Rob Smyth's Blog, page 167

The day Curtly Ambrose ripped England to pieces in the West Indies

In this extract from the new book Supreme Bowling: 100 Great Test Performances, Rob Smyth celebrates one of the truly great spells

Most horror movies start cheerily. There will be often be scenes in which the lead characters demonstrate the optimism, innocence and playfulness of youth – and a thoroughly misplaced sense of security. On 29 March 1994, the England team boarded their coach to the Queen’s Park Oval in Trinidad knowing that, all things being equal, they would return that evening drunk on victory and Tetley. Alec Stewart was asked by a Sky reporter how the team would get on. “Don’t worry”, he said, sticking his thumbs up. “We’ll be fine today.” Ten hours later, after his off stump was detonated by the final ball of the day, Graham Thorpe’s blank face told the story of an horrific trauma. England had been sliced and diced by Sir Curtly Ambrose, reduced to 40 for eight in a manner that would have shattered even Kipling’s equilibrium. This wasn’t a case of snatching defeat from the jaws of victory; they’d had glory snatched from them in exchange for humiliation. They never ever saw it coming at all. For a young team starting out under a new captain, it was a terrifying insight into just how tough it can be to win a Test match – especially when you are up against perhaps the greatest match winner of all.

England were given little chance when they travelled to the Caribbean in January 1994. West Indies had not lost a Test series since 1979-80, even if their victories were becoming less comfortable, and had lost only three home Tests in 16 years. England lost more than that in 1993 alone: they were walloped 4-1 at home by Australia, a miserable follow-up to a shambolic tour of India and Sri Lanka in which they lost all four Tests.

Related: Curtly Ambrose: ‘You’re asking me questions I’ve never been asked before’

Related: How Curtly Ambrose, West Indies' silent assassin, became a big noise | Rob Bagchi

There’s not much to say about my innings: I played a little half-hearted shot outside off stump and nicked off. I’d had a reasonable start to the tour having got 96 in Jamaica, and I was disappointed not to kick on from there for the rest of the trip. It was just a quality spell of bowling. There were a few average shots but that’s the pressure he builds. I would put Ambrose and Glenn McGrath in the same bracket. They gave you very little to feed off. Ambrose and Walsh had days when they would alternate – one would be a bit slower, and the next day the other one would do the hard yards. Ambrose was quick. He had enough pace. He wasn’t maybe as quick as Waqar Younis or Allan Donald but he wasn’t far below.

Related: The Joy of Six: great fast-bowling spells | Russell Jackson

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Southampton 3-1 Burnley: Premier League – as it happened

A superb Southampton cruised to victory over Burnley, whose keeper Tom Heaton prevented a rout

5.54pm BST

Peep peep! A very comfortable win for Southampton. Indeed the scoreline flatters Burnley, whose best player was the keeper Tom Heaton. It could have been a rout. The players change, the manager changes, but the Southampton good-news story just goes on. Thanks for your company; goodnight.

5.51pm BST

90+1 min The impressive debutant McQueen puts over a superb cross from the left towards Rodriguez, whose volley is well saved by the admirable Heaton.

5.49pm BST

90 min There will be five added minutes.

5.48pm BST

89 min Another good save from Heaton, who pushes Ward-Prowse’s deliberate curler round the post.

5.48pm BST

88 min Tadic’s fast inswinging corner is headed fractionally wide by Fonte, who growls with frustration at the missed opportunity.

5.46pm BST

87 min Southampton’s final change: James Ward-Prowse replaces Redmond, who has probably been the Man of the Match.

5.45pm BST

86 min This win will lift Southampton from 12th to eighth. Burnley will stay 14th unless they concede two more in the last few minutes.

5.43pm BST

84 min That was almost 4-1. Davis went on a long, lung-busting run before finding Martina on the right of the box. His cross was diverted back to Davis, who drilled a low shot just wide of the far post.

5.41pm BST

82 min “Can we have a shout out to Francis Benali?” asks Sarah Tipping “He’s just done a 1000-mile run and cycle around every ground in the premier and championship to raise cash for cancer research. Then celebrated by having a little jog around the stadium at half time. Text FRAN to 70200 to donate a fiver. Benalisbigrace.com.”

Yes, amazing stuff.

5.39pm BST

81 min Patrick Bamford replaces George Boyd for Burnley.

5.39pm BST

79 min Hendrick shepherds the ball out, thinking it’s a corner for Burnley. Mike Dean gives a goalkick. The game is petering out despite that goal for Burnley.

5.36pm BST

77 min Mike Dean hasn’t given a penalty for five minutes.

5.35pm BST

76 min The impressive Romeu shuffles forward and thrashes a few yards over the bar from long range.

5.33pm BST

74 min “Rob,” says Matt Loten, “given the intermittent form of Townsend, Walcott (in an England shirt), Lingard and Oxlade-Chamberlain, who were all included in the most recent England squad, do you think it’s time to give Nathan Redmond a chance on the international stage? He’s pacy, has two quick feet, he can cross the ball, and he’s capable of getting goals. For my money he’s a better option than at least a couple of those alternatives named above. Far more intelligent player than Walcott and Lingard, has more strings to his bow than Townsend, and Oxlade-Chamberlain can’t even get on the pitch for Arsenal most of the time.”

Yeah I like him a lot, though it might be difficult to pick him on the wing when he’s playing up front for his club. There is a lot of class about the way he plays, certainly more than the four players you mentioned, with the possible exception of Oxlade-Chamberlain.

5.32pm BST

Vokes puts his penalty straight down the middle. Actually, having seen the replays, Tadic didn’t pull any shirts. He was penalised for a block on Mee. I can see why it was given but it also feels a bit soft.

5.31pm BST

Don’t pull an opponent’s shirt when Mike Dean’s in town. Tadic has done so, and it’s a penalty to Burnley.

5.30pm BST

71 min Southampton make a change too, with Jay Rodriguez replacing Charlie Austin who turned a sow’s ear of a first half into a silk purse.

5.28pm BST

70 min Burnley make a change, with Gudmundsson replaced by Michael Kightly.

5.27pm BST

68 min Marney is booked for clattering Van Dijk. That was a filthy tackle.

5.26pm BST

Austin sends Heaton the wrong way, and Southampton have the three points.

5.25pm BST

The young substitute McQueen makes a good run behind Gudmundsson, who clumsily brings him down.

5.24pm BST

63 min Boyd slips in his own area, which allows Davis to get away a shot that is well blocked by Mee. This is turning into a miserable experience for Burnley. They are barely getting a kick and have another 27 minutes to survive.

5.21pm BST

All that pretty passing, and Southampton have scored two goals from corners. A group of players near the penalty spot missed Clasie’s left-wing corner, and Redmond backpedalled quickly before rattling a fine low shot through Heaton from 15 yards.

5.19pm BST

60 min The score has changed but the game hasn’t. Southampton continue to press, and after nice play from McQueen and Redmond, Tadic’s lofted shot is tipped over by Heaton.

5.17pm BST

56 min Away goals have been a problem for Burnley this season - they’ve scored the square root of bugger all - and it’s hard to see them getting back into this. They haven’t had a shot on target, although they should have had a first-half penalty.

5.14pm BST

53 min You have to admire Austin’s persistence, because he had a shocking first half and looked like a pub player with a vile hangover. But if you look in the book now, it says 1-0 (Austin).

5.12pm BST

Charlie Austin is deadly from 0.2 yards. The chance came when a deep corner from the right was headed down by Van Dijk into the six-yard box. It ricocheted to Austin at the far post and, though his first shot was blocked, he managed to force the ball through Lowton on the line at the second attempt.

5.10pm BST

50 min Heaton’s long free-kick bounces dangerously in the Southampton area, and Vokes is in the process of shooting on the turn when Austin comes on the blindside to make a vital interception and concede a corner.

5.08pm BST

49 min Tadic is booked for a bad tackle on Mee.

5.07pm BST

49 min The second half has started as the first ended, with Southampton applying plenty of pressure. Martina shanks a shot wide in the comedy style from the right side of the box.

5.04pm BST

46 min Peep peep! Southampton begin the second half, kicking from left to right.

4.51pm BST

Half-time reading

Related: Referee Anthony Taylor could do without old grey whistlers’ comments | Daniel Taylor

4.50pm BST

Peep peep! Southampton have had the possession and the chances, but Tom Heaton has made a number of saves ranging from comfortable to awesome. See you in 10 minutes for the second half.

4.48pm BST

45+4 min Boyd is injured in a block tackle with Fonte. The Southampton fans boo him. Then Heaton does well to hold a sweet long-range strike from Van Dijk.

4.47pm BST

45+1 min Another near miss for Southampton. The excellent Redmond twists Ward one way and then the other before battering a shot towards goal. Heaton can’t hold it and it slithers towards the far post, where the stretching Austin bundles the loose ball wide. I think that was a slightly trickier chance than it looked for Austin, but he has still had a pretty miserable half.

4.45pm BST

43 min “I used to like Southampton,” says Phil Podolsky, “but with those new allegations that they were instrumental in wrecking the Middle East, have close ties to the worst actors in the 2008 financial crisis, hold a deep disdain for leftism and believe their duty is to manage the electorate’s expectations downwards, I think I want to review my position!”

I didn’t say it was a great Hodgkin’s.

4.42pm BST

41 min Defour makes an excellent interception and injures his hamstring in the process. That’s a big blow to Burnley and he won’t be able to continue. Aiden O’Neill replaces him.

4.41pm BST

38 min “Re Burnley’s defensive line, they’re not a tribute act to Everton’s in 1985 are they?” asks Gary Naylor. “With different laws and interpretations and without Kevin Ratcliffe, I’m not sure it’s going to work.”

Buying Andre Gray because he sounds like Andy Gray is a tribute too far.

4.37pm BST

36 min Redmond, on the left of the box, makes space with some sleight of hip and leathers a shot towards the near post that is beaten away by the impressive Heaton.

4.36pm BST

33 min Mike Dean declines the opportunity to give a penalty when Gudmundsson goes over in the area. Southampton break and Tadic curls a brilliant long pass to put Austin clear, 25 yards from goal. His first touch is poor, his second mediocre and his third abysmal, a miserable shot dragged well wide of goal. That was unusually indecisive from Austin. Replays, meanwhile, suggest Burnley should probably have had a penalty. Gudmundsson tried to run through a group of Southampton defenders and was sent flying by Van Dijk. I don’t think he had the ball under control but I’m not sure that matters.

4.33pm BST

31 min Fraser Forster welts a backpass downfield so effectively that it puts Tadic through on goal, and Heaton stays tall to make an excellent save.

4.30pm BST

29 min Defour is booked by Mike Dean for a bad tackle on Redmond.

4.28pm BST

28 min Martina is penalised for a foul throw. Mike Dean looks at him like he’s just soiled himself in a public place, with a delicious combination of pity and contempt.

4.27pm BST

27 min I don’t know what to say. Nothing whatsoever is happening. Southampton have been pretty bright in possession but they have struggled to get behind the Burnley defence.

4.26pm BST

25 min Meanwhile, here are two reasons to love Francis Benali.

Words fail me when it comes to describing the mental strength and selflessness of @FrannyBenali @BenalisBigRace ends today #cheerhimhome

4.23pm BST

22 min “As a Portsmouth fan,” says Matt Loten, “that save could only have been better had it come from the gloves of the great David James himself (don’t laugh). On a serious note though, I have to say I’m more than a little envious of the fans of our south coast neighbours, who somehow continue to enjoy, season in, season out, attractive, possession-based, successful football. I don’t know how they managed to develop a monopoly on intelligent, underrated managers, but fair play to the board.”

