Rob Smyth's Blog, page 149

Chelsea 4-0 Hull City and Leicester City 1-0 Sheffield Utd: FA Cup – as it happened

Four first-half goals put Chelsea in the FA Cup quarter-finals, while Jamie Vardy’s clever header ensured Leicester joined them in the last eight

10.17pm GMT

Related: Willian takes centre stage as Chelsea turn on style to destroy Hull

10.16pm GMT

Related: Jamie Vardy strike enough for Leicester to see off Sheffield United

9.51pm GMT

Peep peep! Chelsea join Leicester in the quarter-finals after an easy victory over Hull. All four goals came in the first half, with the superb Willian scoring two beauties from outside the box. Thanks for your company. Do join us tomorrow for more warm FA Cup action. Goodnight!

9.48pm GMT

Chelsea 4-0 Hull City Willian, on a hat-trick, hits the outside of the post with a cracking curler from 25 yards. He has played beautifully.

9.47pm GMT

“Wilson was running at pace when Fabregas tripped him and knocked him off balance, he was carried entirely by momentum,” says Phil Podolsky. “Boom, case closed. *Adjusts monocle* even in the age of Trump, some of us still use science, reason and logick to argue online.”

I don’t know what to believe any more. The only thing I trust is nihilism.

9.45pm GMT

Chelsea 4-0 Hull City Hull have had a lot of the ball in the second half. Chelsea declared at half-time, but it’s still been a worthy effort from Hull. There are four minutes remaining.

9.40pm GMT

“Regardless of factors like ‘ability’ and ‘technique’, Ethan Ampadu has the best hair on the pitch, and he plays for Wales,” says Matt Dony. “I love him.”

Love is a many splendoured thing.

9.37pm GMT

Peep peep! Leicester are into the FA Cup quarter-finals for the first time since 2012. Jamie Vardy got the only goal with a smart header from the impressive Riyad Mahrez’s cross.

9.35pm GMT

Chelsea 4-0 Hull City Drinkwater’s deflected shot is superbly saved by Marshall, who was going one way and had to change direction at the last minute.

9.34pm GMT

Chelsea 4-0 Hull City Gary Cahill, who is usually an excellent finisher, misses an excellent volleyed chance from Willian’s corner.

9.32pm GMT

Hull have played well in the second half. They could easily have thrown it in and lost 8-0.

9.28pm GMT

Chelsea 4-0 Hull City Caballero springs off his line to make an excellent save from Dicko, who skipped confidently past the last man Ampadu. At the other end, Willian delays too long when given a chance for his hat-trick, and then Zappacosta’s fierce low shot is beautifully tipped round by Marshall.

9.27pm GMT

Chelsea 4-0 Hull City Scott gives the ball way to Irvine, whose shot is deflected onto the roof of the net by Ampadu.

9.26pm GMT

“At St James Park, we were very excited by Ethan Ampadu, a once in a generation talent who has an astonishing intuitive feel for what happens on a football pitch - that serenity you talk about stems from his uncanny ability to read the game,” says Robin Durie. “All the more shame on Chelsea, therefore, who are lowballing Exeter City in their attempts to massage his value down for the transfer tribunal. This, from a club the routinely throws absurd amounts of money at overseas ‘stars’ who are frequently lucky if they make more than a handful of appearances. It’s a pernicious aspect of the game in this country that teams like Exeter who develop talents like Ampadu can be, in effect, fleeced by the conglomerates of the Prem.”

Is that true? If so it’s miserable, deplorable and just pathetic.

9.21pm GMT

Chelsea 4-0 Hull The second half has been more like a friendly than a competitive match. Chelsea are going to introduce another of their kids, with the debutant Kyle Scott replacing Cesc Fabregas.

9.19pm GMT

Leicester 1-0 Sheffield United Jamie Vardy has a goal disallowed for offside. It was given against Mahrez, whose lobbed header across goal was tapped in by Vardy. I think it was just the right decision, though it looked extremely tight.

9.16pm GMT

Leicester 1-0 Sheffield United Kasper Schmeichel keeps Leicester in front with an outstanding save low to his left from George Baldock’s shot. Baldock should have scored but Schmeichel did so well to get enough on the ball that it dribbled wide of the post rather than into the net.

9.15pm GMT

Harry Wilson is leaving the field with a shoulder injury, sustained when he was fouled for the penalty.

“Clear penalty, yes”, says Nate Elliott. “But to make sure the referee whistled, he’s thrown himself to the ground with such force that he’s injured his shoulder. That’s entirely his own doing. Impressive.”

9.11pm GMT

Leicester lead through a super goal from Jamie Vardy. It was a clever, lobbed header from a narrow angle after Riyad Mahrez picked him out with a booming deep cross.

9.10pm GMT

Meyler looked really nervous before taking the penalty. And though he struck it well, it was at saveable height and the penalty expert Caballero dived to his right to beat it away.

