.

5.39pm GMT

50 min Wijnaldum shoots just wide of the right-hand post from the edge of the area. West Ham are under siege. They seriously need to score four here, just to get a point.

5.38pm GMT

49 min “What was that ‘one freak event’ in 2013/14 that prevented Liverpool winning the title?” asks David Wall. “The capitulation from a three-goal lead to draw at Selhurst Park?”

I can’t prove it in a court of law, but if Gerrard hadn’t slipped I am sure they’d have beaten both Chelsea and Crystal Palace. That Palace collapse was only really of symbolic value. The title was gone by then.

5.37pm GMT

That didn’t take long. Mane’s cross from the left is dropped by Randolph at the feet of Origi, who clips it in off the post from six yards. He almost missed that. I’m not sure Randolph needed to go near that cross, and he certainly didn’t need to try to catch it. Randolph the red-faced, oh dear.

5.35pm GMT

47 min “Conte’s socks are on fire?” says Ian Copestake. “Isn’t that a Beyonce song?”

I had Hootie and the Blowfish?

5.34pm GMT

46 min Peep peep! West Ham kick off from left to right.

5.34pm GMT

Liverpool have made a half-time substitution, with Ragnar Klavan replacing Dejan Lovren.

5.25pm GMT

“OK. thought experiment: can you imagine an Antonio Conte team conceding those goals?” says Jake Lynch. “Sure, he acts like his socks are on fire, but he sure knows how to organise a defence.”

Oh, never, but can you imagine a Conte team playing attacking football as consistently exhilarating as Liverpool’s?

5.23pm GMT

Half-time chit-chat

“It could be the Sunday beers or the tiredness from an earlier Ikea trip but I read the last three West Ham subs (Quino, Browne, Pike) as Quinoa, Brown Rice,” says Andrew De Asha. “I’ve become hideously middle class and am ashamed.”

5.19pm GMT

Peep peep! West Ham have come from behind to lead, thanks in part to some imperfect goalkeeping and defending from Liverpool. See you in 10 minutes for the second half.

5.19pm GMT

45+2 min Payet is fortunate not to concede a penalty for a very clumsy challenge on Lallana. From the resulting corner, Matip loops a header onto the bar! Mark Clattenburg blew for a foul, though I think that was after it hit the bar.

5.16pm GMT

45 min Cresswell’s errant pass allows Liverpool to counter. Eventually Origi’s twinkle-toed snapshot from 15 yards is blocked by a defender. This game, in the parlance of our time, could end up anything. I’m sticking with the pre-match prediction of 5-2.

5.15pm GMT

42 min “You were saying Robby?” says Yoann Lechenault.

Defences lose first halves. Attacks win matches.

5.13pm GMT

41 min Good play from Wijnaldum, who beats his man down the right and crosses towards Firmino. His header drifts just wide of the far post, though Ranolph may have had it covered.

5.09pm GMT

Antonio has given West Ham the lead! Nortdveit’s angled driven pass from the right looped up off the head of Henderson, wrongfooting the last man Matic in the process. That allowed Antonio to run through on goal, and he flicked the ball gently past the static Karius. Matip was strangely slow to react to the change of trajectory.

5.08pm GMT

38 min This is Liverpool’s best spell of the match, and West Ham would be happy to hear the half-time whistle.

5.07pm GMT

37 min Lallana’s delicious reverse pass from the left finds Wijnaldum, whose shot is blocked by Ogbonna. The ball comes to Mane, whose shot dribbles wide from the edge of the box.

5.06pm GMT

35 min “As a Liverpool fan I would love to agree with you about our chances of being champions but we just cannot and do not defend well enough,” says Jake Lynch. “Caught with nine players in the opposition half last week when 3-1 up away from home - now giving away a silly free kick to a bunch of wasters like West Ham. Klopp must go!”

What if he bought Fonte or Van Dijk from your feeder club in January? I do see what you mean but I don’t totally agree – the defence in 2013-14 was hopeless but you’d have won the league were it not for one freak event. Attacks are so powerful these days that I’m not sure the Keegan/Newcastle precedent is quite as powerful as it used to be.

5.05pm GMT

34 min Milner’s excellent inswinging corner from the left is flicked on by the head of Matip at the near post, but nobody can get on the end of it at the far post. Klopp growls with annoyance on the bench. Do Opta have stats to show whether any top manager grits their teeth more than Klopp? Doesn’t he know he’s a role model?

5.01pm GMT

30 min “Offence wins games,” says Yoann Lechenault. “Defence wins championship. Liverpool is too vulnerable. Yes the free-kick is great, but they never should have given it in the first place.”

So in theory your attack could win all 38 games and you’d still lose the title?

4.59pm GMT

29 min After a terrific move involving Mane and Lallana, Henderson’s first-time shot from eight yards is crucially blocked by a defender.

4.58pm GMT

Payet equalises with the free-kick, though many eyes will again be on the goalkeeper Karius. It was a good free-kick, over the wall and dipping sharply towards the bottom-left corner. It wasn’t right in the corner though, and although Karius got his right hand to the ball, it went through him and into the net.

4.56pm GMT

26 min Obiang is fouled 25 yards from goal by Lallana. It’s in Payet Territory™.

4.55pm GMT

25 min “Every manager in CM/PM would keep a versatile player like Antonio in their team, usually sitting on the bench as the perfect sub,” says Matt Hanley. “My mate at uni would always rename him ‘The Waffle’, as in ‘Birdseye Potato Waffles, they’re waffling versatile.’ That was almost 15 years ago, but it still makes me giggle.”

4.53pm GMT

23 min The atmosphere is a bit flat. Modern football got to Anfield too, it seems. The game is ambling along pleasantly enough, but with no chances at either end.

4.51pm GMT

20 min “Were you singling out Kalle Weis-Fogh as the weak link on the MBM?” says Matt Dony. “Barbaric. And as much as I would love to agree with you about Liverpool’s title chances, I just can’t see past a late-season collapse. It makes it hard work enjoying the free-flowing goal-scoring fun at the moment. My word, football can make us grumpy...”

I just don’t see Klopp teams as the collapsing type, for all the pressure they will be under after the events of May 2014. Also, as well as the manager, most of these players weren’t at the club then, which doesn’t hurt. I’ve arranged a long summer holiday in an internet-free haven, just in case.

4.49pm GMT

19 min Breaking news: not much is happening. Liverpool look in control, and West Ham - though not playing badly - have the air of a team whose subconscious is telling them not to bother attacking, because they probably need to score five to get a point.

4.46pm GMT

16 min “Thank heavens for an early goal,” says Hubert O’Hearn. “I’ve been working since 6AM editing a magazine and i was worried I’d nod off during the match. But never! Not with Energizer Bunny Adam Lallana on fire. Now to relax with a bottle of Special Grape annnnndddd zzzzzzzzz....”

I was so tired the other day that I think I fell asleep standing up. Old-middle age is going to be heaps of dignified fun.

4.45pm GMT

15 min Mane, on the right wing, drills a terrific square pass to find Firmino in space just inside the area. His shot is deflected behind for a corner.

4.44pm GMT

13 min West Ham have started the game well, with lots of possession, but one slight of concentration at the back means they trail. If Liverpool get a second soon this will get messy.

4.39pm GMT

9 min “So the result at O.T. means the gap between United and Sunderland and the gap between United and Chelsea is the same: 13 points,” says Phil Grey. “Does that make United mid-table? I’d like to think so.”

Please don’t go all mean, median and mode on our collective ass, not on a Sunday. Don’t even drive out to Jersey.

4.38pm GMT

8 min Karius makes a good save to deny Antonio. Reid played a long, speculative pass behind the defence, allowing Antonio to run away from Lovren. Although Lovren got back to cover, Antonio was able to whip a near-post shot that was palmed round by the stretching Karius.

4.37pm GMT

7 min A West Ham corner is punched away unconvincingly by Karius to Lanzini, who volleys high and wide from the edge of the box.

4.36pm GMT

6 min A theme of the season is players who have been revitalised not by a change of club but by a change of manager: Rojo, Sterling, er loads of other s I can’t remember ... and of course Lallana, who has been terrific.

4.35pm GMT

That didn’t take long. Mane goes on a winding run from right to left before clipping a low cross to Lallana, who controls the ball 10 yards from goal and pings an excellent left-footed shot into the far corner.

4.34pm GMT

4 min West Ham are playing with Antonio up front and Ayew on the right. Antonio would be a Championship Manager’s dream: DMF RC.

4.33pm GMT

3 min A busy start from Liverpool, as you’d expected, and Randolph has to come from his line to punch away Henderson’s cross.

4.31pm GMT

2 min “That Liverpool bench,” sniffs John Beaven. “That’s really not a title winning squad is it?”

I see what you mean but they do have a few injuries, and the need for a strong squad is reduced by the fact they aren’t in Europe. I still think they will win it.

4.30pm GMT

1 min Peep peep! Liverpook kick off from left to right. They are in red; West Ham are in white.

4.26pm GMT

“Off to the pub to watch the game,” hics Kalle Weis-Fogh. “Before a ball has even been kicked, I can feel your anti-Liverpool bias in your MBM. I am, frankly, pre-outraged.”

You can pre-off, Kalle.

3.35pm GMT

Liverpool (4-3-3) Karius; Clyne, Matip, Lovren, Milner; Lallana, Henderson, Wijnaldum; Mane, Origi, Firmino.
Substitutes: Mignolet, Moreno, Klavan, Lucas, Alexander-Arnold, Ejaria, Woodburn.

West Ham (possible 4-2-3-1) Randolph; Nordtveit, Reid, Ogbonna, Cresswell; Noble, Obiang; Antonio, Lanzini, Payet; Ayew.
Substitutes: Adrian, Carroll, Fletcher, Fernandes, Quina, Browne, Pike.

1.45pm GMT

Hello and welcome to live coverage of Liverpool against West Ham at Anfield. All eyes will be on how Liverpool recover – not so much from their 4-3 defeat at Bournemouth, but from the trauma of hearing Steve Cook’s barbaric comments about Loris Karius. The likelihood is that they will take their frustration out on a West Ham defence that isn’t exactly watertight. It’s barely even bustight.

West Ham finished above Liverpool last season. They also did the double and put them out of the FA Cup. A few months later, they are third bottom and Liverpool are third top. West Ham’s struggles have led to entirely ludicrous calls for Slaven Bilic to be sacked, and they will increase if West Ham take a beating today. One thing’s for sure: with these two defences, there is no chance of a goalless draw.

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Published on December 11, 2016 10:24

Chelsea 1-0 West Bromwich Albion: Premier League – as it happened

Diego Costa’s magnificent late goal gave Chelsea a vital victory over an admirable West Brom side

Match report: Chelsea 1-0 West Brom
Conte calls possibility of points deduction ‘a joke’

3.59pm GMT

2.14pm GMT

1.51pm GMT

Peep peep! That’s an excellent win for Chelsea, precisely because they struggled so much against an admirable West Brom. It took a mistake from Garath McAuley and a storming finish from Diego Costa to decide the match, and Chelsea have now won nine league matches in a row. Thanks for your company; please join Nick Ames for Manchester United versus Tottenham Hotspur.

1.49pm GMT

90+3 min Costa runs McAuley and wins a corner. Superb play. He is in immense form at the moment.

1.47pm GMT

90+1 min There will be four added minutes of painful hope for West Brom fans.

1.47pm GMT

90 min Chelsea have looked so dangerous on the counter-attack since going 1-0 up. They really aren’t the kind of team you want to trail. Swansea are the only team to take a point off Chelsea after being behind this season.

1.44pm GMT

88 min Costa’s cut-back is stabbed wide by Fabregas, who then has the brass neck to look outraged when Mike Dean gives a goal-kick. Matic is then booked for a tactical foul.

1.41pm GMT

85 min Cahill’s headed clearance comes to Dawson, who chests the ball down and volleys it into orbit. It wouldn’t sit down for him. Meanwhile, we’ve just seen a replay of Costa’s goal and the touchline celebrations. Both were magnificent. Antonio Conte is an endearing breath of stale air, a reminder of a more passionate past.

1.40pm GMT

84 min West Brom’s final substitution: Hal Robson-Kanu replaces Chris Brunt.

1.39pm GMT

83 min Chelsea have declared at 1-0, like all good Italian sides, and West Brom are enjoying more possession than at any point in the match. So far it has all been in front of the Chelsea back six though.

1.35pm GMT

79 min Substitutions galore: Chelsea bring on Ivanovic for Hazard, and West Brom introduce Chadli and McClean for Phillips and Morrison.

1.34pm GMT

78 min That is cruel on West Brom. One mistake has undone 77 minutes’ immaculate work.

1.34pm GMT

This demonstrated everything that is good about Costa. Fabregas lobbed a nothing ball down the right wing, which seemed to be covered by McAuley. Costa made a virtue of a lost cause, muscling McAuley aside before charging into the area. He still had plenty to do from a tightish angle, and he produced a monstrous rising shot across Foster and into the top corner with his left foot. Great goal.

1.32pm GMT

Diego Costa gives Chelsea the lead with a brilliant goal!

1.31pm GMT

75 min They will probably receive no credit outside their own dressing-room, but this has been an intelligent, quietly heroic performance from West Brom. There is so much to admire about them and their manager.

1.30pm GMT

74 min I don’t know if a goal is coming but a chance certainly is - Chelsea are having more sustained pressure in the final third. Fabregas comes on for Moses, so Chelsea are now playing a 4-2-3-1 with “Cesc” behind Diego Costa.

1.28pm GMT

73 min Fabregas will come on for Chelsea - but only after he’s been show the contents of the coaches’ A4 folder. Can’t have you playing on instinct now!

1.27pm GMT

71 min A draw would take Chelsea top, so 2016 isn’t all bad.

1.26pm GMT

70 min Chelsea have had 72 per cent of possession but only, I think, one shot on target. They have switched to a back four, if you’re into the whole tactics thing.

1.25pm GMT

69 min Matic scrunches a shot well wide from 25 yards.

