Rob Smyth's Blog, page 171
July 27, 2016
Crazy transfer fee of Gonzalo Higuaín leads us into theatre of the absurd | Rob Smyth
The world transfer record was broken twice in the summer of 1996. The Brazilian forward Ronaldo went from PSV Eindhoven to Barcelona for around £13.2m but his record did not last long. Twenty years ago on Friday, Newcastle United paid Blackburn Rovers £15m for Alan Shearer. Both theoretically had their best years ahead – Ronaldo was 19, Shearer 25 – and were probably the best strikers in the world at the time. In that year’s Ballon d’Or they finished second and third, behind the Germany sweeper Matthias Sammer.
Related: Gonzalo Higuaín seals £75.3m move from Napoli to Juventus
Related: Pep Guardiola confident of signing John Stones and waiting on Bonucci
Continue reading...
July 24, 2016
England v Pakistan: second Test, day three – as it happened
England led by 489 at the end of a rain-affected day in which they surprisingly declined to enforce the follow-on
Report: England drive home advantage despite eschewing follow-on8.26pm BST
Read Mike Selvey’s report here:
Related: England drive home advantage over Pakistan despite eschewing follow-on
Related: England’s Jimmy Anderson waits to make Shan Masood an unhappy bunny | Vic Marks
Related: Alastair Cook criticised over decision not to enforce Pakistan follow-on
7.16pm BST
21st over: England 98-1 (Cook 49, Root 23) England pilfer 11 from the final over, bowled by Yasir. That’s it for a successful if slightly frustrating day for England. They lead by 489 with two days remaining and are strong favourites to win this match, though the Manchester weather might be a problem. Thanks for your company, night!
In other news 2 knob heads have walked past my house holding phones doing Pokiemon , what has the world become !!
7.12pm BST
20th over: England 87-1 (Cook 47, Root 14) Root charges Amir and crashes the ball not far short of mid-on. It’s a quiet end to a subdued day, which will be over in six balls’ time.
“Fear not, Mac Millings!” says Andy Tyacke in Germany. “ I taught all three of my sons during their secondary years with no problems. The second one failed to hand his homework in three times during his first term of secondary and was the first of his intake to get a detention. Guess who put him in! He always said it was the best thing that could have happened at the time: it did wonders for his street cred: the others realised that there were no favours going and he got a certain aura for being a minor criminal. Also he got the message about homework. A couple of weeks later I did the same for the deputy head’s son – who had been getting away with it with some other teachers and he also got the message.” What’s the German for P45?
7.08pm BST
19th over: England 83-1 (Cook 46, Root 11) Yasir wheels through another over, with Root cuffing a slog-sweep for four. The next ball spits from a length to beat the outside edge. Two overs remaining.
7.05pm BST
18th over: England 78-1 (Cook 45, Root 7) Root takes one in the stomach after mistiming a pull stroke at Amir. He can play that shot with impunity now. The first innings was business; this is fun. He is beaten next ball, again trying to glide to third man.
“The first question that came to my mind is: what is Millings Jr going to call Sr in class?” wonders Tom Hopkins. “Is the customary ‘Millings’ appropriate?
7.01pm BST
17th over: England 73-1 (Cook 43, Root 5) Root is selfless at the best of times, never mind when England are pushing for a declaration and he has the warm glow a first-innings 254, so you’d expect him to get on with it.
6.58pm BST
16th over: England 72-1 (Cook 42, Root 4) Root often the face to steer his first ball for four.
“The sitcom is from my son’s point of view,” writes Mac Millings. “It’s called ‘Breaking Dad’.”
6.57pm BST
Hales walks on a caught-behind. It was a good delivery from Amir that came back to take the inside-edge on its way through to Sarfraz. It bounced a bit too The inside-edge wasn’t clear on the first replay but I assume there was one, given that Hales walked.
6.53pm BST
15th over: England 67-0 (Cook 41, Hales 24) Yasir half-stops Cook’s straight drive, which helps keep him to a single. There’s a gentle LBW shout when Hales misses a sweep; he was outside the line.
“To follow through on wicketkeeper evolution, you’d end up with a large, mature version of Paul the Octopus,” says John Starbuck. “Not only would he be able to reach the ball from just about all positions, he could forecast where it’s going to be. It’s been said (Cricinfo) of Sobers at leg-slip that he couldn’t see the ball but, knowing the pitch, the bowler and the way the batsman was playing just then, he moved to a point where he crouched and left his hand of the grass, whereupon the ball landed there. You don’t see coaches telling the kids about that.” Or about Garry’s Special Gatorade.
6.49pm BST
14th over: England 64-0 (Cook 39, Hales 23) Amir at the other end; three from the over. “Darts score?” says Richard Gibbs. “Believe it finished 1-1, penalties currently being taken. Darts? FFS.”
Any translators out there?
6.45pm BST
13th over: England 61-0 (Cook 36, Hales 23) There are 8.4 overs remaining in the day. Yasir bowls the .4, the first of which is swept for four by Cook. He has 36 from 31 balls.
6.43pm BST
No follow on is hardly science @SkyCricket @jimmy9 has come back from injury,bowlers get more rest and pitch gets worse but keep banging on
6.36pm BST
Play will restart at 6.45pm. PLEASE DON’T TELL ME THE DARTS SCORE.
6.35pm BST
“Is Ian Bell totally out of the picture now?” asks Alex McGillivray. “And with keepers being more athletic these days, how long before first slip position is absorbed into a keeper’s expected range?”
I assume they think Bell’s eyes have gone. I believe they cited experience when they selected Ballance, which sends that’s it for Bell. I have seen him much his season so can’t really comment, but in principle I’d be loath to rule him out. He’ll only be 35 for the next Ashes. Funny how it’s now Australia who have no qualms about picking the older players.
6.29pm BST
There was a proposed restart at 6.35pm, but not it’s raining again. On it goes, this thing of ours.
6.19pm BST
12.3 overs: England 55-0 (Cook 31, Hales 23) Ach, it’s raining again and the players are going off.That might be it for the day. Play needs to resume by 7pm.
6.17pm BST
12nd over: England 55-0 (Cook 31, Hales 22) It’s just a hunch, but I reckon Sir Ian Botham thinks England should declare. “2208 Tests there have been, and nobody has ever made this many to win a Test. Wouldn’t you want to be bowling in these conditions?” Cook brings up the fifty partnership with a very good cover-drive for four off Amir, and then edges a slower ball just short of slip. He has 31 from 28 balls, Hales 22 fae 44.
“Millings Family Values - a heart-warming light horror drama,” offers John Starbuck.
6.12pm BST
11st over: England 48-0 (Cook 25, Hales 21) With Wahab off the field, Yasir Shah has to come into the attack as early as the 11th over. Hales rocks back to belabour his first delivery down the ground for four, a nice statement of intent. Seven from the over, which makes it 19 from the last two. England might be looking at a declaration tonight, depending on the weather.
6.08pm BST
10th over: England 41-0 (Cook 24, Hales 15) Cook almost chops Rahat back onto his stumps but instead gets four to fine leg. The next ball jags back to hit the pad and prompt a big LBW appeal that is turned down by Rahat Ali. Misbah decides not to review. It looked a bit high, and replays show it was a bit high – it would have trimmed the bails but that means umpire’s call and therefore the decision would not have been overturned on review. It’s an expensive over, 12 from it after Cook creams a pull to the boundary off the last delivery.
“As entertaining as Mac’s sitcom sounds,” says David Hopkins, “I fear it will morph into a dark brooding Scandinavian drama replete with homicide and knitwear - The Milling.”
6.03pm BST
9th over: England 26-0 (Cook 16, Hales 12) Cook drives Amir for three; he has raced to 16 from 18 balls. England’s actual ODI opener, Hales, has 12 from 36 balls. The weather looks okay, so I suspect
I’ll miss the start of the darts again
play will be okay to continue until 7.30pm.
5.57pm BST
8th over: England 26-0 (Cook 13, Hales 12) Oof, that should have been the end of Hales. He chased a wide, shortish delivery from Rahat and edged it towards first slip, where the crouching Hafeez reacted arthritically as the ball flew past him for four. England lead by 417.
5.54pm BST
7th over: England 22-0 (Cook 14, Hales 8) That’s a nice stroke from Hales, who forces Amir behind square on the off side for four. In his three Test series Hales has averaged 17, 59 and now 13. He’s not under pressure yet but he knows he needs to really trouble the scorers sooner rather than later.
5.51pm BST
6th over: England 16-0 (Cook 13, Hales 3) Four singles from Rahat’s over. It’s all a bit low-key at the moment. It feels like we are coming towards the end of the day, but there will be 20 more overs tonight if the weather holds.
“Afternoon Rob,” says Phil Sawyer. “Presumably the sitcom would be called Millings Crossing?” Heh, very good. It’s either that or Weep.
5.46pm BST
5th over: England 12-0 (Cook 10, Hales 2) A superb bit of analysis from Mikey Holding on Sky, who demonstrates that Hales is no longer planting his front leg before the ball is bowled as he did in the first innings. It’s a work in progress, and Holding demonstrates the greater flexibility of someone like Joe Root, but it’s good to see Hales doing things like this. If he doesn’t crack Test cricket, it won’t be for the want of trying or hard work. He plays out a maiden from Amir.
“‘It’s probably not treason to surmise that if England had known this would happen, they would have enforced the follow-on,’” says Adam Roberts, quoting an earlier entry. “It rained this morning; this is Manchester. I’m assuming someone in this management set-up has been to Manchester before. No, I’m not letting this go. Doh!”
5.41pm BST
4th over: England 12-0 (Cook 10, Hales 2) Almost a run-out from the second ball. Cook, more than halfway down the pitch, is sent back by Hales and makes his ground just before the throw hits the stumps at the non-striker’s end.
5.33pm BST
Play will resume at 5.40pm! It will it will it will.
5.32pm BST
“Has Mr Truman (3rd over) checked with the new Mrs Truman about her feelings on cricket?” writes somebody nameless. “Just thinking about the long game here.”
5.11pm BST
“You want to hear about mental disintegration?” says Mac Millings, scrubbing his thighs with zeal. “This coming school year, for the first time, my eldest son will be a student in my classroom. Is it wrong that I’ve spent the whole summer planning his in-class, year-long humiliation? (Answer: No.)”
That’s a real-life sitcom, with oodles of added misery.
5.10pm BST
“England’s five bowlers sent down 39.4 overs between them today, with rain breaks in addition to lunch,” writes Dan Lucas. “Resting them is, frankly, bullshit.”
Obviously you’re not a
golfer
biomechanist.
5.06pm BST
“Do you think England will declare and have a go at Pakistan tonight?” asked Phil White just before it started raining. No. “Presumably that was the plan when they declared. But I can’t see Pakistan bowling more than 12 overs an hour, so not a lot of time to get 100 and have a decent bowl. Can’t see them changing the batting order, and if I was Vince or Ballance I wouldn’t relish coming in in these circumstances - time to fail, but not enough time to make a big score.”
I would tell them that any low score will not count against them in any way, and that they should swing and have fun. Easier to say that, of course.
4.59pm BST
4th over: England 11-0 (Cook 9, Hales 2) Wahab Riaz is off the field, having taken a blow on the arm during his jaunty innings, so Pakistan are down to three bowlers. After Cook is beaten outside off stump, the players leave the field against because of rain. It looks quite grim this time. It’s probably not treason to surmise that if England had known this would happen, they would have enforced the follow-on.
4.56pm BST
3rd over: England 11-0 (Cook 9, Hales 2) The lights are on and these are good bowling conditions. Pakistan will want to further undermine Hales, Ballance and Vince this evening. Mohammad Amir has two remaining deliveries in his second over, both of which are left outside off by Hales.
“I’m jetting off on honeymoon in a few hours and just discovered my (I mean our) stay in Kandy coincides with SL/Aus,” says Ian Truman. “Do any OBOers know how easy it is to get tickets on the door over in Sri Lanka? And which set of supporters should we sit with?” I think you’ll be okay getting in.
4.43pm BST
Play will resume at 4.55pm.
4.42pm BST
“As I see it, batting again is a no-win for England,” says Adam Roberts. “It brings the draw into play knowing the Manchester weather. You can damage the confidence of Hales, Vince ect ect. You can boost the confidence of the Pakistanis. Or you can win by an innings. There’s cloud cover - Let our English bowlers have a go at them. And even if England do have to bat again, it will be a very low total.”
You’re not looking at the whole pie Adam. What if Hales or Vince get a run a ball 80 or Amir gets a fatigue injury? What if England bowled again and Pakistan batted 180 overs in the second innings and Anderson got injured? I would have enforced the follow-on as well, but the Cook approach was often used by both Ricky Ponting and Michael Clarke so I don’t think it’s as clear-cut as people are making out.
4.40pm BST
“To the discussion about Finn returning to form from much earlier. Currently, as stated there, you can’t really drop either Woakes or Stokes to make way for Finn,” says David Keech. “However as that gives England the luxury of both a bowler who bats (Woakes) and a batter who bowls (Stokes) they could drop either Vince or Ballance and add Finn. This would give them five seamers, unprecedented I know, but could be interesting for Edgbaston. Alternatively they could include Finn for Anderson and give him time to recover full fitness for India, where he will be most needed. What does everybody think?”
Five seamers is surely too many. I think you can - and they will - drop a batsman for a second spinner in India, but that’s different. I just think the idea of a first XI is a bit antiquated now. At the moment Woakes deserves to be ahead of Finn; six months ago Finn bowled like a monster in South Africa and Woakes looked out of his depth.
4.33pm BST
Actual update Ah, there will be an inspection at 4.45pm.
4.33pm BST
Update No news is bad news.
4.30pm BST
“Is total mental disintegration,” begins Alex Netherton, “the reason why you’ve been imposed upon us again?”
If I wanted a comment from you mate it’d be about Phil Brown.
4.18pm BST
Play should be resuming right about now. It isn’t, because it’s raining, so I’ve no idea when we’ll have more cricket.
4.18pm BST
“Good Morning Robert,” says Adam Roberts. “My flabber was well and truly gasted when A Cook didn’t enforce the follow-on. It took 2.4 overs for my fears to be realised. What was he thinking? Set up Hales for another failure? Just drop him if that’s how you feel?”
I don’t agree with it but I can understand why they batted again. That’s what the Mental Disintegration Handbook suggests you should do in such circumstances; to “cook ‘em a bit longer”, as Mitchell Johnson put it during the Adelaide Test of 2013-14.
4.16pm BST
Hello again. This will, weather permitting, be a marathon final session - three hours ten minutes I think. Such sessions always trigger happy, happy memories of the longest session in Test history: four hours of Headley-inspired Ashes bliss at the MCG in 1998-99.
4.04pm BST
After which, Rob Smyth will guide you to the close.
4.00pm BST
It’s tea.
4.00pm BST
Update: in one minute’s time, it’ll be tea.
3.59pm BST
It is not yet tea, to avoid too long a final session. This takes time out of the game, as we’re already committed to the maximum; it’s happening.
3.58pm BST
3rd over: England11-0 (Cook 9, Hales 2) Amir gets a shy at Hales, and it starts raining, and what in pain in posterior this is.
3.55pm BST
2nd over: England11-0 (Cook 9, Hales 2) Hales dabs Rahat into off-side as we see Wahab icing his elbow in the changing room; it was an external blow, so when he’s good to go he can go. Meantime, another short one is easily sent to the point fence for four by Cook and two further singles follow.
“In a minority I know, but think its good call,” tweets Phil Russell. “All about managing bowler workload. Keeps them fresher for rest of series. Plenty of time to win, even with rain. Better batting from Pakistan could keep them out there a while 2nd time around.”
3.51pm BST
1st over: England 4-0 (Cook 4, Hales 0) Warne does not agree with England’s behaviours; Hussain ventures that perhaps they want to give Vince and Ballance another shot. And Hales, so effective against Sri Lanka, could use a knock too; he’s looked slightly out of his depth against this attack, though given a very small sample size. Anyway, Amir opens and Cook’s off the mark with a clouting square-drive to the rope before a fuller one induces a half-batter than bounces before slip.
3.46pm BST
Right, we’re ready to go again.
3.39pm BST
I mean, I know this is what England do, and I know they’ll probably win whatever, and I know the bowlers could use a rest, and I know they wouldn’t mind putting more overs into Pakistani legs, and I know the pitch will deteriorate. But really, this is a curious one.
3.37pm BST
Er, ok.
3.37pm BST
Wahab, becalmed after two dots, mows Moeen and gets plenty of it - just not enough, picking out Hales on the midwicket fence.
3.36pm BST
64th over: Pakistan 198-9 (Wahab 39, Amir 6) Moeen wheels away again and Wahab miscues an overpitched one - Hales dives but can’t get there. Then Wahab misses a quicker one, before bumping into the off-side.
3.34pm BST
63rd over: Pakistan 195-9 (Wahab 39, Amir 6) Afternoon everyone. Ben Stokes charges in, obviously, hurling down a bouncer at Amir, who ducks keeping his bat low. Then, another back-of-a-length delivery is played down into the off-side very nicely, giving him his first boundary. Apparently, Cook has indicated to Hales that England will bat again; if he’d not mind indicating to what end, that’d be very much appreciated.
3.28pm BST
62nd over: Pakistan 189-9 (Wahab 38, Amir 1) Wahab could never be tried in a court of law for not living life to the max: he smears back over his head for four and then hits an outrageous reverse-sweep over cover for a one-bounce four. He charges the next ball, dragging it into Ballance at short leg. Do short legs wear a box? If they don’t, Gary Ballance is a very tough man. Right, that’s all from me for now, Daniel Harris will be with you until tea.
3.24pm BST
61st over: Pakistan 179-9 (Wahab 29, Amir 0) An inside-edge saves Wahab from being plumb LBW to Stokes. Another maiden.
3.24pm BST
60th over: Pakistan 179-9 (Wahab 29, Amir 0) That was the last ball of the over.
3.19pm BST
Moeen gets Misbah for the second consecutive innings! Misbah tried to sweep but top-edged the stroke towards short fine leg, where Cook ran round to take a comfortable two-handed catch above his head. That’s really good from Moeen, who has now looked the beast in the eye twice without blinking.
3.15pm BST
59th over: Pakistan 177-8 (Misbah 51, Wahab 28) This relatively flat period shows how well England bowled earlier in the innings, as it’s still a very good pitch.
“Greetings from an almost warm Nairobi,” says Robert Darby. “I think it is time to put the kibosh on Pakistan’s innings, so here goes. Is it too soon to start talking about them saving the follow on?” They need another 213 runs, or around 15 overs of Moeen to Misbah.
3.11pm BST
58th over: Pakistan 176-8 (Misbah 50, Wahab 28) Misbah steals a second run to bring up an excellent fifty partnership, and then sweeps a single to reach his own fifty. That’s a terrific innings, from 107 balls with four fours. Wahab celebrates on his captain’s behalf by mauling Moeen for six to cow corner. He gave that some humpty.
3.07pm BST
57th over: Pakistan 167-8 (Misbah 47, Wahab 22) Wahab turns his back on a delivery from Woakes that hits him on the top of the arm guard. He has a bit of treatment, and he doesn’t look particularly comfortable. The physio applies some strapping and he continues, sensibly getting off strike with a quick single. That puts Misbah on strike, and he’s dropped by Vince at third slip! He opened his the face to glide Woakes to third man but played it a bit too fine. Vince got down smartly to his right but couldn’t hold on to an extremely difficult chance. At least I think it was a chance; it may have arrived on the half-volley.
“Afternoon Rob,” says Tom Hopkins. “I was asked last week whether Tegan and Sara are mainstream. Any thoughts? I wasn’t even sure whether that’s an absolute term, or whether to compare them with, say, The Long Blondes or Taylor Swift, where’s the cut off?” Look Tom, I just can’t. I have no idea how you judge these things in a digital world. And I’m slightly out of touch with the hit parade. I’ve heard of the Long Blondes but who’s Taylor Swift?