Indeed. Southampton feel like the Hilary Clinton in a league of Donald Trumps.

4.23pm BST

21 min Southampton have lost their way for the time being, and with Burnley a limited attacking force, the match is not doing much to the viscera just now.

4.21pm BST

20 min Vokes chokes a 15-yard volley wide of the near post from Ward’s cross.

4.20pm BST

19 min “Now honestly - 4-D-2,” says Daniel Barnett. “Is this really a thing? When did this happen? I feel my grip on the beautiful game loosening season by season. This may or may not be a metaphor for general human decline, but still.”

It’s not a thing. Not yet. That said, 4-1-2-1-2 looks like a fitness instruction, so there’s no easy way of demonstrating a diamond midfield. Tactics can be so challenging, so cruel.

4.19pm BST

18 min As is sometimes the case, Southampton have struggled to pick up where they left off before the extended break in play caused by Targett’s injury. Burnley are having a good spell of possession, albeit harmless.

4.16pm BST

16 min “And you’d know all about strong wrists, wouldn’t you Rob?” says Peter Ewart. “Fnarr, Fnirp etc....takes himself off to the naughty step.”

4.15pm BST

14 min Targett can’t continue and is being helped from the field. Sam McQueen replaces him; this is his Premier League debut.

4.13pm BST

12 min There’s a break in play while Targett receives treatment, so let’s look at another great save from the past.

4.11pm BST

10 min “Don’t forget to give a shoutout to today’s referee, Mike Dean,” says JR in Illinois. “You can’t shame him unless you first name him. Dean is tied for sixth with The Clattenburg so far this season in average yellow cards doled out at 4.0 per game. Who is leading, you ask? That would be Kevin Friend at 5.75.”

And he’s got the nerve to call himself ‘Friend’.

4.10pm BST

8 min Burnley are under enormous pressure already. That save, though. You can never be sure, such is the human tendency to get carried away in the moment, but that looked comparable to Peter Schmeichel’s legendary save against Rapid Vienna in 1996. Niall Quinn, commentating on Sky, went further by comparing to Gordon Banks.

4.08pm BST

5 min Tom Heaton makes an unbelievable save from Austin! That’s probably the save of the season, already. Targett’s excellent cross from the left was headed down firmly by Austin on the six-yard line, and Heaten showed brilliant reactions to plunge to his left and then outstanding strength of wrist to get the ball round the post.

4.06pm BST

4 min Southampton have settled into their usual passing groove. It’s slick, confident stuff.

4.04pm BST

3 min Austin plays a give-and-go with first Redmond and then Tadic before winning the first corner of the game. It’s headed clear.

4.02pm BST

2 min Nothing has happened so far. In other news, look at this thing of beauty.

4.01pm BST

1 min Peep peep! Burnley kick off from left to right.

3.49pm BST

An email! A bloody email!

“Afternoon Rob,” says Simon McMahon. “As a keen follower of Scottish football it’s nice to see that some of the talent at Southampton that has brought them success in recent seasons has moved south from Scottish football. Forster, Van Dijk, Davis, Wanyama (now of course at Tottenham). Although I’ll bet Joey Barton wishes he had stayed at Burnley, eh?”

3.08pm BST

Southampton (4-D-2) Forster; Martina, Fonte, Van Dijk, Targett; Romeu; Clasie, Davis; Tadic; Austin, Redmond.
Substitutes: McCarthy, Yoshida, Long, Rodriguez, Ward-Prowse, Hojbjerg, McQueen.

Burnley (4-2-3-1) Heaton; Lowton, Keane, Mee, Ward; Defour, Marney; Boyd, Hendrick, Gudmundsson; Vokes.
Substitutes: Flanagan, Kightly, O’Neill, Bamford, Robinson, Tarkowski, Arfield.

2.56pm BST

The Southampton team news is in, and this is what Mauricio Pochettino has gone for: Forster; Clyne, Van Dijk, Lovren, Shaw; Schneiderlin, Wanyama; Bale, Tadic, Lallana; Mane.

You can make quite a team out of the players and managers who have been at Southampton in the last decade. Yet no matter how often they are raided, they just carry on as the admirable, quiet achievers of the Premier League. They have had a decent start to the season under Claude Puel and look good to set a club record by finishing in the top ten for the fourth consecutive season. This is a golden period in Southampton’s history.

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England prepare for trial by India’s testing Ravichandran Ashwin | Rob Smyth

On current form the spinner, who has developed a Glenn McGrath-like knack of removing the opposition’s best player, is a captain’s dream – a stock strike-bowler

How good is Ravichandran Ashwin? To some the question is rhetorical, to others interrogative. After another spectacular performance against New Zealand, he is No1 in the ICC Test bowling rankings, and will surely make life very unpleasant for England’s batsmen this winter. Yet this is not a straightforward case of a spinner achieving greatness. The enormous disparity between his record at home and abroad means that Ashwin is often disparaged by one little phrase: rough-track bully.

His overall record is astonishing. He has taken 220 wickets in only 39 Tests, and has won four consecutive man of the series awards – a feat that only Malcolm Marshall and Imran Khan had achieved. He takes wickets in industrial quantities and his record is that of a mini-Murali. In the past 50 years, only Muttiah Muralitharan has taken five-fers and ten-fers with such frequency; and of those spinners with 100 Test wickets in the same period, only Murali has a lower average than Ashwin’s 24.29.

Related: Ravichandran Ashwin guides India to innings victory in West Indies

Related: MS Dhoni biopic: a treat for fans of bombastic moviemaking and montages | Andy Bull

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Crystal Palace 0-1 West Ham United: Premier League – as it happened

Manuel Lanzini’s lovely goal gave West Ham a vital and deserved victory at Selhurst Park. despite the dismissal of Aaron Cresswell

7.23pm BST

That feels like a huge moment in West Ham’s season. In fact, it feels like the start of their season. They showed their class in the first half, when Lanzini scored a lovely goal, and their resilience and spirit in the second when Palace bombed them and Aaron Cresswell was sent off. The three centre-halves all played well but Winston Reid was magnificent. Thanks for your company, night.

Related: Manuel Lanzini sparks West Ham into life with win over Crystal Palace

7.21pm BST

West Ham end their miserable run with a fine victory.

7.21pm BST

90+3 min Great save from Adrian! Townsend hit a wicked inswinging cross from the right that was headed towards goal from close range by the stretching Wickham at the far post. Adrian reacted superbly to tip it over the bar.

7.18pm BST

90+1 min There will be four added minutes.

7.18pm BST

90 min A superb deep cross from Cabaye is headed by Benteke onto Nortdveit and behind for a corner. Adrian claims the corner superbly under pressure. I’d like to see that again but the first header looked like a really good chance for Benteke.

7.15pm BST

88 min Another West Ham change: Havard Nordtveit replaces the goalscorer Lanzini.

7.15pm BST

87 min Calleri draws a witless foul from Delaney to buy West Ham a bit of time.

7.13pm BST

86 min Another West Ham substitution: the willing Zaza is replaced by Jonathan Calleri.

7.12pm BST

85 min Obiang has had an outstanding game in midfield for West Ham. Meanwhile, Benteke’s snap-volley from 18 yards bobbles well wide.

7.11pm BST

83 min West Ham have gone to a 4-4-1/8-0-1 formation now. Cresswell’s two yellow cards look more scandalous with each viewing. We’ll hear plenty about them if West Ham don’t win.

7.08pm BST

81 min A brilliant inswinging corner from Puncheon is headed over by Benteke, six yards from goal. He should have scored. Adrian came from the ball and was nowhere near it, so there was a lot of the goal to aim at.

7.05pm BST

78 min Dimitri Payet, who was majestic in patches, is replaced by Edimilson Fernandes.

7.05pm BST

77 min The more I see that second Cresswell incident, the less sure I am that it merited a yellow card. And as for the first one.

7.04pm BST

76 min The resulting free-kick is taken by Cabaye, and dips over a number of heads before hitting the unsighted Tomkins and dribbling towards goal. Adrian moves smartly across his line to save.

7.03pm BST

That is incredible. Cresswell gets his second yellow card in a minute for fouling Zaha on the right wing. Hmm. That one is probably a yellow card but the first looked harsh.

7.02pm BST

74 min Payet’s corner flashes across the face of his goal and is headed off the post by Antonio! Cresswell is then booked for diving in the area after a challenge from Cabaye. There might have been contact you know.

7.00pm BST

73 min Zaza runs 30 yards to win the ball off Puncheon, starting a move that eventually leads to a West Ham corner. Zaza certainly has galootish qualities but his work-rate is so impressive.

6.59pm BST

71 min Puncheon’s deep cross is headed back across goal by Benteke, and Reid chests it back to Adrian from six yards. That was superb defending, if not good for the blood pressure of the average West Ham fan.

6.57pm BST

70 min Wickham replaces McArthur, so Palace will switch to a 4-4-2 formation now.

6.57pm BST

68 min West Ham are hanging on a little now, and Palace are preparing to bring on Connor Wickham.

6.52pm BST

64 min This is Palace’s best spell of the match, and Opta stats show that 94.21 per cent of West Ham fans just know their team will lose 2-1. Zaha appeals for a penalty after falling over in the box. No dice, soldier.

6.49pm BST

62 min Ogbonna is booked for fouling Zaha on the right wing. “I hate to say it but that’s a brilliant foul,” says Owen Hargreaves on BT, and he’s right because Zaha was breaking into a very dangerous area.

6.46pm BST

59 min Zaza has put in an heroic shift up front. If he can get some confidence back he will become a West Ham cult hero.

6.44pm BST

58 min Townsend curls straight at Adrian from 25 yards.

6.44pm BST

55 min Another chance for Payet! Lanzini surged through the Palace defence and, though he overran the ball slightly, he was able to slide and steer the ball back to Payet as Mandanda came to meet him on the edge of the six-yard box. Payet took his time before hitting a shot that Mandanda did well to beat away.

6.42pm BST

54 min Cabaye steals possession inside West Ham’s half before shooting well wide from 20 yards. He has given Palace’s midfield a bit more urgency.

6.40pm BST

52 min Antonio goes on a brilliant run infield before finding Zaza in the box. He gets it back on to his left foot but takes too long and eventually his shot is blocked.

6.39pm BST

51 min That was a chance for West Ham. Lanzini clipped a lovely first-time pass over the defence to put Payet clear on the right of the box, but Payet’s first touch was fractionally heavy and Mandanda came from his line to claim the ball.

6.37pm BST

49 min It’s been an excellent start to the second half by West Ham, who are pressing Palace high up the pitch at the moment.

6.35pm BST

49 min “What do you make of Bilic?” says Matt Collins. “Is he as great as his personality suggests, or will he join Pardew, Zola and others as a manager capable of one good season with West Ham but no more?” I think he’s better than that. In a sane world he would be West Ham manager for the next 10-15 years.

6.35pm BST

48 min Benteke is booked for inflicting pain on Winston Reid.

6.33pm BST

47 min “Accidentally wandered into a pub full of south London winners here in NYC watching the game and having a massive row about who is/was better - Messi or Maradona,” says Rachel Clifton. “Only momentarily paused by that bloody terrible penalty.”

She didn’t say ‘winners’. Also, anyone who thinks Messi is better than Maradona should be banned from flapping their gums for a week.

6.32pm BST

46 min Peep peep! West Ham begin the second half, kicking from left to right.

6.32pm BST

Palace have made a double half-time substitution: Yohan Cabaye for Joe Ledley, and Zeki Fryers for Martin Kelly.

