Rob Smyth's Blog, page 154

September 19, 2017

England beat West Indies by seven wickets in first ODI – live!

Jonny Bairstow’s high-class unbeaten 100, his maiden ODI century, guided England to an emphatic victory over West Indies at Old Trafford

8.19pm BST

That’s a mighty victory for England, who win with seven wickets and 67 deliveries to spare. The defeat by Pakistan in the Champions Trophy semi-finals was such a shock but it doesn’t seem to have done any medium-term damage. Jonny Bairstow gets a lovely reception from his team-mates as he walks off; there seems to be a huge amount of goodwill towards him.

So, England lead 1-0 with four to play and the West Indies will need to play in the qualifying tournament for the 2019 World Cup. The next match is on Thursday at Trent Bridge. See you then!

8.16pm BST

30.5 overs: England 210-3 (Bairstow 100, Stokes 23) Ben Stokes finishing the match in style, lifting Nurse for six to end on 23 not out from 10 balls.

8.15pm BST

Bairstow crunches Nurse through extra cover for three to reach his maiden hundred! It’s been a high-class innings, and he celebrates with a vigorous punch of the air. All the England team are on their feet applauding, including Jason Roy. Jonny be very, very good these days, and he has a great chance to establish himself at the top of the order.

8.12pm BST

30th over: England 199-3 (Bairstow 97, Stokes 15) Bairstow slices Williams through backward point for four before taking a slow single - there haven’t been many of those in his innings - to move to 96. Another single off the penultimate delivery of the over leaves him three away. Stokes then crashes the last ball down the ground for six!

8.08pm BST

29th over: England 186-3 (Bairstow 91, Stokes 8) Bairstow works Nurse for a single to move into the nineties. Another single takes him to within nine runs of a maiden ODI century, six years since that memorable cameo on debut against India.

8.05pm BST

28th over: England 183-3 (Bairstow 89, Stokes 7) Ben Stokes edges his first ball wide of the solitary slip for a single and then, off the final delivery, chips a slower, low full toss just over the head of Williams for four. England need 22 to win.

8.00pm BST

Eoin Morgan’s poor form continues. He pushed indecisively at a back-of-length delivery from Williams, unsure whether to defend or glide, and ended up thin-edging through to the keeper Shai Hope.

7.59pm BST

27th over: England 174-2 (Bairstow 88, Morgan 10) Nurse returns to the attack and beats Bairstow with a quicker one. He has been the pick of the West Indies bowlers by a fair way.

7.55pm BST

26th over: England 172-2 (Bairstow 86, Morgan 8) Bairstow cuffs Williams through extra cover for three, which makes this his highest ODI score. He could barely have wished for a more successful or comfortable start to his extended residence at the top of the order.

I forgot to plug this earlier, by the way - a fresh bit of spicy Beef.

7.49pm BST

25th over: England 165-2 (Bairstow 82, Morgan 6) “Root’s accumulation reminds me of the story of a cricketer who sold his soul to the devil so as to have a steady professional career as a batsman,” says John Starbuck. “Not wanting to draw undue attention, he is guaranteed a 50 but no more each time, so he usually gets out in the mid-40s. After a long county career, he is selected for England, but ends up as one of the last two against Australia needing a very few runs. Everything he tries to do to get no 11 to score fails, so after being on 50 for a long time, he finally scores the winning run. He never scores a run again in any form of the game and all because Lucifer doesn’t understand the concept of the leg-bye.”

That sounds like the concept for a choose-your-own-adventure book by Vic Marks.

7.45pm BST

24th over: England 159-2 (Bairstow 82, Morgan 1) The new batsman is Eoin Morgan. He’s scored 12 runs in his last seven innings, all in T20 cricket.

7.42pm BST

In an unlikely development, we have a wicket. Root, cramped for room by a shortish delivery by the new bowler Williams, pings it down onto the stumps.

7.38pm BST

23rd over: England 152-1 (Bairstow 79, Root 52) Root pulls Taylor for two to reach a 49-ball half-century full of unobtrusive class. He is now also the leading runscorer since the last World Cup. England have 19 overs to score 53 runs; they are going to thrash West Indies.

7.29pm BST

22nd over: England 146-1 (Bairstow 79, Root 46) Too short from Bishoo, and Root cracks a pull through wide mid-on for four. This is a poor over from Bishoo, with Bairstow slapping consecutive short balls to the boundary. Fifteen from the over!

In an unrelated development, has anyone read the Chris Lewis book? Any good?

7.26pm BST

21st over: England 131-1 (Bairstow 71, Root 39) A miserable short ball from the returning Taylor is slapped over cover for four by Bairstow. That brings up a 98-ball hundred partnership, the video of which should be used as a coaching aid. The running in particular has been close to perfect.

7.21pm BST

20th over: England 126-1 (Bairstow 67, Root 38) Bairstow rocks back to pull Bishoo down the ground for four and steers thje next ball to the third-man boundary for good measure. His highest ODI score to date is that feelgood, series-winning 83 not out against New Zealand in 2015. He’ll kick himself, perhaps literally, if he doesn’t get a maiden ODI ton tonight.

7.18pm BST

19th over: England 114-1 (Bairstow 57, Root 36) Joe Root’s career average (in all positions, not just No3) is creeping towards 50. Only Jonathan Trott has a better record for England. It’ll never happen, and I don’t blame him one bit for keeping his thoughts to himself, but I would love to hear an honest, detailed explanation from Root about why he’s so reluctant to bat at No3 in the Test team. It’s a fascinating subject.

7.15pm BST

18th over: England 108-1 (Bairstow 56, Root 31) I suspect that Bairstow and Root’s intelligence and ability have made batting look much easier against the spinners than is actually the case, because the ball is turning a fair bit now. The moment I type that, Bairstow misses a monstrous heave at a big legspinner from Bishoo and survives a stumping referral.

7.13pm BST

17th over: England 106-1 (Bairstow 55, Root 30) On Sky, Mike Atherton is talking about how nice it is for Joe Root to take a break from the captaincy when he’s in the ODI side.

Ian Ward: “When you’re captain of England, how much of your energy goes into looking after other people and all the other things that go with the job?”

7.08pm BST

16th over: England 99-1 (Bairstow 51, Root 29) Bairstow works Bishoo to the third-man boundary to reach an accomplished, mature half-century from 52 balls. Well played indeed.

“I don’t think there is enough cricket,” sniffs Ian Copestake. “An aggressive all-year-round strategy should be pursued so we are not in thrall to the Premiership. Put a roof on Lord’s an all.”

7.05pm BST

15th over: England 94-1 (Bairstow 47, Root 28) Nurse is starting to get some fairly sharp turn, though England are so far ahead of the game that it’s unlikely to make much difference.

7.03pm BST

14th over: England 92-1 (Bairstow 46, Root 27) Bishoo continues. Root reaches a long way outside off to belt a sweep between midwicket and mid-on for four. That was a great shot. This looks so easy for England.

“Interesting that you mention Root being forever 21,” says Adam Roberts. “I was considering the other day how the older I get, the less perspective I have on the length of a sportsman’s career. So until recently I still thought of Rooney as the SFN (Spud Faced Nipper) and Justin Rose had just turned pro. And what a shock to see footage from 2012 of new Test players Bairstow and Roach. It’s the sporting equivalent of policemen looking younger.”

7.00pm BST

13th over: England 84-1 (Bairstow 43, Root 22) An excellent over from Nurse, who troubles Bairstow with a biggish offspinner and then beats him on the outside with a quicker one.

“Occasionball boundary?” says John Starbuck, highlighting the typo in the 11th over. “That’s quite good and worth using again, but it does indicate you are hosting the spirit of James Joyce.”

6.57pm BST

12th over: England 82-1 (Bairstow 42, Root 21) Devendra Bishoo comes into the attack, or rather the defence. There’s no sense that a wicket is imminent, never mind the nine they need to win this match. The fifty partnership comes up from 44 deliveries. Most of those runs have been scampered rather than biffed; it’s been a performance of low-key excellence.

“It will be interesting to see how the next generation of spinners get on,” says John Starbuck. “It’s long been a truism that a wrist spinner will get you more wickets, but also that they’ll cost more runs. If you aim to get control over batsmen rather than attack them, the choice is simple and down to (the captain’s) team temperament.”

6.52pm BST

11th over: England 76-1 (Bairstow 37, Root 20) England are killing West Indies softly, with single after single after single and just the occasionball boundary - like that from Root, reverse swept friskily off the bowling of Nurse.

6.49pm BST

10th over: England 69-1 (Bairstow 36, Root 14) Six singles from Williams’ second over. This has been a clinic in running between the wickets from Bairstow and Root. Nothing wrong with their dot-ball ratios! We should call them the milkmen.

6.44pm BST

9th over: England 63-1 (Bairstow 33, Root 11) The offspinner Ashley Nurse’s second ball is lashed through the covers for four by Bairstow, who is batting really well. Roy provided a short, sharp shock at the top of the order; Bairstow has the look of somebody who wants to bat 40 overs and make 140.

6.41pm BST

8th over: England 56-1 (Bairstow 26, Root 10) Kesrick Williams replaces Jason Holder. He was impressive in the T20 on Saturday, though he’s currently nursing an ODI bowling average of 138. Make that 147 after an expensive first over that includes a tickle to the fine-leg boundary from Bairstow.

6.36pm BST

7th over: England 47-1 (Bairstow 19, Root 9) Jonny Bairstow is 28 next week. When did that happen? He does look ready to go to the next level, certainly as a Test batsman and maybe in ODIs too. Meanwhile Joe Root, who will forever be 21 years old, pulls Taylor just over the head of short fine leg for four. England are cruising and need 158 from 35 overs.

6.32pm BST

6th over: England 38-1 (Bairstow 15, Root 4) Root survives a dodgy drop-and-run, with the bowler Holder’s throw missing the stumps at the non-striker’s end. Root and Bairstow are generally brilliant between the wickets, so it’s no surprise that there’s a single from every delivery in that over.

“Would Rashid have been picked if it had been a hotter summer like, say, 1976?” asks Matthew Doherty.

6.28pm BST

5th over: England 32-1 (Bairstow 12, Root 1) The new batsman is Joe Root. He may not want to bat No3 in Tests but in ODIs the role fits him like a bespoke glove. In the history of the game, only the astonishing Virat Kohli has a higher average among those who have played at least 20 innings at No3. There are some serious names on this list.

6.24pm BST

Hales goes, slapping a short ball from Taylor to backward point. He looked in spectacular touch, racing to 19 from 14 balls, and will be pretty disappointed to get out like that.

6.22pm BST

4th over: England 27-0 (Bairstow 12, Hales 15) Bairstow drags Holder over wide mid-on for four, one hand coming off the bat in the process. England have picked up where they left off before that numbing semi-final defeat to Pakistan in the Champions Trophy. The future is less secure, though. Before the Pakistan game they had two shots at glory, the Champions Trophy and the 2019 World Cup. Not anymore. Next time, there’ll be no next time.

6.17pm BST

3rd over: England 21-0 (Bairstow 7, Hales 14) A short ball from Taylor is monstered over midwicket for a one-bounce four by Hales. A big series here will probably get him on the Ashes tour - whether it should is another matter - and he looks in glorious touch.

“Re Rashid at Lord’s, I think England were worried about Moeen going round the park (as he does from time to time) and then Rashid doing the same thing in the very first innings of the series (a prolonged Slatering),” says Gary Naylor. “637-2 is scarring that lasts. Leaving Rashid out may have been unfair, but it wasn’t irrational.”

6.12pm BST

2nd over: England 15-0 (Bairstow 7, Hales 8) There will be plenty of scrutiny on Jonny Bairstow, England’s newish ODI opener. He certainly has the game to succeed, though he isn’t yet as naturally explosive as Roy. You’d expect him to get a decent run now. He gets his first boundary today with a businesslike slap through the covers off Jason Holder.

6.09pm BST

1st over: England 9-0 (Bairstow 1, Hales 8) Alex Hales makes a pretty slow start, using up one dot ball before clouting Jerome Taylor over the leg side for four. The next ball is clipped through midwicket for four more, aided by a comedy misfield from Mohammed. He picked the ball up on the run just inside the boundary, tried to throw it behind him - and then watched it go straight over the rope.

6.05pm BST

The players are back out on the field. England need 205 from 42 overs. Let us flay.

5.52pm BST

“On the Adil Rashid subject,” begins James Thompson. “Whenever you watch Sky and they discuss him, they say that Joe Root will have been around him and there must be something that he didn’t like which is why he hasn’t been picked this summer. Surely Root doesn’t have that kind of influence on the selectors?”

I think he does, particularly for what was his first match as captain. Gary Ballance was certainly a Root pick. There are obvious reservations about Rashid as a Test player. I just think he did more than enough in the winter to get another chance. Morgan has captained him beautifully in white-ball cricket; he’s never had the same faith in the Test team.

5.40pm BST

“That’s one weird picture,” says Andrew Benton. Look, we all have to do a byline picture, it’s just the way newspaper wor- oh, I see. “Is Stokes wearing a big skin-coloured gauntlet that extends halfway up his forearm? And what’s he doing to Woakes’ belly?”

5.35pm BST

So, England need 205 to win in 42 overs. File under should. See you in a wee while for their run-chase.

5.34pm BST

42nd over: West Indies 204-9 (Holder 41, Williams 0) Holder chips the last ball of the innings lazily down the ground for two to complete a fine last over for the West Indies - 15 from it. Holder top scores with a useful 41 not out. Stokes bowled him two beamers earlier in the over, both of which slipped out of the hand. Only the pitiful will make anything of it. Stokes actually had one of his better ODIs with the ball before that last over, and finishes with three for 43.

5.33pm BST

After two accidental beamers in a chaotic last over from Stokes, Jerome Taylor hits a slower ball straight up in the air to give Jos Buttler a simple catch. There’s one ball remaining in the innings.

5.28pm BST

41st over: West Indies 189-8 (Holder 29, Taylor 1) Holder cuffed Willey down the ground before the dismissal of Bishoo, only the third boundary in the last ten overs. Willey ends with figures of 6-0-39-1.

5.26pm BST

Bishoo tries to ramp Willey, misses, and loses both his wicket and a soupçon of dignity. Eight balls remain in the innings.

5.21pm BST

40th over: West Indies 181-7 (Holder 23, Bishoo 4) An excellent over of death bowling from Stokes includes wide yorkers, slower balls ... everything we wish he’d bowled to Carlos Brathwaite, basically. Three runs from the over.

“To be fair, Rob…” says Gary Naylor, pasting the text commentary of Dawson’s dismissal of Hashim Amla.

5.17pm BST

39th over: West Indies 178-7 (Holder 22, Bishoo 3) Liam Plunkett returns to the attack, and a flurry of ones and twos take West Indies past their score of 176 for nine in the T20 game on Saturday.

5.12pm BST

38th over: West Indies 169-7 (Holder 16, Bishoo 1) Holder snicks Stokes for four. Good stuff from Nasser Hussain on Sky; he suggests West Indies have had a block-or-thwack approach to this innings and then backs it up with a statgasm: their dot-ball percentage today is 60, which is huge.

5.08pm BST

37th over: West Indies 161-7 (Holder 10, Bishoo 0) Rashid ends his spell with fine figures of 9-0-31-2. Why oh why oh flipping effing why didn’t England pick him ahead of Liam Dawson for that Lord’s Test against South Africa?

5.06pm BST

Another one for the excellent Rashid. Nurse goes inside out over extra cover but doesn’t get enough on it and Root takes a good running catch on the boundary.

5.03pm BST

36th over: West Indies 159-6 (Holder 8, Nurse 1) Ben Stokes returns to the attack. His first spell was superb and his second starts prrrrretty well with just a single from the over. West Indies are going nowhere. Not even sure they’re doing it fast. They have six overs to do something about it.

5.00pm BST

35th over: West Indies 158-6 (Holder 7, Nurse 1) Adil Rashid has taken 68 wickets since the 2015 World Cup, more than anyone else in the world. How great, by the way, that three of the top four on that list are legspinners. There is no prospect of a 69th wicket for Rashid in that over, with West Indies taking no risks whatsoever.

4.58pm BST

34th over: West Indies 155-6 (Holder 5, Nurse 0) Holder edges Woakes wide of slip for four.

“Over the next two years you have to accept that a turnover rate of about half would be, if not expected, at least a figure to plan for,” says John Starbuck. “Injuries and form obviously play a part but the trick lies, as usual, in spotting the new talent and how they perform under pressure. The actual placings in batting order or bowling unit can be disregarded for now. If I were a betting man (which I’m not) I’d look at how the younger county players at Test grounds are panning out. Unfair, but Test status does seem to be a factor.”

4.53pm BST

West Indies are going quietly. Powell tries to work Woakes to leg and inadvertently loops the ball towards mid-on, where Willey takes a comfortable running catch.

4.52pm BST

33rd over: West Indies 150-5 (Powell 23, Holder 0) Terrific stuff from Rashid. We’ll probably die wondering about his Test career; there is some consolation in the fact that he is bowling better than ever in white-ball cricket.

4.49pm BST

England have an even tighter grip on the game now. Mohammed slog sweeps Rashid towards deep midwicket, where Hales takes a simple catch. Actually it almost slipped out of his Hales’ hands, which would have been mildly embarrassing. But it didn’t, so what’s your point? Another wicket for Rashid, who has become one of England’s most important players in this format.

4.47pm BST

32nd over: West Indies 149-4 (Mohammed 18, Powell 22) I wonder how many of this England XI will be in the World Cup squad in two years’ time. David Willey is probably under the most threat, though an in-form Willey has the lovely ability to take early wickets. Liam Plunkett will be 34, though I’m sure you’ll concur that he’s a splendid specimen of masculinity.

While I’m busy worrying about 2019, Woakes hurries through an over that costs just two. England have a grip on this game at the moment.

4.43pm BST

31st over: West Indies 147-4 (Mohammed 17, Powell 22) Adil Rashid replaces Liam Plunkett, and Jason Mohammed says hello with a vigorous slap over midwicket for six. They need a few more such blows after those ponderous innings by Shai Hope and particularly Marlon Samuels.

4.38pm BST

30th over: West Indies 138-4 (Mohammed 9, Powell 21). There is a bowling change, but it’s broadly like for like, Woakes for Stokes. It yields a single to Mohammed before Powell edges for four through the vacant slip region. Jimmy Anderson, in his commentary box debut, points out that Powell’s strike rate is way better against seamers than spinners, but he’s not faced any yet. A wide from a bouncer and a sharper, more accurate short ball round off the over.

Right, that’s my stint done. Rob Smyth will now take you by the hand and guide you gently through the rest of the action. Stay with him.

4.34pm BST

29th over: West Indies 132-4 (Mohammed 8, Powell 17). Mohammed drives Plunkett square on the offside for one before Powell unfurls an exquisite straight drive for SIX, all timing and technique. The best of the day. Three quick singles follow. Time for the spinners again?

4.30pm BST

28th over: West Indies 123-4 (Mohammed 6, Powell 10). Drop! Mohammed pulls Stokes round the corner – it’s high and reachable for Chris Woakes but he’s slow to make his ground and spills it after getting his fingertips to it low down. And then, finally, a boundary, Powell’s high on-drive having enough momentum to trickle to the ropes when it lands. Another over-cooked bouncer is punished with a wide signal before a hastily scurried two rounds off a much better over for the tourists.

4.26pm BST

27th over: West Indies 113-4 (Mohammed 4, Powell 3). Mohammed straight drives Plunkett for one, but the boundaries continue to be elusive. Plunkett then concedes a wide with a bouncer so high it’s at least twice Powell’s height as it passes over him. He duly gets off the mark with another of those lofty on-drives that gets stuck in the outfield, bringing two. Another couple of singles follow.

England’s Test wicketkeeper, earlier:

WICKET! Gingers combine as @benstokes28 delivers and @jbairstow21 takes a fantastic catch!

WI 103/3 #ENGvWI https://t.co/30js6zz0Fu pic.twitter.com/vJhc2aAi23

4.21pm BST

26th over: West Indies 107-4 (Mohammed 2, Powell 0). Stokes’s offside strategy misfires with a fairly blatant wide at Samuels, and it’s followed by what initially looks to be one down the legside – but Stokes appeals for a catch behind. Morgan opts for a review, and it pays off. Not a wide, but a wicket, ultra-edge confirms. Samuels is a goner. England are on top now.

4.19pm BST

Wide or wicket? Stokes slants one down legside, which Samuels looks to have glanced to the keeper. Umpire Robinson initially calls wide, but England review, and Stokes is vindicated - there was contact, and he’s snared Samuels!

4.15pm BST

25th over: West Indies 106-3 (Samuels 17, Mohammed 2). Plunkett sends down four straight dot balls at Mohammed, then takes a bit of a tumble on the edge of the wicket - not sure you can pin that on the state of the surface – before Mohammed nudges through the covers for one. Samuels rounds off the over with an upper cut to third man, but he still can’t find the boundary. He has 17 from 44 balls.

4.11pm BST

24th over: West Indies 104-3 (Samuels 16, Mohammed 1). Hope’s promising innings comes to an end when he connects cleanly to pull a back of a length Stokes ball but sends it into Jonny Bairstow’s hands. He took it well, leaping and taking expertly. The pressure pays off. Mohammed is off the mark with a push on the offside.

4.08pm BST

Stokes gets the wicket he deserves, Hope pulling cleanly to deep square leg where Jonny Bairstow takes a fine catch.

4.06pm BST

23rd over: West Indies 103-2 (S Hope 35, Samuels 16). Hope cuts Plunkett square for a single to bring up a low-key but nonetheless useful 50 partnership. Plunkett also opts, wisely, to bang it in at Samuels and beats him with two consecutive short sharp’uns. And the batsman can’t work away the fuller ones either, and looks a little frustrated.

4.00pm BST

22nd over: West Indies 102-2 (S Hope 34, Samuels 16). A Stokes outthinks Hope with a wide slower ball out of the back of the hand that Hope hacks at and misses, a foible he repeats next ball before adding a rather more elegant clipped single. Another slower ball bamboozles Samuels before Stokes digs one in at his bat handle. An excellent over. And that’s drinks.

3.56pm BST

21st over: West Indies 101-2 (S Hope 33, Samuels 16). A change of ends for Plunkett, who replaces Rashid at the Jimmy Anderson end. It’s a more controlled and accurate over than those he sent down at the other end, though a crack past mid-on brings Samuels a single to take West Indies into three figures. Another leg-bye follows. Though England have reined West Indies back in after their earlier excesses, this stand’s beginning to look more and more useful. At the halfway stage in the innings, this one’s still delicately poised.

3.52pm BST

20th over: West Indies 98-2 (S Hope 32, Samuels 15). And here it is: Stokes is into the attack, Hope cutting his first ball square for a single to put his old mucker Marlon on strike. Stokes greets him with a slightly shorter ball that is worked easily down to third man for one. Hope adds one more to enable the pouting and glaring to resume as Samuels steps out of the way to halt Strokes in his delivery stride. The response is a bouncer that Samuels evades easily enough and it’s followed by a nice full slower ball that the batsman misses completely.

3.47pm BST

19th over: West Indies 94-2 (S Hope 30, Samuels 14). Rashid continues, conceding three consecutive singles before two low full tosses yield dot balls thanks to smart fielding at mid-on. Dropped catch aside, England have looked pretty focused in the field so far today.

3.45pm BST

18th over: West Indies 91-2 (S Hope 28, Samuels 13). Samuels nudges Plunkett off his legs for one as the ‘middle-overs meander’ vibe continues. Well at least until Hope produces another confidently executed pull shot for four. What an accomplished cricketer this man now looks, in all forms. Plunkett’s bowling at pace but not quite got his lengths right yet.

Here’s that Root catch from earlier by the way:

WICKET! @root66 with a brilliant catch to remove Gayle off @chriswoakes!

WI 53/2 #ENGvWI

More clips: https://t.co/30js6zz0Fu pic.twitter.com/LdtRtX1apr

3.41pm BST

17th over: West Indies 85-2 (S Hope 23, Samuels 13). Samuels drives Rashid through extra cover for two before the bowler appeals excitedly for a leg-before after a wrong’un strikes the advancing Samuels on the pad, but it’s almost certainly outside the line in the opinion of everyone else. Nonetheless, Rashid is bowling really well here. A wicket might be nice though.

3.38pm BST

16th over: West Indies 82-2 (S Hope 23, Samuels 10). Sooner or later one of these bowling changes will grant us a glimpse of Stokes v Samuels won’t it? Maybe but not yet. Plunkett’s the new bowler at the Statham End, and Hope cracks his first ball away nicely for a single. A bit of sloppiness in the field from Stokes brings another before Hope connects beautifully to send a perfectly timed pull-shot to the long-on boundary for four. West Indies’ most productive over in a while.

3.34pm BST

15th over: West Indies 74-2 (S Hope 17, Samuels 8). A glimpse of Bad Adil as he sends a full-toss at Samuels, but he can only pick up two with his push through the covers. The rest of the over’s pretty decent though, aided by sharp energetic work in the field as Hales cuts off a sweep slog that might have been four but ends up being one.

3.31pm BST

14th over: West Indies 70-2 (S Hope 15, Samuels 6). Samuels square-drives Willey uppishly for two but generally can’t clear the well-placed infield with his cover drives as Willey varies his pace nicely. Another single rounds off a frugal over.

3.27pm BST

13th over: West Indies 67-2 (S Hope 15, Samuels 3). Hope removes the shackles and launches Rashid over long-on for not so much a one-bounce four as a one-trickle four, such is the spongey turf. Rashid’s following his shots nicely though, generally tucking him up and bowling on a good length. I still wouldn’t rule him out for Tests in the future, but it seems those that make the decisions would.

3.24pm BST

12th over: West Indies 63-2 (S Hope 11, Samuels 3). Hope and Samuels not taking any risks at the moment, and aren’t really being given the opportunity to, Willey foxing Hope with a scrambled-seam inswinger that he plays outside, but a more expansive stroke does bring four, kind of by accident, skimming off the outside edge along the ground to the third-man boundary.

3.21pm BST

11th over: West Indies 57-2 (S Hope 6, Samuels 2). A spin for spin replacement, leg for off, as Rashid replaces Moeen. He keeps it tidy and accurate, conceding no room and only a single apiece to Hope and Samuels.

“Martin Matthews is soft,” bellows Bob O’Hara, slamming down his pint and summoning all-comers. “I hear Joe Root will still be playing cricket in December & January. Although not, I hope, with these idiots

3.18pm BST

10th over: West Indies 55-2 (S Hope 5, Samuels 1). Powerplay two sees Willey back from the Statham End and Samuels is off the mark with a flick to midwicket. Willey’s still finding some movement in the air, and makes Hope play and miss at one he doesn’t properly read. It’s another economical over, and West Indies need to reboot here.

“In response to George Davidson’s impassioned crie de coeur,” writes Brian Withington, “can I suggest in defence of the ECB that they might have reckoned on one of those (West) Indian Summers of yore to justify scheduling 5 ODIs in late September. I think Thomas Hardy called it “Martinmas” in Mayor of Casterbridge (O-level English Lit set text 1976 - now that was a summer and a half). Funny how some words stick in the memory, like a Proustian smell of madeleine ...” Proof, also, that every single conversation about West Indies cricket will always at one point invokes the summer of 1976. It’s cricket’s equivalent of Mornington Crescent, or something.

3.13pm BST

9th over: West Indies 53-2 (S Hope 4, Samuels 0). Woakes pitches a tad too full and wide to give Gayle a chance to swing again, but this aerial drive is another that plugs in the outfield and gives him just two. Morgan pushes his fielders to the edge of the circle, exploiting Gayle’s clear discomfort at running ones and twos. It works, as Gayle is “forced” to go over the top, and doesn’t quite nail another straight drive that Root takes brilliantly. So momentum is with England now at the end of the first powerplay.

3.11pm BST

England have their man. Unable to run freely, Gayle goes inevitably for the drive over the top but doesn’t quite get hold of it and Root, running back, takes an excellent catch on the run at long-off.

3.07pm BST

8th over: West Indies 51-1 (Gayle 35, S Hope 4). A Hope single off Moeen brings the 50 up before Gayle pretty much walks for another one. But the flow of runs has been stemmed for now, as Moeen tucks up Hope for the rest of a tidy over, that yields only two.

“Who’s complaining about cricket in September?” fifth-Yorkshiremans Martin Matthews from, er, north London. “At Highgate CC we play until the 8th of October (against Stage CC since you asked).”

3.04pm BST

7th over: West Indies 49-1 (Gayle 34, S Hope 3). Woakes cuts Hope in half with a beauty that thwacks the edge of the pad and dobs down to first slip. His subsequent single returns Gayle to the strike, whereupon his frankly contemptuous approach to running between the wickets is almost punished as he almost forgets to run for his dab down to backward point, but the throw at the stumps is nowhere near accurate enough. Bumble thinks Gayle’s been picked up on the stump mic complaining of a hamstring pull. He’s certainly not running easily. He might have to get ‘em in fours and sixes, which he mostly does anyway.

2.59pm BST

6th over: West Indies 46-1 (Gayle 33, S Hope 1). An early airing of spin, though no an altogether surprising one, as Moeen replaces Willey. This could go either way, though it begins with a couple of sleepy singles, before vindication arrives swiftly as Lewis hoiks one straight to Hales at square leg. The much-praised Shai Hope is the new man in, and begins cautiously, getting off the mark with a nudge round the corner for one to deprive Gayle of the strike.

2.57pm BST

The change of bowling works, Moeen is pulled fiercely to square leg by Lewis, and Hales takes a sharp catch.