2.57pm BST
56th over: Pakistan 163-8 (Misbah 44, Wahab 21) Alastair Cook, possibly out of boredom, has decided to feed Moeen Ali to Misbah. It’ll probably be an expensive mode but it’s a worthwhile gamble with such a huge lead. Misbah doesn’t bother with a sighter, wearily plonking his back leg to the first delivery before reverse sweeping past slip for four. Four singles make it a good over for Pakistan, and this is now the highest partnership of the innings. They’ve added 44.
2.53pm BST
55th over: Pakistan 155-8 (Misbah 38, Wahab 19) “With so much focus on the swash and buckle of Stokes in the last two years, Chris Woakes’ quiet, determined transformation from much-maligned England fledgling to a bona-fide matchwinner has been the feelgood story of 2016,” says Guy Hornsby, who must have missed 60 Days In. “I, like many others, didn’t really know what the selectors saw in him in his first few tests, but this is the tastiest slice of humble pie I’ve eaten since I didn’t think Matthew Hoggard was up to much. We now have two genuine all-rounders. You wait for a bus....”
It has certainly been a victory for experts over gobshites. (Not that I’m calling you the latter, I wasn’t sure about him either. I was thinking more of tweets like this.) This is obviously a purple patch but, as rotation becomes the norm, he should at the very least be around the squad for the next 4-5 years.
2.49pm BST
54th over: Pakistan 152-8 (Misbah 36, Wahab 18) An outrageous lifter from Stokes bursts from a length past Wahab’s outside edge and almost clears the leaping Bairstow. When Stokes is bowling the pitch is playing like it’s had a Red Bull shower, and the over ends with Wahab again edging on the bounce to slip.
2.44pm BST
53rd over: Pakistan 151-8 (Misbah 35, Wahab 18) Wahab skids forward to a full, wide delivery from Woakes and slices it along the ground for four. Later in the over, Misbah clunks Woakes straight back over his head for three more. Pakistan are still 438 behind but this partnership should make the top-order batsmen believe they can get proper runs in the second innings.
2.40pm BST
52nd over: Pakistan 142-8 (Misbah 32, Wahab 12) Stokes continues to harass Wahab, who thick-edges another lifter this far short of Vince at third slip. It’s been a really good spell, which Wahab has survived through equal portions of luck and courage. Meanwhile, at Canterbury...
2.36pm BST
51st over: Pakistan 141-8 (Misbah 31, Wahab 12) Misbah flashes a back-cut under the diving Stokes at gully for four. “There’s been a meme going around saying that if you have friend who wakes from a year-long coma and you have to explain what has happened in 2016 you should start with Leicester winning the Premier League by 10 points and work up from there,” says Pete Salmon. “I think mentioning that Woakes is England’s best cricketer might be quite a long way into the conversation don’t you?”
2.32pm BST
50th over: Pakistan 134-8 (Misbah 27, Wahab 10) Wahab thick-edges Stokes through the vacant fourth-slip area for four. The next ball is a vicious lifter that beats the outside edge, as does the next. Stokes is getting the ball to really zip off this pitch.
“A bit harsh to call Anderson a bully (48th over),” says John Starbuck. “You’d imagine Autocorrect would come, if not with a cricket-based model, at least some learning capacity, like plenty of other software does.”
2.27pm BST
49th over: Pakistan 130-8 (Misbah 27, Wahab 6) If England were 250 ahead I’m not sure Cook would enforce the follow on, but with a lead of 463 and a five-man attack there is no real reason not to do so. Misbah reduces that lead to 459 with a blazing square-driven boundary off Woakes.
2.23pm BST
48th over: Pakistan 126-8 (Misbah 23, Wahab 6) Stokes’s numbers – 33 and 37 – are nowhere near as good as Woakes’, which tells a few stories. He almost had a third wicket then, with Wahab fencing a nasty lifter in the gap between gully and third slip. Anderson at bully flew to his left but it went past him for four.
2.21pm BST
47th over: Pakistan 122-8 (Misbah 23, Wahab 2) At the start of the summer, Chris Woakes’ Test bowling average was 64. Ten days ago it was 41; now it’s 26 and falling, and he’s one away from a third consecutive five-for. The last Englishman to do that was Gus Fraser during his Indian summer of 1998. Woakes bowls a maiden to Misbah, who is batting time in the hope that an apocalypse tomorrow might save the game for Pakistan.
2.16pm BST
46th over: Pakistan 122-8 (Misbah 23, Wahab 2) Misbah shows no inclination to farm the strike, working Stokes’ second ball for a single. Hardly seems worth it when you are almost 500 behind. Wahab gets off the mark with a flick for two.
2.12pm BST
45th over: Pakistan 119-8 (Misbah 22, Wahab 0) Chris Woakes has one ball of his tenth over remaining, and it’s defended by the new batsman Wahab.
1.57pm BST
Hello folks. England have shown significant roarbackability in this game, an admirable response to the excessive criticism they received after Lord’s. As Daniel said, it’s hard to see how they don’t win comfortably from here.
1.37pm BST
It’s very hard to conceive of a circumstance that doesn’t have England winning this Test sometime tomorrow - these bowlers and these conditions have made mugs of better batsmen than these. But you never know, and either way, Rob Smyth will be with you for the start of the afternoon session.
1.32pm BST
What a morning for England! What a fortnight for Chris Woakes! What a life for Joe Root! Presumably waiting for a seriously short one, when it was merely back of a length, Shah didn’t really know what to do so fenced to Root, who took his fourth catch of the innings with mortifying ease.
1.32pm BST
45th over: Pakistan 119-7 (Misbah 22, Yasir 1) Woakes has two men out on the hook, but his first ball is full and dug out by Misbah. But the second is a right venomous so-and-so, forcing him to take eyes off it, and the glove bears first impact before the guard is separated from its moorings; well bowled. Misbah is ready for another short one, but it’s full, and then the batsmen dash through for a single; Broad’s throw hits the stumps at the non-striker’s, but Misbah was well in.
1.28pm BST
44th over: Pakistan 118-7 (Misbah 21, Yasir 1) A single to Misbah gives Stokes five balls at Yasir - wonder how his chin’s feeling, because it’s going to get some attention, one feels. And sure enough, there’s a bumper, a bit too high, and another one. Shah then handles the fuller one well, shoving it away into the leg-side, and then a better, fuller one - 87mph too - which Shah drives at, slicing towards mid-off. This next over will likely be the last before lunch.
1.23pm BST
43rd over: Pakistan 117-7 (Misbah 20, Yasir 1) Woakes tries Yasir with a shorter one which he fends off his hip, then another one shmices him on the glove. But nudge through midwicket gets Misbah the strike and he adds three with a push down the ground.
WATCH: Pace&bounce from @benstokes38 as Sarfraz (26) edges to Root. PAK 112-7, trail by 477: https://t.co/XbFzNuRrnw https://t.co/u1WFJUT9kQ
1.20pm BST
42nd over: Pakistan 112-7 (Misbah 16, Yasir 0) England are into the bowlers and Stokes is into this, absolutely battering in. But Yasir handles him well enough, playing out a wicket-maiden.
1.16pm BST
Knack strikes again! Sarfraz fences at one that’s back of a length and zips off the pitch, but that he might have left, and off he pops.
1.15pm BST
42nd over: Pakistan 112-6 (Misbah 16, Sarfraz 26) Sarfraz leans into Stokes’ first ball to take four down to the point fence.
1.14pm BST
41st over: Pakistan 108-6 (Misbah 16, Sarfraz 22) Woakes is running in hard but it’s not happening for him at the moment. Sarfraz takes him for three to mid-on and then Misbah drives through cover to get Anderson diving to save the boundary; they run three more. Sarfraz has made a huge difference.
1.09pm BST
40th over: Pakistan 101-6 (Misbah 12, Sarfraz 18) Stokes on and his second ball is nairstee, back of a length, kicking, and taking the splice but not finding a fielder. And another good ball then has Misbah feeling the need to pull, not getting much of it but running two, before a full one draws a solid defensive shot. Good over.
1.04pm BST
39th over: Pakistan 99-6 (Misbah 11, Sarfraz 18) And here’s Woakesy! He begins with both peach and jaffa, full of length and nipping away from Misbah as he propped forward. But he nurdles the next ball into the leg-side to ROtate the strike (yes, Warne is back in commentary). And Sarfraz isn’t missing out when he gets a wide one, well out of his crease and perfect position to cream it to the point fence; he’s not going to hang about. Two more come next ball, too, then a straight one that’s flipped around the corner for four down to fine-leg.
12.59pm BST
38th over: Pakistan 88-6 (Misbah 10, Sarfraz 8) Woakes has just nipped off, so perhaps will be into the attack sooner rather than later, but in the meantime, Broad continues. Whos’ not at all chuffed when Sarfraz jabs away square on the off-side and Hales allows it through for a boundary; nowadays, I believe they call it #greatbantz.
12.56pm BST
37th over: Pakistan 84-6 (Misbah 10, Sarfraz 4) Anderson resumes, five dots increasing the pressure, but this time Misbah finds a release shot, square-driving a wide one to the fence. That his first boundary, and it came from the 47th ball that he faced.
12.51pm BST
36th over: Pakistan 80-6 (Misbah 6, Sarfraz 4) First ball, Sarfraz chucks everything at a wide one and toe-edges - it drops short of first slip, and Bairstow, diving across, can’t get it either. Broad’s steaming in here, and when another bounces high, Sarfraz rises with it, flashing over point for four.
“I’ve always felt that two an over is fine in situations like this as long as they’re both singles and not one four in 12 balls,” tweets Gary Naylor. And yep, agreed.
12.47pm BST
And after all that, he’s given it away, just as Branderson always knew they would. Shafiq gets down on one knee to drive a cutter, doesn’t get all of it, and balloons a catch to Hales at backward point.
12.46pm BST
35th over: Pakistan 76-5 (Misbah 6, Shafiq 4) Don’t think England will mind Pakistan batting to stay at the crease and Nasser agrees; case closed m’lud. It’s a difficult one, because there aren’t going be many loose balls to hit, but on the other hand, it makes no sense to give it away. Anderson then strays, though, after Misbah gets one for a defensive push, and Shafiq turns him off his pads for a further single.
12.41pm BST
34th over: Pakistan 74-5 (Misbah 5, Shafiq 3) Shafiq has a wild swing at Broad’s first ball, missing by plenty, but is solid thereafter. He knows what he’s doing and does it well.
12.37pm BST
33rd over: Pakistan 74-5 (Misbah 5, Shafiq 3) Anderson is on the money straight away, Shafiq following, withdrawing and edging with soft hands. It’s a good test for him, this, a great bowler in helpfulish conditions, and he eventually gets off the mark from his twelfth ball, swiping to long-off for three - Broad chases and saves the boundary with a dive.
12.33pm BST
32nd over: Pakistan 71-5 (Misbah 5, Shafiq 0) Broad’s in and Misbah plays his first ball down into the off-side. And his fifth ball is a goodun, bouncing high and donkey-biting Misbah on the inner thigh; he wears it well and is well forward to the sixth. Maiden.
12.28pm BST
And out come the teams.
12.26pm BST
In their last 26 bowling innings in home Tests (since Aug 2014), England have had the opposition 5 down for under 100 on 13 occasions.
12.26pm BST
Oh yes!
Here's the 2nd wicket to fall today as @finnysteve takes a great caught & bowled to see off Kent Skipper Northeast pic.twitter.com/SNBhPCFbxT
12.24pm BST
Right, lunch has been pushed back to 1.30pm BST.
12.12pm BST
Coming to the cricket today? Keep your wits about you https://t.co/3Huff27Lx3
12.11pm BST
WATCH: @jimmy9's 455th Test wicket as Masood (39) edges to Root. PAK 71-5: https://t.co/XbFzNuRrnw #ENGvPAK https://t.co/89jvCX2PBj
12.06pm BST
We shall restart at 12.30 BST, or in 24 minutes’ time.
12.04pm BST
So, it’s stopped raining, which means all we need to do is get the covers and get on. “We” in the loosest possible sense.
12.03pm BST
And one more, the first hour of which is an absolute lesson in film-making.
12.02pm BST
“Commando has better lines than any film, surely” tweets Dan Lucas.
And another, that I know has been cannibalised and desecrated but remains an absolute belter, a perfect example of someone chucking all they’ve got at their debut and it working.
11.59am BST
Are people still going on about the press-up celebration? Were England seriously mithered by it? Surely not.
11.55am BST
In the Royal London Cup, Worcestershire are fighting back against Warwickshire - they’ve moved from 19-6 to 24-6. Rikki Clarke has 5-18.
11.53am BST
“Quotable movies? Dude - The Big Lebowski. But that’s just, like, my opinion, man,” chides Benjamin Hendy.
Yes, I’d agree with that - apologies one and all. And also Boyz n’ the Hood - regarding which, this untold story of is great.
11.51am BST
Oh good.
@DanielHarris Heavy rain in Crosby now, so expect it over OT in the near future.
11.47am BST
It’s still raining, but not hard.
11.41am BST
“Bring on the dibby-dobbers!’ emails Ian Copestake.
11.40am BST
“It depends on the kind of trainer you have in mind,” reckons John Starbuck. “The standard type with laces, no, unless you wish to be pathetically rebellious; the slip-on type (Prada style) yes, you can get away with them, especially if they are the kind which takes boot polish.”
The ones you reference are never a trainer, but it’s more to do with comfort than rebellion. Though, why need there ever be a need to wear a syoot?
11.38am BST
Tricky one, this: Finn is a potential world-beater, but on the other hand, Stokes needed to come back in and Woakes was undroppable.
11.37am BST
Finn is at it again this morning. Bowling as well as I've seen him bowl in a long time. Bowled himself into form in the Test & dropped.
11.34am BST
On the plus side, it doesn’t look like it’s “set-in” or any other such appalling phrase. We’ll be back within the half-hour, I shouldn’t wonder.
11.33am BST
@DanielHarris Ah, if only that had been Brood bowling :) pic.twitter.com/F1dzfm2pQr
11.32am BST
Botheration. “It’s been raining in Liverpool this morning and that juice has started to fall here.” says Athers. The players depart.
11.31am BST
31st over: Pakistan 71-5 (Misbah 5, Shafiq 0) Anderson has bowled beautifully this morning, or Anderson has bowled this morning as I could’ve typed to save my fingers an extraneous word. Lights are on at OT, and the clouds zoning in from Liverpool way do not look at all friendly. Another maiden.
11.29am BST
30th over: Pakistan 71-5 (Misbah 5, Shafiq 0) Broad hasn’t bowled as well as Anderson this morning, which, I guess, puts him in company with more than seven billion others. But he beats Misbah with his final delivery, which nips in and raps the thigh. There’s an appeal, and incredibly, Broad thinks it’s out. Cook thinks otherwise, and indeed there was an edge. Maiden.
“‘Is it ever acceptable to wear trainers with a syoot?’” tweets Gary Naylor. “Two words - Chevy Chase. Two more - Phil Collins. One more - No.”
11.24am BST
29th over: Pakistan 71-5 (Misbah 5, Shafiq 0) Immediately, Anderson spirits one by Shafiq’s outside edge, and it’ll be interesting to see how he copes with the extra pace and bounce in this pitch.
11.22am BST
This one gets big on Masood and he can’t help but follow it, guiding a comfortable catch into the hands of a giggling Root, hip-height and at second slip.
11.21am BST
29th over: Pakistan 71-4 (Misbah 5, Masood 39) Anderson strays onto Masood’s pads and is duly turned down to midwicket for four; England have four slips in now.
11.18am BST
28th over: Pakistan 67-4 (Misbah 5, Masood 35) Stuart Broad’s books look a lot like the original Nike Air 180s, “sneakerheads” will no doubt have noticed, when taking time off from calling people “dude”. On which point, a question for the fashionistas among us: is it ever acceptable to wear trainers with a syoot? And if so, when and why? One off the over, it’s final delivery swinging and jumping like nobody’s business.
11.13am BST
27th over: Pakistan 66-4 (Misbah 5, Masood 34) Anderson’s first delivery is a beaut, on a length and leaving Misbah off the seam, missing his edge; he smiles. And well he might, because keeping his bat out of the road there required no little skill. Another maiden.
11.10am BST
26th over: Pakistan 66-4 (Misbah 5, Massod 34) It’s Broad, not Woakes, and his first ball goes past Misbah’s outside-edge - but he overstepped. He grooves himself thereafter but, finding a full length and decent carry without being especially threatening, and then Misbah turns the final delivery to mid-on, sets off, and Moeen field well the shies - it’s a good effort, too, but misses and Misbah was home anyhow.
11.05am BST
25th over: Pakistan 64-4 (Misbah 4, Masood 34) Misbah drops hands on Anderson’s loosener, well-fielded in the gully, and then clips two to midwicket and a single to backward-square-leg. Immediately, Anderson’s around the wicket to Masood, and there seems to be a bit of swing for him, before an edge bounces just in front of Vince at third slip - he gets a hand to it - but it goes for four nonetheless. Productive over.
11.00am BST
Jimmy Anderson is marking out his run...
10.59am BST
Here come the chaps.
10.58am BST
There are many better films out there than Withnail, but are there any with better lines? Pulp Fiction is the only one I can think of that comes close.
10.57am BST
“I hope Gary’s red was a Margaux”, emails Ian Copestake. 53, no doubt.
10.55am BST
Back to spin bowling, here’s Rob Smyth on why England should be picking Rashid ahead of Moeen.
10.51am BST
“I avoid drinking wine from the bottle,” admits Gary Naylor, “although I had red in one hand and white in the other for Withnail and I at the Scala.”
Real men were on lighter fuel.
10.50am BST
I appear to have misheard - it’s Saqlain Mushtaq, owner of the world’s best twitter biography.
10.45am BST
Mushtaq Ahmed is coming on telly. Accordingly:
10.43am BST
“Sake? At this time of the day?” pre-empts @HappyInWaders. “Surely vodka is the drink for the morning session?”
At Lord’s last summer, the chap in front of me was drinking wine directly from the bottle at start of play. A management consultant might call it “cutting out the middle man”.
10.39am BST
Saké
10.33am BST
Sake 2.
England huddle up on day 3 as light rain falls in Manchester. Fingers crossed it clears up for 11am start #ENGvPAK pic.twitter.com/UjE6JsHTIT
10.33am BST
Sake.
Heavy drops of rain on way to ground.
10.04am BST
We all enjoy pontificating and rhapsodising about the ability of Pakistan to do amazing things from improbable situations, because that’s what we and they do. But that’s not easy this morning, for they are in a circumstance: 532 runs behind, not a huge amount of batting left, and a handy, fresh attack. Ah.
So, it would not be at all surprising to see Alastair Cook faced with a decision at some point later today: to enforce or not to enforce. Naturally conservative, he’d probably prefer another swipe, but the rain forecast for tomorrow and Tuesday might force greater enterprise.
Continue reading...July 23, 2016
Celtic v Leicester City: International Champions Cup - as it happened
Leicester won on penalties after an enjoyable game in which Riyad Mahrez gave a masterclass either side of his goal
7.36pm BST
Leicester win on penalties after an enjoyable game, in which Riyad Mahrez played preposterously well. Thanks for your company, goodnight!
Related: Leicester City’s unsettled Riyad Mahrez scores stunner against Celtic
7.36pm BST
Schmeichel flies to his left to save from Forrest! Celtic 5-5 Leicester
So, Amartey can win it for Leicester. And he does, placing it high into the net.
7.34pm BST
Allan dances around the ball and sends Schmeichel the wrong way. Celtic 3-2 Leicester.
Drinkwater smashes his penalty high into the net. Celtic 3-3 Leicester.
7.31pm BST
Celtic go first, with Ciftci scoring superbly: 1-0 Celtic.
Fuchs smacks the ball into the side-netting and almost through Fasan’s heads. 1-1
7.24pm BST
The result is about right. Celtic had more of the ball, Leicester had the better chances. Now both teams will have at least five chances from the penalty spot.