9.08pm GMT

That was a clear foul by Fabregas on Harry Wilson. No need for VAR there.

9.04pm GMT

The second half is under way at Stamford Bridge, where Chelsea lead 4-0. The 17-year-old Callum Hudson-Odoi has come on for Pedro.

9.00pm GMT

Leicester City 0-0 Sheffield United So far this has been a fine defensive performance from United, who have restricted Leicester to only two or three good chances.

8.57pm GMT

The second half is a few minutes old at the King Power Stadium, where it’s still Leicester City 0-0 Sheffield United.

8.47pm GMT

That was a swaggering, stylish performance from Chelsea, who have a great chance of reaching the FA Cup quarter-finals.

8.43pm GMT

Olivier Giroud gets his first Chelsea goal! It was a sharp near-post finish from the debutant Emerson’s cross. He’s looked good all night, Giroud, and has been involved in all four goals in one way or another.

8.39pm GMT

With Chelsea 3-0 ahead, the match at Stamford Bridge is petering out. There are six minutes remaining in the first half.

8.36pm GMT

If you’re feeling generous, why not donate to this extremely worthy cause?

(It’s not a link to my bank details.)

8.34pm GMT

A quiet half at the King Power Stadium comes to an end.

8.33pm GMT

This could get embarrassing. Willian gets his second with a precise low shot from 25 yards that beats Marshall and sneaks in off the post. That’s another nice goal.

8.31pm GMT

If you’re not excited about Ethan Ampadu, you should be. For a 17-year-old centre-back he has an almost eerie serenity.

8.29pm GMT

Chelsea’s attacking players look like they are having heaps of fun, and they are playing some lovely football. There’s a moral in there somewhere.

8.29pm GMT

This is another fine goal. Fabregas clips an excellent first-time pass over the defence to Pedro, who controls it neatly in mid-air and then sidefoots it past Marshall.

8.27pm GMT

Chelsea sweep upfield on the counter-attack after a lovely ball out of defence by Ampadu to Willian. He eventually finds Pedro, whose low shot is well saved.

8.24pm GMT

“Since the MBM seems to have fallen to musings, can I observe that the photo at the head of the column shows a very attractive Sheffield United kit?” says Charles Antaki. “The clincher is the thin black border to the traditional red stripe. Very pleasing. Also the young man wearing it has a passing resemblance to Jonathan Woodgate. Anything happening on the pitch?”

No. Big bucks please!

8.24pm GMT

It’s still 0-0 at the King Power Stadium, with nine minutes to go until half-time. Blackman has just made a fine save from Vardy, who was put through one on one by Mahrez. At the other end, Harry Maguire probably saved a goal with a brilliant last-ditch block.

8.23pm GMT

“Well, now that the game at Chelsea is over what should we talk about?” asks JR. “How about we talk about the West Brom players allegedly ganking that taxi in Barcelona? Gareth Barry would have been the last player I would have guessed to be involved in that stupidity. So he’s the all-time Premier League leader in yellow cards and stealing taxis then.”

I do hope they will turn this story into a funny celebration if they score another goal this season.

8.20pm GMT

Drinkwater’s cross skims across the face of goal and just wide. Chelsea could easily be 4-0 up and we’ve only had 19 minutes.

8.16pm GMT

Chelsea look like scoring every time they attack. Fabregas’s teasing through pass is diverted just wide of his own goal by Dawson, who had to do something or Pedro would have scored.

8.15pm GMT

Another chance for Chelsea. Pedro’s lovely flipped pass over the defence is volleyed over the top by Giroud. That was a good chance for his first Chelsea goal.

8.14pm GMT

“Rob,” says Alex Brown. “I think you’re worth big bucks!! Send me your bank sort code and account number and I will immediately transfer vast funds over. Oh; and let me have your date of birth; just as a reference.”

In case of use, my first pet was called Doone.

8.13pm GMT

“Evening, Bob,” writes Mac Millings. “Nostalgia was better in the early 80s, and so was Watford Football Club. The rise of Graham Taylor’s underappreciated Hornets are the subject of this week’s episode of the magnificent Nessun Dorma podcast, in which World’s Leading Watford Expert, Lionel Birnie, tells a good story about a greyhound, and I reveal my disturbing obsession with John Barnes.”

I never thought you’d succumb to the trappings of fame, Millings.

8.12pm GMT

A half chance for Hull, with Irvine heading over from Stewart’s flat cross.

8.10pm GMT

An outrageous elastico pass from Willian finds Fabregas, whose low shot is pushed round by Marshall. It’s all Chelsea.

8.07pm GMT

That early goal should make this a comfortable night for Chelsea. And that kind of insight is why they pay me the small bucks.

8.05pm GMT

Claude Puel picked a strong Leicester side and they are starting to dominate at the King Power Stadium. Jamie Vardy has just shot fractionally wide.

8.03pm GMT

Chelsea take the lead after 106 seconds. It was a fine goal from Willian, who nutmegged Stewart on the edge of the box and curled the ball into the far corner with his left foot. That’s a peach.