6.28pm BST

Half-time chit-chat

“Evening Rob,” says Matt Loten. “As we approach half-time in what has been a thoroughly entertaining day of football, I feel as though today’s fare has perfectly encapsulated the promise that this season held before it kicked off. Just the odd point separating the teams as the top; Guardiola and Koeman engaged in the sort of continental tactical battle we’ve sorely lacked for years; Arsene Wenger suddenly deciding the league is competitive enough to bother with; and goals flying in left, right and centre. Could this be the most exciting iteration of the Greatest League in the World ™ since football began in 1992?”

6.19pm BST

Benteke heads against the outside of the post with the last touch of the half! Palace came to life in the last couple of minutes and would be level but for a comedy missed penalty from Benteke. Adrian had already dived to his right, so Benteke only had to roll the ball into the other side of the net. Instead he put it wide.

See you in 10 minutes for the second half.

6.16pm BST

Oh my goodness. Benteke strolled towards the ball, sat Adrian down, and then sidefooted wide of the post!

6.15pm BST

Ogbonna is penalised for a stupid tackle on Benteke.

6.15pm BST

44 min Lanzini plays a neat give-and-go with Zaza and wallops a low shot from 25 yards that is well held by Mandanda. Zaza has his limitations, particularly from 12 yards, but he is admirably game.

6.13pm BST

43 min Ward bursts down the right to win a corner for Palace. Puncheon’s inswinger is headed clear by Kouyate.

6.11pm BST

40 min “In Zurich train station (bahnoff!) using the free wi-fi to get the football scores,” writes PB. “I’m specifically in the customer service lounge because it’s warmer than being on the main concourse. Everyone might well be nattering about West Ham but I don’t speak German so it’s difficult to tell.” Is anyone jogging on the spot? If so it’s almost certainly a tribute to Zaza in the form of physical banter.

6.11pm BST

39 min Palace have had more of the ball but only the most one-eyed eejit would deny that West Ham have been the better side. Palace

must
need to find a way to get Benteke into the game.

6.08pm BST

37 min A superb outswinging corner from Payet is headed down into the ground by a combination of Zaza and Ward, from where it bounces onto the roof of the net for another corner. That one is headed away.

6.05pm BST

36 min “I’m out here!” writes Chris Lewis. “In Tehran actually. Currently two weeks into a tour of Iran, lovely country and I’ve never been anywhere where the people are so friendly. When I mention I’m from England all they want to talk about is football. I say I’m a West Ham fan and Paolo Di Canio’s name invariably comes up but Payet’s name soon follows. Payet’s genius has reached Iran.” Any mention of George Parris?

6.04pm BST

33 min Payet’s booming inswinging free-kick from the left is headed a few yards wide by Zaza, jockeying for position near the penalty spot.

6.00pm BST

30 min Thus far West Ham, and Reid in particular, have handled Benteke excellently.

5.59pm BST

28 min Lovely play from Townsend, who beats Cresswell with a stepover and floats an inviting ball beyond the far post. Zaha was coming in on it but Noble got there first to head behind for a corner.

5.57pm BST

27 min Townsend on the right swings a long, inswinging cross towards the far post, where Kouyate does superbly to head clear despite having Benteke’s elbow in the side of his face.

5.56pm BST

26 min Anyone out there?

5.55pm BST

25 min Palace win their first corner, which will be taken by Puncheon on the right. Reid heads clear.

5.54pm BST

21 min It’s still hosing down at Selhurst Park, and so far the pitch has held up extremely well.

5.50pm BST

Cresswell and Payet combined on the left, with Payet doodling for a bit before slipping it down the line. Cresswell sidefooted a fierce low cross towards the near post, where Lanzini, arriving late into the box, opened his body to steer the ball into the far corner. It was a lovely finish and a lovely cross from Cresswell, who has had a storming start to this game.

5.49pm BST

West Ham take a deserved lead with a terrific goal.

5.46pm BST

17 min Payet is so good to watch. There hasn’t been a player like him in the Premier League since Matt Le Tissier.

5.45pm BST

14 min Payet’s right-wing corner slithers through a couple of defenders at the near post, and Antonio is in the process of attempting to hook it towards goal when Ledley puts it behind for another corner. That was a crucial interception. Payet’s outswinger is met by the head of Kouyate, who heads it whence it came and just wide of the post. West Ham have been terrific thus far.

5.42pm BST

11 min It really is John Cusack weather at Selhurst Park. In an ideal world, all football would be played in pouring rain.

5.41pm BST

9 min Zaha misses an excellent chance for Palace. Townsend’s long-range shot was blocked by Reid, with the ball rebounding to Puncheon near the halfway line. He slipped a fine through pass to Zaha, in all sorts of space just inside the box. Zaha got the ball out of his feet efficiently enough but then dragged a low shot a few yards wide of the far post from 15 yards.

5.39pm BST

8 min West Ham will be pleased with this start. Palace haven’t been able to build anything resembling pressure, whereas West Ham look dangerous. An elaborate drag-flick from Payet finds Lanzini, who tries to slide it through to Zaza. The big man is on his heels and the moment passes.

5.37pm BST

6 min After another good run from Cresswell, Zaza’s low shot from 18 yards is comfortably held by the tumbling Mandanda.

5.35pm BST

4 min Cresswell marauds into space down the left onto Obiang’s insouciant pass, leaving Zaha in his slipstream before rifling a rising shot into the side netting at the near post. Mandanda had it covered but that was a decent effort and a fine run.

5.34pm BST

3 min The keeper Mandanda has just dribbled past Zaza. That’s the highlight so far.

5.32pm BST

2 min The West Ham team looks so much stronger with Cresswell and Lanzini in the starting XI. If they restore some order to their season in the next month, they could still easily finish in the top seven. But if they don’t, and somebody does something silly involving Slaven Bilic and a P45, they could end up reliving the nightmare of 2002-03.

5.30pm BST

1 min Martin Atkinson puts his whistle to his lips, and Crystal Palace kick off from left to right. They are in red and blue; West Ham are in white.

5.27pm BST

“Bilic played this system in the win over Spurs in March,” writes our very own Jacob Steinberg. “Didn’t work against Arsenal in April, though.”

5.25pm BST

Any mention of the history of this fixture usually means one thing: everybody starts googling pictures of Neil Shipperley.

5.22pm BST

It’s pelting down at Selhurst Park. This match was always likely to be on the primal side, and the rain will help with that.

4.41pm BST

Crystal Palace (4-2-3-1) Mandanda; Ward, Tomkins, Delaney, Kelly; McArthur, Ledley; Zaha, Puncheon, Townsend; Benteke.
Substitutes: Hennessey, Fryers, Cabaye, Lee, Sako, Wickham, Campbell.

West Ham (3-4-2-1) Adrian; Reid, Kouyate, Ogbonna; Antonio, Obiang, Noble, Cresswell; Lanzini, Payet; Zaza.
Substitutes: Spiegel, Nordtveit, Feghouli, Collins, Fletcher, Carreri, Fernandes.

3.59pm BST

Hello. After all their problems at the London Stadium, West Ham might be quietly glad of an away game. But they won’t find much goodwill at Selhurst Park, where Crystal Palace would derive considerable pleasure from keeping their London rivals in the relegation places.

Palace are in terrific form, unbeaten in five after losing their first two league games, while West Ham have been fifty shades of shambles for most of the season. They will hope that Dimitri Payet’s amazing goal two weeks ago, which gave them a point against Middlesbrough, is a turning point in their season. If they keep losing, however, it won’t be long before somebody utters the phrase that has chilled West Ham fans since 2002-03: that they are too good to go down.

Continue reading...

Chelsea 3-0 Leicester City: Premier League - as it happened

Leicester’s desperate away form continued as Chelsea eased to victory through goals from Diego Costa, Eden Hazard and Victor Moses

2.20pm BST

That’s it. A very comfortable win for Chelsea, who continue their recovery after that miserable night at Arsenal. There were a number of outstanding performances, most notably from Kante, Moses, Luiz, Pedro and Hazard. There’s plenty still to do but Antonio Conte is starting to shape the sort of team he wants. Leicester are still trying to work out what you do after the greatest Lord Mayor’s Show in the history of Lord Mayor’s Shows. Thanks for your company, bye.

Related: Leicester’s woes continue as Hazard, Costa and Moses fire Chelsea to victory

2.17pm BST

88 min As you probably know, Leicester have lost four games already this season, more than throughout 2015-16. They’ve also conceded 13 goals in four away games; last season they conceded 18 in 19. They have different priorities now, and it’s hard to criticise them for that.

2.15pm BST

87 min “Pacy wingers with bad brains should all be converted into wing-backs,” says Phil Podolsky. “Not too late for Theo, is it? Oh.”

He should have become a specialist substitute five years ago. I mean that; there’s so much glory to be had.

2.12pm BST

85 min Drinkwater thrashes a 20-yard shot that deflects wide off Azpilicueta. Mahrez’s corner comes to nothing.

2.10pm BST

82 min A double Chelsea substitution: Hazard and Moses off, Loftus-Check and Aina off. Moses received a lovely reception as he left; he’s come from nowhere to become a really important player in this system.

2.08pm BST

Victor Moses seals the match with a wonderful goal! Moses, who has had a fine game at wing-back, came infield from the right and squared the ball to Chalobah on the edge of the area. Chalobah produced an ingenious first-time backheel put Moses clear, a moment of such dizzying brilliance that at first it was hard to be sure he meant it, and Moses passed it through Schmeichel from close range.

2.05pm BST

78 min After a nice run across the face of the area, Matic’s low shot deflects off Morgan and is turned round by Schmeichel.

2.03pm BST

77 min “That bad language,” says Stuart Jenkinson. “To be fair, it could just have been a vocal South African discussing what Kasper is and isn’t able to do...”

2.03pm BST

76 min Oddly, Leicester have looked much less dangerous since the introduction of Mahrez and Slimani, who haven’t been able to get into the game.

2.01pm BST

75 min “I’ve been thinking for awhile now that the fall of Leicester and last year’s flattening of Chelsea was because of the extreme difficulty of a ‘once more unto the breach’ mentality of summoning up a title defence,” says Hubert O’Hearn. “Now I believe I know what’s missing. Neither side has or had that true, obsessive, midfield general along the lines of Souness, Roy Keane or the subtler yet no less dominant Frank Lampard. Patrick Vieira would count too, although Arsenal never had a successful title defence. The laissez-faire Yaya Toure or Cesc Fabgregas don’t quite get it done. Do you think I’m onto something?”

I do agree that players like that are crucial in terms of maintaining and even increasing standards, though you need a lot more than just one player with that attitude. Defending a title is incredibly difficult; the fact three astonishing Arsenal teams couldn’t do it is the best example of that. Plus you don’t have to be a tough guy to have those standards; look at Xaviesta for example.

2.01pm BST

74 min Leicester make their final substitution: King replaces Albrighton, who has been terrific since half-time.

2.00pm BST

73 min Morgan clears off the line to deny Kante a goal against his old club! Costa’s cross was only partially cleared by the outstretched leg of Schmeichel, and Kante’s instant follow-up would have gone in but for Morgan’s block.

1.59pm BST

72 min Costa and Conte are having words about something or other. Costa wants to be subbed; Conte has reminded him, possibly via the medium of the four-letter word, who is the manager of Chelsea Football Club.

1.57pm BST

71 min Chelsea have had a lot of nearly moments on the break in the second half and there’s another, with Costa combining well with Hazard before being dispossessed in the area by Fuchs.