7.21pm BST
90 min A lovely curling cross from a narrow position by Simpson is headed over the keeper Fasan but also the bar by Okazaki. That was a good chance to win it.
7.19pm BST
89 min It’s moving towards penalties. Thanks a lot, lads.
7.18pm BST
87 min The Celtic fans in the safe standing area are jauntily doing a Poznan. That safe-standing section is such a good idea, and will hopefully become more commonplace.
7.17pm BST
86 min One thing is clear from this game: Leicester’s counter-attacking approach hasn’t changed one but from last season.
7.14pm BST
82 min Another excellent pass from Drinkwater finds Fuchs, whose fierce low cross is cleared by Ambrose on the six-yard line. Drinkwater has been a level above everyone but Mahrez in this game.
7.10pm BST
79 min Surely you can’t play for penalties, not in a friendly. Come on lads, do the decent thing. The darts is on in a minute!
7.09pm BST
78 min An excellent interception from the substitute Huth keeps the score at 1-1. Huth seems so old-school that I sincerely hope he went on a six-week steak-and-Heineken binge to celebrate the title, before sweating it all off on Wanlip Hill.
7.08pm BST
76 min The other substitute was the Australian Tom Rogic, who is an Australian professional football player who plays as an attacking midfielder for Scottish Premiership club Celtic and the Australia national team.
7.06pm BST
75 min A few more Celtic substitutions: Allan, Christie and SOMEBODY ELSE, OKAY on; Brown, Griffiths and Armstrong off.
7.05pm BST
71 min Drinkwater has been excellent today as well. He looks like the kind of man who would give 110 per cent even when he’s playing with his kids. That’s if he has kids, I have no idea, I don’t work for G2.
7.02pm BST
70 min Christian ‘Uwe’ Fuchs replaces the magnificent Riyad Mahrez, who is applauded off by both sets of fans. When we write the Joy of Six: Individual Performances in the International Champions Cup, this will be top of the list. He was unbelievably good.
7.01pm BST
69 min A reminder: if this is a draw it’ll go to penalties and I’ll miss more of
the Bond marathon on TNT
the darts.
7.01pm BST
67 min Mahrez beats O’Connell with ease on the right of the box but then hits his cross just behind Musa, who would have had an open goal. This, in the parlance of our time, has been a clinic from Mahrez.
6.59pm BST
64 min Celtic have switched to a 4-2-3-1. Do tactics count in per-season games?
6.58pm BST
61 min Substitutions galore.
Celtic Fasan, Forrrest, Johansen, Ciftci on; McGregor, Roberts, Dembele and Gordon off.
6.54pm BST
An excellent equaliser from Eoghan O’Connell. A blocked shot rebounded towards him, 25 yards from goal. He waved his team-mates away, ran around the ball and placed a precise low shot into the far bottom corner. That’s such a good goal, especially for a defender.
6.52pm BST
57 min Griffiths blooters one high and wide from 25 yards.
6.47pm BST
55 min “This is one of the best meaningless fixtures I’ve ever seen,” says Matt Richman. “I know so many of these players did nothing during the tournament season, but I want to believe there’s a motivation behind this pace. Did Morgan diss Brown over Twitter or something modern like that?”
6.45pm BST
53 min Musa shows ridiculous pace to beat the keeper Gordon to a ball on the right-wing. His cross pinballs around the box until Schlupp’s shot is deflected wide.
6.45pm BST
52 min Kolo Toure is at the ground for the match, having had a medical today.
6.42pm BST
49 min Chris Waddle knows.
6.39pm BST
Riyad Mahrez shows his genius with a gorgeous goal. Ulloa won a long ball and flicked it on to Mahrez. He zig-zagged infield, running at both O’Connell and Izaguirre as he moved into the box. Then he came back onto his left foot and whipped a wonderful curler into the far top corner. It was very similar to his famous goal against Chelsea, though a bit further out, and it was in an International Champions Cup game. Wonderful.
6.37pm BST
46 min Leicester begin the second half, kicking from left to right.
6.36pm BST
Half-time substitutions
Leicester Schmeichel, Musa, Simpson and Schlupp on; Zieler, Albrighton, Mendy and Gray off.
6.21pm BST
Some half-time reading
Related: Sam Allardyce may be the man for England’s lowest ebb but doubts linger
Related: Golden Goal: Roberto Baggio for Juventus against Internazionale (1992) | Rob Smyth
6.20pm BST
Peep peep! A nice half of football, without the reward of goals. See you in 10 minutes.
6.19pm BST
44 min Griffiths wins another corner, this time on the left. Armstrong’s inswinger is headed clear again by Ulloa. Lalala
6.19pm BST
43 min A good run Roberts brings a corner for Celtic, which will be swung in McGregor. Ulloa does very well to head clear a few yards from goal.
6.13pm BST
38 min ... and it’s a decent save by Zieler. Griffiths smashed it hard and low, but it was to Zieler’s side and he dived to his left to palm it behind.
6.12pm BST
37 min Dembele produces a Cruyff-turn and is fouled right on the edge of the area by Hernandez. Griffiths will hit this...
6.10pm BST
36 min If this game is a draw, we’ll have a penalty shoot-out
and I’ll miss even more of the darts
. I’m surprised it’s goalless as there has been some really incisive football, particularly from Leicester.
6.08pm BST
34 min The left-back Chilwell heads straight at Gordon after more brilliant play from Mahrez. He should have scored. Mahrez is so good.
6.06pm BST
31 min After a good pass from Mahrez, Gray’s 20-yard curler deflects off Janko and loops just wide of the far post. Mahrez’s corner is cleared.
6.05pm BST
30 min It’s a pleasant game this, with some nice attacking from both sides. Mahrez has literally oozed class, which Patrick Roberts has shown some really nice touches, if not always the best decision-making
6.03pm BST
29 min “Bloody hell Luis Hernandez can throw a ball!” says Stuart Graves. “Really happy with our transfer activity this S=summer - we seem to have very nicely complemented the squad. Beginning to sink in that Number 14 TheKanteTwins don’t play for us anymore.”
His replacement Nampalys Mendy has an excellent reputation, though I think there’s only of him.
6.02pm BST
26 min “I’m not sure if that was wise or evil strategy posting a one-hour video of great goals to distract from this friendly-disguised-as-a-tournament,” says Hubert O’Hearn. “It’s rather the equivalent of taking one’s Dad our for lunch on his 25th anniversary and bringing him to a strip bar. What was expected to be the focus of his day will quite pale in comparison.”
That’s only thing that would pale in such circumstances, I suppose.
6.00pm BST
24 min Another exhilarating piece of play from Mahrez. He kills Drinkwater’s superb crossfield pass, vrooms infield away from Izaguirre and whips a curler just wide of the far post from the right corner of the box. Brilliant skill. Drinkwater has been excellent so far as well. It’s hard to believe he couldn’t make the England squad.
5.58pm BST
23 min A brilliant run from Mahrez takes him 50 yards and past three players before his low shot is blocked. If Arsenal sign him, he might be the difference between fifth and first; he’s that good.
5.55pm BST
20 min Gordon comes for a long throw and gets nowhere near it, with the ball bouncing around the Celtic area for a bit before it is cleared.
5.55pm BST
18 min Dembele does really well to manufacture a snapshot on the turn from 15 yards, and Zieler plunges to his right to make a good save. Celtic are playing some nice stuff, as Brendan Rodgers’ teams usually do. I fancy them to get 100 league goals this season, and maybe even break the club record, which I think is 116.
5.52pm BST
15 min Apropos very little, look at this for a piece of defending from the second golden age of catenaccio.
5.47pm BST
11 min A lovely move from Leicester that should have led to the first goal. Mahrez moves infield and plays a reverse pass back out to Drinkwater on the right. He curls a Beckhamish first-time pass-cross behind the defence to Ulloa, who sidefoots wide of the far post from 10 yards. He was sent flying by Janko in the process of shooting and wanted a penalty, but it wasn’t given.
They’ll be talking about that one for years.
5.42pm BST
7 min “Hazard on the Celtic bench,” says Dave. “Have I missed an earlier joke or something - but he’s listed there!”
Eden doesn’t have a trademark on the surname; it’s Conor, a young goalkeeper I think.
5.40pm BST
5 min Scott Brown marauds purposefully towards goal, takes aim from 20 yards, and dribbles a pitiful effort miles wide.
5.39pm BST
3 min The first chance goes to Leicester. Albrighton muscles Scott Brown aside on the left wing and cuts the ball back to Drinkwater, whose first-time sidefoot from 15 yards is blocked by Izaguirre. I think it was going wide of the far post anyway.
5.36pm BST
2 min There’s a lively atmosphere at Celtic Park. Is this news?
5.35pm BST
1 min Celtic, in green-and-white hoops, kick off from left to right. Leicester are in red.
5.32pm BST
“Hands off that bloody sand!”
Leicester’s pre-season preparations have come a long way, from Wanlip Hill to the International Champions Cup.
5.22pm BST
Celtic (3-5-2) Gordon; Janko, Lustig, O’Connell; Roberts, McGregor, Brown, Armstrong, Izaguirre; Griffiths, Dembele.
Subs: Fasan, Ciftci, Christie, Rogic, Allan, Fisher, Forrest, Henderson, Ambrose, Hazard
Leicester (4-4-2) Zieler; Amartey, Hernandez, Morgan, Chilwell; Mahrez, Mendy, Drinkwater, Albrighton; Ulloa, Gray.
Subs: Schmeichel, Huth, Musa, Schlupp, Simpson, Okazaki, Wasilewski, Fuchs.
5.13pm BST
“To be honest, could have done with the off season lasting until December this year,” says Graham Randall. “Still trying to get my head around my team being champions of England. Still doesn’t seem quite real.”
I doubt it ever will. It’s easily the most unlikely title win in English football history. And they didn’t just sneak it either; they walked it by 10 points! I hope this season goes well for them, although I don’t think it will. But if it doesn’t, who cares? This team are immortal, and that won’t change even if they get relegated with eight points.
5.07pm BST
This season Celtic have introduce safe standing, which was used in the friendly against Wolfsburg.
5.00pm BST
A bit of pre-match reading
Here’s an old Joy of Six on battles of Britain, including Celtic’s magnificent victory over Leeds in 1969-70.
Related: Football: The Joy of Six - All-British European ties
5.00pm BST
Related: Kolo Touré set to join Celtic after undergoing medical in Glasgow
4.40pm BST
Hello. Some meatheads will say this match between Celtic and Leicester is a pre-season friendly, or even a mid-season friendly in Celtic’s case. They are wrong. This is the opening match of the USA/Europe section of the International Champions Cup, and not one person of sound mind would dispute this blurb from :
In the summer of 2013, Stephen M. Ross and Relevent Sports revolutionized the international soccer landscape by organizing the Guinness International Champions Cup (ICC), transforming the standard European club preseason tour into something remarkable: a competitive, world-class tournament.
Continue reading...July 22, 2016
Golden Goal: Roberto Baggio for Juventus against Internazionale (1992) | Rob Smyth
This perfect one-two shattered a watertight defence and demonstrated the skill, charm and calm that made Baggio so popular with fans, if not always coaches
Madonna’s cone bra is one of the more iconic pieces of pop couture. It was designed by Jean-Paul Gaultier for her 1990 Blonde Ambition tour, and went for £32,500 at auction in 2012. It was not the only memorable garment she wore in concert that summer. On 10 July 1990, two days after the World Cup final, she appeared in Rome and, during her performance of Causing a Commotion, wore an Italy shirt with the No15 on the back. The shirt belonged to Roberto Baggio, who had charmed Madonna during Italia 90. “That goal against Czechoslovakia was marvellous,” she said, instantly providing more insight than some studio pundits of the time. “I didn’t know his name then but that goal and his big green eyes conquered me.”
Madonna was not the only one to surrender to Baggio during and after that goal. It turned the ITV commentator Alan Parry into Meg Ryan – “Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes!” – and made everyone outside Italy realise why Juventus had just paid Fiorentina a world-record £8m for his right foot. From that moment on, at home and abroad, Baggio was the people’s champion – a kind of deluxe, Italian Matthew Le Tissier. He was mistrusted and occasionally humiliated by many high-profile coaches, and won hardly anything. But like Le Tissier, he made up for the lack of medals with the intangible adoration of millions.
Related: Golden Goal: Gabriel Batistuta for Fiorentina v Arsenal (1999) | Rob Smyth
Related: Serie A classic: Ronaldo v Baggio
Continue reading...July 20, 2016
Lincoln Red Imps: ‘Celtic are great but we want to finish the job’
The last time Mick McElwee went to Parkhead was in December 2011. He was among the Celtic fans, celebrating when Joe Ledley headed the only goal of a tumultuous match against Rangers. “When they have a full house at Celtic,” McElwee says, “the atmosphere is difficult to describe.” On Wednesday night he hopes there will be a wall of silence. McElwee returns as assistant manager of Lincoln Red Imps, aiming to cause one of European football’s greatest upsets.
This is a David-and-Goliath story with a twist. In domestic competition, Lincoln Red Imps are the ultimate Goliaths. They have won the Gibraltar Premier Division for the past 14 seasons. Overall they have won 22 league titles and 35 cups in their 40-year existence.
Related: Brendan Rodgers defends Celtic players before Lincoln Red Imps return
Related: Shock of Gibraltar: is Celtic’s defeat by Lincoln Red Imps their worst ever?
Continue reading...July 19, 2016
Why now is the time for England to bring in Adil Rashid for Moeen Ali | Rob Smyth
When Moeen Ali made his Test debut two years ago, he was picked as a stylish No6 batsman who could do a passable job as the only spinner. It was a clever short-term solution while England got their bearings after the Ashes whitewash, allowing them to appraise whether Moeen was a Test batsman and wait for a slow bowler to emerge. The quick fix has lasted two years, however. England are little the wiser about Moeen, his role – he has batted as an opener and everywhere from No6 to No9 – or who the next spinner might be.
Related: Win tickets to the first day of the third Test between England and Pakistan
Continue reading...July 14, 2016
England v Pakistan: first Test, day one – as it happened
The 42-year-old Misbah-ul-Haq scored an excellent century, and celebrated with 10 press-ups, as Pakistan ended a fascinating first day of the series on 282 for six
6.34pm BST
I’d say Pakistan are just on top, but only just, and England know they have a chance to knife through the lower order with the new ball tomorrow morning. Getting rid of the remarkable Misbah-ul-Haq would be a good start. He waves his bat to all corners of the ground as he walks off on 110 not out. Thanks for your company; night!
6.32pm BST
Woakes has a great chance of his first Test five-for, and maybe even his first Test four-for. He’s been excellent today, and his Test average has dropped from 64 at the start of the summer to 37. Make that 35, because he has bowled Rahat Ali with the last ball of the day! Woakes ends with figures of four for 45, the best of his Test career.
6.27pm BST
86th over: Pakistan 282-5 (Misbah 110, Rahat Ali 0) Misbah jerks out the way of a bouncer from Broad, who has changed ends for the penultimate over of the day. It’s a maiden.
6.23pm BST
85th over: Pakistan 282-5 (Misbah 110, Rahat Ali 0) The new batsman is the nightwatchman Rahat Ali.
6.20pm BST
Woakes, who has probably been England’s best bowler, replaces Broad and beats Shafiq first up with a nice outswinger. And he’s got him second ball! Shafiq felt for a wide outswinger, tried to pull the bat away but did so too late and got a bottom edge through to Bairstow. That’s a big wicket for England so late in the day.
6.17pm BST
84th over: Pakistan 282-4 (Misbah 110, Shafiq 73) Misbah lazily waves a short ball from Ball to third man for four more, although he is beaten outside off stump later in the over. A wicket now would be so valuable for England, especially after a pretty miserable session,
6.13pm BST
83rd over: Pakistan 278-4 (Misbah 106, Shafiq 73) Shafiq punishes Broad for consecutive boundaries with a cut and drive through mid-on. We’re having a few technical issues so apologies for any delayed updates.
6.11pm BST
82nd over: Pakistan 270-4 (Misbah 106, Shafiq 65) Jake Ball shares the new ball, but nothing much is happening for him either. England look tired. Pakistan have a fine chance of taking the lead in a series in England for the first time since 1996.
6.07pm BST
81st over: Pakistan 268-4 (Misbah 104, Shafiq 65) Having the new ball available after 80 overs usually makes for a fascinating end to the first day, such is the scope for a late twist. If Pakistan are four down at the close, it’s their day; if they are six or seven down, it’s England’s. Broad bowls the first over with the second new ball, and nothing of note happens.
“Glorious, beautiful stuff from Misbah,” says Gary Naylor. “He may not have the cache of Lara or a KP, but come 2033, I might just be boring the grandchildren about the day I saw the old man make a hundred at Lord’s.”
6.00pm BST
80th over: Pakistan 267-4 (Misbah 103, Shafiq 65) When I grow up, I want to be Misbah-ul-Haq. He is effortlessly cool and fascinating in ways I can barely understand, never mind articulate. The word ‘unique’ feels inadequate to describe him. He’s just celebrated a Lord’s century aged 42 by doing ten press-ups!
Anyway, it’s time for the second new ball.
5.56pm BST
79th over: Pakistan 262-4 (Misbah 101, Shafiq 62) Desperate times call for James Vince’s bowling. It’s acceptable stuff, wicket-to-wicket medium-pace, but nothing for Pakistan to worry about.
5.54pm BST
78th over: Pakistan 261-4 (Misbah 100, Shafiq 61) Misbah, on 99, fends Finn just short of short leg, but that’s his century! He pushes a single to third man, saunters up the pitch and waves his bat in celebration. Then he gets down on his knees to do 10 press-ups! What a man. If everyone in the world was like Misbah, the world would be a wonderful place. He’s 42 years old, playing his first Test in England, and he has batted beautifully. He’s the oldest Test centurion for 82 years. He is also the first man to celebrate a century at Lord’s with a Brian Jacks impersonation.
5.48pm BST
77th over: Pakistan 259-4 (Misbah 99, Shafiq 61) Moeen bowls a bizarre no-ball, which slips out of the hand and ends up as a very high full toss that goes straight through to Bairstow. Misbah reverse sweeps the last ball for four to move to 99; this has been a magnificent innings.
“You’re right about Moeen,” says James Debens. “I really don’t know what good it does a cricketer to be forced into a role that makes no great use of his gifts. Are you advocating the recall of Rashid? As for other spinning candidates, I don’t watch more than a couple of hours of county cricket a month, to be honest - I’m not the only one.”
5.45pm BST
76th over: Pakistan 253-4 (Misbah 95, Shafiq 60) Misbah gets away from Finn’s end with a single, and Shafiq is more comfortable against the leg-theory. So, Misbah is on 95, and Moeen is bowling the next over. What could possibly happen next?
5.41pm BST
75th over: Pakistan 251-4 (Misbah 94, Shafiq 58) We won’t get all 90 overs, even with the extra half-hour. Play will end at 6.30pm regardless of how many overs have been bowled. Moeen continues to Misbah, who blocks a few deliveries almost for effect in a manner that evokes Sir Ian Botham’s famous last over against John Emburey, and then sweeps three runs.
5.37pm BST
74th over: Pakistan 246-4 (Misbah 91, Shafiq 58) England appeal politely for caught behind when Misbah falls outside the line of a short one from around the wicket. It hit his elbow I think; certainly there was no bat involved. But these are good tactics from England at a time when nothing is happening. I wouldn’t say Misbah looks unsettled - he wouldn’t look unsettled if you dropped a marmot in the etc - but he does loo a little awkward.
5.34pm BST
73rd over: Pakistan 246-4 (Misbah 91, Shafiq 57) Since the India series of 2014, when he bowled beautifully at times, Moeen has played 20 Tests and taken 44 wickets at 48.68. If he was bowling as well as he did in that India series he’d be fine in this role, but he isn’t and he isn’t. The emergence of Stokes and Woakes since 2014 means England can and should pick their best spinner. And if that’s John Emburey, so be it.
