Rob Smyth's Blog, page 160

Manchester United 3-2 Southampton: EFL Cup final – as it happened

The magnificent Zlatan Ibrahimovic scored twice, the second a late header to shatter an heroic Southampton and settle a thrilling final

6.35pm GMT

That’s about it for today’s liveblog. We’ll have a match report shortly. Thanks for your company, bye!

Related: Ibrahimovic takes Manchester United to EFL Cup final win over Southampton

6.30pm GMT

Zlatan speaks “That was nice. It was a great cross from Herrera. This is a team effort. I came to win, and I’m winning. The more I win, the more satisfied I get. You appreciate winning more as you get older. This is my 32nd trophy – wow, I’m super happy.”

Interviewer “Has it gone better than you hoped when you signed?”

6.27pm GMT

As bad as United were - and they were - that is a game they would have lost under David Moyes or Louis van Gaal. They have a resilience that wasn’t there a few months ago. Southampton gave them a chasing for large parts of the game.

6.25pm GMT

That was a brilliant game. Southampton were outstanding throughout, much the better team, but the irresistible force of Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s personality decided the match. He started the scoring, and then Southampton equalised, so he finished the scoring as well.

Manolo Gabbiadini scored two lovely goals for Southampton, and had a third wrongly disallowed at 0-0. In a parallel universe, he is a Southampton legend and a League Cup legend. Instead, he is a footnote in the story of yet another triumph in the unique career of Zlatan Ibrahimovic: champion, winner, pantomime bastard and all-round hero.

6.22pm GMT

Manchester United win their first trophy under Jose Mourinho!

6.22pm GMT

90+4 min Bertrand’s 20-yard half-volley hits Bailly, and I think that will be it.

6.20pm GMT

90+2 min For the first time in the match, Southampton look rushed and desperate. They could barely have played better in this game.

6.19pm GMT

90+1 min There will be four minutes of added time.

6.18pm GMT

90 min Southampton’s last change: Jay Rodriguez for Steven Davis.

6.17pm GMT

89 min Marouane Fellaini comes on for Anthony Martial. This is so cruel on Southampton, who for most of the game have battered United.

6.16pm GMT

This is brutally cruel on Southampton. It was, nonetheless, a superbly worked goal. Martial played a crisp, wide-eyed pass to Herrera in space on the right of the box. He stood up a wonderful ball towards the centre of the six-yard line, where Ibrahimovic was unmarked. There was total inevitability to what would happen next, and he headed emphatically past Forster. He is the swaggering definition of the word ‘champion’.

6.15pm GMT

Zlatan Ibrahimovic has done it again!

6.14pm GMT

86 min How did that stay out! Bertrand’s low cross from the left flashed right across the face of goal, with both Long and Ward-Prowse so close to putting it into the net. They get a corner soon after, and Stephen’s header is cleared from inside the six-yard box by Ibrahimovic! De Gea probably had it covered behind him but even so, that was another close shave.

6.12pm GMT

84 min Ibrahimovic plays a cute reverse pass to Rashford, who whacks a low shot towards goal from a very tight angle on the left side of the box. Forster kicks it behind for a corner.

6.11pm GMT

83 min Another Southampton change: Shane Long replaces the marvellous Manolo Gabbiadini, who scored two goals and had a third wrongly disallowed. Long is the kind of relentless bugger you don’t want to face if you’re a tired defender.

6.10pm GMT

82 min Redmond misplaces an inadvertent wall pass with Bailly, moves infield and drives a low shot from 20 yards that nicks off Carrick and goes wide. Ward-Prowse’s corner is headed away.

6.08pm GMT

80 min United are having a decent spell, possibly their best of the game.

6.07pm GMT

78 min “The greatest give and moan,” says Paul Ewart. “Ever.”

6.05pm GMT

77 min A substitution for both sides: Sofiane Boufal replaces Dusan Tadic, and Marcus Rashford is on for Jesse Lingard.

6.05pm GMT

76 min Ibrahimovic’s backheel towards Pogba forces Soares to concede a corner. Herrera overhits it but United keep the ball and eventually Lingard misses a great chance! A left-wing cross nicked off the head of a Southampton defender and came to him just beyond the far post. He took it on the chest and then, as it bounced up, smashed it over the bar from six yards. He did have Bertrand flying towards him but it was still a great chance.

6.02pm GMT

75 min That Rooney substitution never materialised, but it seems Marcus Rashford is about to come on.

6.02pm GMT

74 min Ibrahimovic blasts it straight into the wall.

6.02pm GMT

73 min Pogba is run over by Tadic, 25 yards from goal. It’s slightly to the right of centre, perfect for a left-footer, so the right-footed Zlatan Ibrahimovic will take it.

6.01pm GMT

72 min Carrick has done a superb job defensively but there’s not much he can do about the threat on the flanks. Ward-Prowse breaks into space on the right and drags a good ball into the box that is crucially intercepted by Herrera. Redmond was waiting behind him and would have had a great chance.

5.59pm GMT

71 min United get a free-kick on the right wing. Herrera plays a disguised cutback to Carrick in space on the edge of the area. He doesn’t really connect with his sidefooted shot and it’s kicked clear.

5.58pm GMT

70 min Martial goes on a glorious, elegant run past two or three players before sliding a through pass towards Lingard. He tries to go round Forster but Yoshida stretches to concede a corner. Fine defending.

5.57pm GMT

68 min Another Southampton free-kick causes mild panic in United’s box before Ibrahimovic blooters it clear. United just can’t get into the game at all, which is a strange thing to say after 68 minutes, and when they were 2-0 up at one stage.

5.55pm GMT

66 min “I think Herrera is making something of a rod for his own back, unfortunately,” says Matt Loten. “He goes down theatrically three or four times a match and, combined with his own propensity to make some ‘questionable’ challenges, I think referees are starting to get wary of taking his overwrought pleas too seriously.”

Yeah, he needs to be careful with that. You can give it or moan about it but doing both is not ideal.

5.53pm GMT

65 min Wayne Rooney is about to come on.

5.52pm GMT

64 min Whatever happens in the rest of this game, Southampton have been absolutely magnificent. They have played a good United team, and battered them.

5.52pm GMT

63 min Beautiful play from Southampton! Davis’s disguised backheel finds Ward-Prowse on the right of the box, and his driven cross is put behind for a corner by Valencia. Without his interception, Bertrand would have scored. Then Romeu hits the post! Ward-Prowse’s corner from the left was a beauty. Romeu got above Pogba and steered a header onto the face of the post with the leaping De Gea beaten!

5.49pm GMT

61 min “Does Chris Smalling understand the term ‘weighted pass?’ He always passes STRAIGHT at the person or just behind them,” says Francis Mead. “’Weighted, Chris-WEIGHTED.’”

5.49pm GMT

60 min Herrera is down holding his face. United, not for the first time in this match, try to a get a Southampton player sent off. This time they might have had a case: as Romeu jumped his arm hit Herrera in the face. They are so hard to judge, those leverage elbows. I can see both sides!

5.48pm GMT

59 min Forster plays a loose pass to Martial on the United left. He slides it through to Ibrahimovic, whose stabbed first-time shot from a tight angle is blocked by the outrushing Forster. He made up for his own mistake. United come again and Valencia dinks a beautiful ball towards the edge of the area for Martial - but Pogba gets in the way and they both leave it for each other. Oh dear.

5.45pm GMT

57 min “Rob, dearest,” says Ian Copestake, “has your email address in the header been blanked out because you changed it to something obscene?”

Eh? I call FAKE BANTER on you Copestake.

5.44pm GMT

56 min United have their first good spell of possession of the half. It ends when Redmond flattens Carrick, for which he is booked.

5.42pm GMT

54 min At the moment Southampton look much likelier to get the fifth goal. United have struggled to put more than a few passes together at any stage in the match. Pogba has been poor but he’s not alone in that.

5.41pm GMT

53 min United look rattled. They are rattled. This isn’t supposed to happen to Jose Mourinho teams when they lead 2-0. They need to win the game again.

5.39pm GMT

50 min That was a rare thing from Gabbiadini, the great goalscorer’s goal. His reactions and opportunism were wonderful. Lingard, meanwhile, is very lucky not to get a second yellow card for a trip on Redmond. Actually Redmond did him a favour by staying on his feet and when play eventually broke down Lingard was given only a last warning.

5.37pm GMT

It’s his second of the game. United couldn’t get out from a corner. The ball was headed back in from the edge of the box, and as it bounced up 10 yards from goal Gabbadini hooked a brilliant snapshot on the turn past the motionless De Gea.

5.36pm GMT

Gabbiadini has equalised!

5.36pm GMT

48 min Ward-Prowse, who has been terrific, wins a corner on the right for Southampton. Tadic’s corner is half cleared and lofted back in to Redmond, who whistles a beautiful volley from 15 yards that is punched behind for a corner by De Gea.

5.34pm GMT

47 min United have switched to the 4-3-3 we expected at the start of the match, with Lingard moving out to the right.

5.33pm GMT

46 min United begin the second half, kicking from left to right.

5.33pm GMT

Manchester United have made a half-time substitution: Michael Carrick is on for Juan Mata. That makes sense on pretty much every level.

5.32pm GMT

This is a good point “In the Ibra goal, I think the ball travelled at a greater pace than your typical inside of the boot curler,” says Phil Podolsky. “Which is what confused Forster, who must’ve decided he didn’t have the time to take the couple of small steps keepers usually take before jumping to the other side of the goal on free kicks, so his leap wasn’t all that.”

5.32pm GMT

“In other news, I just bought Jumpers for Goalposts,” says Dael Morris. “Do you get anything off the back of that?”

Bugger all. But if 48,124,891,891 more of you buy it, I’ll be set up for life!

5.30pm GMT

“Eddie Izzard once talked about a circle of cool,” says Matt Dony. “You can move around the circle, looking cooler and cooler, until you get to a certain point where you cross back from very cool to very uncool. I think there’s a similar circle of arrogance, starting at humble and likeable (say, Zola), getting increasingly confident (most footballers), past outright dislikable arrogance (Lord Bendtner), and back to likeable again. Zlatan embodies this anomaly. He should not be likeable, but he is. It’s his world, and we’re all thankful to be in it.”

He’s the best pantomime bastard in football history.

5.29pm GMT

“Well,” says Simon Rose, “that goal being disallowed today makes up for Bobby Stokes’ offside winner in 1976!”

5.23pm GMT

Half-time chit-chat

Dael Morris “I saw the replay of the offside decision and it’s hard to tell - what they gave us was just before the ball was struck, and he’s definitely onside then. If he’s offside a nanosecond later, then the assistant is brilliant, if unknowingly so. I also agree that Zlatan’s goal is soft. The keeper is just late. What is noticeable is that United are flustered. The occasion has got to them. And for all the talking up of Pogba, he’s not a good defensive/holding midfielder. He keeps drifting into the center and into the attack and leaves a hole on United’s left between Martial and Rojo. The result is that we have half a midfield and our attack is neutered.”

5.19pm GMT

Peep peep! That’s the end of a cracking first half. Southampton have been the better team, and had a good goal disallowed at 0-0 before Ibrahimovic (big-game specialist) and Lingard (Wembley specialist) did their thing. At that stage it would have been easy for Southampton to feel sorry for themselves but they keep coming and Gabbiadini scored a deserved goal in added time. See you in 10 minutes for the second half!

5.17pm GMT

It’s an excellent goal. Redmond plays the ball down the right to Ward-Prowse, who sidefoots a cracking cross towards the near post. Gabbiadini gets between the central defenders and pings it first time through the legs of De Gea.

5.17pm GMT

Southampton deserve this!

5.15pm GMT

44 min “I’ve just watched that Ibrahimovic free kick several times and it was perfect, great goal for a final,” says John. “Have a good evening.”

Ah fair enough. Yes I only saw one replay so am quite probably wrong.

5.14pm GMT

44 min Tadic runs at Bailly in the box but is then forced to use it right foot, and it all goes wrong, big-time.

5.13pm GMT

42 min “Is it lonely there?” says Bruce Jackson. “I’ve been ‘vacuuming’ and watching the rugby, as the proper game’s only on Sky.Perhaps a few others have as well? What do you know about the rules of rugby and the difference between a ruck and only a tackle?”

Sweet bugger all, Bruce, I know sweet bugger all.

5.12pm GMT

40 min Stephens is booked for a bad tackle on Martial. The United players reacted furiously, and for a while it looked like Stephens would been sent off. It was a lunge, with his studs showing, but it was one-footed and he didn’t go over the top, so a yellow card feels just about right. Lingard is also booked, presumably for dissent.

5.10pm GMT

Jesse Lingard gets his third goal in as many games at Wembley. Rojo combined neatly with Mata and Martial on the left before squaring the ball to Lingard in space just inside the box. He got the ball out of his feet before sidefooting it through Yoshida’s legs and past the diving Forster. It was a calm finish but poor defending from Southampton. Lingard had far too much space.

5.09pm GMT

The Wembley specialist strikes again!

5.08pm GMT

36 min “Surely Bertrand was interfering with play?” asks Malcolm Shuttleworth. “Therefore that goal was quite rightly disallowed.”

Not by the current interpretation of the laws, though he was incontrovertibly offside in the year 1991.

5.07pm GMT

35 min Another corner to Southampton, their fourth of the match. United have had none. Ward-Prowse’s inswinger rebounds to Stephens, who is only two yards from goal but at a tight angle. He eschews the shot and tries to lay it back to the waiting Yoshida. There’s a United defender in the way and he clears. It all happened really fast but on reflection Stephens could have just leathered that at goal.

5.05pm GMT

33 min I’m not having Pogba in midfield in a 4-2-3-1, not in proper games. United are really struggling here and Southampton have found far too much space in the hole.

5.03pm GMT

32 min An incisive angled pass from Redmond finds Tadic in the D. He has plenty of time, having run away from the lazy Pogba, but the shot is too close to De Gea and he is able to save his legs.

5.02pm GMT

31 min “Out there but losing interest,” says Robin Griller. “Saints up against it, can’t do it with the referees tilting it to United with such poor calls as the ‘offside’.”

They’ve been the better team either side of the goal, and United still look a bit sluggish, so I wouldn’t worry yet.

5.01pm GMT

30 min Using Lingard as a No10 hasn’t worked at all and it’s a surprise he hasn’t been swapped with Mata. Obviously that means a lack of pace in central area but that’s preferable to a lack of anything.

4.59pm GMT

28 min Gabbiadini lays the ball back to Ward-Prowse, whose vicious low drive is well saved down to his right by De Gea.

4.56pm GMT

27 min United are ahead but they haven’t been very good. It’s hard to know how much of that is down to the absence of Carrick and especially Mkhitaryan, and how much is just that they aren’t playing well at this stage.

4.56pm GMT

25 min Lingard plays a through pass towards Ibrahimovic that is cut out by the sliding Yoshida.

4.55pm GMT

24 min This is a test of Southampton’s mental strength, because they should probably be ahead and instead they are behind. Meanwhile, Herrera is booked for a nothing foul on Redmond. That was harsh.