2.54pm BST

5th over: West Indies 43-0 (Gayle 32, Lewis 10). Lewis gets his first four with a classical Proper Cricket shot, driving Woakes off the back foot through the gaps on the offside for four. He squirts another single down to third man to put Gayle on strike, and two slips pushed further out, and Woakes sends a lovely delivery past the left-hander’s outside-edge. A better over for England.

An email, less a quip than a serious Letter to the Editor, from George Davidson:

Sir,

The authorities who are supposed to protect cricket continue to do their best to damage it.

2.51pm BST

4th over: West Indies 38-0 (Gayle 32, Lewis 5). The onslaught continues. Willey fancies an lbw shout against Lewis after rapping him high on the pad, but no one else does: it’s clearly going over. Lewis lives dangerously again, miscuing a pivoted pull shot that falls just short of Hales at deep square leg. Willey’s making the ball do more than Woakes is but can’t legislate for Gayle’s unerring ability to pick up a length ball and effortlessly swing it straight down the ground for SIX, which he does off the fourth delivery of the over, which is prolonged by a wide before Willey finds a low outside-edge off Gayle that doesn’t carry to second slip. Gayle’s comeback shot is, you guessed, another easy SIX down the ground, the biggest of the lot, punishing Willey for over-pitching. Whatever you think of him, he’s a cricketing phenomenon.

2.45pm BST

3rd over: West Indies 24-0 (Gayle 20, Lewis 4). The onslaught starts? More chance-offering from West Indies as Lewis’s square slash off Woakes just eludes Morgan at backward point and brings two. He adds a single before Gayle gets his first boundary with a crunching aerial straight drive that takes one bounce. The next one doesn’t take any – it’s walloped over long-on and several rows back for SIX, and Gayle pulls the next ball across the line towards the same area for four more for good measure. England are attacking hard here, with three slips in, but these openers can give it back.

2.39pm BST

2nd over: West Indies 7-0 (Gayle 6, Lewis 1). David Willey opens up at the other end, and gets extravagant swing straight away, and Gayle lets it pass. A languid drive into the covers followed by an aerial clip to deep square leg then bring him two and one respectively, and Lewis gets underway by digging out an attempted yorker to mid-on for a single. Gayle’s first attempt to go large, a chip over mid-off, plugs in the much-fretted-over turf and doesn’t make the boundary. It’s two.

“Typical of Manchester to have under-soil rain,” regional-stereotypes Ian Copestake.

2.35pm BST

1st over: West Indies 1-0 (Gayle 1, Lewis 0). So Chris Woakes has the new ball as we enter the first nine-over powerplay. Chris Gayle’s first ODI shot in more than two years is a limp play and miss as Woakes skilfully pushes one past his outside edge. And his third shot is DROPPED, a sharp slash outside off stump to second slip, where Joe Root snatches at it and spills it. How many more times will England slip fielders do that this season? Gayle gets underway with a flick to square leg for a single and Woakes rounds off a fine first over with a steepling bouncer at the left-handed Lewis.

2.28pm BST

The players are on their way out. Old Trafford looks all lovely and sunny. As it has for the past couple of hours.

2.21pm BST

Before we start:

Our thoughts and prayers with our brothers and sisters in the path of Hurricane Maria. A message below from Prime Minister of Dominica. pic.twitter.com/hfTrKcXrmG

2.16pm BST

Both sides go with two spinners, to no great surprise:

England: Hales, Bairstow, Root, Morgan, Stokes, Buttler, Moeen, Woakes, Rashid, Plunkett, Willey

2.11pm BST

Jason Holder calls right and opts for first use, backing his top order and spinners.

2.04pm BST

Umpire Tim Robinson says “it’s still not great but dried a little bit”, and we have ourselves a game - 42 overs a side.

1.57pm BST

“Why don’t they move the boundary to exclude the wet areas for this match?” ponders Andrew Benton, thinking right outside that box. “As long as it stays there for both innings, I can’t see a problem.” Given that the damp areas include patches well within the circle, it would make for some crazily easy sixes and overthrows. Worth a go, I guess. Bums on seats and all that.

1.49pm BST

Bumble is out there prodding at some parts of the outfield on which players had been doing some practice, and they do look quite churned. “It’s a bit damp,” he concedes, urging the non-shooting of messengers. Part of the problem, he says, is that Old Trafford has staged two big concerts here this summer, in aid of the Manchester bomb victims, which no one should begrudge, but it’s added to the strain on the surface.

John Starbuck weighs in with his first email of the day: “I blame the Old Trafford management,” he thunders. “You can understand them wanting to sweat their assets, as that’s what people are told to do these days, but there’s a category error here: you can’t mix international cricket and rock concerts at the same venue because the quality of the playing surface is all-important. High traffic areas are all very well for a rugby game, because the players expect to be slipping and sliding around - it’s part of the appeal. Not so for the Greatest Game.”

1.43pm BST

“Cricket speaks with forked tongue,” hisses Mike Hill: “ECB campaigns to ‘get the game on’ and at the same time says player safety is paramount. End result: glorious sunny day, wicket and square dry, bit of a damp outfield and no play. people wonder why cricket is dying sport.”

Though I suspect a fixture such as this, scheduled as it is, is something of a preacher to the converted. Won’t be many young fans at this one. Still, a decent crowd is in to spend money in the bars...

1.31pm BST

For want of anything better to do, Gary Weightman emails in and waxes nostalgic: “Being somewhat long in the tooth the sight of umpires parading around the outfield poking at damp patches is marvellously old school, the days before supersoppers, the days of hessian mats and sawdust.”

On the other hand, Andrew Benton rails at the future: “Cricket needs industrial-sized vacuum cleaners to suck up the water - someone must have thought to invented one, surely?” It’s a really poor show from The Boffins, that - we don’t need any more iPhones. We need monster-rain-vacuumers. And jetpacks, obviously.

1.16pm BST

This is perfectly tedious. Not ready to start yet - perhaps some miraculous transformation will have blessed us in 45 minutes.

1.14pm BST

Still no definite decision. The areas of concern on the pitch appear to be square-ish of the wicket - around backward point - some patches on the boundary, and along the bowlers’ run-ups. Player safety is an understandable concern. This isn’t looking particularly hopeful, and nor does it reflect well on the schedule - who’d have thought it might be touch and go to get a game of cricket on in the autumn?

1.06pm BST

The umpires are on the outfield, stomping around on the suspect bits, then milling and chatting to the captains, and looking somewhat anxious and contemplative, it must be said. The pitch itself “looks absolutely fantastic”, with a decent amount of early carry and plenty in it for spinners later on, according to Jimmy Anderson and David Lloyd on Sky duties. If we’re deprived cricket on it, there’ll be some very unhappy punters.

12.53pm BST

“Can’t help feeling as I did at 7.30pm on Easter Sunday after a surfeit of choccy - I’ve had too much of a good thing,” sighs a phlegmatic Gary Naylor. “Ho hum.” Helpfully, courtesy of Gary, you can pass some time by reading his own county cricket talking points here:

12.49pm BST

Ian Ward on Sky reminds us that West Indies need to win this series 4-0 or 5-0 to guarantee qualification for the World Cup - going through the qualification tournament is their likely fate – which reminds me to be angry anew about the mean and stupid decision to cut the number of competing teams in the finals to 10, and in a tedious single-group format. The people who run cricket and football’s world cups need to swap places.

12.38pm BST

The between-innings break has been reduced to 15 minutes, and latest indications are that if the match can start by 1.30 they’ll play the whole 50 overs each; any more and we’ll start losing some.

12.33pm BST

Some succinct early thoughts from you the public:

The fact that this is being played in September is a disgrace.

12.06pm BST

It isn’t raining, but the outfield is deemed too damp and soft in important areas to start at the moment, and groundstaff “have concerns”, Saturday’s slip-sliding at Durham perhaps particularly prominent in their mind. They’ll look again at 1pm, though given that there’s no wind and it’s not exactly tropical, you have to wonder how much dryer it can get.

11.57am BST

Some pre-match reading for you. The Spin is in – and if you don’t subscribe, for extra choice tidbits, you really should. Anyway, Andy Bull pays tribute to stalwart county wicketkeepers and international nearly men Chris Read and Jamie Foster in this week’s edition:

4.36pm BST

Morning/afternoon everyone. Time was when the entire season would be done and dusted by this point in September. Tests, ODIs, all the county honours, the works. But here we are, at the start of an ODI series, the final international stanza of this quart-into-a-pint-pot of an English season. It’s too easy to scoff at this summer’s schedule of course, but what with England hosting showpiece 50-over tournaments in the men’s and women’s game, an eagerly anticipated marquee series against South Africa - which actually turned out to be a dampish squib - and a Test series against West Indies to crowbar in too, it’s hard to see when else this series, if it were to be held at all, could be slotted in.

As it happens, the unexpectedly watchable nature of the West Indies Test series has kept the pot boiling a little. That involved a very different touring squad, of course, but the return of big guns such as sexism’s Chris Gayle and banter’s Marlon Samuels for the limited-overs stuff adds spice to this final chapter of the international summer.

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Published on September 19, 2017 12:19

September 17, 2017

India v Australia: first one-day international – live!

Live updates from the first of the five-match series in ChennaiGet in touch with Sam on email or via Twitter @sjjperry

9.25am BST

4th over: India 11-1 (Kohli 0, Sharma 4)

It saw a wicket, this one, and Kohli to the crease. There was a slight delay before Coulter-Nile started as Sharma called for some tape for his bat. His bottom-edge was the issue after he toed a pull shot from a 140km/hr thunderbolt from Cummins last over. That will happen. Coulter-Nile then overstepped to rapturous applause from the crowd. He threw his head back in agony, possibly exacerbated by the slow motion replay I watched of it. He responded with a bouncer that Rahane missed out on, before edging through to Wade the ball following. Was it a bottom-edge? Will need to re-check. It brings in Kohli to wild applause.

9.22am BST

After a no-ball and a missed free hit Rahane succumbs to the three-card trick, caught behind by Wade after slashing at a fullish, wide one. A ball earlier he’d missed a free-hit bouncer, which may have rooted his feet in the crease as he wafted, flirted with Coulter-Nile’s width, earning only a healthy nick through to Wade.

9.16am BST

3rd over: India 10-0 (Rahane 5, Sharma 4)

Unerring line, length and I suppose, pace, earns Cummins a few more dots before Rahane leans on a defensive stroke that splits cover-point and mid-off for two. It was one of those well-timed shots that leaves the fielder sprinting next to it for fifteen metres before they’re sure they can get down to it with any confidence. Cummins follows with a wide down leg side. The crowd cheers. Another run down to third man and a mistimed pull for two means a better over for India - six from it to be precise.

9.10am BST

2nd over: India 4-0 (Rahane 2, Sharma 2)

Coulter-Nile starts from the other end. He’s more powerfully built than Cummins and muscles the ball in - you can almost feel the heaviness of his deliveries hitting the bat. He looks for the same length as Cummins - shaping away around the fourth stump line, and has four dot balls to start things off. Sharma guides one uppishly but safely to third man - even with a checked shot it flew off the bat. It gives Sharma his first look at Coulter-Nile and he leaves it. Economic start for both teams.

So it begins #INDvAUS pic.twitter.com/hmElctOISq

9.05am BST

1st over: India 3-0 (Rahane 1, Sharma 2)

The temperature nears 30 degrees as Cummins starts things off to Rahane. There’s a false start with a bit of movement behind the bowler’s arm. Cummins finds some shape away early, as the crowd roars with approval at Rahane steering the first down to third man. Wade takes the next one above his shoulder; he really is quick. The next three are bang on the money as Sharma has a close look. There’s a little bit of bounce in this wicket, it seems. For how long? Cummins is a little straight in the concluding delivery and Sharma turns it off his hip for two.

8.59am BST

Players are out there

Kohli described the decision to bat as “a no brainer”. Smith was a little more cagey about what he’d want to do. Not admit disadvantage, I’m guessing.

8.50am BST

To get in touch

Normally write this in the opening preamble but was so distracted by my own crippling cynicism to mention that this gig is two-way. To get in touch, email me at sam.perry.freelance@guardian.co.uk - or level with me on Twitter: @sjjperry

8.47am BST

Cartwright to debut

Doesn’t give it the ‘thumbs up’, but rather the ‘ridgey didge’.

Presenting Australian ODI cricketer No.221 - Hilton Cartwright #INDvAUS pic.twitter.com/9KAamIxD3h

8.46am BST

Toss News

India has won the toss, and they will bat.

India have won the toss and will bat first #INDvAUS pic.twitter.com/yx9iOtMjXL

8.45am BST

Hello all, and welcome to our coverage of the ODI between India v Australia – the first of a five match series – from the M Chidambaram Stadium, Chennai.

Like most, I’m not really sure what the cricketing purpose of this series is. But there will be cricket, and the quality is bound to be good.

7.51am BST

Sam will be here shortly.

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Published on September 17, 2017 01:25

September 16, 2017

Watford 0-6 Manchester City, Liverpool 1-1 Burnley and more – as it happened

Sergio Aguero scored a hat-trick as Manchester City demolished Watford, while Newcastle moved into the top four with victory over Stoke

5.30pm BST

5.25pm BST

5.22pm BST

5.18pm BST

5.14pm BST

5.09pm BST

Get yer Football Pink here!

That’s all for today’s clockwatch. Some match reports will appear here, as if by magic, in the next 10-20 minutes. You can also follow Spurs v Swansea with house genius Scott Murray’s live blog. Thanks for your company, night!

5.08pm BST

That’s an excellent victory for Barcelona, who showed they can win ugly. It takes them, for now at least, seven points clear of Real Madrid.

5.00pm BST

If Paulinho scores the winner i'll dedicate my account to Cristiano Ronaldo for an entire month

If Paulinho scores the winner I'll send everyone who Rts this $100

4.59pm BST

Getafe’s hopes and dreams have been smashed to smithereens. Paulinho has given Barcelona the lead moments after Arambarri hit the post at the other end.

4.57pm BST

Barcelona are running out of time to get a winner at Getafe. While they endeavour to get one, here’s Scott Murray with the team news for Spurs v Swansea.

4.55pm BST

Millwall have beaten the Championship leaders Leeds 1-0, while Wolves’ 2-1 win at Nottingham Forest takes them up to second. The brilliant Diogo Jota scored both goals.

4.53pm BST

All the Burnley players rush to congratulate the goalkeeper Nick Pope, whose grandchildren will get chapter and verse on the day he made his full Premier League debut at Anfield.

4.52pm BST

City go top with a spectacular shellacking of Watford, while Newcastle’s third consecutive victory takes them into the top four.

4.50pm BST

“Luis Suárez has been spectacularly poor, and to has started throwing himself to the floor,” says Charles Antaki. “To cap it all he’s invited the referee to some kind of fist fight and got booked for his pains.”

4.47pm BST

When you score 15 goals in three games, people tend not to look at the cleanliness of your sheets. But those three consecutive clean sheets will make Pep Guardiola pretty happy. City have only conceded two goals in their six games so far this season.

4.46pm BST

Raheem Sterling wins and scores a penalty at Vicarage Road to complete a spectacular afternoon’s work. City’s last three results: 5-0, 4-0, 6-0.

4.45pm BST

Eric Choupo-Moting has missed a great chance to equalise for Stoke. They trail Newcastle 2-1 with a few minutes remaining.

4.44pm BST

Nick Pope keeps Burnley level at Anfield with two terrific saves.

4.40pm BST

Burnley almost take the lead at Anfield, where Ben Mee’s header is desperately saved by Simon Mignolet.

4.39pm BST

Sergio Aguero gets his hat-trick, beating Heurelho Gomes with a crafty finish from a tight angle after a memorable solo run. City have been fifty shades of awesome and are on course for back-to-back 5-0 Premier League wins.

4.38pm BST

Denis Suarez, on for Andres Iniesta, has equalised for Barcelona after good work from Sergi Roberto.

4.34pm BST

Another one for James Forrest. This week sums up the strange limbo in which Celtic exist: beaten 5-0 in Europe, cruising 4-0 in the league.

4.32pm BST

Aiden O’Brien scores from close range to give Millwall a deserved lead against Leeds, whose unbeaten run is in jeopardy.

4.30pm BST

Liverpool are battering Burnley at Anfield, but the score is still 1-1.

4.28pm BST

Sound the Miss of the Season klaxon: Jamie Vardy has made a mess of an open goal from four yards. It’s still Huddersfield 1-1 Leicester

4.27pm BST

Ousmane Dembélé has a hamstring injury in his left leg, more tests are needed to find out the extent of the injury #FCBlive pic.twitter.com/tekYrp6AHQ

4.25pm BST

Jamaal Lascelles, who scored the winner at Swansea last weekend, has headed Newcastle back into the lead!

4.24pm BST

The West Brom keeper Ben Foster is booked for a studs-up tackle on Chicharito. It sounds like he is very lucky not to be sent off.

4.22pm BST

The assist machine Kevin de Bruyne cranks out another, crossing for Nicolas Otamendi to head into the net. Since the international break City have a combined score of 13-0 against Liverpool, Feyenoord and Watford.

4.20pm BST

Full time: Bayern 4-0 Mainz 05 Two for Robben, two for Lewandowski.

4.20pm BST

Sabiri has had a goal disallowed for Huddersfield against Leicester. My snouts tell me it was a pretty dubious decision.

4.16pm BST

West Brom v West Ham latest (it’s 0-0)

I've seen better games.

4.15pm BST

Stoke are level through Xherdan Shaqiri, who places an excellent left-footed shot into the bottom corner.

4.14pm BST

Burnley are still level at Anfield. They were hopeless away from home last year but this season they have had an exceptional start: a win at Chelsea, a draw at Spurs and now, potentially, a draw at Liverpool.

4.12pm BST

Celtic are cruising to another SPL victory, with James Forrest putting them 3-0 ahead.

4.09pm BST

Jordan Jones has scored a surprise equaliser for Kilmarnock at Pittodrie.

4.08pm BST

A routine day at the office for Bayern is almost complete, with Robert Lewandowski getting his second.

4.07pm BST

Jamie Vardy hammers Leicester level with his second penalty in consecutive games.

4.06pm BST

Half time: Getafe 1-0 Barcelona

4.05pm BST

It’s taken a while but Huddersfield deserve this lead. Depoitre rolls Maguire and smacks the ball past Schmeichel. If it stays like this, Huddersfield will be third tonight. What a story!

4.03pm BST

“Newcastle, Watford, Huddersfield, Burnley, all fighting over the Champions League places,” says Bill Hargreaves. “I think we all foresaw that.”

In a post-Leicester age, anything is possible in the best league in the world!

4.01pm BST

Full time: Crotone 0-2 Internazionale

A late goal from Ivan Perisic sealed victory for Inter in a game so dull that it won’t even be used as tomorrow’s chip paper.

4.00pm BST

A storming volley from Gaku Shibasaki gives Getafe the lead against Barcelona. That was more than a volley; it was a screamer.

3.59pm BST

Topical half-time reading Well, sort of. With Aguero and Jesus running riot at Watford, let’s celebrate some great strike partnerships of yesteryear.

3.49pm BST

This is the Premier League table as things stand, with Newcastle up in fourth.

3.48pm BST

Whistles are going up and down the country. These are the scores in our, erm, featured games.

Premier League

3.46pm BST

“Ousmane Dembele off for Barcelona, with the back-of-thigh-clutch suggesting a problem of the afternoon-ending variety,” says Charles Antaki. “Since Suarez has been more or less invisible, that leaves only Messi in the front line, who hasn’t done much yet. Getafe have successfully made it fairly snoozy all round.”

3.44pm BST

Moussa Dembele scores on his return to the team with a nice curling shot, it says here.

3.44pm BST

Milan Škriniar has enlivened a dog of a game with a late goal.

3.41pm BST

And in the Championship, Gary Hooper has given Sheffield Wednesday the lead at Cardiff.

3.40pm BST

“Please keep us updated on the Klopp pantomime, Rob,” says Bill Hargreaves. “Are the teeth yet bared?”

We don’t, alas, have any way of watching the 3pm kick-offs. I know you can get illegal streams, but this is the Guardian, so we don’t

publicly acknowledge our use of
use dodgy feeds.

3.38pm BST

What comes after rampant? Whatever it is, that’s what City are at Vicarage Road. Gabriel Jesus, possibly offside, has made it 3-0. They’ve now scored 12 goals in the last two and a half games.

3.34pm BST

If you’re into the whole European thing, a few scores of note

3.33pm BST

It’s still Millwall 0-0 Leeds at the Den, though Millwall are well on top. You can get all the latest scores from the Football League by clicking this.

3.31pm BST

City are rampant. David Silva’s cross finds its way to Sergio Aguero, who gets his second goal in five minutes.

3.30pm BST

Burnley have paid the price for tweaking the tiger’s tail. Liverpool took just four minutes to equalise, with the impressive Mo Salah getting the goal.

3.29pm BST

At the Hawthorns, West Ham’s Pedro Obiang has hit the bar from 45 yards.

3.28pm BST

The postman has arrived at Vicarage Road: Kevin De Bruyne’s superb ball in is headed emphatically into the net by Sergio Aguero.

3.27pm BST

Insert your own Arfield/Anfield pun here. For the second season in a row, Burnley take the lead at Anfield, this time thanks to excellent strike from Scott Arfield and some poor Liverpool defending.

3.25pm BST

Richarlison has headed just wide for Watford in what sounds like an excellent game against Manchester City.

3.23pm BST

“Barça are wearing, so far as one can tell, a kit that’s homage to the immortal Coventry 1978 chocolate-wth-an-art-deco-yellow-stripe of the late 1970s,” says Charles Antaki. “They might not play quite the same way though.”

3.22pm BST

To frost or not to frost “Seen Andy Carroll?” asks JR in Illinois. “What on earth could he be thinking? Who has told him to frost his tips? Was it a dare, maybe? I understand a lot of footballers are drawn to silly hairdos but this is a bridge too far.”

I don’t really think it’s appropriate to ridicule another man for his haircut, a non-negotiable moral stance that has absolutely nothing to do with the recent discovery of photos of my tips circa 2002.

3.20pm BST

It was only a few weeks ago that Newcastle were vying for possession of the Premier League Crisis Baton™. Now they are flying, and Christian Atsu has given them the lead against Stoke.

3.17pm BST

Still no goals in the 3pm Premier League games. But there is at least one and maybe four Manchester City goals in the post at Vicarage Road; they are all over Watford.

3.16pm BST

Aberdeen are no longer top of the as-it-stands table, because Tomas Rogic has given Celtic the lead against Ross County.

3.14pm BST

Aberdeen have taken an early lead against Kilmarknock through Stevie May, and as it stands they are top of the table.

3.12pm BST

West Brom almost score after poor defending from Obiang. Gibbs denied by Reid block, though.

3.10pm BST

Manchester City have started well in the top-of-the-table clash at Watford, with Fernandinho’s sweet-spotter saved by Heurelho Gomes.

3.08pm BST

3.05pm BST

The 3pm Premier League games are under way. Nothing has happened so far. You’re welcome!

2.59pm BST

Arjen Robben gets his second of the game - or his first, depending on how you feel about shots that are deflected off team-mates. What really matters - BECAUSE THERE’S NO I IN TEAM, IS THERE NOW - is that Bayern lead 2-0.

2.52pm BST

And so to Italy, where the half-time score is Crotone 0-0 Internazionale. The match is flattered by that scoreline. I’m getting Como flashbacks.

2.44pm BST

That didn’t take long. Thomas Muller’s shot deflects off Arjen Robben to give Bayern an early lead.

2.32pm BST

Laugh/cry dilemma

5 - Crystal Palace are the first side in English top-flight history to open the season with five defeats and no goals scored. Woe. pic.twitter.com/umoc2RwDdb

2.28pm BST

Plugs plugs plugs

2.27pm BST

Full time: Crystal Palace 0-1 Southampton

2.25pm BST

Getafe v Barcelona team news

¡Ya conocemos el once elegido por José Bordalás para el partido frente al @FCBarcelona_es de esta tarde! #VamosGeta #GetafeBarcelona pic.twitter.com/Yrja3Kib7a

XI Barça:
1.Ter Stegen
3.Piqué
4.Rakitic
5.Sergio
8.Iniesta
9.Suárez
10.Messi
11.Dembélé
18.J.Alba
20.S.Roberto
23.Umtiti
#ForçaBarça

2.22pm BST

Huddersfield v Leicester team news

Huddersfield (4-2-3-1) Lossl; Smith, Zanka, Schindler, Lowe; Williams, Mooy; Kachunga, Ince, Sabiri; Depoitre.
Substitutes: Coleman, Hefele, Malone, Hogg, van La Parra, Billing, Quaner.

2.21pm BST

Newcastle v Stoke team news

Newcastle (4-2-3-1) Elliot; Yedlin, Mbemba, Lascelles, Clark; Hayden, Merino; Ritchie, Perez, Atsu; Joselu.
Substitutes: Woodman, Manquillo, Lejeune, Murphy, Shelvey, Diame, Gayle.

2.18pm BST

Watford v Manchester City team news

Watford (4-3-3) Gomes; Janmaat, Kabasele, Mariappa, Holebas; Doucoure, Cleverley, Chalobah; Carrillo, Gray, Richarlison.
Substitutes: Karnezis, Wague, Zeegelaar, Capoue, Pereyra, Success, Deeney.

2.15pm BST

West Brom v West Ham team news

West Brom (4-2-3-1) Foster; Dawson, Hegazi, Evans, Gibbs; Barry, Krychowiak; Morrison, Phillips, Brunt; Rodriguez.
Substitutes: Myhill, Nyom, McAuley, Yacob, McClean, Rondon, Robson-Kanu.

2.05pm BST

Liverpool v Burnley team news, aka the return of Philippe Coutinho

Liverpool (4-3-3) Mignolet; Alexander-Arnold, Matip, Klavan, Robertson; Milner, Can, Coutinho; Salah, Firmino, Sturridge.
Substitutes: Karius, Lovren, Moreno, Wijnaldum, Oxlade-Chamberlain, Solanke, Henderson.

1.48pm BST

The first email of the day!

“Glad to learn that Oldham Athletic are also in action!” says Michael Lavin. “Ooo Rogert Palmer.”

1.38pm BST

Bayern v Mainz 05 team news

Bayern Munich (4-2-3-1) Neuer; Kimmich, Boateng, Hummels, Rafinha; Vidal, Thiago; Robben, Müller, Coman; Lewandowski.
Substitutes: Ulreich, Sule, Ribery, Martinez, James, Rudy, Tolisso.

10.24am BST

Hello. It’s Saturday! It’s the afternoon! It’s Clockwatch o’clock! Whether you prefer to watch the clock or clock the watch, this is the place for you. (This or one of the 427 other clockwatches available on the information superhighway, but let’s not dwell on that.) There are some cracking fixtures around Europe, the pick of which is in dear old Hertfordshire. Watford and Manchester City, two of the three remaining unbeaten sides in the Premier League, meet at Vicarage Road. If Watford win they will go top of the top division for only the second time in their history and the first since, of course, 1982.

What else? Principle Cole, I’ll show you what else. Liverpool may or may not take the frustration of a bad week out on Burnley, while Huddersfield can move back into the top four with a win over Leicester. Celtic, Barcelona, Bayern, Internazionale and Oldham Athletic are also in action.

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Published on September 16, 2017 09:09

September 9, 2017

England v West Indies: third Test, day three - as it happened

The majestic James Anderson took career-best figures of seven for 42 as England won the series with a comfortable nine-wicket victory at Lord’s

4.19pm BST

That’s a good win for England, who recovered well from the shock of losing at Headingley to win their second series of the summer. West Indies will take a lot from this series, and they have a potential superstar in Shai Hope. England still have questions going into the Ashes series but Joe Root has become the first Englishman since Bob Willis to win his first two series as full-time captain. Thanks for your company throughout a very enjoyable Test-match summer. We’ll be back for some white-ball fun over the next few weeks. Bye!

4.15pm BST

28 overs: England 107-1 (Stoneman 40, Westley 44) Stoneman hits the winning runs, sweeping Bishoo for two, and England have won!

4.12pm BST

27th over: England 103-1 (Stoneman 37, Westley 43) Westley takes England to the cusp of victory with two boundaries off Chase. I wonder if the style and confidence of this innings will give him a chance of going on the Ashes tour. I’m not sure he should, just because I can’t see him getting runs against their fast bowlers. He has played really nicely in this innings though.

4.09pm BST

26th over: England 93-1 (Stoneman 37, Westley 33) This is a quiet end to a really entertaining summer’s cricket. The balance between bat and ball has been the best in this country since, what, 2010? I suppose 2013 was pretty good too.

4.06pm BST

25th over: England 92-1 (Stoneman 37, Westley 32) A maiden from Chase to Stoneman.

4.04pm BST

24th over: England 92-1 (Stoneman 37, Westley 32) There’s a nice standing ovation for Henry Blofeld, who has just finished his final stint on Test Match Special. It’s fair to surmise that there will never be another like him. Westley, meanwhile, is hurrying England towards victory. He cuffs Bishoo through midwicket for four more to bring the target down to 15. There are seven minutes until tea. I assume the umpires will play to a conclusion rather than repeat the Sri Lanka farce of 1988.

4.01pm BST

22nd over: England 88-1 (Stoneman 37, Westley 28) Westley brings up the fifty partnership with another handsome extra-cover drive for four. I don’t know whether it’s the freedom of the damned but he has looked much better in this innings.

“Afternoon Rob,” says Simon McMahon. “Think these last two Tests have provided more genuine excitement, entertainment and drama than we could reasonably have expected after Edgbaston. But when all’s said and done, England have flippin’ murdered ‘em 2-1.”