5.30pm BST
72nd over: Pakistan 245-4 (Misbah 91, Shafiq 56) This is where England miss Stokes’s force of personality and ability to make things happen. They are really under the pump now and need to regain some control, never mind take wickets. Finn decides to go around the wicket and bomb Misbah, who flicks in the air but short of Vince at leg gully. A decent over from Finn though. I think England are heading for trouble in this match, certainly if Pakistan get over 400.
5.26pm BST
71st over: Pakistan 244-4 (Misbah 91, Shafiq 55) Misbah has total contempt for most spinners, not just Moeen, and he takes him apart in that over with four boundaries. All came from sweeps, two reverse and two orthodox. Wonderful batting. In his idiosyncrasies, his demeanour and so much more, this fellow Misbah is one of the most fascinating characters ever to play the game.
5.19pm BST
70th over: Pakistan 228-4 (Misbah 75, Shafiq 55) Misbah works a short one from Finn off the hip for four, and then Shafiq drives beautifully through extra cover for another boundary. Finn is having a dark day of the soul, and has figures of 16-2-75-0. I can’t believe we are back here so soon after his magnificent bowling in South Africa. England have a big decision when Anderson and Stokes are fit, because dropping Finn would risk sparking another period of introspection.
5.14pm BST
69th over: Pakistan 219-4 (Misbah 70, Shafiq 51) Moeen Ali is coming into the attack. He’s bowled just two overs today, and he is basically playing as a lower-order batsman who bowls a bit. That can’t be right. There is so much to love about Moeen, and he has been messed around a lot for the sake of the team, but I’m not really sure what he’s doing in this side anymore. I’d give him a break, knowing he’ll be back for India. His confidence with the ball must be through the floor, and a miserable long hop is slapped for four more by Shafiq. That brings him to a lovely half-century.
5.11pm BST
68th over: Pakistan 214-4 (Misbah 69, Shafiq 47) Here’s a peculiar stat. Misbah has made more Test fifties (32) than Younus Khan (30). But where Younus has made 31 hundreds, Misbah has made just nine. In other words, or rather just in words, he has a dreadful conversation rate. In ODIs he has famously made 42 fifties and no hundreds. In times of trouble, when the pitch is flat, the ball is old and the batsmen are set, stats can provide such comfort. Misbah’s conversion rate looks like England’s only ope of a wicket at the moment, especially as Shafiq is batting beautifully. Here he plays a storming front-foot cut for four off the struggling Finn. He looks a terrific player.
5.06pm BST
67th over: Pakistan 210-4 (Misbah 69, Shafiq 43) Hello boys! For the 48th time today, a Pakistan batsman - Shafiq this time - edges through the slips for four. There was a big gap between Cook at first slip and Root at
a sort of 3.5
third slip, and, with wearying inevitability, that’s where the ball went. Broad was the bowler.
5.03pm BST
66th over: Pakistan 204-4 (Misbah 68, Shafiq 38) Here comes Finn again, maybe running in a little harder, or maybe I’m staring too hard. And his second ball looks quicker too, Misbah slow to get the bat down on it; it seems to give Finn greater naches than it should. And then he gives Misbah just enough width, so he opens the face and guides it down to third man, Ballance dashing in pursuit - it’s tantalising, he dives, he gets there ... and it’s four anyways.
Here’s Rob Smyth!
4.57pm BST
65th over: Pakistan 199-4 (Misbah 63, Shafiq 38) Short and wide from Broad; Shafiq applies the semi-colon, then the hammer. Four to the meta little rascal. A silly-mid-on comes in, makes no difference, and that’s over.
4.52pm BST
64th over: Pakistan 195-4 (Misbah 63, Shafiq 34) Finn returns, and Shafiq knucks him through cover for three, then nurdles a single into the leg side; they’re going to struggle getting shot of him on this track.
Meanwhile, David Keech emails: “For me it’s a no brainer! Stokes and Anderson will clearly slot straight back into the side when fit – and the 4th seamer position should be just as obviously Woakes. Finn just doesn’t have it at the moment. Tough on Ball, who’s been impressive on debut, but Woakes has proven himself over multiple matches. The big benefit here is that with two genuine all-rounders in Stokes and Woakes we can dispense with the lately dubious services of Ali and get Rashid into the side. We shouldn’t need Ali to score big down the order, Rashid is the better bowler now and no mug with the bat either. I really like the idea of a tail that starts – and ends – with Anderson at #11.”
4.48pm BST
63rd over: Pakistan 190-4 (Misbah 62, Shafiq 30) Shafiq is seeing it now, and he has no trouble whatsoever bumping Broad back to him. He takes a single from the fifth ball when it comes back into him, which is very nicely done - it was easily the best delivery of the over.
4.44pm BST
62nd over: Pakistan 189-4 (Misbah 62, Shafiq 29) Misbah defends Ball, then glances his fifth delivery - how many times will he cause that elegant variation to be typed, the inconveniently-named ingrate - for four.
On telly, they’re laughing at that time Beefy got nutmegged playing a leg-side hoik. I can’t find it to ensure we’re not left out of the merrymaking, so let’s enjoy this instead.
4.40pm BST
61st over: Pakistan 185-4 (Misbah 58, Shafiq 29) Broad returns, curtains bouncing, and he finds some reverse, but Shafiq neutralises it and him fairly comfortably. He looks a very solid, sound player, as he did in the Middle East.
@DanielHarris a slightly more interesting version of Early One Morning https://t.co/AjlqlqQInG
4.35pm BST
60th over: Pakistan 185-4 (Misbah 58, Shafiq 29) Shafiq nudges into the off side and sets off, Misbah doesn’t, Shafiq turns back, Misbah sets off, and both turn up and the striker’s end; spectacular work! Ballance has the all, and could run to the stumps, or pass it, or roll it, or spirit it, but instead he shies, misses - though not by much - and the chance goes. England may rue that, and it’s the only run to come off the over.
4.31pm BST
59th over: Pakistan 184-4 (Misbah 58, Shafiq 28) Misbah turns Woakes down to cow corner for three and Shafiq then flicks two more - he’s really in control now - and to prove it, steps away and deflects to third man for a single one he might have left alone.
“Perhaps, like George Foreman whose sons were all called George, I should have called my two Gary!” says Gary Naylor. Or Barry and Harry.
4.26pm BST
58th over: Pakistan 178-4 (Misbah 55, Shafiq 25) We watch people licking ice creams, then return to them; that is what’s going on in the middle. But then Shafiq steps into one from Ball and caresses it down into the ground for four through mid-off. That was really, really nice. We’ll see what the’s got when the ball does something, but still, lovely timing.
4.23pm BST
57th over: Pakistan 174-4 (Misbah 55, Shafiq 21) A maiden.
4.19pm BST
56th over: Pakistan 174-4 (Misbah 55, Shafiq 21) Another slow over, then Shafiq sends its final ball off the edge for four, making the most of it while he still can.
“Is it too late to join the cabinet reshuffle discussion?” wonders Tom Morgan, perhaps overstating the oringial circumstance and ignorance of the ummutable law that it’s never too late for bad puns. “What about Donald Carr for transport? Chris Old for pensions? Garry Ballance for equality? Sigh.”
4.14pm BST
55th over: Pakistan 169-4 (Misbah 54, Shafiq 17) Woakes gives Shafiq some width, and he absolutely batters it to third man. But Woakes is quickly back at it, kicking one off length that diddles him all ends up. Otherwise, see below.
4.10pm BST
54th over: Pakistan 165-4 (Misbah 54, Shafiq 13) It’s Ball from the Pavilion End, and it really would be better if there was something in this pitch. There isn’t. Tangentially, Beefy was bemoaning the over-rate at tea - England are well behind. Tangentially to that tangent, perhaps this might’ve been a game for Rashid. Anyway, Misbah guides an edge for four more, and this is going to a long session.
4.06pm BST
53rd over: Pakistan 160-4 (Misbah 50, Shafiq 12) Misbah clips one off his toes to bring up a crucial fifty - in his first Test knock in England. During the break the commentary box debated who’s in the better position here, but seems pretty clear to me: it’s England. By the look of things, Pakistan will end up with a below-par total and have to rely on their bowlers. It’s quite dingy now, which might help the bowlers, and Woakes moves one off the seam away from the bat that’s edged - it doesn’t carry, on day 1. Mick Hunt has apparently been saying that he can’t recall a wetter June, and today is the first day with no rain at all in quite some time.
4.02pm BST
So, here we go - Woakes is rewarded for his efforts so far with the ball.
4.00pm BST
“Join Ross Kemp as he visits one of the most dangerous places on earth: Ross Kemp” (investigates Isis). I prefer my punctuated and abridged version.
3.48pm BST
FYI
There are afternoons when the mind just becomes 'obtunded': reduced to a level that sits between lethargy and stupor.
3.43pm BST
52nd over: Pakistan 158-4 (Misbah 48, Shafiq 12) Misbah takes a single off Finn’s first ball, and what follows is better - five dots, and that’s tea. So, England’s session and easily; see you shortly.
3.39pm BST
51st over: Pakistan 157-4 (Misbah 47, Shafiq 12) shafiq drops hands on a wide one from Woakes, edging four between the slips. It’s not a great shot, but the soft hands were well advised. But this is, four beautifully timed down the ground to long off, and he might just have the feel of it now.
3.34pm BST
50th over: Pakistan 149-4 (Misbah 47, Shafiq 4) Finn returns, and he serves Misbah a half-volley - he leans right in and punishes through cover for four. “The captain should say ok Steve, run in and bowl as fast as you can,” offers Botham; “I’m sure he’s trying,” counters Athers. Indeed. And then, after a single to each batter, a useless wide, short one that Misbah cuts to the fence with requite disdain.
3.29pm BST
49th over: Pakistan 139-4 (Misbah 38, Shafiq 3) It’s a curious day, now - quiet, then wicket, quiet, then wicket. And Woakes almost pushes through another, banging one into Shafiq then moving it away - he edges, but it’s wide of gully, and the bowler’s little face crumples in anguish. He’s so much better now than he was, well done to Cook and Bayliss for persevering. Why, it’s almost as though they know more than the internet! Cant it be? Surely not!
3.25pm BST
48th over: Pakistan 137-4 (Misbah 38, Shafiq 1) Single to Misbah off Broad, but off a lovely delivery - shorter, nipping in. He tries avoiding it, can’t, and edges. Then Shafiq edges and that’s him off the mark, before Misbah again drops the bat, again turning to check he’s not played on.
3.20pm BST
47th over: Pakistan 135-4 (Misbah 37, Shafiq 0) Another maiden, and I think we’ll see more of these. England won’t mind too much - at all, even - especially with Shafiq still on 0.
3.16pm BST
46th over: Pakistan 135-4 (Misbah 37, Shafiq 0) Presumably Pakistan will sit in now. They can’t afford to lose any more wickets, and would rather play shots later in the day when the bowlers are more tired. Misbah, upon whom this innings now more or less depends, plays out a maiden.
3.12pm BST
45th over: Pakistan 135-4 (Misbah 37, Shafiq 0) Wicket got, pace back - Woakes, who’s been England’s best bowler today, replaces Moeen. And he almost gets Misbah, who drops the bat on one late, it bounces behind him, and only just beats the bails. Then, another good delivery entices a leading edge, and the ball’s in the air - but only briefly. So, when Anderson returns at Old Trafford, is Woakes now ahead of Finn?
3.08pm BST
44th over: Pakistan 134-4 (Misbah 36, Shafiq 0) That’s a bonus wicket if ever there was one, though credit to England for keeping it tight, and actually finding the swing that wasnae there this morning.
3.05pm BST
Well whaddaya know! Broad’s in at 80mph, it swings a bit, but this is a lazy shot from Younis, crouching the flicking uppishly and directly to midwicket. That did not look on the cards, and Pakistan are in some now.
3.05pm BST
44th over: Pakistan 134-3 (Khan 33, Misbah 36) Broad returns, and, and, and....
3.01pm BST
43rd over: Pakistan 134-3 (Khan 33, Misbah 36) It’s tracks like this which remind you that England lack a pace option. It happened here last year too, when they got mitched, then by strange coincidence, the rest of the pitches were exactly suitable for their bowlers. Anyway, Misbah has had enough, so goes down on one knee and shmices Moeen over midwicket for four.
2.58pm BST
42nd over: Pakistan 129-3 (Khan 32, Misbah 32) Younis turns down a single, Moeen chucks anyway, hits the stumps, and cedes three overthrows; that’s the fifty partnership, and the receipt of some opinions from SJ Broad. No further runs from the over.
2.54pm BST
41st over: Pakistan 126-3 (Khan 29, Misbah 32) Moeen on at the Nursery End - he’d have wanted the Pavilion, reckons Gower. Misbah “be like”:
2.50pm BST
40th over: Pakistan 117-3 (Khan 24, Misbah 28) Woakes into the attack and on the money straight away, but I’d still ID him if if he came into my imaginary newsagent. Talking of which, whatever happened to those straw-like, long, hollow sweets with sour sugar on the outside. Had they a name? Bumble now interviews the mascot, with hilarious consequences, as the OBO plays the Leave/Remain parlour game with the Sky commentary crew. One off the over.
2.43pm BST
39th over: Pakistan 116-3 (Khan 28, Misbah 23) Nasser disagrees with Selve, saying that Finn need to flow towards slip, not fall away down the hill. Naturally, I think that they’re both right. Misbah clips a straight one to square-leg for two, and then strays to leg and disappears to the fine leg boundary - it’s not working for him at the moment. Drinks.
2.39pm BST
Been on at Cook for ages to bowl Finn from Nursery. I think he will hold his action better. Looking good so far.
2.38pm BST
38th over: Pakistan 110-3 (Khan 23, Misbah 22) Ball is back, and Misbah takes a single of his first delivery, which is all the action for the over.
2.35pm BST
37th over: Pakistan 109-3 (Khan 23, Misbah 21) Finn falls away down the slope and is just too straight to Misbah, who whips him away for four in a trice. This partnership is away now, and Ball won’t have many, if any overs left in this spell.
“Either I’m a grade A pedant or just sad, but why are a full member Zimbabwe being treated as if they don’t exist?” ” emails Krishnan Patel. “Atherton and Hussain told us that only 3 cricketers (Hafeez, Younus, Misbah) in this match have ‘played international cricket in Pakistan’. But this is blatantly false as upto 8 players in the playing XI have played cricket in Pakistan. Everyone except the two at the crease, Amir, Masood and Rahat were involved in the Zimbabwe series.”
2.31pm BST
36th over: Pakistan 103-3 (Khan 22, Misbah 16) Ball keeps at it - he looks a strong fellow - strong could wrestle a crocodile strong. And he brings one back down the slope to Misbah, crunching him on the pad - there’s a strangled appeal, because it was just too high.
2.27pm BST
35th over: Pakistan 102-3 (Khan 22, Misbah 16) If Theresa May, but Mark Wood, maybe we’ve got the wrong Prime Minister. Talking of whom, he’ll soon be back in contention for his Test place - Steven Finn, who’s not looked himself this summer, is on notice. Misbah takes one in the dress circle, so there’s a break, and Finn draws him across the stumps with a shorter one - they’re looking to get him ellbae. It thwacks the pad, and the bowler reckons it’s gone, but no one else does, though Cook feels his pain, and then two are run down the hill to the Tavern for two and three respectively. And then, after a single to Younis, Misbah somehow edges a full one with his bat jammed down - is it a bump ball? - no it’s not! But Root drops, one-handed? It wasn’t a dolly by any stretch, but he’s there because he’s good at getting it did; he’s not wringing his wrist, presumably contemplating the horror that might no be wrought.
2.18pm BST
34rd over: Pakistan 96-3 (Khan 21, Misbah 11) Ball continues, and with his first ball, tempts Misbah across his stumps, to miss with an attempted turn to leg. There’s a rejected shout, but Cook reckons there was an edge; Hotspot says not, Snicko identifies a sound. So Ball powers back in and jags one back in - Misbah offers it the pad, but had no choice really, and is saved by height, though only just. And then comes a bouncer, which is too good for Younis - it’s a good over, this - and it looks to brush the glove on its way to the fence, but four byes are signalled.
2.13pm BST
33rd over: Pakistan 91-3 (Khan 21, Misbah 11) Broad in and extracts some extra bounce; it’s going over his shoulder,so he hooks, gloving four to fine leg. That’s the first boundary of the afternoon, and it’s quickly followed by another: he hangs back in the crease, waits for it, and presents the full face to punch a four that says I’m better than you. He adds a single next ball, and that’s a good over for Pakistan, though Broad has Younis hopping with a yorker - and then a length ball!
2.08pm BST
32nd over: Pakistan 82-3 (Khan 21, Misbah 2) Question for the fashionistas: at what point of recession does dignity bind one to remove all hair? We have just enjoyed a chap in a box who had a full head, if full head begins behind the crown. Younis is jigging about at the crease, and nips one into the covers for a single, then Misbah does similarly and they dash through with conviction.
2.05pm BST
31st over: Pakistan 80-3 (Khan 20, Misbah 1) You fancy that England might struggle to extract Younis on this track. But it’s Misbah facing, and Broad bangs one in a little shorter which he takes in the midriff. The camera shows us a man with two kids - a toddler and a baby - and that is a remarkable show of cojones, or at least, the OBO would not. Maiden.
2.01pm BST
30th over: Pakistan 80-3 (Khan 20, Misbah 1) Ball has excellent control, and he sends down another tight over, which yields just a leg-bye. He does give Younis some width with the last ball, and he drives but doesn’t time it, Ballance diving to intercept at point.
1.58pm BST
29th over: Pakistan 79-3 (Khan 20, Misbah 1) So, if England can remove even one of these, Pakistan have a problem. Younis nudges a single into the off side, giving Broad five balls at Misbah. And the last is a pearler, reversing - or swinging, but I think the former - into the batsman, clipping the glove and not far from the stumps.
“Bit selfish of him to deny Woakesy the ten-for,” chides Gareth Fitzgerald, but it’s not like that; he’s the ultimate team-man.
1.53pm BST
28th over: Pakistan 77-3 (Khan 19, Misbah 0) Ball bowled nicely this morning, so earned that. “Going forward”, I wonder what kind of role they expect him to take, but for the meantime, he’s done well.
1.50pm BST
I wonder if DRS delay ruins the expected buzz of such a moment, or given that you’ve been waiting a lifetime for it, it just doesn’t matter.
1.49pm BST
Might just have been going down...
1.49pm BST
He hurls a full one that draws Azhar forward, pushes him back as he loses it in the flight, wallops his pad just after it pitches and knocks him off his feet ... but they review ...
1.48pm BST
28th over: Pakistan 76-2 (Ali 17, Khan 18) Ball back at his preferred Pavilion End - I wondered if they might have given Broad a run there, but fair play to Alastair Cook for sticking with him.
1.46pm BST
27th over: Pakistan 76-2 (Ali 17, Khan 18) Broad opens up fromm the Nursery End as Beefy talks about the gloriousness of the day, which tells us just how miserable the summer has been; it’s ok, but far from this, let alone that. At what date do you call a bust a bust and accept that it’s not happening for another year? Maiden.
“Good afternoon Daniel,” says Adam Horridge. “All this morning’s cut-throat cabinet reshuffling has (naturally) led me to reflect on cricketers that would be particularly suited to cabinet positions. Boycott for defence seems too obvious...”
1.42pm BST
And play.
1.42pm BST
If, by amazing chance, you were spending two of the next three days at Haitch-Cue guzzling everything in sight, what would your essentials be? (Asks someone who has just happened upon a little bottle of Jamaica rum cream).
1.39pm BST
Afternoon everyone. Well, it’s been fascinating so far, and we’re eyes back down for more of the same. Neither side has quite ignited yet, but they will.