8.01pm GMT

Peep peep! Chelsea kick off at Stamford Bridge.

7.55pm GMT

We’ll be concentrating mainly on the Chelsea game, as that’s on TV, but if there’s a goal at Leicester you’ll hear about it fourth. Not much has happened in the first 10 minutes.

7.47pm GMT

Peep peep! The Leicester/Sheffield United match is under way. Let’s have some!

7.07pm GMT

Chelsea (3-4-3) Caballero; Rudiger, Cahill, Ampadu; Zappacosta, Drinkwater, Fabregas, Emerson; Willian, Giroud, Pedro.
Substitutes: Eduardo, Chalobah, Sterling, Scott, Moses, Hudson-Odoi, Morata.

Hull City (4-3-3) Marshall; Meyler, MacDonald, Dawson, Clark; Evandro, Stewart, Irvine; Wilson, Dicko, Diomande.
Substitutes: McGregor, Grosicki, Toral, Batty, Keane, Campbell, Clackstone.

7.02pm GMT

Leicester (4-2-2-2) Schmeichel; Simpson, Morgan, Maguire, Chilwell; Ndidi, Iborra; Mahrez, Gray; Iheanacho, Vardy.
Substitutes: Hamer, Dragovic, Fuchs, James, Silva, Albrighton, Diabate.

Sheffield United (3-5-2) Blackman; Wright, Basham, O’Connell; Baldock, Stevens, Lafferty, Lundstram, Carruthers; Wilson, Donaldson.
Substitutes: Eastwood, Sharp, Stearman, Duffy, Heneghan, Evans, Brooks.

3.38pm GMT

Let us speak frankly: this is not the most inspiring fifth round draw in the history of the FA Cup*. The weekend starts with two fixtures that should be comfortable home wins, but have just enough potential for a shock to assuage my frustration at missing the Judge Judy marathon on Lifetime.

Crisis-club Chelsea, three points off second place in the Premier League and still in the two biggest cup competitions, host Hull City. And Leicester, who aren’t a bad outside bet to reach their first FA Cup final since 1969, are at home to Sheffield United. The matches would look a lot closer if they were being played on David’s patch rather than Goliath’s.

Continue reading...

Europa League: Celtic 1-0 Zenit St Petersburg – as it happened

Callum McGregor’s thrilling late goal gave impressive Celtic a fully deserved victory over a sluggish Zenit in the first leg of their last-32 tie

9.57pm GMT

Scott Brown celebrates victory by offering some hard-faced words of, erm, encouragement to one of the Zenit players. He had a superb game, as did most of the Celtic players. They played with maturity, composure and class, and fully deserved the orgiastic high of Callum McGregor’s late goal. It’ll be tough next week but Celtic have a big chance of reaching the last 16. Thanks for your company, goodnight!

9.55pm GMT

Peep peep! What an excellent night this has been for Celtic.

9.54pm GMT

90+2 min A silly foul from Edouard gives Zenit a free-kick just past the halfway line. Paredes curls it forward and Forrest clears. That might be it.

9.52pm GMT

90 min Two minutes of added time.

9.52pm GMT

89 min Celtic are keeping Zenit at arms length without too much trouble. There is still a lot to do, because Zenit will play much better at home, but this would be a fine result.

9.49pm GMT

87 min Kranevitter, beaten by a lovely piece of skill from Brown, drags his man down and is booked.

9.48pm GMT

86 min That goal has roused Zenit, who are pushing for an equaliser. But Celtic are defending solidly, as they have all night.

9.47pm GMT

85 min Lustig is booked. None of the 48 players on either side who have been booked will miss next week’s second leg. But I suspect a few of them will end up missing the first leg of the last 16, whichever team gets through.

9.46pm GMT

84 min The excellent Dembele, who has worked so hard up front on his own, is replaced by Odsonne Edouard. I think he was booked for leaving the field too slowly, which is a bit harsh.

9.45pm GMT

83 min Brown and Paredes are both booked for an exchange of unpleasantries.

9.43pm GMT

80 min Celtic deserve that goal - even if it came when the players and crowd were as flat as they had been all night.

9.42pm GMT

What a spectacular finish! Musonda, found on the left by Dembele, lobbed a clever angled pass into the area to find McGregor in a bit of space. He took it on the chest while backpedalling and then, from a tight angle on the right edge of the six-yard box, slammed a rising half-volley that flew into the net off the underside of the bar. Pick that out!

9.40pm GMT

The substitute Musonda has made a goal for McGregor!

9.39pm GMT

76 min Musonda is flattened by Smolnikov, who is deservedly booked.

9.37pm GMT

74 min A dangerous headed cross from Kokorin almost reaches Zabolotny, with Ajer stretching to concede a corner. Paredes swings it out and Tierney heads clear.

9.35pm GMT

74 min Kouassi is off! He’s replaced by Charly Musonda.