4.52pm GMT

21 min I’m still not sure what to make of that goal. It was a cracking strike, and it fits the Ibrahimovic profile that he should do something like that in a cup final. I’m a bit surprised Forster didn’t get something on it though.

4.51pm GMT

At first it looked like a great goal from Ibrahimovic. But while it was beautifully struck, curled over the wall and towards the bottom left of the goal, it wasn’t right in the corner and Forster might feel he should have done better.

4.50pm GMT

Ibrahimovic has hardly touched the ball - and now he has given United the lead with a majestic free-kick!

4.49pm GMT

19 min There are a few contenders for this free-kick: Pogba, Ibrahimovic, Ibrahimovic and Pogba...

4.48pm GMT

18 min Herrera is flattened 25 yards from goal by Romeu, who is booked.

4.48pm GMT

17 min A few minutes of nothingness, which is just wanted United needed after a torrid spell.

4.44pm GMT

13 min Southampton look the sharper team at the moment and are getting a bit of joy down both flanks. Tadic’s delicious cross from the left is superbly defended by Rojo, who heads away under considerable pressure from Ward-Prowse.

4.43pm GMT

12 min It was the wrong decision. Oh my. Bertrand was in an offside position in front of goal but he had nothing to do with the move, and Gabbiadini was definitely behind Chris Smalling. Southampton should be 1-0 up.

4.42pm GMT

11 min: Gabbiadini has a goal disallowed for offside! It came from Cedric’s low cross, which left Gabbiadini with a tap-in from six yards. We haven’t seen a replay yet but there were few complaints.

4.41pm GMT

10 min Ward-Prowse curls the corner in and Rojo heads clear. It’s been a cautious start to the game.

4.40pm GMT

9 min Redmond’s long-range shot deflects off Herrera for a corner. That begets a second corner, this time on the left...

4.37pm GMT

7 min It’s been a respectful start from both sides, and as I type United are having their first extended spell of possession. Nothing comes of it. I’m not sure about Lingard in that role; he’s usually a lot more effective with his movement from the right.

4.35pm GMT

4 min Ibrahimovic plays a square pass to Pogba, who gets it out of his feet and monsters one towards goal from 25 yards. It was too straight and Forster was able to punch it away. By the way it looks like Lingard is playing as the No10, not Mata. Don’t ask me why, I’m not fluent in tactics.

4.34pm GMT

4 min “Niall was one of the top goalies in Belfast, and was well known for stopping counterattacks on halfway from corners,” writes Sinclair Dowey. “Australia’s gain is certainly Belfasts loss. We miss him madly!”

There’s only one Niall Harden.

4.33pm GMT

3 min Southampton have made a fast start. A fine cross from the left by Tadic flashes right across the face of goal, and then Bailly has to lump clear after Ward-Prowse’s cross bounces off Valencia.

4.32pm GMT

2 min “I think you need to check your football-writer privilege, Rob,” says Matt Loten. “If my boss caught me watching video montages of Le Tissier’s best goals on the company dime, I’d be out on my arse before the poorly-chosen montage music played out!”

It’s funny how different companies have different policies. At the Guardian it’s a sackable offence if you don’t spend at least six hours a day on TweetDeck.

4.31pm GMT

1 min Peep peep! Southampton kick off form left to right. They are wearing their white third kit, which apparently is not available to buy. It bloody will be if they win today.

4.29pm GMT

There’s a belting atmosphere at Wembley. United are the designated home side and are wearing red. It’s EFL Cup final time!

4.21pm GMT

Porn that’s safe for work!

Look, if this doesn’t get you in the mood then nothing will. What a crying shame the only final he played in was the Zenith Data Systems Cup final of 1992. Imagine what he might have done in an FA Cup final.

4.17pm GMT

“Hello Rob,” says Niall Harden. “It is just gone 3am here in Melbourne and I just wanted to say hi. I like your writing, it is good writing. I am drunk, but not as drunk as you were when we briefly met in a pub in Brighton five years ago.”

The early hours of July 22, 2012, yeah. On that subject, if you would like to sponsor my noble attempt to go a year without booze, you are most welcome.

4.10pm GMT

A Southampton win today would be a surprise, but it probably wouldn’t register on the list of League Cup final shocks. There have been some gems down the years.

Related: The Joy of Six: League Cup final upsets | Scott Murray

4.00pm GMT

Some pre-match reading

Related: Lawrie McMenemy: ‘Southampton didn’t have a cat in hell’s chance’

Related: How Manchester United became the Zlatan Ibrahimovic show | Paul Wilson

Related: José Mourinho: my three league titles do not match Claudio Ranieri’s one

3.35pm GMT

More

acronyms
initialism “If the rumours of United buying Griezmann do turn out to be true, presumably Martial would make way?” says Tom Houslay. “Imagine the fear on the opposition’s faces when Mourinho brings out the Griezmann, Ibrahimovic, Mkhitaryan & Pogba…”

3.27pm GMT

Southampton’s XI is as expected. United find room for Wembley specialist Jesse Lingard in a very attacking side.

Manchester United (4-2-3-1) De Gea; Valencia, Smalling, Bailly, Rojo; Herrera, Pogba; Lingard, Mata, Martial; Ibrahimovic.
Substitutes: Romero, Blind, Young, Fellaini, Carrick, Rooney, Rashford.

3.21pm GMT

“Would it be churlish of me to point out that EFL isn’t an acronym?” says James Austen. “It’s an initialism. Apart from that, keep up the good work.”

Oh crikey, of course it is. A great start to the MBM.

12.03pm GMT

We know all about the 1976 FA Cup final between these sides, which is taught on the school curriculum in Southampton.

12.39am GMT

No matter how low football stoops – and it’ll eventually find a way to outdo this week’s nadir – the magic of cup final day will never fade. Nothing will change that: not a loss of soul, or three-figure ticket prices, or even a slightly naff acronym-based name. Yep, it’s EFL Cup final day!

For Manchester United and Southampton, there are reasons to be veru excited. Southampton hope to win only the second major trophy in their history and the first since Bobby Stokes’ clearly onside/palpably offside/hilariously offside (delete as appropriate) goal beat United in the 1976 FA Cup final. United are starting to resemble a serious team again under Jose Mourinho and there is good reason to think that, if they win today, it will be the first of many trophies over the next 10 years, maybe even the next 10 weeks. The League Cup is to Mourinho what the Anglo-Scottish Cup was to Brian Clough.

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Watford 1-1 West Ham United: Premier League – as it happened

West Ham grabbed a deserved point through Andre Ayew after Troy Deeney’s penalty gave Watford an early lead

7.46pm GMT

Related: André Ayew pounces to earn West Ham hard-fought draw against Watford

7.31pm GMT

What an end to the game! Cleverley’s brilliant corner bounces across the face of goal, prompting a big appeal for handball, and then Success misses a bouncing ball four yards from goal! Watford almost nicked it, though that would have been harsh on West Ham. The first half was dreadful, the second extremely enjoyable. Thanks for your company, night.

7.27pm GMT

90+1 min There will be three minutes of added time. In the first of those, Edmilson Fernandes replaces the man of the match Lanzini. His second-half performance was delightful.

7.26pm GMT

90 min Lanzini backheels to Cresswell, who produces another killer cross from the left. It’s about to be headed in at the far post by the stooping Feghouli when Holebas dives to head behind for a corner. Superb defending.

7.24pm GMT

88 min Now it’s Watford who are pushing for a winner. Holebas’s cross is headed behind for a corner by Reid – and Britos misses a great chance! It was a big, booming corner from the left, curled towards the six-yard line. Britos towered above Fonte but was so preoccupied with winning that battle that he didn’t time his header and ended up shouldering it wide.

7.23pm GMT

87 min Bilic has been in a volcanic funk all match. He’ll go postal if they lose this.

7.22pm GMT

86 min Michail Antonio gets a second yellow card for a deliberate handball. No arguments. Well, there shouldn’t be any arguments but there are from Slaven Bilic.

7.21pm GMT

85 min Watford break dangerously through Doucoure, who finds Success on the left. He is easily dispossessed by Fonte.

7.19pm GMT

83 min Another player is booked for fouling Lanzini. This time it’s Holebas. Lanzini has been absolutely majestic since half-time.

7.17pm GMT

81 min Isaac Success replaces Niang for Watford.

7.17pm GMT

80 min Hindsight shows that Watford declared at 1-0 up. That’s okay after 70 minutes, but not so much after three minutes.

7.14pm GMT

79 min Doucoure is booked for pulling back Lanzini. Watford haven’t been able to deal with Lanzini in the second half.

7.13pm GMT

77 min Kouyate breaks away from Niang just outside the Watford area. Niang puts his hand on Kouyate’s shoulder and then hoofs him up the trousers. The referee says play on, a decision with which Slaven Bilic is not entirely enamoured.

7.10pm GMT

The goal was made by Antonio, who took a good pass from Lanzini and roared thrillingly away from Kaboul and into the box. He curled a low left-footed shot which flashed off the inside of both posts at pace before rebounding perfectly for Ayew to tap into the open net

7.09pm GMT

Ayew gets a deserved equaliser!

7.06pm GMT

71 min West Ham don’t deserve to lose this game. They have been terrific since half-time.

7.05pm GMT

70 min Cleverley is booked for something or other.

7.05pm GMT

69 min Antonio heads wide from a brilliant Cresswell cross! He smashed it in from the left and it bounced up at perfectly at the far post for Antonio, who ducked in front of Britos but headed fractionally wide from six yards. He should have scored.

7.03pm GMT

68 min Niang is booked for a foul on Lanzini. West Ham’s pressure is relentless at the moment.

7.03pm GMT

66 min Slaven Bilic is going to lose it any second now.

7.00pm GMT

65 min West Ham make a change: Andre Ayew replaces Robert Snodgrass.

7.00pm GMT

65 min Kouyate is booked for running Niang over.

6.58pm GMT

62 min Great save from Gomes! Snodgrass’s deep free-kick from the right was headed back across the box by Antonio, and then Fonte powered a header towards goal from eight yards. Gomes flew to his left like a cartoon character to make a superb save at full stretch.

6.57pm GMT

62 min Lanzini is starting to run the game, and West Ham have been so much sharper since half-time.

6.55pm GMT

59 min Another great cross from Lanzini, this time low and diagonal, is about to be tapped into an empty net by Antonio when Gomes gets down to palm it away.

6.54pm GMT

58 min Lanzini goes past a couple of defenders and lobs a cross to the far post, where Cathcart makes a great headed clearance under pressure from Snodgrass.

6.50pm GMT

54 min Capoue plays a fine disguised chip towards Deeney, who flattens Fonte while knocking it down to Cleverley. He can’t quite take it on the run and it goes through to Randolph.

6.47pm GMT

52 min A Watford substitution: Craig Cathcart for Daryl Janmaat.

6.47pm GMT

50 min Kouyate, who conceded the penalty in the first half, appeals for one after a wrestle with Niang. The referee, whose name is Craig Pawson, gives a foul against Kouyate. There was definitely a foul by Niang. The issue is whether Kouyate fouled him first. Glenn Hoddle thinks he did; Martin Keown doesn’t.

6.43pm GMT

47 min It’s been a fast start to the second half from West Ham. Feghouli chips Gomes nonchalantly from 25 yards, though the referee had already blown for a foul and there were no complaints - not even on social media!!!!!

6.41pm GMT

46 min Peep peep! Watford begin the second half, kicking from left to right.

6.26pm GMT

Watford lead through Troy Deeney’s early penalty in a largely uneventful game. Mauro Zarate, who won the penalty, was stretchered off with a bad injury just before the break, which meant 11 minutes of added time. See you in 10 minutes for the second half.

6.25pm GMT

45+10 min Antonio is booked for leaving a foot in on Behrami.

6.23pm GMT

45+9 min Zarate has been moved onto the stretcher and the medical team are now taking him from the field. He is replaced by Abdoulaye Doucoure.

6.21pm GMT

45+6 min This looks like a very serious injury. He’s being moved very gingerly onto the stretcher, with his legs strapped together.

6.19pm GMT

45+4 min Zarate still hasn’t left the field. They are still preparing to move him onto the stretcher.

6.17pm GMT

45+2 min Zarate is being stretchered off. I’m not sure what happened but he’s in serious pain.

6.16pm GMT

45+1 min A good chance for West Ham. Cresswell’s excellent low cross is palmed out by the diving Gomes to Snodgrass, but he’s too slow to react and his second touch is a tackle.

6.13pm GMT

43 min Watford break through Holebas, who runs 50 yards down the left. He gets into the area, with options in front of goal, and then decides to have a cup of coffee. That allows Fonte to get back, slide in and block the belated cross.

6.11pm GMT

41 min Antonio flicks the ball over Britos, muscles past him on the inside and hits a shot from six yards that is crucially blocked by Kaboul. Antonio has been a big influence in the last 15 minutes.

6.08pm GMT

38 min I don’t think this will be the opening game on Match of the Day tonight.

6.07pm GMT

37 min The resulting free-kick is whacked over the bar by Lanzini, a miserable effort when he had players in the middle.

6.06pm GMT

36 min Antonio goes on a strong run down the left before being put in an ejector seat by Janmaat, who is booked.

6.02pm GMT

33 min Kouyate charges down the right, and puts a cross straight out of play.

5.59pm GMT

29 min A nice passing move from West Ham, their best of the match, ends when Snodgrass’s low ball towards Feghouli is well claimed by Gomes.

5.58pm GMT

28 min Fonte slices a clearance straight out of play, generously supplying a microcosm of West Ham’s performance so far.

5.57pm GMT

26 min In case you missed it, look at this goal from Zarate earlier in the season.

5.56pm GMT

5.55pm GMT

25 min Holebas heads behind for a West Ham corner, their second. Snodgrass curls it in from the right and it’s headed away. West Ham have created very little thus far.

5.53pm GMT

23 min Zarate is going to continue for the time being.

5.51pm GMT

21 min Zarate is in a fair bit of pain after a foul from Feghouli. He looks like he might have twisted his ankle.

5.48pm GMT

18 min An excellent chance for West Ham. Feghouli mugs the dithering Holebas and moves into the box before giving to Snodgrass, whose first-time shot is crucially blocked by Kaboul.

5.45pm GMT

16 min Zarate makes space for a fierce shot that whacks off the head of Reid. Watford look very lively going forward.

5.44pm GMT

14 min Holebas’s long-range drive deflects wide off Kouyate. Nothing comes of the corner.

5.40pm GMT

11 min Antonio’s dangerous low cross from his left is shanked to safety by Britos. That could easily have gone into his own net.

5.39pm GMT

9 min Watford are content to sit deep and play on the break, especially now they are ahead. Slaven Bilic is already patrolling the touchline with his weary face on.

5.37pm GMT

7 min West Ham haven’t exactly flown out of the traps. In fact they haven’t even crawled out of them. They are still in them, fast asleep, dreaming of a better world.

5.36pm GMT

6 min Niang picks up a loose ball in midfield, galumphs towards goal and hits a storming rising drive from 25 yards that just clears the crossbar with Randolph beaten. That was gloriously struck.

5.33pm GMT

Troy Deeney cracks it hard and low to the left. Good penalty. Randolph went the right way but was nowhere near it.