1.24pm GMT

68 min David Luiz has a long-range shot blocked by Morrison.

1.22pm GMT

67 min Rondon has had a superb game, particularly with his hold-up play. Now he lumbers down the left side of the box and drags an inviting cutback through Luiz’s legs towards the penalty spot. Fletcher, arriving late, looks set for a simple finish from 10 yards only for Cahill to change direction and make a terrific sliding clearance.

1.21pm GMT

66 min Phillips muscles Willian aside and whips a dangerous cross into the box. Rondon gets there first to stab the ball towards goal but Cahill stretches to make an excellent block.

1.20pm GMT

65 min It feels like Chelsea are building some pressure for the first time in the match.

1.20pm GMT

64 min “Oh no!” says JR. “Evans is hurt! Is Lucas Leiva warming up?”

Look, that was a very disappointing dream, tactically speaking.

1.19pm GMT

63 min Antonio Conte makes a change, bringing on Willian for Pedro. He worked hard but achieved little.

1.18pm GMT

61 min The resulting free-kick from Luiz deflects off Hazard in the wall and bounces just wide of the post. Foster had it covered and helped push it wide; Mike Dean missed that and gave a goalkick for the deflection off Hazard. Robbie Savage, who never made a minor mistake in his entire football career, chastises Dean.

1.17pm GMT

60 min Dawson, already booked, clatters into Costa 25 yards from goal. Most refs would have given a second yellow card for that; Mike Dean Esq. is not most refs. I think it was the right decision, just about.

1.16pm GMT

59 min Jonny Evans is injured. He will try to continue but it doesn’t look good. He has been superb today and would be perfect for a team like, say, Manchester United.

1.15pm GMT

58 min Chelsea are going through the stages of frustration. We’ve had denial and confusion; now we are on to anger, with West Brom’s clock manipulation their primary source of internal heat.

1.13pm GMT

57 min If Claudio Yacob started a cult, would it be called a Yac- oh never mind.

1.12pm GMT

56 min Yacob is booked for a tug on Kante.

1.11pm GMT

55 min Courtois races from his line to take Brunt’s inswinger off the head of McAuley. Chelsea need to be careful here. I still think they’ll win, just because, but West Brom have carried a reasonable threat on the counter-attack. They’ve unquestionably been the better team.

1.10pm GMT

54 min “I think ‘you don’t often see foul throws in the Premier League’ is possibly the most-heard phrase in Premier League commentaries,” says Matt Loten.

What about “there are no easy games in this league” or “Mike Dean awards the penalty”?

1.09pm GMT

52 min West Brom are brazenly timetaking at every opportunity, and the Chelsea fans are getting increasingly irked by that. At the moment, Chelsea look both confused and affronted by West Brom’s defensive excellence.

1.07pm GMT

51 min Dawson is booked for an off-the-ball rumble with Costa. There wasn’t much to it; he just dragged him over.

1.05pm GMT

50 min Victor Moses is penalised for a foul throw. There will be banter.

1.04pm GMT

49 min Kante is booked for a late tackle on Dawson.

1.04pm GMT

48 min Fabregas for Matic is the obvious change, though Robbie Savage reckons right midfield Willian should replace left wing-back Alonso. For now Conte is sticking the starting XI, and they have made a fast start to the half.

1.02pm GMT

47 min “While I take umbrage with your assertion that Hazard is the best player in ‘this league’ right now - that clearly is Sanchez - I do thank you for that Southampton clip,” says Kelvin. “That truly was a magnificent goal. The best commentary for me was that Agueroooo moment.”

Yes, I regularly reflect fondly on that moment.

1.01pm GMT

46 min Peep peep! Chelsea begin the second half, kicking from right to left.

12.58pm GMT

Slobwatch

“Am currently wearing a pair of ancient fake Crocks in fashionable grubby orange,” says Anthony Webb. “Can any of my fellow readers out-slob that?”

12.48pm GMT

Half-time reading

Barney Ronay on Riyad Mahrez’s quietly divine performance yesterday.

12.47pm GMT

A 0-0 scoreline is a moral victory for West Brom, who defended immaculately and came closer to scoring than Chelsea. See you in 10 minutes for the second half.

12.46pm GMT

45 min The man of the half has been Glenn Hoddle, who has made umpteen perceptive points of BT Sport. What a waste of a great coach.

12.45pm GMT

44 min Chelsea look a bit befuddled by the way the first half has played out. West Brom have done a job on them.

12.43pm GMT

43 min “I’d be happy to have either Conte or Pulis as the next Scotland manager,” says Simon McMahon. “If they can’t get us third place in the group, no one can.”

Actually, Pulis would be brilliant if he wasn’t, you know, Welsh. If he wasn’t so patriotic, he could be your Jack Charlton.

12.41pm GMT

41 min Chelsea have their first shot on target. David Luiz’s wobbling, dipping free-kick from 25 yards is well held by Foster as he plunges to his right.

12.41pm GMT

41 min “I wish Oscar was playing,” says Sean Boiling, “if only for the commentary that results as the Chelsea forward line exchange a tricky one-two before a goalbound shot is saved by the West Brom keeper, ‘Costa, Oscar, Costa... FOSTER!!’ Imagine a rising pitch, in classic Barry Davies style.”

Or Gerald Sinstadt. This is one of the best commentaries ever.

12.40pm GMT

40 min There are no easy games in “this league”.

12.38pm GMT

38 min Pedro plays a short corner on the left before crossing into the six-yard box. Costa has an impromptu wrestle with Yacob and the two are so preoccupied with trying to manouevre each other into position for a DDT that they don’t notice the ball flash past them and out goal-kick.

12.37pm GMT

36 min Tactically, this is a fascinating game.

12.34pm GMT

34 min Hazard watch: I think he’s okay now. He shuffles infield from the left before blazing high and wide from the left corner of the box. Chelsea continue to bounce off the brick wall that is West Brom’s defence. This has been an immaculate defensive performance thus far.

12.32pm GMT

33 min “Afternoon Rob,” says Simon McMahon. “Chelsea on an eight-game winning streak, yourself on a three-match MBM streak, JR in Illinois managing two consecutive hours without a drink. All this talk of streaks is making me feel like I should be, like, sending you a Snapchat, yeah?”

That joke went straight over my technophobic head.

12.31pm GMT

32 min Hazard limps back on. He’s moving very awkwardly though, like a walker on the final lap of the Olympic 10km.

12.31pm GMT

31 min Hazard is limping off to receive more treatment. I’m tempted to write that it’s a worrying sign for Chelsea, but I don’t want to insult your intelligence.

12.29pm GMT

29 min McAuley is booked for a lunge at Hazard.

12.29pm GMT

28 min Now Chelsea almost take the lead. Kante’s 25-yard shot was going well wide of the far post when it hit Pedro and deflected fractionally wide of the near post with Foster wrongfooted.

12.27pm GMT

26 min Another chance for West Brom. Rondon takes advantage of some Davidluiz defending from David Luiz, robbing him on the left touchline before moving towards the penalty box. Azpilicueta comes across and seems to have everything covered, but Rondon manufactures a low shot through his legs and just wide of the far post. That was a fine effort, though again I suspect Courtois had it covered.

12.25pm GMT

25 min The Chelsea crowd are starting to get frustrated with the lack of goal-based entertainment. It was always going to be like this, such is the quality of West Brom’s defence. You’d still expect Chelsea to win, maybe 2-0, but so far West Brom have done a number on them.

12.23pm GMT

23 min West Brom will be really pleased with this start. Chelsea haven’t had a shot on goal, for all their breezy possession. Tony Pulis is an exceptional defensive coach.

12.21pm GMT

22 min “As Steve Clarke famously said last season, Leicester ‘played three in midfield, Drinkwater in the middle with Kanté either side’ but that doesn’t mean you need to list him twice on your team sheet,” says Sean Boiling. “Lazy journalism, I expect better from The Guardian etc etc”

I hate it when my subtle plagiarism goes unnoticed.

12.20pm GMT

20 min Brunt is booked for a foul on Costa, a slightly soft yellow card that he’ll regret when Mike Dean sends him off for a second yellow card in the 49th minute.

12.19pm GMT

19 min Brunt almost gives West Brom the lead. He slihtered away from Alonso and Matic 25 yards out before hitting a fierce shot that whistled just wide of the left-hand post. I think Courtois had it covered but it was a lovely strike. West Brom lead 4-0 in shots on goal.

12.16pm GMT

15 min Hazard beats Dawson and plays a nice one-two with Costa, but is caught in two minds as the ball comes back to him and ends up choking it through to Foster. He looks very sharp though, as you’d expect of the best attacking player in the Premier League right now. He has recovered brilliantly for the career-threatening apathy that ruled him out of most of last season.

12.13pm GMT

13 min Kante plays a crisp pass to Costa on the left of the box. He dupes Dawson before scooting past him to the byline, and eventually his cutback is cleared by Yacob.

12.11pm GMT

10 min West Brom have done well so far, sitting deep when they don’t have the ball and springing purposefully when they do. Chelsea haven’t created anything yet.

12.06pm GMT

6 min An excellent move from West Brom. Morrison and Fletcher combine to find Rondon, who holds the ball up before laying it off to the onrushing right-back Dawson. His near-post cross finds Morrison, who can’t get over the ball and thumps his header well over the bar. It was a half-chance at best.

12.04pm GMT

5 min Rondon strains his neck muscles to head towards goal, with Courtois making a comfortable save. Rondon was offside anyway.

12.03pm GMT

3 min In a surprising development, West Brom have parked the bus early doors. Not that they have had much choice, as Chelsea have completely dominated possession in the first few minutes.

12.01pm GMT

2 min “Why oh why “lunchtime” kickoff?” asks JR. “Don’t they know what time it is in Illinois? It ain’t lunchtime, I can guarantee you that. And why did I stay up until the wee hours of the morning drinking? And why did I become a Baggies fan anyway? Yeah, I’m aware that sometimes I make poor choices. Anyhow, Thursday night I dreamt that Jonny Evans was injured and they were replacing him with Lucas Leiva. What possible meaning could that dream have? It doesn’t even make any sense.”

Yes, tactically speaking that’s a very poor dream.

12.01pm GMT

1 min Peep peep! West Brom kick off from right to left. They are in black; Chelsea’s colour is blue.

11.57am GMT

“A third MBM in three games?!” says Matt Loten. “How does the Guardian assign these text commentaries, Rob? Are you just really, really bad at rock, paper, scissors, or does Jacob Steinberg own a double-headed coin? Not that I’m complaining - keep up the good work!”

It’s a palpable reflection of my work ethic, talent, humility, knowledge and sensuality.
Nobody else wants to work weekends?

11.53am GMT

Urgent question

Does anyone know where you can get a decent Acai in London or, better still, Hemel Hempstead? Actually, a rancid one would do. I just need one more hit!

11.05am GMT

Chelsea (3-5-3) Courtois; Azpilicueta, David Luiz, Cahill; Moses, Kante, Matic, Kante, Alonso; Pedro, Diego Costa, Hazard.
Substitutes: Begovic, Aina, Ivanovic, Chalobah, Fabregas, Willian, Batshuayi.

West Brom (4-2-3-1) Foster; Dawson, McAuley, Evans, Nyom; Yacob, Fletcher; Brunt, Morrison, Phillips; Rondon.
Substitutes: Palmer; Olsson, Robson-Kanu, Gardner, McClean, Galloway, Chadli.

10.57am GMT

Morning. Two months ago, betting was suspended on Antonio Conte being the next Premier League manager to receive a P45. Since then Chelsea have won every league game, and now those same bookies have them as strongish favourites to win the title. The switch to three at the back, made by Antonio Conte when they were 3-0 down at half-time against Arsenal, has catalysed some hugely impressive victories, and they should expect to extend their winning run to nine league games today.

It might not be straightforward though. The revamped West Brom have had a superb season, reminding us again that Tony Pulis is probably the most underrated manager in British football, and his sides are rarely thrashed. A draw would take Chelsea back to the top of the table, but they will only be satisfied with all three points. Quasimodo predicts a 2-0 win. With some good fixtures coming up, Chelsea could easily extend their run to a club-record 13 consecutive wins by the end of the year. Conte in!

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Published on December 11, 2016 05:51

Leicester City 4-2 Manchester City: Premier League – as it happened

Jamie Vardy ended his goal drought with a clinical hat-trick as Leicester destroyed Manchester City's inept defence on the counter-attack

7.34pm GMT

7.22pm GMT

Peep peep! The end of a fascinating game, in which Leicester shredded a jittery Manchester City on the counter-attack. City had all of the ball, and scored two late goals to make the scoreline vaguely respectable, but at times they were embarrassed. Thanks for your emails, night.

7.19pm GMT

90+3 min Okazaki takes a yellow card for the team by pulling back the advancing Kolarov.

“Football’s just joining in this whole ‘post-truth’ thing, isn’t it?” says Alys Barber-Rogers. “Nothing’s real anymore.”

7.19pm GMT

90+2 min A Leicester substitution: the marvellous Mahrez is replaced by Matty James.

7.18pm GMT

90+1 min There will be four minutes of added time, and Nolito drags a shot not far wide from Sterling’s cut-back.

7.17pm GMT

Nolito finishes smartly from Kolarov’s sharp low cross. Kolarov has had a stinker in the day job as a defender but he has made one and scored one while moonlighting in the Leicester half.

7.15pm GMT

87 min Sterling takes out his frustration on Mahrez’s left shin and is lucky not to be booked. Then Jamie Vardy gets an ovation substitution from Claudio Ranieri, a nice touch at the end of a cathartic evening for him. This is his first hat-trick since he was at Fleetwood, and all three were taken superbly.

7.12pm GMT

84 min “Is John Stones the centre-half equivalent of the Emperor’s new clothes?” says David Wall. “ I seriously doubt that any professional footballer, no matter what position they play, can’t dribble the ball a bit and pass with reasonable accuracy over 10, 20 yards. It’s not the basic skills that sets apart excellent, ball-playing centre-halves, it’s the confidence and judgement to do it at the right times. Stones has too much of the former but almost none of the latter, and he seems to think that it’s all about being comfortable with the ball at your feet (not that his mistakes are responsible for this scoreline but this subject always gets raised when City concede a few goals so I thought I’d do it too).”