9.35pm GMT

73 min Kouassi is booked for a foul on Smolnikov.

9.34pm GMT

71 min Scott Brown harasses Kokorin into conceding a corner. Ntcham’s delivery has been poor all night. This one is much better and Lunev punches clear under pressure from Simunovic, who is penalised for breathing the same air as the keeper.

9.31pm GMT

70 min Celtic are starting to get frustrated, both with the lack of a goal and some streetwise timewasting tactics from Zenit.

9.30pm GMT

68 min An ambitious long-range volley from Paredes goes miles wide.

9.27pm GMT

64 min The longer this stays 0-0, the more Celtic will fear a sucker punch. In the meantime, Criscito is booked for a foul on Kouassi.

9.25pm GMT

62 min A double change for Zenit: Kranevitter and Driussi replace Rigoni and Kuzyaev.

9.24pm GMT

61 min Kouassi’s wobbling long-range strike is pushed away by Lunev. It was straight at him but moving awkwardly in the air, which is why he didn’t risk trying to catch it.

9.22pm GMT

60 min Rigoni is okay to continue, at least until his next 50/50 with Scott Brown.

9.21pm GMT

59 min Rigoni is down after a strong but fair tackle from Simunovic.

9.20pm GMT

58 min Celtic are back on top after a slow start to the second half. They have been much the better team in this game.

9.19pm GMT

56 min Ntcham is booked for a late tackle on Erokhin.

9.18pm GMT

56 min Ntcham curls a lovely pass out to Forrest on the right. He comes infield, zig-zags past Criscito and drills a low a shot that is crucially blocked by Mammana.

9.16pm GMT

54 min Another opportunity for Celtic! When Zenit lost the ball, Celtic broke quickly and Tierney clipped a fine crossfield pass to Kouassi. He controlled it with his neck as it bounced up, but then just overhit a fairly routine through ball to McGregor.

9.15pm GMT

53 min This is Zenit’s best spell of possession in the match. And thus far they have done precisely bugger all with it.

9.13pm GMT

50 min It’s been a slow start to the half from both sides. Zenit’s performance has been so sluggish that it has a 1-0 away win written all over it.

9.11pm GMT

47 min I got Celtic’s formation wrong in the first half. It’s actually a 3-1-4-1-1, with wing-backs and a diamond midfield. And that’s the last word I’ll say on the matter!

9.07pm GMT

46 min Peep peep! Zenit begin the second half.

8.57pm GMT

Half-time reading

Related:

8.53pm GMT

Half-time pluggery

“Evening, Bob,” says Mac Millings. “For those of your many readers who feel that nostalgia’s not what it used to be, might I recommend the mighty Nessun Dorma podcast? Many of the finest episodes feature your learnèd self, and the most recent one, on Graham Taylor’s Watford, features me. Wait, where are you all going...?”

8.53pm GMT

Peep peep! That was a cautiously encouraging half for Celtic, who created a lot of half-chances and, with the exception of one very dangerous Zenit attack, kept the back door bolted. The dream scenar of a win and a clean sheet is certainly achievable. See you in 10 minutes for the second half.

8.49pm GMT

43 min Zabolotny shoves Scott Brown over off the ball. They may or may not meet in the tunnel in a few minutes’ time.

8.48pm GMT

42 min Tactically speaking (and really, should one ever speak any other way?) Celtic look set up to win the game 1-0. In that sense it’s been a good half, because they have played with a lot of control and created plenty of half-chances.

8.46pm GMT

40 min Forrest’s deflected shot spins behind for yet another Celtic corner. It’s punched away by Lunev.

8.45pm GMT

39 min A much better corner from Ntcham is headed clear at the far post by a Zenit player, okay?

8.45pm GMT

38 min This is a terrific spell for Celtic, whose increased tempo has rattled Zenit. Lunev demonstrates that with some sloppy goalkeeping, conceding a corner from a cross that was going behind for a goalkick.

8.43pm GMT

37 min Celtic have played with impressive defensive control so far. Zenit have had only one notable attack, when de Vries made that vital save.

8.42pm GMT

36 min Kuzyaev is booked for something or other.

8.42pm GMT

35 min Another opportunity for Celtic! Tierney, on the left, flashes a dangerous low cross towards the near post, where Dembele can’t quite sort his feet out. The ball goes straight between his legs and across the face of goal. In Dembele’s defence, the cross from Tierney was fractionally behind him and hit with a lot of pace.

8.40pm GMT

33 min Lovely play from McGregor, who flips the ball over Paredes’ head on the halfway line and puts Dembele clear in the inside-left channel. He moves into the area and then tries to come back inside Mammana onto his right foot. It’s the wrong decision and Mammana uses his body well before clearing the danger.

8.37pm GMT

31 min McGregor and Forrest combine neatly on the right, and then McGregor fizzes a beautiful low ball right across the face of the goal. Both Dembele and Tierney were on their heels and missed what would have been an open goal.