1.55pm BST

68 min Chelsea make a change as well, with Nathaniel Chalobah replacing the lively Pedro.

1.54pm BST

67 min Leicester make a double substitution: Slimani for Musa, Mahrez for Schlupp.

1.53pm BST

66 min Leicester are about to bring on Mahrez. The change in this game has been enormous. They must have had a rare old rollocking at half-time.

1.52pm BST

65 min Sky’s Rob Hawthorne has just apologised “if you heard any bad language from our pitch microphones”. Oh we heard it.

1.51pm BST

63 min Leicester, for all their improvement, haven’t really troubled Courtois as yet. They almost did then! Albrighton on the right played a stunning low cross towards Vardy on the six-yard line, and the stretching David Luiz diverted it onto his own post! Chelsea break, at which point the pitch mic captures somebody shouting “SCHMEICHEL YOU CAHNNNNNT!”

1.48pm BST

62 min You know when you see your ex for the first time since they dumped you, and they look bloody hot? Well Kante is having a storming game today.

1.46pm BST

58 min This has unexpectedly turned into a fine, end-to-end game. If Leicester get one, and then bring on Mahrez, anything could happen.

1.44pm BST

57 min Schmeichel keeps the game alive with a fine save from Moses. It came from a Leicester corner. Kante went on a ludicrous 70-yard surge down the left before playing a fine pass to find Moses in the centre. His crisp sidefooted shot was going in but Schmeichel got down excellently to his right.

1.43pm BST

57 min “Unless one of the biggest come-backs against the run of play is about to happen, Leicester will have more defeats after week eight than they had in the whole league campaign last season,” says Admir Pajic. Wow, I bet that hasn’t happened for ages, eh? “That hasn’t happened since...well, last season when Chelsea suffered their fourth league in week eight at home to Southampton.

1.41pm BST

55 min Another penalty appeal, with Alonso’s cross hitting the sliding Huth. In fact it hit his chest rather than his arm anyway.

1.40pm BST

54 min “Perhaps Leicester should have implemented a radical strategy to counter the inevitable difficult second album season (or non-pick up of free downloads) by having two managers,” writes Adrian de la Touche.

Why not? It worked well for England in Slovakia.

1.39pm BST

53 min Albrighton makes space on the edge of the area and drives over the bar. Leicester’s performance since half-time suggests the application of the hairdryer by Claudio Ranieri. They are playing with much greater vigour and purpose; they’re playing like Leicester, basically.

1.37pm BST

51 min Azpilicueta is booked for sliding through Musa.

1.36pm BST

48 min I completely missed a Chelsea appeal for a penalty after nine seconds of the second half, when Pedro’s shot hit the arm of Fuchs. And now Leicester have had a strong appeal turned down by Mr Andre Marriner. Schlupp went at Moses, who ran across him and bounced Schlupp to the ground. I think I’d have given a penalty there, though it wasn’t clear cut.

1.32pm BST

47 min “I’m just emailing so you’ll have someone to quote apart from Ian Copestake and Gary Naylor,” says Roy Allen. “What have Leicester lost? Hunger? Edge? Kanté? Underdog status? Element of surprise? All of the above?”

Yep, all of those and more. It can’t be a coincidence that Leeds and Blackburn were also very strong at home and utterly abysmal away from home when defending their titles.

1.32pm BST

46 min Peep peep! Chelsea begin the second half, kicking from left to right.

1.18pm BST

Related: Ronald Koeman: Pep Guardiola was my protege; now he is the best manager

1.17pm BST

Peep peep! That was a stroll for Chelsea against a Leicester side who were somewhere between apathetic and pathetic. Who cares, they won the league last year, and that is worth a million 2-0 half-time deficits. See you in 10 minutes for the second half.

1.15pm BST

44 min “Is it safe to start up the patronising again with ‘Little Leicester’ like we did in the good old days of 2014?” asks Gary Naylor. “How about punctuating every conversation about football with “It’s all about money”, as 606 callers (and pundits) did in all shows from about 1995 until 2015? And is it too soon for a clumsy, but somehow apposite, “Jamie Vardy’s having a wake” song? See, that’s what the newscycle does these days - nostalgia is a matter of weeks not generations.”

I told you all after the pre-season draw against Celtic: Ranieri should be sacked. He’s taken the club as far as he can.

1.14pm BST

43 min Hazard, who is doing whatever he wants, zips infield and has a shot blocked on the edge of the area. If Chelsea can be bothered - and they have no midweek game to worry about - they could at least double this score in the second half.

1.11pm BST

41 min Another swirling free-kick from Luiz is beaten away by Schmeichel. It was close to him but moving wickedly so he decided to punch rather than catch.

1.10pm BST

39 min This is a decent spell for Leicester. Albrighton’s inswinging corner from the left is sliced back across his own area by Alonso at the far post, and David Luiz heads it behind for another corner. That one is punched clear by Courtois.

1.09pm BST

38 min A quarter-chance for Vardy, who moves towards Hernandez’s low cross at the near post, but the sliding David Luiz does enough to put him off and the ball runs across the area.

1.07pm BST

35 min “Why,” asks Ian Copestake, “has the Washington Post not released footage of Trump with Saint & Greavsie?”

1.04pm BST

This is going to be a rout. Huth and Hernandez get in the way of each other as they try to intercept a Matic through pass. It comes to Pedro, who helps it on towards Hazard. The ball hits Hazard in the head and bounces nicely beyond the last man Fuchs. Schmeichel comes out but Hazard gets there first, moving smoothly around the keeper before sidefooting into the net. That was a lovely finish.

1.02pm BST

32 min Huth is very lucky not to be sent off for deliberate - well, instinctive - handball as Costa tries to flick the ball past him.

1.01pm BST

31 min “Hello, Rob,” says Admir Pajic. “Well, at least Leicester fans can console themselves with a competent European campaign comparing to Leeds’ and Blackburn’s awful Champions League experience.”

Indeed. No chance they’ll win it but I reckon they’ve a slight chance of getting to the semis and a decent one of getting to the quarters.

12.58pm BST

27 min Huth is booked for putting his considerable bodyweight on Eden Hazard’s right foot, through his studs. The free-kick is 25 yards out, to the left of centre, and David Luiz sidefoots it against the post! That was a beautiful effort, wobbling and swirling all over the place. Schmeichel leapt to his right but couldn’t get there and it clattered off the post.

12.56pm BST

25 min Chelsea look so much better with a back three. Part of that is just because it feels right for a Conte team, but this formation suits the players he has so much better than 4-2-3-1. It’s a slightly odd take on the system, with three centre backs and two defensive midfield players, but it’s working fine for now.

12.53pm BST

23 min Chelsea aren’t creating many chances, yet their dominance and Leicester’s submissiveness are such that a second goal feels inevitable.

12.51pm BST

21 min In Premier League terms, Leicester are on their summer holidays already. That’s not a criticism; it was never going to possible to successfully follow what they achieved last season. I think they are right to chuck it all on the Champions League. Who cares whether they finish 17th or seventh this season? But if they get to the quarters or semis of the Champions League, they’ll remember it forever.

12.49pm BST

19 min Kante plays a beautiful, Giresse-like chip over the top of the defence to find Hazard, who tries a first-time volley on the turn but can only loop it straight up in the air for Schmeichel to claim. It was a really difficult chance because of the trajectory of the ball and the angle of his run.

12.48pm BST

18 min The Chelsea dominance continues. Vardy and Musa haven’t been in the game at all.

12.45pm BST

14 min After the goal, the Chelsea fans were singing: “Champions of Europe, you’ll never sing that.” What a charmless, confused attempt at oneupmanship.

12.44pm BST

13 min It’s probably no coincidence that, when the last surprise champions Leeds and Blackburn endured miserable title defences, their away form was shocking. It looks like Leicester’s season will follow a similar pattern.

12.42pm BST

12 min Leicester are all over the place. Hazard teases Hernandez on the left of the box and whacks a dangerous low cross that is booted clear by Morgan in his own six-yard box.

12.41pm BST

11 min Kante is being booed by the Leicester fans. Why can’t we all just get along?

12.41pm BST

9 min “Why is there a snowman in the top corner of the MBM?” asks Ed Rostron. “Is it somehow connected to the app on my phone deciding to prioritise Australian League stories above everything else?”

If I tell ya ... I’d have to have a vague clue as to the answer. Which I don’t, sorry. You’re welcome!

12.39pm BST

Hazard’s low corner was flicked on daintily by Matic ahead of the near post, and Costa ran behind the daydreaming Morgan to rifle through Schmeichel at the far post. He had a ridiculous amount of space, with all the other players drawn towards the near post and Costa’s marker Morgan having a time-out to think through the ending of The Night Of. Hideous defending.

12.37pm BST

Leicester concede from a set-piece yet again.

12.36pm BST

7 min The marauding right-back Victor Moses runs down the right and drills a cross that deflects off Fuchs and is turned round the near post by Schmeichel. But then...

12.36pm BST

6 min Hazard runs menacingly at Morgan 25 yards from goal, opens up his body to shoot - and screws an abysmal effort about four miles wide of the far post.

12.34pm BST

5 min The pattern of the match is as we expected: Chelsea having lots of possession, with Leicester defending deep and aiming to use the comical pace of Vardy and Musa on the break.

12.32pm BST

4 min “I think Leicester are looking to mess with all our heads by getting relegated while winning the Champions League,” says Ian Copestake, “so they can be automatically parachuted up into the Europa League and play on Thursdays and Fridays.”

12.32pm BST

3 min: BREAKING TACTICS NEWS Albrighton is actually playing on the left, with Schlupp in the ersatz Mahrez role on the right.

12.30pm BST

2 min “Not a lot to say about today’s match except it does seem odd with a shade less than 20% of the season played that the past two champions are already in a joust for the Europa League,” says Hubert O’Hearn. “Speaking of unwanted competitions though, I’ve been wondering about the EFL Cup. On the one hand, it’s nice that the League Cup doesn’t have the label of a lager or bank slapped across it, but how should we pronounce EFL? Is it Evil Cup (nice ring to it, insert appropriate Mourinho joke), Eiffel Cup (non non, tout francais), or Eff All Cup? You can guess which one I hope grabs the public interest.”

I can think of one way to jazz it up.

12.30pm BST

1 min Peep peep! Leicester, in red, kick off from left to right. Chelsea are in blue innit?

12.25pm BST

Injury/clear-out update

Here’s Doremus Schafer: “According to Chelsea’s Twitter account: ‘Ivanovic, Mikel & Fabregas are unavailable today due to minor muscle injuries. Oscar has flown back to Brazil due to family illness’.”

12.16pm BST

An email “I am perplexed how Fabregas and Oscar do not make it on the bench today,” says Leön Kalema. “If they are not injured then Conte is making a statement. Ohhh I had even forgotten Mikel and Ivanovic. Hahaha the exodus we have been waiting for is coming.”

I’d rather get on the bad side of Antonio Conte than Keyser Soze, but it’s touch and go.

11.51am BST

Pre-match viewing

Related: Desert fire: the world cup rebels of Kurdistan – video

11.35am BST

Chelsea (3-4-3) Courtois; Azpilicueta, David Luiz, Cahill; Moses, Kante, Matic, Alonso; Pedro, Diego Costa, Hazard.
Substitutes: Begovic, Aina, Terry, Chalobah, Loftus-Cheek, Batshuayi, Solanke.

Leicester (4-4-2) Schmeichel; Hernández, Huth, Morgan, Fuchs; Albrighton, Drinkwater, Amartey, Schlupp; Musa, Vardy.
Substitutes: Zieler, King, Simpson, Slimani, Gray, Ulloa, Mahrez.