City bought potential, essentially. His main flaw is his decision-making, and that should improve with experience, so I get why Guardiola has invested so much in him. There has to be a concern about mental scarring, mind you. At this stage, he is, as Paul Doyle put it so brilliantly, the perfect defender for teams who don’t defend.

7.09pm GMT

Kolarov curls a superb free-kick past Zieler at the near post. It’s not even a consolation goal but it was a terrific strike.

7.08pm GMT

82 min “If he had the players to do so,” begins Christopher Dale, “I’m convinced Guardiola’s ideal system would exclusively involve attacking and defensive midfielders.”

Oh, no question. You could probably have an 11th midfielder in place of the goalkeeper as well.

7.07pm GMT

Stones played a blind pass back to Bravo. Vardy read it, went round Bravo with his first touch and then squeezed a shot in from a ridiculous angle. It hit the far post and was cleared by the covering Sagna, but Hawkeye confirmed the ball was just over the line when he did so. It was a brilliant finish from Vardy, who has taken all three goals clinically.

7.05pm GMT

Jamie Vardy completes a hat-trick after a dreadful mistake from John Stones!

7.04pm GMT

77 min Okazaki replaces Slimani, who played a lovely pass for that game-changing first goal. Okazaki will do more defensive work.

7.04pm GMT

76 min Manchester City continue to push forward with puppy-dog enthusiasm. Yet they still haven’t had a shot on target, and Leicester are reasonably in control defensively.

7.02pm GMT

74 min “Isn’t the problem that Pep is persisting with a way of playing that is clearly not suited to the players at his disposal?” says Shaun Wilkinson. “Far be it from me to suggest arrogance, but maybe he does deserve at least some of the opprobrium he is getting, as (this is just a theory) maybe he is so convinced he is a genius at coming up with systems that he forgets there is a human element to football too. This the first time he is having to come up with plans for a team that is not world class from I to XI, and so far, I don’t think you can say he is passing that test.”

That’s true. You could argue that, in a sane world, a manager would not be judged until he is managing his team. But it’s true, in the modern world of football manager you must learn to cut all types of cloth. It’s all moot because, for richer or poorer, Guardiola will never change.

6.59pm GMT

73 min Breaking news: Pep’s trainers aren’t Converse (with thanks to Anthony Webb).

6.57pm GMT

71 min I think Leicester are over the worst, and they are starting to look dangerous on the counter-attack again. Manchester City’s domination is sterility itself.

6.55pm GMT

69 min Nolito comes on for Gundogan, replacing him in the centre of City’s 0-10-0 formation.

6.55pm GMT

68 min Fernando is booked for what looked a good tackle on Simpson. Manchester City, for all their possession, have had no shots on target. Somebody is going to overdose on schadenfreude any minute now.

6.54pm GMT

67 min “Presuming Leicester don’t score again today, then every home team in the PL today will have scored 3 goals,” says Sean Revill (and many others). “Can you think of any other occasions where similar trends have occurred?”

My mates and I all scored 0 on 12 consecutive away trips to JJs Nightclub in the summer of 1994, if that counts.

6.53pm GMT

66 min Leicester are having a good mini-spell, which they needed if only to allow their defenders to imbibe some oxygen.

6.50pm GMT

64 min Slimani walks past a couple of City defenders, who don’t seem perturbed in the slightest, before hitting a low 20-yard shot that is comfortably saved by the sprawling Bravo.

6.49pm GMT

63 min “I barely understand what football has done to me these days,” says Matt Dony. “Yes, I know Leicester had ‘The Fairytale’, and it was refreshing to see an unfancied team win the league, but I really, really hate Huth. He puts me off the whole Leicester team, and i was disappointed to see him with a winners’ medal. That said, it’s sad to see any team go from league winners to potential relegation so quickly. I hope they turn it around and stay up, and taking points off City might just help Liverpool (I know, I know...). I’ve never been a fan of Pep, I never liked the sanctimonious Barca ‘Mes Que Un Club’ tiki-taka-or-nothing attitude. But suddenly I feel sorry for him. I’m a ball of contradictions, and it’s all football’s fault.”

6.49pm GMT

62 min Another near miss for City. Zabaleta pitter-patters past two defenders and curls a left-footed shot that deflects off King and spins fractionally wide of the far post.

6.47pm GMT

Pep Guardiola really pushing boundaries with this new false goalkeeper position.

6.45pm GMT

58 min A double City substitution: Sterling and Yaya Toure replace Navas and Iheanacho. So City are now playing a kind of 0-5-5-0.

6.44pm GMT

57 min Stones’s superb pass to De Bruyne sparks a good City move. Eventually Iheanacho tees up Gundogan, who drags a low shot this far wide from 17 yards.

6.43pm GMT

55 min Pep Guardiola is wearing trainers, Converse I think.

6.41pm GMT

54 min De Bruyne’s devastating pass puts Iheanacho through on goal, but he’s flagged offside just before Zieler saves his shot. It was just about the right decision.

6.39pm GMT

52 min De Bruyne’s dangerous cross is punched away by Zieler, then Navas’s volley is blocked.

6.39pm GMT

51 min It’s an absurd thing to say, but Leicester might need a fourth here. The game feels so open now and City look menacing with every attack.

6.37pm GMT

50 min A triple chance for City! Zabaleta and De Bruyne have shots blocked, the second bringing an optimistic appeal for handball, and then De Bruyne drags his shot just wide from 15 yards.

6.36pm GMT

48 min City (Manchester) continue to endure most of the possession - they have had 76 per cent of it in this match, and bugger all good it has done them. This is vaguely reminiscent of Bayern 7-0 Barcelona three years ago, not that Pep Guardiola was involved in that.

6.33pm GMT

46 min Leicester begin the second half, counter-attacking from right to left.I have no idea what formation City are now playing, I think it might be a 3-4-2-1. What the hell, we’ll call it a 10.

6.32pm GMT

“In response to Johnathan, I would suggest that we all give Pep at least a season to acclimatise to the idiosyncrasies of ‘this league’,” says Matt Loten, demonstrating a despicable level of common sense. “What I think we are seeing, though, is that he hasn’t quite worked out when and where to rotate his squad in a more competitive league. I’m not saying they’re on the same level, but his travails do remind me somewhat of Rafa Benitez’s Liverpool teams in the Premier League, which were never able to mount a sustained challenge due to a lack of continuity. Rotation has its advantages, and I can understand the temptation when there is no winter break and a surplus of competitions, but the sheer intensity of this division makes it very difficult to pick and choose where you are going to deploy your best XI, and the opposition will exploit a lack of rhythm.”

You say that, and I agree up to a point, but Fergie was the biggest rotater of all. He didn’t always get it right but his ability to calculate the risks of rotation on a case-by-case basis was incredible. It’s one of the most important skills for a manager these days. As for Guardiola, he clearly needs time as he is essentially working with another manager’s defence, a defence that is unsuited to his, erm, brand of football. When he develops his team, they will be formidable. The way some folk talk about this league, you’d think the Brazil 1970 team would have finished 12th in Division One, behind Coventry on goal difference.

6.22pm GMT

Riyad love-in “As that 50-yard high ball was dropping toward Mahrez I saw who it was and knew he’d do what he did: his pass was perfectly controlled, played on the half-volley with perfect weight—and at the perfect angle for Vardy to run onto,” says Wilson Beuys. “It was like someone had rolled the ball to him in a practice match. Many players would’ve struggled to bring it down, taken a touch, slowed the whole move down... is there anyone else who could’ve played such a sublime first-time pass under those circumstances? Iniesta? Zidane? Stan Bowles?”

Carlos Kaiser?

6.19pm GMT

It seems Leicester aren’t quite finished with miracle-working. They were 3-0 up by the halfway point of the first half, with Jamie Vardy scoring his first goals since September and Riyad Mahrez reminding everyone of his velvet genius. See you in 10 minutes for the second half.

6.17pm GMT

45+2 min Slimani misses a glorious chance to make it 4-0. The wonderful Mahrez waved an insouciant pass down the right to free Albrighton. His superb cross found Slimani unmarked, six yards out, yet he contrived to put his header wide of the far post.

6.15pm GMT

45 min If City lose today, they will probably be seven points behind Chelsea this time tomorrow. In a sane world, Guardiola would have time to build the team he wants. He won’t get that time of course, and there are already signs that he might struggle to handle our often infantile media coverage.

6.14pm GMT

43 min There’s more wrestling in the box from a City corner. Both sides were guilty, the referee gave nothing, and Pep Guardiola has a wry smile on his face.

6.13pm GMT

42 min Kolarov’s sharp cut back from the left finds Fernando, whose first-time sidefoot is headed away by King.

6.12pm GMT

41 min “Is it too soon,” begins Johnathan, “to ask if Pep Guardiola can only do it in leagues where there’s only one other club with a realistic chance of challenging his team for the title?”

Not sure. But I do know that the phrase “this league”, delivered in a self-satisfied manner, will be used like never before in discussion of this game.

6.12pm GMT

39 min City are having loads of the ball now but Leicester look relatively comfortable in defence.

6.09pm GMT

37 min That’s a hilarious stat on BT Sport. Manchester City Leicester 222-53 on passes in this match. A slightly more significant stat is available at the top of this page.

6.04pm GMT

33 min The score is Counter-attack 3-0 Tiki-taka. Somewhere in England, an 87-year-old man called Charles Hughes is experiencing sustained pleasure.

6.03pm GMT

32 min De Bruyne’s inswinging cross-shot from the left is punched away extravagantly by Zieler. It was a comfortable save really.

6.01pm GMT

31 min Gundogan shanks a half-volley from the edge of the box but it breaks to De Bruyne, who wins a corner - from which Kolarov almost gets one back. De Bruyne’s excellent inswinger was flicked off by Fernando and headed wide of the far post by Kolarov. He had very little reaction time and couldn’t steer it on target.

5.59pm GMT

29 min City are exhibiting many symptoms of shock. All bets are off in this game. It could easily end 6-0 or 3-4. City try to play the ball out and Fernando almost passes it straight out for a corner. Unless you support Manchester City, this is very, very funny. They are an absolute shambles!

5.57pm GMT

27 min Kolarov drives a shot high over the bar from 25 yards.

5.57pm GMT

26 min “3-0?” says Hubert O’Hearn. “Wow. Crisis baton to Pep Guardiola!”

He’s going to really, really enjoy meeting his friends from the press after this game.

5.55pm GMT

24 min “When did English football commentators start referring to wet pitches as ‘greasy’?” says Allan Castle. “It’s off-putting.”

It could be worse: Mahrez tip-toes seductively across the moist surface, etc.

5.54pm GMT

23 min Manchester City are the definitive shower! Mahrez runs infield from the right, past a couple of token challenges, and tries to place a curler into the far corner. Bravo springs to his right to make a good save. Leicester are savaging City on the counter-attack.

5.52pm GMT

This is another splendid goal. Fuchs drilled an angled 60-yard pass to Mahrez on the right. His first touch was just wonderful, a velvet pass to put Vardy through on goal. He went smoothly round Bravo to score. Mahrez has had a quiet season but he has shown his undoubted genius today with two beautiful first touches to create Vardy’s goals.

5.51pm GMT

If Leicester really concentrate on the counter-attack - which they aren’t doing at the moment - this could be over by half-time. And they’ve scored again!

5.50pm GMT

20 min “Hi Rob,” says Graham Randall. “Apparently I know nothing. Cheers.”

Welcome to my humble abode.

5.49pm GMT

19 min Simpson is booked for a sliding foul on Kolarov down the left. City are starting to build some pressure, without doing anything particularly impressive.

5.48pm GMT

17 min “1990 is back,” says Ben Fitzpatrick. “Michael Oliver has tram lines in his hair. I thought Clattenberg was meant to be ‘the cool one’?”

You think that’s cool? You should see Jon Moss’s record collection mate. He only ever buys Rough Trade records. Won’t put anything else in his ears.

5.46pm GMT

16 min “Even Pep surely must see Yaya Toure offers more than Fernando!!” says Nick Parmenter. “Has Fernando ever played well for City???”

They are completely different players aren’t they? I’m not at all convinced by his 3-2-4-1 system, not with these players, but I can understand why he played Fernando.

5.45pm GMT

15 min De Bruyne’s low cross shot is almost turned in by the stretching Iheanacho, though he was offside.

5.45pm GMT

13 min I think City have switched to a 4-2-3-1, with Zabaleta at right-back, Sagna in the centre and Gundogan alongside Fernando in midfield ... and I’m boring myself.

5.43pm GMT

12 min That should have been 3-0. A corner on the left was played short and eventually driven beyond the far post. Huth headed it down and Slimani, who got to the ball first on the corner of the six-yard box, volleyed over the bar.

5.41pm GMT

11 min Here’s Pep’s take on matters.

5.40pm GMT

9 min “Hey Rob,” says JR. “I may not know much but I know that this game ain’t ending 1-0. Well, before I hit send it became 2-0 so I’ll amend my statement to say this game ain’t ending 2-0. Looking like 3-6 or something is likely.”

5.38pm GMT

7 min Mahrez almost wriggles through the defence to make it 3-0! City aren’t a shambles at the back; they are much, much worse.

5.36pm GMT

A long throw from the left broke to Slimani in the box. He laid it back invitingly for King, who whipped an insouciant rising shot through Bravo’s right hand and into the net. I think King might have given Bravo the eyes, shaping to curl it into the far corner before pulling it to the other side of goal. Either way, Bravo might have benefitted from a stronger right wrist.

5.35pm GMT

It’s 2-0 to the champions!

5.34pm GMT

That was a fine goal. Kolarov’s hoof forward was headed back by Huth. Mahrez cushioned the dropping ball beautifully to Slimani, who slipped a nice pass between Stones and Kolarov for Vardy. He scooted in front of Kolarov and drove a precise first-time shot into the far corner.