1.03pm BST
26th over: Pakistan 76-2 (Ali 7, Khan 18) Finn bowls the last over before lunch, the seventh of his spell, and has two men back so that he can try to rough up the batsmen. Younus jumps outside the line of a short one, and then tries to steal a quick single to get off strike. Azhar invites him to talk to the glove, because he has no intention of facing any more deliveries before lunch. Younus wears one on the shoulder from the last ball, and that concludes an interesting morning session. Chris Woakes took both wickets, Jake Ball bowled nicely on debut, and Younus Khan looked in excellent touch.
Thanks for your company; Daniel Harris will be with you after lunch.
12.58pm BST
25th over: Pakistan 76-2 (Ali 7, Khan 18) A bit of inswing from Broad to Azhar, who watches it past his off stump. He is another expert in the dying art of batting time, and has seven from 34 balls.
“The best story of being ID’d I’ve heard is the one where my brother’s friend, on his 18th birthday (late 2004), went to purchase alcohol specifically to get asked to show ID,” says Ed Taylor. “He did get stopped, to his delight, and in celebration decided to open one of his beers outside the shop. It was at this point he realised he’d purchased non-alcoholic lager.” And they didn’t even have Brewdog Nanny State back then. Dark days.
12.55pm BST
24th over: Pakistan 76-2 (Ali 7, Khan 18) Younus again hustles Finn through mid-off for four, a really good shot. He looks ominously certain at the crease.
“One issue for Pakistan is while they may have a slight edge on England in the bowling ranks (Yasir Shah could run through England on a deteriorating surface), they have almost nothing from 8 down (Riaz more a useful number 10),” says Andrew Hurley. “Their middle order from 3 - 6 is as good as any in world cricket, but they need to score the vast majority of their runs...
12.51pm BST
23rd over: Pakistan 70-2 (Ali 7, Khan 12) Stuart Broad replaces Chris Woakes (6-2-18-2) and starts with a wide. The rest of the over is ignored or defended by Azhar. Broad’s pace is down at around 80mph; he’s probably keeping something in the tank for the more helpful Old Trafford surface next week.
“Stokes is undoubtedly a matchwinner but don’t you think that the media and public overlook the dud matches of exciting players?” says Keith Brown. “Look at Brendon McCullum, a feared slayer of bowlers supposedly, and yet only averages 30 with the bat in ODIs.”
12.45pm BST
22nd over: Pakistan 69-2 (Ali 7, Khan 12) Younus Khan looks in excellent touch and drives Finn through mid-off for four. We sometimes forget, because of Misbah, that Younus is 38 himself. He has an ugly technique, with his back foot flicking out to the off side after every stroke. It works.
“I agree about Rashid, I think he might be more effective in English conditions than as a second spinner in Asia,” says Tim Sanders. “In the UAE he seemed to get almost too much turn when he bowled a good ball, and the slow pitches exacerbated his tendency to slow pace. All spinners love a bit of bounce and carry, and he particularly benefits from it. His limited overs form isn’t necessarily a guide, because a risk-free 3-4 per over is poor for Test cricket, but he has been markedly more accurate and consistent recently.”
12.39pm BST
21st over: Pakistan 65-2 (Ali 7, Khan 8) Woakes continues; just two from a good over. I doubt we’ll see too much of Moeen today, although he’ll want to bowl in the second innings after Pakistan’s left-armers have created some rough.
12.37pm BST
20th over: Pakistan 63-2 (Ali 6, Khan 7) “Dan Lucas doesn’t know he’s born (13th over),” says Damian Walsh. “I queued to get into the Walkabout in Birmingham where Joe Root famously got clocked. The group of thirtysomethings in front of me all got IDed but when I got to the front and proffered my ID the bouncer chuckled patronisingly and told me, ‘You don’t need that sir’.
It’s just as bad when people make a joke of asking you for ID. That’s happened to me recently. If someone offers me a seat on the tube, I plan to go postal.
12.31pm BST
19th over: Pakistan 63-2 (Ali 6, Khan 7) Younus Khan has been busy at the start of his innings, stealing a few quick singles. Woakes has a really big shout for LBW against Azhar Ali, but Cook - because of that reluctant review earlier - can’t risk having another look and having no reviews for 61 overs. I don’t think it would have been overturned anyway.
“Here’s a fun ID card scheme/obscure 80s Indie band reference for you, Rob,” says Phil Sawyer. “My mates and I found the adverts of the recently introduced ID cards to use in pubs and offies in the 80s rather amusing as the example name they used on it was Guy Chadwick, also the name of the lead singer of seminal shoe gazers The House of Love. I lied. It wasn’t fun. Anyway, I’m off to spend all of my lunch hour humming Christine now.” You know they were Maggie’s favourite band, right?
12.26pm BST
18th over: Pakistan 58-2 (Ali 2, Khan 6) England fancy Younus Khan with the full, straight delivery early on. Finn tries one and is put away for four, but that’s a fair enough risk.
“On the Woakes point, I agree he has improved markedly, and deserves huge credit,” says Andrew Hurley. “For me, he should keep his place ahead of Stokes. Stokes fires in either discipline once in every 10/12 innings, and the plaudits he receives for those performances somehow last through all the average bowling and bone-headed batting performances he throws in. There’s nothing wrong with a player who fires now and again, but he doesn’t do it nearly often enough (to merit the media acclaim he gets). His averages are poor and Woakes deserves to stay in ahead of him (even if there is a slightly different beatnik/bowling balance between the two).”
12.22pm BST
17th over: Pakistan 53-2 (Ali 2, Khan 1) Younus Khan, who has more runs and a better average than any batsman in Pakistan’s history, is the new man.
12.19pm BST
Chris Woakes strikes again! Hafeez tried to flick-pull a short ball to leg and spooned it miles in the air. Bairstow scampered round towards gully and took an easy catch. That was a poor stroke in its conception, and an even worse one in its execution. But what a terrific start from Woakes, who has two for nine from 3.4 overs.
12.16pm BST
16th over: Pakistan 46-1 (Hafeez 36, Ali 0) Finn beats Hafeez’s attempted hook with a sharp short ball. Bairstow half-appealed for caught behind and, although it seemed to beat the glove and top-edge, there was a little spike on Snicko. As Nasser says on Sky, it could have been anything. The follow-up delivery is full, straight and flicked deliciously through midwicket for four.
I doubt Theresa May's love of @GeoffreyBoycott & Tony Gray started at Abbeydale Park in 1985 but it should have done https://t.co/i8yVtMrKkC
12.10pm BST
15th over: Pakistan 42-1 (Hafeez 32, Ali 0) Woakes skids one past Azhar Ali’s indeterminate push and then tests him with a couple of yorkers, both of which are dug out. He looks a serious bowler at the moment, and his batting gives England so many options.
12.04pm BST
14th over: Pakistan 42-1 (Hafeez 32, Ali 0) Steven Finn replaces Jake Ball (6-2-22-0) and gets some encouraging swing in his first over. Finn is swinging it, Woakes is roughing people up; everything 2013 knew was wrong. When he does drop short, Hafeez works him for four. That’s drinks.
“Morning Rob,” says Simon McMahon. “Just back from holiday (hipster town of Antibes on the Cote D’Azur since you don’t ask) and we’ve got Murray on the Open and Smyth on the OBO. I think that’s what called a dream ticket. If you two fancy politics, I’d vote for you.”
11.59am BST
13th over: Pakistan 38-1 (Hafeez 28, Ali 0) Actually, that was a good catch from Bairstow because the ball swung away from him at the last minute. The excellent Azhar Ali is the new batsman. Chris Woakes is having quite a summer. Whether he makes it or not as a Test cricketer in the long term, there is so much to admire about the way he has reinvented himself and improved despite constant criticism. There’s a moral in his story: STOP TWITTER.
“If it makes James Taylor (who is totally reading this) feel any better,” begins my colleague Dan Lucas, “I got refused service in a pub in Teignmouth last night as I didn’t have ID. I am 30, balding and have white in my beard.” Yeah, well, I got asked for ID at my own funeral.
11.55am BST
Chris Woakes strikes with a beauty. It zipped from just back of a length to take the edge as Masood flirted with a back-foot drive, and Jonny Bairstow claimed a comfortable catch to his left.
11.53am BST
12th over: Pakistan 38-0 (Hafeez 28, Masood 7) Hafeez tries to pull Ball and is almost bowled. He got in a bit of a tangle, with the ball deflecting off umpteen parts off his body before dribbling just wide of leg stump. This has been a decent first spell from Ball, with few discernible nerves and a decent rhythm. He has another strangled LBW shout when a huge off-cutter thuds into Hafeez’s pad. It did too much and might have missed leg. It was also too high.
“Morning Rob,” says Chris Drew. “Happy Bastille Day from France, country of the current Olympic cricket vice-champions.”
11.49am BST
11th over: Pakistan 37-0 (Hafeez 28, Masood 8) The new, improved, you-were-right-and-we-were-wrong Chris Woakes replaces Broad. His second ball draws an edge from Masood that dies before scuttling through the slips for four more. England are starting to get a little frustrated by all these edges.
11.46am BST
10th over: Pakistan 32-0 (Hafeez 28, Masood 3) This is a chip-away day for England. If Pakistan are, say, 270 for seven at the close, that’ll be a terrific day’s work. At the moment, the smarter money might be on 270 for four; Hafeez leans into a floaty outswinger from Ball and clatters it square for four. Ball’s response is a good one: the next ball beats the outside edge, and the delivery after that finds the outside edge before flying through the slips for four. It was a nothing shot from Hafeez outside off, but the ball went between third slip and gully at catchable height. Actually, Vince at third slip might have been able to dive for that.
Now then, that commute tonight. Instead of losing another bar on your will-to-live battery as some nugget talks ostentatiously on the phone about how many squat thrusts he does before 6am every morning, because “I want to give the girls a love they can’t handle”, listen to this excellent podcast from two of the world’s better young cricket writers.
Related: Freelance Cricket Club podcast: with fun-loving Kiwi all-rounder Jimmy Neesham
11.40am BST
9th over: Pakistan 24-0 (Hafeez 20, Masood 3) Hafeez gets the drive just right this time, punching Broad through the covers for four. He has looked good in this first over and is hogging the score and the strike.
“Morning Rob,” says Guy Hornsby. “With all the other turmoil and angst in the world, it’s great that we have Test cricket back here to give us its own blend of both of those things. This should be a great series, and not just because I’m going on Saturday to watch us
skittle Pakistan
flog our bowlers into the ground on a flat wicket. Still, Lord’s is a wonderful thing, and while we have play the rest of the world can bloody do one. Right, RIGHT?”
11.35am BST
8th over: Pakistan 17-0 (Hafeez 13, Masood 3) Ball has a strangled LBW shout against Masood, not dissimilar to the one in his first over. This time it was missing off. His opening partner Mohammad Hafeez has a terrific record against England and will be an important wicket in this series as he is very good at batting time.
11.30am BST
7th over: Pakistan 15-0 (Hafeez 12, Masood 3) Hafeez is dropped by Vince at third slip! He was tempted into the drive by a full delivery from Broad, bowled from wider on the crease, and edged it low to the left of Vince, who got down smartly but couldn’t hang on. It was a tough chance, although human nature is such that it will probably add to his worries after a disappointing maiden series. Broad has been excellent and has figures of 4-2-3-0.
I love getting ID'd for a plastic set of cutlery and then not having my ID, so they refused to serve me ! What is the world coming to #Mad
11.26am BST
6th over: Pakistan 14-0 (Hafeez 11, Masood 3) A good over from Ball, just one run from it. With every passing delivery, this looks a good toss to win. The variety of Pakistan’s bowling means they will be a real threat, even on this flat pitch, if they get a big score. That said, reverse swing may be hard to find because of the recent weather and the lush outfield.
11.22am BST
5th over: Pakistan 13-0 (Hafeez 10, Masood 3) Another maiden from Broad this time to Masood. There hasn’t been much movement off the pitch or in the air. Pakistan are constructing their innings in the old-fashioned manner: ignore as much as possible, defend the good balls and attack the bad ones.
“Is that ‘marmot-in-the-bath-test’ an early morning reference to The Big Lebowski?” says Donald. “God, I could murder a White Russian right now.” The value of capital letters, right there. Although not as memorable as the demonstration of the comma in the 22nd over of this OBO.
11.17am BST
4th over: Pakistan 13-0 (Hafeez 10, Masood 3) Masood drives Ball pleasantly through mid-on for a couple to get off the mark, and then Hafeez flicks nicely through midwicket for the first boundary. That was too straight from Ball, and his last ball is too wide - a nervous low full toss that is clunked through point for another boundary.
11.13am BST
3rd over: Pakistan 2-0 (Hafeez 2, Masood 0) That delivery in Broad’s first over was closer than close to Hafeez’s off stump, closer than you ever can imagine. As Beefy says on Sky, it’s a surprise the draught didn’t dislodge the bails. This is a good start from England, purposeful and with the requisite intensity. It’s going to be a fascinating game; for all the relative flatness of Lord’s pitches, they usually provide a result.
“Funny how age befuddles the mind,” says Dave Brown, laughing at something or other, he can’t remember what. “I thought Emburey and Edmonds were awesome when I was a kid but with bowling averages of 38 and 34 respectively I guess they weren’t the fearsome spin duo I once thought.” It was the eighties; those were decent averages for spinners. The other thing, and I know it’s cheating a bit, but Embers’ average was a lot better until his last few years when he was past it.
11.09am BST
2nd over: Pakistan 0-0 (Hafeez 0, Masood 0) Ball’s first over is a promising maiden. His pace was in the high 80s, with accuracy and good bounce. A lot of good judges are very excited about him.
“Since when, says Rob Sim, “did Bruce French (who presented Jake Ball with his cap earlier) morph into Leo Sayer?” They’ve just added that filter to Statsguru actually; let me check.
11.07am BST
This looks really close. The only thing is whether it pitched in line to the left-handed Masood. Yes, it did - it pitched well outside. I think Cook knew that, and had it not been a debutant in his first over I don’t think he would have reviewed it.
11.05am BST
Jake Ball is taking the new ball. I’m surprised but glad to see that. As Bumble might say, get ‘im in the game. And he has a huge LBW shout second ball against Masood! It’s turned down but Cook has reluctantly gone for the review.
11.03am BST
1st over: Pakistan 0-0 (Hafeez 0, Masood 0) It really is a gorgeous day at Lord’s. In the absence of Jimmy Anderson, Stuart Broad will bowl the first over. I assume he’ll share it with Chris Woakes, though you could make a case for Finn and Ball as well.
Broad’s fourth delivery is a gorgeous off-cutter that goes between Hafeez’s bat and pad and misses off stump by this much. His last ball beats the outside edge, and that’s a good start. The grass on the pitch should encourage England for the morning session at least. The yakka will harden quickly after that.
10.55am BST
“Re your intro about elderly cricketers,” begins Phil Sawyer, “I would contend that John Emburey could be pretty much considered a non-spinner as well.” Arf. That was an extraordinary selection. I do think Embers is a bit underrated, but by that stage he was 42 and possibly the first specialist maiden bowler.
10.36am BST
Gary Naylor considers ... Misbah-ul-Haq
“Misbah?” writes Gary. “The only man in the ground with a resting heartbeat lower than his age.”
10.34am BST
Jake Ball makes his debut for England after an exceptional 18 months. Alastair Cook effectively confirms that he wanted Jimmy Anderson in the squad and was overruled. Pakistan have picked three left-arm quicks, with Rahat Ali edging out Imran Khan.
England Cook (capt), Hales, Root, Vince, Ballance, Bairstow (wk), Ali, Woakes, Broad, Ball, Finn.
10.31am BST
It was a pretty easy decision for Misbah, who looks even cooler than usual with a rich beard. He is a wonderful character, the Dude of international cricket. Alastair Cook says he would have batted, although there is a green tinge to the pitch.
10.28am BST
Lord’s + sunshine = batting day. This looks like a good toss to win.
10.22am BST
Mohammad Amir was pretty good then, and he looks pretty good now. I cannot wait to see him bowl.
11.44am BST
The future of Test cricket is dependent on giving context to bilateral series. If only they were all like England v Pakistan. You want context? How about 60 years of enmity, a genius returning to Test cricket after a six-year ban, and a rivalry that is incapable of dullness.
It doesn’t even need to be especially competitive to be exhilarating. In the last five series, going back to 2005-06, the away team has won only one Test out of 15, yet the series have been much closer than scores of 2-0, 3-0, 3-1, 3-0 and 2-0 would suggest. And there have been so many extraordinary moments in that time.
Related: Mohammad Amir’s return adds edge as Pakistan take on England | Mike Selvey
Related: England captain and coach overruled on Jimmy Anderson’s fitness for Test
Continue reading...July 10, 2016
Portugal 1-0 France: Euro 2016 final – as it happened
The substitute Éder won the European Championship for Portugal with a brilliant goal after Cristiano Ronaldo went off injured in the first half
Portugal 1-0 France: Daniel Taylor’s match reportBarney Ronay: France’s knotted midfield behind failureDavid Hytner: Ronaldo’s tears of sadness turn to joy8.09am BST
Podcast
Related: Portugal are champions of Europe – Euro 2016 Football Daily
Related: France’s knotted midfield left them bound for failure in Euro 2016 final | Barney Ronay
Related: Cristiano Ronaldo’s tears of sadness turn to joy on Portugal’s greatest night
Related: ‘We were simple as doves, wise as serpents’: Portugal toast Euro 2016 win
Related: Portugal 1-0 France: five talking points from the Euro 2016 final
Related: Portugal 1-0 France: Euro 2016 final player ratings
10.51pm BST
Here’s Daniel Taylor’s match report on an unforgettable night
Related: Portugal beat France to win Euro 2016 final with Éder’s extra-time goal
10.50pm BST
Ronaldo limps and winces up the steps with his team-mates. For the first time in a while he is wearing the broadest smile. After a few selfies and a lot of jumping around, Ronaldo lifts the trophy, screams with delight and starts kissing it. He looks like he cannot believe this has happened. The worst moment of his career has turned into the greatest.
if you want to visit the country of the european champions visit PORTUGAL!!!!!!!!
10.42pm BST
It’s funny how football works (2). Without Iceland’s injury-time goal against Austria, Portugal would not be European champions.
10.41pm BST
It’s funny how football works. In the last 20 years, Portugal have had teams with far more attacking intent and flair, and they won bugger all. This team will forever be the first Portugal side to win a major tournament.
10.39pm BST
France started so well, but weirdly the Ronaldo injury seemed to interrupt their flow. Sissoko and the substitute Coman were brilliant going forward; the rest, not so much. This game will haunt them for a long while.
10.36pm BST
I don’t know where to start. This is a sensory overload of emotion. Portugal are European champions, despite losing Ronaldo after 25 minutes, despite winning one match in 90 minutes, despite looking like they could lose 4-0 in the first 10 minutes.
France are shattered, with Coman in tears as well. I’ve never known so many tears in a football match. So many people were immense for Portugal: Pepe, Nani, Rui Patricio, Ronaldo, Carvalho, Pepe, Pepe. Pepe.
10.33pm BST
Ronaldo collapses in tears for the 18th time tonight! Portugal are going absolutely wild! There are tears everywhere, Ronaldo is on his back. This is a glorious triumph of the human spirit. Where do you start? Pepe, who was utterly magnificent, has just been sick on the pitch.
10.32pm BST
What an astonishing story! Twelve years after their heartbreak against Greece, they have beaten the hosts 1-0 in the final!
10.30pm BST
120+1 min There are two minutes of added time, and Eder wins a free-kick. He has been brilliant.
10.29pm BST
120 min Joao Mario so nearly breaks through on goal, but Sagna makes a crucial last-man tackle. The move was sparked again by Nani, who has been magnificent since moving to the right wing.
10.28pm BST
119 min Quaresma is now playing at left back!
10.28pm BST
117 min Guerreiro has cramp, or some other injury, which leads to a break in play. He is being helped off the field, and they have used all three subs. I’m sure he’ll come back on even if it’s just to stand around and get in the way. Ronaldo is going mad on the touchline, trying to get Guerreiro back on the pitch.