10.49am BST

Hello. The context of today’s meeting between Chelsea and Leicester City demonstrates the good and bad of the Premier League. The good: the league is so unpredictable that the last two champions can meet with no serious prospect of winning the league this season. The bad is that the football at the top end has been of such low quality – compared to the other big leagues, and the Premier League from 1997 to 2009 - that these teams could win it in the first place.

Leicester know how the Stone Roses felt in the early 1990s. You can’t follow last season’s triumph, so they haven’t bothered. Their league season is already over and their collective subconscious has widely adjusted its focus to the Champions League; their season will be defined by an intrepid run to the quarter-finals of that competition.

Continue reading...

Germany v Czech Republic, Scotland v Lithuania: World Cup qualifying – as it happened

James McArthur scored a late equaliser with his shoulder to spare Scotland’s blushes, while Robert Lewandowski’s hat-trick beat Denmark

9.39pm BST

All five matches have ended. The scores are below, and I’m off to watch the darts on delay. Sssshhh. Thanks for your company, goodnight!

Group C

9.38pm BST

That’s it. A very frustrating night for Scotland, though it could have been worse.

9.38pm BST

How did that stay out! A Scotland corner was headed across the box and looped towards his own goal by a Lithuania defender, and it was brilliantly cleared off the line.

9.36pm BST

Kyle Lafferty gets his second in injury time to give Northern Ireland an emphatic win.

9.33pm BST

There will be five minutes of added time at Hampden. Scotland push forward to such an extent that Lithuania have a three-on-one break, but the ball in from the left is dreadful and Scotland escape.

9.32pm BST

James McArthur equalises with his shoulder! Hanley flicked on a long throw and McArthur put it in at the far post. He went with his head, mistimed it and shouldered it past the keeper. Who cares how he scored it.

9.30pm BST

There should be a couple of days of added time, such has been the Lithuanian timewasting since they scored, but I wouldn’t get your hopes up.

9.29pm BST

Why can’t Scotland enter the Kirin Cup again?

9.28pm BST

Jamie Ward completes a comfortable night for Northern Ireland, arriving late beyond the far post to finish emphatically after Lafferty had headed Ferguson’s ball across the box.

9.26pm BST

Lithuania’s playacting in the last 15 minutes has been both pathetic and comically brazen. It’s like the set of Reservoir Dogs.

9.23pm BST

Lithuania are wasting time at every opportunity, which has darkened the already pitch-black mood at Hampden.

9.22pm BST

Kyle Lafferty secures the win for Northern Ireland.

9.21pm BST

Words are so 2015

3-0
Muller: ⚽️⚽️
Kroos: ⚽️
pic.twitter.com/pur5Zd7Jw6

9.21pm BST

A great chance for Griffiths! Snodgrass picked him out with a gorgeous left-wing cross, and Griffiths headed too close to the keeper from 10 yards.

9.19pm BST

Slovenia, who play England in the week, have taken the lead against Slovakia. Rok Kronaveter, who has only just come off the bench, scores with a brilliant first-time finish from 20 yards.

9.16pm BST

Denmark, who were 3-0 down, have pulled it back to 3-2. Yussuf Poulsen was the scorer, smuggling the ball in from close range.

9.15pm BST

That was almost a second for Lithuania. Cernych again broke behind the defence, and as the ball bounced up he leathered it just wide of goal.

9.14pm BST

Lithuania are camped in their own third of the pitch now. From Bannan’s corner, Paterson’s header hits the arm of Vaitkunas, though he knew nothing about it.

9.12pm BST

Scotland have had a few near misses and don’t deserve to be behind, but they are and this would be a desperate result. Gordon Strachan is about to make his last substitution: Leigh Griffiths on for Matt Ritchie.

9.11pm BST

“Can you give Begbie a call please?” says Simon McMahon. “No, really.”

9.10pm BST

The world champions are cruising to victory. Ozil releases Hector, whose fast low cross is turned in at the near post by the alert Muller.

9.05pm BST

With half an hour remaining, these are the latest scores.

Group C

9.04pm BST

What a chance for Scotland! The superb Robertson breaks down the left again. His cross is palmed clear to Forrest, whose vicious half-volley flies fractionally wide of the far post. He probably should have scored.

9.01pm BST

Oh, Scotland (reprise)

9.01pm BST

This is a fantastic goal. Cernych plays a lovely one-two with Slivka, spinning in behind to receive the return pass before whistling a shot past Marshall at the near post.

8.58pm BST

Another Scotland change, with James Forrest replacing Oliver Burke.

8.57pm BST

Kamil Glik gives Denmark a bit of hope with a slapstick own goal, looping a perfectly placed header over Fabianski and into his own net.

8.56pm BST

Scotland come close again, with Chris Martin flashing a fine header this far wide of the far post.

8.56pm BST

This is a nice goal from Toni Kroos, a first-time sidefoot right into the corner from the edge of the area. That was a pass, not a shot.

8.55pm BST

Robert Lewandowski bulldozes forward from the halfway line before clipping a shot in off the near post to complete yet another hat-trick.

8.54pm BST

“I think installing Begbie as Scotland manager might be something of a backward step,” says Ian Copestale. “I mean, imagine the team-bonding exercises.”

You’d also have to add ‘flick-knife wound’ to the glossary of football injuries.

8.52pm BST

A lovely move from Scotland ends with Snodgrass’s first-time shot being headed away by Girdvainis. Hard to know whether the keeper had it covered or not.

8.50pm BST

Lithuania almost take the lead. David Marshall gets down sharply to his left to make an excellent save from Novikovas.

8.49pm BST

“My feeling is Schmeichel’s complaint was about the start-stop way Lewandowski approached the ball,” says Mateusz Bobrowicz. “I’m watching the game in a Greek bar in Crete with no commentary so I have no one to tell me what to think. Much like Ben Kenobi to the rebellion, you are my only hope. Was it an infringement or not?”

I’d need to see it again but I think it was during the run-up and therefore okay.

8.47pm BST

Time for some more football. Scotland have made a half-time substitution, with James McArthur replacing Darren Fletcher.

8.35pm BST

“The Baggie boys in central defence are dominating those primadonnas from San Marino,” says JR. “Those guys think they’re so great just because they have full time jobs. They’re all just headphones.”

That’s my new favourite term of abuse. I couldn’t care less what you think, mate. You’re nothing. You’re headphones.

8.34pm BST

Half-time reading

Related: England make hard work of seeing off Malta in Gareth Southgate’s first game

8.33pm BST

Peep peep! That’s the end of a disappointing half for Scotland, who rather scandalously are booed off by some supporters. These are the half-time scores in the five Uefa qualifiers:

Group C
Germany 1-0 Czech Republic
Northern Ireland 1-0 San Marino

8.31pm BST

It could be worse for Scotland. Lithuania could easily have had a penalty a moment ago for a clumsy tackle by Bannan on Cernych.

8.30pm BST

“I’d happily have Begbie as Scotland manager,” says Simon McMahon. “‘Nae **** leaves this dressing room until we’ve qualified fir the next ****** World Cup.’”

8.27pm BST

Lewandowski is Danish kryptonite: he scores his second from the penalty spot, sending Schmeichel the wrong way. Schmeichel charges from his goal to complain about something, encroachment perhaps, and is booked.

8.24pm BST

Burke has come to life with a couple of explosive runs in the last few minutes, one of which ended with a penalty appeal that was rightly turned down.

8.21pm BST

There’s a very nervous atmosphere at Hampden. Scotland have at least managed to silence the home crowd. Oh.

8.18pm BST

“No doubt the Ballon d’Or select of 2026 will isolate themselves from society by actually living in glass sealed bubbles, which they will only exit two seconds before kick off,” says Jack McCullough, envisioning future football nadirs. “Also their transparent football slippers, velvet interchangeable hair pieces and their constant appearance in hovercraft advertisements won’t endear them to the public.”

8.17pm BST

Snodgrass is starting to influence the game in his new No10 role. He is such a classy player.

8.13pm BST

Northern Ireland, attempting to reach the World Cup for the first time since 1986, have finally taken the lead against San Marino through Steven Davis’s penalty.

8.12pm BST

Snodgrass’s lovely cross-pass is volleyed not far wide by Martin, who did well to get a shot away while a Lithuanian defender was practising various wrestling manoeuvres on him

8.10pm BST

Poland are ahead against Denmark. Robert Lewandowski sidefooted through Kasper Schmeichel from close range after superb wing play by the talented Kamil Grosicki.

8.07pm BST

This is going to be a nervy night for Scotland. Lithuania look vaguely competent on the counter-attack, although Scotland have come closest to scoring with Paterson’s header.

8.04pm BST

The first goal of the night has been scored, unsurprisingly, by Germany, and even less surprisingly by Thomas Muller.

8.00pm BST

Callum Paterson heads just wide from a long free-kick. Just before that, Vaitkunas was booked for a cynical block-cum-elbow on Robertson.

7.59pm BST

“You do know that Charles Jahja Surja works for the Telegraph?” says Ian Copestake. I bet he doesn’t have to do two clockwatches in three days, does he.

7.58pm BST

Lithuania are having a decent spell, to the audible dissatisfaction of the crowd. I’d love to hear Francis Begbie’s thoughts on the Scotland team’s attempt to qualify for the World Cup since 1998.

7.56pm BST

“Good day,” writes Charles Jahja Surja. “I am writing you this letter because I do have a legitimate business proposal which I would like to bring to your personal edification and I would be most grateful if you can send me a reply immediately showing your interest in my proposal.”

7.54pm BST

Gordon Strachan, while naming an unchanged side, has switched Robert Snodgrass and Oliver Burke, so Burke is playing on the right and Snodgrass is behind Chris Martin.

7.54pm BST

After seven minutes, there are no goals in any of the five matches. Which, while making my job an easy one, is not exactly conducive to prose-based entertainment.

7.50pm BST

“Hawrite Rob!” says Ryan Dunne. “Strachan’s condemnation of tattoos and headphones is arrant nonsense; presumably Messi and Ronaldo would need to buck their ideas up to make a Wee Gordy XI. David Beckham’s work ethic and professionalism surely put many a Brut-wearing, short-back-and-sides, tattoo-shunning Proper Football Man to shame.”

7.48pm BST

Scotland have an early free-kick in a dangerous position on the left. Ritchie’s deep free-kick is headed wide by Hanley.

7.46pm BST

Peep peep! The five matches are under way. Let’s watch some clocks!

7.44pm BST

“This is Scotland’s time,” announces Simon McMahon. “I mean, look at our group. If we can’t qualify from that, we might as well give up. Or hope that Fifa press ahead with a 211-team tournament.”

7.42pm BST

Essential pre-match listening

7.35pm BST

An email! “Gordon Strachan is seriously limiting his choices not liking players with tattoos or who wear headphones!” says Brian McAllister. Maybe he needs to be more tolerant and remember the daft footballler’s mullet he had in the early eighties.”

This makes you wonder: as every generation is hard-wired to unapologetically despise the generation after them, what did older people find offensive about 1980s footballers? And what will a 50-year-old Aaron Ramsey/Mario Balotelli/Wayne Rooney find distasteful about the footballers of the 2030s? After flourescent boots, briefing and #hashtags, surely football is all nadired out.

7.32pm BST

If you are into Scottish football, present and past, you should read this and watch this. Both are superb.

7.13pm BST

Slovenia v Slovakia team news

Slovenia (4-1-3-2) Oblak; Struna, Samardzic, Cesar, Jokic; Krhin; Kurtic, Birsa, Verbic; Ilicic, Bezjak.