5.32pm GMT

Jamie Vardy gives Leicester the lead with his first goal in three months!

5.31pm GMT

2 min Turns out City are playing the usual 3-2-4-1, with Zabaleta in midfield, so I’ve amended the team news below and we’ll pretend I had it right all along.

5.30pm GMT

1 min Peep peep! City kick off from right to left. They are in black, Leicester are in blue.

5.20pm GMT

“This has disaster written all over it,” writes Graham Randall. “Cannot understand why Okazaki isn’t playing. With the weakness of the central midfield two and playing two wingers, need one of the forwards to drop deep and do a lot of defensive work. Neither Slimani or Vardy will do that. And don’t get me started on rolling out the same back four. Again. It worked last season but didn’t strengthen at all in the summer. Too many wingers and forwards.”

It’s easy to say this from afar, in my underpants, but I find it hard to comprehend that any Leicester fan could be annoyed by anything this season. I thought the glow of such a staggering achievement would last a lot longer.

5.19pm GMT

The rain in Leicester verges on the biblical, which should add a nice primal element to an already intriguing match.

4.54pm GMT

A bit of pre-match reading

4.51pm GMT

Leicester City (4-4-2) Zieler; Simpson, Huth, Morgan, Fuchs; Mahrez, Amartey, King, Albrighton; Vardy, Slimani.
Substitutes: Hamer, Chilwell, James, Mendy, Gray, Musa, Okazaki.

Manchester City (3-2-4-1) Bravo; Sagna, Stones, Kolarov; Zabaleta, Fernando; Navas, Gundogan, Silva, De Bruyne; Iheanacho.
Substitutes: Caballero, Sterling, Nolito, Sane, Clichy, Toure, Adarabioyo.

12.52pm GMT

Good evening. It’s a reflection of Pep Guardiola’s domestic dominance that today’s visit to Leicester is his first league match against the defending champions since 2 May 2009. Barcelona won 6-2 at Real Madrid that day, all but securing the first of Guardiola’s six league titles in Spain and Germany. The seventh may not come as easily as the smugnescenti assumed when he moved to Manchester.

Guardiola’s City have won only four of the last 14 games in all competitions, and sit four points behind Chelsea after last Saturday’s marvellous match. They will also be without their most important player, Fernandinho, for the next three matches, and Sergio Aguero for the next four. Guardiola’s intriguing 3-2-4-1 system has not yet had the desired effect.

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Published on December 10, 2016 11:22

Watford 3-2 Everton: Premier League – as it happened

Stefano Okaka scored twice on his home debut as Watford came from behind to deservedly beat Everton in an eventful game

2.50pm GMT

Match report, get your match report.

2.23pm GMT

That’s it! A deserved win for Watford, despite a fierce late assault from Everton. Stefano Okaka scored twice, the first an exquisite effort, and Watford move up to seventh in the table. Thanks for your company, a match report will appear here shortly. Bye!

2.20pm GMT

90+2 min Watford’s final change: Christian Kabasele replaces Juan Zuniga.

2.18pm GMT

90 min Deulofeu has a goal disallowed, I think because Everton took their free-kick too quickly. Meanwhile, replays shows that Britos put his hands all over Valencia in the area a couple of minutes ago; that could easily have been a penalty.

2.17pm GMT

89 min Watford are a bag of nerves. Lukaku escapes Prodl on the left of the box and drills a low cross-shot that goes through the hands of Gomes and right across the face of goal. It would have been an open goal had anybody been following up.

2.15pm GMT

88 min Lukaku sizes up his hat-trick from 25 yards ... and chokes a miserable effort straight through to Gomes.

2.15pm GMT

Everton have a sniff. A corner was half cleared to Lennon, who curled a good ball in from the left to find Lukaku. He was in a criminal amount of space on the six-yard line and headed firmly into the corner.

2.11pm GMT

83 min Ronald Koeman adjusts the deckchairs on the Titanic, bringing on Aaron Lennon for Leighton Baines. Seconds later, Deulofeu’s dangerous near-post cross towards Lukaku takes a touch off a defender and goes just wide of the far post. It doesn’t matter as Lukaku was offside.

2.09pm GMT

82 min The tireless Holebas skips over a half-arsed tackle from Williams and bursts into the box before going down under challenge from Coleman. It looked fair enough, just shoulder to shoulder, and Anthony Taylor doesn’t give a penalty.

2.08pm GMT

81 min Another Watford change: Ben Watson replaces the excellent Okaka, who scored his first goals for Watford to set up probable victory.

2.07pm GMT

79 min Deulofeu slithers brilliantly between two defenders in the box and finds Barkley, who makes room for a shot that is deflected behind for a corner. Gomes claims that easily.

2.06pm GMT

78 min “Is there still time to throw Scottish breakfast into the mix?” says Matt Loten. “I’m very partial to a nice tattie scone, though of course I wouldn’t be foolish enough to include it at the expense of the hash browns, as some of the cafes round my part of Edinburgh feel the need to do.”

Spud, they’re ma sheets!

2.05pm GMT

77 min A good ball from Deulofeu, Everton’s liveliest attacker, finds Valencia in the box and he wins a corner.

2.04pm GMT

76 min There could be a red card in this game, because a few Everton players have started to take their frustration out on passing shinbones.

2.02pm GMT

75 min Holebas is booked for perceived timewasting.

2.01pm GMT

74 min Everton’s only chance here is if Watford bring on Marouane Fellaini.

2.00pm GMT

71 min “Afternoon Rob,” says Simon McMahon. “You say ‘breakfast means breakfast’, but is that FULL ENGLISH BREAKFAST or continental? I think your readers have a right to know.”

Luckily, with my surname I’m eligible for an Irish breakfast.

1.59pm GMT

70 min Another Everton change: Enner Valencia replaces Kevin Mirallas. Ronald Koeman usually has the expression of a man whose undercarriage is being lightly tickled but at the moment he has a face like thunder.

1.56pm GMT

68 min “I’m not one to overreact,” says Gary Naylor, “but Everton are in big trouble. Really big trouble.” I agree they look mediocre but it’s hardly 1993-94 or 1997-98.

1.54pm GMT

67 min Deulofeu slams a low near-post to Lukaku, whose attempted flick is blocked splendidly by the sliding Prodl.

1.53pm GMT

65 min Ross Barkley comes on to replace Idrissa Gueye. Everton have been really poor today.

1.52pm GMT

Stekelenburg’s save is in vain because Okaka has scored from the resulting corner! Holebas on the right curled it to the near post, where Okaka got in front of Barry and flicked a header through Stekelenburg’s right hand. Watford have destroyed Everton at set pieces in the last five minutes, and they are set for their first win over Everton since 1987.

1.51pm GMT

63 min Britos almost makes it 3-1 from another set piece. Capoue curled a big, booming free-kick beyond the defence for Britos, who came round the back and planted a good downward header across goal. Stekelenburg reacted superbly to dive to his left and push the ball over the bar.

1.50pm GMT

62 min Baines and Amrabat collide as they jump for a high ball, with both ending up on the floor. Baines is booked.

1.48pm GMT

61 min A Watford substitution: Adlene Guedioura is replaced by Daryl Janmaat.

1.47pm GMT

Second time lucky for Prodl, who heads decisively past Stekelenburg after a beautiful dipping free-kick by Holebas on the left. Watford lead deservedly on the balance of the whole game, if not necessarily the second half.

1.46pm GMT

59 min Deulofeu, who was apparently booked for kicking the ball away just before the Watford goal, has a contretemps with Capoue. Anthony Taylor tells them both to grow up.

1.45pm GMT

58 min Barry fouls Zuniga down the Watford right. Guedioura’s deep ball in is headed over from 10 yards by the centre-back Prodl. That was a decent chance.

1.43pm GMT

56 min Watford haven’t got going since half-time and at the moment Everton look the much likelier scorers.

1.39pm GMT

51 min Baines has a goal disallowed for offside against Coleman, whose cross set up the chance.

1.38pm GMT

51 min “Regarding London’s feelings reminded me of a truly dreadful joke,” begins Robert Dobson. “’Angb. That’s bang out of order.’ Sorry. It’s that type of game.”

1.37pm GMT

50 min A bit of a nothing start to the second half. Deulofeu looks lively but his crossing has been poor.

1.37pm GMT

49 min “Behrami puked on the pitch,” says JR in Illinois. “They showed a nice close-up of him vomiting. Guess I am going to put off breakfast for a while after seeing that.” Breakfast means breakfast.

1.34pm GMT

47 min “Lukaku is a £28M player, but that’s because he is a £50M running on to the ball and a £6M player with his back to goal,” says Gary Naylor. “The only player who can thread the ball to him in the channels (Barry’s ball was a bit of a punt that won’t work very often) is Barkley, but he’s on the naughty step for not tackling back. So...”

1.32pm GMT

46 min Peep peep! Watford begin the second half, kicking from left to right.

1.32pm GMT

There’s a delay to the start of the second half while Behrami is treated on the field. Not sure what happened there but he is going to try to run it off.

1.21pm GMT

“Evening Rob,” says Tom Hopkins. “I’m afraid I’m a day late for the traditional ‘reading the MBM from an annoyingly fabulous location’ e-mail, as I’m currently at Hong Kong airport on the way back from Ishigaki Island which I can confirm is perfectly lovely. Wall-to-wall Christmas music a little incongruous though. I am in no way looking forward to being back in London tomorrow.”

You’ve really hurt London’s feeling there, mate. Bang out of order.

1.18pm GMT

Peep peep! An enjoyable half ends level, with Watford responding superbly to Romelo Lukaku’s soft opening goal. Stefano Okaka’s balletic flick brought them level, and they could have taken the lead after that. See you in 10 minutes for more hot football action.

1.16pm GMT

45 min “Just had a look and indeed Barry comes out top for PL cautions, followed by Lee Bowyer, Kevin Davis and Paul Scholes,” says Henry Lee. “Barry has amassed 117 yellows in the PL, 18 more than Bowyer.”

Yeah but how many chairs has he thrown in McDonald’s?

1.14pm GMT

44 min Everton needs half time here, and not just because of the strikingly high quality of the Vicarage Road Gatorade.

1.13pm GMT

43 min “For some reason, Rob, I’m still here,” says Matt Loten. “It’s not been too bad, in all honesty. Can we talk about Lukaku for a second? That’s eight for the season now, and eighty-six in all competitions since he moved to England. However, when I watch him play, even when he scores, I can’t help but feel Mourinho was right to move him on. His first touch is too often suspect, and he doesn’t hold the ball up nearly consistently enough for a striker of his size and strength. I suppose he’s worth £30m for his ability to get 20 goals a season alone, but considering that’s about as much as Chelsea paid for Costa, I know who I’d rather have in my side.”

Yes, I agree. He’s still young enough to develop into the beast everyone assumed he would become, but I’m not sure he has the necessary mongrel for that to happen. You’d worry about selling him though, because he has the potential to make you look very silly.

1.12pm GMT

41 min Another chance for Watford. Guedioura’s lofted angled pass from a narrow position goes over the head of Coleman at the far post and Deeney - possibly unsighted - makes a complete mess of a sidefooted volley from six yards, hitting it into the ground and wide of the near post.

1.10pm GMT

37 min Watford deserve that goal. The front two of Deeney and Okaka are both capable of moments of clodhoppery, yet they have also produced a series of lovely flicks, dragbacks and backheels. Stereotypes be damned. Okaka’s goal was almost balletic.

1.07pm GMT

Sound the good-touch-for-a-big-man klaxon: this is a brilliant finish from Stefano Okaka! Guedioura ran at Funes Mori down the right and curled an excellent, fast low cross towards the near post, where Okaka got away from the sleeping Williams and flicked the ball deftly behind his standing leg and into the net. Actually, it wasn’t even his standing leg - both feet were in the air as he flicked the ball past Stekelenburg, which makes it an even better goal.

1.05pm GMT

36 min “NBC just stated that Gareth Barry is the most cautioned player in the history of the Premier League (?)” says/asks Henry Lee. That sounds fair enough, given the way he plays and the number of games he has played.

1.05pm GMT

35 min Holebas’s long throw is headed on by Deeney at the near post, but Guedioura can’t get any power on his header and Stekelenburg makes a comfortable save.

1.00pm GMT

30 min Watford are a little unlucky to trail in what has been a decent game, especially considering the poor form of both teams going into the match.

12.58pm GMT

27 min Anyone out there?

12.56pm GMT

26 min Watford have responded very well to going behind, the affrontometer cranked up to the max. Okaka plays a clever flick to Holebas, whose cross deflects back onto his shin and out for a goalkick.

12.55pm GMT

24 min Amrabat scorches past Baines and Funes Mori before pulling the ball back to Deeney just inside the box. His first touch is heavier than one of Marty McFly’s problems, however, and the danger passes.

12.53pm GMT

21 min Watford win their first corner, which is swung in from the left by Guedioura. Britos gets in front of Williams at the near post and heads over.

12.51pm GMT

20 min A good response from Watford. Behrami feeds a ball into Deeney, who shields it on the edge of the box and then drags it behind him to find Okaka. He opens up his body but places a sidefooted shot too close to Stekelenburg, who gets to his left to make a comfortable save.

12.48pm GMT

Everton take the lead out of nothing. Barry, just inside the Watford half, curled a speculative pass in behind the defence. Britos and Prodl were dreaming of a white Christmas, and Lukaku just ran through to slip the ball first time between Gomes’s legs.

12.45pm GMT

14 min This is a good spell for Watford. After a nice move, Capoue’s low ball across goal is cleared vitally by the stretching Funes Mori.

12.43pm GMT

13 min Guedioura’s cross from the right is headed on by Deeney to Capoue. He controls the ball on the edge of the box, waits for it to bounce up and then smashes a shot out for a throw-in. It’s the thought that counts.