8.36pm GMT

30 min It’s a poor free-kick, which hits the wall and goes behind for a corner. Celtic’s delivery from wide positions has been poor tonight, and nothing comes of the corner.

8.35pm GMT

29 min Forrest scoots infield from the right and is hoofed up in the air like a balloon by Kokorin. Free-kick to Celtic, to be taken by Ntcham...

8.33pm GMT

28 min Zabolotny dives to win a free-kick on the right-wing. It’s curled in and claimed well under pressure by de Vries.

8.32pm GMT

27 min It’s an interesting, slightly cagey game. Celtic have been the better side and are playing with controlled aggression, but Zenit have had the clearest chance.

8.31pm GMT

26 min “Hi Rob,” says Phil Grey. “Am I right in thinking there could be 6 (six) Premier League teams in the Champions League next season if Arsenal win the Europa League and let’s say for example Liverpool win the Champions League but finish outside the top 4?”

I was wondering about this the other day. I think so, though there may be some small print to cater for such eventualities and prevent Europe being overwhelmed by English swine.

8.30pm GMT

25 min Ntcham’s looping cross from the right deflects to McGregor, whose volley is deflected behind for a corner.

8.28pm GMT

22 min Scott Brown tries some fancy footwork on the right. Throw-in to Zenit.

8.27pm GMT

21 min Forrest is flattened by Kuzyaev, who is a little lucky not to be booked.

8.26pm GMT

20 min The possession score is Celtic 68-32 Zenit.

8.25pm GMT

19 min That double chance was a warning of how dangerous Zenit can be, and after a slow start they are beginning to pass the ball with more confidence.

8.23pm GMT

17 min Tierney is beating Smonikov with ease on the left. Celtic are playing an interesting formation, almost with a diamond midfield and a right-winger in Forrest. Tierney is doing the work of two men, albeit with support from Ntcham, who is playing on the left of that diamond.

8.21pm GMT

16 min A fine dummy from Dembele almost allows McGregor to burst clear. Dembele looks sharp so far.

8.21pm GMT

14 min De Vries makes a crucial save and Tierney clears off the line in the same attack! Criscito’s wonderful low cross from the left was steered towards goal by Zabolotny six yards out. De Vries spread himself to make a vital save with his body, and Tierney was well positioned to kick the follow-up off the line.

8.19pm GMT

13 min Celtic’s high press brings them another decent chance. Kouassi wins the ball just outside the Zenit area and finds McGregor, whose low shot from 20 yards is a bit tame and too close to Lunev.

8.17pm GMT

12 min Brendan Rodgers will be really pleased with this start. Celtic have had most of the ball without looking reckless or leaving themselves exposed.

8.15pm GMT

10 min Zenit have their first decent attack, which culminates in their first corner. Nothing happens.

8.14pm GMT

8 min Ntcham almost gives Celtic the lead! The chance came from a good high press by Forrest, who half-blocked an attempted clearance. The ball was headed towards Dembele, who turned it on cleverly for Ntcham, and he dragged a first-time effort just wide from 15 yards.

8.11pm GMT

5 min A good break from Tierney, whose lofted cross skims off the head of Forrest and is miscontrolled by Dembele, who had to turn and stretch away from goal on the edge of the area.

8.11pm GMT

4 min Zenit have started slowly, happy to sit behind the ball and ease into their first competitive match since December.

8.08pm GMT

3 min It’s been a purposeful start from Celtic, with some snappy passing. Ntcham’s cross is half cleared to Tierney, whose snapshot is deflected behind. Ntcham’s corner is a poor one.

8.06pm GMT

1 min Peep peep! Celtic kick off from left to right. They are in green-and-white hoops; Zenit are in blue.

8.02pm GMT

Before the teams emerge from the tunnel, there’s the usual pre-match rendition of YNWA. It’s stirring stuff, and it would have been even louder had one bespectacled chap - yep, you - joined in rather than munched determinedly on his fingernails.

7.59pm GMT

“Evening Rob,” says a chipper Simon McMahon. “The imminent appointment of Alex McLeish as Scotland manager is in no way a retrograde step. No way. Nor does it mean that there were no better candidates available who were willing to take the job. No sir. Some might call it desperation, blind panic even. Not me. Time for some light relief I think, you can always rely on this Celtic defence for that …”

7.59pm GMT

An email!

“Evening, Rob,” says Mike Cormack. “Can you or any readers tell us how much Zenit have been spending under Mancini? I’m assuming he was lured there with the promise of cash to spend, but I unfortunately don’t keep up with Russian football.”

7.53pm GMT

Brendan Rodgers speaks!

We want a really positive result to take to Russia next week. [On the team selection] At this level you have to have balance between defence and attack, but we’ve got enough technical players who can keep the ball and score goals. It’s a brilliant opportunity for us to make a mark on this competition.

7.33pm GMT

A bit of the old breaking news

Alex McLeish is the new Scotland manager!