7.11pm BST

Northern Ireland v San Marino team news

Northern Ireland (4-2-3-1) McGovern; McLaughlin, Evans, McAuley, Ferguson; Davis, Norwood; McGinn, Ward, Dallas; Magennis.

7.07pm BST

Germany v Czech Republic team news

Germany (4-2-3-1) Neuer; Kimmich, Boateng, Hummels, Hector; Khedira, Kroos; Muller, Ozil, Draxler; Gotze.

7.05pm BST

Poland v Denmark team news

Poland (4-4-2) Fabianski; Piszczek, Glik, Cionek, Jedrzejczyk; Blaszczykowski, Krychowiak, Zielinski, Grosicki; Lewandowski, Milik.

7.02pm BST

Scotland (4-4-2) Marshall; Paterson, Martin, Hanley, Robertson; Snodgrass, Fletcher, Bannan, Ritchie; Burke, Martin.

Lithuania (4-4-2) Setkus; Vaitkunas, Freidgeimas, Girdvainis, Slavickas; Cernych, Zulpa, Kuklys, Novikovas; Valskis, Slivka.

6.54pm BST

The four early games have just finished. England were comfortable winners over Malta, a match you can revisit with John Ashdown’s MBM report.

Azerbaijan 1-0 Norway

6.51pm BST

Hello and welcome to Season 18, Episode 2 of sport’s most bittersweet love story: Scotland and the World Cup. After a series of heartbreaking and sometimes absurd first-round eliminations between 1974 and 1998, they have failed to qualify for the last four tournaments. They continue to show up with love in their heart and puppy-dog enthusiasm on their coupon, however, and they started this campaign by thrashing Malta 5-1, a match in which Robert Snodgrass may have scored one of the goals of the season.

If Scotland are to qualify for at least the play-offs, they probably have no margin for error in matches against the smaller sides. They host Lithuania tonight, one of five fixtures which kick off at 7.45pm BST:

11.56am BST

Hello. Rob will be here shortly. While you’re waiting, why not take in Nick Ames’ excellent interview with Scotland’s Oliver Burke?

When England came calling, there was only one thing Oliver Burke could say. He was preparing to make his debut for Scotland and it was the first he had been told of any interest from the Football Association when he heard, at second hand, there were two nations courting his allegiance.

England’s curiosity was valid – Burke was born in Kirkcaldy but moved to Melton Mowbray with his English mother as an infant – but the horse had bolted and within days he would be appearing for Gordon Strachan’s side towards the end of a 1-0 win over Denmark.

Continue reading...

Bangladesh v England: first one-day international – live!

Follow all the action from Sher-e-Bangla National Cricket StadiumEngland happy with underdog status for first ODI in BangladeshAnd feel free to email rob.smyth@theguardian.com

9.34am BST

1st over: England 5-0 (Roy 3, Vince 1) The bustling Mortaza starts the series with a wide. There’s a great atmosphere, even though the ground is nowhere near full yet, and there’s an excited shrill when Roy flails outside the line of a wide delivery from Mortaza. Five from the over.

“Frankly, I’m worried,” writes

Adrianna La Cerv
a David Horn. “We bat deep, but that bowling attack looks weak to me. Rashid & Ali will surely be meat & drink in this part of the world. Which prompts me to ask: why, whenever we tour spin friendly countries, where home batsmen are well schooled in facing spin bowling, do we think that the best thing to do is stock our ranks with comparatively mediocre spin bowlers? I understand about the workloads / heat / etc. for the quicker bowlers, but if I was a Bangladeshi or Indian batsmen I wouldn’t be losing sleep about facing Rashid & Ali.”

9.28am BST

(Optional) lunchtime reading

I had a lot of fun working on this feature about Duncan Spencer, England’s lost fast bowler of the 1990s. The writing part was miserable as usual but the research and writing were a joy.

Related: Recalling Duncan Spencer, the cricketer who lived fast and bowled even faster

9.22am BST

Book plug

Supreme Bowling, the follow-up to Masterly Batting, features essays on the 100 greatest bowling performances in Test history. A lot of superb writers have contributed to the book, including David Frith, Stephen Chalke, Daniel Harris, Russell Jackson and Ken Piesse.

9.21am BST

An email! “A slight redirection from the international cricket,” says Lee Smith, “but I would be greatly obliged if you could post this petition that has been started in response to the brutal punishments inflicted on Durham and many other areas of disenchantment.”

9.07am BST

In case you missed the news, Edgbaston will host England’s first day-night Test next year. Read all about it.

Related: England confirm first day-night Test for 2017 against West Indies at Edgbaston

9.06am BST

Bangladesh Tamim Iqbal, Imrul Kayes, Mahmudullah, Shakib Al Hasan, Mushfiqur Rahim (wk), Mosaddek Hossain, Sabbir Rahman, Mosharraf Hossain, Taskin Ahmed, Mashrafe Mortaza (c) Shafiul Islam.

England Roy, Vince, Duckett, Bairstow, Stokes, Buttler (c/wk), Moeen, Woakes, Willey, Rashid, Ball.

9.04am BST

They have two debutants, Ben Duckett and Jake Ball. Apparently Liam Plunkett is injured, hence Ball’s inclusion. Duckett, a thrilling young talent, will bat at No3.

8.44am BST

Hello. There comes a time in every major security operation when you just have to play a bit of cricket. This should be an interesting series between the two most improved one-day sides in world cricket. We know all about England’s Plain Jane Super Brain-style transformation in this format, but Bangladesh’s has been equally impressive. They put Ye Olde England out of the last World Cup, and they have an exceptional recent record at home: 17 wins in the last 20 matches and six series victories in a row, including defeats of India, South Africa and Pakistan.

Although Bangladesh have beaten England in the last two World Cups, they have never won a series against them. They have a great chance to do so in what should be spin-friendly conditions. The pitches will bear precisely no resemblance to those England will find in next year’s Champions Trophy and the 2019 World Cup (both, in case you didn’t know, are in England, and yes you have permission to be excited about the prospect of England maybe, finally, actually winning a global 50-over competition), but a lot of white-ball experience is universal – managing a run-chase, bowling yorkers, catching the cricket ball rather than dropping it pitifully at your feet.

8.22am BST

Rob will be here shortly.

Meanwhile, check out Will Macpherson’s preview from Dhaka …

Underestimate Bangladesh at your peril. That has been the message all week from England, and one reiterated by the captain Jos Buttler on the eve of the opening one-day international in Mirpur on Friday. Thereafter they come thick and fast: another here on Sunday, and a third in Chittagong on Wednesday. A week’s rest and refamiliarisation follows, before back-to-back Tests.

According to Buttler, Bangladesh are favourites for the ODI series, and there are plenty of reasons to back up that belief. There are the infamous defeats at the past two World Cups, although so stark has England’s resurgence been in the format in the last 18 months that Buttler, Moeen Ali and Chris Woakes are the only three who played in Adelaide. The only members of the party from the 2011 loss in Chittagong in 2011 on this tour are Andrew Strauss, the director of cricket, and Paul Collingwood, one of the coaches.

Continue reading...

Italy 1-1 Spain, Austria 2-2 Wales and more: World Cup 2018 qualifiers – as they happened

Seamus Coleman scored his first international goal to give Ireland a vital victory, while Wales drew in Austria and Spain were held by Italy

10.20pm BST

Related: Marko Arnautovic double frustrates Wales after Joe Allen’s superb opener

Related: Republic of Ireland win ugly but Robbie Brady injury mars result against Georgia

Related: World Cup qualifying roundup: De Rossi earns draw for Italy against Spain

9.43pm BST

That’s it on a breathless night of World Cup qualification, with 30 goals in nine games. The final scores are below; thanks for your company, night!

Group D

9.42pm BST

Jahovic has missed an injury-time penalty, which would have given Macedonia a draw at home to Israel.

9.41pm BST

Iceland have scored twice in added time to beat Finland!

9.40pm BST

It’s all over in Vienna and Dublin: Austria 2-2 Wales and Ireland 1-0 Georgia. Two excellent results, especially for Wales on a difficult night.

9.38pm BST

We’re into the seventh minute of added time in Dublin because of that nasty injury to Robbie Brady. Ireland lead Georgia 1-0.

9.38pm BST

It has finished in Turin: Italy 1-1 Spain. Spain were the better side but couldn’t finish Italy off.

9.36pm BST

Croatia have made it 6-0 against Kosovo, through Kalinic.

9.34pm BST

Iceland have come behind for the second time!

9.32pm BST

There are a few minutes remaining in each of the nine matches. Wales and Republic of Ireland are both hanging on to excellent results.

9.30pm BST

Wales have had some good positions in the last 15 minutes, mainly from set-pieces. They’ve just had three consecutive corners on the right wing, though nothing came of them.

9.28pm BST

Turkey 2-2 Ukraine (Calhanoglu pen)

Kosovo 0-5 Croatia (Perisic)

9.26pm BST

Daniele De Rossi equalises in Turin with an accomplished penalty.

9.26pm BST

It was a nasty clash of heads that led to Brady being stretchered off.

9.22pm BST

Robbie Brady has been stretchered off at the Aviva Stadium. I’m not sure what happened but is receiving oxygen as he goes down the tunnel.

9.22pm BST

The latest scores

Group D

9.20pm BST

Wales are having an excellent spell and almost sneak in front after a brilliant run on the right by Bale, whose cutback was cleared from inside the six-yard box.

9.18pm BST

“Crowd whistling in Turin reaches sonic-boom levels as Costa escapes a second yellow card,” says Charles Antaki. “Hooked before he combusts, Morata on..”

Opta should do Expected Red Cards in the same way they do Expected Goals. Costa must have racked up 150 Expected Red Cards in his career, and only one or two actual ones.

9.14pm BST

There may be more pyrotechnic violations any minute now in Liechtenstein, because Albania have gone 2-0 up with a nice header from Balaj at the far post.

9.13pm BST

We often talk about the value of winning ugly. In a campaign like this, drawing ugly can be pretty valuable too, and a point tonight would be a great result for Wales in the circumstances.

9.12pm BST

Wales look a little more comfortable, although they are still under pressure. Croatia now lead 4-0 against Kosovo; Mitrovic got the goal.

9.11pm BST

“Biggest excitement here in Vaduz, after the Albanian goal, was the indignant announcement that “the match will be aborted if there are further pyrotechnic violations”,” says Andy Lynam. “This was followed by loud Albanian cheers and a series of huge red explosions from the red flag wavers behind the goal. Game is a chilly sellout -- 5,684 packed in.”

9.11pm BST

“Arnautovic is one of those players whose every action is carried out ‘confidently’,” says Matt Dony. “And I respect him for it. He’s a fine player, but entertainingly not quite as fine as he seems to think. Like a slightly more self-aware Bendtner. Come on, Wales!”

9.10pm BST

These are the latest scores, no two ways about it.

Group D

9.09pm BST

GOAL! Macedonia 1-2 Israel (Nestorovski 63)

9.05pm BST

Serbia lead 3-0 in Moldova through Dusan Tadic. That Spain goal was a weird howler from Buffon, who charged out of his area to intercept a through ball and then ran straight past it. In his defence, it’s his first mistake since about 1997.

9.02pm BST

Spain take a deserved lead in Turin. It’s a Halley’s Comet moment: a cock-up from Gianluigi Buffon.

9.01pm BST

Joe Allen has gone off injured for Wales, with Dave Edwards replacing him. Wales will do well to get a draw out of this because Austria are much the better side.