12.40pm GMT

9 min An Everton corner is played short to Deulofeu, whose awkward cross is punched away in a slightly weird manner by Gomes at the near post. He was under no pressure and could probably have caught the ball without any trouble.

12.37pm GMT

7 min Guedioura is booked for a studs-up tackle on Gueye.

12.36pm GMT

6 min Deulofeu’s cross bounces off a Watford defender, and looks set to fall perfectly for Mirallas before Prodl reacts smartly to lump the ball out of danger.

12.35pm GMT

5 min Capoue plays a beautiful no-look pass infield to Holebas, who sprays his cross straight out for a goalkick.

12.34pm GMT

4 min “On the subject of Koeman and his style, I’m somewhat bemused by his failure to draw anything of note from the attacking talents of Barkley, Lukaku, Deulofeu, Mirallas and Lennon,” says Matt Loten. “Bolasie might have been almost as big a waste of money as the unfathomably overrated Moussa Sissoko, but there is a plethora of attacking talent in this side, and last season, despite the clear failings of the Martinez era, I would have happily tuned in to watch Everton at any opportunity. This season I’ve had more entertainment trying to file the cat’s nails.”

12.33pm GMT

3 min This match has started with a striking lack of intensity. The levels of competence haven’t been stratospheric either.

12.30pm GMT

2 min “Afternoon, Rob,” says Nick Grundy. “Good to know Bolasie is out - however, while I know I’m a bit behind the times, haven’t Everton been without Marouane Fellaini for quite a while now?”

Didn’t you see his match-saving cameo last weekend?

12.30pm GMT

1 min Peep peep! Everton, in blue, kick off from left to right. Watford are in yellow. It’s a murky, mucky afternoon in Watford.

12.19pm GMT

Clint Eastwood department

“Not sure which game Gary Naylor was watching last week,” says Keiran Betteley. “It was pretty turgid from both sides in the first half, enlivened only by Stekelenberg’s brain fart, but Everton hammered United in the second and but for De Gea could have had a comfortable victory.”

12.10pm GMT

An email! “Everton were pathetic for much of the match last Sunday against the worst Manchester United XI I’ve seen in 20 years,” writes Gary Naylor. “There were a lot of rumblings in the crowd about Koeman’s commitment to the cause, his typically Dutch er... ‘Sod You!’ demeanour not helping with fans who are, dare I say, sentimental about the club, something Moyes and Martinez understood from day one. I don’t care for 4-4-2 as a tactical formation, but it’s also a state of mind, and I think we need it today. A supine 1-0 defeat and the Christmas spirit will absent itself from Goodison, with Arsenal and Liverpool next up.”

Yes, Koeman’s teams tend to be quiet achievers, which is perfect for some clubs but maybe not Everton. He’s almost the Dutch Roy Hodgson. He needs time, though; it’s scandalous to judge anyway after half a season.

12.01pm GMT

Most people know the story of the 1984 FA Cup final between Everton and Watford. Many forget that, either side of that match at Wembley, they took part in two storming games at Vicarage Road: Watford 4-4 Everton and Watford 4-5 Everton.

11.57am GMT

Talking of golden ages, these books on 1980s Everton and Watford are both tremendous. Buy an early Christmas present for the one you love: you.

11.36am GMT

Watford (4-3-3) Gomes; Zuniga, Prodl, Britos, Holebas; Guedioura, Behrami, Capou; Amrabat, Deeney, Okaka.
Substitutes: Pantilimon, Kabasele, Janmaat, Watson, Success, Sinclair, Ighalo.

Everton (4-3-3) Stekelenburg; Coleman, Williams, Funes Mori, Baines; Gueye, Barry, McCarthy; Deulofeu, Lukaku, Mirallas.
Substitutes: Joel, Jagielka, Holgate, Cleverley, Barkley, Lennon, Valencia.

9.21am GMT

Morning. Any meeting of Watford and Everton will always bring back memories of the 1984 FA Cup final: Andy Gray’s infamous goal, Michael Barrymore’s comedy racism (no longer on YouTube, which meant it didn’t really happen). Both teams aren’t quite replicating their 1980s golden age, but they are in relatively rude health: Watford are enjoying a second consecutive season in the top flight for the first time since the days when The A-Team was primetime television, and Everton have been the best of the rest for much of the past 15 years.

They are in poor form at the moment, however, with only one win in their last 10, and Watford is not the easiest place to go on a mucky Saturday in December. They will be without Yannick Bolasie, who is out for the rest of the season, and Marouane Fellaini.

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Published on December 10, 2016 06:23

What can England do to trigger a third-Test fightback against India?

Tourists are 1-0 down and must get their selection right on a seam-friendly wicket in Mohali to give themselves the best chance of levelling the series

Last time the quandary was how to accommodate Jimmy Anderson; this time it is Stuart Broad who is posing the questions … or at least some of them. Alastair Cook sounded doubtful when asked if Broad’s injured foot will have recovered in time for the third Test but in a way his enforced absence may make life easier for the selectors because they could simply bring back Chris Woakes. However the perceived wisdom is that conditions in Mohali are the most likely to suit seam and if England are ever to revert to four seamers then this is the place they will do so. Therefore if Broad is fit then surely Woakes will replace Zafar Ansari. The Surrey man is a talented cricketer with an admirable attitude and it is too soon to write him off but he was a passenger in the second Test. Cook barely trusted him with the ball in the first innings – he took none for 45 from 12 overs – and did not bowl him at all in the second due to a back injury, while he managed only four runs. If Broad is not fit then Ansari’s poor performances raise further questions: do they stick to three spinners and bring in the 39-year-old Gareth Batty – a better bowler than Ansari in any case – or ask Steven Finn or Jake Ball to come in cold? Dan Lucas

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Published on November 21, 2016 03:31

India v England, second Test: day five – as it happened

India’s spinners blew England away to secure a 246-run victory just after lunch on the final day

7.49am GMT

Bright and early, here’s Vic Marks’ report from the final day.

7.07am GMT

This India victory was almost cliched. They won the toss on a wearing pitch, they got runs from Kohli (167 and 81) and wickets from Ashwin (match figures of 59.5-17-119-8). They are seriously hard to beat in these conditions. Scratch that, they are seriously hard to draw with in these conditions. Thanks for your company, bye.

7.03am GMT

That’s a thumping for England, yet they come out of the match with a fair bit of credit. At one stage it looked like they might lose inside three days. India were the better side and fully deserved victory. This could be the start of a miserable few weeks for England; all eyes will be on the pitch and the toss at Mohali when the third Test begins on Saturday. Some tosses are bigger than others, and this one will be huge.

7.01am GMT

“What larks today,” says Guy Hornsby. “I’m bloody knackered. A very Monday feeling to this Test match, none more so than for Duckett and Ansari. You’d hope they’re able to come back from this, rather than be another footnote, a ‘whatever happened to’ section.”

I fear Ansari will be filed alongside Ian Blackwell. Duckett should be back.

7.00am GMT

Jayant Yadav finishes the match with the aid of DRS. Anderson played defensively outside the line of a ball that went onto hit the pad, and though it was given not out by Kumar Dharmasena, replays showed it was hitting leg stump. India have won the second Test!

6.57am GMT

Broad is out, doesn’t matter how. Might be LBW or caught, we’re not sure. The confusion gives Broad a chance to review, but I suspect this will be out. Replays show he missed an attempted sweep and was hit on the boot in front of off and middle by a ball that would have gone on to hit the stumps.

6.54am GMT

97th over: England 154-8 (Bairstow 34, Broad 1) In other news, there was a bit of a rumble at Adelaide airport this morning involving the South African team and Australian media. Here’s a statement from South Africa’s team manager.

“Some guy on Cricinfo at the start of the Test, said that this is a 450, 250, 150 dec, 150 pitch,” says Ian Forth. “Uncannily accurate. Question is would these scores have been the same if England had batted first?” Answer is no. It would have been a great match though.

6.49am GMT

96th over: England 148-8 (Bairstow 29, Broad 0) Bairstow slams Jayant through the covers for four. This cameo from Bairstow, who has scored more in 35 deliveries than Hameed did in 144, is ruining a good stat about England’s slowest run-rates in a completed Test innings.

6.46am GMT

95th over: England 143-8 (Bairstow 24, Broad 0) It’s over; I knew it would end this way.

6.44am GMT

Ansari has gone, bowled by a bit of a grubber from Ashwin. He has had a desperate Test, and it wouldn’t be entirely surprising if that is his last contribution as a Test cricketer.

6.41am GMT

94th over: England 142-7 (Bairstow 23, Ansari 0) Jayant Yadav starts after lunch to Ansari, who is beaten by a beauty that rips past the edge. I don’t think Ansari will last long here. A maiden.

6.25am GMT

It’ll be interesting to see what team England pick for the third Test in Mohali, which begins in a few hours’ time. Buttler for Duckett looks inevitable, and perhaps Woakes for Broad. I’d also bring in Batty for Ansari. Forget all this stuff about left-handers and right-handers; Batty is simply a better bowler.

That said, if they are ever going to play four seamers it’ll be in Mohali, which usually has a bit of pace and bounce, so they could play Woakes and Broad. Assuming Broad is fit, this would be my team.

6.01am GMT

93rd over: England 142-7 (Bairstow 23, Ansari 0) The superb Mohammed Shami will bowl the last over before lunch. Bairstow helps himself to two more boundaries, one to fine leg and one to third man. He’s inverting the V. Anyway, that’s the end of an outstanding session for India, who have all but secured victory: they took five wickets in 33.4 overs. See you in half an hour for the last rites.

5.56am GMT

92nd over: England 134-7 (Bairstow 15, Ansari 0) Bairstow sweeps Jayant for four more before being hit on the glove by a beastly lifter. This is now the minefield we expected, and the next two deliveries keep very low.

“England have played admirably well in this innings but will rue what happened on Day 2,” says Mukundhan Kidambi. “This result was decided then.” Indeed. That and the toss. Given India’s superiority in these conditions, it would have been a helluva game had England won the toss.

5.52am GMT

91st over: England 129-7 (Bairstow 10, Ansari 0) “In over 86, Russell the described a peach from Jayant,” says Scott Poynting. “Just as your American OBOer (can’t find the over) predicted the other day : a Jayant Peach!”

If only he’d bowled it to James Anderson.

5.49am GMT

When Shami tries for that magic reverse inswinger, Rashid pings him through midwicket for four to get off the mark. England are going down in a blaze of boundaries. Okay, three boundaries. And they are certainly going down, because Rashid is out. He tried to flick a short ball over the slips and edged it straight through to Saha.

5.45am GMT

90th over: England 125-6 (Bairstow 10, Rashid 0) A vicious delivery from Jayant roars at Bairstow and ends up in the hands of gully. India appeal but I think it just hit him on the thigh. Bairstow responds with consecutive boundaries, a sweep and a hustle through midwicket.

“Good of you to attempt to distract us from this sorry and swift end,” says Ian Copestake. “It was a good effort, Smyth.” We’ll always have Auckland.

5.41am GMT

89th over: England 117-6 (Bairstow 2, Rashid 0) Mohammed Shami is at his best in Asian conditions, which is unusual for a fast bowler. Bairstow repels a reverse-swinging yorker and then drives a single.

5.36am GMT

88th over: England 116-6 (Bairstow 1, Rashid 0) Hello, Rob here. A million apologies for this morning’s loss of transmission. That was an awesome over from Shami to Root, culminating in a reverse inswinger that trapped him plumb LBW. England have battled admirably but defeat is unavoidable. It might not take long now.

5.33am GMT

87th over: England 115-6 (Bairstow 0)

Root goes! There’s a review when Shami pins him in front with the final delivery of the over but it’s taken out of desperation rather than genuine hope. It was a superb over from Shami, who was full, straight, swinging it in and looking for that very dismissal. With it, England are all but gone.

5.26am GMT

86th over: England 115-5 (Root 25, Bairstow 0)

Replays show just how delicious that variation was from Jayant, who followed a couple that went straight on with the flight with one that gripped and turned a decent amount to befuddle Stokes. Jonny Bairstow and Root have a decent old rescue mission on their hands now.

5.24am GMT

Stokes goes! Oh my, that was an absolute peach from the spinner, who somehow breaches what had seemed impenetrable defence from Stokes, who shuffles back and across to smother the ball but loses his off stump. England are officially in trouble.

Some slightly better news: Rob Smyth’s technical difficulties are now sorted so you will be spared any further specifics about my hamstrings.

5.21am GMT

85th over: England 115-4 (Root 25, Stokes 6)

Ah, we’ll have some Mohammed Shami after all as the right-armer returns to take advantage of the new ball. He’s coming over the wicket to Ben Stokes with a very wide slip in place, so there’s a huge gap between the latter and wicketkeeper Wriddhiman Saha. Stokes works a single to deep backward square. Shami is looking very stiff in his first over. Makes me feel better about straining my hamstring getting out of bed on Sunday.

5.16am GMT

84th over: England 114-4 (Root 25, Stokes 5)

Jayant is back to replace Jadeja now, which leaves Shami pacing from side-to-side in the deep, slightly miffed. Joe Root is back in defence for the spinner but the ball keeps worryingly low at certain points. Mike Atherton is waxing lyrical about the “rhythm of his footwork” and from side-on it’s hard to disagree. But...there’s a near miss off the final delivery of the over when he shuffles back again and jams his bat down a fraction late, narrowly avoiding LBW.

5.12am GMT

83rd over: England 114-4 (Root 25, Stokes 5)

I say no seam, but Shami is doing some enthusiastic warm-ups to let his skipper know that he’s ready and willing. Every Ashwin delivery to Ben Stokes in this over is greeted with orgiastic screams from the Indian cordon, but it’s all very solid stuff from the batsman and the cries of two slips and a silly point never distract him from his task.

5.10am GMT

82nd over: England 112-4 (Root 25, Stokes 3)

No seam for the home side as Ravi Jadeja pairs with Ashwin for this early period with the new ball. Jadeja is trying to hurry Root through this over but with men circled around him waiting for an edge, the Yorkshireman is having none of it and stops a while to clear something from his eye. Maiden for Jadeja.