Related:

7.11pm GMT

Scott Sinclair is left out against his old manager, with Callum McGregor replacing him. Eboue Kouassi also comes in for Charly Musonda.

Celtic (3-1-4-1-1) de Vries; Lustig, Ajer, Simunovic; Brown; Forrest, Kouassi, Ntcham, Tierney; McGregor; Dembele.
Substitutes: Bain, Hendry, Sinclair, Rogic, Edouard, Miller, Musonda.

2.29pm GMT

Hello there. Forget fear: for all connected with Celtic, it’s time to embrace the thrill of the unknown. They are too good for Scotland and not good enough for the Champions League – but nobody really knows where they stand in the Europa League. That’s why there is such excitement going into this tie against

crack Russian outfit
Zenit St Petersburg.

Zenit, managed by Roberto Mancini, have scored more goals than anyone else in this season’s Europa League. But they haven’t played a competitive game since December and tanked badly in their domestic league before the winter break. Celtic will hope Zenit’s rust is more of a factor than their own huge injury list.

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Southampton 0-2 Liverpool: Premier League - as it happened

First-half goals from Roberto Firmino and the inevitable Mo Salah gave Liverpool an easy victory at St Mary’s

Read Dominic Fifield’s match reportStuart James: Van Dijk grins in the face of fans’ fury

6.20pm GMT

Peep peep! Liverpool move above Spurs into third place after the easiest of victories over a disappointing Southampton. Roberto Firmino and Mo Salah - he could be one to watch - made goals for each other, and the returning Virgil van Dijk played in his slippers. Not much more to say really. Thanks for your company, goodnight.

Related: Mohamed Salah seals the points as Liverpool cruise past Southampton

Related: Virgil van Dijk grins in the face of fans’ fury on happy return to Southampton | Stuart James

6.16pm GMT

90 min There will be four minutes of added nothingness.

6.15pm GMT

89 min One last change for Liverpool: Dejan Lovren replaces the inevitable Mo Salah.

6.12pm GMT

85 min Another great chance goes begging for Liverpool. Lallana, cutting in from the right, plays a one-two with Salah before curling a left-footed shot just wide of the far post. Salah’s return pass was lovely.

6.11pm GMT

84 min Robertson has again been impressive for Liverpool. He hasn’t really been tested defensively but he is so clean and incisive going forward.

6.09pm GMT

82 min “Not only is Mane badly out of form, but he seems to be trying too hard,” says Kelvin. “He also seems to be trying to outdo Salah and be the main man again.”

It’s human nature I suppose. Liverpool will be bloody dangerous in Europe if he finds his form, though. I have a feeling we might get a strange winner (ie not Barcelona, Real or Bayern) this season.

6.07pm GMT

81 min The worry for Southampton is that this second-half performance will undo some of their excellent work in the past month. They gave up at half-time, pretty much.

6.06pm GMT

80 min Another Southampton substitution. Oriol Romeu, who has had a decent game, is replaced by Steven Davis.

6.05pm GMT

79 min Adam Lallana replaces the outstanding Roberto Firmino.

6.04pm GMT

78 min It’s a funny old game, part 3242423. The first half was even yet ended 2-0 to Liverpool. The second half has been all Liverpool and the score is 0-0.

6.02pm GMT

76 min Firmino’s brilliant through pass is misjudged by Wijnaldum but runs to Mane, who screws it wide on the turn. He is badly out of form at the moment.

6.01pm GMT

74 min Van Dijk dispossesses Carrillo with disdainful ease and stabs the ball forward for Mane to lead a counter-attack. He runs 70 yards without challenge before his shot is blocked, and Robertson’s fierce follow-up also hits a defender.

5.57pm GMT

71 min Shane Long replaces James Ward-Prowse.

5.57pm GMT

71 min A double chance for Liverpool to make it 3-0. After a good run from Mane, Firmino’s fierce low shot is kicked away by McCarthy. The rebound comes to Salah, who sweeps it into the side netting. He might have had a hat-trick today.

5.54pm GMT

68 min Southampton need a goal, and they’re about to bring on Shane Long. I’ll let you do the rest.

5.52pm GMT

65 min Hojbjerg’s dangerous ball towards Ward-Prowse is smartly intercepted by van Dijk. He’s had a good game.

5.49pm GMT

63 min Wijnaldum, found by Salah, spanks one high over the bar from 25 yards.

5.48pm GMT

62 min Romeu is booked for a foul on Milner.

5.47pm GMT

61 min Southampton were good in the first half but have been very flat since that second goal. The crowd are barely even bothering to boo van Dijk.

5.46pm GMT

60 min A Liverpool change: James Milner replaces Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain.

5.45pm GMT

59 min An inswinging free-kick from the left by Ward-Prowse is stabbed wide on the volley by Hoedt at the near post. It was a tricky chance, for which he needed a softer touch.