10.26pm BST
116 min A great run from Nani, who has had a terrific game, ends with a low cross that is very well cleared by Sagna.
10.25pm BST
116 min Martial tries to run Cedric, who defends splendidly. Portugal are four minutes away from immortality.
10.24pm BST
114 min Pogba is booked for shoving over the breaking Joao Mario. Mark Clattenburg is inexorably homing in on Howard Webb’s record number of yellow cards at the 2010 World Cup final.
10.23pm BST
113 min Pepe takes no chances and heads behind for a corner. He has been immense. Griezmann’s corner is cleared to Joao Mario. He finds Quaresma, who has a fairly simple first-time ball to put Nani through on goal – and overhits it! Oh my goodness, what a chance that was.
10.22pm BST
112 min Another superb claim from Rui Patricio after a good left-wing cross from Evra.
10.20pm BST
110 min Ronaldo is in tears again! Martial is on for Sissoko, France’s last change. Martial has a look of total contempt on his face at the tardiness of his introduction.
10.19pm BST
This is a sensational finish! Eder has been excellent as a substitute and now he’s scored. He received the ball with his back to goal on the left, with Koscielny tight against him. He held him off, galumphed infield and then, from 25 yards, smashed a fierce low shot that beat the diving Lloris to his right.
10.18pm BST
What a goal from the substitute Eder!!!
10.18pm BST
It was a brilliant free-kick, clipped over the wall with his left foot. Lloris flew to his right and it clattered off the underside of the bar.
10.17pm BST
108 min Koscielny is booked for handball just outside the France box. It actually hit Eder’s hand. This could be a deluxe Joe Jordan moment, because the free-kick is 25 yards from goal.
10.16pm BST
107 min “Mind wandering a bit now Rob,” says Charles Antaki. “If it’s penalties, what price Ronaldo shaving his head, mingling with the players, and coming on as Pepe to take the winning kick?”
10.16pm BST
106 min Moutinho goes down after a high foot from Matuidi, who has been booked. Portugal want Matuidi sent off but I’m not sure he actually touched Moutinho. Either way, Mark Clattenburg gives just a free-kick.
10.13pm BST
Ronaldo is going round encouraging the Portugal team, particularly Quaresma. I’m really surprised Martial hasn’t come on.
10.12pm BST
104 min A corner to Portugal on the right, to be taken by Quaresma. It’s a good utswinger that is headed towards goal by Eder, and as it kicks up Lloris is able to pat it away. It almost came for another Portugal playing following up, but a France player booted it clear. No, I’ve no idea who either of them were. It’s been a long tournament and I’ve got RSI in my left hand. You’re welcome!
10.09pm BST
102 min Sissoko overhits a cross from the right. Gignac chases doggedly after that, and then miscontrols it for a goal-kick.
10.08pm BST
101 min Pogba wins a corner on the right. France have a bit of momentum for the first time in a while. Griezmann will take the corner ... but it’s too deep and goes out for a throw-in. I’m really surprised Martial hasn’t come on.
10.06pm BST
99 min William Carvalho takes a booking for the cause, chopping Coman down after another superb run. Coman, Sissoko and Pepe have had great games.
10.04pm BST
98 min Matuidi is booked for a foul on Eder, who landed badly. Matuidi didn’t do much wrong but the landing made it look worse.
10.03pm BST
96 min “Is Carvalho the next Makelele?” asks Dileep Premachandran. “What a wonderfully assured display from one so young.”
10.02pm BST
95 min Guerreiro is booked for pulling back Sissoko.
10.02pm BST
90+4 min Eder has held the ball up well since coming on, and wins a free-kick after a foul by Umtiti. It’s 35 yards out, to the right of centre; Quaresma curls it towards Pepe, who flashes a header just wide. He’d been flagged offside so it wouldn’t have counted, though that wasn’t clear at the time and on TV it looked like it was going to ripple the far corner of the net.
10.01pm BST
93 min Nothing is happening. Portugal should theoretically be more tired, as this is their third period of extra-time. If France lose this on penalties, they will forever regret their lack of urgency.
10.00pm BST
92 min “My first finals were Mexico 86,” writes James Debens. “Nothing will ever beat the very Ulysses 31-sounding Rick Wakeman-soundtrack of “Hero”, the documentary of it voiced by Sir Michael Caine. Synth.” The bit where Francescoli is roughed up by the Danish defenders is literally the most dramatic audio I have ever heard, ever, and I listen to the Archers.
9.57pm BST
91 min France begin extra-time, kicking from right to left. Despite their best efforts, one of these sides will be European Champions in the next hour.
9.52pm BST
It’s extra-time, and I need a convenience break. See you in a few minutes!
9.51pm BST
He’s done a Rensenbrink! It was a brilliant piece of play from the substitute Gignac. He received a low cross from Evra at the near post, on the six-yard line, and turned ingeniously away from Pepe – not once but twice – before scuffing his shot past Patricio and onto the inside of the near post.
9.49pm BST
90+1 min There will be three added minutes, and in the first of those Koscielny makes an excellent and vital tackle to stop Nani’s marauding run.
9.48pm BST
90 min A gorgeous cross from Sagna on the right just escapes the sliding Gignac and is calmly claimed by Rui Patricio.
9.47pm BST
88 min “Pogba doesn’t half vanish out of games for extended periods doesn’t he?” says Hubert O’Hearn. “Guy Mowbray mentioned his name and I had completely forgotten he was on the pitch.” Generation YouTube innit. That said, he’s only 23.
9.45pm BST
87 min Nani has looked more dangerous since moving to the right. It’s almost as if that’s his best position! He comes infield away from Evra tries to play a one-two with Eder, but Matuidi tracks him all the way and clears.
9.43pm BST
84 min Another save from Rui Patricio! Sissoko galumphed forward to within 25 yards before hitting a fierce shot across goal that was palmed away by Rui Patricio as he dived to his right. It was a dramatic save but pretty comfortable for a keeper of his apparently considerable quality.
9.42pm BST
84 min “Just got back after failing to get into the Paris Fan Zone,” says Robert Wilson. “I’m sorry to say that it kicked off pretty bigtime outside (and was still going when I scarpered). A good few broke through barriers. Cops attacked, teargas, charges and quite a few grey-haired American tourists festively thumped. I’m officially done with football. Wouldn’t happen at the cricket.” In 2016, it probably would. We all live in a Biff Tannen world.
9.41pm BST
83 min I still think France will win this. But you can tell they, and particularly the crowd, have stared to think the unthinkable.
9.40pm BST
82 min After a neat move from Portugal, Nani rakes a rising drive over the bar from 25 yards with his left foot.
9.39pm BST
81 min With Eder on, Nani is now playing on the right wing in the same 4-1-4-1 formation as before.
9.39pm BST
80 min Nani’s mishit cross almost sneaks in! Lloris had to backpedal to flap it away, and was in position to catch Quaresma’s scissor-kick on the follow-up. Then Umtiti is booked for something or other. This game has been terrific in the last 10 minutes.
9.37pm BST
Surely no-one can steal the limelight in Cristiano's moment of need. Oh...
(via @Jimmy_smallwood)#CelebrityRefshttps://t.co/khuNJ3tt2A
9.36pm BST
78 min A substitution for both sides: Andre-Pierre Gignac replaces Giroud, and Eder comes on for Renato Sanches. That’s their final substitution.
9.36pm BST
77 min Guerreiro breaks down the left and ushers the sliding Sissoko to the wrong fire, but then his cross is headed away. At the other end, after another burst from the brilliant Coman, Griezmann takes the ball off Giroud’s foot in the area! This game is in serious danger of becoming exciting.
9.34pm BST
75 min Another terrific save from Rui Patricio denies Giroud! It was created by the superb Coman, who played a cute little pass into the box for Giroud, who cracked an excellent left-footed shot towards the far bottom corner that was palmed away by the plunging Rui Patricio.
9.33pm BST
74 min “You could make the case for the last Euro final being a classic, I suppose, the first half at least,” says Phil Podolsky. “A peak display by one of the all time greatest national teams that made it a one-sided affair despite Italy’s excellence, capped off by two low-key astonishing goals. Followed by 45 minutes of garbage time, so bad that Torres got to be involved in both tap-ins.”
Yeah I know what you mean; it was the signature performance of one of the great sides. But I think most people would only consider close contests as classic finals.
9.31pm BST
73 min Coman has grabbed this game by the scruff of the balls. He plays a one-two with Giroud and surges into the area, but there is nobody there to meet his cross.
9.30pm BST
72 min Portugal’s attacking has been hopeless. I can only see them winning this on penalties.
9.29pm BST
71 min A precis of the excitement in the last five minutes:
9.27pm BST
First time Stade de France. Stadium wifi one of best I've used. Love thinking about potential for sport + connected stadia over next decade.
9.25pm BST
67 min Portugal make their second substitution, with Joao Moutinho replacing Adrien Silva.
9.25pm BST
66 min What a miss from Griezmann! Pogba drilled a beautiful long pass to the substitute Coman on the left wing. He came infield and curled an inswinging cross that dipped over the head of a defender and found Griezmann six yards out. Somehow, and I have no idea how, he headed it wide. What a chance!
9.24pm BST
65 min “Did a quick tally, Rob,” says Robert Wolf Petersen. “Of the 26 teams to contest a World Cup final before 1990, not one failed to score. Since then, 7 of the 14 teams to have contested WC finals have drawn a blank. I’d do something similar for European Championship finals, given that this is one, but there’s not such a pronounced trend.” Such honesty will get you nowhere in the world of statistics.
9.23pm BST
63 min See 52 minutes. The pattern is exactly the same as it was then. France, really, have been poor tonight, though the Ronaldo injury did seem to distract them a fair bit.
9.21pm BST
62 min Joao Mario is rightly booked by English referee Mark Clattenburg for a cynical trip on Giroud. There’s very little happening in a creative sense, though Evra has just won a corner for France.
9.20pm BST
60 min Thanks to Gary Naylor for this, which shows the extent of the injury that Ronaldo tried to overcome for 15 minutes. In a weird way, this injury might have a positive influence on how he’s remembered. Who knows.
Ouch... pic.twitter.com/z1YhYc8kUK
9.17pm BST
59 min A nice touch from Coman allows Griezmann to burst into the area on the left, but his low shot is comfortably held by Rui Patricio. Coman is playing on the left, such is Sissoko’s influence in the centre-right.
9.16pm BST
59 min A France substitution: Kingsley Coman replaces Dimitri Payet, who may have unwittingly won the final for France with his tackle on Ronaldo. Payet had a good tournament, albeit of diminishing returns.
9.16pm BST
58 min “This hasn’t been a classic, but it’s no 1994,” says Kari Tulinius. “My abiding memory of Brazil-Italy is having a growing suspicion that this is what death must feel like. I hope the game picks up!”
I think this is worse, and not only because 1994 had Barry Davies and Baresi. The decline in tournament finals from 1990 onwards is staggering.
9.15pm BST
56 min Joao Mario’s fast, flat cross from the left is headed behind by Umtiti on the six-yard line. The corner is taken by Quaresma, and Evra heads away.
9.13pm BST
55 min The game is delayed when somebody runs onto the field before being caught by security. Give it up, Cristiano, etc, etc.
9.12pm BST
54 min A bouncing ball comes to Pogba, who wallops it over from 30 yards. “I would like to apologise to Steve Pine on behalf of Germany for showing football on German public television, not British pay TV,” says Fred Muehl. “I agree it’s pretty ignorant and provincial wanting to watch football in our own language.” Typical German arrogance.
9.11pm BST
53 min This is an excellent spell for France, who win a corner after another clearance from Pepe. Rui Patricio comes a long way to take it off a French head and grabs it at the second attempt.
9.10pm BST
52 min Portugal are doing well defensively but it’s very hard to see them scoring, which in some cultures might be considered problematic for those hoping to win a football match.
9.09pm BST
51 min Payet beats two players just outside the box before Pepe makes a wonderful interception. He’s had an outstanding game.
9.07pm BST
50 min The first major tournament final I watched was in the 1986 World Cup. When it comes to finals, I’m getting the feeling that I came in at the end. The best is over.
9.07pm BST
49 min Sissoko is fortunate not to be booked for a foul on Pepe.
9.05pm BST
48 min “They say confession is good for the soul, so I must admit that I was briefly happy when Ronaldo went down,” says Scott Martin. “I have never liked him. But he is a human, and an absolutely brilliant footballer. For him to miss this match because of injury? Really? What kind of a** could possibly want that?” About 80 per cent of humanity, I suspect.
9.05pm BST
47 min “Rob,” says Adam Becker, “we’re still waiting for you to settle the debate about Payet’s non-foul on Ronaldo. Even if it was a foul, it was never a red card, as someone said before.”
Possibly a foul, no way it was a red card. There, that’s settled!
9.03pm BST
46 min Peep peep! France begin the second half, kicking from left to right. At some stage in the next hour or two, somebody is going to score a European Championship-winning goal, and it’ll change their life forever.
8.59pm BST
“Steve Pine’s Sky box bug,” says Damien Clarke, “is probably a moth.”
8.58pm BST
“I’m reminded of the ‘91 FA Cup final when Gascoigne - at the height of his powers - crocked his knee early doors, seemingly handing the day to Forest, but for Spurs to win out,” says Sean O. “It’s never over.” Good point, that. Spurs were 1-0 down as well by the time Gascoigne was subbed. Spurs were exceptional in that game and should have won it before extra-time; Portugal won’t be able to dominate like that but they could nick it.
8.56pm BST
The ITV panel - Dixon, Wright, Giggs, Keane - don’t think it was a foul by Payet.
8.54pm BST
“Every player is an athlete, every defence organised, every player committed to their job - but they’re just not good enough, technically nor imaginatively, to play exciting football,” says Gary Naylor. “Perhaps England’s best chance of winning a tournament in the future is the sense that other nations are regressing to an English style of play.”
8.53pm BST
Breaking news
“I’ve found it now,” writes Steve Pine (see the 26th minute), “but there’s definitely a bug in the Sky box I’ve got. Sorry Germany.”
8.49pm BST
A half dominated by Cristiano Ronaldo, and he wasn’t on the pitch for most of it. He was stretchered off with a knee injury after a tackle from Dimitri Payet. The game lost its way a little after that, but that was good for Portugal, who were hanging on desperately in the first 10-15 minutes. See you soon for the second half.
8.48pm BST
45+2 min In the last seconds of added time, Joao Mario’s inswinging cross towards Nani skims a few yards wide of the far post.
8.46pm BST
45 min “There’s no chance Payet took out Ronaldo on purpose,” says Hubert O’Hearn. “Even if there was an NFL-style ‘bounty’ on him, no sane team would ever make their best creator the hit man. Uh uh. No conspiracy here.”
Agreed. He probably wanted to leave a bit on him but there’s no way he would have tried to put him out of the game. I’ll be interested to see it again though because the emails are about 50/50 on whether it was a foul or not.
8.45pm BST
43 min This is Portugal’s best spell of the match. France have lost their way a little after that fantastic start. The camera cuts to Luis Figo and catches him in the middle of an extended yawn.
8.42pm BST
41 min Payet’s shot is superbly blocked by Pepe, who heads away Sagna’s follow-up cross to launch a Portugal break. Joao Mario gets away from Pogba on the left before Matuidi gets back to concede a corner. As Glenn Hoddle says on ITV, the tactical change has helped Portugal.
8.41pm BST
39 min Sissoko looks like he’s had an intravenous injection of Carpe Diem before the match. He has been sensational, consistently vrooming through the centre of the pitch in the Portugal half.
8.40pm BST
37 min Despite everything, including themselves, Portugal are in this final. France have threatened through Sissoko in particular, but Portugal are having some promising attacks of their own. On one such break, Nani does very well to find Adrien Silva just inside the box. He gets caught in 48 minds and does nothing, but Portugal eventually win a corner. Now the substitute Quaresma is injured, after a tackle by Umtiti. That doesn’t look good either. From the corner, Fonte gets above Koscielny near the penalty spot but can’t control his header and it goes high over the bar.
8.37pm BST
35 min “CR7 has the will of Keyser Soze, but he can’t lose the limp at the end,” says Matt Dony. “ I’m genuinely heartbroken for him. I really like Ronaldo, I have no problem with his on-field cockiness, because it’s backed up by supreme talent and a ridiculous amount of hard work. He’s a magnificent, too-often-maligned footballer, and deserves better than this in a game of this magnitude.” It’s fascinating how often sport is downright sadistic towards its greats. There are very few happy endings, unless you’re Shane Warne and Glenn McGrath.
8.36pm BST
34 min Sissoko beats Adrien Silva with a deluxe nutmeg – flicking behind his own standing leg and through Adrien’s – before battering a snapshot that is beaten away by Rui Patricio. Good save. Cedric is then booked for a knee in the back of Payet. Sissoko has been outstanding so far.
8.34pm BST
33 min “Hi Rob,” says Jan Laznik, “is it too cynical of me to think Ronaldo was deliberately taken out of this match?”
8.33pm BST
32 min France are still the better team, though Portugal are under less pressure and Rui Patricio has had little to do since the Griezmann header in the 10th minute. The game is still in a kind of post-Ronaldo limbo.
8.31pm BST
30 min The game has been very bitty since Ronaldo first went down in the eighth minute. But Sissoko enlivens things with another devastating run before his cross is deflected behind for a corner.
8.30pm BST
29 min “Of course the game is shown on German TV,” says Hauke Wemken, ruining a good story with cold, hard facts.
8.29pm BST
28 min “Payet getting the ball doesn’t make it fair or legal to use the follow-through to knee Ronaldo in the knee while another French player sandwiches him in,” says Miguel Lobo. “That was a red card, and this is a shame to the game. It would never had gone unpunished on, say, Zidane. From this point on, if France win it will be dirty and forever tainted.”
No it doesn’t, you’re right, but at first look I didn’t think there was anything malicious in the follow-through. I’d need to see it again. And we’ll be seeing it again all right.
8.28pm BST
27 min Portugal have moved to a 4-1-4-1 now, with Nani up front on his own. That’s fair enough as they were being overrun in midfield.
8.27pm BST
26 min “The game is not being shown live on TV here in Germany,” says Steve Pine. “Can you believe that? I’m watching on the internet. It’s as if they’ve lost all interest.”
Are you serious? That’s gloriously petty if so.
8.25pm BST
24 min Ronaldo throws his armband to the floor in anger. He needs a stretcher to be helped off, and is in tears again as he hands the armband to Nani before being helped onto a stretcher. This is one of the saddest things I’ve ever seen on a football field. He’s applauded off by both sets of fans, and Didier Deschamps comes over to wish him well as he is taken down the tunnel. Ricardo Quaresma replaces him.
8.24pm BST
23 min Ronaldo can barely run. He still manages to hobble towards a left-wing cross that is headed clear by Umtiti, and Joao Mario volleys well wide from 20 yards.
8.23pm BST
22 min The stop-start nature of Ronaldo injury unwittingly stalled France’s momentum, but they are back on top now. Sissoko goes on a storming run through the centre of the pitch before hitting a fierce left-footed shot that is deflected just over the bar.
8.22pm BST
21 min Ronaldo jogs back on, his knee heavily strapped. I’m not sure he’s going to last long. He has the will of Keyser Soze but I’m not sure there’s much he can do if his knee has gone.
8.20pm BST
20 min Portugal are playing with 10 men for now, and having their best spell of possession in the match.
8.19pm BST
18 min Ronaldo is able to walk off, so they are going to try to strap his thigh and knee. But if it’s his knee, he surely has no chance. It’s not as serious of course, but there are weird echoes of the other Ronaldo in 1998.
8.18pm BST
17 min Ronaldo’s in tears; he must know his final is over. Oh man, sport can be stunningly cruel sometimes. It was a fair tackle from Payet, who caught him with his follow through.
8.17pm BST
16 min Ronaldo is still struggling after that tackle from Payet. Renato Sanches miscontrols a simple pass into touch. This has been an awful start for them. But it’s still 0-0.