5.07am GMT

81st over: England 112-4 (Root 25, Stokes 3)

So you’ve probably figured it out by now, but Ben Duckett perished for a duck, and did so to a rather injudicious sweep off Ravi Ashwin. The other dismissed batsman is Moeen Ali, who sent an inside edge to leg slip to depart for 2 from the bowling of Jadeja. So far, so bad for England. The home side now take the new ball and it’s Ashwin who grabs it, spinning it away from Ben Stokes, who is off the mark but will have watched Ashwin tying his partner Joe Root in knots. Stokes finishes the over by nudging two to fine leg.

5.02am GMT

Apologies for this break in transmission

Hello cricket fans. Russell Jackson here with the update you’ve probably been sweating on for an hour. No? OK. So sorry about that, firstly. We’ve experienced some grave technical difficulties and I apologise for both those and the fact I’m not Rob Smyth.

5.24pm GMT

Rob will be along shortly. In the meantime, here’s Vic Marks on the dramatic conclusion to day four:

The last ball of the day swung the pendulum a long way. Alastair Cook, after 59 overs of diligent self-denial, pushed across the line against Ravindra Jadeja and was lbw for 54. Thus a brilliant, passive response to the targets of batting for five sessions or scoring 405 runs – both of which would be historic – was badly diminished.

Until then England, who have battled so hard since that self-destructive session on the second evening, had caused considerable headaches for Virat Kohli and his men. At the close of another gripping day of Test cricket India needed eight more wickets for victory; England required a much less likely 319 runs to win.

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Published on November 20, 2016 23:07

India v England, second Test: day four – as it happened

Alastair Cook fell to the last ball of the day to undermine a brave England rearguard in the second Test

11.07am GMT

The dismissal means that will be the last ball of the day. Cook worked around a straight one and missed, and Kumar Dharmasena raised the finger after a long delay. I think Cook knew he was out and reviewed it in the hope he might have got outside the line. He could barely drag himself from the field. There were 531 deliveries bowled in the day, and the 531st changed the mood of that day completely.

A wicket with the last ball of the day is a psychological killer at the best of times; but when it’s Alastair Cook, the best in the world at batting time, it is doubly so. Cook played beautifully, making 54 from 188 balls. It’s not really a leap to suggest that delivery may have decided the match. England still have a chance, but surviving 90 overs without Cook will be extremely difficult. Thanks for your company; night.

11.02am GMT

That is a huge moment in the game.

11.01am GMT

Oh my. Cook has been given out LBW. Only an inside-edge can save him.

11.00am GMT

59th over: England 87-1 (Cook 54, Root 5) Kohli goes back to Umesh Yadav, a clever change of pace so late in the day. Root is pinned back by a delivery that hits him on the pad but would have missed leg stump. One more over for England to survive.

10.55am GMT

58th over: England 86-1 (Cook 52, Root 5) A wicket now would be an almighty kick in the box for England. Jadeja has a huge appeal for LBW against Root turned down by Dharmasena. It was legsideish but I reckon that might have hit the outside of leg stump. Erm, maybe not: replays show a huge inside edge from Root. There are two overs remaining in this brilliant day’s cricket.

“Excruciatingly exquisite passage of play - would it be too cliched to pontificate (yet again) on how glorious Test cricket can be?” says Brian Whitington. “And does Cook mainline ice water in his veins during breaks in play?”

10.52am GMT

57th over: England 85-1 (Cook 52, Root 5) “Family breakfast in Uppsala, Sweden,” begins Rob Hart.

“Maria. ‘Why do you keep beetling off to the computer... is it that krick-ett again?’

10.49am GMT

56th over: England 84-1 (Cook 51, Root 5) Cook works Jadeja for a single to reach a hugely accomplished half-century from 172 balls. He is a miracle of mental strength. If England are to save this game, he might need to make this his equivalent of Mike Atherton’s legendary 185 not out at Johannesburg.

10.45am GMT

55th over: England 81-1 (Cook 49, Root 4) Cook just manages to repel a grubber from Ashwin. Every delivery is crackling with menace now. This has been a wonderful session, a subtle struggle in which both sides have played superbly.

“I’m coming out!” announces Dean Kinsella. “I love Haseem. A run out and a grubber in this Test. Hasn’t done anything wrong and loads and loads that’s right. Fantastic find.”

10.42am GMT

54th over: England 80-1 (Cook 48, Root 4) Cook drives Jadeja in the air but short of mid-off. I think that stopped in the pitch. England are hanging on for stumps, and later in the over Cook bat-pads Jadeja wide of short leg. Then Root survives a ludicrous appeal for LBW; it was going a long way down leg.

10.38am GMT

53rd over: England 77-1 (Cook 47, Root 2) I don’t know whether it’s deliberate mind games, but India are shrieking with excitement after almost every delivery from Ashwin to Joe Root. He temporarily silences them with a classy square drive for two. This is a terrific battle between the world’s best bowler and the world’s best batsman.

10.36am GMT

52nd over: England 75-1 (Cook 47, Root 0) This, as Mike Atherton says on Sky, is a big half hour in this game. England’s two best batsmen are at the crease, and if India dismiss either of them they will sleep soundly. Jadeja has gone around the wicket to Cook, who continues to fight the noble fight. He has made 47 from 164 balls.

10.33am GMT

51st over: England 75-1 (Cook 47, Root 0) The new batsman Root edges an Ashwin full toss on the bounce to slip. It’s in such trying times that, to lighten the mood, we can but reach for the video of Nasser getting a stinking grubber in the West Indies.

10.30am GMT

Hameed’s marvellous defensive innings is ended by an unplayable grubber from Ashwin. It pitched on off and middle and scuttled along the ground. Hameed could do nothing about that, but he played exceptionally: never mind the 25 runs, look at the 144 balls he used up.

10.28am GMT

50th over: England 75-0 (Cook 47, Hameed 25) India go up for LBW when Hameed pushes forward at Jadeja. Kumar Dharmasena says not out and India have no reviews left. Not that it matters, because he got a big inside-edge onto pad.

10.26am GMT

49th over: England 73-0 (Cook 46, Hameed 24) India were celebrating Cook’s dismissal when the replay showed it was pad first, and were thoroughly confused when the not-out decision came up on the scoreboard. Hameed plays out another maiden from Ashwin. He has 24 from 137 balls, in a rearguard action, in a Test match, away from home, on a tricky pitch, against the No1 team and the No1 bowler in the world. He’s 19 years old.

10.23am GMT

48th over: England 73-0 (Cook 46, Hameed 24) Another Jadeja over passes without a signal of imminent doom for England. There are 12 overs remaining, though India might get a couple more in before the close.

10.20am GMT

47th over: England 72-0 (Cook 45, Hameed 24) Things are happening, Tony. Things. Batting is more fraught than at any time in the innings, with Jadeja and Ashwin getting much more out of the pitch after switching ends. You can tell a lot about cricket by the ooh/aah ratio, and there are lots of them right now.

“Morning Rob,” says Dave Adams. “You know better than to make optimistic remarks like that (“...if England are unscathed at the close they have a chance” - over 43). Hope, optimism, and its distant cousins, confidence and certainty were officially abolished in South Australia in 2006. Anything other than a state of permanent foreboding is psychologically dangerous for fans of English cricket.”

10.20am GMT

Cook pushed forward defensively at Ashwin, with bat and pad making contact almost simultaneously. It was pad first and Cook is in trouble here. He might be saved by the point of contact with the pad ... Indeed he is – it was hitting the stumps but it was umpire’s call on where it hit him. Kohli has a thoroughly affronted coupon at that decision, and India have used up both their reviews in the space of two overs.

10.18am GMT

Another review against Cook for LBW. Ashwin implored Kohli to go upstairs, and again it looks close as it was pad first.

10.15am GMT

46th over: England 70-0 (Cook 45, Hameed 24) “Writing in from Chennai.. it feels like England have unearthed another great plodder in Hameed,” says Sathish. “He’s going to get 10,000 runs. England just need to play enough matches to make sure he plays about 100,000 deliveries to do it. On a side note, I am pretty sure I saw you while going from Heathrow on the Piccadilly Line on the tube around February this year. Can you confirm/deny that it was you?”

Let me just check my Piccadilly Line diary. (Erm, yes, possibly, I do go on that line in that area. But thousands of people have copied my fat bald four-eyed middle-aged man look, so it could have been anyone.)

10.14am GMT

Cook survives. It was umpire’s call on point of contact with the leg stump.

10.13am GMT

Jadeja turns one sharply into Cook and goes up for LBW. It’s turned down but India review and this looks close.

10.11am GMT

45th over: England 69-0 (Cook 45, Hameed 24) That’s a beautiful stroke from Cook, a perfectly timed push through extra cover for four off Ashwin. And how Hameed jumps down the track to belabour Ashwin back over his head for four more. Two boundaries in the over! Two boundaries!

10.09am GMT

44th over: England 60-0 (Cook 40, Hameed 20) Cook gets his third boundary, driving Jadeja through the covers: 44 overs down, 106 to go.

10.02am GMT

43rd over: England 55-0 (Cook 35, Hameed 20) Ashwin comes on for Shami. His third delivery, to Hameed, turns and bounces obscenely from well outside off stump and is taken down the leg side by Saha. Time for drinks. The pressure is building on England. This last hour of the day is so important; if India get one they might get three or four, and then the game will be done. But if England are unscathed at the close they have a chance.

9.59am GMT

42nd over: England 53-0 (Cook 35, Hameed 18) Jadeja looks a big threat at the moment, and there is a lot happening out of the rough. It’s hard to overstate how well Cook and Hameed have played.

9.57am GMT

41st over: England 53-0 (Cook 35, Hameed 18)

9.52am GMT

40th over: England 52-0 (Cook 34, Hameed 18) Cook jabs his bat down on a Jadeja grubber that would otherwise have trapped him LBW. A wicket is coming, Frank said. When the strike is rotated, Jadeja continues into the rough outside Hameed’s leg stump. Hameed defends with bat rather than pad, and does it immaculately. He has 18 from 122 balls and has batted with a certainty that no English teenager has produced before, certainly not in my lifetime.

“I think I’ve already rationalised the agonising defeat in the last hour tomorrow as England are bowled out for 380,” says Simon McMahon. “42 Shami and Yadav put on for that last India wicket. That’s what did for England.”

9.47am GMT

39th over: England 51-0 (Cook 33, Hameed 18) England have seen the slow run-rate before tea and lowered it: in this session they have scored 11 from 11 overs. They certainly shouldn’t be criticised for that; this has been a brilliant defensive performance that has given them tentative hope of a victorious draw.

“Absolutely,” says Bill Hargreaves of my comment in the 32nd over. “Broad’s spine; Hameed’s maturity and deftness; Stokes’s moments of brilliance, and Cook’s improving captaincy, to mention just a few.”

9.44am GMT

38th over: England 51-0 (Cook 33, Hameed 18) Jadeja is going to work the rough outside Cook’s off stump, with a silly point, slip, leg slip and short leg. Cook pushes a couple to bring up a cool-headed fifty partnership. Then he misses a sweep, bringing a silly LBW appeal (it was well outside the line), and is beaten by a nasty delivery that bounces and turns away from the bat. Batting suddenly looks a lot trickier for Cook now that Jadeja has rediscovered the joys of a bit of rough.

9.40am GMT

37th over: England 49-0 (Cook 31, Hameed 18) Shami replaces Umesh and continues to get some reverse swing back into Hameed, who is hit painfully on the upper thigh by a good delivery that pops from the surface. He continues to defend admirably, and has made 18 from 112 balls. In his short Test career he has already faced over 400 deliveries.

9.37am GMT

36th over: England 49-0 (Cook 31, Hameed 18) Jadeja tosses one into the rough that kicks viciously at Cook, who does well to plop it down at his feet. He could easily have gloved that to one of the army of close fielders. Another maiden, so Jadeja has figures of 11-4-8-0, which is coincidentally the formation my team used to play during lunchtime football at school.

“Attrition is so central to the nature of cricket,” writes our man Copestake. “The word it seems derives from the verb “to rub” or “wear” and so much in cricket goes through that process, from the ball, to the pitch, to the patience of a batsman or OBO follower.”

9.35am GMT

35th over: England 49-0 (Cook 31, Hameed 18) Umesh has a strangled shout for LBW when Cook gets a vital inside edge on a straight delivery. India look a little frustrated but they know this is the kind of pitch on which wickets will fall in clusters.

“When the first wicket falls, I’d be sending Duckett in,” says Phil Harrison. “Give it a bit of Sehwag, Mumbai, 2008. Worth a go, right?!”

9.28am GMT

34th over: England 48-0 (Cook 30, Hameed 18) Jadeja has changed ends and will replace Shami. Hameed brings up his hundred – balls faced, that is – with yet another textbook forward defensive. He edges the last ball short of slip, softening his hands just enough while feeling for a good delivery.

9.25am GMT

33rd over: England 48-0 (Cook 30, Hameed 18) Two from Yadav’s over. I would describe each shot in detail but, really, you’re not missing much.

9.20am GMT

32nd over: England 46-0 (Cook 29, Hameed 17) Hameed is constructing his innings on a need-to-play basis. If Shami flings it full and wide, Hameed will just ignore it. Later in the over he curves one into Hameed, who flicks it fine for four. That full inswinger is a dangerous delivery for Hameed. This is such an interesting struggle. Whatever happens in this game, England have done so well in the last two days. They have shown a level of skill and defiance that has been beyond the other visiting teams to India in recent years.

9.16am GMT

31st over: England 42-0 (Cook 29, Hameed 13) “Morning Rob,” says Phil Withall. “It is these ridiculous circumstances that reveal the real heart of a cricket supporter. The fact that anyone could think it remotely plausible that England could save this match, let alone win it, is completely farcical. Yet every Englishman following will secretly believe it is not just possible but actually a fairly reasonable outcome. Or is that just me?”

Just you. Just you and hundreds of others who have a hope addiction.