3.59pm BST

21st over: England 80-1 (Stoneman 34, Westley 23) This will be England’s sixh consecutive series win at home to West Indies. They stopped the rot with those stirring 2-2 draws in 1991 and 1995, and since then they’ve won 3-1, 4-0, 3-0, 2-0, 2-0 and now 2-1.

3.56pm BST

20th over: England 80-1 (Stoneman 34, Westley 23) Stoneman squirts Chase through point for a couple. We’re nearly done; England need 27 to win.

3.53pm BST

19th over: England 78-1 (Stoneman 32, Westley 23) “Difficult to concentrate on play with all the screams from sons cheering on their Fantasy League picks,” says Brian Withington. “Really jars to hear goals for Spurs being applauded, regardless of motivation. Never mind moving the transfer window – let’s delay the Premier League start until after completion of Test match programme.”

Or we could just STOP FOOTBALL? Forever?

3.51pm BST

18th over: England 74-1 (Stoneman 30, Westley 21) The offspinner Roston Chase comes into the attack. He came here with a big reputation but has had a poor series, particularly with the bat. Westley moves into the twenties with a confident extra-cover drive for four and then survives a big appeal for caught behind. I think his bat his his pad. England need 33 to win.

3.47pm BST

17th over: England 69-1 (Stoneman 30, Westley 16) A maiden from Bishoo to Stoneman.

3.45pm BST

16th over: England 69-1 (Stoneman 30, Westley 16) The lights are coming on at Lord’s. Tea is half an hour away, so I doubt England will get this done before then. Westley moves them to within 38 of victory with a classy clip to the midwicket boundary.

3.41pm BST

15th over: England 65-1 (Stoneman 30, Westley 12) Stoneman flicks Bishoo for a couple of boundaries. The first was a particularly good shot, worked wristily wide of mid-on.

3.38pm BST

15th over: England 57-1 (Stoneman 22, Westley 12) Clouds are gathering around Lord’s, which could, among other things, jigger my hopes of an early finish. Westley is in no hurry to finish the game, though you can’t blame him for that in the circumstances. He has 12 from 30 balls, Stoneman has 22 from 38.

3.34pm BST

14th over: England 56-1 (Stoneman 22, Westley 12) “Rob et al,” says Andrew Benton. “Tickets from here in Bejing to Adelaide are 600 quid around the secondTtest - is it worth it? Apparently the Aussies haven’t lost a Test at the Gabba since 1988 so it could be the second of a very long series for England. Though I heard it might be a day-night Test, is that confirmed or no?”

Yep, that’s confirmed. It’ll be a great event, though I do worry a bit from an England point of view: Gabbatoir, day-nighter with a Kookaburra, then one last defeat at the Waca in the third Test.

3.31pm BST

13th over: England 55-1 (Stoneman 22, Westley 11) Stoneman pulls Holder this far short of the man at midwicket. He’ll be annoyed if he gets out here because he really should finish this innings with an unbeaten fifty.

3.29pm BST

12th over: England 54-1 (Stoneman 22, Westley 11) “It’s probably been suggested before but if England have Stoneman opening and Root at 4, then bump Stokes, Bairstow, Ali and Woakes up a place, the only issue is who bats at 3 (at 9, they would play Roland-Jones or a spinner depending on conditions)?” says Jeremy Smith. “That quartet are good enough to play at 5, 6, 7 and 8 respectively, so why create more problems than necessary?”

Well, I’d argue England need every extra run they can get, rather than a superfluous sixth bowler, and that it would be like taking a bandage off your bad leg and putting it on your good leg. But we had this argument yesterday and I’m too weary to do it all again.

3.23pm BST

11th over: England 51-1 (Stoneman 21, Westley 8) Stoneman creams Holder through backward point for four to move into the twenties. With England needing a further 56 runs, it’s time for drinks.

3.19pm BST

10th over: England 47-1 (Stoneman 17, Westley 8) A long hop from Bishoo is clouted emphatically for four by Westley. That takes him to eight, the score for which he has been dismissed three times in this series. It’s like Ramps and the terrifying twenties in 1991!

3.16pm BST

9th over: England 40-1 (Stoneman 14, Westley 4) “I largely agree about Stoneman, but a brisk, positive 40 would probably rubber stamp things,” says Guy Hornsby. “Westley, despite a relatively assured start, has stuttered so he’d be most under threat, but I think Malan will go. The alternative is taking a novice or retreating to Ballance. Either way, No3 is the big problem for the Ashes. You have to ask yourselves who the Aussies would want to bowl at? They’d be happy with either, I think. I’d like to shield Hameed, but think he’ll go. What a series it could be.”

3.12pm BST

8th over: England 37-1 (Stoneman 13, Westley 2) Tom Westley, probably playing his final Test innings, gets off the mark with a nice clip off the pads.

“Still think Root should have the courage to move up to No3,” says Paul Frangi. “The way this summer has panned out he has as good as batted there anyway.”

3.08pm BST

Behold! The legspinner Devendra Bishoo strikes with his first ball of the innings, and indeed of the match. It was a textbook legspinner that beat Cook’s defensive stroke to hit the pad just below the knee-roll. It was plumb.

3.06pm BST

7th over: England 35-0 (Cook 17, Stoneman 13) “The ball won’t swing like this in Australia,” says Len Fisher. “But as an Aussie with a 100 per cent betting record, I am sadly backing England to win.”

The first Test is of monumental importance. If England lose that, 5-0 becomes the likeliest result, but if they win it the series could be a classic. I hope it’s 2-2 going to Sydney. Most of us have never seen an Ashes decider in Australia.

3.01pm BST

6th over: England 32-0 (Cook 14, Stoneman 13) This will be the first time since 2013 that England have won both home series, so it’s been a decent first summer for Joe Root as captain. There has been a fair bit of negativity, particularly over the top-order problems, but we would all have taken these resulsts back in June. The positive way of looking at things is that, if England can find even two decent top-order batsmen, they will be a formidable side.

2.57pm BST

5th over: England 29-0 (Cook 11, Stoneman 13) Stoneman hasn’t made a lot of runs in this series but the convincing, positive way he has made them suggests he has a fair chance of making it at Test level. There will be some hot hot heat from Australia’s new-ball bowlers, mind you. Back in the present, Cook survives an LBW appeal from Gabriel - it was going over - and then takes a ludicrous single to backward point. Stoneman would have been out with a direct hit.

2.52pm BST

4th over: England 27-0 (Cook 10, Stoneman 12) Holder replaces Roach, who has left the field with a broken dream. There is no sense of a Trent Bridge 2005-style wobble, with England rushing towards victory. They need a further 80 runs.

“Rob,” says Andrew Benton, “ you’re tweeting from the opposition. Is there one from Rob Bagchi, too?”

2.47pm BST

3rd over: England 23-0 (Cook 7, Stoneman 11) Cook has had a slightly disappointing summer, though his 88 against South Africa at the Oval was arguably the most important innings of the summer. And it has been a pretty tough few months for opening batsmen. You’d still back him to get plenty of runs in Australia. He gets his first boundary here with a nice cover drive off Gabriel. West Indies know this is over, but they should be pretty proud of their performance in this series.

2.44pm BST

2nd over: England 16-0 (Cook 0, Stoneman 11) This is impressive stuff from Stoneman. He drives Kemar Roach’s first delivery crisply through the covers for four, which makes it 11 runs from his first five balls. It’s a loose first over from Roach, though he finds his range with the last ball, a good one that straightens past the outside edge.

Joe Root will have to go some to beat AB de Villiers record of scoring 50 in 12 consecutive Tests. England need 107 after Jimmy's cb of 7-42

2.39pm BST

1st over: England 12-0 (Cook 0, Stoneman 7) Shannon Gabriel starts the innings with a lamentable delivery that slides down the leg side for four byes, and follows it with a cracker that leads to a big appeal against Cook. Chris Gaffaney says not out, probably because of height, and West Indies don’t review. Replays suggest there was a thin outside edge onto pad, even though the run was given as a leg-bye.

This is an eventful first over. Stoneman drives his first delivery sweetly through mid-on for four and works three more to deep backwaard square. It would be lovely if he established himself because his attacking approach is just what England need in the top three.

2.31pm BST

Thanks Will, hello everyone. This should be a doddle for England, so most eyes will be on Mark Stoneman and Tom Westley. In truth, I think we already know what’s what. Stoneman shouldn’t be dropped after three Tests, even if he gets a first-baller here. Westley, if he gets in, can’t really win; a nice 40 not out probably won’t be enough to get him on the Ashes tour. I suspect the top six at the Gabba will be Cook, Stoneman, Ballance or Hameed, Root, Malan and Stokes.

This will be the first Test since 2007 in which none of the four innings pass 200.

2.26pm BST

Magnificent stuff from James Anderson. He has 506 wickets, and nine in this match.

As a result, England need 107 to win. For the chase, I’m handing over to Rob Smyth. Send him your love. Bye!

2.24pm BST

Test best for Jimmy! 7-42! Previous best was 7-43. He’s bowled Roach with a beauty, and England need 107 to win the Test match. What a bowler.

2.22pm BST

65th over: West Indies 177-9 (Roach 3, Gabriel 0) Gabriel is a bad batsman, and he’s on his king pair. Oh my he’s been given out first ball by Marais Erasmus! Caught behind, but it never quite looked out. He reviews, and it’s overturned. He’s not out. So he’s off his king pair! He uses his reprieve to slightly surprisingly make it through the maiden over.

2.17pm BST

Holder stole the strike, but it mattered not. Broad is bowling quickly, and this one gets up in Holder’s grill(e), as he tries to pull. All he can do is dolly it up to Jimmy at mid-on. Easy.

2.15pm BST

64th over: West Indies 173-8 (Holder 23, Roach 3) Holder clips Jimmy’s inswinger fine to the vacant long-leg region but the bowler’s right on the money, until the last ball, when Holder pinches a single to steal the strike. That’ll frustrate Broad. The lead is 106.

2.11pm BST

63rd over: West Indies 172-8 (Holder 18, Roach 3) A lifter from Broad – a quick one, too, at 88mph – fires off Roach’s elbow and runs away for four leg-byes. That makes the lead 101. There’s an lbw shout, but it’s too high, and maybe going down leg.

2.07pm BST

62nd over: West Indies 168-8 (Holder 18, Roach 3) This over, Jimmy spends three balls just playing around outside off-stump, then the batsman takes one to the man deep on the offside. Odd position. Anyway, Roach gets one through square-leg next.

Romeo calls for caution over potential chases: “I saw West Indies bowl out England for 46 in Port of Spain. (Not done yet.) It was the best day’s cricket I’ve ever seen (apart from the MCC-Afghanistan match in July).”

2.02pm BST

61st over: West Indies 166-8 (Holder 17, Roach 2) Batting today is easier against Broad than Anderson. Roach takes a single, then Holder plays a lovely cover drive for four. I wonder if he should be batting at least a place higher in this team. A brilliant bit of fielding from Stoneman at wide mid-off prevents another driven four. They get one.

Matthew Doherty asks: “Are you sure that it’s not Stuart Broad bowling in a Jimmy mask?” He’s certainly had his tail up in that very Broadish way today.

1.58pm BST

60th over: West Indies 160-8 (Holder 12, Roach 1) So Jimmy is very much on for a Test best here. That is currently seven for 43. By the end of the over – which sees Roach take one and Holder guide four through backward-point – his figures are six for 35. The lead is 89.

1.54pm BST

Stack the cordon for Bishoo the leftie, then. Jimmy going round the wicket, and bowls him second ball! Jimmy has six for 30! This could be over very soon!

1.52pm BST

That’s brilliant from Jimmy. Just brilliant, and he has five! Honing in on Hope’s off-stump, then just taking it away a touch. Has to play, gets the nibble and Bairstow does the rest.

17.1-5-30-5 are Jimmy’s figures right now.

1.50pm BST

59th over: West Indies 155-6 (S.Hope 62, Holder 8) Hope is batting like a chap who wants his name on the honours board. He takes a single off Broad. The over ends with a massive waft outside off for Holder, but he doesn’t quite hit it. Bairstow and Cook are racing each other between overs, which is good for the over-rate. Bairstow is much quicker.

1.45pm BST

58th over: West Indies 154-6 (S.Hope 61, Holder 8) Shai Hope gets us moving in the afternoon with a nudge to leg for one, then Anderson goes straight through Holder! Well bowled. Two slips and two catching covers in, which is fun. After a couple that come into him, Jimmy takes one away because that is what he does. It beats Holder, obvs.

Good areas from Paul Metcalfe: “Recalling the old chestnut about the Englishman who causd much mirth and merriment in Spain by touring the country with his name C.O. Jones writ large on his suitcase, I would like to suggest that Toby Roland-Jones should be known forthwith as Trojones.”

1.41pm BST

Apparently there was a shower in NW8 in the lunchbreak. Not here in Kings Cross! Anyway, they are out after lunch. Jimmy, unsurprisingly, to bowl from the Nursery End.

1.35pm BST

Right, we are about five minutes from resumption.

1.31pm BST

As Romeo points out in my inbox, this wonderful video goes very nicely with Barney’s piece.

1.24pm BST

Cracking feature on Sky at the mo on the decline of Afro-Caribbean cricket in the UK. Which brings us to this...

1.06pm BST

Right, that’s the break then. Enjoy your sandwiches, or whatever else you’re having. Before I pop out for my own, Brian Withington leaves me something to ponder:

A question of my own - who are today’s candidates for celebrity spot of the day amongst the Lords crowd? Categories should perhaps include “most nationally treasurable” as well as “most deserving of a stray 6 in the lap”. I think Gary Naylor’s brother covered off the latter category yesterday (Dante’s seventh circle would not be hot enough in my book, but it’s a game of opinion).

1.03pm BST

57th over: West Indies 153-6 (S.Hope 60, Holder 8) Well, well, well. What do I know? It’s not Toby Roland-Jones to bowl that over, it’s the skipper, golden arm himself Joe Root. He finds Hope’s edge first ball, and it runs away for two. A drive brings one, then Holder is dropped with the last ball before lunch! He drives hard and there’s a second slip, Cook! It goes very hard to him and perhaps hits him on the shin! Would have been a beauty. They scamper a couple.

Anyway, lunch. And a nice thought to take us there.

Imagine Shai Hope and Darren Bravo both on song and batting together. Hope it happens at some point in the future. @willis_macp

12.59pm BST

56th over: West Indies 148-6 (S.Hope 57, Holder 6) Mo gets through a quick one that features just one single, and we will have one more from Toby at the Pavilion End. No turn for Mo.

12.56pm BST

55th over: West Indies 147-6 (S.Hope 56, Holder 6) Either two or three overs before lunch, depending on England’s promptness. I’d be rushing through them, because one more wicket before lunch would really fix things neatly. RoJo keeps the pressure up with a maiden to Holder.

James writes: “On the subject of islands playing cricket, folk might be interested* to know that Jersey are playing the final of the World Cricket League division 5. If they go all the way through the divisions, they could get to the World Cup ... in 2023. It’s a long process, even Straussy would struggle to be already planning for 2023. Anyway, Jersey now have to restrict the might of Vanuatu to under 257.

12.52pm BST

54th over: West Indies 147-6 (S.Hope 56, Holder 6) Moeen time! Some spin! First ball beats Holder outside off and Bairstow takes the bails off. No turn there. Next is handsomely cover-driven and beats the man in the deep for four! Shot! He misses a big drive later in the over, and Jimmy is right in the game at slip. Single to long-on gives Hope one ball to negotiate. He does. Saqlain and Mason Crane are wandering round to the Nursery for a net.

Kim Thonger writes: “My wife and I are sitting in the Grandstand and to while away the dot balls we’ve done a survey of the advertising hoardings and concluded that 24.3% of the adverts are for beer. Does this mean the average cricket fan thinks about beer almost a quarter of the time, or is it marketing people who think that way. Or possibly both. Anyway she’s gone to buy me beer now mainly to avoid further statistical analysis.”

12.47pm BST

53rd over: West Indies 142-6 (S.Hope 56, Holder 1) 50 for Shai Hope! Lovely shot. He’s turned Roland-Jones through wide mid-on for a beautifully timed four. That’s his eighth boundary, from his 127th four. He gets four more through backward point. Uppish, but well-placed. Class act, Hope.

Shannon Gabriel is sitting on the balcony with a towel on his head.

12.43pm BST

52nd over: West Indies 134-6 (S.Hope 48, Holder 1) Stokes gets just two slips, compared to Tobes’ four. Hope cover drives beautifully for four to move to 47, then turns round the corner for one. That was Hope’s first boundary of the day, off his 54th ball. Holder pats back the rest, and Stokes is grimacing as he bowls so he’s going off.

Millsy writes: “I’m not sure any of the current truncated monikers for Toby Roland-Jones really works, so could I urge you to use Toblerone instead? It’s basically what my brain hears every time Michael Vaughan says his name.”

12.38pm BST

51st over: West Indies 129-6 (S.Hope 43, Holder 1) Rojo bowls a maiden to Holder, with four slips waiting. The lead is 58.

Brian Withington writes: “Not content with exploring Bertrand Russell-esque paradoxes earlier in the match, Ian Copestake now challenges us with a further examination of set theory with his 46th-over poser. I think he is seeking the supremum of the subset of English second innings scores that are in a losing cause. I am currently wrestling with whether this is also one (or more) less than the infimum of the subset of winning scores.

12.34pm BST

50th over: West Indies 129-6 (S.Hope 43, Holder 1) After a couple of balls of Stokes’ over, England have a moan about the ball. Umps have a look, but they are not interested. Hope then turns it off his hip – literally, actually, it’s leg byes – for four down to fine leg. Bairstow and Mo chase, but no dice. Those are the over’s only runs.

Adam Roberts raises a damned good point: “Root’s not going to get the chance to keep his 50 streak going at this rate.”

WICKET - Dowrich departs & Windies 123-6

Follow LIVE: https://t.co/Cyyqfe6dy6 pic.twitter.com/BwMEA2tcd4

12.29pm BST

49th over: West Indies 125-6 (S.Hope 43, Holder 1) So the skipper is in with a proper job (not the Cornish beer) on his hands. He makes the lead 53 by turning his first ball to leg for one. Hope turns to leg for one, then Rojo beats Holder outside off to end the over.

@willis_macp Re Anthony Farmer email - & we're happy to see new people posting BTL @ CC Live! Just 'pop in', say hi & get a Dolly sandwich

12.26pm BST

Broad finally takes one! Marcos Rojo digs one in, Dowrich can’t resist and gets a top edge on a pull. It loops up to mid-on and the catch could barely be simpler.

12.22pm BST

48th over: West Indies 123-5 (S.Hope 42, Dowrich 14) This Stokes over is a quiet one, including two singles, the second of which comes from a misfield from Jimmy at gully.

A great email from Tom Bowtell. Properly great.

12.18pm BST

47th over: West Indies 121-5 (S.Hope 41, Dowrich 13) ToRoJo is on! I boldly predicted that he would take at least four of the wickets today. Well, there are five left. Shane Warne uses his arrival, literally before he’s bowled a blooming ball, to suggest Root should bring the spinner on. Anyway, Rojo cares not, and bowls five dot balls to Dowrich, who whacks the final ball for four on the pull. The lead is 50.

Brian Withington has a solution to a tricky tester: “I think we may have found our opener for the Ashes series,” he crows. “Clear and decisive when asked the probing questions - the Aussie attack should pose no problem whichever (E/)end they are bowling from. Nick Wiltsher (over 42) should be measured up now for his tour blazer - a nation expects.”

12.13pm BST

46th over: West Indies 117-5 (S.Hope 41, Dowrich 9) After 59 minutes, we have our first convincing boundary of the day! It’s Stokes’s first ball, and it’s a loosener of a half-volley that Dowrich eases through the covers for four. The lead is 45, and it’s still 46 by the over’s end as Dowrich takes one to deep square.

Ian Copestake writes: “I am all about the positives, so what do you think the lowest score is that England could still fail to get?” I reckon their first innings total: 194. Root won’t fail twice in the game, because he never does.

12.09pm BST

45th over: West Indies 112-5 (S.Hope 41, Dowrich 4) Great celebrappeal in this Broad over. It’s for lbw against Hope, as it nips back, but it’s way too high. Broad might be the only human on the planet who thinks that’s out, and he literally can’t understand what’s wrong with it. In fact, there was nothing right with it.

Geoff emails. “Referencing your 37th over selections, would you have either Livingstone or Hales in the Lions squad? If not, why not?” he asks. “And what would you do about Buttler? Personally I’d have one of Hales or Buttler in Australia, just for fun: but you see a lot of the county game so do you think any of thre three can/ will make it with the red ball?”

12.01pm BST

44th over: West Indies 112-5 (S.Hope 41, Dowrich 4) Jimmy drags one down to get Hope off strike – he takes a pulled single to deep midwicket. This is surely the last over of his spell. He has five balls at Dowrich, who is all at sea, but still there. He gets off the mark with the day’s first boundary off the bat, but it’s not pretty, and edge through gully, which Bairstow chases all the way to third man. In vain.

Anthony Farmer emails: “Re. the curious use of the asterisk in Romeo’s email (Over 35). I know that scoring might be a tad slow this morning but I don’t think onanism is the answer.”

11.58am BST

43rd over: West Indies 107-5 (S.Hope 40, Dowrich 0) Broad bowls his fourth maiden of the day. The penultimate ball would have been caught by a short-leg, as it bounces nicely and takes Dowrich’s inside edge and pad. And the last ball sees the second drop of the morning! It’s Broad again, with an incredibly tough caught and bowled chance. The bat turned in Dowrich’s hand, and he scuffs it back, a fair way to Broad’s left. He gets a hand to it, but turns it round the corner like a goalkeeper. Much harder than Broad’s drop at mid-off earlier.

Simon McMahon writes: “Morning Will, morning everyone. This is going to be over today, isn’t it? Can’t beat a low scoring, three day Test match. And it has an added bonus of meaning time tomorrow for ‘family stuff’, right? Right?”

11.52am BST

42nd over: West Indies 107-5 (S.Hope 40, Dowrich 0) Jimmy has four for 22, and would love to make Hope, the prize wicket, his fifth. He squares him up a touch, and the leading edge squirts past Stoneman, who is at a catching short mid-off sort of position, for two. Otherwise it’s all rather uneventful, the usual probing around fourth stump with the bowler in charge.

Nick Wiltsher emails with an answer to my Ends/ends debate. And he’s talking sense.

I would say this: if it’s an official designation, cap up; if it’s just a descriptive reference, lower case. So, with the example you were wondering about: if the official actual name is Pavilion End, then it’s “Pavilion End”; if that’s just a phrase you’re using to refer to that end where the pavilion is, then it’s “pavilion end”. In no case is it “Pavilion end”. Think of Derby County’s old stadium. It was the Baseball Ground. If you just want to refer to the some place where people play baseball, that’s the baseball ground. But nowhere is the Baseball ground).

11.48am BST

41st over: West Indies 105-5 (S.Hope 38, Dowrich 0) A boundary! Our first of the day. But it’s off Hope’s pad. Tickled down to fine-leg as Broad loses his line. Hope takes a single to deep square, then Dowrich leaves one.

Morning Stuie!

@willis_macp morning will just sneaky on at work need more wkts

11.44am BST

40th over: West Indies 100-5 (S.Hope 37, Dowrich 0) Shane Dowrich in. He’s looked a little bit pony this summer but there’s enough there to work with, clearly. He plays out a wicket maiden.

Smyth’s in my inbox with a belting stat: Jimmy has averaged 15 with the ball in each of the last two summers, the lowest of his career in a home summer. He’s got 36 at 14.72 this summer. Mad.

11.41am BST

Blackwood’s was an eventful little innings – drop, review, slog – but it’s over now! Anderson gets one to leave him, and he follows it on the back foot, getting a nick through to Bairstow! He doesn’t drop them (these days!). Windies are 7 for 2 this morning. The lead is 29.

11.37am BST

39th over: West Indies 100-4 (S.Hope 37, Blackwood 5) Anyway, good comeback from Broad, who beats Blackwood outside off. A hoick brings one as Broad goes fuller. 100 up. Defends the last.

11.36am BST

Broad finally concedes a run this morning, after 19 balls. Hope gets one into the legside, and I don’t think either England bowler will mind having a look at the other batsman. And so it proves! Broad pins Blackwood on the pad, in front of all three and up goes the finger! Blackwood reviews straight away ... and there’s a tiny inside edge. He survives!

11.31am BST

38th over: West Indies 98-4 (S.Hope 36, Blackwood 4) Good from Jimmy, good from Blackwood, who reins himself in – for now at least – and pats back a maiden.

Guy Hornsby emails!

<Richie Voice> Morning Will, morning everyone </Richie Voice> Currently enjoying the OBO from the comfort of my sofa, new baby daughter getting her first mention at 10 days old yesterday, so her life goals are already complete. What a day for Jimmy yesterday, and it’s incredible to see he’s still improving. His stats since turning 30 are astonishing, and his 501st was one of his best ever: he had the ball on a string. What will we do when he’s gone? Sod the Queen, we may need a period of national mourning, with highlight reels on 24/7 to soothe the country’s abyss of cricketing grief.

11.28am BST

37th over: West Indies 98-4 (S.Hope 36, Blackwood 4) This is Broad’s third straight maiden this morning, but it doesn’t desperately trouble Hope, who is blessed with patience that Blackwood will never possess.

Tough question, this. But I think I decided this week that Hameed is in my Ashes squad. So are Crane, Wood and Foakes. Lions, I’d take in no particular order: Helm, Porter, Coverton, Bess, J.Clarke, Alex Davies, probably Ed Barnard.

@willis_macp Probably last day of last summer Test. C'mon Will, who gets on a plane this winter in your book. Test & Lions teams

11.23am BST

36th over: West Indies 98-4 (S.Hope 36, Blackwood 4) West Indies play their second scoring shot of the morning! A Blackwood leading edge skids through point and he’s off the mark with two. Next ball there’s a howling, minging, hanging drop! Blackwood plays a horrible heave of a drive, and it goes in the air to Broad at mid-off, and he shells a pretty regulation chance that he managed to make almost impossible. He hammers the turf. Athers says that’s the 24th drop of the series, and he’s almost always right. That was the original ‘bad cricket all round’.

11.19am BST

35th over: West Indies 94-4 (S.Hope 36, Blackwood 0) In this Broad maiden, there’s an appeal for lbw as one jags back at Hope and hits his pad. Never out, but Broad appeals obvs. It’s high and down the legside. England have no reviews left anyway.

Romeo emails: “Will, I’m curious as to where you’re w**king from today. I know Adam Collins did some of the last Bangladesh-Australia game from the ground, but that ‘s a bit unusual isn’t it? So are you a) there, b) at the office c) at home or d) somewhere else?”

11.14am BST

34th over: West Indies 94-4 (S.Hope 36, Blackwood 0) Oooph. Blackwood, who doesn’t strike me as the sort of soul who much likes being on 0, tries to turn Jimmy to leg, and gets a leading edge that loops up into the offside, and just evades Broad at mid-on. Later in the over he’s beaten all ends up outside off. He’s patient Blackwood, and plays out perhaps the first maiden of his career. He’s 0 off eight, and surely there’s a fat shot coming.

“Gary Naylor’s brother,” writes Ian Copestake, “is in a good position to save his country’s future.”

The first wicket of the day! Chase caught behind off Jimmy.

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11.10am BST

33rd over: West Indies 94-4 (S.Hope 36, Blackwood 0) So much rests on Shai Hope here. He’s facing Broad, who gets a go from the Pavilion End. Never sure whether to capitalise the names of ends. Or Ends. Anyway. Hope defends, then edges with very soft hands to Root at second slip. All along the carpet. Hope plays out the rest of a maiden that felt like it was just always going to be a maiden.

Poor Gary’s brother deserves his money back.

My brother's view at Lord's yesterday - pic.twitter.com/jYWZI7wIoa

11.06am BST

32nd over: West Indies 94-4 (S.Hope 36, Blackwood 0) What a start. Blackwood is in, which will be fun. His first ball is down the legside, he has a swing and a miss and England unsuccessfully appeal for the strangle. He defends the next like an adult.

Will Hargreaves gets in touch to say Tres is also his all-time fave, while Dave Langlois riffs on the great man: “Who could disagree about Trescothick?” he asks. “His book ‘Coming Back to Me’ is one of the greatest sporting reads ever with an overwhelming human content. Most other sporting books have spoken about the human spirit in some sense but this one nails it.”

11.03am BST

First over of the day and Jimmy’s done the trick! Shai Hope gets himself off strike early in the over, then Chase just prods outside off, gets the edge and he’s gawwwwnnnnn!

11.00am BST

Right, cricketers on the field. Here goes! Jimmy from the Nursery End...

10.57am BST

A question from Richard McKeary.

Here’s something to mull over. Why have umpires become so much more lenient with regards to ‘bad’ light - or, rather, light conditions when the natural light is all but gone and the floodlights have taken over. Last night at Lord’s they were playing in practically nighttime conditions. I’m sure in the recent past in those conditions it was considered too dangerous and the red ball was deemed too difficult to see. Abu Dhabi and the Ashes test at the Oval are two tests I remember where play was farcically stopped due to ‘poor’ light.

10.48am BST

This Trescothick masterclass is superb on playing spin, and particularly sweeping.

10.41am BST

Could go until 7 tonight.