5.44pm GMT

58 min I’m not sure van Dijk has broken sweat.

5.43pm GMT

57 min Boufal replaces the unwell Mario Lemina.

5.43pm GMT

56 min Southampton are preparing to bring on Sofiane Boufal. They need to do something because they are going nowhere.

5.38pm GMT

52 min Southampton have started the second half poorly and look resigned to defeat. It’s been a really bad day for them, with both Huddersfield and Newcastle winning.

5.37pm GMT

50 min Mane’s spectacular scissor kick from the edge of the box is blocked by Lemina. The ball rebounds to Salah, who sweeps an excellent chance over the bar from 15 yards.

5.36pm GMT

49 min Lemina has gone down off the ball. On Sky Sports, Martin Tyler tells us he has an illness rather than an injury. He looks pretty spaced out but he wants to continue.

5.33pm GMT

47 min Can is booked for a foul on Romeu.

5.31pm GMT

46 min Peep peep! Liverpool begin the second half.

5.22pm GMT

Half-time chit-chat

“I have the same confusion over Salah,” says Matt Dony. . He’s scored a truckload, which kind of makes people forget about just how many chances he’s missed. He could quite comfortably have scored an extra 9 or 10 goals this season. At his best, his dribbling and movement is Messi-esque. His second goal last week had more than a whiff of Argentinian magic about it. And he’s got a cool head, as shown by his last-minute heroics for Egypt. But at times, he’s very Steve McManaman. Thrilling run, beat 4 players, scuffed finish. I lean more towards ‘world class’, though. No doubt he’ll be at Barca in the next couple of years...”

5.17pm GMT

That was a tight, even 45 minutes - apart from the two moments when Firmino and Salah sliced Southampton apart with clinical attacking play. See you in 10 minutes for the second half.

5.16pm GMT

45 min The score flatters Liverpool, though both goals were superbly created and finished.

5.15pm GMT

42 min That flick from Firmino was quite brilliant. On reflection I’m not sure it was a flick. It was a pass, perfectly weighted and dragged precisely into the space behind the defence.

5.13pm GMT

It was a superb one-two between Salah and Firmino that led to the goal. The move started when Matip played a crisp pass into Salah, who took it on the half turn 25 yards from goal and flicked it to Firmino. He produced an ingenious, elaborate backflick to put Salah through on goal, and Salah passed it confidently into the net.

5.11pm GMT

What a goal!

5.10pm GMT

40 min Bertrand plays a one-two with Tadic and crosses deep to Ward-Prowse, who plants a tame header straight at Karius from 10 yards. He would have been better off trying to bring that down or backpedalling to hit a volley.

5.07pm GMT

37 min Tadic does well to roll Matip, who wrestles him to the floor and is booked.

5.05pm GMT

33 min This is a good spell for Liverpool, perhaps their best of the match. Robertson plays a give-and-go with Firmino and flashes a terrific ball right across the face of goal.

5.03pm GMT

32 min Mane misses a chance to make it 2-0. He was played through by Wijnaldum and stabbed the ball well wide with his left foot from 15 yards. In his defence he was under a lot of pressure from Cedric, who did really well to get round and make a challenge as Mane was about to shoot.

5.01pm GMT

31 min “What’s the consensus on Salah?” says Matt Loten. “Is he a very good player in the form of his life, or is he a world-class player in the mould of De Bruyne who needed a run of games at the right club (i.e. not Chelsea) to demonstrate his true potential? I go back and forth every time I watch him. He’s got the pace, the movement and the goalscoring record that the top players in his position have, but he still scuffs some easy chances and his touch doesn’t seem as silky or consistent as someone like Robben or Hazard.”

I think he’s world-class. I agree his finishing is oddly erratic, but overall he’s dynamite.

5.00pm GMT

29 min Ward-Prowse smacks an excellent cross towards the penalty spot, where Carrillo towers over Alexander-Arnold and thumps a header that is too close to Karius. Moments later, Ward-Prowse’s far-post header is flicked over by the leaping Karius. That was a good save, though Ward-Prowse might have done better.

4.56pm GMT

25 min Firmino goes over in the Southampton box after a tussle with Stephens. He wants a penalty; nobody else seems interested. Stephens did put hands on Firmino. Moments later, Mane chokes a shot well wide from 25 yards.

4.54pm GMT

24 min Matip shanks a clearance straight out of play. Liverpool aren’t playing particularly well at the moment.

4.50pm GMT

20 min Southampton are playing with a lot of confidence in possession. Liverpool have been fairly quiet with the exception of that clinically taken goal.

4.48pm GMT

18 min Karius makes an excellent save! Romeu clipped a long, angled pass over the head of Robertson that was pulled down at the far post by Hojbjerg. Once he got his bearings he sidefooted the ball towards goal on the half-volley and the outrushing Karius made a fine block.

4.44pm GMT

15 min Stephens, the goalscoring centre-half, drags a long-range shot well wide. Southampton having more of the ball, though that comes with the threat of a Liverpool counter-attack.