9.13am GMT

30th over: England 42-0 (Cook 29, Hameed 13) It’s pace from both ends, with Shami replacing Jayant Yadav. His first ball reverses into Hameed, a slightly worrying sign for England. Two runs from the over. England are a fifth of the way to survival: 30 overs down, a minimum of 120 to go. This has all the earmarks of a heartbreaking defeat with 3.2 overs remaining.

9.06am GMT

29th over: England 40-0 (Cook 28, Hameed 12) Umesh Yadav continues after tea with a maiden to Cook. Although most of the work will be done by the spinners, the pace bowlers could be really important in this innings, especially when it comes to breaking big partnerships. This qualifies as one, because of the 29 overs rather than the 40 runs.

“So, Lord Beefington is envisaging an England win?” says Steve Hudson. “Just looking at England’s scoring rate, if this was a timeless Test, we’d chase down the 400 some time on Thursday.”

8.43am GMT

“Jeez,” says Ian Copestake. “Botham has already started the ‘If England win this’ narrative.”

You’re always with the narratives.

8.42am GMT

28th over: England 40-0 (Cook 28, Hameed 12) Jayant tries from around the wicket to Hameed, with four men around the bat. Hameed continues to defend with calm authority; he is incredibly impressive, and has taken England through to tea. He has 12 from 84 balls; Cook has 28 from 84. There’s a long way to go – at least 120 overs – but England have given themselves a chance.

“Morning Rob,” says Guy Hornsby. “This is such a glorious game. I’m not saying that Englans have a good shout of a draw, only a ludicrous optimist with a few pints of liver preserver down the hatch at this hour would postulate such madness. But there’s something wonderful about this fightback, and this obdurate pair. Anyone that can’t see the genius in this is dead on the inside.”

8.39am GMT

27th over: England 40-0 (Cook 28, Hameed 12) Kohli goes back to pace, with Umesh Yadav replacing Jadeja. Cook plays out another maiden to take England within one over of meeting Mrs Doyle.

8.32am GMT

26th over: England 40-0 (Cook 28, Hameed 12) After a cautious start, Kohli has started to get funky with his fields. There are three men close on the offside for Cook when Yadav is bowling: silly point, slip and gully. When Yadav drops short, Cook scatters those fielders by rocking back to cut for four.

8.28am GMT

25th over: England 35-0 (Cook 23, Hameed 12) The pitch isn’t turning nearly as much as we expected, and at the moment the low bounce is the biggest threat to England. That’s the good news. The bad news is that Hope has breached the terms of the restraining order and could be in your living room in an hour’s time.

8.25am GMT

24th over: England 34-0 (Cook 22, Hameed 12) On the subject of rearguards, look at this from John Snow in the fourth innings.

8.21am GMT

23rd over: England 33-0 (Cook 21, Hameed 12) Jadeja has a fascinating field for Cook, with three men close in on the leg side: silly point, short square leg and leg gully. The scoreboard says 33 for nought but in a sense it should read 23 for nought. That’s how many overs England have survived, and overs survived are far more important than runs.

8.19am GMT

22nd over: England 31-0 (Cook 19, Hameed 12) Ashwin is replaced by the debutant offspinner Jayant Yadav, who is worked around the corner for a single by Cook. This is delightfully oldfangled cricket: two boundaries in 22 overs, a run-rate of 1.45 per over. Hameed has scored four from his last 47 deliveries.

8.14am GMT

21st over: England 31-0 (Cook 19, Hameed 12) Hameed shoulders arms to a delivery from Jadeja that passes the off stump. It looked a good leave but there were plenty of ooohs and aaahs from the Indian team. It might have been the old Shane Warne trick of making the batsmen worry about demons that don’t exist.

8.12am GMT

20th over: England 29-0 (Cook 18, Hameed 11) Ashwin has three men round the bat for Cook: slip, silly point and short leg. England are almost strokeless – ‘shutters up’ for those who grew up with Lambourne Games – but Cook is sufficiently alert to muscle a rare bad delivery from Ashwin through midwicket for four. That’s Cook’s first boundary from his 55th delivery.

8.09am GMT

19th over: England 25-0 (Cook 14, Hameed 11)

8.06am GMT

18th over: England 24-0 (Cook 13, Hameed 11) Ashwin finally goes around the wicket to Hameed, the angle that has troubled him in this series. Nothing doing in that over. Cook and Hameed are playing with admirable assurance in the circumstances.

8.02am GMT

17th over: England 23-0 (Cook 12, Hameed 11) Cook, trying to cut, is beaten by a zipper from Jadeja. “Careful,” says Mike Atherton, pointing out that cross-bat shots are dangerous on such a low pitch. Cook has 12 from 48 balls; Hameed 11 from 54.

8.00am GMT

16th over: England 22-0 (Cook 11, Hameed 11) Ashwin and Jadeja are racing through the overs. It’s intriguing stuff and so far England have batted well. Hameed looks the part. That’s not news any more, is it.

“Buoyed by recent events in a way I didn’t necessarily think possible, I am going to dismiss your 13th over assertion of doom as nowt but the view of the ill-informed pollster, to be rightly dismissed,” says Michael Hunt. “This email feels dirty.”

7.58am GMT

15th over: England 21-0 (Cook 10, Hameed 11) It’s compulsory to refer to Mike Atherton’s Jo’burg epic in situations like this. The best match-saving knock by an England batsman in Asia is probably Michael Vaughan’s masterpiece of restraint at Kandy in 2003. If England are to save this game, they probably need one of these openers to bat for 300 balls or so.

“Regarding innate futility, you’ve hit the hail on the ned regarding the profound appeal of cricket above many other sports,” says Ian Copestake. “So much to enjoy, admire and focus on before the inevitable result. Does that sound metaphoric enough?”

7.51am GMT

14th over: England 20-0 (Cook 9, Hameed 11) Hameed is beaten by a good one from Ashwin that skids straight on. Ashwin is varying his pace - between 90 and 74 kph in that over - in an attempt to make something happen.

7.48am GMT

13th over: England 18-0 (Cook 9, Hameed 9) It’s probably not news that England aren’t going to win this game. They have a small chance of a draw; to achieve that they can probably afford to lose no more than two wickets today. Back at the ranch, Hameed drives Jadeja for a single, the first run in six overs.

7.45am GMT

12th over: England 17-0 (Cook 9, Hameed 8) Ashwin bowls a maiden to Cook. This could get repetitive. England have started well, defending solidly. It’s admirable stuff given the innate futility of their task.

7.43am GMT

11th over: England 17-0 (Cook 9, Hameed 8) Hello. In the time it took me to assume the OBO position, Jadeja had bowled another maiden to Hameed. That’s four in a row. You’d worry about the impact a stuck scoreboard might have on the noggins of some batsmen, but not these two.

7.42am GMT

10th over: England 17-0 (Cook 9, Hameed 8) Ashwin continues but Cook handles him well, deefending positively. That’s a third consecutive maiden, but given the pre-existing pressure England won’t feel it any more keenly.

“I’ve little doubt that it’d be Jadeja, not Ashwin, who’ll be the one,” emails Ramanpriya. “England really needs to watch. His isn’t a high-arm action like the tall Ashwin and his bowling is utterly tailor-made for such surfaces. He also rifles through his overs at an astonishing pace. Beware Jadeja!”

7.39am GMT

9th over: England 17-0 (Cook 9, Hameed 8) Jadeja replaces Shami, and bustles through another maiden.

“I for one am loving this peace before the storms,” emails Ian Copestake.

7.36am GMT

8th over: England 17-0 (Cook 9, Hameed 8) More Ashwin, and Cook defends well - apart from the one he missed, which missed his outside edge and the edge of off stump by the width of a back hair. Maiden.

7.33am GMT

7th over: England 17-0 (Cook 9, Hameed 8) Short one from Shami, and Hameed wears it at tit-armpit junction; short-leg doth duly come in. But Shami can’t maintain the pressure, a leg-side ball allowing Hameed off strike, before Cook rotates again with a pull to square-leg.

7.29am GMT

6th over: England 15-0 (Cook 8, Hameed 7) Ashwin into the attack and on a hat-trick after binning Broad and Anderson at the end of England’s first innings. But Cook blocks his first ball, then nips his second around the corner for one. He stays over the wicket to Hameed, who drives one to mid-off - he is amazingly calm and organised, like every 19-year-old. Another single each, and England look alright, which I appreciate is an hilarious statement to make.

7.25am GMT

5th over: England 11-0 (Cook 5, Hameed 6) Virat is still rabble-rousing, waving his hand and cupping his ear. But England continue to defend the shine off the ball, Cook tickling another single into the leg side. Then Hameed, whose stance reminds me of Graham Gooch in a way - upright, bat up, not much trigger, though perhaps more closed - plays a deft leg-glance for four.

Bit of pace...

Average speeds so far (4th innings)

Umesh Yadav 87.9mph
Mohammed Shami 86.9mph#INDvENG

7.21am GMT

4th over: England 5-0 (Cook 4, Hameed 1) Cook twists a single to square-leg which gives Umesh five balls at Hameed, who has yet to score. He looks solid, though, as one ball flies off the pitch and another keeps low - I wonder if being relatively scrawny helps him play late and with soft hands. Anyway, he toes a single, then Cook feathers one of his own. Solid start from England, but what’s this? Hameed has the physio on to address a finger, after that one from Shami that he took on the glove.

7.16am GMT

3rd over: England 3-0 (Cook 3, Hameed 0) Virat is winding the crowd up and they respond, a high-pitched shriek swirling round a ground that looks about a third full, the best attendance so far. Kohli is in Shami’s ear and he comes around the wicket, which might further discomfit Cook, who struggles to pick him up out of the hand. But he nurdles a single into the leg side, and then Hameed gets everything behind a straight one.

“I am in Vizag,” emails John Whalley. “Lunch is a choice of instant noodles, crisps, pre-packed slices of cake or mini Swiss rolls. Pop or bottled water. Yesterday, there was a lady selling home-made samosas but she has not appeared yet today.”

7.10am GMT

2nd over: England 1-0 (Cook 1, Hameed 0) Umesh muscles in and Cook nudges to cover for one - there’s only a mid-off in front of square on that side, which gives him plenty of options. And Umesh finds his length to Hameed, banging one into the pitch and beating the bat - it raps yerman on the thigh, which tells the bowler that the ball was bouncing over the stumps. This is going to be intense.

7.06am GMT

1st over: England 1-0 (Cook 1, Hameed 0) Shami absolutely burns in, and Cook pokes at it unconvincingly - the ball scoots by the edge. Only one slip, which is an odd one - though there isa short-leg - and Cook gets off the mark playing down to the point fence. Rahane suggests to Kohli that deep point come up - he does - and Kohli goes to slip himself. Shami tries a bouncer at Hameed, who barely faced any in Rajkot - and he takes his eyes off it, wearing a knuck on the glove. I don’t think that’s the end of the short gear. And there’s another one right away, Hameed doing a much better job of weaving inside the line.

7.01am GMT

Right then, here we go. Five sessions of batting and England are one-up.

6.59am GMT

Those who enjoy joy will enjoy this from Ramapriya: “I just noticed that Kohli has scored as many as the England team did in its first dig – which implies that England would now have to score in one innings, which happens to be the treacherous fourth, what the rest of the Indian team did over two innings… quite an ask!”

Hasseb has got this.

6.55am GMT

Virat Kohli in 2016:
Tests: 897 runs (Avg 69.00)
ODIs: 739 runs (92.37)
T20Is: 641 runs (106.83)
All int'l: 2277 runs (84.33)#IndvEng

6.55am GMT

England have gone for the light roller, presumably to keep the pitch lively enough for them to score.

6.47am GMT

Nas spellbound by Broad#INDvENG Live now on Sky Sports 2. pic.twitter.com/4HnildkQkQ

Oh man, if only it was the other Nas.

6.26am GMT

Stuart Broad finishes the innings with 4-33 off 14, a spectacular performance. He got far more from the surface than any other bowler, and made it count with the hard currency of top-order wickets. Oh, and he’s injured.

6.24am GMT

That was a lovely morning’s cricket. England, Stuart Broad in particular, but Anderson and Rashid too, bowled superbly. But they just had too much to do, and have helluva long time to bat to save this game. If only they’d batted properly in their first innings, my grandma would be my grandpa.

6.22am GMT

England need 405 to win; alright then. Oh, and it’s lunchtime.

6.21am GMT

64th over: India 205-9 (Jayant 27, Shami 19) Moeen into the attack and Shami misses his first ball - Bairstow has the bails away, and they go upstairs...

6.20am GMT

63rd over: India 205-9 (Jayant 27, Shami 19) This extra half-hour isn’t going well for England, and Jayant plays a lovely glance to add four more, taking the lead to 396. And then, as the field comes up, Stokes bangs one in, it keeps low, misses off stump by not very much at all, and whizzes by for four byes. And the effort to save the single doesn’t pay off, Yadav waving the bat outside off and netting four between cover and cover point.

6.15am GMT

62nd over: India 192-9 (Jayant 19, Shami 19) Jayant gets a big foot down the pitch, defends, and there’s a shout. Rashid wants a review, but is overruled, and rightly so - that was never hitting the stumps. Then, after a single, Shami shimmies down the track and wallops a six over long-on - again, he doesn’t middle it.

6.12am GMT

61st over: India 185-9 (Jayant 18, Shami 13) Benjamin Stokes is into the attack - England must really want this knocked on the head now. I don’t get why India are still out there, I must say, though they’re going to win anyway so I don’t suppose it matters. Jayant takes a single to mid-on, the only run off the over, and after a glorious first 90 minutes, this session is phutting to a close.

@billbarmytrump serenading us with a tribute to the late #LeonardCohen #RIP #Hallelujah pic.twitter.com/X8SEat9u9m

6.07am GMT

60th over: India 184-9 (Jayant 17, Shami 13) Rashid has a short-leg for Shami, who plays out a maiden.