98 overs scheduled at Lord's today
11.00 to 1.00
1.40 to 4.10
4.30 to 6.30 (plus 30 mins for slow over-rates)

10.36am BST

Marcus Trescothick is on Sky reminiscing about his early days in Test cricket, against the Windies 17 years ago. Some of my first memories of the game, that series. I went to the Lord’s Test actually. Might have been my dayboo.

Mad to think, then, that I watched Trescothick play yesterday. He made his 65th first-class ton this week and, as a result, his beloved Somerset have a decent chance of survival in Division One. Wonderfully, he was fielding short leg as they secured their victory over Warwickshire. Just a great man, and perhaps my favourite ever.

10.33am BST

Lots of chatter about Jimmy’s running-on-the-pitch issues. Needs to be careful, as he’s on his final warning. Know what I reckon? I think it’s Big Toby’s day. Roland-Jones is a man who knows a thing or two about bowling at Lord’s in conditions suited to batsman. He’ll get at least four of the last seven.

Anyway, Brad McMillan reckons I’m thirsty.

If you’re anything like me, it sounds like you have plans tonight which could jeopardise your ability to clearly think tomorrow morning if you’re already considering whether the match will still be going?

Anyway, my bold prediction from the fence, if we don’t bowl them out before lunch today, we’ll see play on Monday, never mind tomorrow.

10.26am BST

Sir Richard emails! He’s got the TMS overseas link for Dave Langlois, and he says it’s working!

10.26am BST

Stuart Law is talking to Athers on Sky. Law is a hilarious man. I once interviewed him over the phone in Australia about the great moments of his great career, many of which, of course, came in county cricket.

It had all been very friendly and convivial as I waxed his ego about how good he was at batting. But we had spoken briefly about his fractious relationship with Nasser at Essex and this had obviously stoked the fire in his belly a touch, ao as I was signing off the call, from nowhere he just shouts: “tell your mate Nasser he’s a [insert word far too naughty for a family-friendly OBO]!!!!”

10.21am BST

Dave Langlois wins the race to my inbox!

Suprised to hear your co-commentator say towards the end of yesterday’s play that he still puts England as favourties. Their last-innings chase record is dire! The Windies have a younger, more gung-ho approach and if they get a lead of about 150 the England collapse is odds-on.

Also, any fellow listener found an overseas TMS link that works today? Today’s TMS twitter link doesn’t. Yesterday they didn’t even post one.

10.18am BST

You can contact me, by the way. Tell me what you’re up to on this fine Saturday morning, or tell me when this Test will end (will it make it to my OBO shift this time tomorrow?), or tell me your favourite memories of the great Jim.

For pithy ideas, get me at @willis_macp on the Twitters. For longer thoughts, slide into my inbox at the utterly cumbersome will.macpherson.freelance@theguardian.com.

8.27pm BST

Well, good morning. There’s been a bit of conjecture about the timing of this Test – in September? At Lord’s? – but right now London’s skies are blue, the air is warm and it feels like summer at its highest. Just a delight. Is this the start of an Indian summer? Let’s hope so. We damned well deserve it after a filthy August like that. I’m Will Macpherson and I’m here to guide you through the first half of the day, at which point I’ll hand over to the great Rob Smyth.

So, Jimmy Anderson 501, eh? Always did love his arrers, the great man. What an achievement 500 is (stumps flying on a Friday afternoon at Lord’s – how good?), and what a ball to get rid of Kieron Powell, the 501st. So good it’s actually hard to describe, but I’ll try: slanting in, pitching on middle from round the wicket and hooping away from the left-hander’s defence and taking the top of off. What a bowler.

Wicket 501 & what a beauty! Windies 69-3

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Published on September 09, 2017 08:19

September 8, 2017

England v West Indies, third Test, day two – as it happened

West Indies finished an excellent day’s play on 93 for three, a lead of 22, after the great James Anderson became the first Englishman to take 500 Test wickets

9.15pm BST

8.43pm BST

Vic Marks’s day two report from Lord’s

7.34pm BST

31st over: West Indies 93-3 (S Hope 35, Chase 3) England crowd Chase for the final over of the day, with four slips, a gully, short leg and leg slip. It’s not a great over, however, and Chase survives comfortably. The West Indies will lead by 22 overnight after another fascinating day, in which James Anderson took his 500th Test wicket and then got in a rare old huff. Thanks for your company, goodnight.

7.29pm BST

30th over: West Indies 93-3 (S Hope 35, Chase 3) Anderson has changed ends. He should be able to get off the pitch easier, because of the slope, and he’s no longer at Marais Erasmus’s end. His first delivery is a nasty lifter that Hope deals with beautifully, softening his hands to drop it short of gully. There should be time for one last over.

7.25pm BST

29th over: West Indies 93-3 (S Hope 35, Chase 3) Anderson is still moaning at Erasmus. I’m not sure why, because replays show he was running on the pitch. The umpiring in this game has been almost perfect. Anyway, Anderson’s been replaced by Stuart Broad, a sensible decision from Root. He probably wasn’t expecting to bowl, and his first delivery is a wide loosener that Hope slams square on the off side for four. It’s increasingly hard not to get carried away about how good he could be. He’s almost comically calm. If you drop a marmot in the bath his heart wouldn’t skip a beat.

7.21pm BST

28th over: West Indies 88-3 (S Hope 30, Chase 3) Shai Hope plays another sizzling drive between extra cover and mid off for four. England have lost their discipline in the last 15 minutes and, while I still think they’ll win this game, it’s a lot closer than most people think.

7.18pm BST

27th over: West Indies 81-3 (S Hope 23, Chase 3) Anderson is still going into the danger zone in his followthrough, and could easily be pulled out of the attack. Erasmus has another chat with him at the end of the over. It’s excellent umpiring, fair and quietly authoritative.

7.16pm BST

Anderson has been given a second warning by Marais Erasmus. One more and he can’t bowl in the innings. From the next ball, Erasmus turns down a big LBW appeal when Chase pushes around an inswinger. Anderson immediately turns away in disgust. I thought it was swinging past leg stump, but Joe Root has decided to risk England’s last review. Yes, it’s missing the leg stump by a fair distance. That’s a shocking review from England.

7.14pm BST

26th over: West Indies 79-3 (S Hope 23, Chase 1) West Indies lead by eight runs. There are 17 minutes left before the close of play. If England don’t get another wicket tonight they might be in a little bit of trouble over the weekend.

7.09pm BST

Shai Hope falls over a big inswinger from Stokes and is hit on the pad, prompting a huge appeal for LBW. Chris Gaffaney says not out and England review. Replays show it did too much and would have missed the stumps both on height and line. More terrific umpiring from Gaffaney, who has had a magnificent match.

7.07pm BST

25th over: West Indies 77-3 (S Hope 21, Chase 1) One of the interesting things about Anderson is that in the last two years he averages 19 with the ball. That would be outstanding at any age, never mind as you approach your mid-30s. Hope inside edges him just wide of leg stump for four, and then Anderson is warned for stepping on the danger area in his follow through. Anderson, the loveable grump, takes it as well as you might expect, chuntering to everyone and no one as he strides off at the end of the over.

7.02pm BST

24th over: West Indies 72-3 (S Hope 16, Chase 1) Ben Stokes is dispensing unpleasantries at Roston Chase, who was similarly vocal during Stuart Broad’s innings. Shai Hope, the man on strike, calmly takes a single off the last ball to keep strike.

6.57pm BST

23rd over: West Indies 69-3 (S Hope 14, Chase 0) Powell played so well, but that delivery was the definition of unplayable. The new batsman Roston Chase survives a big appeal first ball for a strangle down the leg side. England don’t review, and replays confirm it hit him on the thigh.

As a big darts player, Jimmy was always going to make 501 one of his best

6.54pm BST

James Anderson strikes with the fourth ball of a new spell! That is a quite stunning delivery. It angled in from around the wicket, turned Powell round and then straightened like an off-break to trim the off bail.

6.51pm BST

22nd over: West Indies 65-2 (Powell 41, S Hope 14) Hope reaches to push-drive Stokes through extra cover for four. An affronted Stokes rams consecutive bouncers past the head of Hope, who then steers four more to third man. Excellent stuff from both men.

“How about Alan Oakman?” says David Murfin. “Wiki entry includes ‘his telescopic skill as a close fielder snared him five catches in Jim Laker’s famous 19 wicket haul at Old Trafford, and totalled 594 catches in his career’.”

6.46pm BST

21st over: West Indies 57-2 (Powell 41, S Hope 6) Anderson is getting loose, presumably to replace Roland-Jones at this end. West Indies look comfortable at the moment and have reduced the deficit to 14.

6.42pm BST

20th over: West Indies 55-2 (Powell 40, S Hope 6) Hope repels a booming inswinger from Stokes. The ball hasn’t done quite as much as it did yesterday, when Stokes got swing that we are contractually obliged to describe as “lavish”. Hope only has six from 32 balls but he looks excellent again. How on earth did he have a Test average of 19 before Headingley? Everything about him, from his demanour to his cover drive, suggests potential greatness.

6.40pm BST

19th over: West Indies 51-2 (Powell 40, S Hope 6) Two more boundaries to Powell, both through the covers off Roland-Jones. The first was a tremendous drive. My colleague Tim de Lisle points out that he is approaching his first Test fifty since November 2012.

Meanwhile, thanks to Brian Withington this clip of Roger Harper’s futuristic fielding.

6.35pm BST

18th over: West Indies 43-2 (Powell 32, S Hope 6) Powell thick-edges Stokes for four. It’s really dark at Lord’s now, a lovely time to bowl; as such 43 for two is a really good effort from the West Indies. I’m surprised you can still get odds of 8/1 on a Windies victory.

“Besides Roger Harper, surely Jonty Rhodes owed at least some of his Test appearances to his fielding?” wonders Geoff Wignall. “I’m struggling to think of any English examples though. It wasn’t enough for Randall to hold down his place and he was truly outstanding in the field.”

6.29pm BST

17th over: West Indies 38-2 (Powell 27, S Hope 6) Roland-Jones has a biggish LBW appeal agianst Shai Hope turned down on the not unreasonable grounds that there was a big inside edge. Powell and Hope have to cope with that horrible combination of attacking fields and a broken scoreboard. You don’t know where your next run is coming from and you feel like your wicket is under threat all the time. After 16 consecutive dot balls, Hope drives sweetly through the covers for four.

“There is a precedent for knighting a cricketer while he’s still playing,” notes John Starbuck. “Sir Richard Hadlee.”

6.17pm BST

15th over: West Indies 34-2 (Powell 27, S Hope 2) Shai Hope looks calm and composed, this being a weekday, and plays out a maiden from Roland-Jones. Time for drinks.

“TMS reckon Broad has had five dropped just in this series,” says John Starbuck. “You can account for some by the amount of poor light they’ve had to put up with sometimes, not to mention the pink ball, but I don’t think any of the newer crowd has made his mark as a fielder. There’s usually one or two, but the last was probably Mark Wood. Could being a very good fielder swing it for anyone’s selection?”

6.14pm BST

14th over: West Indies 34-2 (Powell 27, S Hope 2) Ben Stokes replaces Stuart Broad. Powell survives the hat-trick ball, Stokes having taken wickets with his last two deliveries of the first innings. There is immediate swing, however, which is extremely good news for England.

“Interesting, the ‘Sir James’ thing,” says Richard Morris. “Very unlikely to happen. Only 10 Englishmen ever knighted for services to Cricket, last was Bedser in 1996. Even Botham wasn’t - he was knighted for services to Charity. Best pull on the walking boots if Jimmy wants a trip to the Palace.”

6.09pm BST

13th over: West Indies 30-2 (Powell 23, S Hope 2) It was in the summer of 2010 that Jimmy really started to move towards greatness. In the first seven years of his Test career he took 156 wickets at 34.81; in the seven and a half years since he’s picked up 344 at 24.39. His record is much better at home, but that shouldn’t obscure some mighty spells in the landmark series victories in Australia (2010-11) and India (2012-13), not to mention some ridiculous performances in the UAE. He made himself into a great all-weather bowler.

6.04pm BST

12th over: West Indies 30-2 (Powell 23, S Hope 2) Powell swivel-pulls Broad majestically for four, one of the shots of the day. It might be time for Stokes at that end.

“My hunch is that they will attempt to fix one problem by breaking something that’s working very well and move Moeen up to number three, allowing them to bring in Mason Crane,” says Matt Emerson. “It’s a terrible idea, which is why it appeals...”

6.01pm BST

11th over: West Indies 25-2 (Powell 19, S Hope 1) There are still 29 overs remaining tonight, though I doubt we’ll get them all. Toby Roland-Jones comes on to replace the future Sir James Anderson and has an instant impact: Powell toe-ends one short of the slips before being beaten by a kicking leg-cutter. It’ll be fascinating to see how Roland-Jones does in Australia; Gus Fraser struggled there, certainly after his hip injury, apart from one magical day on a juiced-up wicket at Sydney.

An interesting tweet here from Tim. My first thought was Pietersen, though I feel slightly dirty saying that given Anderson’s superior artistry.

When we talk about crowd-pleasers, the batsmen tend to grab the glory. But no #England player has given me more pleasure than #JimmyAnderson

5.54pm BST

10th over: West Indies 21-2 (Powell 15, S Hope 0) “Rob,” says Stephen Kear, “do you have any idea how many wickets Broad has missed out on this summer due to poor English catching? I get the feeling he has missed a hatful which may explain why his stats are not as good as usual.”

Fair point. Seven in this series apparently. I still don’t think he’s been anywhere near his best, though. I suppose it shows how good he is that he can be below par, have loads of catches dropped and still average in the mid-30s for the summer. That said, I think it’s the first time since 2008 that he’s averaged over 30 in an English summer.

5.52pm BST

Broad is rewarded for a really good new-ball spell. Hope drives all around a fine, full-length delivery that comes back through the gate to hit the pad in line with off stump, and Chris Gaffaney raises the finger. Hope reviews - more in his name than expectation - but replays show it was hitting the top of the stumps.

5.47pm BST

9th over: West Indies 20-1 (Powell 15, K Hope 1) An unplayable outswinger from Anderson beats Powell’s defensive poke. There have been a lot of false strokes in this innings, though most have been due to good bowling rather than bad batting. Powell has started to settle down after a dreadful start.

“Why are we picking on Stoneman?” says Simon Thomas. “He’s only played three matches and did OK in the second. He’ll play in the first Test for sure.”

5.43pm BST

8th over: West Indies 17-1 (Powell 12, K Hope 1) Broad is too straight to Powell, who clips him confidently off the pads for four.

5.40pm BST

7th over: West Indies 12-1 (Powell 7, K Hope 1) This is an almighty test for Powell and Hope, with Anderson and Broad bowling majestically in helpful conditions. Hope is beaten again by Anderson. On Sky, Ian Ward points out that, when Brathwaite was bowled, Jonny Bairstow charged to the boundary to retrieve the ball so that Anderson could hold it up to the crowd. That’s a nice touch from a consummate team man.

“I’m not Gaz Baz’s biggest fan, would they take a punt on someone like Sam Robson (oodles of runs) or Nick Gubbins (plays the short ball well)?” says Dean Ainsworth. “In the case of Robson, without a specialist #3, perhaps a spare opener would work, although I’m always reminded of Ian Healy’s second ball sledge to new No3 Mark Butcher in 1998-99...”

5.35pm BST

6th over: West Indies 11-1 (Powell 6, K Hope 1) Broad cuts Hope in half with a cracking delivery, then beats the outside edge next ball. He’s resembling Stuart Broad in this spell, and later in the over he beats the outside edge again with a monstrous legcutter. The lights are still on, which is definitely helping England. If I was a West Indian I’d be pretty hacked off about that.

5.31pm BST

5th over: West Indies 10-1 (Powell 6, K Hope 0) Powell is batting like Stuart Broad. That’s not a compliment, not for an opening batsman. He is beaten at least three times in that Anderson over, once after a quite disgusting yahoo.

5.26pm BST

4th over: West Indies 10-1 (Powell 6, K Hope 0) I’ve seen it all now. Powell edges Broad to gully, where the usually perfect Stokes makes a rare hash of a simple chance. It went straight through his hands to hit him in the chest. Powell then edges a big yahoo just over the slips for four.

5.22pm BST

3rd over: West Indies 6-1 (Powell 0, K Hope 0) That was the last ball of the over. Amid all the excitement, the dismissal of Brathwaite is a big moment in the game.

“You’re suggesting that England can pick a specialist batsman rather than Woakes who would then outscore him by 25 runs per innings?” says Geoff Wignall. “Really? Do you have evidence for this fantasy? Even if the point regards Roland-Jones instead, you’d still need to identify a batsman who’ll be able to average 40+. Who? Also Broad and Anderson, both of whom I expect to play form notwithstanding, have had enough injury problems to make a fifth seamer a handy form of insurance. Though I’d still like to see four seamers and two spinners.”

5.21pm BST

It was a brilliant delivery from Anderson: on a full length and roaring back through to the gate to bowl Brathwaite. He didn’t have to wait long; that was his 12th delivery of the innings It all started here against Zimbabwe 14 years ago, when he was a talented kid with diabolical hair, and now he has 500 Test wickets. By the end of his career, he should have more Test wickets than any fast bowler in history. He’s an old don with a sober haircut these days, an absolute master of his craft whose returns have been better than ever in the last couple of years. All the England balcony are on their feet, and Anderson smiles almost sheepishly as he raises the ball to the crowd.

5.16pm BST

James Anderson becomes the first Englishman to take 500 Test wickets!

5.14pm BST

2nd over: West Indies 5-0 (Brathwaite 4, Powell 1) Stuart Broad starts at the Nursery End. It’s a lovely evening at Lord’s, yet the lights are still on; no idea why. A loose ball is put away for four by Brathwaite.

“Afternoon Rob,” says Simon McMahon. “Re John Withington’s cocktails, I emailed a suggestion yesterday, but, like all of my best work, it wasn’t published. It happened also to be the best cocktail ever invented.”

5.08pm BST

1st over: West Indies 0-0 (Brathwaite 0, Powell 0) Jimmy Anderson, 499 not out, gets a mighty cheer as he prepares to bowl the first over. A tense series decider has temporarily turned into a testimonial. There’s a little bit of early swing, nothing dramatic, and Brathwaite plays out a maiden.

“With grim inevitability, you just know it will be Ballance at No3 in Brisbane,” says Colin Dean. “But surely there’s a stronger case for Alex Hales?”

5.02pm BST

It won’t happen, but I’d give Stokes the new ball - both on merit as a full-length swing bowler, and also to give Broad a rousing boot up the trousers.

4.59pm BST

The Lord’s honours board hat-trick “Colin Noble is correct!” says Michael Bate. “I did say Stokes would be the 4th Englishman to achieve it. Miller is, of course, the only visiting team player to have managed it and Botham the only one to have done it in a single year - 1978 against NZ/Pakistan.”

4.57pm BST

“However we disagree over bowlers and all-rounders from 3 to 9.. .that Broad fella can bat a bit, can’t he?” says David Hindle. “Must have heard Geoff Wignall from a few overs ago!”

This England team is so weird. The tail starts at 2 and ends at 6. Here’s a question for you all: who will (not who should) bat No3 at Brisbane? I haven’t a clue. I don’t think Root will move and Westley won’t be picked. My money’s on, and you’ll like this, Gary Ballance, with Hameed as an outside bet.

4.47pm BST

Broad’s fun comes to an end when he toe-ends another hack through to Dowrich. England lead by 71, having added 60 for the last two wickets. That’s tea. We’ll be back in 15 minutes, when Jimmy Anderson, who has 499 Test wickets, will endeavour to sate the needs of stattos across the globe.

4.41pm BST

52nd over: England 193-9 (Broad 38, Anderson 7) Broad backs away again to slap Roach over backward point for six more! When the Joy of Six: Comedy Slogfests is written, this Broad innings will be a contender. Roach, who has bowled throughout this session, responds with a vicious bouncer that hits Broad on the body. This must be so demoralising for the West Indies, a bit like the dreaded Dave Richardson/Paul Adams stand in another low-scoring series decider at Cape Town in 1996. I’m still not over that.

4.37pm BST

51st over: England 185-9 (Broad 32, Anderson 6) Anderson drives Holder handsomely for four. Shane Warne, commentating on Sky, wonders whether batting is getting easier now that the sun is out. There’s certainly a party atmosphere as Broad and Anderson swing merrily. Broad moves into the thirties with a lusty slap down the ground for three.

“The argument is simple,” says David Hindle. “In the current circumstances, there are no specialist batsmen of sufficient quality available. Hence, Woakes is a better bat than any “specialist” alternative. You are strengthening both A and B, but in a very unorthodox fashion. However, needs must....”

4.33pm BST

50th over: England 177-9 (Broad 29, Anderson 1) Broad backs away to slash Roach over the slips for four, and then he creams him over extra cover for six! This has been an absolutely filthy innings from Broad - and he has more runs than Cook, Root, Stoneman, Moeen and Westley combined. Truly, it’s a funny old game. England lead by 54.

4.30pm BST

49th over: England 164-9 (Broad 16, Anderson 1) “I’m struggling to get on board with the notion that a choice has to be made between Woakes and Roland-Jones for the final seamer’s spot,” says Geoff Wignall. “Surely form dictates that it’s a choice between those two and Broad for two places. Fine bowler for England that Broad has been, he needs to be contributing more than his reputation and a once a season cameo with the bat. I know there’s the argument then when he’s hot he’s very hot, but that only stands up so long as he’s at least generally competent the rest of the time. Too often lately that doesn’t seem the case - batsmen can leave at least half of the balls he delivers, which is inexcusable with the new ball. It’s also the opposite of his own declared approach and intentions.”

He’s had a relatively bad summer, I agree, but he’s the greatest Ashes-winner England have ever had, he gets high on conflict and has unfinished business in Australia. I’d be astonished if he didn’t start.

4.25pm BST

Holder ends the nonsense with the useful wicket of Roland-Jones, who slices a drive straight to Shai Hope in the gully. England lead by 40.

4.23pm BST

48th over: England 163-8 (Roland-Jones 13, Broad 16) “My favourite thing about those Advanced Hair Studio ads is Darren Gough popping up at the end and saying it’s the best thing he’s done,” says Kevin Wilson. “This is a guy who took a hat trick at the SCG.”

And who did this when he was on another hat-trick against Australia.

4.18pm BST

47th over: England 163-8 (Roland-Jones 13, Broad 16) Holder replaces Gabriel. It’s all the same to Broad, who pulls him round the corner for four. These are dangerous moments for the West Indies, who have lost a bit of control since Broad started swinging like Leatherface. The over ends with a good delivery from Holder that is edged just short of the cordon by Roland-Jones.

“My favourite thing about those Advanced Hair Institute ads is Darren Gough popping up at the end and saying it’s the best thing he’s done,” says Kevin Wilson. “This is a guy who took a hat trick at the SCG.”

4.15pm BST

46th over: England 158-8 (Roland-Jones 13, Broad 11) Roland-Jones flashes a confident cut for four off Roach - and then he is dropped by the keeper Dowrich. It was an easy chance to his right, and he is visibly angry with himself. England’s lead is now 35.

“Experiments with Jennings, Stoneman, Westley, Ballance and Malan (did I miss anyone?) have surely proved that they are good at massacring county trundlers, but not fit for Test cricket,” says David Hindle. “And taking any of them to Australia against their current attack in those conditions, would be an act of savage cruelty. We have no more options with the bat. We can put Hameed in. That’s it. Therefore, surely we should play Woakes and TRJ, spread the brutal bowling load, reduce the risk of injury, and see Woakes comfortably outscore any so-called “specialist” bat alternative anyway?”

4.10pm BST

45th over: England 152-8 (Roland-Jones 7, Broad 11) If Broad looks like a walking, hopping, ducking wicket, then Roland-Jones is very comfortable. He pulls smoothly for a single off another Gabriel no-ball, and then Broad - vulnerable but dangerous - belts a couple of boundaries through the covers.

“This really has been an absorbing series, even more astonishing after the first Test blowout,” says Guy Hornsby. “We could lead by 150 or 25 here. Personally it’ll be the Test series when my daughter Leila started her own innings. We got through labour on the last day of Leeds and she’s nine days old as Blowers bows out and we have another firecracker of a game on our hands today. I’ll have her emailing into the OBO by the end of the Ashes.”

4.03pm BST

44th over: England 141-8 (Roland-Jones 6, Broad 3) Roach continues to work Broad over, beating the outside edge either side of another sharp bouncer. A maiden.

“Shame Stokes didn’t reach the Beefy/Greig milestone you mentioned,” says Michael Bate. “He still has a chance to become only the fourth Englishman to get on all three dressing room honours boards (Century, 5-for, 10wkts in a match) at Lord’s. Can any Friday afternoon OBOers guess the three who’ve done it? (I should declare an interest - I’m a Lord’s tour guide.)

3.59pm BST

43rd over: England 141-8 (Roland-Jones 6, Broad 3) The last really low-scoring Lord’s Test was that weird classic between these sides in 2000. Batting may become easier in the second innings here, as the sun has just emerged to loud cheers. England lead by 18.

“I’ve continued my Test match cocktail theme for this last match of the summer,” says John Withington. “Sadly despite getting onto OBO yesterday there wasn’t a single suggestion of how to mark Jimmy’s 500th with a new cocktail. Then he went and did the job for me by ending up high and dry one short on 499! Which gifted me a couple of names and ideas. So I’ve just published today’s article including two cocktails for the event, the One Short and the High and Drye. Have a look at the link for the full article. Hope you and the readers enjoy.”

3.52pm BST

42nd over: England 134-8 (Roland-Jones 4, Broad 0) Roach greets Broad with two very sharp bouncers, the first of which has him hopping all over the place. Roach has bowled so well in this innings; his figures are five for 47 from 19 overs.

“Everyone knows that part of the perks of being a Test cricketer is that you get free treatment at the Advanced Hair Institute,” says Charlie Tinsley. “I expect Stokes to take guard during the winter’s trials looking like Tormund Giantsbane.”

3.50pm BST

Roach has his five-for! That was all very predictable. Moeen resisted a few tempters outside off stump but that abstinence was never going to last. Eventually he threw his hands into a loose drive and was beautifully taken by Kyle Hope in a wide slip position.

3.46pm BST

41st over: England 134-7 (Moeen 3, Roland-Jones 4) A short ball from Gabriel is clouted merrily for four by Roland-Jones. That really isn’t the length to bowl on this pitch, or rather in this atmosphere.

“In the early eighties when Spielberg was at his true peak, a Hollywood wannabe saw him sitting on the sand looking out at the ocean and when he left went he sat in the same spot hoping to get inspiration and see what the great man saw,” says Ian Copestake. “Some of the England team might be advised to follow Stokes about a bit more.”

3.41pm BST

40th over: England 129-7 (Moeen 2, Roland-Jones 0) Moeen is beaten, swishing at an outswinger from Roach. Roland-Jones also plays and misses later in the over. The ball isn’t just talking; it’s talking like Brian Blessed. Even a frisky 30 from Moeen could be match-winning.

3.36pm BST

39th over: England 128-7 (Moeen 1, Roland-Jones 0) “Hi Rob, given we’re about to see a low-scoring game, do you think England may regret not having Woakes at number nine?” says Dean Ainsworth. “TRJ is handy but no more, Woakes likes a better bet that some of the top six at times. I think he would have done as well as TRJ with the ball as well, he looked sharper at the weekend.”

They might, as he’s an offensively good No9, but I think Roland-Jones (sorry, I can’t bring myself to call him TRJ; I have no idea why) was the right choice. Woakes did look sharper at the weekend, though he was bowling spells of one and two overs. Brisbane is a tough choice though, as there are still doubts over Woakes in overseas conditions. I suspect he’ll play, as he probably should.

3.33pm BST

He’s done him again! That’s an exceptional comeback from Gabriel, an almost identical delivery. It was just full of a length and jagged back through the gate to ransack Stokes’s stumps. That was reminscent of Darren Gough’s double dismissal of Greg Blewett on the first morning of the 1997 Ashes. This was two balls later rather than next ball. The umpires didn’t bother to check the no-ball, which was a bit of surprise - until we saw the replay, which showed he was well behind the line.

3.31pm BST

Oh my. Gabriel cleans Stokes up with a superb delivery from around the wicket - and it’s a no-ball. As soon as the umpires went upstairs to check there was a sense of inevitability about it.

3.27pm BST

38th over: England 125-6 (Stokes 58, Moeen 1) West Indies will be dreading another Moeen cameo, particularly in a tight match like this. It must be quite confusing bowling to Moeen: he has such obvious defensive weaknesses that it must feel like you’ll get him any second, and then you look up and he’s 50 not out from 60 balls.

3.23pm BST

37th over: England 122-6 (Stokes 56, Moeen 0) Stokes has become a high-class Test batsman, particularly outside Asia. He averages 46 since the start of 2016 and 47 this year. There’s a good argument for putting him at No5 in the Ashes. The counter-argument says: don’t mess with a strength to cover a weakness.

“Rob,” says John Starbuck. “You can’t see it now because of the batting helmet, but Ben Stokes is losing scalp hair at a pretty fast rate now. Not to worry (unless he does and needs a Rooney) since if he goes without a hat or cap in the field the freckles will cover the pate soon enough. You’ll know it’s working when he starts having close shaves all over and we say Welcome to the Smooth Club.”

3.17pm BST

36th over: England 119-6 (Stokes 53, Moeen 0) That was the last ball of the over. It was a timely wicket for West Indies - and a deserved one for Roach, who bowled superbly to Bairstow.

3.16pm BST

I thought it might be a touch high, and maybe going down, with Roach bowling from wide on the crease. The umpire took his time before giving Bairstow out. Here comes ball-tracking... and it shows three reds, so Bairstow is out. That’s an excellent decision from the umpire Chris Gaffaney, because there were a couple of doubts and he could easily have played it safe.