8.15pm BST
15 min France are harassing and bullying Portugal in possession, and it’s almost painfully one-sided at the moment.
8.14pm BST
13 min “Evening Rob,” says Simon McMahon. “I think Matt Dony will find that Scotland wrote the book on magnanimity. Softening up Germany during the qualifiers, then letting France thrash us in a warm-up game just before the tournament proper means that it’s Scotland who will be crowned European champions whatever happens in Paris tonight. And after what happened at Wimbledon earlier, Scotland will then rule the sporting world. Right?” It’s a yes from me.
8.13pm BST
12 min There are still plenty of moths but they haven’t affected the game at all. Portugal are being battered at the moment. They just need to keep this at 0-0 for as long as possible, 120 minutes ideally.
8.12pm BST
10 min That’s a fine save from Rui Patricio! Pepe slipped over and gave the ball to Payet on the left wing. He played a delicious angled pass over the defence to find Griezmann, who improvised a first-time lobbed header from just inside the box. It was a brilliant effort, and would have looped in but for a crucial leaping save from Rui Patricio. From the resulting corner he made a more comfortable save from Giroud’s header.
8.09pm BST
8 min Payet puts in a strong challenge on Ronaldo near the halfway line, taking man and ball. Ronaldo looks in quite a lot of pain and is being treated, and booed.
8.08pm BST
7 min A chance for Griezmann, who screws a half-volley wide of the near post from a tightish angle on the left side of the box. If Portugal aren’t careful this could be over in 20 minutes. France are all over them.
8.06pm BST
6 min Fonte’s clearing header comes to Sissoko, who splatters a volley into orbit from 20 yards. That wasn’t a bad opportunity.
8.06pm BST
4 min Portugal almost score out of nothing. The right-back Cedric hammers a long pass over the top to Nani, who runs beyond Koscielny, takes the ball down on his chest and then, as it bounces up, larrups it over the bar from 15 yards.
8.04pm BST
4 min Ronaldo is being booed - but so are all the other Portugal players whenever they touch the ball. They look a little overwhelmed at the moment and need to get into the game quick smart.
8.03pm BST
3 min This is the fast start we expected. Carvalho follows Fonte by playing the ball straight into touch. Portugal are all over the place here.
8.02pm BST
2 min “Those moths will suit Ronaldo down to a tee tonight,” says Justin Kavanagh. “He won’t even have to tear off his shirt when he strokes home the winning penalty after 120 minutes of having it eaten by insects. In years to come it’ll be known as the Shroud of Paris in the Him Museum in Madeira.”
8.01pm BST
1 min Peep peep! Mark Clattenburg moistens his whistle to signal the commencement of proceedings. Portugal, in red, kick off from left to right; France are in blue. After 13 seconds, Fonte plays a careful, loving crossfield pass straight into touch. That was nervy.
7.57pm BST
Here come the players! It’s almost time for business, and it appears the moths have gone away.
“I’m nothing if not magnanimous,” says Matt Dony, our Wales correspondent. “Although it would be a lovely story for France to win after Paris, I really want Portugal to do it. They’ve had so many great players (and Nuno Gomes), and right now they have the best player. They deserve some success, and He deserves an international medal. Also, should Portugal win, then there’s nothing to say that Wales couldn’t have won, so I’ll be claiming second place.”
7.26pm BST
“That 1984 game really was a corker wasn’t it?” says Hubert O’Hearn. “The one hope this one has of matching it is if France score early. Please let France score early! Portugal have played some absolute Novocaine specials this tournament.” And not for the soul.
7.25pm BST
There is no suggestion of a delayed kick-off, but I’m not sure how easy it would be to play the most important game of your life with a load of moths in your face. Imagine if Olivier Giroud rumbles through on goal and cocks his left foot, only for a moth to fly into his gaping maw a split-second before he makes contact.
7.17pm BST
Portugal’s plan is simple: resist the inevitable fast start, keep the game tight and wait for the home crowd to get nervous. In other words, exactly what Greece did to them in the final of 2004.
6.59pm BST
Some pre-match reading
Related: France’s surge to Euro 2016 final gives healing country a reason to smile
Related: Didier Deschamps: the water carrier who holds France in his trusted hands
Related: Portugal and Santos owe debt of thanks to no-nonsense English manager
Related: Cristiano Ronaldo is like The Revenant: self-belief that just won’t die | Rob Smyth
6.59pm BST
“Evening Rob, and thanks for sharing that corker from 1984,” says Guy Hornsby. “That was, in many ways, Peak Motson for me: grainy footage, legendary France team, incredible game, screaming himself hoarse in a way he won’t likely mind, all these years later. This France team could write themselves into history just as much as that XI, both in terms of the fairytale, patchwork background of many of its squad in lower leagues, and the backstory of the terrible recent months in its country’s capital. They’re the heart and head choice for glory, but after this tournament, what do we know any more? It’s anyone’s on the night, and surely Ronaldo’s last proper chance. He’ll be 35 in 2020.”
If Ronaldo wins this tournament, he owes Iceland a whole heapa love. It was their breakaway goal against Austria that put Portugal in the easy half of the draw. There’s surely no way they would have beaten England, France and Germany to reach the final.
6.59pm BST
Related: L’Oignon Bag – the Euro 2016 awards: best player, best gaffe, and Will.i.am
6.59pm BST
They left the lights on at the Stade de France overnight ... with hilarious consequences
There is an infestation of moths at the Stade de France. Clattenburg & team swatting away as they tested the goal line technology.
6.58pm BST
Many people will assume this final is all about one star man, but Mark Clattenburg is just a part of the story
6.48pm BST
An email “Real Madrid waltzed to the final of the Champions League with the easiest run in a decade - Roma, Wolfsburg, a deplorable City in the semifinals - and won the final on penalties, Ronaldo converting the winner after doing nothing much for 120 minutes,” says Chad Noyes. “Portugal have waltzed to this final with the easiest run in a decade - Croatia, Poland, a depleted Wales - and will win the final on penalties, Ronaldo converting the winner after doing nothing much for 120 minutes. How else could it be?
6.45pm BST
No surprises with either XI. France are unchanged; Portugal bring in Pepe and William Carvalho, who missed the semi-final through injury and suspension, for Bruno Alves and Danilo.
France (4-2-3-1) Lloris; Sagna, Koscielny, Umtiti, Evra; Pogba, Matuidi; Sissoko, Griezmann, Payet; Giroud.
Substitutes: Jallet, Rami, Kante, Cabaye, Gignac, Martial, Schneiderlin, Mangal, Mandanda, Digne, Coman, Costil.
6.29pm BST
This summer’s must-have accessory
What every player dreams of wearing. #PORFRA #EURO2016 pic.twitter.com/hJj4ANxS9E
6.20pm BST
If France win, they will join Germany and Spain on three European Championships. If Portugal win, they will join the Soviet Union, Italy, Czechoslovakia, the Netherlands, Denmark and Greece on one. England, since you asked, have four Expected European Championship triumphs in 1968, 1988, 1996 and 2016, and no actual ones.
6.20pm BST
France have won their last 10 matches against Portugal, going back to the 1970s. That include three semi-finals at major tournaments: an undisputed classic in 1984, when John Motson lost it more than at any other stage in his career; an excellent and controversial game in 2000; and 90 minutes of our life that we’ll never get back in 2006.
6.18pm BST
Pretty good, thanks for asking.
Two hours to go! How are the nerves?#EURO2016 #PORFRA pic.twitter.com/By8hqoPUUJ
4.26pm BST
After 30 days, 50 matches, 107 goals and one Simone Zaza fitness DVD, we’ve reached the final of Euro 2016. It’s been an enjoyable tournament, mainly because of the smaller teams, but there have been few epic moments and no classic match. I wouldn’t bet your last Rolo on us seeing a great game tonight: in the last 30 years, finals of major tournaments have been football’s version of New Year’s Eve, with expectation in inverse proportion to excitement.
The winners will not care if they win on penalties after a 0-0 draw. Good performances are for the future and the past. France want to continue their amazing, almost unfathomable record as hosts; they were the last to win a World Cup, in 1998, and the last to win a European Championship, in 1984. Eight months on from the Paris attacks, their success at this tournament has demonstrated the unique healing power of sport.
Related: Patrice Evra: how France have united behind unlikely father figure
Continue reading...July 8, 2016
Cristiano Ronaldo is like The Revenant: self-belief that just won’t die | Rob Smyth
Love him or – as most seem to – loathe him, the Portugal primadonna’s claims to being the greatest player of his generation will be enhanced only if he leads them to unlikely Euro 2016 glory in Sunday’s final with France
In the autumn of 2002, when some unwise people suggested Sir Alex Ferguson was over the hill, the great Hugh McIlvanney sounded a note of caution. “The most crazily virulent of his denouncers have been telling him he is lucky to be holding on to his job,” wrote McIlvanney in the Sunday Times. “Maybe they should make sure he is properly buried before devoting themselves too gleefully to dancing on his grave. He could be a pretty awkward revenant.”
That last phrase has regularly sprung to mind in recent weeks, and not only because of the omnipresent DVD of Leonardo DiCaprio’s Oscar-winning portrayal of a Brian Kilcline lookalike. The main reason is that Cristiano Ronaldo has become the awkward revenant of Euro 2016. In the group stages, when he absurdly denounced Iceland’s “small mentality” and missed a penalty against Austria, his critics did a lot more to his grave than just dance on it.
Related: David Squires on … Portugal and France reaching the Euro 2016 final
Related: The Joy of Six: terrible football penalties
Continue reading...July 7, 2016
West Germany v France: World Cup semi-final 1982 – as it happened
Get in the mood for the Euro 2016 semi-final with this retro MBM report of the controversial epic between the sides in 1982, taken from the pages of And Gazza Misses The Final
Germany v France: Euro 2016 semi-final – live2.41pm BST
This retro report is from And Gazza Misses The Final, the story of the World Cup told in MBM. A heady mix of famous drama and forgotten whimsy, it’s worth every penny, partly because you can now get it for £0.01 on Amazon. Special editions on Manchester United and Liverpool are in the pipeline, pending the small matter of finding a publisher.
2.41pm BST
Hrubesch scores! He rolls the ball to his right as Ettori dances the other way, again not diving. Stielike, with his top off, hugs Schumacher for dear life. Not only has the Real Madrid man avoided ignominy, he will play in a World Cup final on his home ground on Sunday. Don’t expect too much home support, mind, Uli, your lads have possibly gone past the point where they can salvage this particular charm offensive.
2.38pm BST
BOSSIS MISSES! West Germany 4–4 France West Germany are one kick away from the final! Schumacher has saved from Bossis! He sidefooted it low to the left, but Schumacher went the right way and made an excellent save. Schumacher definitely moved before the ball was kicked, although Ettori has been up to that as well. Schumacher raises his right arm in triumph, heroics that stick slightly in the craw.
2.36pm BST
RUMMENIGGE SCORES! West Germany 4–4 France Rummenigge scores easily, placing the ball in the bottom-right corner. And again Ettori did not dive. This really is a bizarre approach to saving penalties. So now we go to sudden death. Schumacher, waiting for the next French penalty taker, is talking to the referee Corver. Corver says something and Schumacher chuckles before moving back to his goal. The Battiston family, watching on TV, must love that scene.
2.35pm BST
PLATINI SCORES! West Germany 3–4 France Platini scored a penalty in normal time and he scores again, going the other way this time with a calm sidefoot to the right. Schumacher went the wrong way. Rummenigge has to score or France will be in the final.
2.34pm BST
LITTBARSKI SCORES! West Germany 3–3 France Littbarski, the youngster, scores with a brilliant penalty, sidefooted high into the top-right corner. Ettori came out and started to move the right way but again he didn’t dive.
2.34pm BST
SIX MISSES! West Germany 2–3 France Schumacher has saved from Six! The TV cameraman missed it; he was focusing on Littbarski hugging Stielike, when suddenly Littbarski jumped around in excitement. The camera cut to the goal, where Schumacher was picking the ball up after saving from Six! No joy for Six, who collapses to his knees! We still don’t know what happened, except that Schumacher dived to his right and saved.
2.32pm BST
STIELIKE MISSES! West Germany 2–3 France This time Ettori not only dives, he goes the right way and saves it! It was not a great penalty from Stielike, sidefooted at breast height to his left but nowhere near the corner. Ettori – who moved illegally off his line before the kick was taken – beat the shot away. Stielike’s hands are glued to his face.
2.32pm BST
ROCHETEAU SCORES! West Germany 2–3 France Only Giresse’s penalty has been anywhere near the corner, but the keepers keep diving the wrong way. Rocheteau sidefoots to his right to put France ahead.
2.31pm BST
BREITNER SCORES! West Germany 2–2 France Breitner scores with a nonchalant clip high into the net, with Ettori again not diving – just like Jan Jongbloed when Breitner scored in the final eight years ago.
2.30pm BST
AMOROS SCORES! West Germany 1–2 France For the third time the keeper goes the wrong way. Schumacher moved to his right, Amoros placed it high to his right.
2.30pm BST
KALTZ SCORES! West Germany 1–1 France Ettori doesn’t even dive, dancing a few steps to his right before realizing Kaltz has sent him the wrong way with a low sidefoot.
2.29pm BST
GIRESSE SCORES! West Germany 0–1 France A confident penalty, sidefooted low to the left as Schumacher goes the other way.
2.25pm BST
That’s it! An awesome and controversial match comes to an end, and now we will have the first ever penalty shoot-out in the World Cup. The purists won’t be happy but it’s a damn sight better than drawing lots. The players look unbelievably tired as they take some water. And we’re off . . .
2.25pm BST
120 min West Germany win one last corner, Tigana has cramp and limps back to the box. Kaltz swings it deep, Fischer finds a bit of space ten yards out to head it towards goal and the heroic Trésor heads it clear with Hrubesch flying towards the ball just behind him. France break through Rocheteau and Six, who evades Breitner splendidly near the halfway line and plays it to the right for Tigana. He ignores his cramp for a few seconds, struggles to the edge of the box and then slashes well wide under pressure from Stielike.
2.23pm BST
118 min Tigana plays a tired pass inside the West Germany box and the Germans break. It’s fed to Rummenigge, who swaggers forward and clips a through-pass towards Fischer with the outside of the right foot. Trésor gets there first in the D and stabs it back towards Ettori – not knowing that Ettori had moved forward towards the ball himself. Thankfully for France it was close enough to Ettori that he could dive to his right and claim the ball. That would have been a crazy way to decide his match. The camera cuts to the bench, where the splendidly expressive coach Michel Hidalgo puffs out his cheeks in relief.
2.20pm BST
115 min Beautiful play from Littbarski, whose quick feet take the piss out of Amoros and Platini before his cross is claimed by Ettori. West Germany are playing with much the greater urgency. Maybe they don’t want this to go to a penalty shoot-out after the trauma of the Euro 76 final.
2.19pm BST
114 min Janvion, misjudging Schumacher’s long throw out, leaps to deliberately handle the ball and stop Fischer breaking in behind him. The referee allows play to go on and Fischer picks up the loose ball. He runs to within 25 yards of goal before cutting infield from the right, away from Janvion, and whistling a left-footed shot fractionally wide of the far post! The referee has given a goal-kick, although Fischer seems to think it should have been a corner. If Ettori did get something on that it was an outstanding save.
2.16pm BST
111 min Germany are all over France at the moment, the scent in their snout. Rummenigge, who has been majestic since coming on, sparks another attack by moving disdainfully past Lopez just inside the West Germany half. He flicks it to Dremmler, who moves it down the line to Rummenigge. He gives it back to Dremmler with a first-time backheel, and his cross towards Littbarski is splendidly headed away by Trésor.
2.13pm BST
Klaus Fischer equalizes with a wonderful overhead kick! What a goal! Rummenigge, 40 yards out, waved a square pass to Bernd Förster, who moved forward and found Littbarski in a bit of space on the left. As Bossis came to meet him he stood up an excellent cross beyond the far post, where Hrubesch leapt imperiously above Janvion. He was off-balance and unable to go for goal but managed to steer the ball back across the six-yard line. Fischer fell backwards, stretched a telescopic leg away from goal and steered an overhead kick just inside the post! That was the only place he could score because Ettori, along with Trésor and Amoros on the line, had everywhere else covered. Platini responds to the goal with a brief, magnificent tantrum, waving his hands over his shoulder with such fury that he almost knocks himself off his feet. Fischer is the world leader in overhead kicks, so much so that in West Germany they call him Herr Fallrückzieher, or Mr Falling Kick. His overhead kick against Switzerland was voted goal of the decade – but this is on a whole new level. What a goal and what a recovery. Germany had 21 minutes to score two goals; they needed only nine of them, and in that time they had a goal wrongly disallowed. This is an outrageous comeback even by their standards. They haven’t just come back from the dead; they’ve come back from a cremation!
2.11pm BST
106 min France start the second period of extra time – and Platini tries to score from the kick-off! It was touched off by Six and Platini’s attempt to outdo Pelé struck one of the advancing German players.
2.09pm BST
Are there any other directions in which this game can turn?
2.09pm BST
104 min How did that stay out? Rummenigge, who has grabbed this game by the scruff of the balls, played in Breitner on the right-hand side of the box. He could probably have gone for goal but instead whistled a cross all the way across the face. It’s not often you say it about Breitner, and you’d be loath to say it to his face, but he took the wrong option there. 105 min: Another cross flashes right across the France goal! This time it was Littbarski. He received Kaltz’s throw, rolled Amoros brilliantly to get into the area and then smashed it right across the face. There were two German players waiting in all sorts of space for a cutback. Rummenigge motions kicking the ball into the net, a nice idiot’s guide to what might have happened. Another player, Stielike, charges over to give Littbarski a spectacularly heartfelt bollocking. Littbarski’s cross was the last kick of a sensational first period of extra time.
2.08pm BST
Olé? Oh shit more like: West Germany are back in it! That France move broke down and within seconds Rummenigge scored at the other end. Stielike got away with showing his studs to Bossis on the halfway line and worked the ball neatly out to the left with Rummenigge and Littbarski. Littbarski, on the left of the box, curled a low ball towards the near post, where Rummenigge, under considerable pressure from Janvion, twisted his body ingeniously to flick it past the advancing Ettori inside the near post. That’s an expert finish indeed. The angle and height of the cross meant he had to lean backwards horizontally into Janvion, with both feet off the floor, and then, while twisting in mid-air, soften his right foot to ease the ball round the corner as Ettori spread himself.
2.05pm BST
100 min Littbarski takes off his shinpads and tosses them impatiently over the touchline. Seconds later Fischer has a goal disallowed for a non-existent offside! Dremmler’s cross from a narrow position was headed emphatically into the corner by Fischer, who ran off the back of Janvion and towered majestically near the penalty spot. Fischer was at least three yards onside when the pass was played. Rummenigge on the far side might just have been in an offside position, though I don’t think he was. West Germany seem hard done by there. 102 min: Platini almost makes it 4–1 with a fierce free-kick that goes through the wall and bounces up to hit Schumacher in the chest. There was nobody following in and Schumacher claimed it at the second attempt. France then put together a patient passing move, every pass met with an olé.
2.04pm BST
Alain Giresse has put France into Sunday’s final with Italy with another beautiful goal! We sometimes say that players have two right feet; well Giresse’s right foot has two insides, because he has been using the outside all night to great effect – but none greater than this. Rocheteau and Platini moved the ball across the face of the area, finding Six on the left. He teased Kaltz and then stabbed a gentle pass back to Giresse, lurking on the edge of the area. He stomped towards the ball and cut across a technically immaculate shot that swerved back and pinged in off the inside of the near post. Schumacher had not a solitary prayer.
2.02pm BST
97 min Desperate times call for obvious measures: Rummenigge replaces the surprisingly fatigable Briegel, who doesn’t drink Carling Black Label after all. It’s the last throw of Germany’s dice, although it’s quite a throw to have.