5.32pm GMT

Zarate was going nowhere, near the byline, and Kouyate just ran him over.

5.32pm GMT

Kouyate is penalised for a challenge on Zarate. Absolutely stupid, and needless, and a clear penalty.

5.30pm GMT

1 min West Ham, in claret and blue, kick off from left to right. Watford are in yellow.

5.29pm GMT

It’s a wet, windy evening in Watford. Who wants

some
it the most?

4.36pm GMT

Watford (4-3-3) Gomes; Janmaat, Kaboul, Britos, Holebas; Cleverley, Behrami, Capoue; Zarate, Deeney, Niang.
Substitutes: Arlauskis, Prodl, Success, Cathcart, Doucoure, Zuniga, Okaka.

West Ham (4-2-3-1) Randolph; Kouyate, Fonte, Reid, Cresswell; Obiang, Noble; Feghouli, Lanzini, Snodgrass; Antonio.
Substitutes: Adrian, Byram, Masuaku, Collins, Fernandes, Ayew, Calleri.

5.22pm GMT

In these insufferably narcissistic times, blustering underachievement has greater cachet than quiet achievement. Let’s change that. Let’s give it up for Watford and West Ham, who have both ensured safety with a third of the season remaining.

The two teams have had impressive seasons for different reasons. Watford have achieved stability despite changing their manager every five minutes, and West Ham have recovered from the mess that was the first few months of their season. As any Championship Manager vet knows, once you are tipped for the sack it is nigh-on impossible to turn things round. But Bilic has done that.

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Leeds United 1-0 Sheffield Wednesday: Championship – as it happened

Chris Wood’s calm finish and Robert Green’s penalty save gave Leeds an important win in a tough, unyielding derby

2.43pm GMT

Related: Chris Wood strikes to give Leeds derby victory over Sheffield Wednesday

2.22pm GMT

Peep peep! Leeds move up to fourth - and nine points clear of seventh-placed Fulham - with an important derby win. It was a hard-nosed struggle with just two shots on target in the whole match - Chris Wood’s goal and Jordan Rhodes’ penalty that was saved by Rob Green. Leeds’ defensive square were quite superb. Thanks for your company, don’t forget the clockwatch!

Related: Chelsea v Swansea City, Everton v Sunderland and more – live!

2.19pm GMT

90+2 min Wood is booked for timewasting. He was flagged offside but chipped Westwood anyway.

2.17pm GMT

90 min There will be four minutes of added Wednesday frustration.

2.16pm GMT

89 min Leeds are probably under less pressure than at any stage since half-time.

2.14pm GMT

87 min It’s been a frustrating match for Wednesday. They’ve have lots of the ball and lots of near chances, but few actual ones. Meanwhile, Bridcutt is booked for timewasting.

2.13pm GMT

86 min Leeds make their final change: Pablo Hernandez is replaced by Stuart Dallas.

2.12pm GMT

2.12pm GMT

85 min A free-kick to Wednesday on the right wing. Wallace curls it in and Green punches away.

2.09pm GMT

82 min Another leeds change: Ronaldo Vieira replaces the tiring Eunan O’Kane.

2.08pm GMT

81 min The substitute Bannan tries his luck from 25 yards. It’s a decent effort that bounces just wide of the far post, though I think Green had it covered.

2.03pm GMT

76 min McManaman’s cross from the left is headed towards the six-yard line by Forestieri, and the stretching Berardi makes a vital interception to deny Fletcher.

2.02pm GMT

74 min Wednesday have had so much of the ball in the second half but Leeds’ defending has been superb, certainly in open play. They have looked a bit more vulnerable from set pieces.

2.01pm GMT

73 min “A revisionist view of that “dive” from the man himself,” sniffs Ian Copestake.

2.01pm GMT

72 min Roofe shoves McManaman, who gives the ball away as a result to Hernandez. He tries to play a low ball across the box which deflects back towards him, and then both he and Roofe try to shoot at the same time. It hits a defender and goes behind for a corner.

1.58pm GMT

72 min “I played a 1996/97 Sensible World of Soccer version of this fixture this morning,” says Peter. “Mark Pembridge scores a 90th-minute equaliser to cancel out Tony Yeboah’s first-half strike. The game ends 1-1.”

Consider the front page held.

1.58pm GMT

71 min Leeds make their first change: Kemar Roofe replaces Hadi Sacko.

1.57pm GMT

70 min O’Kane is booked for a weary foul on Reach.

1.56pm GMT

69 min Bridcutt is robbed just outside his own area by Forestieri, whose pass to Fletcher is crucially intercepted by the last man Jansson.

1.55pm GMT

68 min Wednesday make a double change, bringing on Bannan and Steven Fletcher for Jordan Rhodes and Almen Abdi.

1.53pm GMT

67 min Wednesday have a really strong bench, and they’re not afraid to use it: Barry Bannan is about to come on.

1.52pm GMT

65 min A rare Leeds attack. Hernandez plays an excellent pass inside McManaman for Ayling, whose dangerous low cross is cleared to O’Kane. His follow-up shot is well off target.

1.51pm GMT

63 min Wallace is booked for a dive just outside the Leeds area. Good refereeing from Mike Jones. Bartley, the defender, thought he’d been penalised and has his hands over his head in apoplexy.

1.48pm GMT

61 min This is Wednesday’s best spell of the match. Leeds are struggling to get out.

1.46pm GMT

59 min There’s a break in play, so let’s have a look at Gordon Watson one more time.

1.45pm GMT

58 min Another excellent inswinging corner from Wallace is headed over from eight yards by the unsighted Loovens. That was a chance.

1.45pm GMT

57 min It’s starting to get a bit niggly. Wallace is fouled 25 yards from goal, to the right of centre. He takes the free-kick himself and it deflects off the wall for a corner.

1.43pm GMT

56 min Replays show Doukara and Hutchinson were wrestling each other. Rhodes had another chance straight after the penalty, when he mistimed his jump from the ensuing corner and knocked the ball over the bar from eight yards.

1.42pm GMT

It wasn’t a great penalty from Rhodes - accurate, but a bit too soft and Green had time to plunge to his left and tip it onto the post. I’m not sure it was a penalty in the first place, although Doukara certainly took a risk by putting hands on Hutchinson. You can see why it was given.

1.41pm GMT

Robert Green pushes the penalty onto the post!

1.40pm GMT

A corner is headed back across the box, and Doukara is penalised for pulling back Hutchinson. Hmm.

1.39pm GMT

52 min On reflection, I’m not certain Hutchinson did get the ball. I’d like to see that again.

1.39pm GMT

Related: Chelsea v Swansea, Everton v Sunderland: clockwatch – live!

1.38pm GMT

51 min Leeds appeal for a penalty when Hutchinson makes a risky tackle on O’Kane near the byline. Replays show he got the ball, and that’s the end of that.

1.38pm GMT

51 min Leeds’ defensive square of Bartley, Jansson, Bridcutt and O’Kane are so tough to get through. Wednesday have had no joy at all in central areas.

1.37pm GMT

50 min Bridcutt drills a long crossfield pass to Wood on the left. He runs at the backpedalling Sasso, cuts inside on the edge of the box and crunches a shot that swerves well wide of the far post.

1.35pm GMT

49 min “Are we sure which city Dave Hill’s in?” asks Glenn Hoddle. “If San Diego, I suggest the Shakespeare Pub & Grill to see the game. Mind you, I remember having furniture thrown at me when I went there to see that England - Ireland friendly that was abandoned after twenty minutes many years ago.” 15 February 1995, yeah.

1.33pm GMT

47 min “Would be interested to hear Leeds fans thoughts on how Roofe has played this year?” says Max Edwards. “He was on another level for us last year.”

1.33pm GMT

46 min Peep peep! Sheffield Wednesday begin the second half, kicking from right to left.

1.32pm GMT

Sheffield Wednesday are making a half-time substitution: Callum McManaman for Morgan Fox.

1.18pm GMT

Half-time reading

Related: The ‘giant-killing’ FA Cup is no longer such a football fairytale | Matthew Engel

1.17pm GMT

Peep peep! Leeds are ahead in an unyielding match thanks to Chris Wood’s calm finish. See you in 10 minutes for the second half.

1.16pm GMT

45 min Rhodes appeals for a penalty after some off-the-ball physical banter with Bartley. Mike Jones says not out. Then Green drops a vicious low cross from Reach and is happy to see it fall to a Leeds defender.

1.15pm GMT

44 min “Hey Rob,” says JR in Illinois. “Yeah, as Dave Hill said this game is not on TV here in the U.S. Instead the channel that shows Championship games is showing a PiYo infomercial so I am watching Wolves v Birmingham from yesterday. Perhaps Dave needs a new TV because Leeds has been on TV (for league games) several times this season. I’ve seen them get spanked by QPR and Brighton and seen them smoke Rotherham.”

Smoke Rotherham has to be a band name, somewhere.

1.14pm GMT

43 min It’s all a bit scruffy at the moment, which suits Leeds given the scoreline.

1.12pm GMT

41 min Jansson is booked for a foul on Forestieri about two minutes after the event. The referee played the advantage and then went back to book him, though I’m not entirely certain it was a foul.

1.07pm GMT

35 min A great defensive header from Sasso denies Wood a clear chance from six yards and sparks a Sheffield Wednesday break. Eventually a cross is half-cleared to Forestieri, who sidefoots a half-volley high and wide from 15 yards

1.05pm GMT

34 min Wednesday are really dominating possession now, although they haven’t had a shot on target yet. If anything Leeds look more dangerous on the counter.

1.04pm GMT

33 min Wednesday win the first corner of the match. Wallace’s inswinger is cleared to Wood, who breaks forward and finds Sacko. He has a great chance to return the favour and put Wood clear on goal. Instead he decides to set off on a surging run straight out of play. That was dreadful decision-making from Sacko.

1.01pm GMT

32 min “Has Dave Hill not gone to bed or got up at 4.30am especially to watch Leeds?” says Ian Copestake. “Am sure The Cock ‘n’ Bull on Lincoln and Pier would serve his needs. Is run by a different sleepless Evertonian.”

1.01pm GMT

31 min Sasso is booked for a foul on Wood.

1.00pm GMT

30 min Wednesday have been the better team either side of the goal and there’s a burgeoning nervousness around Elland Road.

12.59pm GMT

28 min Abdi plays a forensic through pass to Forestieri, who controls it on the run and is about to shoot when Jansson comes across to make an excellent challenge.

12.58pm GMT

27 min “As my train winds its way from Newcastle to Carlisle, I’m sat here wondering how the Leicester board will one-up the most unlikely league title of all time, and the unceremonius dumping of Uncle Ranieri,” says Matt Loten. “Mandatory sacking for any manager that loses a game? Joe Kinnear’s triumphant return to football as new manager of Leicester City? The relocation of the entire King Power Stadium to Bangkok in an attempt to ‘grow the brand’ in ‘key international markets’? I wait with bated breath.”

Unless Danny Dyer is involved, sacking Ranieri is indefensible.

12.56pm GMT

25 min That wasn’t great defending from Wednesday. The centre-halves let Wood go and he was played onside by the right-back Hunt.

12.55pm GMT

Doukara tapped the ball down the left to Berardi, who was fractionally offside but not given. He curled a right-footed cross into Wood, who looked offside on the six-yard line but wasn’t, and he controlled the ball before relaxing his right foot to cushion a low volley past Westwood.

12.54pm GMT

Chris Wood scores lots of goals, but few as easy as this.

12.54pm GMT

23 min Wednesday are having more of the game now. Hunt’s fierce cross from the right is well controlled by Rhodes but he can’t get over his subsequent snapshot on the turn and it whistles high over the bar.

12.52pm GMT

21 min A near miss for Sheffield Wednesday. Wallace’s dangerous inswinging free-kick right hits the head of Wood at the near post and drifts a few yards wide of the far post. It should have been a corner but the referee gave a goal kick.

12.48pm GMT

17 min Lovely play on the right by Sacko, who nutmegs Fox and crosses low towards the near post, where the diving Westwood palms the ball away.

12.47pm GMT

16 min The first decent move of the match. Sheffield Wednesday take a quick free-kick inside their own half and break from right to left, where Reach’s excellent low cross drifts across the face of goal.

12.43pm GMT

12 min “I guess it’s a good thing that I can’t get the game on TV here in California,” says Dave Hill. “The only time I’ve been able to watch Leeds in the past couple of years have been FA Cup ties. The less said, the better.”

12.42pm GMT

11 min A stirring blast of “We all hate Leeds scum” is interrupted by contemptuous whistling when Fox stabs a pass straight out of play.

12.41pm GMT

9 min Both teams are really harassing each other in midfield, which is the main reason the game still hasn’t settled down. My enormous book of football cliches tells me it’s a typical derby game so far.

12.38pm GMT

7 min It was Kuala Lumpur.

12.37pm GMT

6 min Leeds have been the better side so far, though the match hasn’t really settled down.

12.36pm GMT

5 min There’s a lovely, quaint aggression to this match: slide tackles, chanting, the lot.

12.33pm GMT

3 min After a mistake from Sasso, Wood’s optimistic shot from the right side of the box dribbles tamely across goal.

12.33pm GMT

3 min Hutchinson sets his agenda with a couple of lively, fair tackles in midfield. Up with this sort of thing!

12.31pm GMT

2 min “As a lifelong Leeds fan I will be following the game from here in KL with fingers crossed,” says Karen Young. “I think the pressure of holding on to a play-off place may well prove a step too far for my beloved Whites. How us LUFC fans long for the days of the Premiership - my daughter and I (both Mancunians) had season tickets and revelled in those Champions League nights. I can keep dreaming Rob, but until then - Good Luck LUFC. Enjoy the game, it will be lively and loud!!”

KL? Kuala Lumpur? Kirkland Lake? Kings Langley?

12.31pm GMT

1 min Peep peep! Leeds, in white, kick off from right to left. Sheffield Wednesday are in black.

12.21pm GMT

Is it me or... is Keith Andrews an extremely good pundit? Never seen him before but he’s talking all kinds of insightful, opinionated sense, and in a lovely brogue too.

12.19pm GMT

“Thank goodness for some footer!” says Ian Copestake. “And a time machine of a match at that. I lived in Leeds during their Leicester-like rise and fall but now only associate them with a solid foreign chairman of good standing who seems to have demonstrated the sense of sacking people every twelve minutes. It will never catch on though.”

Ian, your status as the best MBM emailer of all time is without question. But we are duty-bound to put the MBM’s long-term interests above all sense of personal sentiment, no matter how strong that might be. Therefore, you’re blocked.

11.42am GMT

Our first email!

“Come on Rob,give us your prediction on this one,” says Michael Senior. “As an Owl, I’d probably take a draw right now, but heart says 2-1 to Wednesday.”

11.34am GMT

Leeds (4-2-3-1) Green; Ayling, Bartley, Jansson, Berardi; Bridcutt, O’Kane; Sacko, Hernandez, Doukara; Wood.
Substitutes: Silvestri, Cooper, Vieira, Pedraza, Barrow, Dallas, Roofe.