3.14pm BST

This is a bit of a slugfest between Roach and Bairstow. Roach beats the outside edge with a beautiful lifter; Bairstow creams the next ball to the extra-cover boundary. And now Bairstow has been given out LBW!

3.11pm BST

Hello folks. I come bearing stats. Only two England players have scored a hundred and taken a five-for in a Test: Tony Greig, who did it once, and Sir Ian Botham, who did it a superheroic five times. Ben Stokes has a chance to join that club. He is lording over this Test like a colossus, and this could even become his take on Beefy’s Jubilee Test (without the 4am drinking games). Overhead conditions have made batting so difficult for everyone else in this game; for the moment, the Stokes aura has neutralised the Lord’s atmosphere.

3.11pm BST

35th over: England 113-5 (Stokes 52, Bairstow 16) That’s a nice shot from Bairstow, even if it picks out a fielder at extra cover and he gets no runs for it. The next ball beats the batsman again, but was a massive no-ball so any wicket wouldn’t have counted. And with that I’ll hand you over to Rob Smyth, email him here if you feel so inclined. Bye!

3.06pm BST

34th over: England 110-5 (Stokes 51, Bairstow 15) Stokes’ half-century featured 10 fours, 10 singles and 31 dots. Bairstow remains in search of fluency, and has an inadvisible slash at Roach’s final delivery.

3.01pm BST

33rd over: England 109-5 (Stokes 50, Bairstow 15) Stokes pushes the ball gently with a straight bat and it rumbles down the ground for four, slowly enough that a fielder has to chase it all the way, quickly enough that the chasing fielder has no chance of catching it. All about the timing. A single brings up his 50, from 51 deliveries, and he’s basically won the man of the match award already, hasn’t he?

2.58pm BST

32nd over: England 104-5 (Stokes 45, Bairstow 15) Stokes tries to drive through the covers and instead gets a thick edge. Still, the effect is the same, as the ball flies wide of gully and away for four. “Hoping our ginger warriors can at least reach their own averages until the sun comes out, batting conditions improve and we can have a Test that lasts beyond Saturday,” murmurs Ian Copestake.

2.52pm BST

31st over: England 99-5 (Stokes 40, Bairstow 15) Stokes, though, is looking comfortable. He pulls Holder’s first delivery through midwicket for a tasty four, and a single then takes his past Powell’s 39 and makes him the biggest scorer of the match so far. Holder then delivers some short nonsense that Bairstow capitalises upon, also with a pull through midwicket for four.

2.47pm BST

30th over: England 90-5 (Stokes 35, Bairstow 11) Roach is back after a change of ends, and tempts Bairstow with a delivery that’s too full to safely drive, but wide enough to be tempting. The batsman tries to hit it and is lucky to miss. The last ball of the over prompts an even wilder swing, equally imprecise.

2.43pm BST

29th over: England 89-5 (Stokes 34, Bairstow 11) Holder bowls short and wide, Stokes swings his bat, and when he connects only with its toe and sends the ball bouncing limply to cover the look of regret and disgust on his face is a picture. He absolutely nails the next, a stonking pull through midwicket, but it flies straight to the only fielder in the neighbourhood for a single. “Is it tempting fate to say that Stokes will get at least 124?” wonders Matthew Doherty. Yes, I’d say it’s definitely tempting fate.

2.37pm BST

28th over: England 86-5 (Stokes 33, Bairstow 9) That’s nice though! Gabriel bowls towards Bairstow’s hip, and he gently nurses it to the deep square leg boundary. And then he flicks the ball off his pads and through midwicket, though it’s fielded in the deep.

2.32pm BST

27th over: England 79-5 (Stokes 33, Bairstow 3) Here’s a curious stat, particulaly because he’s never played in the West Indies, and his average in England is 44.20. At the other end of the scale, in three matches against Sri Lanka Bairstow averages 129.00.

Jonny Bairstow averages 12.83 against the WI. His overall Test match average is 40.08 #ENGvWI

2.28pm BST

26th over: England 75-5 (Stokes 29, Bairstow 3) Gabriel starts with a wild, short, wide delivery across Stokes, which but for a fine leaping save from Dowrich would have flown away for four but as it was remained a dot. A single later Bairstow is back on strike, and still looking awkward. He does get a couple through square leg, mind.

2.23pm BST

25th over: England 72-5 (Stokes 28, Bairstow 1) A fine over from Roach, with Bairstow looking uncomfortable throughout. There’s a strangled appeal for lbw at one point, but all that comes of it is a couple of leg byes.

2.19pm BST

24th over: England 70-5 (Stokes 28, Bairstow 1) And so it starts again, and in the first over back there’s a drop! Gabriel bowls, Stokes gets a thick edge and it flies straight to third slip! Sadly, West Indies had a third slip until the previous ball, when they decided they didn’t really need one and moved him away. Thus Kyle Hope at second slip had to dive high to his left, and though he got his hands to it, he couldn’t make it stick. A tough chance, but catchable. They immediately bring back a third slip, but the next ball goes down the ground for four.

2.12pm BST

The players are out! This is actually happening!

2.03pm BST

Possible imminent cricket claxon! It has stopped raining again, perhaps for a while this time, so they are going to play cricket at 2.15pm BST!

1.48pm BST

So the umpires abandoned their inspection and will have another go in a bit, perhaps half an hour or so.

1.40pm BST

Bad tidings: it’s started raining again.

1.35pm BST

The umpires should be inspecting the field precisely now. An update should be imminent. In the meantime, you can read about rain falling (or not) elsewhere here:

1.23pm BST

@Simon_Burnton how late can play go today? Met Office says clearing from 4, sunshine by 7

Yesterday play could potentially have gone on until 7.10pm, so it could certainly continue until then, particularly if there’s some sunshine.

1.18pm BST

The umpires have been out, and decided that there should be a further pitch inspection in about 15 minutes.

1.15pm BST

It’s not raining! But it will be again in a bit, and there may be showers after that. But the thickest, darkest, most unfriendly bit of cloud has now moved on eastwards.

12.48pm BST

This isn’t promising. It looks like there might soon be a rainless half-hour or so, but it won’t last.

@simon_burnton rain bouncing higher than Ben Stokes near Didcot now. Not even Michael Fish could convince that this isn’t coming to Lord’s

12.42pm BST

Lunch is being taken. It’s still raining. “If you went dressed as Gaillardia Goblins, a yellow and maroon dwarf variety of plant that beds in well but requires a lot of liquid, you would probably pass the Lord’s club colour, stature and quenching criteria,” suggests Raymond Reardon. Now, on to weightier matters: I’ll have the halibut and the chocolate torte, if you’d be so kind.

The players are taking an early Lunch and judging by the menu, we could not blame them! #ENGvWI

What would you choose? #LoveLords pic.twitter.com/Sg0quP8D6E

12.22pm BST

Update: it’s still raining. “Maybe subtle fancy dress is required,” suggests Robin Hazlehurst. “Going as Michael Fish would blend in with the old buffers while making an understated comment on the weather. And it would be instantly recognisable while not actually screaming ‘Fancy Dress’. Although you might need a pretty good wardrobe and make-up department to help achieve it convincingly.”

12.19pm BST

“Please tell Alec we weren’t of course planning to make our costumes visible,” writes Kim Thonger. “They would be worn underneath ordinary attire, it’s more subversive that way. Doesn’t everyone do this at work? I just assumed it was the norm.” Flippers would have been hard to pull off, but I’d love to have seen you try.

12.03pm BST

I’d like to give you some good news. I am unable to. “You can wear pretty much anything in Club colours,” Alan Synnott tells me. “I was admiring the egg and bacon scuba tank in the MCC shop only yesterday.”

11.42am BST

It still looks reasonably bright in St John’s Wood, but I’d be surprised if we get more play before lunch. If you’re in Beaconsfield, Abingdon or Didcot, your last hour is our next hour, and something tells me it wasn’t a great one. Well, someone.

@Simon_Burnton I'm in Beaconsfield and it's been hammering it down for half an hour. I reckon you won't get more than five overs today.

11.37am BST

Two balls into Gabriel’s over the umpires decide it’s time to head for cover.

11.36am BST

23rd over: England 58-5 (Stokes 20, Bairstow 0) A maiden. If it was raining wickets yesterday, it seems the downpour is continuing. And it is also actually literally raining, and my rain radar suggests it isn’t going to stop for a while. It has started gently, though, and the players remain on the field.

11.32am BST

It had been a comfortable opening to the day for England. Even quite sedate. No more, though! Malan is squared up by a ball that straightens and kisses his edge, giving Dowrich the most straightforward of catches!

11.29am BST

22nd over: England 58-4 (Malan 23, Stokes 20) There’s an unsuccessful lbw appeal against Malan, the ball having pitched outside leg, and once again Gabriel’s final delivery is speared away for four, this time by Stokes. Now, doesn’t allow fancy dress? Have you seen the state of some of the people in the Pavilion? How would you describe the MCC’s own bacon-and-egg blazer if not as the most fancy of dress?

@Simon_Burnton Lords doesn't allow fancy dress. I nearly got kicked out for wearing an oversized Guinness hat on a hot day

11.23am BST

21st over: England 57-4 (Malan 19, Stokes 18) Kemar Roach gives Stokes a bit of width, and the ball is cut away for four. In other news Theresa May, our dear leader, is in the audience, and Ian Copestake has taken to his keyboard. “A 24% chance of rain before lunch?” he writes. “I much prefer ‘might’ or ‘it’s possible’ to this arrogant insistence on the measurability of all things. 65% of me is fuming.”

11.19am BST

20th over: England 52-4 (Malan 19, Stokes 13) Shannon Gabriel starts day two, and Malan drives his final delivery through the covers for four. A fine shot, that. “Morning Simon,” writes Kim Thonger. Morning Kim. “My wife and I are going to Lord’s tomorrow and in view of the weather forecast are in a quandary as to which fancy dress outfits to wear? I favour the full Jacques Cousteau (and Mme Cousteau) wetsuits with SCUBA gear. My wife is tending towards Captain Troy Tempest and Maria the Mermaid. I’ve advised her that getting up the steps to the top level of the Warner Stand may be tricky without feet. She argues that it’s no harder than in flippers, and anyway a gentleman would carry her. Could your readers please settle the dispute? (By DRS if necessary)” Tomorrow’s forecast is pretty good, so I’m afraid I would suggest a total rethink, focusing perhaps on land-based entertainment.

11.14am BST

Looking at the rain radar, I’d say we’ve got 45 minutes, tops.

11.13am BST

The players are out! We’re going to have cricket!

11.11am BST

If you’re at Lord’s, looking at the skies and feeling unlucky, you’ve actually got it pretty good:

☔ Following this morning's inclement weather, lunch will be taken at 11:50am and there will also be a further pitch inspection at 11:50am. pic.twitter.com/C4VfOugveA

11.02am BST

Ottis Gibson has been tlaking to Sky about Ben Stokes, and the state of English pace bowling:

Look, we’ve seen that before with Ben, in the Ashes in 2015 at Trent Brige. When the ball is swinging, next to Jimmy Anderson he’s probably the best swing bowler we have. Yesterday morning we were chatting, and he’d not had the best summer. The ball was swinging a lot yesterday morning. I said, when the ball is swinging the only skill you need to have is accuracy. Don’t worry about pace, just concentrate on accuracy. That goes against his normal character. To see him drop it on a length and let the swing do its work was outstanding. He’s not somebody who likes too much technical stuff and coaching, and relies on natural ability. He controlled length really well yesterday. When he missed length and got hit he got very angry with himself. He lets his natural instincts control not just his cricket but his life.

I think England are in a great position, to be honest. Woakes had an outstanding summer last year, but we’ve not had him most of this year. Toby’s come in this year and given a really good account of himself. Mark Wood, who I still think is going to be the x-factor for England. He’s still got a lot too offer. I was very impressed with Olly Stone in the T20 Blast.

10.50am BST

Important news! Play will start at 11.15am. Unless it doesn’t.

10.46am BST

The covers are back on. It’s going to be one of those days, I fear.

Well that was nice while it lasted.

Covers are back on #ENGvWI https://t.co/IWaem4Qfct

10.28am BST

The covers are off at the moment - @englandcricket & @westindies are training on the outfield.

Play still scheduled for 11am start. pic.twitter.com/Bc0K7jWTsA

... and the forecasters now put the odds on afternoon rain no higher than 60%, and (unlike the rain) falling.

9.45am BST

Hello world!

The good news is that, as I write this, the weather in north London is considerably better than it was when I woke up a few hours ago, and the forecast for today is also much improved from yesterday’s bleak rainfest. Neither however could exactly be described as excellent: the heavy clouds at the moment are light grey and not chucking water at us, but they remain fairly menacing. Meteorologists inform me there is but a 24% chance that they will start to shed their watery load between now and lunch. After lunch, however, it’s an entirely different story, with the chance of rain currently hovering between 75% and 90% between 2pm and 5pm. Still, that leaves us at least a 10% chance of a rainless day, which is something to celebrate I’m sure you’ll agree (I’ve looked at the rain radar, and if that’s what happens I suggest we all invest in some lottery tickets).

Not the prettiest forecast sadly, but there's still potential for cricket to be played at some point today! #ENGvWI

Fingers crossed. pic.twitter.com/7NFAXdjNvy

Better news @HomeOfCricket

Covers slowly coming off.

We might get some play after all. #ENGvWI pic.twitter.com/t5MVBLWt9L

8.38am BST

Simon will be here shortly. Ben Stokes took six wickets on day one and said afterwards his bowling performance was “a monkey off my back”:

Ben Stokes spoke of his pride at recording his career-best figures with the ball after believing he had been letting the England team down this summer. But, given a wicket-laden first day during which West Indies hit back late on with four strikes themselves, the third Test remains in the balance.

By claiming six for 22 from 14.3 overs in a masterful exhibition of swing bowling either side of tea, Stokes helped Joe Root’s side to dismiss the tourists for 123 in the series decider and became only the sixth England cricketer to get his name on both honours boards at Lord’s.

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Published on September 08, 2017 11:34

September 3, 2017

US Open: Sharapova loses to Sevastova, Venus Williams through – as it happened

Sharapova knocked out by 16th seed Sevastova
US Open sensation Shapovalov knocked out by Carreño Busta

12.20am BST

Venus leaps out to a 0-40 lead on her opponent’s serve - Suarez Navarro saves one match point but a beautiful drop-volley sends Venus through - a quarter-final and a new niece. Not a bad few days for the veteran.

12.16am BST

Venus looks like she’s cruising to victory but as she serves to make it 5-1 she double faults, and Suarez Navarro lives to fight another day (point). A few point later, she makes no mistake and she is one game from a quarter-final place.

12.02am BST

The moment I type that, Venus goes up a couple of gears and breaks emphatically to lead 2-1 in the final set.

11.57pm BST

Venus is not playing well here. At the moment Suarez Navarro looks much more assured and accomplished.

11.52pm BST

Suarez Navarro wins the second set 6-3! Venus Williams goes long with a backhand, and the match is level. That was a superb set from Suarez Navarro, almost flawless.

11.51pm BST

Suarez Navarro is keeping Venus at arms length in this set, and has been at least one break up since the first game: 3-0, 3-2, 4-2, 4-3, 5-3. And now she has a set point on the Williams serve...

11.42pm BST

A vital hold from Suarez Navarro, who was in trouble at 15-30 before composing herself to move 4-2 ahead.

11.35pm BST

Kevin Anderson has closed out the second set against Paolo Lorenzi, and is one away from the quarter-final. Meanwhile, Venus Williams has got one break back against Carla Suarez Navarro but trails 3-2 in the second set.

11.26pm BST

An early break in the second set for Suarez Navarro, and also for Kevin Anderson on Armstrong. He leads Paolo Lorenzi 6-4, 4-2. Make that a double break for Suarez Navarro, who is 3-0 ahead.

11.15pm BST

Here’s Kevin Mitchell’s report on the end of Maria Sharapova’s US Open.

11.12pm BST

Venus Williams breaks again to take the first set 6-3. She’s halfway to what would be a humdinger of a quarter-final against either Petra Kvitova or Garbine Muguruza.

11.03pm BST

Diego Schwartzman beats Lucas Pouille 7-6, 7-5, 2-6, 6-2. He was a break down in that fourth set before running away with the match. Back on Arthur Ashe, Venus Williams has re-broken Suarez Navarro to lead 4-3.

10.59pm BST

A wild backhand from Venus allows Suarez Navarro to break back at 3-3. After a nervous start, Suarez Navarro is playing beautifully.

10.55pm BST

On Armstrong, Kevin Anderson has broken Paolo Lorenzi to take the first set 6-4.

10.54pm BST

After back-to-back breaks, Schwartzman leads Pouille 4-2 in the fourth set and is two games away from a quarter-final against Pablo Carreno Busta.

10.48pm BST

Diego Schwartzman has broken back on Grandstand. In the big game on Ashe, Venus Williams leads Carla Suarez Navarro 3-2 with a break.

10.42pm BST

Pouille is right back in that match now - he has broken early in the fourth to lead 2-1.

10.36pm BST

Lucas Pouille has won the third set 6-2 against Diego Schwartzman, who now leads by two sets to one.

10.35pm BST

Venus has got off to a great start against Carla Suarez Navarro. She broke in the first game and now leads 2-0.

10.29pm BST

Sloane Stephens' meteoric rankings summer surge:

Before Toronto: #934
After Toronto SF: #151
After Cincinnati SF: #84
Into #USOpen QF: ~#51

10.23pm BST

Paolo Lorenzi and Kevin Anderson are under way in their last-16 match. On Grandstand, Lucas Pouille is a break up in the third against Diego Schwartzman, who took the first two sets.

10.05pm BST

Next up on Arthur Ashe is another cracking match - Carla Suarez Navarro against Venus Williams.

10.04pm BST

That’s a brilliant win for the No16 seed in an excellent match, and she will play Sloane Stephens in the quarter-finals. Sharapova saved three match points before finally succumbing.

10.01pm BST

Diego Schwartzman is two sets up on Lucas Pouille after breaking to win the second set 7-5.

9.58pm BST

A beautiful slice from Sevastova gives her a break point for 5-2 - and she takes it after another unforced error from Sharapova.

9.54pm BST

Sloane Stephens is through to the quarter-finals, where she will face either Sevastova or Sharapova. She beat Julia Goerges 6-3, 3-6, 6-1. Next up on Armstrong is Paolo Lorenzi against Kevin Anderson for a place in the men’s quarters.

9.50pm BST

Sevastova was so dominant at the start of the set, winning 10 points in a row, but suddenly she looks a little edgy. Sharapova, who took a medical timeout at 3-0, has dragged it back to 3-2.

9.46pm BST

That’s one break back for Sharapova, helped by a couple of double faults from Sevastova. It’s 3-1 in the final set.

9.41pm BST

Here’s Kevin Mitchell’s report of the first match on Arthur Ashe, when Pablo Carren Busta beat the brilliant teenager Denis Shapovalov 7-6, 7-6, 7-6.

9.39pm BST

Sevastova is bullying Sharapova in this final set. She holds to love, then breaks to love to move 3-0 ahead with a double break.

Always seemed likely that lack of preparation/emotions of her return would catch up with Sharapova at some stage. Could be now....

9.34pm BST

Sharapova is in a bit of trouble here; Sevastova has broken to lead 1-0 in the final set, helped by a couple of double-faults.

9.28pm BST

There will also be a deciding set on Armstrong, with Julia Georges taking the second 6-3 against Sloane Stephens.

9.25pm BST

Sevastova serves out the second set with authority, taking it 6-4. Sharapova has been to the well a few times in this tournament, and she’ll need to go again for a deciding set.

9.18pm BST

Diego Schwartzman takes the first set against Lucas Pouille on a tiebreak. The winner of that match will play Pablo Carreno Busta in the quarter-finals. Back on Ashe, Sevastova leads Sharapova 5-3 in the second set.

9.06pm BST

Sevastova is still in control of the second set, leading Sharapova 4-2. Julia Goerges has broken Sloane Stephens and is 3-0 up in the second set of their match on Armstrong.

8.55pm BST

The second set is warming up on Arthur Ashe. Sevastova saves a break point and then breaks Sharapova in the next game to lead 2-1.

8.51pm BST

The match between Lucas Pouille and Diego Schwartzman on Grandstand has thus far gone with serve. Pouille leads 3-2.

8.47pm BST

On Armstrong, Sloane Stephens has taken the first set 6-3 against autocorrect nightmare Julia Goerges. The winner of that game will play the winner of Sharapova/Sevastova.

8.39pm BST

Sharapova takes the first set 7-5! It seemed like we were heading inexorably for another tiebreak on Arthur Ashe, only for Sharapova to break Sevastova emphatically and take the set.

8.31pm BST

Sharapova edges out to 5-4 with a comfortabl-ish hold. Some drama on Armstrong though - Stephens is a triple break-point down but battles back to hold and it’s 2-2. We have a men’s match underway too - Argentina’s greatest Jewish tennis player, Diego Schwartzman, is taking on the No16 seed, Lucas Pouille. The Frenchman has held in the opening game of the match.

8.24pm BST

That break back has pepped up Sevastova a little - she’s 40-0 up on her serve until a blistering backhand (what’s the forehand equivalent of a blistering backhand? A fizzing forehand?) pulls us back to 40-15. A fizzing forehand then makes it 40-30. A bad backhand gives the game to the Latvian and we’re 4-4. Stephens-Goerges is 2-1 to the American.

8.19pm BST

Sharapova is inching her way towards the first set - until a bad net cord ends her hopes of taking the game and gives Sevastova a break point. A misplaced volley means we’re back on serve. Sharapova leads 4-3. On Louis Armstrong, Sloane Stephens is leading Julia Goerges 1-0 ... actually make that 1-1. In important news: the sun is out in New York! Break out the sunlotion and shades.

8.14pm BST

One of the home hopes, Sloane Stephens, is warming up on for her fourth-round match with Germany’s Julia Goerges. The winner of that contest meets whoever comes out on top in this one between Sharapova and Sevastova. There’s a sprinkling of rain but both players are holding their footing. Sevastova hits a nice shot down the line to hold. Sharapova 4-2 Sevastova.

8.10pm BST

A harder game for Sharapova on her own serve and Sevastova gets advantage to bring up her first break point. The Russia hits a strong serve down the middle though that Sevastova can’t land in play and we’re back to deuce. Sevastova has hit a few weak drop shots today, and another one brings up gamepoint for Sharapova - another good serve helps her hold. Sharapova leads 4-1.

8.04pm BST

Two breaks points for Sharapova on Sevastova’s second service game. And Sharapova converts the break point on the first opportunity - a backhand down the line is just too good for the former champion’s opponent. Sharapova leads 3-1.

7.59pm BST

Sharapova pulls off a left-handed shot as she chases down a lob - not bad for a righthander. She wins the point too. She then wins the game with a lovely drop shot - although disappointingly it’s with her righthand. Still, she holds to love. Sharapova 2-1 Sevastova.

7.56pm BST

For all Sharapova’s skill and history at Flushing Meadows, Sevastova is the No16 seed and she breezes through her opening service game. It’s 1-1.

7.53pm BST

Sharapova leaps out to a 30-0 lead in the opening game but Sevastova battles back to deuce. Sharapova goes on to hold but it wasn’t as comfortable as it first looked - the skies are still grey here in NYC but it looks like the threat of rain is gone (source: my window).

7.47pm BST

I’m going to take a quick lunch break, so the Rt Hon Tom Lutz Esq. will look after you for the next half an hour or so.

7.45pm BST

Sevastova and Sharapova are ready to go on Arthur Ashe. Sharapova looks very intense.

7.36pm BST

Shapovalov started the hard swing at #161. He leaves it ranked ~#51 with a M1000 SF, a slam R4 and a 19-3 record. Incredible breakthrough.

7.30pm BST

Grandstand watch Henri Kontinen and John Peers, the No1 seeds in the men’s doubles, have won the first set 7-6 against Mikhail Elgin and Daniil Medvedev.

7.21pm BST

End of the road for @denis_shapo but what a run. Carreno-Busta just too solid, too good on the big points and in tiebreaks today

7.17pm BST

Next up on Arthur Ashe is Anastasija Sevastova against Maria Sharapova.

7.16pm BST

Carreno Busta beats Shapovalov 7-6, 7-6, 7-6. The game has been so close - apart from the tiebreaks, which Carreno Busta has won with ease. Shapovalov managed only seven points in the three tiebreaks. It’s a noble defeat

7.11pm BST

Shapovalov starts the tiebreak with a double fault. Ach!

7.10pm BST

In a surprising development, the third set has gone to a tiebreak.

7.07pm BST

Shapovalov holds with ease to go 6-5 ahead in the third set. He is such fun to watch, so dynamic and irrepressible. Carreno Busta has had a bit more street wisdom and made fewer unforced errors.

7.03pm BST

Ach! With Carreno Busta serving to stay in the set, Shapovalov makes unforced errors at 15- and 30-all. I suppose at least he’s willing to die by the sword. Carreno Busta holds to make it 5-5.

Roger Federer gets night billing again on Monday at @usopen, Nadal second on Ashe in the day after Pliskova-Brady

6.56pm BST

Brilliant stuff from Shapovalov, who saves three break points to eventually hold. He leads 5-4. Whatever happens here, and he’s likely to go out, he has done enough to reinforce the perception that he’s going to be a star.

6.52pm BST

It’s 4-4 in the third set. Shapovalov is refusing to accept the apparent logic of imminent defeat. He’s like a cockroach that Carreno Busta can’t kill.

6.42pm BST

Carreno Busta saves two break points and then breaks back in the next game. We’re back on serve, with Shapovalov leading 3-2. That’s a missed opportunity, who won 12 points in a row to move to the cusp of a 4-0 lead.

6.33pm BST

The rain has stopped and the players are warming up on the outside courts. You can see all the latest scores here. Shapovalov is threatening to run riot in the third set; he holds to love and leads 3-0.

6.30pm BST

It’s fair to say Shapovalov is not familiar with the concept of throwing the towel in. He leads 2-0 in the third set, after breaking Carreno Busta to love.

6.21pm BST

Shapovalov hit 15 winners to Carreno Busta’s nine in that set. But he also made 15 unforced errors to Carreno Busta’s ten. That’s the story of the game.

6.19pm BST

Carreno Busta wins the tiebreak 7-4 and leads 7-6, 7-6. There isn’t much between them, but the quality of Carreno Busta’s defensive game is proving decisive at the moment.

6.16pm BST

Carreno Busta leads 4-3 with one mini-break. This is the game, right here.

6.11pm BST

Shapovalov holds to love, so we’re going to have another tiebreak.

6.08pm BST

Still no play on the other courts because of rain. I would have said that earlier had I, you know, been doing my job properly. After a comfortable hold apiece, Carreno Busta leads 6-5 in the second set.

6.02pm BST

Shapovalov breaks back! Carreno Busta seemed in control, serving for the set at 5-3; then, in the blink of an eye, Shapovalov had three break points. Carreno Busta saved two of them but not the third, with Shapovalov finally ending a superb rally with the kind of smash that brooks not a solitary argument.

5.52pm BST

Carreno Busta is playing some majestic tennis now, and a scorching forehand down the line gives him a 5-2 lead in the second set.

5.47pm BST

At the moment, experience is trumping youth. Shapovalov is still bouncing around full of optimism, however, and an easy hold keeps him in the second set at 2-4.

5.37pm BST

Carreno Busta breaks again, and now he leads 7-6, 3-1. Shapovalov is starting to look a little lost.

5.28pm BST

The mood of the match has changed so much in the last 10 minutes. At 6-7, 0-1, this already feels like a big service game for Shapovalov. He holds to 15, a hugely impressive response to a nascent crisis.

5.22pm BST

Carreno Busta wins the first set 7-6. He romped through the tiebreak 7-2, with some strokes of real authority. Shapovalov, who was serving for the set at 5-3 and had three set points at 6-5, will feel he’s been mugged.

5.19pm BST

Carreno Busta did brilliantly to stay in the first set, and now he’s going to win it: he leads 5-1 in the tiebreak.

5.15pm BST

Carreno Busta saves a third set point before taking the first set to a tie break. He has done brilliantly to stay in this set in the face of a bracing onslaught from Shapovalov.

5.13pm BST

Shapovalov has wasted two set points on the Carreno Busta serve, the second after the longest rally of the match so far. It’s deuce, with Shapovalov 6-5 ahead.

5.06pm BST

Another chance for Shapovalov, at 30-30 against serve, but Carreno Busta produces a brilliant lob and goes on to square the set at 5-5.

5.00pm BST

Shapovalov leads 5-4 in the first set At 5-3 down, a sensational return from Carreno Busta gives him two break points - and he takes the first with a ferocious forehand. It’s back on serve.

4.52pm BST

Shapovalov breaks! Carreno Busta nets a backhand to give Shapovalov a 4-2 lead in the first set. It’s an excellent game, and Shapovalov’s energy is threatening to overwhelm Carreno Busta.

4.45pm BST

Shapovalov leads Carreno Busta 3-2 Shapovalov responds to a first break point against him with an ace. You can’t teach that sort of timing. He is already hitting some punishing forehands, and a couple more ensure another hold.

4.31pm BST

Carreno Busta has just saved a couple of break points in his first service game, so it’s 1-1 in the first set. Shapovalov has started with a swagger.