8.58pm BST

The latest scores

Group D

8.58pm BST

The captain Seamus Coleman gets his first goal for Ireland, scrambling home from close range after some slapstick pinball in the six-yard box. It came originally from a great run down the right by Coleman.

8.55pm BST

Gylfi Sigurdsson has missed a penalty for Iceland, who are losing 2-1 at home to Finland.

8.53pm BST

Arnautovic gets his second, finishing confidently after intercepting a stray pass from Joe Allen.

8.52pm BST

A very fast start to the second half from Austria, who don’t deserve to be behind. But they are, and that’s all Wales will care about.

8.50pm BST

Peep peep! The second halves are under way. Let’s football some more!

8.48pm BST

Your half-time reports ... so I don’t have to

Charles Antaki “Spain are being irresistible and unstoppable against Italy - but somehow have managed to be resisted and stopped. And a yellow card for Costa.”

8.35pm BST

“Apologies in advance if this makes it sound like I am calling you a monkey,” says Ian Copestake, “but you know that opening scene to 28 Days Later in which a chimp is forced to watch a bunch of World Cup qualifiers?”

8.34pm BST

That’s half-time. I’m off to put my head in the freezer. See you in 10 minutes for the second halves.

8.34pm BST

Group D

Austria 1-2 Wales
Moldova 0-2 Serbia
Republic of Ireland 0-0 Georgia

8.33pm BST

Wales have been battered for the last 20 minutes, and now they are in front through an own goal from Kevin Wimmer!

8.31pm BST

Georgia have hit the woodwork twice in the same attack against Ireland, according to my sources, while there have been more goals elsewhere: it’s Macedonia 0-2 Israel (Ben Haim) and Turkey 1-2 Ukraine (Tufan).

8.25pm BST

It’s no fun, this, trying to watch nine games at the same time. Wayne Hennessey has just made another excellent save for Wales, who have been pinned back since the equaliser.

8.24pm BST

Iceland 1-1 Finland (Arnason)

Moldova 0-2 Serbia (Ivanovic)

8.21pm BST

A good header gives Mario Mandzukic a first-half hat-trick. In other news, Wales are under increasing pressure in Vienna and Wayne Hennessey has just made a smart low save.

8.19pm BST

“I did not even know Joe Allen was left footed until that went in,” says Ian Copestake. I literally didn’t know he had a left foot until it went in.

8.16pm BST

The latest scores on a good night to be an away side

Group D

8.15pm BST

It’s Stoke 1-1 Stoke in Vienna, with Marko Arnautovic stooping to head in after a delicious ball over the top from Alaba.

8.13pm BST

Meanwhile, in the Roy Keane Stadium, Spain are battering Italy 0-0.

8.13pm BST

Ukraine now lead 2-0 in Turkey, with Artem Kravets getting the goal. If this rate of scoring continues I’ll have a nervous breakdown by half-time.

8.11pm BST

Kosovo 0-2 Croatia (Mandzukic)

Turkey 0-1 Ukraine (Yarmolenko)

8.10pm BST

“I think Infantino is on the right track,” says Thomas Krantz. “I propose we expand the World Cup to 211 teams and dispense with the qualifiers altogether. Then every four years we have a proper tournament over a couple of months.” In Doha at the height of summer, ideally.

8.09pm BST

The goal machine Joe Allen gives Wales the lead with a belting left-foot strike from 20 yards!

8.06pm BST

Serbia have taken the lead after a dreadful error from the Moldova captain Epureanu. He lost the ball to Tadic, who ran through on goal before squaring it for Kostic to tap into an open net.

8.04pm BST

“Evening Rob,” says Chris Drew. “Surely this has to have an airing tonight! Kept off the number one spot by Joe Dolce and shaddap you face. And as a proud Welshman, it’s obvious Austria are going to win tonight.”

8.00pm BST

The latest scores

Group D

7.59pm BST

12 min Spain have had most of the ball against Italy in the Stadio delle Alpi, though they are yet to trouble the scorers.

7.58pm BST

Albania lead through a close-range header from Hyka that went straight through the keeper Jehle.

7.55pm BST

“Speaking of darts (which we won’t) if FIFA does expand the World Cup to 48 teams it may well be possible to toss darts into the stands at qualifiers without hitting anyone,” says Hubert O’Hearn. “It’s difficult enough to find a competitive fixture now. MBMs in the future could be composed of a series of nursery rhymes interposed with occasional scores and no one will ever notice.”

7.55pm BST

IT WAS A JOKE ABOUT ROY KEANE IN 1999. Jeez.

7.54pm BST

Wales almost take the lead in Vienna, with Bale’s close-range header repelled by a stunning save from Almer.

7.53pm BST

The first goal of the night is scored by Mario Mandzukic, who dinks the ball over the Kosovo keeper after a penetrative passing move.

7.51pm BST

It’s been a slow start in Vienna; lots of Austrian possession but nothing to worry the Welsh bus.

7.49pm BST

“Poor, Rob,” says Ian Copestake. “Your heartfelt darts request suggests you see the MBM as some sort of utopic community of like-minded Levellers, Diggers and Ranters. This isn’t the late 1640s you know. Some of these readers voted Tory!”

7.46pm BST

Peep peep! The nine European qualifiers are under way. Let’s football!

7.39pm BST

Austria are a formidable side at home. This is unquestionably the biggest game Wales have been involved in since July.

7.38pm BST

I suspect none of you give a soaring one, but just in case: please don’t plotspoil the darts tonight as I plan to reward myself after work by watching it on delay.

7.36pm BST

“Eh, I don’t remember what Keane did there in 1999,” says Iain Kelly. “I do, however, recall his memorable performance at the Stadio delle Alpi.”

I’m just too damn deadpan for my own good.

7.28pm BST

“As a fan of the Austrian national team I must say that Wales were very lucky in Euro 2016,” says Peter Oh. “Lucky to have such a stirring national anthem impressively belted out by their supporters. Austria’s is quite beautiful too. Tonight has got to be one of the better match-ups, musically speaking. Let’s hope the football can match the tunes!”

7.28pm BST

“How positively splendid to have you on board this evening, Rob,” lies Ian Copestake. “Looking at Juventus’s stadium made me ponder on whether stadia do anything to players in terms of provoking boyish wonder, awe, sublime tinglings. Perhaps that is just a good photo, but it seems to have a certain je ne ses quoi oh so very special.”

Who will ever forget Roy Keane’s performance there in 1999?

7.27pm BST

Watch this goal at your earliest convenience

7.05pm BST

Some more pre-match reading

Related: Chris Coleman accepts Wales are a prized scalp after taking seat at top table

Related: Infantino’s 48-team World Cup plan would be funny if it was not so serious

7.05pm BST

Italy v Spain team news

Italy (3-1-4-2) Buffon; Barzagli, Bonucci, Romagnoli; De Rossi; Florenzi, Montolivo, Parolo, De Sciglio; Eder, Pelle.

6.56pm BST

Republic of Ireland v Georgia team news

Ireland (4-3-3) Randolph; Coleman, Duffy, Clark, Ward; McCarthy, Hendrick, Brady; Walters, Long, McClean.

6.53pm BST

Austria v Wales team news

Austria (4-2-3-1) Almer; Klein, Dragovic, Hinteregger, Wimmer; Baumgartlinger, Alaba; Sabitzer, Junuzovic, Arnautovic; Janko

12.05pm BST

Hello and welcome to live coverage of tonight’s World Cup qualifiers. Cherish nights like these. Cherish every moment; cherish every last goalkick in the match between Liechtenstein and Albania, because soon the World Cup proper will comprise all 211 members of Fifa and qualification will be so 2016.

These are tonight’s matches, all of which kick off at 1945BST:

Related: International football: 10 things to look out for in World Cup 2018 qualifying

Continue reading...

Ken Doherty: 'Snooker was on its knees but it's been taken to a new level'

The former snooker world champion on accidental crimefighting, the perils of gas ovens, the Sopranos and meeting Cantona

Hi Ken, how are you? I’m good, Small Talk, how are you?

We’re fine, thanks. You’re playing Judd Trump in the English Open, which starts next week. Tell us a bit about it. It’s a new tournament, which will be held in Manchester. It’s part of a new series – we’ve got the Scottish Open, the Irish Open and the Welsh Open as well. And if you win all four Opens, there’s a huge bonus prize of £1m.

Related: Martin Tyler: 'Bohemian Rhapsody is the worst song in Christendom'

Related: Steve Davis: 'Call me DJ Thundermuscle!'

Continue reading...

Swansea City 1-2 Liverpool: Premier League – as it happened

Liverpool recovered from a sluggish start to deservedly win through second-half goals from Roberto Firmino and James Milner

Read Stuart James’s match report from the Liberty Stadium

2.42pm BST

And now, read Stuart James’s on-the-whistle match report from the Liberty Stadium here:

Related: Liverpool’s James Milner spot-on again to sink Swansea City

2.25pm BST

And if you want more football, Barry Glendenning is your man.

Related: Hull City v Chelsea, Premier League and more: Saturday clockwatch – live!

2.22pm BST

Liverpool move up to second in the table. They started poorly but the injury to Adam Lallana forced a reshuffle, and moving Philippe Coutinho into midfield sparked them into life. They were deserved winners after completely dominating the last hour of the game. Swansea put in an admirable shift and will reflect on two great chances that were missed by Borja Baston in the first half, and that last-minute sitter for Mike van der Hoorn. Thanks for your company; bye!

2.21pm BST

90+3 min What a chance for van der Hoorn! I would have scored that*. It was a great cross from the right by Rangel that curled and dipped over the head of the Liverpool centre-backs. It came to van der Hoorn, eight yards out, and he screwed a feeble volley wide of the far post.

(* Legal disclaimer: I may not actually have scored that.)

2.17pm BST

90 min There will be four added minutes.

2.16pm BST

89 min Can’s low cross is almost put into his own net by the weary Cork. Fabianski gets down to his left to save.

2.15pm BST

89 min It will be ridiculous if Francesco Guidolin is sacked after this game.

2.14pm BST

88 min This is over. Swansea have nothing left in the tank.

2.13pm BST

86 min Origi has an instant impact with a low cross from the right towards the unmarked Sturridge. He can’t reach it on the stretch but Coutinho backs up the play beyond the far post to batter a shot from a tight angle that is beaten away by Fabianski.

2.12pm BST

85 min A double change for Liverpool: Can and Origi replace Wijnaldum and Firmino.

2.11pm BST

James Milner scores confidently, clipping it straight down the middle as Fabianski goes to the right.

2.10pm BST

Oh, this is a nightmare for Swansea. Barrow, in his own box, blooters his attempted clearance straight up in the air, and when it bounces Rangel panicks and shoves Firmino to the ground. A clear penalty, and a pretty needless one.

2.09pm BST

82 min The Swansea players, it is fair to assume, do not want Francesco Guidolin to be sacked. Their endeavour in this half has verged on the heroic.

2.08pm BST

81 min Coutinho’s long-range shot deflects behind for a corner. Matip’s near-post header deflects behind for a second corner on the right, which will again be taken by Henderson. It’s a dangerous outswinger that somehow evades everyone on the six-yard line.

2.05pm BST

78 min This is Swansea’s best spell since around the half-hour mark, and for the time being they look the likelier scorers.

2.04pm BST

77 min Francesco Guidolin’s substitutions have given Swansea greater energy, and as a result the last 10 minutes have been less fraught. They almost take the lead when Karius comes for a left-wing corner and gets nowhere near it, with the ball flashing right across the face of goal.