Sheffield Wednesday (4-4-2) Westwood; Hunt, Loovens, Sasso, Fox; Wallace, Hutchinson, Abdi, Reach; Rhodes, Forestieri.
Substitutes: Wildsmith, Fletcher, McManaman, Winnall, Palmer, Semedo, Bannan.

4.49pm GMT

Hello. Leeds and Sheffield Wednesday belong together, forever and ever – but not in the Championship. They are Premier League teams in all but name, a situation both hope to rectify in May. At the moment they are both in the play-off places and have a puncher’s chance of being promoted back to the top division for the first time since 2004 and 2000 respectively. That’s something for each side to worry about tomorrow. Today they just want to beat that lot.

It’s 25 years since they finished first and third in the final season of the old first division. The most devastating performance of Leeds’ title win came against Wednesday, a majestic 6-1 win at Hillsborough live on ITV. It’s a game best remembered for ... actually it’s best remembered for Gordon Watson’s hilarious dive, but let’s not dwell on that. Let’s reflect instead on another high-scoring game between the sides: Sheffield Wednesday 6-2 Leeds in 1995-96, a game best remembered for ... oh I give up.

Continue reading...

Raymond van Barneveld: ‘I’m playing the best darts of my career … but keep losing’

No matter how well the great Dutchman plays, Michael van Gerwen and Gary Anderson always seem to raise their game to beat him, and he knows his time at the top is limited

Raymond van Barneveld has an unusual problem. Since Moses wore short pants, sportsmen have been frustrated by poor performance – but Van Barneveld is being driven to distraction by arguably the best form of his career. The reason is simple: no matter how well he plays, Michael van Gerwen and Gary Anderson tend to play even better.

Van Barneveld last won a major in 2014, when he was Premier League champion. Since then he has had some of the greatest victories of his career, including the famous win over Van Gerwen at the 2016 world championship, and his languid, elegant throw has rarely been more accurate than in the past few months. But he has nothing tangible to show for it.

Related: Michael van Gerwen blitzes Raymond van Barneveld to set up dream PDC final

Continue reading...

Liverpool 2-0 Tottenham Hotspur: Premier League – as it happened

Sadio Mane scored two quick goals in a flying Liverpool start that gave them a comfortable victory over a disappointing Spurs

7.22pm GMT

Peep peep! Liverpool end their poor run of form with an emphatic victory. Spurs were abysmal but that shouldn’t detract from a storming start to the match from Liverpool. Sadio Mane scored twice in three minutes to give them a lead they never looked like losing. They were absolutely superb in that first half an hour. Thanks for your company, see you in court.

Related: Liverpool’s Sadio Mané fires quickfire double to stun Tottenham

7.19pm GMT

90+2 min Mane is brought off so that he can get a deserved ovation, and a big sloppy hug from Jurgen Klopp. Trent Alexander-Arnold replaces him. Mane was electric in the first half and settled the match.

7.17pm GMT

90 min Walker accidentally drags his studs across the head of Lallana. He’s fine. Four minutes of added time.

7.16pm GMT

88 min Lloris comes miles out of his area and is in no man’s land when Wijnaldum tries to lob him from 50 yards. He makes a mess of that but then Davies and Lloris almost contrive to score an own-goal between them.

7.14pm GMT

86 min Tottenham have had a really bad night. Their defeat confirms - if it was in any doubt - that Chelsea are the champions.

7.13pm GMT

7.10pm GMT

83 min Alderweireld ends a thrilling Liverpool counter-attack with a deliberate and necessary foul on Firmino just outside the box. He’s booked.

7.09pm GMT

82 min Lucas has pulled something and leaves the field to be replaced by Klavan. Spurs bring on Janssen for Son.

7.07pm GMT

80 min The second half has been a non-event.

7.05pm GMT

78 min Dier is booked for a foul on Can, the seventh yellow card of the match.

7.04pm GMT

77 min Another change for Spurs: Moussa for Moussa, Sissoko for Dembele. And Liverpool bring on Emre Can for Coutinho.

7.01pm GMT

74 min After a good Liverpool break, Coutinho drives a low shot just wide from inside the D.

6.59pm GMT

71 min The resulting free-kick, swung in beautifully by Milner, finds Matip eight yards out - but he mistimes his attempted header and it loops off his shoulder into the arms of Lloris.

6.58pm GMT

71 min Told you there would be yellow cards. Winks is the latest to be booked for a sliding tackle on Milner. He did pull out but by then Milner had leapt out of the way and that was enough for the referee to book him.

6.57pm GMT

70 min “Leaping barge from Milner there,” says Anthony Cook. Nah, it was more of an elbow from the top rope.

6.56pm GMT

69 min “Can you tell your correspondent (58 mins) that the reason Klopp picks Lallana is that he happens to be one of the few outfielders who prefers using his left foot,” says Graeme Thorn. “ Seriously, the back foot are all right-footers, the forward line is all right-footers, which leaves Henderson (right-footed), Wijnaldum (I’m not sure) and Lallana, who can use both but prefers his left.”

6.55pm GMT

68 min Milner is booked for a flying shoulder barge on Kane.

6.55pm GMT

68 min A change for Spurs: Harry Winks replaces the unusually ineffective Christian Eriksen.

6.54pm GMT

66 min The game is going nowhere at the moment. Liverpool lack the pizazz of the first half but they have done their attacking work. Spurs have offered nothing except a hint of aggro. Talking of which, Kane is booked for a filthy lunge at Clyne.

6.52pm GMT

64 min If it stays like this there will be two points separating Spurs in second and Manchester United in sixth. Chelsea have ruined one of the great title races, the swines.

6.50pm GMT

63 min In terms of their long-term development, this is becoming a worry for Spurs. There is so much to love about them but their performances today and at both Manchester clubs have been weirdly poor.

6.48pm GMT

61 min Alli brazenly shoves Mane over from behind. He’s looking for trouble at the moment.

6.47pm GMT

60 min “wasnt (sic) a filthy (sic) hack from Matip, a mistimed lunge more like,” writes my personal sub-editor Anthony Cook.

6.46pm GMT

59 min Eriksen is penalised for a foul throw. Lads, it’s Tottenham.

6.46pm GMT

58 min “Klopp knows more about footy than I do,” says Mark Turner. “Klopp keeps picking Lallana in the starting eleven. I have a lot of trouble reconciling those two facts.”

6.45pm GMT

57 min Liverpool have dropped off a bit, both tactically and physically, which will give Spurs a smidgen of hope. It’s about all they deserve for their performance so far.

6.44pm GMT

56 min: DISALLOWED GOAL Eriksen’s free-kick is steered onto the post by the offside Kane, with Dier scoring from the follow-up. There are no complaints and replays show it was the right decision.

6.42pm GMT

56 min Matip is booked for a filthy hack at Eriksen.

6.42pm GMT

54 min After giving another free-kick, Anthony Taylor exhales with the weary look of a man who knows he’ll be showing a few yellow cards this half.

6.40pm GMT

52 min Henderson is booked for a foul on Alli which prompts a bit of a shoving match between Wanyama and Lallana.

6.37pm GMT

50 min It’s been an excellent start to the half from Liverpool. Alli is getting frustrated and is lucky to get away with a clear shove on Firmino.

6.35pm GMT

47 min “I don’t want to over-simplify That January, there are always plenty of factors,” says Matt Dony. “But, my word Liverpool missed Mane.”

6.33pm GMT

46 min Peep peep! Spurs begin the second half, kicking from right to left. The main thing that will give them hope is that they were equally bad and 2-0 down at Manchester City before drawing that match.

6.30pm GMT

“The Barry Horne 1994 stuff is all in my head, Rob,” says Gary Naylor, “as fresh as the day he decided to have a go, and the shot hit the back of the net - otherwise I think it would have hit me right in the coupon. Literally, unforgettable stuff.”

That’s so true. We’ve become a society that confuses memory and posterity, but there are some the camera will never capture.

6.19pm GMT

Half-time chit-chat

“This is the worst first half from Spurs I can remember since Poch took over,” says Alistair Donegan. “Ben Davies’ performance is turning my hangover up from a 7 to a 9. Mcmanaman’s inane crowing just nudged it to 9.5.”

6.17pm GMT

The scoreline flatters one team but it’s not Liverpool. They were exhilarating, Spurs were Dierbolical. See you in 10 minutes for the second half.

6.13pm GMT

43 min “You may wish to pawn your “Saves Galore 1988-89”,” says Gary Naylor, “but I’m keeping my highlights video of Everton’s 1993-94 season, “100 Golden Throw-ins” and the souvenir DVD of our 2005-6 Champions League campaign, “Two Nights in August”.”

Do you keep that 1994 classic Barry Horne Porn in an unmarked video case?

6.12pm GMT

42 min Coutinho swings a corner in from the right. Dier is having a cup of coffee at the far post and Lucas gets above him to head over the bar. He migt have done better.

6.10pm GMT

40 min Spurs look much better going forward now, but Liverpool look like creating a chance with every attack. It’s been a weirdly open half.

6.09pm GMT

37 min Build your income daily! Earning money online has never been faster or easier! Email rob.smyth@theguardian.com.

6.08pm GMT

36 min Liverpool did something interesting on that Spurs free-kick. Coutinho was down on one knee with his body spread to stop Eriksen driving it under the wall. Very cute.

6.07pm GMT

35 min “Hi Rob,” says Peter Oh. “It looks as if Klopp’s pre-match pep talk was a simple: ‘Jungs, es ist Tottenham’.”

6.06pm GMT

34 min Son is fouled right outside the area by Milner. The free-kick is just to the right of centre, perfect for Eriksen to whip it to the far corner. That’s exactly what he does and it flies onto the roof of the net. Mignolet had it covered.

6.03pm GMT

33 min “Hi Rob,” says Peter Oh. “It looks as if Klopp’s pre-match pep talk was a simple: ‘Jungs, es ist Tottenham’.”

6.03pm GMT

32 min Coutinho’s low shot from 12 yards is saved to his right by Lloris. Spurs’ defending has been appalling.

6.02pm GMT

31 min Lloris is lucky when his attempted clearance hits Firmino and rebounds safely.

6.00pm GMT

29 min Davies is having a stinker. He misjudges a pass towards the right, which allows Mane to collect it on the run and move into the area. Dier slides across to make what was probably a goal-saving challenge.

5.59pm GMT

27 min Son is booked for an cynical attempt to stop a Liverpool counter-attack. He tried to kick him in the chest, basically. Luckily for him Firmino just ignored the challenge, which might have been the difference between a yellow card and a red.

5.58pm GMT

26 min Spurs have woken up at last. Alli’s looping header, which might have been sneaking in, is headed over his own bar by Lucas.

5.57pm GMT

25 min The chances keep coming. This time it’s for Spurs. Davies’s brilliant sliderule beats the stretching Matip and puts Son through on goal. He takes his time and then batters a low shot that is saved by the legs of Mignolet. He should have scored.

5.55pm GMT

23 min Mane 2-2 Lloris. This is a brilliant individual contest. Mane picked up the ball on the right of the box and screamed a rising drive towards the near top corner. It might have been hitting the outside of the post, but Lloris took no chances with a flying reaction save.

5.54pm GMT

22 min Mane almost gets a six-minute hat-trick! Walker played a diabolical pass back towards his own goal from just inside the Liverpool half. Mane scorched past the half-asleep Davies to collect the ball before shooting low towards goal, and only a fine save from Lloris denied him.

5.52pm GMT

22 min “Wait, hang on,” says Niall Mullen. “Let me look at the table again.”

5.51pm GMT

20 min As wonderful as Spurs are, they haven’t turned up in some big away games this season: City, United and, so far, Liverpool.

5.50pm GMT

That was a dreadful goal for Spurs to concede. Dier dithered 35 yards from goal and was robbed by Mane. He ran into the area on the left and squared it for Lallana, whose rising shot was beaten away by Lloris. Firmino’s follow-up was also blocked by Lloris, but the ball rebounded behind him for Mane to twist his body and smash it past the two defenders on the line.

5.48pm GMT

Two in three minutes for Sadio Mane!

5.47pm GMT

It was a lovely goal. After Coutinho robbed Wanyama in midfield, Wijnaldum played a fine through pass to find Mane, who left Davies behind with a superb angled run from the right. He moved into the box, took his time and lifted the ball high into the net.

5.46pm GMT

Liverpool deserve to be ahead, and now they are!

5.44pm GMT

13 min A brilliant counter-attack with Liverpool - we’ve seen that before in this fixture - ends with a scramble in the penalty area and a sidefooted shot from Coutinho that is crucially blocked by Alderweireld.

5.42pm GMT

12 min “Nice work, Melania Trump, trying to monetize your position, with the selling of shirts,” writes Sam Bailey. “For shame! It’s a crass cheapening of the mbm seat. You are history’s greatest monster. Harrumph harrumph &c &c. Hon Rev Barnaby L. Philsputtle.”

If you were on Journalism 2017 rates, you’d be doing the same. Next week I’ll be pawning my football VHS collection, starting with Saves Galore 1988-89.

5.40pm GMT

11 min Alli nutmegs Henderson during a hitherto rare Spurs attack. It starts a nice move, all across the field, that ends with Eriksen slicing an awkward bouncing ball miles over the bar from just inside the box.

5.39pm GMT

8 min “There’s only one thing I want as a Liverpool fan,” says Niall Mullen. “That thing we last had when I was 13. Given that the chances of it happening this season are between slim & none, and slim is my codeword for none, then I really don’t care who wins this game. I only hope that there’s some learning to be had to make that thing happen before I retire (die).”

I really thought it’d happen this season. Thing is, think how much better they will be when they start next season with a defence and a goalkeeper. Unless the impatient entitlement of modern football manifests itself in the form of P45, I think they’ll win it under Klopp. It took him a few years to create that brilliant Dortmund team, and he is well on the way with Liverpool.

5.37pm GMT

7 min Liverpool win a corner on the right. Davies at the near post shanks it behind for another corner, which is taken short and ballsed up.

5.36pm GMT

6 min Exclusive Fanzone footage from tonight’s match.

5.36pm GMT

5 min This has been a good start from Liverpool, with some lively play and one beautiful disguised pass from Coutinho that almost put Milner clear. They look right on their game so far.

5.32pm GMT

3 min This new camera angle at Anfield. It’s crap, isn’t it? Won’t somebody think of the couch potatoes when they redesign grounds?

5.32pm GMT

2 min Kane wins an early corner for Spurs. Davies’s inswinger is claimed comfortably by Mignolet. That’s silenced his critics!

5.30pm GMT

1 min It’s a damp, cold night in Liverpool, fresh rain pelting onto the shimmering bald head of referee Anthony Taylor. He blows his whistle to begin the match, and Liverpool kick off from right to left.

5.28pm GMT

Free* retro kits!

In the spirit of minimalism I am getting rid of some original retro kits. If you’re into all that, click here.

5.25pm GMT

“Hey Rob,” writes the Kevin Smith. “I get that Sakho is now out on loan, but I simply cannot understand how the issues around him have got to this point. How is it better to send him out on loan and play Lucas at centre-back? Sakho-Matip seemed like it would be an excellent partnership, and yet it rather looks like they will never play together, for reasons that don’t seem to necessitate shooting oneself in the foot in this manner. Also, the weather in Ottawa this afternoon is grey like England’s stereotype, but around -15, so I could really use a Liverpool win today...”