4.30pm BST

‘Oh dear’ department

Sigh. pic.twitter.com/nVmZ8uPvV1

4.24pm BST

John McEnroe on ESPN on Shapovalov: "He's going to win Grand Slams"

4.22pm BST

The players are on court. Pablo Carreno Busta is having his right wrist strapped, though he didn’t seem remotely alarmed about that fact. Shapovalov will serve first.

3.57pm BST

Here’s the singles schedule for the afternoon:

Arthur Ashe Stadium (from 11am local/4pm BST)

2.14pm BST

Hi there. Nothing in sport is quite as exhilarating as the emergence of a brilliant young talent. Even when those players go on to achieve greatness, they are rarely as thrilling to watch as when they first emerge. That’s logical enough, because nothing hits the G-spot of our imagination as consistently as a combination of novelty and infinite potential. Think Scorsese’s Mean Streets, Ronaldo, Mike Tyson, Michael van Gerwen, The Strokes’ Is This It – and maybe, just maybe, Denis Shapovalov.

His emergence in the last month is even more exciting because men’s tennis has been waiting the best part of a decade for a new superstar. Shapovalov, a Canadian who was born in Israel and lives in the Bahamas, has already taken care of Jo-Wilfred Tsonga in straight sets and today he plays the 12th seed, Pablo Carreno Busta in the last 16.

View more on Rob Smyth's website »

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Published on September 03, 2017 16:20

August 28, 2017

England declare and set West Indies 322 to win on day four – as it happened

A strong team batting performance, led by the exhilarating Moeen Ali, put England in charge on another fascinating day’s play at Headingley

6.58pm BST

6.22pm BST

That was a great day for England, who are strong favourites to win this match on a wearing, spinning pitch. Tom Davies and Daniel Harris will be here tomorrow. Thanks for your company, night!

6.21pm BST

6th over: West Indies 5-0 (Brathwaite 4, Powell 1) Moeen bowls the last over of the day with four men round the bat. Powell gets off strike and off the mark, which gives Brathwaite three balls to survive. He turns the first fractionally short of the diving Anderson, lurking round the corner, and then survives a huge LBW shout from the last ball of the day. It went straight on, past the outside edge to hit the pad. England are very tempted to review but decide against it. I think that’s the right decision as he might just have been outside the line. Yes, replays show it was the right decision from S Ravi.

6.16pm BST

5th over: West Indies 4-0 (Brathwaite 4, Powell 0) Brathwaite survives a huge LBW appeal when is knocked off his feet by a big inducker from Anderson. I think it was going down leg, and England decide not to review. Replays shows it was umpire’s call, shaving the leg bail. That’s fine umpiring from Chris Gaffaney. Brathwaite survives again when he tries to leave and accidentally diverts the ball on the bounce to second slip. A cracking over from Anderson.

“And over-60s can get in for £5 tomorrow,” says John Starbuck, “which must be at least half the OBO readership.”

6.12pm BST

4th over: West Indies 4-0 (Brathwaite 4, Powell 0) Another loose over from Broad, who can’t get his radar right. I’d give Moeen the final over at that end, with 14 men round the bat.

“Delighted to see Podmore getting the nod for Derbyshire,” says Nick Fisher. “As the man himself might say - ‘Get in! Very much so.’”

6.08pm BST

3rd over: West Indies 4-0 (Brathwaite 4, Powell 0) Brathwaite almost falls over as he lunges like a libidinous drunk at a gorgeous delivery from Anderson that bursts past the outside edge. The next ball goes the other way to prompt a big LBW appeal that is turned down. Too high.

“Afternoon Rob,” says Andy Bradshaw. “Wonder if Broad and Jimmy might break the habit of a lifetime and PITCH THE NEW BALL UP AT THE SODDING STUMPS AND NOT WASTE IT THE USELESS *$&$&%$^&”$*&*”$£%(“*”!£&$%”$£(%”£%$**.”

6.04pm BST

2nd over: West Indies 4-0 (Brathwaite 4, Powell 0) A poor first over from Broad, who gives Powell plenty that he can ignore. By the way tickets are £10 tomorrow, with kids getting in free. GO!

5.59pm BST

1st over: West Indies 3-0 (Brathwaite 3, Powell 0) Jimmy Anderson starts to Kraigg Brathwaite, who cuts the first ball assertively for three. That allows Anderson to start toying with Powell, who is beaten by an outswinger and struck on the pad by an inswinger next up. England go through with a token LBW appeal but everyone realised it was missing leg stump. Good stuff from Anderson.

“Hi Rob, was just checking to see how the Admiral Lord Collingwood of Shotley Bridge was getting on,” says Chris Howell. “Very pleased to see he has his century, also tickled that there is a Mr Podmore playing for Derbyshire...”

5.58pm BST

West Indies must be so disappointed that a potential win, the greatest win of their careers, has turned into a grim struggle for survival. That’s not easy to deal with, no matter how hard you try. It wouldn’t surprise me if they were routed.

5.49pm BST

So, West Indies need 322 to win. Unless somebody does a Mark Butcher, it’s not going to happen.

5.48pm BST

Woakes punishes the weary Holder for consecutive boundaries with a cut and a drive. Some effective scampering makes it 12 from the over, and Joe Root decides to declare. I didn’t expect that but it’s the right decision; West Indies look physically and mentally shattered and could easily lose a wicket or two tonight. They have six overs to survive.

5.43pm BST

140th over: England 478-8 (Woakes 50, Broad 14) Woakes drives Bishoo for a single to reach an accomplished, sedate half-century, his third in Tests.

“Highest England total without a century, blah…” sniffs Adam Hirst. “We’re also into the top 10 for England in the third innings and still climbing. Look! I done a statsguru!”

5.39pm BST

139th over: England 477-8 (Woakes 49, Broad 14) Thanks Tanya, hello again. I don’t think a declaration is imminent – on the balcony, Joe Root still has a hoodie on – though they will probably be bowled out before the close. There are 10 overs remaining after this one from Holder. Woakes flicks four more to move closer to a fifty – and, according to the chaps on Sky, make this England’s highest Test score without a century. The previous record was also on this ground 23 years ago, when Mike Atherton was agonisingly caught and bowled for 99 in his first innings after the dirt-in-the-pocket scandal (sic).

5.37pm BST

138th over: England 470-8 ( Woakes 42, Broad 14) England lead by296 And a knock on the door means that I miss all that over but I turn you over to the Master himself, Rob Smyth. Thank you for reading!

5.32pm BST

137th over: England 465-8 ( Woakes 41, Broad 10) England lead by 296 Holder brings himself back on, as a Mexican Wave swoops round the ground - a swooping slice from Broad grabs their attention back. England near the magic lead of 300.

5.27pm BST

136th over: England 460-8 ( Woakes 40, Broad 6) England lead by 291 Another no-ball from Bishoo is swept by Broad and short leg nearly gets thwacked by Woakes swinging the bat around. The shadows are lengthening at Headingley.

5.23pm BST

135th over: England 455-8 ( Woakes 37, Broad 5) England lead by 285 Some extra bounce from Chase and a maiden.

MEanwhile Dennis in Leicester has some statty fun of the type Rob likes so much. “England’s first innings was 258. The Windies first innings was 427. In the 126th over, England were on 427 and their lead was 258, both exactly the same as the two teams’ first innings scores. Spooky, eh?”

5.19pm BST

134th over: England 455-8 ( Woakes 37, Broad 5) England lead by 286 Just two runs from Bishoo’s over and everyone takes drinks out on the field and perhaps a cup of Yorkshire for Joe Root in the dressing-room. If he is going to declare tonight - the 8073 basking in the crowd will be in for a fascinating last hour.

Oh, and Hameed has just been out for 15...

5.14pm BST

133rd over: England 453-8 ( Woakes 36, Broad 5) England lead by 285

5.13pm BST

132nd over: England 453-8 ( Woakes 35, Broad 5) England lead by 284 Time for a breath. I’ll leave the words to Peter Salmon.

“I notice Eminem was headlining the Leeds festival last night – any news on whether he took advantage of the terrific £15 ticket deal today? Seems just the sort of chap who’d like the cut and thrust of a good day’s test cricket.

5.09pm BST

131st over: England 450-8 ( Woakes 32, Broad 5) Broad, on a pair, gets off the mark with a sweep behnd square for four. The instructions from the dressing-room are pretty clear here.

5.07pm BST

130th over: England 448-8 ( Woakes 31, Broad 0)

5.03pm BST

Moeen went for a big hit and lobbed it up to long on, where Brathwaite holds on! For shame - a century would have been right.

5.00pm BST

129th over: England 437-7 ( Moeen Ali 81, Woakes 29) England lead by 270. Tickety, tockety, goes the scoreboard, two from Chase’s over, as England’s lead grows. Meanwhile Richard Hands is in a happy place.

“I am, as ever, surreptitiously but immensely enjoying the OBO while summer half-heartedly puts in a belated appearance on the Brussels streets outside my office (blue sky! What’s that all about? We never have blue sky…).

4.58pm BST

128th over: England 437-7 ( Moeen Ali 80, Woakes 28) England lead by 268. Just the one run off Bishoo’s over - and a chance for Holder to take a breath.

4.55pm BST

127th over: England 436-7 ( Moeen Ali 79, Woakes 28) England lead by 267. What can you say about Moeen Ali in full flow like this? Will you count the ways? A couple of classy boundaries - it is just a shame Headingley isn’t more full on such a sunlit eve.

4.52pm BST

126th over: England 427-7 ( Moeen Ali 70, Woakes 28) England lead by 258. A maiden from Bishoo.

4.51pm BST

125th over: England 427-7 ( Moeen Ali 70, Woakes 28) England lead by 258. A full toss from Chase is driven to the boundary from Moeen and a sweep for four brings up the 100 partnership from 113 balls. These two have turned the match as much with their speed and confidence as their strokeplay.

4.47pm BST

124th over: England 418-7 ( Moeen Ali 61, Woakes 28) An excellent over from Bishoo, teasing away, though England stretch their lead to 250.

4.44pm BST

123rd over: England 418-7 ( Moeen Ali 61, Woakes 28) Chase returns to bring a little control to proceedings. Moeen watching and noting, watching and noting.

4.40pm BST

122nd over: England 415-7 ( Moeen Ali 59, Woakes 27) England lead by 246

“Evening Tanya”, writes Simon McMahon . “Will England bat on for as long as they can, or try to get a lead of, say, 300 and then have half a dozen overs from Anderson and Broad tonight..?”

4.36pm BST

121th over: England 412-7 ( Moeen Ali 56, Woakes 27) England lead by 241 Fifty for Moeen with a drive through the covers off Roach for four - and what a counter-attacking, carefree, little beauty it has been!

4.32pm BST

120th over: England 403-7 ( Moeen Ali 48, Woakes 26) England lead by 234

4.29pm BST

119th over: England 402-7 ( Moeen Ali 47, Woakes 26) England lead by 233 So Kemar Roach has a go, but the result is a similar looking soup. A drive and a cut from Woakes takes England past 400.

4.25pm BST

118th over: England 394-7 ( Moeen Ali 47, Woakes 18) England lead by 225

4.23pm BST

117th over: England 391-7 ( Moeen Ali 47, Woakes 16) Moeen drives gloriously for four, then uppercuts for four off a no-ball and finishes off with a crisp, flourishing cover drive to the boundary. The West Indies body language says “bewildered”

4.18pm BST

116th over: England 376-7 ( Moeen Ali 33, Woakes 16) England lead by 192 Oh West Indies. More calamity. Moeen is caught cutting off Bishoo’s first ball of the over, but it is no-ball. Only just, but only just enough. Then, Holder calls for a review of an lbw decision - which it turns out is spinning past leg.

4.11pm BST

115th over: England 374-7 ( Moeen Ali 32, Woakes 16) Shannon Gabriel attempts to restore some common sense at the other end, bustling and bristling, but a couple of full tosses and a no-ball rather spoil the tone. And there’s a gorgeous drive for four by Woakes and a flick off the pads to the boundary by Moeen.

4.04pm BST

114th over: England 361-7 ( Moeen Ali 27, Woakes 9) England lead by 192 A slightly off the wall bowling change from West Indies as part-time offspinner Kraigg Brathwaite, whose action was quibbled after Edgbaston, opens the bowling after tea. First ball is a loopy full toss thwacked for four by Moeen. “Is he bowling for a declaration?” asks Ian Ward.A loopy, full toss thwacked for four by Moeen. The over improves, slightly.

4.00pm BST

If you can tear your attention away from the Test for a minute - it is a fascinating day in the Championship. A mile away from this very sitting room, Haseeb Hameed will shortly be batting against Warwickshire. And at Chelmsford, top of the table Essex are stumbling against struggling Somerset. Read all about it here!

3.51pm BST

113th over: England 357-7 ( Moeen Ali 23, Woakes 9) England lead by 188 Well, that was a bit of an unexpected adrenaline boost. A wicket cascade has left West Indies in with a chance and yet... if Moeen hangs around... Over on Sky, Athers and SirIan think England have enough.

Just the thought of the myriad possibilities has put a boiiiiing and a spring in Robert Wilson’s step, “Bangladesh thumping the Aussies, the West Indies coming right back at ya, is it just me or does the world seem suddenly young and fresh again? I feel like singing songs or strewing daisies around the sunlit meadows.”

3.41pm BST

113th over: England 357-7 ( Moeen Ali 23, Woakes 9) England lead by 188 The lesser-spotted Bishoo comes on for the last over before tea and tight it is.

3.38pm BST

112th over: England 356-7 ( Moeen Ali 22, Woakes 9) England lead by 187 Moeen thwacks the first ball of Roach’s over for 4 -high over backward point. Lovely!

3.34pm BST

111th over: England 351-7 ( Moeen Ali 17, Woakes 9) England lead by 178.

“Afternoon Tanya.” writes Guy Hornsby. Hello! “What a time to join us, eh. I love YJB as much as the next OBOer, but that was a true brain fade. Getting on top of the bowler doesn’t have to be that brazen. You do have to wonder how much stick Moeen would’ve got had he done that? This is on a knife edge now, with these two needing clear-headed batting, not the brash swinging bravado of one of the West Stand faithful. Anything under 230 just won’t be enough. Pessimism ahoy!”

3.31pm BST

110th over: England 347-7 ( Moeen Ali 15, Woakes 7) England lead by 178. Kemar Roach replaces Holder at the Kirkstall Lane End. Moeen slaps it through the covers for four. Thwack! And another boundary, this one a clip off the hip.

3.26pm BST

109th over: England 339-7 ( Moeen Ali 7, Woakes 7) A slog-sweep from Moeen for four off Chase - neither of these batsmen are going to hang around twiddling their thumbs. England lead by 170

Liam again, on ironing: “I wouldn’t mind but I then tried to finish off a third and Bairstow. Stopping now.”

3.22pm BST

108th over: England 333-7 ( Moeen Ali 2, Woakes 6 ) Holder chugging away, keeping Woakes guessing, playing and missing. And then a classy Woakesean on-drive which runs down to the boundary for four.

3.18pm BST

107th over: England 328-7 ( Moeen Ali 2, Woakes 1 ) England lead by 159. Oh Jonny - he’d just played two beautiful strokes and I was going to wax lyrical on how many runs he has scored for Yorkshire at Headingley over the last few years.

3.15pm BST

Oh no! He tries to reverse sweep Chase from outside leg and drags the ball on. Yikes.

3.11pm BST

106th over: England 323-6 (Bairstow 14, Moeen Ali 2) Another one down - this time Bairstow dropped by Kyle Hope at short cover off Holder. Tricky, but West Indies needed it.

“Bloody hell I only started doing the ironing 10mins ago and there has been two wickets” writes Liam Bergin.
“Creased shirt tomorrow, it’s a sign”
But of what Liam? Of what?

3.07pm BST

105th over: England 316-6 (Bairstow 9, Moeen Ali 0) Ohhh, this is fascinating, Chase to Moeen, some big turn here.

3.05pm BST

104th over: England 316-6 (Bairstow 9, Moeen Ali 0 ) Four byes as a ball from Holder bounces and swings past the diving Dowrich

3.03pm BST

103rd over: England 312-6 (Bairstow 9, Moeen Ali 0 ) Poor Malan - not done quite enough to save the game, not done quite enough to guarantee his tour place. Watchee, waitee.

3.00pm BST

Malan perhaps unsettled by uneven bounce earlier in the over, bowled playing inside an off-break. Game on?

2.57pm BST

102nd over: England 312-5 (Malan 61, Bairstow 9) Beautiful extra-cover drive by Bairstow for four off Holder from a man who will be desperate to do well here. And again, a lovely little four off his toes.

2.53pm BST

101st over: England 304-5 (Malan 61, Bairstow 1) The wicket fell to the first ball after drinks, but will it be too late for West Indies to grab the match?

2.51pm BST

Stokes caught at long off going for a big hit, a cool, cool catch by Brathwaite just inside the boundary

2.47pm BST

And thank you so much Rob, lucky I made you odd cup of tea during your work experience stint, back in the day. Turned out my technical issues were that the remote needed new batteries - which feels a bit like the sort of problem the West Indies might have had this afternoon. Sky have England 50% chance of a win, West Indies 10%, and a draw sneaking up to 40%

2.43pm BST

100th over: England 303-4 (Malan 61, Stokes 58) Holder jags one back into Stokes, who is hit near a painful area again. That’s drinks.

“Hi Rob,” says Brendon O’Sullivan. “Having tried Cloudwater’s fantastic double IPA at Birmingham’s marvellous 1000 Trades bar last month (at half that price), I’d say it’s worth it. But it was their alternative 80s night, Now Ham, and the dj had just dropped “The Killing Moon”, so I was a bit emotional to begin with. Keep up the fairly good work!”

2.40pm BST

99th over: England 302-4 (Malan 61, Stokes 57) Roston Chase replaces Gabriel. Nothing happens. Pulitzer please!

2.35pm BST

98th over: England 300-4 (Malan 60, Stokes 56) The captain Jason Holder stands alone on the burning deck. He bowls a good maiden to Stokes, with one delivery going past the outside edge. What he really needs, however, is a wicket or six. This is slipping away.

“Re Martin Phillips complaint about ‘2nd new ball’,” begins Paul Ward. “Does he not share my pain when the OBO keeps saying ‘1 new update’ when updates are by definition new?”

2.31pm BST

97th over: England 300-4 (Malan 60, Stokes 56) Stokes has broken his bat. He looks genuinely upset, as if he’s already planning whereabouts in the back garden to bury his best friend. Parting with your bat is such sweet sorrow: Stokes belts his first delivery with the replacement bat for four to reach a sensational fifty, full of authority and extravagant strokeplay. The next ball is too straight and flicked for four more, and then Malan smashes a boundary to make it 13 from the over - and bring up the 300. England lead by 131, and West Indies are starting to drown in fatalism.

2.25pm BST

96th over: England 287-4 (Malan 56, Stokes 47) Sound the demerit poiunt klaxon! Ian Ward, on Sky, apologies for some language coming through to the stump mic. I’m not sure who it was but presumably one of the West Indies players. Jason Holder has replaced Roach, who picked a bad time to bowl a bad spell, and beats Malan with a very full delivery that misbehaves out of the footholes.

“Have you seen the price of this beer?” says Sam. “GBP13.40 a pint!”

2.19pm BST

95th over: England 285-4 (Malan 54, Stokes 47) Stokes rams Gabriel’s attempted yorker whence it came for four. The next ball, another attempted yorker, elicits an even better shot through mid-on for four.. This has been a brilliant innings from Stokes, an immaculately judged fusion of positive attack and positive defence. And the moment I type that, he is beaten on the inside by a significant jaffa from Gabriel. That only just missed the off bail.

“Hello Rob,” says Martin Phillips. “Am I the only one (answer, very probably, yes) to be bothered when pundits talk about ‘the second new ball’? The first ball used in an innings is by definition going to be new, so really it’s just ‘the ball’. Once 80 overs have been bowled, the option comes of taking a “new ball”, so it shouldn’t be the second new ball, or even the first new ball, just... the new ball. Is there, perhaps, a sound reason for this?”

2.12pm BST

94th over: England 275-4 (Malan 54, Stokes 39) A flowing drive from Malan off Roach brings him a sixth boundary. He doesn’t need Junior Soprano to tell him how close he is to going on an Ashes tour. A century would seal his place - this isn’t 1998 - and I suspect 80-odd might as well. But if he falls for 79, it’s over between us.

Roach isn’t bowling well, and I suspect Holder will replace him at this end. England lead by 106.

2.06pm BST

93rd over: England 269-4 (Malan 50, Stokes 38) That’s a great point from Nasser, via someone on Twitter: had Stokes sworn when he was hit in the box, would he have been given a demerit point and therefore banned? Back at the ranch, Malan reaches a gritty, 162-ball fifty with an inside-edge for a single off Gabriel. Well battled, youngish man.

Meanwhile, after another terrific day’s play in Mirpur, Bangladesh have a great chance of a first Test win over Australia.

2.03pm BST

92nd over: England 268-4 (Malan 49, Stokes 38) Stokes walks onto a wide, full-length delivery from Roach and punches a lovely drive through extra cover for four. Stokes now averages exactly 40 since the end of last summer, which is excellent given the game-changing nature of his runs. If you go back to the start of 2016, which includes the 258, he averages 45.

Here’s

your friend and mine,
Ian Copestake “Talking of technical issues, I am attempting to follow the game while editing the next issue of the William Carlos Williams Review (imagine editing the New Yorker in your pants [not your pants, Rob, obviously] in a bedsit with no staff while being abused online by Mac Millings et al). So I want to state publicly that any typos, factual errors or inclusion of inadvertent references to cricket are entirely the fault of Ben Stokes.”

1.58pm BST

91st over: England 264-4 (Malan 49, Stokes 34) Malan hooks Gabriel for a single to bring up the fifty partnership. Although Stokes has been the dominant partner, Malan’s innings is becoming increasingly valuable as a platform from some lower middle order bish-bosh.

Here’s an email from Project B. “Check out what’s going down and coming up at PROJECT B...”

1.55pm BST

90th over: England 260-4 (Malan 46, Stokes 33) Roach is picking a bad time to spray the ball all over the place, and there are no alarms for England in that over.

“Hello Rob,” says Bill Vincent. “I can’t see why Root’s conversion rate matters. He averages 54, and has made well over 5000 runs in under 60 Tests. Plus he’s only 26, so has at least a decade’s Test cricket ahead of him. In short, he’s well on track to becoming England’s most prolific ever batsman. All done with style, much of it under the pressure of coming in at the inevitable 35 for two, and at a scoring rate that often makes his runs decisive. Better that, surely, that getting a century every ten Tests, but 10s and 20s between them, at a conversion rate of 100%. One other thing, the far more important issue of beer prices. When I arrived at University (In a long lost Sheffield of steel mills, smoky pubs and barmen who called a 16 stone prop-forward - me - “love”) a pint of Newcastle Brown was 25p in the Hall bar. Happy for a quid, blotto for two quid, in A&E for three quid. Happy days - eat your livers out, kiddies.”

1.51pm BST

89th over: England 259-4 (Malan 45, Stokes 33) Shannon Gabriel, all muscle and bustle, charges in to Stokes, who defends carefully. His bowling hasn’t really kicked on - he’s still the occasional match-changer he was in 2015 - but he is a serious Test batsman now. Even the greatest are not exempt from the cheap comedy that occurs when they are hit flush in the box, however, and that’s what has just happened to Stokes. A good over from Gabriel is tarnished when a misfield from Holder at mid-off gives Stokes four runs.

1.45pm BST

88th over: England 255-4 (Malan 45, Stokes 29) Kemar Roach has just bowled an iffy first over with the second new ball, including a poor delivery that Malan pulled round the corner for four.

1.45pm BST

Hello, Rob again. Tanya is having technical issues, so I’m stepping in for a minute. My gain is your loss.

1.43pm BST

West Indies are going to take the second new ball.

1.07pm BST

Tanya Aldred, one of the golden generation of young cricket writers at Wisden Cricket Monthly in the early 2000s (Tanya, Booth, Emma John, Simon Briggs, Christian Ryan, Peter English, somebody I’ve offended by momentarily forgetting them), will be with you straight after lunch. You can email her on tanya.aldred.freelance@theguardian.com. Bye!

1.01pm BST

86th over: England 251-4 (Malan 41, Stokes 29) Bishoo’s last over before lunch goes for a couple. That’s been an excellent session for England, despite the loss of Joe Root. Dawid Malan played like Chris Tavare, scoring 20 runs in the session, and Ben Stokes played like Ben Stokes to take England’s lead up to a useful 82. The afternoon session, when West Indies will take the second new ball, is likely to decide the match, and possibly the series.

12.58pm BST

86th over: England 249-4 (Malan 40, Stokes 28) We’ll have one last over before lunch, after which West Indies will surely take the second new ball.

“Rob,” says John Starbuck. “On TMS Aggers is bemoaning his broken boiler. This was preceded by Boycott delegating all household tasks to his housekeeper, but as she is unlikely to drive down the A1 to fix it, Aggers intends to go to the pub to find a short-notice plumber (his regular guy being away in Wales). This sounds like an excellent excuse for getting a drink or two, no matter what a pint costs, but one suspects it’s more likely to work in the country rather than a town or city. Dating aside, would you go out to a city bar?”

12.55pm BST

85th over: England 248-4 (Malan 40, Stokes 27) Stokes is looking dangerous. When doesn’t he? Bishoo drops short again and is flashed through midwicket for four. He has bowled too many fourballs, which have obscured the wicket-threatening deliveries - like that, a good legspinner that Stokes inside-edges for a single.

“I think we can easily explain the Root Conversion dilemma based on the wrongheadedness of expecting adherence to a decimal system,” says Michael Hunt. “Fifty and a hundred are relatively arbitrary scores given importance based on using a rounded 10 as key. If we move instead to a much more sensible duodecimal system and so look at conversion rates from 36 to 72, we see that the perfect conversion of this innings sits Joe on I make it a 56% conversion rate, compared to Smith (52), Kohli (50), and Williamson (50).”

12.53pm BST

84th over: England 242-4 (Malan 39, Stokes 22) Chase beats Stokes with a beauty that drifts in and spits away. There is plenty in this pitch for the spinners, as has often been the case at Headingley in recent times. Stokes knows that being beaten is an occupational hazard and it isn’t affecting his attacking approach. When he gets a straighter delivery from Chase, he crashes a sweep through midwicket for four. England lead by 73. I think they’ll win this now, perhaps by a biggish margin.

12.50pm BST

83rd over: England 237-4 (Malan 39, Stokes 17) Malan, caught in umpteen minds, almost drags Bishoo back onto the stumps. The next ball is a long hop and hammered into the leg of the man at short leg. He’s fine, although the incident gives a bit of a shudder to those who recall Nick Knight wearing one on the head at silly point in 1995.

“I don’t want to talk about Roots converstion rate,” says Felix Wood, subtly making that point by misspelling conversion and omitting Root’s possessive apostrophe. “It is, however, astonishing that he can have such a good average with so many runs left on the ground, as it so often feels. But I could talk about Thorpe all day long. One of my favourite things about him was that he decided to bat left handed just because his brothers batted right handed. I used to long to be good enough at batting to be able to copy his marking of his gaurd with the bail, but as I usually only lasted a ball or so I think it would have invited too much ridicule. Ah, memories.”

12.46pm BST

82nd over: England 236-4 (Malan 38, Stokes 17) Roston Chase comes on to replace Holder and rips one out of the rough to beat Stokes’s attempted sweep. As Mike Atherton says on Sky, it’s fair enough to delay the second new ball until after lunch, when Roach and Gabriel will have had a rest. It’s such a pivotal moment in the series, and the last thing you want is them to bowl four weary overs for 30 before lunch.

In other news, a plot just thickened. “Hi Rob,” says Ben Parker. “In response to Mr Millard (71st over) asking about the price of t’pint at that fancy Lords I am pleased to confirm that it is indeed much more than ooop norf. I found this on their new-fandangled internet site: ‘Revisionist Craft Lager, Stowford Press Cider, New World Pale Ale, Marston’s Pedigree and other guest ales from £5.20’. Yours in regional stereotyping.”

12.42pm BST

81st over: England 234-4 (Malan 38, Stokes 15) Bishoo continues, nothing happens. Here’s Ian Copestake, and by heck is he feeling mindful. “For Test matches to engage with the people who matter (namely flush hipsters) there should be an alcohol ban and a focus on wholewheat snacks grown organically on the practice pitches. Make England healthy again.”

12.38pm BST

80th over: England 233-4 (Malan 38, Stokes 14) It’s hard to judge this Malan innings. The half-full argument says he has shown impressive character and restraint; the half-empty argument says he is strokeless, was out early on and dropped this morning. The new ball is due but it looks like West Indies will continue with the old one until lunch.

“It was £3.50 a pint in the bar under The Tavern Stand,” writes ‘Steve Hudson, debunking stereotypes since 1961.’

12.34pm BST

79th over: England 231-4 (Malan 36, Stokes 14) “Dear Rob,” says Robert Wilson. “Has there ever been a less charismatic or sexually attractive statement than your ‘God, I love stats.’ (63rd over). Best laugh I’ve had in months. Thanks. I know that it’s a magical, surprising and infinitely complex world we live in but even if you were an unholy mix of Ryan Gosling, Brad Pitt and Zayn Malik, when your eyes meet those of some toothsome damsel over the shimmering candle-light (after an evening of perfect cooking and kitten-rescuing) and you say God, I love stats, the night just isn’t going to pan out as you hoped.”

You clearly weren’t at Data Night 2017. It was like Eyes Wide Shut in there! Without the boring bits!