6.04am GMT

59th over: India 184-9 (Jayant 17, Shami 13) Shami hauls Jayant through for a quick single, and he makes the most of it, glancing Anderson past mid-on when he overpitches and strays onto the pads. Nicely done. Lead is 384.

6.00am GMT

58th over: India 179-9 (Jayant 13, Shami 12) Lunch at 11.30, I wish I was in Vizag; I wonder what they’re having. Lord’s is the best spread in England, I’m told - table service, with outstanding prawns. You want your team batting, and to be out. Two off the over, and we’re getting an extra half-hour by the look of things.

5.57am GMT

57th over: India 177-9 (Jayant 12, Shami 11) Anderson bustles through another over, four dots before Jayant half-bats a seam-upper for two through cover. A single follows, and a rapid morning has just slowed at its end; one over to go, I’d say.

5.54am GMT

56th over: India 174-9 (Jayant 9, Shami 11) Jayant gets treatment on his knee, and England won’t mind that at all. Then, a single to each batter, and Shami takes an enormostride down the pitch, flinging his whole body into a straight whack that flies away for six. I’m surprised his insides are still in place. And I guess Kohli is concerned that England have the batsmen able to do something special, because 374 is more than enough on any track, with any attack, let alone this one and this one.

5.48am GMT

55th over: India 166-9 (Jayant 8, Shami 4) So, India lead by Harvey, 366, and it stays that way as Anderson sends down a maiden.

Many changes to Australia's Test squad for the final Testhttps://t.co/2TUzE1X8pG #AUSvSA pic.twitter.com/gBwHhg5bL6

5.43am GMT

54th over: India 166-9 (Jayant 8, Shami 4) Shami gets off the mark with a thrash to square-leg; Rashid has 4-64 off 20.

5.42am GMT

Rashid sends down a googly that’s far too good for Umesh, hits him on the pad but is going down. So next ball he tries a fuller one, Umesh allows it to pitch and turn, and can’t help but edge behind - though it needs a really good catch from Bairstow, somewhere about his right nipple.

WICKET! Bairstow takes a smart grab as Rashid finds Yadav's edge. India 162-9 lead by 362 on SS2. https://t.co/eYmwf24xGB #IndvEng pic.twitter.com/BnPyYIxRwW

5.38am GMT

53rd over: India 162-8 (Jayant 8, Umesh 0) Anderson must fancy himself for a wicket or two in what’s left of this session - I wonder if Kohli might declare before its end, given how well England are bowling. Maiden.

5.35am GMT

52nd over: India 162-8 (Jayant 8, Umesh 0) Is Rashid now a Test bowler? He now has 3-61 off 19, and and India are 65-5 this morning.

5.33am GMT

Jadeja can’t help himself, seeing some air and swinging hard. But the low bounce isn’t in his favour, he doesn’t get enough of it this time, and picks out Moeen on the midwicket fence.

5.30am GMT

51st over: India 162-7 (Jadeja 14, Jayant 8) Anderson on for the heroic Broad, and he bothers Yadav with some reverse, taking one in the midriff. One off the over, India lead by 362.

“Greetings from the USA,” emails Matt McGillen. “Fantastic session thus far; hoping England will wrap it up quickly. In the meantime I wanted to ask: if Anderson comes on and bowls a beautiful outswinger to get his man, should we label the moment “James and the Jayant Peach?”

5.27am GMT

50th over: India 161-7 (Jadeja 13, Jayant 8) Yadav drives to to cover and they run two, then Rashid pins him back. An edge into the pad does the trick first, and then a leap onto the back foot keeps out another. India will have their 400 by about lunch, though wouldn’t mind a go at them either side, I shouldn’t wonder. That looks unlikely now.

Here's how Virat Kohli made his 81 in the second innings - a fine knock https://t.co/xzwlzkIXTo #INDvENG pic.twitter.com/bzk7PSr05A

5.22am GMT

49th over: India 159-7 (Jadeja 13, Yadav 6) Broad is not playing in Mohali. He goes again - this is his eighth over of the morning, and at the start of it he has 4-28. He has astonishing mental strength, enough to play for Arsenal, even. Jadav edges a four, and for the first time, Broad looks tired - I think he might take a rest now. You can tell him.

5.16am GMT

48th over: India 153-7 (Jadeja 13, Yadav 1) Kohli was not happy with the shot he played, beating his bat as he departs, but he should just be happy to be part of it. You can tell him.

WICKET! Stokes pulls off a one-handed blinder at slip to deny Kohli (81) a second ton. Ind 151-7 on SS2 https://t.co/TR0vdFf4fU #IndvEng pic.twitter.com/1EK50sHLvr

5.14am GMT

I am standing on my feet shouting in a house with a sleeping child! I am in love with that catch! I want to be that catch! Rashid tosses up another and Kohli tries to flat-bat it through cover, but edges, and Stokes dives behind himself like a goalie, pouching a stunner one-handed before standing there like yeah, this is what I do. You know it, everyone knows it, morning all.

5.11am GMT

47th over: India 151-6 (Kohli 81, Jadeja 12) Broad, who’s bowled all morning, still has the ball. He is a bloody-minded so-and-so, that bloody-minded so-and-so, the personification of wonderful. He’s still absolutely bousting in, but it’s the release that’s so skilful - and so rare in a bowler of his height and style. The batsmen take a single each, and Jadeja has now been warned for running down the track - “he just sets off so quick,” says Nasser.

5.07am GMT

46th over: India 148-6 (Kohli 79, Jadeja 11) Rashid is into this, whacking Jadeja - who’s been told to watch where he runs - on the hand with a wrongun. But then Rashid tosses one up and Jadeja’s down the track immediately, slamming it over long on’s head for six.

To ponder: I think I banged on about this during the previous Test, and I know Ansari’s been ill, but given how good Woakes is, is there any point not picking him instead?

4.59am GMT

45th over: India 140-6 (Kohli 78, Jadeja 4) Broad tries a fuller one, Jadeja can’t resist a wave, and does well to miss it. Kohli has 48.1% of India’s runs in this match, says TMS.

Incidentally:

Our data shows Rashid's delivery to remove Saha was his 14th googly of the match#INDvENG pic.twitter.com/3ReletU77v

4.56am GMT

it moves in too much, doesn’t straighten, and it’s umpire’s call on the stumps.

4.55am GMT

45th over: India 138-6 (Kohli 78, Jadeja 3) Broad is bowling so well that he persuades Kohli to edge - another leg-cutter, obviously - but there’s nee slip and it runs away for four. Next ball raps the pad, there’s an appeal, and it’s not out.

4.53am GMT

44th over: India 134-6 (Kohli 73, Jadeja 3) Kohli has more than half of India’s runs here, which tells you a lot about how bloody good he is; how bloody good England’s bowling is too. And after Jadeja runs a three, his bat catches in the turf and reverberates to his elbow - did Bairstow miss a run out chance there? India are 36-3 today.

4.48am GMT

Saha was beaten, and well beaten there - by turn and bounce, playing down the wrong line. Umpire’s call on the stumps, and he’s away. Brilliant morning from England, typically ruined ahead of time by their Friday antics.

4.47am GMT

Looked gone to me...

4.46am GMT

44th over: India 130-5 (Kohli 73, Saha 2) Rashid beats Saha with the googly, the ball hitting him on the knee-roll, and Dharmasena says gone!

4.45am GMT

43rd over: India 130-5 (Kohli 73, Saha 2) Wriddhiman Saha is the greatest Jamaican name that isn’t a Jamaican name, and he gets off the mark with a nurdle to leg. A bye gets him back on strike, and he takes a further single to backward point. But Stuart Broad, what. India’s seamers will be just as excited as their spinners.

4.42am GMT

After that first boundary, Ashwin hasn’t looked comfortable at the crease, and he fences at another leg-cutter, Bairstow doing the rest. What a spell this is turning into; Stuart Broad is a special player, and we are privileged to be living in his time. So few sportsmen, never mind cricketers, are able to take a game and make it all about them, but he is one. He’s not a genius, but it’s a kind of genius.

4.39am GMT

42nd over: India 127-4 (Kohli 73, Ashwin 7) Kohli opens the face and pushes into the off side - it’s an easy single, but Ashwin is slow to respond and does well that no one’s moving onto the ball. He then adds another single, and this has been a decent morning’s cricket from England so far.

4.35am GMT

And he’s right to - that was a big inside-edge onto the pad, and Rod Tucker looks a little silly so he does. Over bowled.

4.35am GMT

41st over: India 125-4 (Kohli 71, Ashwin 6) Broad is bowling really well here - while injured - varying his pace and really working hard on his grips. And then one keeps low, which Ashwin does very well to jab down on, especially given his height. And Broad has him, a full one hitting the pad!

4.30am GMT

40th over: India 124-4 (Kohli 71, Ashwin 6) Rashid into the attack - is he now a Test bowler? Ashwin flips him to midwicket for a single, Kohli gets one to the same area, and then Ashwin smacks one straight down the pitch - Rashid gets a hand to it, but no way he’s holding that, and he’s left wringing it as the ball hurtles on to the fence. Ashwin is not messing about, and while we’re thinking about it, what a move it was promoting him to number 6. Only Virat.

4.26am GMT

39th over: India 118-4 (Kohli 70, Ashwin 1) The lead is 318.

4.26am GMT

The injured Broad bangs in a leg-cutter back of a length, it gets big on Rahane and seems to magnetically draw his hands at it moves away; he guides it to slip. Stuart Broad is suuuuuch a man.

4.24am GMT

39th over: India 117-3 (Kohli 70, Rahane 26) At some point, Kohli is going to lose it, but I imagine he’ll wait for these two to tire themselves out before destroying the spinners. Single apiece for the batters as we watch an ad, cheers chaps.

4.19am GMT

38th over: India 115-3 (Kohli 69, Rahane 25) Anderson is covering the ball now, and Rahane glances him down to third man for one, the only run from the over.

4.16am GMT

37th over: India 114-3 (Kohli 69, Rahane 24) Kohli has the wrists of an angel! Broad sends down a decent enough delivery, and yerman eases onto the front foot, delicately opens the face, and pounds it through cover on the up like God’s dad. He is astonishingly wonderful, and nothing else in the over merits description in the context.

I’m going with Vic.

We are on the air. But what will the close of play score be? Here are the predictions of the @bbctms team #INDvENG pic.twitter.com/J6SiH3bCGp

4.11am GMT

36th over: India 108-3 (Kohli 64, Rahane 23) Kohli will, you imagine, be mindful that England batted too long in Rajkot, but that was a different track and a different attack. And a different captain, too. Anyway, Anderson has the ball, and reverse-swing beats Rahane, hitting the pad. This is proper shout, but when Dharmasena says no they don’t review. Looked like it was going down to me, and indeed it was; impact was umpire’s call in-line. Rahane then gets off strike flicking one that is seriously going down to long leg - he’ll not mind that - until Kohli has him haring back for a single, and BUZZERS! Excuse me. Stokes canes it in, hits the stumps, and the ball runs to the rope and Broad paces after it.

4.06am GMT

35th over: India 100-3 (Kohli 58, Rahane 22) they reckon Broad has a strain in his foot, so will miss Mohali and have a fortnight off before Mumbai. His first ball is decent, swinging in late, but Kohli sees his second, driving past cover for two. So Broad tries a leg-cutter, and is disturbs the surface, jumping up and away - Kohli will not mind that at all. Then, with his final delivery, a yorker - it’s a good one too - and naturally, when Kohli toes it into his boot, Broad appeals. Cook thinks it’s probably not out.

4.01am GMT

Broad has the ball...

4.00am GMT

Virat looks purposeful - hold onto your tatts!

3.59am GMT

“Coke and Kit Kats?” asks Andrew Benton. “Don’t you have health and safety rules at Guardian Towers? I’ve just brunched on warm onion bread, vintage cheddar, mayo and black pepper and half a dozen strong teas - nice and zinged up now. But for what? A miserable defeat that England’s batsmen could have avoided with a bit of common sense play? Or a stirring fightback to show India what to expect in the next three tests? England could do that - lets see if they do.”

I’m at home, and also shovelled down some cold sausages to the point of indigestion. I’ve also since taken a toddler to the toilet, the cornerstone of any nutritious cricket picnic.

3.56am GMT

Rob Key says the lack of spitting bounce might help England; Athers says it won’t. For what it’s worth, Kevin Pietersen is with Athers - he thought that the track in Mumbai that time was so nasty that it wasn’t nasty, and things were turning past the stumps.

3.53am GMT

It’s a nice day in Vizag, would you only adamandeve.

3.50am GMT

Email! “Interesting preamble,” says Peter Rowntree. “I can also only realistically see one result from here - an Indian victory, just a question as to how long we hold out, assuming India go for a 450 target and declare some time before tea. But who in your opinion are the two reliable English batsmen - Cook and Root, or are we talking these days about Ben Stokes and Jonny Bairstow?”

Ha, yes, I thought that when I typed. But no, especially against spin, we’re talking Cook and Root - a Bairsterr fifty is not going to help here, I’m afraid, nor even a Stokes ton - it’s going to take time at the crease. There could not be less chance of any result but an India win.

3.46am GMT

All England need is this. Not much, really.

3.43am GMT

So, how long should India bat? Realistically, their lead, 298, is probably sufficient. But they’ll want another hunnert or so, I’d say, and spend the morning getting it.

3.40am GMT

I’ve had a Diet Coke and three Kit Kats, which is basically like going for a run. I recommend the pairing as a breakfast option.

11.05pm GMT

Funny things, funny things; England are bowling to get India out, but the quicker they do it, the longer they have to bat. And they do not want to bat, not one bit. The ball is ragging, but without the bounce that can take the stumps out of play, they have only two reliable batsmen, and India have the world’s best spinner in tip-top nick.

Realistically, if England are to avoid defeat, it’s going to have to rain, and that can only happen if England are about to win, which they are not. So it’s eyes down to seize a crushing, rather than humiliating defeat, that will send both sides to Mohali in good cheer. Funny things, funny thing.

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Published on November 20, 2016 03:07