It’s all me me me. What about that little 112-year-old lady who heads up the Dzalinda branch of the Tottenham Fan Club? Don’t you think she could use a win?

5.02pm GMT

You doubtless know this afternoon’s scores. But if you want to read all about them, you can get some freshly baked match reports here.

4.53pm GMT

Reasons to love Jurgen Klopp, part 92134123402194234

That BetVictor advert
This thoroughly mature reaction to a perceived crisis.

Related: Jürgen Klopp determined to lift Liverpool out of recent freefall

4.35pm GMT

Liverpool (4-3-3) Mignolet; Clyne, Matip, Lucas, Milner; Lallana, Henderson, Wijnaldum; Mane, Firmino, Coutinho.
Substitutes: Karius, Moreno, Klavan, Can, Alexander-Arnold, Origi, Sturridge.

Tottenham Hotspur (4-2-3-1) Lloris; Walker, Alderweireld, Dier, Davies; Wanyama, Dembele; Eriksen, Alli, Son; Kane.
Substitutes: Vorm, Trippier, Wimmer, Winks, Sissoko, Nkoudou, Janssen.

5.01pm GMT

Hello. The world is over, the title race is over and skinny jeans are over. But at Guardian Towers we like to accentuate the positive, so how about this race for fourth place? The fight between five sides for three Champions League sport has been defined by a splendid, old-fashioned unpredictability. At one time or another all five teams have been on long unbeaten or winning runs; all have also been in possession of the Premier League Crisis Baton™.

There are 120 possible permutations of those five clubs for the final 2016-17 league table, all equally credible. It’s a game of snakes and ladders. Liverpool, who were second a month ago, have slipped to sixth after Manchester United’s win over Watford. Spurs, fifth at the turn of the year, sit in second.

Continue reading...

Dan Westwood, the Wolverhampton schoolteacher and non-league scoring machine

Premier League clubs are circling around the former Port Vale and Burton Albion striker with a scoring record of 101 goals in his last 72 games

Dan Westwood is a schoolteacher from Wolverhampton. He also has a part-time job some evenings and weekends: centre-forward for Wolverhampton Sporting CFC, and one of the most relentless goalscorers in non-league football.

Westwood’s record is like something from a computer game. Last Saturday he scored two in a 6-1 win over Gornal Athletic. The first, a brilliant free-kick, was his 100th goal for the club – in only his 72nd game. This season he has already scored 54 times, including five consecutive hat-tricks.

Related: Non-league to Premier League: Jamie Vardy won’t be the last to make the leap

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Egypt 1-2 Cameroon: Afcon 2017 final – as it happened

Vincent Aboubakar’s brilliant late goal gave unfancied Cameroon a deserved victory over a defensive Egypt - and their first Afcon triumph in 15 years

8.56pm GMT

This was supposed to be the worst Cameroon team in a generation. Now they are best in a generation, the first to win this tournament in 15 years. This is a feelgood triumph of the human spirit. Cameroon created nothing in the first half but in the second they were relentless and fully deserved to win. The captain Moukandjo, who played a huge part and created the equaliser, is in tears. Both the goals came from substitutes, Nkoulou and the hugely influential centre-forward Vincent Aboubakar. What a story! Congratulations to Cameroon, commiserations to Egypt. Night!

8.53pm GMT

Cameroon are the champions of Africa for the first time since 2002!

8.52pm GMT

90+4 min There’s a long delay while Bassogog is stretched off. Cameroon had just made their final substitution.

8.51pm GMT

90+3 min Elneny hits the free-kick well over the bar.

8.49pm GMT

90+2 min It’s kicked off! Fai is booked for a foul, then Warda has a shoving match with the keeper Ondoa, who was attempting to waste a bit of time. When it’s all settled, Egypt have a free-kick 25 yards from goal. This might be their last chance.

8.48pm GMT

90 min There will be three minutes of added time. Cameroon are still marching forward. They have been outrageously good in this second half.

8.48pm GMT

Egypt appealed for a high foot when Aboubakar lobbed it over the head of Gabr. I’m not sure. Gabr ducked into the ball and Aboubabakar had every right to go for that.

8.47pm GMT

Aboubakar abracadabrad that goal out of nothing. Siani drove a long pass to find him on the edge of the box, all on his own against three defenders. He took it down with his shoulder, flipped it over the head of Gabr and then contorted his body to hit a bouncing volley across the motionless El Hadary and into the corner.

8.45pm GMT

Vincent Aboubakar has won it for Cameroon with a sensational goal!

8.43pm GMT

86 min For the first time in the second half, Cameroon have started to think about not losing the match rather than winning it. It’s human nature but they will regret it if they end up losing the game on penalties.

8.40pm GMT

83 min We’re into squeaky-bum time. Cameroon are still the dominant time, though Egypt have started to cross the halfway line with a little more frequency.

8.38pm GMT

80 min “I think I agree with your theory about Arsenal achieving exactly what they should achieve,” says Matt Dony. “The true frustration, though, is that they should be in a position to achieve more in the first place. Ozil is (sometimes) one of the best players in the world in his position, Sanchez is the player Liverpool should have bought to replace Suarez, but they have settled for other average players. I dislike Wenger, but he is a great coach and he’s proven with those two he can attract top players, and we’ve always been told they can compete financially with anyone. They should have a whole team of world-beaters. As a club, they’ve quietly accepted Champions League qualification as a goal.”

It’s a really interesting subject. I see your point. They would get less criticism if they finished seventh one year and third the next, but finishing top four every season creates an expectation of improvement. Nobody has time for equilibrium any more, in football or life. We’re addicted to rollercoasters.

8.36pm GMT

79 min Bassogog, just outside the area on the left, plays a superb disguised pass across the box to find Moukandjo in lots of space. He takes the shot first time but the ball bounces awkwardly and it flies high and wide. He might have had time to take a touch, on reflection.

8.34pm GMT

77 min Djoum breaks up an Egypt attack and marches 60 yards to the edge of the area. It’s a great run. Everyone knows he should now pass the ball, but his subconscious is screaming “HAVE A GOOD YOU COULD WIN THE TOURNAMENT WITH A WORLDIE”. He has a go, and it dribbles miserably wide.

8.29pm GMT

72 min Hegazy mistimes a clearance and concedes a corner, a reflection of the constant pressure he and Gabr are under. Moukandjo’s corner is superbly headed away by Gabr.

8.28pm GMT

71 min Salah improvises a brilliant scorpion flick over the head of Oyongo in the box only for Ngadeu to come across and clear. That was brilliant skill.

8.27pm GMT

70 min The lively Moukandjo’s snapshot deflects over the bar for another Cameroon corner. He takes the corner himself and the backpedalling Ngadeu’s looping header is comfortably claimed by El Hadary.

8.26pm GMT

69 min Hegazy heads behind for another Cameroon corner. The Egypt defence is under almost relentless pressure at the moment. Moukandjo’s near-post corner finds the head of Nkoulou inside the six-yard box but he can’t leap high enough and heads over the top. That was a bit of a chance.

8.23pm GMT

66 min Stoke’s Ramadan Sobhy replaces Trezeguet on the left-wing for Egypt.

8.22pm GMT

64 min Cameroon are in complete control at the moment. This is the problem with being quite so brazenly defensive; it can be hard to adjust your approach if you do concede an equaliser. It happened a few times to Sven-Goran Eriksson’s England.

8.20pm GMT

61 min Egypt were asking for trouble with the sheer extent of their defensive approach. They barely bothered to cross the halfway line after half-time.

8.17pm GMT

The goal came from the substitute centre-back Nkoulou! A corner was half-cleared and fed back out to Moukandjo on the left. With no pace on the ball he coaxed a superb dipping cross towards the six-yard line, where Nkoulou towered above Hegazy to plant a downward header into the corner. El Hadary dived posthumously;he wouldn’t have got there anyway. There was a bit of Alonso/Bellerin about the way Nkoulou won that header, albeit without the controversy and the concussion.

8.16pm GMT

Bloody hell, Cameroon have equalised!

8.15pm GMT

57 min The brilliant Salah buys his defence some oxygen with a 60-yard run that ends with a foul by Oyongo. He is a beautiful footballer.

8.14pm GMT

55 min Egypt have basically declared at 1-0. They are barely bothering to attack. It’s a risky tactic, and Barry Davies would be unimpressed, but I suppose they are at least playing to their strength.

8.12pm GMT

53 min “The Spice Boys similarity works up to a point (fun, usually, to watch, but ultimately ineffective), but this Arsenal is much less homogeneously nearly-good,” says Charles Antaki. “Some players are entertaining & skilful and would have fitted into that Liverpool team (say, Bellerin) or would match one or two of the thick-ear ones (say Xhaka for Ruddock). But Sánchez and Ozil are surely in a class distinct from, say, Fowler or McManaman. On the other hand, they seem to be enjoying life a lot, lot less.”

I’m not sure they are, certainly not relative in this league and relative to the rest of the league. At Premier League level, Fowler from 1994-97 was astonishing. Interesting subject though.

8.09pm GMT

51 min Trezeguet fouls Bassogog to give Cameroon a free-kick on the right wing. Bassogog takes it himself; it’s a poor one but hits an unsighted defender and goes behind for a corner.

8.06pm GMT

50 min Cameroon have had most of the ball since half-time, as you’d expect given the scoreline and Egypt’s nature.

8.06pm GMT

49 min El Said drags a long-range volley well wide for Egypt.

8.03pm GMT

46 min Peep peep! Cameroon begin the second half, kicking from left to right.

8.02pm GMT

Cameroon have made a half-time substitution: Vincent Aboubakar replaces Tambe up front.

7.46pm GMT

Peep peep! Egypt are 45 minutes away from another Afcon triumph thanks to Mohamed Elneny’s clever/fortunate (delete as appropriate) goal. It’s been an okay half and Cameroon have had plenty of the ball. The worry for them is that they haven’t look like getting past this terrific Egypt defence. See you in 10 minutes for the second half.

7.44pm GMT

43 min El Hadary gets away with another unconvincing attempt to deal with Oyongo’s deep cross. That, as the commentator on Eurosport says, should be Cameroon’s Plan B in the second half.

7.41pm GMT

41 min This is a good spell of sustained pressure for Cameroon. Egypt still look very comfortable defensively, mind.

7.37pm GMT

36 min Elneny heads a cross behind for a Cameroon corner. It’s drilled towards the penalty box and headed tamely wide by the under-pressure Zoua.

7.35pm GMT

34 min The old man El Hadary comes a long way out of goal and makes a mess of a simple punch. The ball falls to Bassogog, who works the space for a shot on the right-hand side of the box and then smashes it high and wide. It was a half-chance at best.

7.33pm GMT

33 min Egypt are superb at the back - they have conceded only one goal in the tournament - and so far Cameroon have barely looked like winning a corner, never mind scoring a goal.

7.31pm GMT

31 min The injured Teikeu is replaced by Nicolas Nkoulou.

7.30pm GMT

30 min Teikeu looks like he won’t be able to continue. That’s really sad. He is lying on his back, with his hand on his groin. He’s asking for a few more minutes from the medical staff but I don’t think he’s going to get them.

7.29pm GMT

27 min “The invitation to provide an Arsenal joke is tempting,” says Charles Antaki. “But 11 players managed to do that fairly comprehensively yesterday.”

I have a half-baked theory about Arsenal: they are the new Spice Boys. Not in terms of lifestyle and hilariously named horses, but because they are perceived as irritating underachivers when actually they are just achievers. What they do each season is about par, possibly better than par, for the players they have. They are a very good football team, but they just aren’t that good. If they were worse, they would receive less criticism.

7.27pm GMT

26 min Teikeu lands awkwardly and needs treatment around the groin. While he waits for the physio he sits fiddling with his masculinity while the camera lingers on him.

7.25pm GMT

23 min Ondoa was crouching and therefore couldn’t spring to save the shot. It’s hard to know for certain whether Elneny spotted this, but if he did it was a clever goal. Either way it was a nice move, with a couple of classy touches from Salah in the build-up.

7.23pm GMT

Elneny gives Egypt the lead from a tight angle. Salah on the right played an excellent angled pass to find him in space in the box. There wasn’t much on, so he decided to sidefoot a rising shot that beat Ondoa at the near post. Ondoa should probably have done better; Egypt will not give a solitary one about that.

7.22pm GMT

Insert your own Arsenal joke here!

7.16pm GMT

17 min After a passive first 10 minutes, Cameroon are having plenty of the ball now. They’re doing bugger all with it, but come on, baby steps.

7.14pm GMT

14 min Bassogog slips away from Elneny but then batters a shot high over the bar from long-range. I’m not saying you can log off until the penalty shoot-out at around 9.40pm ... but this hasn’t been great so far.

7.11pm GMT

9 min It’s all Egypt. This could be a long night for Cameroon playing like this, although 0-0 draws aren’t exactly without precedent in Afcon finals: four of the last eight have gone to penalty shoot-outs without a goal being scored.

7.07pm GMT

7 min Siani has Cameroon’s first shot, a tame long-range sidefoot that is comfortably saved by El Hadary.

7.07pm GMT

5 min Egypt have started positively, with most of the ball. Cameroon won’t mind that too much.

7.03pm GMT

2 min El Said has a big early chance for Cameroon! After some neat one-touch football, Salah ushered him into the box with a deft touch past the left-back Oyongo. As defenders converged El Said stuck a low first-time shot across goal that was well saved by the plunging Ondoa.

7.00pm GMT

1 min Peep peep! Egypt, in red, kick off from left to right. Cameroon are in green.

6.49pm GMT

The last time Cameroon won this tournament was in 2002, when they sported one of football’s greatest kits: the sleeveless green vest.

6.43pm GMT

“Just a word on the referee Janny Sikazwe tonight,” says Harry Middleton, generously doing my job for me. “The CAF referee committee have assigned the final to Janny Sikazwe from Zambia. He has shown a big development in the last couple of years, in 2015 at his third AFCON he was appointed for the first time into the knockout round. If you do remember his name it is likely from his last final, of the FIFA Club World Cup in Japan. Overall he showed a good performance showing a modern but unobtrusive style, however he was memorable for reaching into his pocket but not cautioning for the second time Sergio Ramos.

“In this championship he has shown three okay performances, including a solid performance at the Quarterfinal between Cameroon - Senegal. Personally I would rather have seen Daniel Bennett referee tonight (he is the fourth official), but regional politics certainly helped Sikazwe, not to say he isn’t a good referee. He is now pretty much certain to go to the next World Cup in Russia. The assistants tonight are Jerson Dos Santos (Angola) and Aden Marwa Range (Kenya). As aforementioned Daniel Bennett (South Africa) will act as Fourth Official. Good luck to the team tonight!”

6.12pm GMT

Egypt (4-2-3-1) El Hadary; Elmohamady, Hegazy, Gabr, Fathi; Hamed, Elneny; M Salah, El Said, Trezeguet; Warda.

Cameroon (4-2-3-1) Ondoa; Fai, Teikeu, Ngadeu, Oyongo; Siani, Djoum; Bassogog, Zoua, Moukandjo; Tambe.