12.32pm BST

78th over: England 230-4 (Malan 35, Stokes 14) There’s a good battle going on between Holder and Stokes. Holder is changing his angle of delivery; Stokes is changing his position on the crease, standing outside to some deliveries. It’s a maiden. The new ball is due in two overs’ time. That’s the game and the series, right there. We haven’t really talked about the state of the series. It’s as if we’re all assuming England will win the third Test by an innings regardless of what happens here!

“Confirming a stereotype is all in a day’s work,” says Jon Millard. “And if we have overpriced North/South beer parity, then the Grauniad’s Job is done. Root dismissal a horror show.....sound of sucking teeth between shot and catch nearly gave me tinnitus. Never mind, In 45 quid’s time I won’t care...”

12.28pm BST

77th over: England 230-4 (Malan 35, Stokes 14) Bishoo has a biggish shout for LBW against Stokes turned down. Stokes was beaten on the inside but had gone so far across that he was hit outside the line of off stump. When Bishoo then tosses one up towards the rough, Stokes reaches out and clatters it down the ground for four. That’s another superb stroke. Malan and Stokes then steal a second run to take England’s lead to 61.

“Last year the Marston’s Pedigree in the Tavern at Lord’s was £3.50,” says Steve Hudson. “So there.”

12.24pm BST

76th over: England 223-4 (Malan 33, Stokes 9) Malan belted 78 from 44 balls on his T20 debut against South Africa. In Tests he has been the opposite, with a strike rate in the 30s rather than the 170s. In this innings he has 33 from 116 balls.

“I’m sure I’m not the first to point out that the obvious reason for Joe Root’s poor conversion rate is that you keep jinxing him by talking about it,” thunders Mac Millings. You wouldn’t like him when he’s angry!

12.20pm BST

75th over: England 223-4 (Malan 33, Stokes 9) Stokes edges a quicker delivery from Bishoo just short of slip. There is no sense that both teams are waiting for the second new ball; Bishoo looks a threat.

12.19pm BST

74th over: England 222-4 (Malan 32, Stokes 9) That’s a stunning shot from Stokes, a short-arm pull for four off a ball from Holder that kept a bit low. He does play some unique, almost Pietersenian shots; there was another against Australia in the Champions Trophy that had Virat Kohli purring and tweeting.

“Am sat in a play-gym wondering if I i ever see my three year old again so I don’t have the stats to hand,” begins Nick Goldspink, “but isn’t the conversion rate problem due to the fact that his rate of scoring 50s is exceptional - something close to 50 50 scores in a little over 100 innings...it would be Bradmanesque to convert 50% of that many....”

12.14pm BST

73rd over: England 218-4 (Malan 32, Stokes 5) This is only Bishoo’s tenth over a match in which, thus far, he has played as a specialist nightwatchman. It’s a decent one, most of which is defended solidly by Malan.

“Morning Rob,” says Simon McMahon. “This is shaping up to be a gripping Test match. As is the one in Dhaka. Not that I’m following them closely or anything. Working, you see. Working. (Insert winking emoji here).”

12.14pm BST

12.09pm BST

72nd over: England 217-4 (Malan 32, Stokes 4) Holder is bowling superbly around the wicket to the left-handers, getting the ball to tail away from a line that makes any leave fraught with peril. Malan is beaten, following one such delivery.

“Just from you mentioning Thorpey, I remember his struggles to convert fifties,” says Gareth Fitzgerald. “In his early career there were plenty of counter-attacking 60’s and 70’s (his front leg off the ground pull shot was awesome) and then he totally changed in the second part of his career (bad back?) Would love to see a grizzled Joe Root in ten years time making nurdled, crab-like hundreds with only one boundary. I’d take one today in fact...”

12.06pm BST

71st over: England 217-4 (Malan 32, Stokes 4) Bishoo comes into the attack and gets some sharp turn into the new batsman Stokes. He has improved enormously against spin but he still isn’t that comfortable starting against it when the ball is turning. Bishoo generously gives him one off the mark - or rather four, a long hop that is slaughtered to cow corner. It almost went for six.

“Regarding Matthew Doherty’s wish...does Stokes get to be Botham or Dilley?” says Jon Millard. “Incidentally, I’m a Yorkshireman at Test cricket for the first time in my life. In Yorkshire. £4.50 a pint. What is it at Lord’s?”

12.00pm BST

70th over: England 213-4 (Malan 32, Stokes 0) Jason Holder replaces the slightly wayward Kemar Roach, now with two left-handers in his sights. And Malan has been dropped! Oh, madon, the West Indies have had a shocker in the field. Malan had a big, loose drive and edged it straight to first slip, where it was put down by the crouching Powell. In his defence, he was probably put off by Dowrich, who dived a long way and then withdrew from the catch. That was not the time for a keeper to dummy his first slip, however adroitly he did it. In his defence, the ball did start to swing away at the last minute. Maybe it wasn’t quite the shemozzle we first thought.

11.56am BST

69th over: England 212-4 (Malan 32, Stokes 0) That was really well bowled from Gabriel, who has had such a good match. Root shaped to lift it over the cordon but it followed him and left him with no room to control the shot. England lead by 43.

“Using your immense archives of cricket knowledge and actuarial stats abilities,” begins Ben Parker, mistaking me for someone, anyone else, “can you tell me if a tenner on Windies to win at 4-1 is a good bet?”

11.52am BST

Joe Root has gone! He was cramped for room by Gabriel and steered the ball to gully, where Shai Hope almost muffed a simple chance before grabbing it at the 48th attempt. Root can barely drag himself from the field. That is a mighty wicket for the West Indies.

11.48am BST

68th over: England 212-3 (Root 72, Malan 32) Root strongarms an attempted yorker from Roach through midwicket for four, is bowled by a dead ball - no controversy, he wasn’t ready and pulled away - and then flicks another boundary to move into the seventies. It was always likely that, in the short-term, the captaincy would have a positive impact on Root’s batting. Even so, 727 runs at 72.70 represents a fine summer’s work, even if that bloody conversion rate continues to put an asterisk against his achievements.

“I think there are many factors influencing a player’s conversion rate aside from the individual merit of the batsman,” says Jonathan Gresty. “One thing I would say in Joe Root’s defence is that he knows he has a lot of good batsmen coming in after him. So if the team needs to chase a game or go on the attack, he knows he can take risks which the batsmen with higher conversion rates might not take. Perhaps the fact that he puts the team ahead of his own run-scoring ambitions is one of the key reasons - for which we should definitely cut him some slack.”

11.43am BST

67th over: England 203-3 (Root 63, Malan 32) Gabriel swings one down the leg side for a bye, with Dowrich acrobatically saving three runs. The next ball is a wide. Holder might have to bring himself on sooner than anticipated, because Roach and Gabriel have been more Jackson Pollock than Shaun Pollock this morning.

Malan takes a dodgy single to mid-off and has to dive desperately to make his ground as Holder’s throw whistles past the stumps. He has an even bigger scare off the last ball of the over, flciking it just over the leaping square leg for four.

11.35am BST

66th over: England 195-3 (Root 62, Malan 27) Roach has been too wide to Malan, who is playing only when absolutely necessary. It’s like watching Alastair Cook. Roach gets the last ball spot on, a superb awayswinger that goes past the edge.

“Hello Rob,” says Matthew Doherty. “In answer to Joe Root’s low conversion rate compared to the other batsmen is that England are 20 for 3 when he comes in to bat.”

11.30am BST

65th over: England 195-3 (Root 62, Malan 27) Root walks across his stumps to clip Gabriel through midwicket for four. That also brings up the hundred partnership. These are slightly ominous signs for West Indies, though the wicket of Root would change everything.

11.25am BST

64th over: England 189-3 (Root 57, Malan 26) Roach goes around the wicket to the largely strokeless Malan. It’s another maiden, better than the first, though I was a bit distracted by Mikey Holding, who is ranting majestically about everything from the West Indies’ fields to the underuse of Devendra Bishoo.

“Hello Rob,” says Matthew Doherty. “Is it tempting fate for Bairstow and Stokes to do a Botham and Dilley this afternoon?”

11.22am BST

63rd over: England 189-3 (Root 57, Malan 26) Root pulls Gabriel through backward square leg for four before being beaten by two superb full-length deliveries. Root will be desperate to make a hundred today for a few reasons. It’s his first close Test as captain, on his home ground. And then there’s that pesky conversation rate of fifties to hundreds: 28 per cent, which compares unfavourably to his peers. Virat Kohli’s is 55, Steve Smith’s 50 and Kane Williamson’s 40. It’s hard to find a reason for it. Maybe it has become self-perpetuating in the last year or so because the problem is getting worse rather than better: since the end of the 2015 Ashes, Root’s conversion rate is 21 per cent. God I love stats.

11.16am BST

62nd over: England 185-3 (Root 53, Malan 26) A poor maiden from Roach to Malan, the kind Alan Mullally used to bowl on a bad day, with the radar all over the place.

11.12am BST

61st over: England 185-3 (Root 53, Malan 26) A no-ball from Gabriel is punched down the ground for four by Malan. He hasn’t looked convincing in his short Test career, in truth, yet that won’t matter if he gets a score today. A big innings would surely secure a place in the Ashes squad.

11.04am BST

60th over: England 179-3 (Root 53, Malan 21) Kemar Roach opens the bowling to Joe Root. To say Root is a big wicket today is like saying oxygen is a useful survival tool. He reaches the usual fifty with a couple of boundaries between the slips and gully. The first was deliberately played, the second a thick edge through the gap.

10.35am BST

The Dan Lucas Memorial Cup Dan’s girlfriend Liz has asked me to thank everyone who went to or supported his memorial match last weekend. It was a great success, with £1310 raised on the day and the kind of feelgood athletic ineptitude you would expect from Guardian readers. Andrew Miller, UK Editor of Cricinfo and aspiring stand-up comedian, has written a very funny match report here.

10.32am BST

Pre-play reading

9.41pm BST

Hello there. After five one-sided Tests, finally a contest. For the first time this summer we go into the fourth day with no real idea who’s going to win. England will resume on 171 for three - a precious lead of, erm, two - with Joe Root on 45 and Dawid Malan on 21. It was hard work yesterday evening, but the labours of England’s batsmen have given their flammable lower middle order something to work with.

If England win, it will be only the fifth time they have done so after a first-innings deficit in excess of 150. A West Indies victory would be their first in England since 2000, and only their fourth away to a team other than Zimbabwe or Bangladesh since 1997. All told, this should be quite a day.

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Published on August 28, 2017 10:22

August 26, 2017

Manchester United 2-0 Leicester City: Premier League – as it happened

The substitutes Marcus Rashford and Marouane Fellaini broke Leicester down in the final quarter after Kasper Schmeichel saved a Romelu Lukaku penalty

7.22pm BST

That’s it. Manchester United continue their intimidating start to the season with another win and another clean sheet. They had to work hard against an admirable Leicester defence before the substitutes Marcus Rashford and Marouane Fellaini settled the match. Thanks for your company, night!

7.21pm BST

90+4 min Lukaku almost gets his goal, hitting a close-range shot that is deflected over the bar by the stretching Morgan. Great defending.

7.20pm BST

90+3 min De Gea makes a terrific late save from King, who diverted Gray’s low cross towards goal from barely five yards. De Gea spread himself to divert it wide with a stiff right leg.

7.17pm BST

90 min There will be four minutes of added time.

7.15pm BST

88 min James is booked for scything down Rashford, who made a great 50-yard run from the left.

7.13pm BST

86 min “Hi Rob,” says Peter Oh. “Does seeing Rashford & Simpson square off remind anyone else of this rock-solid radio hit from yesteryear?”

It does now!

7.12pm BST

85 min Six of United’s ten league goals this season have come from the 80th minute onwards.

7.10pm BST

Lingard made a great run behind the defence, came back inside Morgan and hit a shot that was kneed into the net by Fellaini. I don’t know how much Fellaini knew about it. I do knew he looked fractionally offside, so Leicester might have been hard done by there. It’s been a good day for Jose Mourinho though: two of his substitutes scored, and the other made the second goal.

7.09pm BST

United are going back to the top of the table.

7.08pm BST

82 min “It’s surely been said but this United team is almost a straight copy of Chelsea ‘05,” says Arthur Tee. “All Bailly needs is curly hair.”

I’d say this United team is a bit more technical, and nowhere near as good. Take your point though, there are loads of similarities.

7.08pm BST

81 min United are comfortable at the moment, killing time through the age-old method of passing the football to a team-mate.

7.07pm BST

80 min United are ten minutes away from a third consecutive clean sheet. They were solid even before Matic, so you can’t imagine that will be a problem area for them this season. It’s a much better defence on the pitch than on paper, which reflects well on Mourinho.

7.04pm BST

77 min “Afternoon Rob,” says Adam Roberts. “Yes, it was a harsh penalty; yes, it was poor effort from Lukaku. But why have referees completely stopped judging the goalkeepers’ adherence to the rules on penalties? It was as if Schmeichel was charging down a conversion in rugby.”

He was well off his line, it’s true.

7.03pm BST

76 min Leicester make their final substitution too, with Slimani replacing Vardy.

7.02pm BST

75 min United’s final change: Jesse Lingard replaces Anthony Martial, who was a sporadic but considerable threat, particularly when he ran at Simpson.

7.02pm BST

74 min Mkhitaryan comes off to be replaced by Marouane Fellaini. He makes an immediate impact with a strong header forward to Lukaku, who runs at the last man Morgan before smashing the ball over the bar from 20 yards.

6.58pm BST

It’s another assist for Mkhitaryan, an outswinging corner that was missed by everyone at the near post. Rashford, left alone 10 yards out by Ndidi, swung his right foot instinctively and the ball kicked off the pitch before going through the diving Schmeichel.

6.57pm BST

Marcus Rashford won the corner, and now he’s scored from it.

6.57pm BST

70 min Pogba plays a great pass to the overlapping Rashford, whose fierce low cross is blocked by the superb Maguire.

6.56pm BST

69 min “As wonderful a story as Leicester’s title win was, it was ruined for me by Robert Huth,” chirps Matt Dolny. “Comfortably my least favourite footballer. I have an irrational level of dislike for him. Even when he’s not playing, his very association with the club makes me want them to lose. Except, they’re playing United. Who I also want to lose. Yet another frustrating Saturday night, bound to end in disappointment. It’s like I’m 19 again.”

6.55pm BST

68 min United have been quite flat since missing the penalty, with Leicester posing a greater threat on the counter-attack. Craig Shakespeare might be a future England manager, you know.

6.54pm BST

67 min A United substitution: Marcus Rashford on, Juan Mata off.

6.54pm BST

66 min The little genius Mahrez is really straight to threaten. He sends Blind off to another postcode with a lovely dragback before rifling the ball right across the face of goal.

6.53pm BST

65 min We haven’t seen Harry Maguire marauding forward today. What we have seen, as Owen Hargreaves points out on BT Sport, is that he is a bloody good defender.

6.52pm BST

64 min What a chance for Leicester! Gray broke forward, with Mahrez in a wonderful position to his right, but his through pass was late and overhit. Mahrez still managed to manufacture a shot, which was blocked by Jones, but with a better pass he’d have had a one-on-one.

6.50pm BST

63 min Mkhitaryan fizzes a penetrative angled pass into Martial, who is superbly tackled in the box by Morgan.

6.50pm BST

62 min Leicester have had a very narrow defence, happy for United to cross towards Morgan and Maguire. So far it has worked very well. Maguire in particular has had a fine game.

6.48pm BST

61 min “Rob!” says Iloti Mutoka. “FM 2017 has it at Matic as DM/MC and Herrera as a M/AMC. Incidentally, it says Utd are 11th because I haven’t started the season yet and that Herrera’s morale is good, to Matic’s Very Good. Maybe Mourinho is is looking at that, too.”

6.47pm BST

60 min A double change for Leicester: Demarai Gray for Albrighton, and Andy King for Okazaki. That should mean a switch to 4-3-3-.

6.46pm BST

59 min Mahrez dances beautifully past Jones and into the box, only for the ball to hit his standing foot as he shapes to shoot. It dribbles wide, but without that unwitting touch he’d have had a great chance.

6.43pm BST

56 min Simpson is really struggling to deal with Martial, who wins another corner. It’s cleared and Leicester break dangerously. Eventually Mahrez slithers away from Jones and rattles an early shot from a tight angle that is kicked away by De Gea.

6.42pm BST

55 min Bailly bumps Albrighton over 25 yards from goal, and again Michael Oliver surprisingly gives no foul.

6.41pm BST

54 min Mkhitaryan is booked for fouling Mahrez, who danced past him on a rare Leicester break.

6.39pm BST

It was a poor penalty from Lukaku, hit with pace but telegraphed and nowhere near the corner. Schmeichel dived to his right to push it away. Leicester will feel that justice has been done. There were maybe five yards between Martial and Simpson, but Simpson did not move his hand towards the ball.

6.38pm BST

Martial’s cross hits the hand of Simpson, and Michael Oliver gives a penalty. I think that’s a bit harsh.

6.37pm BST

50 min Leicester are defending so deep. Lukaku rolls Maguire on the line of the box and goes over after a bit of contact. Maguire put hands on him but I’m not sure there was enough for a penalty.

6.35pm BST

48 min Both teams have good attacking options on the bench: Rashford, Fellaini, Lingard, Slimani, Iheanacho, Gray.

6.32pm BST

46 min Peep peep! Leicester begin the second half, kicking from right to left on my screen.

6.25pm BST

“Re Herrera v Matic: different players,” says Paul Ewart. “Herrera may have more quality but Matic is a specialist. Simple as that isn’t it?”

Yep! In Football Manager terms, Matic is a DMC, Herrera is an MC. I assume they still define players like that, anyway. I haven’t actually played it since the Tonton Zola Moukoko years.

6.17pm BST

Peep peep! Attack and defence, invasion and repulsion ... the last 30 minutes of that half were like a training session. Yet for all United’s dominance and bright football, not to mention the series of heatseekers that came off Paul Pogba’s right foot, Kasper Schmeichel didn’t have that much to do. See you in 10 minutes for the second half.

6.15pm BST

45 min Pogba is bumped over in the D by Okazaki, but Michael Oliver plays on. Seconds earlier, Lukaku took down Valencia’s cross in the area - possibly with his arm - before being crowded out.

6.13pm BST

43 min Matic, Bailly and Pogba have all had excellent halves.

6.11pm BST

41 min Blind’s flat cross is headed well wide by Lukaku, who was under pressure from Maguire. That came from another excellent crossfield reacher from Pogba.

6.10pm BST

40 min Leicester started the game really well but they’ve been unable to keep the ball in the last 20 minutes or so.

6.07pm BST

37 min Maguire is penalised for wrestling Lukaku to the floor 25 yards from goal. Pogba hits the free-kick into the top of the wall.

6.06pm BST

36 min “You have to feel for Herrera a little, being out of the side despite being the outstanding player last year,” says David Wall. “Do you really think that Matic does that much that he couldn’t do? Would you agree with people who say that that signing was the moment United crossed the Rubicon to become real title challengers?”

Arf. Yes, Matic is much better in that particular position. Herrera will get plenty of games alongside Matic though, particularly the big ones.

6.05pm BST

35 min Pogba has a bit of room 30 yards out and belts an excellent low shot just wide of the left post. Schmeichel, who I think was unsighted, wouldn’t have got to it.

6.04pm BST

35 min Matic and Mata combine to find Pogba, whose fierce shot from a tight angle is beaten away by Schmeichel.

6.04pm BST

34 min United are thumping on the door now, though Leicester have generally restricted them to long-range efforts.

6.02pm BST

33 min “Zlatan could play a different role upon his return,” says Jens Koch. “Some of his best matches for Sweden before he retired from the international scene, was as a number ten, playing behind the main striker. He was such a joy to watch in that role. If he has lost (even more) pace after the injury, then that withdrawn role is one where he could still be influential.”

Yes, good point. I think there are times, particularly late in games, when they will play two up front as well.

6.02pm BST

32 min Phil Jones goes on a demented charge from the back and collides with Simpson on the edge of the box. Michael Oliver says play on. Mourinho isn’t happy, though I’m not sure how Simpson could have got out the way of the beast that was marauding towards him.

6.00pm BST

31 min Martial works Schmeichel with a well-struck shot from 25 yards. It was too straight and therefore a relatively comfortable save.

5.59pm BST

30 min Rubicon!

5.59pm BST

29 min Pogba again tries to provide some long-range razzmatazz. Goalkick.

5.57pm BST

28 min Pogba tries another long-range curler. It goes miles wide.

5.56pm BST

25 min The referee Sir Chris Foy, on BT Sport, reckons Mata was fractionally offside for that disallowed goal. I’m still not sure - it looked to me as if Morgan’s bum was playing him on, but there you go.

5.54pm BST

24 min Pogba runs onto the ball and hits a monstrous rising shot from 25 yards that beats Schmeichel and swerves just wide of the far post. United are certainly more exciting in attack than they have been for the last five years. I don’t know if you could call it sexy football, but it’s certainly pretty risque at times.

5.53pm BST

23 min James drives a ball over the top for Vardy, who takes it down and drags it across to the supporting Okazaki. He drives a decent low shot from 20 yards that is comfortably saved by the plunging De Gea.

5.52pm BST

21 min “That style guide section has some lovely words in it,” says Kari Tulinius. “Hopefully some of them will find their way to this minute-by-minute. It’ll be some game if you can make use the words razzmatazz, realpolitik, risque and Rubicon.”

5.50pm BST

20 min All of a sudden United are flying. Mata nutmegs Maguire and teases a curler towards the far corner that brings a fine save from Schmeichel, leaping to his right.

5.49pm BST

19 min That’s lovely play from United. Lukaku pushes it wide to Martial, who runs at Simpson and floats a gentle cross towards the far post. Pogba arrives round the back, stretches to volley back across goal, and the ball drifts just wide of the far post. He probably should have scored.

5.48pm BST

18 min Mata has a goal wrongly disallowed for offside. Lukaku made something out of nothing, turning to welt a low shot towards goal from inside the D. Schmeichel got down smartly but could only push it out in front of goal, and Mata followed up to score. Replays showed he was definitely onside, though it was tight.

5.47pm BST

17 min Vardy tries to run Bailly, and is made to realise his error when he is matched for speed and beaten for strength.

5.46pm BST

16 min It’s been a decent start, with neither side really on top. United are working their way into the game, particularly the creative hub of Pogba and Mkhitaryan.

5.42pm BST

12 min A free-kick is blasted 60 yards towards Vardy, who gets behind Jones and just fails to reach the ball before it bounces into the arms of De Gea. At the other end, Mkhitaryan loses Ndidi and hits a 25-yard shot that hits the hell of Morgan and loops into Schmeichel’s arms.

5.41pm BST

11 min United build up patiently on the right, until Valencia rakes a cross straight out of play on the other side of the pitch.

5.40pm BST

9 min The wandering Mahrez beats Blind with a fine turn, plays a give-and-go with Okazaki and is fouled by Bailly. He looks in the mood. The free-kick is dumped into the box towards Morgan, who is offside.

5.38pm BST

8 min Pogba sprays a lovely crossfield pass to Mata, whose cross is cleared by Morgan.

5.35pm BST

5 min This has been a good start from Leicester, who look bullish in possession. Their fans are making all kinds of noise as well.

5.34pm BST

4 min Matty James tries a curler from 25 yards. It drifts gently wide.

5.33pm BST

2 min “Does the Guardian style guide have anything to say about resigning and re-signing?” asks Lizz Poulter. “Thanks to David Wall’s opening line, I genuinely went off looking for the news that Ibrahimovic had quit, until I forced myself to ‘mispronounce’ resign. I know the preposition ‘for’ was a clue, but honestly, I didn’t understand. Say I wasn’t alone!”

Indeed it does (see ‘re/re-‘).

5.31pm BST

1 min A fast start from United, with Mkhitaryan almost scoring after 25 seconds. His low shot was blocked by Morgan.

5.30pm BST

1 min Peep peep! United kick off from right to left. They are in red; Leicester aer wearing blue.

5.28pm BST

The players emerge from the tunnel on a lovely sunny evening in Manchester. Let’s get this over with, then.

5.07pm BST

An email! “Reflecting on the news that Ibrahimovic has resigned for United, might his injury turn out to have been the best thing that could have happened last season, for the team although obviously not for him,” says David Wall. “It didn’t stop them winning the Europa League and qualifying for the Champions’ League. And it forced Mourinho into signing a proper centre forward to take his place, rather than a withdrawn forward like Griezman (or someone similar). If they’d not signed Lukaku, and Zlatan was still playing as the main centre forward then they’d not have the pace and threat that they’ve shown so far this year. The fact that opposition defences now have to really worry about people running beyond them in turn makes more space for the midfield to play, something that didn’t often happen last season.”

Yes, possibly. They look faster this season, though that’s down to a lot more than just the swap from Ibrahimovic to Lukaku. In many ways Lukaku has been like Zlatan last season – almost anonymous, apart from on the scoresheet, though I take the point about stretching defences. Either way, I think re-signing him is a great move because they’ll need him in the the second half of the season if they progress in the cups, as Mourinho’s teams tend to do. If he accepts the role, he should be a superb glory substitute as well.

5.04pm BST

If you’re one of those old-fashioned folk who still read books, I’ve read a couple of excellent United-related ones of late: Red Rebels, the Shakespearean story of FC United, and the autobiography of the briefly adored Andrei Kanchelskis.

4.34pm BST

While you wait...

4.34pm BST

Manchester United (4-2-3-1) De Gea; Valencia, Bailly, Jones, Blind; Pogba, Matic; Mata, Mkhitaryan, Martial; Lukaku.
Substitutes: Romero, Darmian, Smalling, Lingard, Herrera, Fellaini, Rashford

Leicester (4-2-3-1) Schmeichel; Simpson, Morgan, Maguire, Fuchs; Ndidi, James; Mahrez, Okazaki, Albrighton; Vardy.
Substitutes: Hamer, Chilwell, Amartey, King, Gray, Slimani, Iheanacho.

5.46pm BST

Hello. Jose Mourinho’s greatest gift to the Premier League was to make people realise that matches won in autumn are worth as much as those won in the spring. Before that, the first half of the season was almost a warm-up; Sir Alex Ferguson regularly told us that Manchester United only really got going after Christmas, and the same was true of most of the eventual Premier League winners.

Mourinho changed all that. In his first season Chelsea won 20 of their first 25 league games to keep pace with and then overtake the Invincibles; in his second they won 20 of their first 22 games. The title race was effectively over before Santa sat down for a hard-earned eggnog treat and to reflect on whether he could really be bothered to go through all that again next year. It was a strange sort of flattery when, a year later, United scored four times in the first 20 minutes of the season and never looked back until they had taken Chelsea’s title.

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Published on August 26, 2017 11:22

Bournemouth 1-2 Manchester City: Premier League – as it happened

Raheem Sterling was sent off for celebrating his 97th-minute winner, with City coming from behind in a highly entertaining game

2.55pm BST

2.31pm BST

That dramatic end will probably obscure what was a terrific game. City deserved to win, though Bournemouth were heroic and clever and will take a huge amount out of this game. I need a lie-down after that. Thanks for your company and emails, bye!

2.29pm BST

In the 101st minute, Mike Dean blows the final whistle and City have won.

2.28pm BST

90+11 min There were only supposed to be five minutes of added time!

2.28pm BST

90+10 min John Stones has come on for somebody or other. Some finish this!

2.27pm BST

I did wonder whether this might happen. Sterling, already booked, went into the crowd after scoring and so he receives a second yellow card before Bournemouth kick off. A few of them might have gone, in truth, and Kompany and Ake should have been off earlier.

2.26pm BST

90+9 min What a finish! Before that, Mousset was booked for flattening someone. King really should have won it for Bournemouth by playing Gosling in just before that.

2.26pm BST

That is so cruel on Bournemouth. City’s players are going mad, they are all in with the crowd. It was such a scruffy goal. Danilo’s low cross from the right came to Sterling, who got it out of his feet and hit a shot that took a deflection off Surman and looped slowly, agonisingly into the corner.

2.25pm BST

City have won it!

2.24pm BST

90+6 min Bournemouth almost steal the win! King robbed Mendy and had a two v one. He should have played Gosling through but went on his own and hit a good 25-yard shot that was pushed away by the diving Ederson. King has been Bournemouth’s best player but he got that badly wrong.

2.23pm BST

90+6 min There were supposed to be five minutes of added time but there have been a few stoppages in that time so on we go. Daniels stoops to head Sane’s brilliant deep cross behind for a corner.

2.22pm BST

90+5 min Smith becomes the 87th person to be booked, and rightly so, for a bad tackle on Sane.

2.21pm BST

90+4 min The substitute Afobe is coming off. He was flattened in an aerial challenge with Kompany, and will be replaced by Lys Mousset.

2.20pm BST

90+3 min Arter does superbly to dispossess Sterling, who trips him petulantly and is booked.

2.20pm BST

90+2 min The corner is eventually taken and half cleared to Sterling, who wallops it into orbit from 25 yards. City, for all their brilliant play, have not given Begovic that much to do.

2.19pm BST

90 min City win a corner. Guardiola continues to make a bit of a fool of himself, complaining demonstratively to Eddie Howe about Bournemouth’s unsporting reluctance to play basketball against a side with significantly greater resources. Mike Dean comes over to tell both managers off.

2.18pm BST

89 min Pep Guardiola is stomping round the touchline with an affronted coupon. He knows that, on chances alone, City should have nine points rather than five.

2.16pm BST

87 min Hello, somebody’s put their tanks on Mac Millings’ lawn! It’s all going to go off now. Here’s Pjotr van Rooijen with his Ocean’s XI.