1.59pm BST
94 min Littbarski nearly equalizes straight away. Amoros, with a combination of weariness and maybe a little arrogance, ignored the option of a backpass to Ettori and tried to run the ball out of defence near the touchline on the left. Littbarski won the ball with an immaculate tackle, declined to go down in the area despite a tug on the shorts from Amoros and had his shot blocked by the sprawling Ettori, who had been completely out of position after running to the left edge of the area expecting a backpass from Amoros. Ettori had to dance back across goal with Littbarski and spread himself to save.
1.58pm BST
Or maybe not, because Trésor has given France the lead with a brilliant goal! Briegel was penalized, maybe a little harshly, for a foul on Platini just outside the area on the right wing. Giresse’s clipped free-kick hit the head of Dremmler in the wall and looped invitingly towards Trésor, in a bizarre amount of space near the penalty spot. He probably had time to bring the ball down but he had a far more effective option in mind: a screaming volley on the half-turn that scorched into the net! We knew France’s defenders could play but this is ridiculous: Bossis has been gallivanting around like a Beckenbauer tribute act, Amoros hit the bar from 30 yards and now Trésor has scored a stunning volley.
1.55pm BST
91 min West Germany begin extra time from left to right. We might be 30 minutes away from the World Cup’s first-ever penalty shoot-out.
1.49pm BST
A wonderful match will go to an extra half-hour, although goodness knows how: both sides could have won it in injury-time there.
1.48pm BST
90+3 min This is unbelievable! Tigana tried to run the ball out of trouble and was dispossessed by Breitner. He scampered to within 20 yards and then hit a low shot across goal that bounced just in front of Ettori. He couldn’t hold it diving to his left, and the ball slithered tantalizingly out in front of goal. It was a race between Fischer and Ettori, who scrambled desperately to his feet. Ettori got there by a split-second, if that, throwing himself forward to punch the ball behind for a corner like a father diving in front of a car to save a baby. He got a kick in the head from Fischer for his trouble. That is a sensational recovery from Ettori. All that training goalkeepers do – every single boring drill where they make a save and bounce straight up to their feet to make another – has been justified in injury-time in a World Cup semi-final.
1.46pm BST
90+1 min Manuel Amoros, the young full back with Spanish parents, almost wins the match with an unbelievable effort in injury-time. He ran forward thirty yards with the ball and then, with German defenders backpedalling, spotted immortality in the far top corner. He so nearly found it by cutting across a stunning 30-yard shot that swerved away from Schumacher and smashed off the crossbar. What an effort! The strike started well outside the line of the near post but swerved away so much that it hit the bar just inside the far post with Schumacher leaping desperately. He would not have got there. Rocheteau, on the turn, splattered the rebound over the bar from 12 yards. That was almost one of the great World Cup fairytales from a player who only won his first France cap in February.
1.45pm BST
90 min Germany win a corner on left. Breitner’s delivery is beyond Hrubesch, but Ettori at the far post drops it and is fortunate when it comes back to him off Lopez.
1.43pm BST
88 min With one of the Försters down receiving treatment, players from both sides neck a few Monte Verde chasers. They’ve earned them.
1.41pm BST
86 min Tigana somehow finds the energy for yet another run. He beats Breitner on the halfway line, runs to within 30 yards and then angles over a devilish, dipping cross towards the far post – where Rocheteau and Six get in each other’s way! Oh, you pair of goons. Rocheteau, who was leaping backwards on the six-yard line, didn’t know Six was behind him; Six’s view was impaired and he ran ahead of the ball, which hit the covering Kaltz and bounced behind for a corner.
1.36pm BST
81 min Platini and Lopez combine to find Six in space on the right. He coaxes a gorgeous, teasing ball in between the defenders and keeper. Schumacher and Rocheteau go flying towards it on the six-yard line. Rocheteau gets there a split-second ahead of the keeper and his header hits the chest of Schumacher before dropping tantalisingly in front of goal. Rocheteau might have been able to get there but his collision with Schumacher knocked him away from the ball and Stielike was able to smash the ball away. Actually, it probably wouldn’t have counted – it seems the referee has given a foul to Germany, which is ridiculous. Rocheteau and Schumacher were both entitled to go for that, and Rocheteau got there first.
1.35pm BST
80 min Another chance for Germany! France failed to get the ball away on a few occasions, when Dremmler burst round the outside of the defence on the right. His dipping cross towards the six-yard line somehow beat both Fischer, sliding in with Janvion at the near post, and Littbarski at the far.
1.34pm BST
79 min Germany, who have been under pressure for much of the second half, almost steal the lead. Breitner, waiting for the right option, pirouettes 270 degrees just outside the D before playing an angled through ball for the onrushing Briegel. He slips the sliding Lopez just inside the area and then smashes a shot from a tight angle that smacks off Ettori’s knee and behind for a corner. Ettori has had a dodgy tournament but that was a hugely important save.
1.33pm BST
78 min Amoros runs 60 yards down the left, slips past Kaltz and passes it square to Six, ten yards out just ahead of the near post. He takes a touch but then, with defenders converging, mis-hits a feeble shot that Schumacher plunges to save. There hasn’t been much joy of Six for France in this game; he has been frustratingly fitful once again. The pass was slightly behind him but he should still have done better.
1.28pm BST
73 min Magath, aged 81, is replaced by the hulking blond Horst Hrubesch, the man who scored both goals in the win over Belgium in the Euro 80 final and who bonded with his manager Jupp Derwall earlier in the tournament by calling him ‘a coward’.
1.26pm BST
71 min Briegel wins a battle of strength with Tigana, the decathlete against the athlete, and plays the ball into Dremmler. He plays a crisp one-two with Magath, back-pedalling into the area to receive the return pass before striking a good cross-shot that is well held by Ettori, plunging to his right. He had to hold that with Fischer waiting for the follow-up.
1.20pm BST
65 min Trésor flies through the air to win the ball off Kaltz. He’s penalized by the referee, presumably for showing his studs. The referee has a word with Trésor. While he’s doing so, Platini rubs Trésor’s head as if to say, ‘Get in there!’ This is in danger of boiling over. One day you’d hope players will get immediately sent off for that sort of tackle, though in the wake of the Battiston incident it’s probably not fair to point the finger at France too firmly.
1.19pm BST
64 min France, who have been much the better team since half time, have picked up where they left off before Battiston’s injury. Platini goes down in the area after a challenge from Briegel. It looked like a dive, and Corver waves his hands at Platini to say, no more, a hard-ass gesture that would be impressive had an unseen assault not just occurred on his watch. France get a corner anyway, from which the substitute Lopez almost scores! Schumacher came a long way to meet Giresse’s corner and got nowhere near it. He was beaten to the ball by Lopez, on the six yard line, who looped a header over the bar.
1.16pm BST
61 min Lopez comes on for Battiston. Play is going to restart with a goal-kick! No penalty, no red card, nothing. That is astonishing and disgraceful.
1.15pm BST
60 min The stretcher is finally on, almost three minutes after the collision. Battiston still doesn’t seem to be moving. His right hand is draped limply over the side of the stretcher. Platini takes that hand and holds it as Battiston is carried off. This is desperate.
1.14pm BST
59 min Giresse and Janvion run to the touchline to talk to their manager Hidalgo, who is waved back to his station by a stunningly pedantic FIFA official. Hidalgo pleads for a bit of sanity and humanity, realizes there will be none of that and then throws his hands over his shoulder in disgust before flouncing back to the bench, a gesture so Gallic that if you saw it in a film you’d accuse the director of excessive stereotyping.
1.13pm BST
58 min Schumacher has left the scene of the crime and is waiting to take a goal-kick, bold as brass, chewing gum impatiently as if everyone else is holding him up, rather than attending to a man he assaulted. That’s at best clueless and at worst appallingly callous. Also, surely it can’t be a goal-kick? But then the referee doesn’t seem to have given a penalty. There’s so much going on that it’s hard to tell.
The referee and Platini wave for a stretcher, with a number of other players surrounding the prostrate Battiston. There is a suggestion he may have lost some teeth. Platini waves his hands to the referee as if to say: What kind of business is this? Astonishingly, the referee hasn’t given a penalty. There is a chance that, because the tackle was so late, the referee followed the ball as it drifted past the post and missed Schumacher’s assault. It’s the only explanation. Although that doesn’t explain why the linesman missed it as well.
1.12pm BST
57 min Battiston has missed a great chance to put France ahead and, in the process, been flattened by Schumacher. Bossis, just inside the West German half on the right, won the ball and played it short to Platini. He turned, spotted Battiston haring through on goal and sprayed a nonchalant pass into the considerable space between Kaltz and Stielike. Schumacher, sensing the danger, charged out from goal. As the ball bounced up on the edge of the box Battiston took the shot first time and drifted it just wide of the far post – but as he did so he was flattened as Schumacher leapt into him. That has to be a penalty to France! It looks even worse on the replay: as Schumacher twisted his body in mid-air, his elbow smashed into the face of Battiston, who flopped sickeningly to the turf and bounced over on to his back. It was particularly horrible because both men were running at full pelt. It was also appallingly late: the ball had travelled seven or eight yards before Schumacher hit Battiston.
Battiston is lying on his back and the level of French concern suggests he may be unconscious. Once he is tended to, surely Schumacher will be sent off. Never mind a red card; he could get a stretch in the clink for that.
1.11pm BST
56 min The French fans behind the goal take a good 30 seconds to give the ball back after that Platini shot. When they do, Schumacher runs towards them and fakes to fling the ball back into the crowd before putting the ball down to take the goal-kick.
1.10pm BST
55 min Platini goes on a bewitching slalom from the left, past Kaltz and Stielike, but having made a decent shooting chance he wafts high over the bar from inside the D.
1.09pm BST
54 min The marvellous Giresse drilled a long, angled pass from the left. Rocheteau jumped for it with Bernd Förster, the last man, and when the ball broke loose he dragged it past Schumacher and into the net. But by then he had been penalized for a foul on Förster. He may have jumped into him, although it doesn’t look particularly bad. We haven’t seen a replay so it’s hard to tell. France’s lack of complaints probably tells a story.
1.08pm BST
53 min What a chance for France! Kaltz, just inside his own half, plays a lamentable square pass reminiscent of Toninho Cerezo’s against Italy on Monday. Briegel gawps at it, expecting somebody else to go and get it. Tigana nips in and, with Germany’s defence all over the place, slides a through-pass for Platini – but he is flagged offside. That was effectively a two-against-one break. Tigana waves his hand in disgust at Platini and mouths his frustration for the purposes of additional clarification. Platini fixes Tigana with a comically stern look in response. If Platini had waited a second longer he would have been through on goal. That said, he may well have timed it perfectly – another look suggests the linesman might have got it wrong, although it was a tough call.
1.05pm BST
50 min The first substitution: Patrick Battiston comes on to replace the injured Genghini.
1.04pm BST
49 min It’s been a scrappy start to the half, with a few fouls and a bit of residual tetchiness from the end of the first half.
1.00pm BST
46 min Bernd Förster starts the second half with a ridiculous flying tackle on Rocheteau, for which he is booked. Rocheteau chested the ball up in the air and Förster tried to come round the side of him with a flying kung-fu kick. He didn’t connect with that but his momentum knocked Rocheteau over.
12.45pm BST
A brilliant game of football. More please!
12.45pm BST
45+1 min Karlheinz Förster wins the ball off Rocheteau down the right and sends over a superb curling cross towards the six-yard line. Littbarski gets between Janvion and Amoros but then plants his header straight at Ettori, who saves at the second attempt. Littbarski should have scored, although it might not have counted: the whistle went for something, presumably offside.
12.42pm BST
43 min Breitner’s curving pass over the top finds Briegel, almost by the right touchline in the area. He should go with his right foot, but instead he whirls his left like an arthritic ninja to send the ball towards the near post. Ettori, who had his angles right, pats it behind.
12.40pm BST
41 min After five minutes of feistiness, France remind us that this is a football match with a stunning counter-attack that almost leads to one of the goals of the tournament. It starts with Giresse and Tigana riskily playing their way out of trouble inside the French area. Tigana pushes it forward to Six, who runs 30 yards and waves the ball to Rocheteau on the left with the outside of the foot. Rocheteau runs at Bernd Förster, teasing him with a series of touches and hip movements until he gets into the area on the left. Then, as Kaltz comes across, he stabs it back outside the box to Platini. He storms on to the ball, 20 yards out, and cuts across a beautiful shot that swerves and whistles just wide of the far post. That took 15 seconds from Giresse’s touch in his own area to Platini’s shot curving wide. You could have set that move to Beethoven. Actually you could have set it to ‘Happy Talk’ and it would still have stood as a work of art, it was so beautiful.
12.39pm BST
40 min This is getting a bit nasty now. Kaltz, marauding down the right, is clattered by Genghini, a challenge of endearing incompetence. Genghini is booked.
12.38pm BST
39 min Tigana’s dangerous, bouncing cross is chested nonchalantly back to Schumacher by Briegel, six yards from his own goal. Six slides in from behind on Briegel and then Schumacher’s forward momentum takes him on top of Six, whereupon he pins him like a wrestler and drags his elbow a little to clarify precisely what he thinks of Six’s challenge. Briegel stands over Six, looking at him almost quizzically, as a cat might look at a mouse that hasn’t quite died, and then seems to give Six a little rabbit kick. As Six gets to his feet, Schumacher shoves him away angrily. Six puts his hands out in apology – he didn’t actually do anything wrong – but Schumacher waves his hand in disgust. Platini motions for Schumacher to simmer down because the keeper really needs to. He’s off on one.
12.35pm BST
36 min Of all the people to get the first yellow card in this match, it’s Alain Giresse, for kicking the ball away after he was penalised for handball.
12.35pm BST
35 min Amoros’s low cross is flicked behind his standing leg by Six and Karlheinz Förster cushions a short-range backpass to Schumacher. As Schumacher takes the ball he rolls forward and rams into the thigh of Platini, who winces and holds the back of his right leg as he hobbles away. He should be fine.
12.30pm BST
31 min France have a bit of a strut now. Six’s drilled left-wing corner goes all the way across to Bossis on the edge of the area. He kills the ball like a playmaker, never mind a defender, and arrogantly lays it back to Genghini, whose sizzling half-volley tattoos a West German thigh and deflects wide for a corner.
12.27pm BST
Platini tucks the penalty away with authority, sending Schumacher the wrong way and sidefooting it low to the left. He celebrates with an instinctive, childlike leap of joy, both hands raised to the sky, before he is mobbed by teammates.
12.26pm BST
27 min The free-kick that was given for Kaltz’s foul on Genghini leads straight to a penalty. Giresse flicked the dead ball lazily into the area with the outside of his right foot towards Platini, who did superbly to win the header above Magath and Dremmler. He nutted it back across the face of goal, where Rocheteau went down under challenge from Bernd Förster. Förster did hook the ball clear eventually but the referee signalled that he was holding Rocheteau; replays suggest he was probably right. Stielike, unsurprisingly, does not entirely concur with this viewpoint.
12.25pm BST
26 min Kaltz nibbles away at Genghini, who responds with a sly kick to the back of the leg while Kaltz is being spoken to by the referee. The two men are about to start a Hegelian dialectic when the referee gets in between them.
12.21pm BST
22 min That’s eight goals in 13 internationals for Littbarski, who only made his West Germany debut last October. It was beautifully made by Breitner, who was playing at left-back in West Germany’s 1974 World Cup winners but now patrols midfield like an old don. Platini heads well wide from 18 yards.
12.17pm BST
West Germany deservedly strike first. Breitner opened the game up with an impatient run through France’s midfield before flicking a penetrative through-pass to Fischer, who had pulled cleverly away in between Trésor and Amoros. He overran the ball a fraction with an accidental second touch, allowing Ettori to come out and plunge at his feet – but the loose ball came to Littbarski, who spanked a low shot through a posse of bodies and into the net from the edge of the area.
12.15pm BST
16 min A long, angled free-kick is drilled towards Rocheteau, just inside the area and facing away from goal. It’s at face-height, so he improvises delightfully: he leaps forward, twists his body in mid-air and softens his chest to steer a flying chest pass, straight into the path of Genghini, who lashes the bouncing ball over the bar from the right of the box. Schumacher administers a finger-pointing bollocking to one, possibly more, maybe all of his team-mates.
12.14pm BST
15 min: LITTBARSKI HITS THE BAR! With France still organizing their wall, Breitner touched the ball off to Littbarski, who clattered the bar with a fierce shot. Ettori was beaten and the ball hit the bar with such force that it rebounded well outside the box.
12.13pm BST
14 min A truly absurd hack at Fischer from Janvion gives Germany a free-kick 35 yards out. That leads to another free-kick 20 yards out when Platini brings down Briegel. This is in a good position, just a few yards left of centre…
12.12pm BST
13 min France are coming into the game now. A dangerous cross from Amoros is taken away from the flying Rocheteau by the head of Bernd Förster. That leads to a corner on the right, from which Giresse plays a one-two with Rocheteau before clipping in an insouciant cross with the outside of his right foot. Bossis, unmarked on the edge of the six-yard box, just couldn’t leap high enough and Schumacher climbed over him to punch clear.
12.07pm BST
8 min A delectable example of the telepathy between – and economical brilliance of – Platini and Giresse. Platini draws two Germans towards him and pokes a pass forward to Giresse, in space 25 yards out. He turns, draws two more defenders towards him and teases a short through-pass towards Platini, who had kept running. He would have been clear on goal but for a superb stretching block from Stielike on the edge of the area.
12.03pm BST
4 min After a superb surge by Briegel, the former decathlete, Dremmler’s shot is deflected wide from 25 yards. West Germany have come out of the blocks like Alan Wells here.
12.01pm BST
2 min A breakneck start from Germany. Littbarski, one of the unexpected stars of the tournament, wriggles dangerously into the box before being crowded out. France finally get a kick when Kaltz falls on his arse. Platini is caught a touch late by Dremmler and hops around theatrically in pain like a demented kangaroo.
12.00pm BST
1 min The game finally gets under way with West Germany kicking off from left to right. For those listening on radio, they are in white, France are in blue.
11.56am BST
The teams are out! There’s a long delay before kick-off, with the West Germans idly kicking a ball between themselves. Nobody on either side looks remotely stressed. It’s a World Cup semi-final!
11.41am BST
West Germany, several of whose players have been suffering with stomach complaints this week, and whose captain Karl-Heinz Rummenigge is only fit for the bench because of the thigh injury that’s been troubling him all tournament: Harald Schumacher, Manfred Kaltz, Hans-Peter Briegel, Bernd Förster, Karlheinz Förster, Uli Stielike, Felix Magath, Paul Breitner, Klaus Fischer, Wolfgang Dremmler, Pierre Littbarski.
France plump for Six instead of Soler, but otherwise this is the lot who stroked four goals past Northern Ireland: Jean-Luc Ettori, Manuel Amoros, Maxime Bossis, Gérard Janvion, Marius Trésor, Alain Giresse, Bernard Genghini, Didier Six, Jean Tigana, Michel Platini, Dominique Rocheteau.
10.32am BST
It’s fair to say that neither of these teams started this tournament particularly well. France found themselves a goal down within 27 seconds of kick-off in their first match, against an England team that notoriously struggles for goals. Ooh la la. From that position, the only way was up. And so it was proven. France put away Kuwait and drew with Czechoslovakia in a game mainly notable for Antonin Panenka’s last act in international football (a penalty, naturally) and Manuel Amoros clearing off the line in the last minute to keep France in the competition.
In the second group stage, they lucked out, drawn with Austria and Northern Ireland, and didn’t look the gift horse dans la bouche, beating both teams by causing death by intricate passing (although it’d have been interesting to see what would have happened if Martin O’Neill’s unfairly disallowed early goal for the Irish had stood). Still, Michel Hidalgo called that performance against Northern Ireland the best of his six-year reign and here France are, in the semis, a team top-heavy with elegant talent – that midfield of Platini, Tigana, Giresse – doing just about enough to paper over the cracks of a brittle defence.
Continue reading...Rob Smyth's Blog
- Rob Smyth's profile
- 4 followers