6.08pm GMT

You never get a second chance to make a last impression. The final of a major tournament has a big impact on how history judges that tournament. That’s been a particular problem for the Africa Cup of Nations, whose recent finals have been so tedious as to make the World Cup equivalents feel like orgies of entertainment by comparison. The last eight Afcon finals have produced seven goals, four 0-0 draws and 471,941,865 unplanned naps from those watching on the sofa.

This tournament really needs a good final, because it has not been the best. At least not in terms of basic entertainment. It has produced some cracking stories, however – none better than Cameroon, whose inexperienced team have marched unexpectedly to the final.

11.15am GMT

Rob will be here shortly. In the meantime, why not have a read of Sid Lowe’s interview with Egypt’s Héctor Cúper?

Related: Egypt’s Héctor Cúper: ‘I found a country in need. Sometimes you need that too’

Continue reading...

Leicester City 0-3 Manchester United: Premier League – as it happened

Henrikh Mkhitaryan starred and scored a fine opening goal as Manchester United eased to victory over a dazed Leicester

5.49pm GMT

Peep peep! For 82 minutes the match was uneventful, but a spurt of goals either side of half-time gave United a comfortable win. Henrikh Mkhitaryan was terrific. Leicester look broken mentally and it wouldn’t be a surprise if Claudio Ranieri lost his job in the next week or two. It would be utterly disgusting, but not surprising. Thanks for your company; bye!

5.46pm GMT

88 min Pogba’s low, long-range bullet is well held by Schmeichel, plunging to his right. Schmeichel has had a terrific game and is one of the few Leicester players who looks up for the fight, at least in the football sense. A couple of them look up for some old-fashioned bare-knuckle tomfoolery.

5.45pm GMT

88 min De Gea is booked for perceived timewasting.

5.44pm GMT

86 min Valencia tries to stud a bouncing ball, misses and catches Gray in the chest. He’s lucky not to be booked.

5.43pm GMT

85 min I’m surprised Mkhitaryan doesn’t play more as a No10 for United. That means playing Pogba deeper and omitting Carrick or Herrera, so it’s not a straightforward decision, but Mkhitaryan is so good in that position and has been the best player on the pitch.

5.41pm GMT

84 min Marcus Rashford is replaced by Ashley Young, which might also be interpreted as a stiff two fingers to Anthony Martial.

5.40pm GMT

83 min Valencia’s cut-back is crashed over the bar from 15 yards by Mkhitaryan, who yells with frustration. It was a tricky first-time chance on the run, even for a player of his abundant class.

5.38pm GMT

81 min Pogba turns away from Ranieri, who slips over embarrassingly.

5.37pm GMT

80 min Mkhitaryan takes Herrera’s pass in his stride and surges into the box, where Fuchs makes a brilliant last-man tackle to save a fourth goal. He has had a shocking game but that was superb. Mkhitaryan is so quick with the ball.

5.36pm GMT

79 min This win moves United to within a point of Liverpool and two of Arsenal. The title race may be a non-event because of Conte and Kante but this fascinating battle to finish in the top four is surely going the distance.

5.34pm GMT

77 min Big Fella replaces Mata, who scored the third and put Jamie Vardy in an ejector seat in the first half.

5.33pm GMT

76 min The final indignity for Leicester: Marouane Fellaini is coming on.

5.32pm GMT

75 min Ibrahimovic makes a fool of the inept Ranieri on the right-hand side of the box before being tackled by Morgan.

5.31pm GMT

73 min It’s been suggested that some Leicester players asked the chairman to sack Ranieri. If they do it again, the chairman should gently concur that it is time for a change, and then hand them a personalised P45. Utter gits.

5.29pm GMT

72 min This is very good on referees, from Daniel Harris in the New Statesman.

5.28pm GMT

71 min United don’t seem particularly fussed about scoring a fourth; Leicester are too mentally weary to try to score a first. The next 20 minutes should be great fun!

5.27pm GMT

66 min “Granit Xhaha was given a straight red by Taylor for a tackle that was not as bad as a Mata’s,” says Colin Mackay. “Taylor also gave Xhaha a straight red for a tackle against Swansea earlier in the season. It was identical to one by Matic yesterday, for which he got a yellow (and the tackle was described as clever), while Janmaat did same for Burnley vs Arsenal and got no card at all. Is it really too much to ask that there is some consistency? If a two-footed tackle is an offence, make it a red card or a yellow card, not dependent on what side of bed the ref got out of on the day.”

Referees get things wrong, and always will – even with television replays. They usually make fewer mistakes than anyone else involved in a football match though.

5.25pm GMT

64 min “I think Mkhitaryan would be able to pull off a Yosser Hughes-style ‘tache,” writes Conal Huetter. “Could also easily see Zlatan twirling a handlebar moustache in the manner of Snidely Whiplash or Dick Dastardly.”

5.20pm GMT

62 min Mata misses a sitter. He ran through on goal again after yet more abysmal defending from Claudio Ranieri, who tried to play offside with no pressure on the ball. Mata instinctively decided the best way to beat Schmeichel from a few yards was to lob him; unsurprisingly he couldn’t get the elevation and Schmeichel saved.

5.16pm GMT

57 min Mahrez clips the free-kick through the wall and into the side netting at the near post. De Gea was unsighted, and then gave the wall a serve for splitting as they jumped.

5.14pm GMT

56 min Now Pogba is booked for a sliding foul on Ndidi. Another good decision from referee Anthony Taylor, who is living up to the billing we gave him in his preview essay.

5.12pm GMT

55 min Herrera is booked for a take-one-for-the-team foul on Vardy.

5.12pm GMT

55 min “Rooney would look great with a Merv Hughes,” says Bill Hargreaves.

5.11pm GMT

54 min This could get really messy for Leicester, who have been playing in a daze since that third goal.

5.10pm GMT

53 min “Referee based preview show?” weeps Hubert O’Hearn? “Oh no, it won’t stop there. We’ll soon enough have Calls of the Day in the evening. Tune in to see Mark Clattenburg and Howard Webb on the COTD couch! (I better not have given any broadcaster any ideas.)”

5.10pm GMT

52 min Rashford sweeps a left-footed shot towards goal from a tight angle and Schmeichel gets down smartly to push it behind.

5.09pm GMT

50 min There’s some talk that Mata should not be on the field after that first-half foul on Vardy. It was a really bad tackle but a yellow card was right. The player lucky not to be sent off was Vardy for that unseen kick at Bailly.

5.08pm GMT

It was an easy goal for United. Ibrahimovic and Mkhitaryan combined well to find Mata on the right. He played a square pass to Mkhitaryan, who returned it behind the dithering Fuchs for Mata to sidefoot under Schmeichel.

5.07pm GMT

It’s over. Three goals in seven minutes for United.

5.06pm GMT

47 min “I note the limited reference to # in your comments (I’m using the hash sign to refer to the most expensive player in the world after his most noteworthy contribution to the recent game in Liverpool came via his domination of the advertising hoardings rather than the midfield),” says Niall Sheerin. “I live in France and most everyone I know is flabbergasted by the fee paid for him and Ibra-esque ego for a very ordinary player. Can you explain the omerta surrounding that shameless self-promotion? Whatever happened to “do your talking on the pitch”? What would Roy Keane have to say? Has he ever done anything in red that would suggest he’s fit to wear the jersey?”

Well, yes he has, clearly. But I do take your point. It sounds absurd given the fee but to some extent United bought potential.

5.04pm GMT

46 min Peep peep! Both teams have made half-time substitutions. Leicester have brought on King and Gray for Musa and Okazaki, while Daley Blind is on for Marcos Rojo.

4.53pm GMT

Half-time chit-chat

“Do you think Leicester’s alleged Premiership victory was based on the delivery of a Wigginsesque package that has since been restricted to midweek usage?” asks Ian Copestake.

4.52pm GMT

Peep peep! United were the better side after a good tactical switch from Jose Mourinho, though their two quickfire goals came as a surprise. Leicester have a job on to save the match. See you in 10 minutes for the second half.

4.46pm GMT

45 min Okazaki has a shot blocked by Pogba, and Ndidi’s beautifully struck long-range follow-up is well held by the falling De Gea.

4.46pm GMT

45 min That’s Ibrahimovic’s 20th goal of the season, the first time a United player has managed that post-Ferguson.

4.45pm GMT

2-0! Valencia drags a low cross into the box, and Ibrahimovic reacts quickest to screw a shot through the legs of Morgan and into the net from 12 yards. The wrongfooted Schmeichel had no chance.

4.44pm GMT

It was a splendidly decisive goal. Smalling won a header in midfield and knocked it into the Leicester half. Huth thought he get the ball ahead of Mkhitaryan and lumbered towards it. He thought wrong. Mkhitaryan got there first and was away. He angled his run just enough to keep the covering Morgan out of the game and then, from just inside the box, clipped the ball into the net via the knee of Schmeichel.

4.42pm GMT

Henrikh Mkhitaryan opens his legs and shows his class!

4.38pm GMT

37 min “Good morning Rob,” says Travis Giblin. “At least, it’s good morning from Canada. It may be an indication of my slow morning, what with my wife having taken my kids to their swimming lessons and left me home to fend for myself, but I’m rather looking forward to the match preview of Ref Anthony Taylor. So, when you have a chance…”

You jest. But I give it five years – tops – before referees have their own stats-based preview show every weekend.

4.36pm GMT

35 min Fine save from Schmeichel! Pogba and Ibrahimovic combine well before Pogba plays a sharp pass to Rashford in the box. He controls it on the run and then cracks the bouncing ball towards the near post from 12 yards. Schmeichel, who may have been unsighted, does extremely well to get down to his right and push it round. The corner almost breaks to Pogba at the near post, but doesn’t, so there that goes.

4.31pm GMT

32 min There’s been one shot on target all match, that long-range swirler from Rojo.

4.29pm GMT

30 min United have been the better side since Mourinho’s tactical switch, though almost all of their play has been in front of the Leicester back four.

4.28pm GMT

28 min Mata is booked for an abysmal tackle on Vardy, an unwitting homage to this moment of comic perfection.

4.23pm GMT

23 min United’s first chance. Mata on the right finds Mkhitaryan, who clips the ball first time into a dangerous area near the penalty spot. Rashford runs onto the ball and sweeps a half-volley over the bar. He caught it sweetly but couldn’t control it.

4.22pm GMT

22 min Vardy spins cleverly and plays a good pass to Musa, who is one against one with Bailly in the box. Bailly goes to ground riskily but manages to concede a corner.

4.20pm GMT

20 min United, hitherto dismal in attack, have switched back to 4-2-3-1.

4.19pm GMT

19 min A good free-kick routine from Leicester almost leads to a goal. Mahrez’s short inswinger is looped towards the far post by the head of Vardy, and Mahrez arrives late to head for goal. It hits Pogba and goes behind for a corner.

4.18pm GMT

18 min “It wasn’t me following that feed!” says John Beaven. “It was, er, a friend. Yes, definitely a friend. And not me. At all.”

It’s okay, mid-life crises are trending at the moment. Might as well cash in while you can.

4.17pm GMT

16 min Michael Carrick is having a good game.

4.15pm GMT

15 min Leicester’s house genius Mahrez enlivens the tedium with a nice run infield before screwing a low shot well wide of the far post.

4.14pm GMT

14 min Bailly has a wrestle with Vardy, who has a little kick at him as they roll over by the touchline. The referee didn’t see it but had he done so it would have been a red card.

4.11pm GMT

11 min “That Association Football has had its doors wide to hardcore capitalism for over two decades and there are still people out there who expect its leaders to show nobility is heartwarming,” says Mark Turner. “In a “capitalism still has plenty of people to rip off” sort of way.”

Ha, yes. Football is a despicable industry but I thought Leicester just might be an exception.

4.11pm GMT

10 min Not much is happening. The referee is so bored that he’s called the captain Chris Smalling over to have a word with him about Ibrahimovic, who had a bit of a struggle with Drinkwater in midfield. Is Smalling his interpreter?

4.09pm GMT

8 min “I found some video of the Arsenal defence at their most fearsome and co-ordinated...” says John Beaven.

Enough of that undeniable cuteness, John: why are you looking at a Twitter feed entitled ‘Bitch Problems’? Eh? There goes your knighthood.

4.06pm GMT

6 min Ibrahimovic flicks the ball cleverly to Rojo, who swooshes a first-time shot towards goal from just outside the box. It’s well shot but comfortably saved by Schmeichel.

4.05pm GMT

5 min United break from the Leicester corner through Mata, and Drinkwater takes a booking for the team.

4.04pm GMT

4 min It’s been a bright, aggressive start from Leicester, particularly without the ball. There’s a fine atmosphere too. Leicester’s home form has been very good this season and will surely keep them up. Anyway, Mahrez wanders to the left and plays a dangerous cross towards Huth at the far post. Rojo does very well to head behind for a corner.

4.02pm GMT

3 min If you’re into the whole tactics thing, United have matched Leicester’s 4-4-2: Rashford is up front, Mata right, Mkhitaryan left.

4.01pm GMT

2 min “Howdy from sunny San Francisco. (Actually foggy as Wenger’s visage after the Chelsea defeat but people EXPECT California to be sunny...)” says Jason Omahony. “Anyhoo, totally agree with you; Ranieri deserves the job for life. I doubt it was his decision to sell N’Golo Kanté. But just like Leeds getting rid of another Gallic icon in December ‘92, that sale to Chelsea tore the guts out of a team of Champions and gave a title-winning lift to the buying team.”

That’s interesting. Personally I think the impact of the sale of both Cantona and Kante is massively overplayed. The impact of the purchase of both, on the other hand, cannot possibly be overplayed. As for expectations of California, blame Sandy and Seth Cohen.

4.00pm GMT

1 min Peep peep! Manchester United, in red, kick off from right to left. Leicester are in blue.

3.55pm GMT

“So much bandwidth to Ranieri...” says Manoj Ramarao. “A word or two for the other manager tonight who’s had only a few cups more under his belt, may just be in order.”

Be patient. I’ve written individual match previews for both managers, the 22 players, the 14 subs, referee Anthony Taylor and a few of the commentators. I’m just spreading them throughout the build-up.

3.46pm GMT

“Afternoon Rob!” says Benjamin Dalmont. “I sort of agree with you that football should be more noble and faithful. But everybody (including your intro) makes it sound like it was Ranieri’s own private achievement. Not the players’, not the cryogenic-friendly medical staff’s, not that other madman-who-mentions-ostriches-that-was-there-before’ guy’s achievement for putting that team together and solidifying their team spirit. Really, he let the team that was there when he arrived (including previously identified transfer target Kanté) play to the strengths it was already using during the relegation battle. And in the summer, he let go the team’s best player, without whom their midfield is ghostlike. He was a perfect catalyst for these existing elements, but, come on. This British love of managers, making everything their own private victory or downfall, it’s romantic but a bit much non?”

In defence of, er, me, I did write “what Ranieri and the players achieved”. I agree that the cult of the manager is too great, which is precisely why Ranieri is in danger of the sack.