2.15pm BST

86 min ... and Aguero curls it well wide. Begovic waved it away. He’s had an excellent game. There haven’t been any spectacular saves, but he’s made a lot of solid stops and looked calm throughout.

2.13pm BST

86 min Sterling makes an electric diagonal run from the right and is brought down by Arter, who is booked. City have a free-kick 22 yards from goal...

2.12pm BST

84 min Mendy’s low cross is shinned across his own area by Ake, and David Silva sidefoots it into orbit from 10 yards. The challenge of Daniels did just enough to put him off.

2.11pm BST

83 min Pep Guardiola is having another fierce go at the fourth official.

2.10pm BST

82 min The superb Gabriel Jesus is coming off, to be replaced by Leroy Sane.

2.09pm BST

80 min “Continuing your fishy riff, I remember an FA Cup match at Anfield in 1980 when Grimsby Town were the visitors,” says Simon Gill. “Once victory was assured (the Reds won 5-0) the crowd entertained themselves with fishy paeans to the Liverpool team - I remember Phil Eel and Kenny Dogfish, but there must have been plenty of others too.”

2.07pm BST

79 min Mendy is booked for a cynical foul on King, who had made another of his effective solo counter-attacks.

2.05pm BST

78 min Bournemouth are hanging on now, as they were at the end of the first half. Danilo’s dangerous low cross into the six-yard area is beaten away excellently by the diving Begovic.

2.04pm BST

77 min “What a player this boy is, honestly,” enthuses Alan Smith after another piece of skill from Jesus. He’s still only 20.

2.03pm BST

76 min Steve Cook is booked for a late tackle on Jesus.

2.02pm BST

75 min Otamendi hits the post! De Bruyne’s dipping corner from the left found him weirdly unmarked onto the six-yard line. He strained his neck muscles to produce a downward header back across goal, and it bounced up to hit the post with Begovic unmoved.

2.01pm BST

74 min “Millings’ sterling work (as always) put me in mind of the period where Charlton’s back four were Young, Fish, Costa, Fortune,” says Matt Dony. “Simple things, and all that...”

It’s what Millings would have wanted.

2.00pm BST

73 min A Bournemouth change: Jermain Defoe is replaced by Benik Afobe.

2.00pm BST

72 min Fernandinho shuffles smartly away from Gosling, 25 yards out, and hits a fierce low shot that is smartly saved by Begovic. Moments later, Daniels’ tackle on Sterling divers the ball to Aguero, whose low shot from 15 yards is too close to Begovic. That was a good chance.

1.58pm BST

71 min “How could Mac Millings omit Mark Fish from his all-time Fish XI?!” sniffs Alex Khadivi.

1.58pm BST

70 min City come again in this superb match, enjoying a long spell of possession. The better Bournemouth play, the more you feel the match has late heartbreak written all over it.

1.57pm BST

69 min City are annoyed again when Mike Dean rejects a penalty appeal. Aguero went down after a collision with Smith. That’s all it was, a collision. If anything it was a foul by Aguero.

1.56pm BST

68 min Otamendi is booked for doing something nasty to Defoe. At the moment, Bournemouth look the likelier scorers.

1.55pm BST

67 min Kompany, who has been booked, is lucky that Mike Dean doesn’t spot him shoving Defoe over off the ball. That’s 1-1 in the red-cards-that-weren’t stakes.

1.54pm BST

67 min “‘What kind of barbaric dystopia is this, Michael?’” says Hubert O’Hearn. “Thank you for that Rob! I’d give anything for an actual footballer to say similar in a post-match interview. ‘’I have recaptured something of the verdant rapacity of my youth,’ said Wayne Rooney on Match of the Day...””

Where are the YouTube clips of Jorge Valdano’s post-match interviews when you need them?

1.54pm BST

66 min A Manchester City substitution: Sergio Aguero replaces Bernardo Silva. It looks like City will play a 4-1-3-2 now.

1.51pm BST

63 min This has been a cracking game, and Bournemouth are starting to threaten again. Defoe takes Surman’s pass in his stride and almost wriggles away from the last man Otamendi.

1.50pm BST

61 min Josh King hits the post! Fernandino was robbed in a dangerous area by a combination of Arter and Daniels. Arter crossed to low to King, who curled a first-time effort with his left effort from just inside the area. Ederson didn’t move and it smacked off the face of the post.

1.48pm BST

60 min A brief lull allows us to turn our attention to more important matters: it’s a new Mac Millings XI!

“Wotcha, Rob,” says Mac. “You want an All-Time Fish XI?

1.46pm BST

58 min A training-ground free-kick from Bournemouth almost leads to a goal - for City. They made a complete mess of it, and City break down the left through De Bruyne. His low cross went across the face of goal and deflected just behind Bernardo Silva.

1.45pm BST

57 min David Silva has been booked as well, presumably for complaining about some of Mike Dean’s decisions.

1.44pm BST

56 min King breaks menacingly and is invited to challenge gravity by Kompany, who is booked. King has been excellent today.

1.43pm BST

55 min Sterling’s snapshot is blocked by one of a posse of Bournemouth defenders. City have settled into a nice passing rhythm, albeit thus far without the incessant menace of the 20 minutes before half-time.

1.42pm BST

53 min Bernardo Silva has been the least effective of City’s attackers, so they may look to replace him if it stays 1-1. You’d expect him to need a little time to settle in This League™. Most delicate attackers do, which makes Jesus’s explosive start even more impressive.

1.40pm BST

51 min Cook takes the ball and then flattens Jesus with his follow through. David Silva looks to the referee Mike Dean as if to say, ‘What kind of barbaric dystopia is this, Michael?’ He gives a throw-in.

1.38pm BST

49 min City break dangerously through Sterling. He doesn’t pick the wrong pass; he doesn’t pick any pass, running the ball straight out of play.

1.35pm BST

48 min King makes a fine run down the right and crosses towards Defoe. Kompany stretches to make an important clearance.

1.33pm BST

46 min Peep peep! City begin the second half.

1.18pm BST

Peep peep! That was excellent entertainment from two attacking teams. Charlie Daniels gave Bournemouth the lead with an authentic Goal of the Season contender; Gabriel Jesus’s excellent equaliser came against the run of play and altered the run of play. From the moment City equalised they were pretty awesome, and could easily be ahead. See you in 10 minutes for the second half.

1.16pm BST

45 min Ake is playing on, until half-time at least.

1.15pm BST

44 min Jesus, on the right of the box, backheels the ball into the path of Fernandinho. He hits a rasping rising shot from a tight angle that almost knocks Begovic off his feet as he beats it away, and eventually Bournemouth manage to clear. Bournemouth will be very pleased if they get to half-time at 1-1 because they have subject to a furious interrogation for the last 25 minutes.

1.11pm BST

41 min This doesn’t look good for Ake. His right leg got stuck as he stretched to clear with his left. I’m not sure he’ll be able to carry on.

1.10pm BST

40 min Ake is down injured, possibly with twisted blood, and there’s a break in play.

1.10pm BST

39 min “Romario, Ronaldo & Ronaldinho also loved the oft derided toe bung,” says Niall Mullen. “Is it fair to say that rather than a rabona or rainbow flick that this is the true Brazilian art form?”

Good point. Yet when Mick Harford toebunged one into Row Y it was “primitive”. Typical cultural cringe.

1.08pm BST

38 min “Is Mike Dean Jasper Carrott’s love child?” asks Steve, who has a point.

1.07pm BST

37 min Ake makes an excellent defensive header from Mendy’s dangerous cross.

1.06pm BST

35 min It’s been a breathless first half, and Bournemouth look in need of some oxygen and/or a nice cup of tea. A second City goal feels inevitable.

1.04pm BST

33 min “Out of 10,” says Paul Neilan, “where does that strike lie on your scale of ‘hairy-arsed chancers’?”

I think the modern man is a little more enlightened when it comes to personal groo- oh, I see what you mean. It’s right up there, an 8 at least. A first-time, outside-of-the-foot half-volley, with a soupcon of swoosh, that goes in off the woodwork: that’s almost screamer bingo.

1.02pm BST

32 min Bernardo Silva wastes a great chance for City, going it alone when he should have played in David Silva. Instead he placed the ball tamely at Begovic from 18 yards. The chance came from another mistake by the nervous Ake.

1.00pm BST

29 min For the first 20 minutes, Bournemouth were brilliant. For the last 10, City have been awesome. They look like scoring with every attack. Pep Guardiola, meanwhile, is giving the fourth official a roasting over that yellow card for Ake. He has a strong case, even if he and his team have presented it a little charmlessly.

12.59pm BST

28 min Bournemouth are under siege. David Silva’s angled through pass finds the overlapping Danilo, whose low shot is kicked away by Begovic.

12.57pm BST

25 min After a slow start City are playing majestically. De Bruyne’s cute stabbed pass finds Danilo - the right-back - in the area, and his shot is desperately blocked. It comes back to David Silva, who takes it on the chest and volleys over from 25 yards.

12.56pm BST

24 min That could have been another for Jesus! De Bruyne drove a sweet crossfield pass to Mendy, who fizzed a wonderful volleyed cross into the corridor of uncertainty. It bounced up slightly awkwardly beyond the far post for Jesus, who slapped it wide.

12.55pm BST

23 min Ake dithers and is robbed by Jesus, who is about to run clear on goal when Ake brings him down. He is booked, though City are apoplectic that it wasn’t a red card. The replays suggest they have a case.

12.54pm BST

David Silva received a quick free-kick from Jesus, waited for some movement and sliced Bournemouth open with a wonderful, disguised through-pass. Jesus made a great run, held off Ake and toebunged it first time past Begovic.

12.53pm BST

This is a high-class equaliser from City.

12.52pm BST

21 min “Hi, Rob!” says Karl Ruben Weseth. Any insight into why Daniels seemed so angry when he ran to the corner flag after the goal?”

None whatsoever. I was too busy typing ‘bloody hell, what a goal!’ or something like that, so I didn’t see it. Maybe it was just that angry orgasm face to which we are all occasionally susceptible.

12.52pm BST

20 min Sterling’s ambitious long-range curler is straight at Begovic.

12.51pm BST

19 min Ederson makes a good save from Defoe! Surman, in a central position, curled a nice left-footed pass over the defence to find Defoe, who had got inbtween Mendy and Kompany. He stretched to hit a first-time volley from 15 yards and Ederson plunged to his left to push it away.

12.49pm BST

17 min It’s tempting to say City aren’t playing well. I’d be more inclined to say Bournemouth are playing extremely well.

12.48pm BST

16 min “Hey Rob,” says JR in Illinois. “David Siva’s new hairdo is not working for him in any sense. Firstly, he looks odd. Secondly, he’s already sprayed around multiple off target passes. Either that or Harry Arter is yelling “LEAVE IT” every time Silva makes a pass.”

Yeah, I can’t get used to it. He looks like a Trainspotting extra.

12.46pm BST

15 min De Bruyne’s bouncing corner from the right is shinned miles wide by Otamendi.

12.46pm BST

14 min That was, in any currency, a magnificent goal.

12.44pm BST

What a goal! It was a heatseeker from Charlie Daniels. Gosling’s cross from the left was half cleared by Kompany at the near post. The ball bounced just outside the area on the left, where Daniels ran onto the ball, mistook himself for Roberto Carlos - and then hit one like Roberto Carlos. From a tight angle he thrashed a left-footed half-volley that screamed across Ederson and in off the bar!

12.42pm BST

This is an absolute screamer!

12.41pm BST

10 min De Bruyne’s awkward low cross is diverted towards his own goal by the stretching Ake. Happily for him, the ball loops straight into the loving embrace of Begovic.

12.37pm BST

7 min This has been a fine start from Bournemouth, who have had more of the ball and look sharp in and out of possession.

12.35pm BST

5 min Lovely play from Bournemouth. King loses Otamendi with a slick turn near the halfway line, flicking the ball behind his standing leg, and then plays it down the right to Smith. He gets into the area and cuts a return ball back towards King, whose first-time strike from 15 yards is blocked.

12.34pm BST

4 min Otamendi heads a free-kick behind to give Bournemouth the first corner. Nowt happens.

12.33pm BST

3 min There are suggestions that Sergio Aguero is in a volcanic funk at being rotated, and stayed on the team coach on his own for a long time when the team arrived at the stadium. Reports that he was listening to Everybody Hurts on loop are unconfirmed.

12.31pm BST

2 min For the time being, the formations are as expected: 3-5-2 for Bournemouth, 4-1-2-3 for City. Actually, looking at it again, it’s more a 3-5-1-1 for Bournemouth with King dropping off Defoe.

12.30pm BST

1 min Peep peep! Bournemouth kick off from right to left as we look at our HD television screen. They are in red and black; City are in sky blue.

12.28pm BST

It’ll be interesting to see how Bournemouth line up. They picked a back three to match up against City, not knowing that Pep Guardiola had switched to a back four. So maybe Eddie Howe will revert to 4-4-2. Sometimes tactics can so goddamn thrilling.

12.24pm BST

An email! “Nice of City to allow Delph out for the day (on the bench of course),” says Ian Copestake. “Signing for them must have been both the best day of his career and the least sensible.”

You could make a good XI of English players who lost some of their best years because they flew too close to the sun – Delph, Wright-Phillips, Parker, Carroll, Zaha, Downing, Sidwell. But then if they’d rejected a move to a big club they would have been dismissed as bottlers, and they would die wondering.

11.34am BST

Bournemouth (3-5-1-1) Begovic; S Cook, Ake, Mings; A Smith, Gosling, Surman, Arter, Daniels; King; Defoe.
Substitutes: Boruc, B Smith, Fraser, Ibe, L Cook, Mousset, Afobe.

Manchester City (4-1-2-3) Ederson; Danilo, Kompany, Otamendi, Mendy; Fernandinho; De Bruyne, D Silva; B Silva, Jesus, Sterling.
Substitutes: Bravo, Stones, Mangala, Sane, Delph, Toure, Aguero.

10.43am BST

Morning. There are two ways to win a football match: you can score more goals than your opponent, or you can concede fewer. Eddie Howe and Pep Guardiola only have eyes for the first approach. There were 122 goals in Bournemouth’s 38 league games last season, the most in the league, and 119 in City’s. The attacking ability and defensive fragility of both is such that any minute now I’m going to make an inane gag about this match being a nailed-on 0-0.

Ordinarily Bournemouth could view this game as a free hit, with any points a bonus. But they have lost their first two games, and have an extremely hard start to the season. In their next eight games they play five of the Big Seven™, and things don’t really ease up until November.

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Published on August 26, 2017 06:36

August 18, 2017

England v West Indies: day-night Test at Edgbaston, day two – as it happened

Alastair Cook scored 243 as England declared on 514 for eight, with West Indies reaching 44-1 as rain stopped play before darkness fell

9.26pm BST

8.16pm BST

Play has been abandoned, alas. So West Indies have nine wickets to play with, and they are a mere 470 runs behind. The day belonged to Alastair Cook, who cruised to 243, but Jason Holder deserves some credit too, for somehow concocting five quick wickets to keep England down to the low 500s.

An email comes in from J Sims, entitled Animal. “I can say with some certainty that your occasional OBO contributor and erstwhile Guardian colleague, Dixe Wills, was the Life and Soul of said shenanigans in Bolivia and Peru in 1989.” Not a sentence I’ve ever read before. “Even those of us elsewhere over the continent heard the reports, and believed them all. As confirmation, I’m still at work on the East Coast of the USA, enjoying the same weather forecast (prolonged showers and intermittent thunder storms until 10pm) as my friends and family in Birmingham.

8.04pm BST

More on the great meal-break debate. “In my (tongue-in-cheek) opinion,” says Graeme Thorn, “the game changed irrevocably when limited-overs games moved from two breaks (lunch/tea) to one between innings.” Say what you like about the single break, it does make it easier for us OBO-ers to split the day in half.

7.54pm BST

The rain in Birmingham is attracting participles like “pelting” (D Gower) and “minging” (A Miller of Cricinfo). But at least we have a quick response from Phil Sawyer to my query about Friday nights in Lincoln (19:44).

“Well, I can’t speak for the rest of Lincoln, Tim, but for me that’s a pretty wild evening. They don’t call me Phil ‘The Party Animal’ Sawyer for nothing. Actually, they don’t call me Phil ‘The Party Animal’ Sawyer even if I pay them.” Ha. Is there an OBO reader out there who IS known as a party animal?

7.48pm BST

Cometh the rain, cometh Tom van der Gucht. “Weighing in on the fruit nicknames for the pink ball, perhaps it should be called a peach, as in Anderson just bowled a peach of a delivery - honk honk... I’ll get my coat.”

7.44pm BST

A confession. “Sorry,” says Phil Sawyer, “that was almost definitely my fault. Have been doing some spring (summer?) cleaning for the last couple of hours. Almost literally the moment I switched the vacuum cleaner off and thought ‘Job done, time for a drink and some cricket’ the rain came down and the players went off. On the other hand, it’s a lovely evening in Lincoln, I have a clean flat, and I’ve also mixed myself a large Moscow Mule, so swings and roundabouts.” Indeed. Is this a typical Friday night in Lincoln?

7.35pm BST

The forecast is for a longish break, which will at least allow a few plastered people to make it to the front of the pie queue.

On Twitter, Austin Baird has a question. “How common is it for a woman footballer to be represented by Windies batsmen? Hope Powell?” I don’t know, but I’m sure there was once a holding midfielder called Courtney Curtly.

7.30pm BST

16th over: West Indies 44-1 (Powell 18, Hope 25) Broad continues, over-pitches, and hands Powell the chance to cover-drive for four, which he accepts. He adds a two and a single with nudges to leg. These two have done OK, quietly moving through the gears. And the umps are calling for the covers. Shame.

7.24pm BST

15th over: West Indies 37-1 (Powell 11, Hope 25) Hope cuts Anderson for four and pushes him for two. Time for Roland-Jones, surely.

“I tried starting the tea debate yesterday,” says Sam Spijkers-Shaw. “I hadn’t come up with a suggestion at the time, but there’s a lot odd about this Test, whether it be for the better or the worse, so changing a name wouldn’t cause the biggest stir.

7.21pm BST

14th over: West Indies 31-1 (Powell 11, Hope 19) Hope nudges a single, and Powell keeps Broad out before playing a stylish tuck for four through midwicket. When the camera zooms in on Powell, he has the same look in his eye that Dele Alli has in the box.

7.16pm BST

13th over: West Indies 26-1 (Powell 7, Hope 18) Anderson restores order with a fine maiden to Powell. The crowd are singing, in a way that suggests they may have given up on the pie queue but persevered with the one at the bar.

A tweet from Mike Selvey, who was bowling for England against West Indies this time 41 years ago. “Eng, esp Broad, trying too hard with pink ball. Just pretend it’s the red one and revert to normal mode.”

7.12pm BST

12th over: West Indies 26-1 (Powell 7, Hope 18) The race for double figures has been a post-modern fable: The Tortoise and the Tortoise. It is won by a tortoise called Hope, with a clip for two off Broad, and suddenly the runs are flowing – a pull for four, an edge for four more. Root has had three slips all innings, when he could easily have five.

7.08pm BST

11th over: West Indies 16-1 (Powell 7, Hope 8) Anderson’s latest grapefruit is well handled by Hope, who tracks the swing and takes a single into the covers. Powell survives another lbw shout, possibly high, possibly pitching outside leg. Definitely high.

7.04pm BST

10th over: West Indies 14-1 (Powell 6, Hope 7) On come the lights, which is handy as the sky has gone charcoal grey. Broad locates the corridor of uncertainty better than he did before the break. Powell takes another sharp single, and would be gone if the throw had hit.

6.53pm BST

Is it me, or have they really messed up the meal breaks here? The first one should be tea, 20 minutes, at 4pm, as it has been, more or less, since 1899. And the second, round about now, should be 40 minutes (at least) and called something like supper. The person who made the decision must have forgotten what it’s like to be in a crowd of 20,000, most of whom feel like a pie.

“Looking at your picture of Jimmy Anderson’s quiff,” says Tom van der Gucht, “is a strangely exhilarating experience. Has he styled it like that in memory of Elvis after the anniversary of his death? Or is he aiming for more of a Morrissey look? Either way, it’s impressive stuff and reminds me that I need to book in to have my ears lowered.”

6.45pm BST

So West Indies go for a bite 501 runs behind. And an email arrives from Keith Aitchison. “Can we call a pink jaffa by its proper name? A grapefruit me thinks!” I like it.

6.42pm BST

9th over: West Indies 13-1 (Powell 5, Hope 7) Another quick single from Powell and that’s “tea”. After the clatter in late afternoon, it feels like an age since we had a wicket, but at least Steve Bannon is out – c Press Corps b Kelly, for a long-drawn-out 0.

6.38pm BST

8th over: West Indies 12-1 (Powell 4, Hope 7) Powell plays a crisp defensive shot and runs a quick single, which gets Mike Atherton purring.

6.34pm BST

7th over: West Indies 11-1 (Powell 3, Hope 7) Anderson beats Hope, twice: he’s producing two pink jaffas per over. But he also bowls a wide in between, to show that he’s human.

“Perspective?” says Geoff Wignall. “There have been plenty of (occasionally patronising) comments about how bad the Windies were in the field and obviously they weren’t great.
But they did run into history’s highest-scoring Test opener and a possible all-time great, both in form. Only one other batsman reached 20, so were they really all that poor? I’ve only been able to follow by OBO so can’t judge for myself.” Me neither – I came racing back from Edinburgh this morning. What does anyone else reckon?

6.30pm BST

6th over: West Indies 10-1 (Powell 3, Hope 7) Ian Botham spots that the edge beat Stokes for pace, which may have been because the pitch has been sexed up by the drizzle.

6.28pm BST

Ben Stokes, at gully, can’t quite hold on to a flashing edge from Powell off Broad.

6.27pm BST

5th over: West Indies 8-1 (Powell 2, Hope 6) Raindrops are falling, so Anderson finds an even better line and beats Powell twice in a row. Powell fights back with a flick to fine leg, whereupon Anderson has another big shout for lbw, this time against Hope.

“Tim.” Ah, the reassuring sound of John Starbuck, picking up on my remark about the wicket at 18:14. “So what would you mix together to achieve the colour of the pink ball? And would it be drinkable?” For me, the answer is Benylin, and yes, at the risk of contradicting myself.

6.22pm BST

4th over: West Indies 7-1 (Powell 1, Hope 6) Kieran Powell nudges a single off Broad. And here’s Tom Bowtell, the OBO’s own Bearded Wonder. “Jimmy’s parsimonious summer has seen his average dip below 28 for the first time since Trent Bridge 2003. Could be a fair bit lower by the time the series is out.”

6.18pm BST

3rd over: West Indies 6-1 (Powell 0, Hope 6) Kyle Hope, making his debut, survives a big lbw shout (a bit high), and immediately plays a handsome clip for four, and then a cover push for two. So he seems to have a good temperament.

An email from Tom Morgan. “These new session intervals would be perfect here in Spain. Lunch at 4 and tea (aka merienda) at 6.30. Just need to popularise the game a bit here...”

6.14pm BST

The perfect outswinger. Classic Anderson in every way, except that the ball is the colour of a very nasty drink.

6.12pm BST

2nd over: West Indies 0-0 (Brathwaite 0, Powell 0) Stuart Broad’s turn for a pink-cherry debut, and he beats the bat with his first ball as Kieran Powell wafts outside off. “His legs are pumping here, Broad,” Nasser Hussain notes, “he’s fired up.” But then he goes too wide. Save that for when the Windies are 500-7.

“I’m about to fly from Orkney to Aberdeen,” says Andrew Wheeler. “I expect the vast majority of the Windies innings will be over by the time I land!”

6.07pm BST

1st over: West Indies 0-0 (Brathwaite 0, Powell 0) Jimmy Anderson bowls England’s first over with the pink ball, and like one or two of the West Indians, he gets it swinging too early. Kraigg Brathwaite lets the first four deliveries go by, then blocks one, and leaves the last.

6.03pm BST

So, place your bets on how many more wickets will fall tonight. England, from 449-3, lost five for 65. Alastair Cook is back out on the field, with, as ever, not a bead of sweat to show for his immense efforts. And it feels like a good declaration by Root, erring on the side of getting on with the game.

“Hello Tim, hello everybody.” Hello Simon McMahon. “Hope you’re all well. Sad news indeed about Brucie. As for Cook, didn’t he do well? And to the West Indian openers, you get nothing for a pair (not in this game).”

5.55pm BST

And so the collapse continued, which was a disappointment for Cook but (whisper it) a relief for the rest of us. Poor old TRJ is left high and dry on 6 not out.

Time to see if the bowlers can dig England out of this hole.

5.54pm BST

And England declare on 514-8.

5.53pm BST

For lbw, playing across the spinner. Looks outish.

5.50pm BST

135th over: England 512-7 (Cook 242, Roland-Jones 5) Cummins returns, armed with a 7/2 off-side field, and aiming for about seventh stump. The ump indulges him. Cook squirts a single to third man. And they say the smartphone has made boredom obsolete.

“Afternoon Tim!” says Stuie Neale. “Hope Cookie can get his triple. Or bat till tea & declare.” Hmmmm.

5.46pm BST

134th over: England 511-7 (Cook 241, Roland-Jones 5) TRJ plays out a maiden from Chase, whose figures (3-111) are now almost respectable.

5.44pm BST

133rd over: England 511-7 (Cook 241, Roland-Jones 5) Thanks Rob and evening everyone. A shift of Test cricket starting at 5.40pm, but at least we have the reassuring sight of an England collapse. Toby Roland-Jones, gobsmacked at finding himself batting with Alastair Cook, gets off the mark with an edge for four off Holder between keeper and first slip, which wouldn’t have carried anyway.

5.39pm BST

132nd over: England 506-7 (Cook 241, Roland-Jones 0) “I have sort of lost track with all this juggling with the lunch, tiffin etc,” says Andy MacInally. “When are we in terms of sessions?”

We’re about halfway through the second session, which means it’s time for me to hand over to Tim de Lisle. You can mail him at tim.delisle.casual@theguardian.com. Thanks for your company, bye.

5.36pm BST

Moeen goes for a selfless duck. He tried to launch Chase down the ground for six and sliced the ball high to Brathwaite at point.

5.32pm BST

131st over: England 505-6 (Cook 240, Moeen 0) “Hi Rob,” says Derek Fordham. “My mate, an avid Liverpool fan, went to watch them play a pre-season game some years ago and arrived in time to see them get off the team bus 90 mins before kick off. All of the squad entered the ground apart from Julian Dicks who set off in the other direction. My mate followed him to a chip shop where he watched him order pie and chips twice and, with these tucked under his arm, he returned to the ground. History doesn’t record whether they were both for him but I can’t imagine may people would send Julian Dicks out to run errands for them. He played in the game.”

Who are both of the pies, etc.

5.30pm BST

Bairstow goes, dragging Holder back onto the stumps. It was a quiet night in at the library for him too, 18 from 32 balls. England’s musketeers haven’t fired as we expected. At least not yet: here comes Moeen Ali.

5.27pm BST

130th over: England 503-5 (Cook 240, Bairstow 15) Cook glides Chase to the third-man boundary twice in three balls to take England past 500.

5.25pm BST

129th over: England 493-5 (Cook 231, Bairstow 15) Cook mistimes a pull shot that goes up in the air and falls tantalisingly short of the bowler Holder as he runs towards midwicket.

“In a more retro cricket/restaurant story,” begins Colin Dean, “my one and only brush with greatness came when I found myself eating on the table next to John Emburey at the Happy Eater on the A303. I’m not sure what he had, but am fairly certain it would have been served with baked beans.”

5.20pm BST

128th over: England 489-5 (Cook 228, Bairstow 14) Cook and Bairstow scamper five runs in Chase’s over. It’s all pretty low-key.

5.17pm BST

127th over: England 484-5 (Cook 227, Bairstow 10) “It pains me to say it, because I don’t want to give him any more publicity, but that Rees-Mogg fellow could be a good costume model for a pedant,” says John Starbuck.

5.12pm BST

126th over: England 482-5 (Cook 226, Bairstow 9) Bairstow demonstrates the speed of his brain, feet and hands by improvising to steer Chase past short third man for four. A premeditated lap brings a couple more.

5.09pm BST

125th over: England 476-5 (Cook 226, Bairstow 3) Holder beats Bairstow on the inside with a good delivery that bounces over middle stump. That’s it.

“I travelled from Joburg to Potchefstroom at the start of the last England tour to South Africa to watch a warm up match,” says John Bowker. “Not knowing where else to eat, we went to a local Nando’s after the day’s play and were shortly joined by Stokes, Jordan, Moeen, Hales, Buttler and Ballance. I only tell this poor excuse for a story because Jos ordered a full chicken all to himself. A full chicken!”

5.06pm BST

124th over: England 475-5 (Cook 226, Bairstow 2) Chase skids a nice delivery past Cook’s attempted cut. He has bowled pretty well, the best of the attack apart from Roach.

“I will be attending fancy-dress Saturday at Edgbaston and wondered what a regular OBOer should wear,” says Ian Copestake. “How does one dress as a pedant?”

5.03pm BST

123rd over: England 471-5 (Cook 223, Bairstow 1) “It’s that time of year again when I ask you if you’ll be kind enough to give the Hampshire Hogs Six-a-side a plug,” says George Browne. “We’re into our fourth year now and it gets better each time! Warnford is a gorgeous ground, and the beer really is excellent. Drinking is very much encouraged, though we had to put a stop to Pimm’s being delivered to players between overs as it was taking up too much time. Continue reading...

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Published on August 18, 2017 12:16

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