2.01pm BST

75 min A rare Swansea attack, with a nice run and cross from Barrow leading to a corner. Sigurdsson takes it and Milner heads clear.

1.58pm BST

72 min Swansea’s final substitution: Leroy Fer is replaced by Jay Fulton.

1.57pm BST

72 min Swansea can put two passes together, but three is a stretch and the ball is always coming back at them.

1.56pm BST

70 min From the resulting corner, Sturridge flashes a header a few yards wide of the far post.

1.56pm BST

69 min The dithering van der Hoorn is robbed on the edge of the area by Milner. He slightly overhits his pass to Mane, who gets it out of his feet nonetheless and hits a shot that is deflected over the bar by Naughton.

1.55pm BST

68 min Clyne, who has been a constant attacking threat, cracks a low shot from 25 yards that is well held by Fabianski.

1.54pm BST

67 min Mane shrieks with pain after a tackle by Ki, and the replays shows why: he planted his studs into Mane’s right foot.

1.52pm BST

64 min Coutinho bundles Barrow to the ground to launch a Liverpool counter-attack. Firmino plays the ball down the left to Coutinho, whose excellent low cross just evades Sturridge at the near post.

1.50pm BST

63 min Another Swansea change: Ki Sung-Yueng replaces the tiring captain Leon Britton.

1.48pm BST

62 min Swansea make their first change, with Modou Barrow replacing Wayne Routledge.

1.46pm BST

59 min Swansea surely can’t do this for another half an hour. They are under constant pressure.

1.45pm BST

57 min Swansea are struggling to stay in this game. Coutinho plays a one-two with Mane and places a beautiful curler just wide from inside the D. He has been terrific since dropping into midfield.

1.42pm BST

Liverpool are level! Coutinho’s free-kick hits the wall and comes to Henderson, who lobs it first time into the box. Firmino, who stayed onside as Swansea pushed up, places a good header into the left corner of the net from 10 yards.

1.41pm BST

54 min Britton is booked for a cynical pull on Mane, 25 yards from goal.

1.39pm BST

52 min It’s raining heavily now, which adds to the increasingly desperate feel of the match as Liverpool chase an equaliser in a manner usually reserved for the last 10 minutes.

1.37pm BST

48 min Mane combines with Sturridge – who should have been flagged offside - and clips the ball past the outrushing Fabianski from the right corner of the six-yard box. It deflects off van der Hoorn and rolls invitingly in front of goal before Amat boots it clear.

1.34pm BST

47 min Clyne runs at Naughton and crosses low towards Sturridge, who spins Amat at the near post but overruns the ball in doing so. Goal kick to Swansea.

1.32pm BST

46 min Swansea begin the second half, kicking from left to right.

1.32pm BST

Half-time cheer

“Travelling from west Wales to Cardiff, I got stuck in match-day traffic in torrential rain on the M4 earlier, so this match put me in a bad mood before it had even kicked off,” says Matt Dony. “Checking the half-time score hasn’t helped. Batter Arsenal, lose to Burnley. Batter Chelsea, losing to Swansea. Gotta love being a Liverpool fan.”

1.17pm BST

Half-time reading

Related: Mauricio Pochettino to face Guardiola as an equal in a rivalry born in Barcelona

1.17pm BST

A fine 45 minutes for Swansea, who could be 3-0 ahead, though the way Liverpool came to life towards half-time was pretty ominous. See you in 10 minutes for the second half.

1.14pm BST

44 min Sigurdsson’s dipping free-kick is fumbled by Karius but he claims it comfortably at the second attempt.

1.13pm BST

43 min Swansea really, really need half-time. A breather is the next-best thing, and Britton provides that by craftily drawing a foul from Matip 30 yards from the Liverpool goal.

1.12pm BST

42 min Another corner for Liverpool, who have stirred menacingly in the last 10 minutes. Henderson’s outswinger reaches Lovren, who miscontrols it perfectly for Firmino. He shoots on the turn from six yards but Fer takes the sting out of the shot and it dribbles through to Fabianski.

1.11pm BST

40 min After a classy through pass from Coutinho, Amat makes a wonderful tackle to block Mane’s first-time shot.

1.09pm BST

39 min Sturridge is booked for diving in the Swansea area. He was challenged by Routledge, who put hands on him but not very firmly. Jurgen Klopp has his hands over his mouth in surprise, but I think that was probably the right decision.

1.07pm BST

38 min Cork is booked for a lunge at Clyne. This is Liverpool’s best spell of pressure.

1.05pm BST

35 min The overlapping Clyne wins a corner for Liverpool. It’s taken by Henderson and reaches Lovren, whose stabbed volley on the stretch is blocked by a defender on the six-yard line.

1.02pm BST

32 min Liverpool have been a bit better since Coutinho moved into midfield but their play is still relatively ponderous.

12.59pm BST

29 min Mane does brilliantly to wriggle away from two defenders inside the box and then goes over after a bit of a shove from van der Hoorn. Michael Oliver doesn’t give a penalty, and you can understand why as the contact was relatively light, but it was risky defending from van der Hoorn.

12.57pm BST

28 min In other news, you should watch this.

12.56pm BST

26 min From the resulting free-kick, curled in magnificently from a narrow position on the right by Sigurdsson, Borja plants a great headed chance wide of the post. He was actually offside, though the flag didn’t go up, and in that sense Liverpool are lucky not to be 3-0 down here.

12.55pm BST

25 min Liverpool are not playing well at all. Swansea are beating them at their own gegenpress. Cork is tripped by Henderson, who is booked.

12.53pm BST

23 min Lallana has a groin injury apparently, and Daniel Sturridge comes on to replace him. Coutinho goes into midfield, Firmino to the left and Sturridge up front. I love the smell of tactics in the morning.

12.52pm BST

21 min Sigurdsson floats a high, dainty ball over the top of the Liverpool defence to find Cork, who slides forward and helps the ball towards goal as it drops over his shoulder inside the box. He can’t get any pace on it, however, and it’s a comfortable save from Karius.

12.50pm BST

20 min Lallana is struggling after a tackle from Britton. It looked innocuous but I don’t think he’ll be able to continue.

12.46pm BST

16 min “I don’t think Fer was offside either,” says Hubert O’Hearn. “Besides, any team that leaves two men unmarked at its far post deserves to be scored on, just on moral and ethical grounds.”

I like this idea of adding a moral dimension to officiating. Like in cricket, where batsmen who pad up are more likely to be given out LBW as punishment for bad batsmanship.

12.45pm BST

14 min Liverpool have been a bit sloppy and sluggish. Firmino is robbed 30 yards from his own goal by Fer, who smashes a shot over the bar.

12.41pm BST

10 min The more you see the replays, the more it looks like the touch came from Lovren, so the goal was fine. Fer was not offside from the original header by Borja.

12.40pm BST

9 min “The game isn’t at Anfield,” says Chris Rendle, “but it’s always nice to bust out the video of the Swansea supporter scoring at Anfield.”

12.39pm BST

It was a simple goal for Swansea. Sigurdssn’s swung a left-wing corner beyond the far post to Borja, who strained his neck muscles like Bruce Banner to head it down into the six-yard box. Van der Hoorn stretched to stab it past Karius, and although it was going in anyway, Leroy Fer did a Craig Johnston and whacked it in from 0.5 yards. I thought Fer looked fractionally offside but there is a suggestion the touch came from Lovren rather than van der Hoorn.

12.37pm BST

Klopp out!

12.36pm BST

5 min The first chance falls to Swansea. Routledge on the right curls a lovely cross over the head of Matip to find the unmarked Borja, who heads over from six yards. He should have scored.

12.33pm BST

4 min “Extraordinary clip of Dai Davies sticking the boot in on Terry Mac,” says Gary Naylor. “In front of the Kop, what could have prompted the ex-Everton man to such aggression?”

Graeme Souness’s attempt to mediate is also a joy.

12.33pm BST

3 min Liverpool have started with lots of possession, if not yet progression.

12.31pm BST

2 min “Dear Rob and Hubert,” says Paul Ewart, “when will hipsters stop being a thing?” At last, someone on my wavelength. I got a machete for my birthday and I reckon we can complete Operation Hipstercide by 2032. Wait, hang on. “Good test for the Reds this: are we Jurgen’s new, vibrant, confident Reds as I suspect, or do we still have our demons......”

12.30pm BST

1 min Peep peep! Liverpool, in red, kick off from left to right. Swansea are all white on the afternoon.

12.21pm BST

Another email! “Good afternoon Rob,” says Dean Kinsella. “I can’t believe that Guidolin is already under pressure for his job after just a handful of games. The Swans have had some tough fixtures and starting to play well after a slow start. This ‘in out in out shake it all about’ way of running football clubs is ludicrous.”

Yep. Like too much of modern football, it’s beneath contempt. Ron Atkinson made a great point in his new autobiography (which is superb, by the way), that if Arsene Wenger was a businessman, he’d win awards every year. There’s a broader point that business standards should apply to certain aspects of football, and sacking managers at the first sign of trouble is appallingly bad practice.

12.12pm BST

Thirty-five years ago this weekend, newly promoted Swansea drew 2-2 at Anfield. The goalkeeper Dai Davies didn’t take Terry McDermott’s equaliser too well.

12.10pm BST

An email! “Hello Rob,” says Hubert O’Hearn. “Today will be the perfect test for Liverpool as this is just the sort of match that has binned our previous false dawns. Swansea is at home, its manager desperate, and they have the style and the players that can break the hipsters’ beloved gegenpresse. A title is one via two mini-leagues: take 2/3 of the points available from the other 5 or 6 contenders and pretenders; and be a brutal flat track bully to the other dozen teams. Burnley was a stumble. Now, was it motivation or the hint of things to come? Today we get our first indication.”

That last point is a particularly good one. There was one season, 2008/09 I think, when Manchester United took 70 out of 72 points against the bottom 12. The champions are often the team that deals best with the mundane.

11.35am BST

Swansea (4-3-3) Fabianski; Rangel, van der Hoorn, Amat, Naughton; Fer, Cork, Britton; Routledge, Borja, Sigurdsson.
Substitutes: Nordfeldt, Mawson, Taylor, Fulton, Ki, Barrow, McBurnie.

Liverpool (4-3-3) Karius; Clyne, Lovren, Matip, Milner; Lallana, Henderson, Wijnaldum; Mane, Firmino, Coutinho.
Substitutes: Mignolet, Sturridge, Klavan, Moreno, Lucas, Can, Origi.

11.20am BST

Liverpool are fifth in the table. What’s the rumpus? The rumpus is that they’ve already won at Chelsea and Arsenal, outplayed Spurs at White Hart Lane and scored 16 goals in six games. It’s hard to know whether they are serious title contenders, because we can’t be sure what impact their flawed defence will have over a whole season, but we can say without fear of contradiction from tryhard blowhards on the internet that they have an attack capable of winning the title.

They also have the huge advantage of not being in Europe – just as in 2013-14, when they should have won their first title since 1989-90 - and a manager who, even in this season of the Premier League supersupersupermanager, is rapidly becoming the neutral’s favourite.

10.15am BST

Hello. Rob will be along shortly. Here’s Alan Smith’s preview of the lunchtime kick-off:

Swansea performed well in defeat to Manchester City last weekend but Francesco Guidolin is still living on borrowed time. The Italian could badly do with a result against Jürgen Klopp’s Liverpool, who have at times been exhilarating in attack. Guidolin says he could “maybe” lose his job with another loss but “if we win, for the international break you don’t speak any more about my position”. No pressure, then.

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