3.30pm GMT

And on the fifth day everyone said: “cheers God, appreciate everything you’ve done mate, but we’re a bit bored of you now, can you do one?”

Leicester City play Manchester United today, but enough of that. Let’s get something straight: Claudio Ranieri should have a job for life at Leicester. If he wants to manage them until the age of 102, all the way down to the 47th tier of English football amid a series of indefensibly eccentric decisions, he can do that. If he wants to line up today with ten men and his imaginary friend Cecil at left-back, that’s fine.

3.22pm GMT

Leicester (4-4-2) Schmeichel; Simpson, Morgan, Huth, Fuchs; Mahrez, Drinkwater, Ndidi, Musa; Vardy, Okazaki.
Substitutes: Zieler, Chilwell, Benalouane, King, Albrighton, Gray, Kapustka.

Manchester United (4-2-3-1) De Gea; Valencia, Bailly, Smalling, Rojo; Herrera, Pogba; Mkhitaryan, Mata, Rashford; Ibrahimovic.
Substitutes: Romero, Blind, Lingard, Fellaini, Young, Carrick, Martial.

10.28am GMT

Rob will be here shortly. In the meantime, why not have a read of Daniel Taylor’s column on Leicester’s case of Cityitis?

How, after all, do you make sense of a team who stayed up after six months in the relegation zone two seasons ago, won the league by 10 points the following year and now find themselves back in the quicksands?

Who could have possibly imagined, even in the absurd world of football, that Claudio Ranieri could be named as Fifa’s world coach of the year, with all that talk of another statue being commissioned to go with the ones in Leicester’s city centre honouring Gandhi, Richard III and Thomas Cook, and that within a few weeks he would be the bookmakers’ favourite as the next manager to be sent to the guillotine?

Related: Leicester are showing all the symptoms of Cityitis | Daniel Taylor

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Tottenham Hotspur 1-0 Middlesbrough: Premier League – as it happened

Harry Kane’s penalty saw off Middlesbrough and moved Spurs to within nine points of Chelsea

7.21pm GMT

Peep peep! Spurs have kept the title race alive, just about, with a win that was more comfortable than the scoreline suggests. Boro defended very well but had nothing to offer going forward until injury time. Thanks for your company, night.

Related: Harry Kane penalty allows Tottenham to unpick Middlesbrough’s lock

7.20pm GMT

90+3 min Janssen replaces Kane.

7.20pm GMT

90+2 min What a chance for De Roon! He scored a late equaliser at Manchester City and he should have done it here. Fabio lumped a long ball that was flicked on Bamford to Negredo on the edge of the box. He lobbed it gently over the top of the defence for De Roon, who panicked and dragged a miserable volley wide of the near post. He should have scored.

7.18pm GMT

90 min There will be three minutes of added time.

7.17pm GMT

89 min A nervous moment for Spurs. Fabio stands up a cross towards Negredo that forces an unconvincing flap from Lloris. The ball comes to Bamford, whose cross deflects behind for a corner. That comes to nothing.

7.15pm GMT

88 min Another Spurs substitution: Hemel Hempstead’s Harry Winks comes on for the sparkling Dele Alli.

7.13pm GMT

85 min Fabio stands up a cross to Negredo, whose spectacular long-range scissor kick curls a few yards wide. Lloris had it covered.

7.12pm GMT

84 min Alli’s low cross towards Kane is brilliantly intercepted by the stretching Bernardo. The ball deflects to Eriksen, whose vicious follow-up shot hits Fabio and flies wide.

7.11pm GMT

83 min A loose ball breaks to Kane in the box, but he can’t force his way past, er, Dele Alli, who unwittingly got in his way. Spurs should be 2-0 or 3-0 ahead here.

7.08pm GMT

81 min Son, who has had an excellent game, is replaced by Moussa Sissoko.

7.07pm GMT

80 min Boro’s final substitution: Patrick Bamford replaces the fading Traore.

7.07pm GMT

79 min Spurs break three on two. Kane overhits his pass to Alli, who retrieves it eventually and tries to find Eriksen. He can’t control a sharp pass on the run and it runs out of play.

7.06pm GMT

75 min The game is going nowhere at the moment. Boro look shattered.

6.59pm GMT

72 min Spurs are passing time, with Middlesbrough unable to do much about it. At the moment there is no suggestion of a late sting, though you never quite know with Spurs.

6.56pm GMT

69 min If it stays like this Spurs will go nine points behind Chelsea and three ahead of Arsenal in third.

6.55pm GMT

68 min Guedioura shoots from 30 yards. Nah.

6.54pm GMT

67 min Spurs break through Alli and Son, who again beats Bernardo with a stepover before lacing a shot wide of the near post from a tight angle.

6.49pm GMT

62 min Now they are a goal down Middlesbrough have no option but to go to plan B, codename: crossing the halfway line. Downing and Forshaw are replaced by Guedioura and Stuani.

6.48pm GMT

60 min “No match featuring the current Spurs side can be an absolute stinker,” says Phil Podolsky. “They are too easy on the eye and just plain nice.”

Indeed. They are so neat and precise in possession, yet also intrepid and innocent. They’re a neutral’s delight.

6.47pm GMT

59 min Valdes makes an excellent save from Eriksen after an electric counter-attack. Son and Kane worked the ball infield to Eriksen, who made a good run from right to centre but then hit his left-footed shot a bit too close to Valdes. It was still a terrific save though.

6.46pm GMT

That should relax Spurs. The penalty came after a lovely dragback by Son on the left of the box. Bernardo swept his legs away and it was an easy decision for Mark Clattenburg.

6.45pm GMT

Kane scores, sidefooting the ball low to the right. Valdes went the wrong way.

6.44pm GMT

Great feet from Son, who has his legs taken by Bernardo. A clear penalty.

6.43pm GMT

56 min Wanyama tries to something happen, haring into the box onto a return pass from Alli and winning a corner. Eriksen’s outswinger is headed clear.

6.42pm GMT

55 min The usually precise Alderweireld mishits a pass straight out of play and slams the ground with his fist.

6.41pm GMT

53 min Middlesbrough win a corner during a rare meander downfield. Spurs are starting to show their frustration with a few impatient challenges.

6.39pm GMT

51 min Son runs across the line of the box and then lets Eriksen taken over with a fierce first-time shot towards the near post. Valdes gets down smartly to his left to push it wide.

6.36pm GMT

49 min Spurs have made a slight switch, with Eriksen moving to the left and Son to the right. The pattern of play is exactly the same as in the first half.

6.33pm GMT

47 min “I hope this game is an absolute stinker,” chirps Matt Dony, “as I’m not planning on watching Match of the Day tonight. In fact, I refuse to acknowledge that any football has taken place this afternoon. There’s something about Middlesbrough this season. Something Worst-Aspects-Of-90’s-Italian-Football-Boring about them. I grew up playing centre half, and I still get excited about a solid defence (heck, I even enjoyed the 2003 Champions League final!) but even I struggle to warm to this Boro side.”

You’d have loved the 1984-85 Como side. That will always be my fantasy season ticket.

6.32pm GMT

46 min Boro begin the second half, kicking from right to left.

6.27pm GMT

“I am out here in Texas, thinking about lunch options at the break,” says Randy Denton. “A goal is coming along with a sandwich, I am sure.”

It’s a so-called sandwich if you ask me.

6.24pm GMT

“The email silence has three reasons: the title race is done and dusted, the Manu fans are waiting until tomorrow, and we Liverpool supporters are considering new careers as hardened alcoholics,” says Hubert O’Hearn. “Spurs fans are probably watching the match”

6.17pm GMT

An increasingly frustrating half for Spurs, who missed three good chances and were denied by some excellent Middlesbrough defending. If Spurs aren’t careful, this will turn into yet another of those costly draws. See you in 10 minutes for the second half.

6.14pm GMT

44 min Eriksen’s outswinging corner is headed on by Alderweireld and loops gently into the loving embrace of Valdes.

6.11pm GMT

42 min Kane has a goal disallowed for offside! He converted Son’s low cross from a few yards out but was clearly ahead of the last defender.

6.10pm GMT

40 min “Out here,” says Mark Turner. “A match that allows a sofa snooze.”

I was thinking of stealing a few winks myself.

6.09pm GMT

39 min Son, on the left of the box, beats Chambers with a stepover only to splatter well wide at the near post. Boro will be increasingly happy with the way this half has gone.

6.08pm GMT

38 min De Roon is booked for a pull on Alli.

6.08pm GMT

38 min Anyone out there?

6.07pm GMT

37 min Alli lures Clayton in, scoots past him and is fouled. Lovely skill and a free-kick to Spurs just outside the box on the left wing. Eriksen’s ball in is headed clear by Chambers. Attack and defence, invasion and repulsion...

6.05pm GMT

35 min Oh, Harold. That was a great chance for Kane to give Spurs the lead. They zig-zagged smoothly down the left through Davies, Alli and finally Son, who curled a brilliant first-time cross towards Kane. He lost his defender excellently but couldn’t get over the ball and headed over the bar from 10 yards.

6.02pm GMT

32 min Spurs move the ball patiently from left to right and then back to the left, where Son wins a corner. Eriksen’s corner is punched away by Valdes.

6.00pm GMT

28 min For all Spurs’ bright-and-breezy possession, Valdes has only had one significant save to make. Boro are exceptionally good defensively for a team in a relegation battle.

5.56pm GMT

25 min Alderweireld hits the post! Eriksen coaxed a dipping left-wing corner towards him and he flicked a header off the outside of the near post. Valdes was beaten and there was nobody on the post for Boro.

5.54pm GMT

23 min This is a relatively comfortable spell for Boro, with five uneventful minutes drifting by before you can say “You’d better write something, dimwit, this is supposed to be a minute-by-minute report.”

5.48pm GMT

19 min Spurs have had 74 per cent of the possession so far.

5.47pm GMT

16 min Spurs play such neat football, with the attacking three of Son, Alli and Eriksen full of ideas. Alli’s flick frees Walker, whose brilliant near-post cross doesn’t reach Kane because of some muscular defending by Bernardo.

5.45pm GMT

14 min Traore wins a free-kick on the counter. All Boro’s attacks are going through him. He is an enormously exciting prospect who is so quick when he runs with the ball.

5.42pm GMT

9 min Eriksen on the right plays a forensic pass to put Alli through on goal. Alli had to take the shot first time and clipped it into the side netting. Was he onside? It doesn’t matter. It was a beautiful pass from Eriksen; one gentle wave of his left foot took five defenders out of the game. Meanwhile, replays show that Victor Valdes twice put hands in the face of Alli off the ball. He might get a retrospective three-match ban for that.

5.37pm GMT

6 min Alderweireld plays a fine pass to free Davies down the left, and his early low cross just evades Kane in the six-yard box.

5.36pm GMT

5 min Alli wins the ball near the halfway line, strides forward elegantly and plays a lovely angled through pass for Son. He moves into the area and drives a low left-foot shot that is excellently saved by Valdes, plunging to his left.

5.35pm GMT

4 min The first chance falls to Boro. The lively Traore, who isn’t known for his end product, runs at Davies and curls a superb cross towards the far post. Negredo leaps but plants a header over the bar from eight yards. He should have done better.

5.33pm GMT

3 min This so-called football match has started as we expected, with Spurs doing all the attacking.

5.30pm GMT

1 min Spurs, in white, kick off from right to left. Boro are in their dark blue away kit.

5.27pm GMT

“I think Chelsea have the title in the bag,” says Gustav Björklund, “and while I don’t want to claim to speak for a majority of Spurs fans, I’d wager a lot of us would be happy just to finish above Arsenal, and try for the title again next season, with a reinforced and more experienced version of the squad we have now.”

4.36pm GMT

Tottenham Hotspur (4-2-3-1) Lloris; Walker, Alderweireld, Dier, Davies; Wanyama, Dembele; Eriksen, Alli, Son; Kane.
Substitutes: Vorm, Carter-Vickers, Wimmer, Onomah, Sissoko, Winks, Janssen.

Middlesbrough (4-3-3) Valdes; Chambers, Bernardo, Gibson, Fabio; De Roon, Clayton, Forshaw; Traore, Negredo, Downing.
Substitutes: Guzan, Ayala, Leadbitter, Stuani, Bamford, Gestede, Guedioura.

12.42am GMT

Hello. Since the start of last season, Spurs have been the hardest team to beat in the Premier League. Trouble is they’ve also been the easiest team to draw against. Twenty-one of their 61 league matches have ended level, and that’s the main reason their brilliant young team are likely to start next season still looking for their first Premier League winners’ medal.

They can’t afford many more draws if they are to achieve Mission: Nah, Forget It and catch Chelsea. Most of this season’s draws have come on the road, at least, and their recent home form has verged on the scintillating: nine wins in a row, with 28 goals scored, including a delightful trouncing of West Brom in their Premier League match at White Hart Lane.

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Chelsea 3-1 Arsenal: Premier League – as it happened

Eden Hazard’s beautiful solo goal illuminated an emphatic victory that took Chelsea 12 points clear at the top of the league

2.26pm GMT

Chelsea go 12 points clear with an ultimately emphatic victory over Arsenal. They were ravenous without the ball; with it, they had the genius of Eden Hazard, who scored a gorgeous second goal. Marcos Alonso’s opening goal will be debated but the real story is that Chelsea were the better team and are the best team in England by a distance. Thanks for your company, night.

Related: Eden Hazard mesmerises Arsenal to tighten Chelsea’s Premier League grip

2.23pm GMT

90+2 min That Arsenal-

supporting
following moron has his ‘ENOUGH IS ENOUGH, TIME TO GO’ signs on show again. “That guy’s an idiot,” says Gary Neville. Amen to that.

2.22pm GMT

I’m not sure this is even a consolation goal. Monreal’s clipped cross is headed through Courtois by Giroud at the near post. Courtois should probably have done better, but he’ll live.

2.21pm GMT

90 min Diego Costa monsters Mustafi on the left wing, hares into the box and smashes the ball over the bar from a tight angle. He could have given a tap-in to Willian or Fabregas.

2.20pm GMT

89 min Fabregas’s chip is headed straight at Cech by Alonso. This is hard to watch; after a good start to the game for Arsenal, this now verges on humiliation.

2.18pm GMT

87 min Chelsea’s final substitution: Kurt Zouma replaces Victor Moses. This has been a day of perfect revenge for Chelsea after that 3-0 defeat at the Emirates in September.

2.16pm GMT

Gabriel threw the ball back to Cech, who for some reason tried to clear it first time with his left foot. He sliced it straight to Fabregas, who controlled the ball and lobbed it into the open net from 25 yards. That was a complete shocker.

2.15pm GMT

Well that was a complete disaster.

2.13pm GMT

83 min A double change for Chelsea: Willian and Cesc Fabregas replace the excellent Pedro and the entirely magnificent Eden Hazard.

2.10pm GMT

81 min “Hey, Rob!” says Daniel Elseus. “I am watching the game on Swedish television. And everyone in the studio including the commentators thought that it was a free kick. And that the goal should have been disallowed. So maybe there might be some cultural difference regarding what we consider a free kick in Sweden and what you in England consider a free kick. Who knows!”

Yes, very good point. Mind you, I bet Zlatan loved it.

2.10pm GMT

80 min Gabriel concedes a corner with a crucial defensive header which denies Alonso a clear headed chance.

2.08pm GMT

78 min Sanchez retrieves a loose ball on the right and plays it back to Mustafi. His flat cross is helped across goal by the head of Welbeck, and Courtois flings himself to the right to push it away. From the resulting corner, Mustafi thumps a header wide at the near post. He had a clear run at the back, was totally unmarked and should have scored.

2.06pm GMT

76 min “Congratulations to Chelsea,” says Ian Copestake. “They were despicable under Mourinho but this manager makes them spicable.”

The funny thing is that they play just like a Mourinho side.

2.05pm GMT

75 min For the first time in the match, Arsenal look like they are feeling sorry for themselves. This is the end of their title challenge, and it might even be the end of an era. Who knows if Mesut Ozil, Alexis Sanchez and even Arsene Wenger will be there next season.

2.03pm GMT

74 min A frustrated Gabriel throws his arm into the face of Hazard and is lucky not to be booked.

2.02pm GMT

72 min “Gary Neville,” begins Simon Loft. “Why do you keep quoting him? What does he know about football?”

2.00pm GMT

71 min Matic takes a yellow card for the team.

2.00pm GMT

70 min There have been better sides on paper in the last eight years, but on the pitch this Chelsea are probably the best team since English football began its post-Ronaldo lull in 2009. They are so much more than the sum of their parts, which reflects pretty well on their magnificent coach.

1.58pm GMT

69 min Another Arsenal change: Danny Welbeck on, Theo Walcott off. Their formation now a kind of jazz 4-3-3.

1.57pm GMT

67 min Ozil dithers and is robbed by Azpilicueta, a microcosm of the game. Chelsea break again and eventually Alonso’s long-range shot is blocked.

1.55pm GMT

65 min Arsenal are going for it now: Giroud is on for Coquelin. The midfield is Iwobi, Oxlade-Chamberlain and Ozil. “How can Arsenal compete to win a league with that midfield?” says Gary Neville.

1.54pm GMT

64 min Another superb low cross from Monreal flashes right across the face six-yard box.

1.53pm GMT

63 min As Gary Neville says, once Hazard gets into the box with the ball under control, any defender is helpless because they can’t tackle him. It was an absolutely glorious goal.

1.50pm GMT

61 min Hazard leads a three-on-two break but his pass towards Pedro is blocked by Monreal. Pedro would have been in.

1.50pm GMT

60 min This could turn nasty for Arsenal, such is Chelsea’s hunger and proficiency on the counter-attack.

1.48pm GMT

59 min It was supposed to be a six-horse race this season, almost impossible to call. Chelsea have turned it into a canter.

1.47pm GMT

58 min A superb low cross from Monreal almost finds Walcott at the near post. Cahill gets there first to put it behind for a corner.

1.47pm GMT

56 min The close control and balance of Hazard were just wonderful. When his head is right, he is a breathtaking footballer.

1.45pm GMT

Hazard picked the ball up just inside his own half and set off towards goal. He swerved away from Koscielny, held off Coquelin and continued to zoom towards goal. Koscielny got back but Hazard wriggled past him in the area and crunched the ball over Cech from close range.

1.43pm GMT

There’s your answer, Ian McCourt. Hazard has made it 2-0 with a majestic solo goal!

1.42pm GMT

52 min Brilliant play from Kante, who mugs Ozil in a dangerous position and surges towards the edge of the box. He slips the ball through to Costa, who is flagged offside before his first-time shot hits Cech.

1.41pm GMT

Serious question. Who would you rather have in your side?

1.41pm GMT

51 min Hazard Cruyff-turns Coquelin 25 yards from goal but then crashes his shot high over the bar.

1.39pm GMT

48 min The last man Koscielny makes a vital sliding tackle on Hazard 30 yards from goal. Had he got it wrong he would have been sent off.

1.38pm GMT

48 min “If it’s a contact sport, Chelsea’s goal stands - if not, it doesn’t,” says Gary Naylor. “Sometimes players get hurt and I wish Bellerin well, but risk can’t be taken out of the game - the players know that, as shown in the absence of any reaction to the challenge.”

1.38pm GMT

47 min Arsenal have switched to the usual 4-2-3-1, with Ozil behind Sanchez and Iwobi on the left.

1.36pm GMT

46 min Peep peep! Arsenal kick off from right to left.

1.35pm GMT

Also, since when the eff did it become wrong to say you can see both sides of an argument? Are we all Donald Trump now?

1.32pm GMT

“Re: the elbow. Rob, there comes a point where you should stop digging,” says Paul Leighton. “Nuff said.”

Thierry Henry, Graeme Souness, Gary Neville and Lee Dixon all think it was a good goal. Should they stop digging as well?

1.31pm GMT

Token half-time email looking for a row “So it was a perfectly fine goal when it was scored, and at the end of the half, then it was debatable, and now at the halftime, it has been declared to be a controversial one,” says Gary P. “So who makes this call? Someone at the Guardian or all the cacophony from Arsenal fans? Because clearly, you didn’t see anything wrong to begin with.”

Are you thick or just naturally aggressive? A goal can be fine (my opinion) and debatable/controversial (a collection of opinions) at the same time.

1.30pm GMT

“Speaking of Devon Loch and Dick Francis, I think too many people overlook their sterling work in the world of 80s alternative rock as The Lochsies, when Francis went by the moniker Frank Dick,” says Mac Millings. “Oh, and ‘I was reading an old darts article from 2006 this week’ is the Smythiest thing you’ve ever written. Is there an opposite of Pseuds’ Corner?”

1.21pm GMT

Half-time chit-chat

“Dearest Rob,” says Angus Chisholm. “I’m blinkered, but an indirect free kick is meant to be given when there is dangerous play involved: ‘Playing in a dangerous manner is any action that, while trying to play the ball, threatens injury to someone (including the player themself).’ In this case, it didn’t threaten injury; it caused it. The fact that he played the ball successfully shouldn’t be relevant. To put it another way, if Koscielny wins a penalty the other day against Burnley for having studs raked down his face by a defender failing in an attempt to clear the ball (a decision which was generally accepted to be correct), then why wouldn’t a defender earn a free kick for being unfairly whacked in the chops and injured by an attacking player as he attempts to do a goal?”

1.19pm GMT

That was a very entertaining half of football. Chelsea lead through Marcos Alonso’s controversial goal, though Arsenal have had chances to equalise. It’s been great. See you in 10 minutes for the second half.

1.18pm GMT

45+2 min Ozil misses a great chance! Coquelin played a beautiful disguised pass to find him in lots of space on the right of the box. Ozil took his time, had a quick siesta, ghosted across the box and then drove a low shot straight at Courtois.

1.13pm GMT

41 min “The past week included Groundhog Day (again - LOL!),” says Neill Brown. “If that film were being remade by Arsenal, as part of a Premier League live broadcast, would Theo Walcott do anything differently?”

Poor old Theo. I was reading an old darts article from 2006 this week, in which Michael van Gerwen was described as “the Theo Walcott of darts”. How things change.

1.11pm GMT

40 min “You can’t clear out an opponent with a stiff forearm to the ear anywhere on the pitch,” says Ken Dawson. “Alonso even snuck a peek at Bellerin as he approached. Clear red card if you do it near the halfway line.”

Yes I see your point but, rightly or wrongly, the laws have always been interpreted differently in the penalty box.

1.10pm GMT

38 min This has been a cracking half, lurching from end to end at great pace. Now Arsenal are having a good spell - and Gabriel should have equalised. A corner was played short and worked to Oxlade-Chamberlain just outside the box. He played a golf shot behind the outrushing defence and onto the head of Gabriel, whose effort was far too close to Courtois. He was only eight yards out and should surely have scored. Instead it was straight down the middle of the goal and Courtois was able to flap it to safety.

1.06pm GMT

35 min A promising break from Arsenal. Ozil stabs a straight pass towards Walcott, who has the run on Cahill but can’t control it on the stretch. Had he done so he would probably have been able to run through on Courtois.

1.06pm GMT

34 min An extended spell of pressure for Chelsea. This is in danger of turning into Groundhog Deja Vu for Arsenal.

1.04pm GMT

32 min Matic sprays a long pass out to Alonso, who controls it and drills a sharp low cross to Pedro. He sweeps the ball first-time towards goal from 15 yards and Cech makes a bit of a mess of a routine save, fumbling it behind from a corner.

Pedro swings the corner towards the six-yard line and Koscielny, facing his own goal and under all kinds of pressure from Diego Costa, produces a brilliant defensive header.

1.03pm GMT

30 min The pattern of the match is entrenched: lots of Arsenal possession, textbook Contenaccio and, er, Conter-attacking from Chelsea. They are just a superb;y coached team.

1.02pm GMT

29 min Moses is booked for a cynical block on Monreal. The free-kick is wasted. and Chelsea break superbly. Diego Costa has a two-on-one with Pedro but tries to go it alone instead and makes a Horlicks of it. That was unusually wretched from Costa. He had a simple pass on to put Pedro through on goal.

12.58pm GMT

26 min Hazard is starting to trouble Arsenal, particularly on the break. His ability to wriggle away from players is wonderful. Arsenal are still well in the game but Chelsea look more penetrative.

12.56pm GMT

24 min “Alonso didn’t ‘catch him’,” says Colin Mackay, “he cleared him out with an elbow before the header.”

I can see both sides. If Bellerin had been the keeper a foul would obviously have been given, but he wasn’t, at least not literally. If I was an Arsenal fan I’d have heat but you can make a fair case either way.

12.55pm GMT

23 min Mustafi is booked for bulldozing through Hazard.

12.53pm GMT

22 min “In the Football Lexicon, the page for “Football Intelligence” just has a big picture of N’Golo Kante on it, doesn’t it?” says Gary Naylor.

Why the flip did France leave him out at the back end of Euro 2016?

12.52pm GMT

20 min Arsenal started this game well but they had a huge problem now, because Chelsea are the best counter-attacking team in the league. Not to mention the best team in the league.

12.51pm GMT

19 min Diego Costa is in beast mode. He takes a pass from Pedro on the edge of the box, rumbles past Koscielny and rattles a shot into the side netting from a tight angle. Cech had it covered.

12.50pm GMT

18 min An Arsenal corner is half-cleared to Coquelin, who stabs a half-volley over the bar from 20 yards. It was an awkward chance. The more you see the replay, the more you realise that Bellerin had no chance there.

12.49pm GMT

17 min Gabriel replaces Bellerin.

12.48pm GMT

16 min Bellerin is going straight down the tunnel, and at the moment Theo Walcott is playing right-back.

12.47pm GMT

15 min Bellerin is still receiving treatment in the six-yard box. He looks pretty dazed. Alonso did catch him with his arm as he leapt to head the ball into the net.

12.45pm GMT

The goal was created down the Chelsea right. Moses played Pedro into space, and he ran round the ball before crossing first time towards the near post. Diego Costa flashed a majestic header onto the bar, from where the ball looped up in front of an open net with Cech trying to scramble to his feet. It was a contest between Alonso and Bellerin and Alonso won it emphatically, flattening Bellerin and heading into the net. Alonso had a running start, so there was only one winner there. The header from Costa was terrific, as was Alonso’s desire.

12.43pm GMT

Chelsea are in front!

12.43pm GMT

12 min Moses gets away with a nervy header across the line of his area, which almost fell to Sanchez.

12.42pm GMT

11 min A decent chance for Cahill. He beat Mustafi in the air to meet Pedro’s inswinging free-kick, but he got over the ball and headed it into the ground, after which it bounced tamely over the bar.

12.41pm GMT

8 min This has been a terrific start to the match, with both teams full of pep and purpose.

12.34pm GMT

5 min “I wonder if the Devon Loch incident occurred because the horse was being driven by a writer of fiction,” says Ian Copestake. “If you want a drama free run in surely you don’t want Dick Francis as your mount. Am hoping Kante is replaced for this match by Karl Ove Knausgård.”

12.34pm GMT

4 min Now it’s Chelsea’s turn to win a couple of quick corners down the left. This has been a cracking start to the game.

12.33pm GMT

2 min The Arsenal formation is not as advertised in the brochure. They are playing a 4-1-2-3, with Iwobi in midfield and Ozil on the left. And Iwobi almost scores straight away! A dreadful pass from Courtois is intercepted by Ozil, who finds Iwobi just outside the box. His low curling shot takes a deflection and dribbles just wide of the far post. Courtois had slipped and would not have got to it.

12.30pm GMT

1 min Peep peep! Chelsea, in blue, kick off from right to left. Arsenal are in red and white.

12.25pm GMT

Charity department In my finite wisdom, I’ve decided to have a year off booze. If you are feeling generous, or wish to provide a monetary demonstration of your unstinting admiration for my sober endeavours, you can do so here. Cheers!

12.19pm GMT

Prediction

Possession Chelsea 29-71 Arsenal

12.18pm GMT

“With hilarious consequences...” Arsene Wenger is banned from the touchline again today. His seat is - and you’ll like this - in with a load of Chelsea fans.

12.16pm GMT

“It feels like the midweek defeat to Watford derailed Arsenal’s title bid to such an extent that this is a relatively low-pressure match now,” says Phil Podolsky. “In other words, just what they need to perform. In other words, it’s on!”

So that means they’re favourites, which means the pressure is back on, right?

12.06pm GMT

An email! “Typical MBM fails to report that Chelsea are 37 points from securing the title and will need to improve their recent 58% points winning form to 83% to do so,” says Gary Naylor. “Why is this not being reported? FAKE NEWS!”

I blame Bobby Ewing.

11.33am GMT

Chelsea (3-4-3) Courtois; Azpilicueta, David Luiz, Cahill; Moses, Kante, Matic, Alonso; Pedro, Diego Costa, Hazard.
Substitutes: Begovic, Terry, Zouma, Chalobah, Fabregas, Willian, Batshuayi.

Arsenal (4-1-2-3) Cech; Bellerin, Mustafi, Koscielny, Monreal; Coquelin; Oxlade-Chamberlain, Iwobi; Walcott, Sanchez, Ozil.
Substitutes: Ospina, Gibbs, Gabriel, Maitland-Niles, Welbeck, Giroud, Reine-Adelaide.

8.16pm GMT

Hello. This is a must-win match for Arsenal. And Spurs. And Liverpool. And the Manchester clubs. And neutrals. If there’s to be any hope of a title race this season, Arsenal must surely beat Chelsea at Stamford Bridge today. Chelsea don’t play another of the Big Six until they host Manchester City on 5 April; if they avoid defeat today they will probably be on the cusp of their sixth league championship when that match comes around.

A twist should not be completely discounted, if only because the reverse fixture prompted the most significant twist of the season so far. Chelsea were so bad in the first half at the Emirates, when a 0-3 scoreline flattered them, that Antonio Conte switched to three at the back in the second half. Chelsea drew the second half 0-0 and then won their next 13 league games, just because they could, to move well clear of a group who are packed like sardines from second to sixth. Ruined a bloody good title race, Chelsea have.

Related: Chelsea await but is Arsène Wenger finally sensing his own endgame? | David Hytner

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