4.43pm GMT

13 min “Hi Rob,” says Hubert O’Hearn. “I love Liverpool, but dear Lord over the years we have had the worst third kits. Hated the green ones but peach sorbet? The lads look like cabana boys running margarita trays to dowagers and lizards lounging on Dead Turtle Beach at the Hotel Hello.”

4.41pm GMT

11 min Van Dijk is being booed, though he doesn’t seem remotely perturbed about it.

4.39pm GMT

8 min Oxlade-Chamberlain’s deflected shot from 20 yards is comfortably held by the sprawling McCarthy.

4.37pm GMT

This is clinical from Liverpool. Oxlade-Chamberlain’s ball forward went straight through Hoedt, a poor piece of defending that left Cedric all alone against two Liverpool attackers. Salah drew Cedric across and eased the ball square to Firmino, who finished ruthlessly from 15 yards with his left foot.

4.35pm GMT

3 min The last man Hoedt can’t control Lemina’s sloppy pass, and the ball rebounds for Firmino. He goes over just outside the box after a recovery challenge from Hoedt, and Martin Atkinson waves play on. It was the right decision. Had he given a foul he would have had to send Hoedt off.

4.30pm GMT

1 min Peep peep! Southampton kick off from right to left. They are in red and white; Liverpool are wearing their orange change strip.

4.24pm GMT

An email! “It’s a few years late, but Shelvey may have just turned in his best performance for Liverpool,” says Matt Dony. “How typical would it be to throw it away with a limp defeat to Southampton. Yesterday’s TMO nonsense (we woz robbed!) hasn’t put me in a great mood for this weekend’s sport. Looking for some late redemption. Lallana to come on, score the winner, and celebrate with Mane, VVD et al like absolute madmen.”

4.13pm GMT

‘Remember when is the lowest form of conversation’

4.08pm GMT

It has finished Newcastle 1-0 Manchester United. Bad news for Southampton; great news for Liverpool.

3.43pm GMT

Southampton could start this match in the relegation places. Newcastle are beating Manchester United 1-0 with 20 minutes to go, and if it stays that way they will move above Southampton.

Related: Newcastle United v Manchester United: Premier League – live!

3.33pm GMT

Southampton (4-2-3-1) McCarthy; Cedric, Stephens, Hoedt, Bertrand; Romeu, Lemina; Ward-Prowse; Hojbjerg, Tadic; Carrillo.
Substitutes: Forster, Yoshida, Davis, Boufal, Redmond, Long, Gabbiadini.

Liverpool (4-3-3) Karius; Alexander-Arnold, Matip, van Dijk, Robertson; Oxlade-Chamberlain, Can, Wijnaldum; Salah, Firmino, Mane.
Substitutes: Mignolet, Lovren, Milner, Moreno, Lallana, Ings, Solanke.

1.32pm GMT

Hello. The table says this match is fourth bottom against fourth top, but it doesn’t feel like a formality. Southampton, though still knee deep in the relegation mud, have had a strong start to 2018. And we know all about Liverpool’s polygamous relationship with the sublime and the ridiculous.

There is likely to be a heightened atmosphere at St Mary’s. Virgil van Dijk, one of five ex-Southampton players in the Liverpool squad, will be booed for his part in helping the club make a £55m profit. That’s assuming he plays: Jurgen Klopp must be tempted to make a few changes with Wednesday’s Champions League match against Porto in mind.

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Huddersfield 4-1 Bournemouth: Premier League – as it happened

Huddersfield ended a run of five consecutive league defeats with a brilliant performance in a thumping win over Bournemouth

Read Paul Wilson’s match report

2.11pm GMT

Read Paul Wilson’s match report

Related: Steve Mounié strikes twice as Huddersfield stroll past Bournemouth

1.54pm GMT

That’s a big result for Huddersfield, and an even bigger performance. The way they played - with such intensity and attacking intent - gives them an obvious template for the rest of the season, certainly at home. They ran a good Bournemouth team off the pitch and deserved what was eventually an emphatic victory. Thanks for your company, bye.

1.52pm GMT

David Wagner wanted Mounie to take the penalty to complete his hat-trick, but van La Parra stepped up and scored confidently. What a day for Huddersfield!

1.51pm GMT

90+3 min Pritchard wriggles into the area and is fouled by Gosling.

1.48pm GMT

90 min A corner rebounds towards Lewis Cook, whose stinging shot from the edge of the area is well blocked by Kongolo. There will be six minutes of added time.

1.45pm GMT

88 min “Huddersfield remind me of Everton under Moyes,” says Ian Copestake. “Without this fire in the belly they are limited, but with it they can achieve midtable dominance.”

1.44pm GMT

87 min Bournemouth have had a lot of the ball in the last 10 minutes. But although they have been bright and purposeful, there’s an increasing lack of conviction in their attacking. Huddersfield have done a very good job on them today.

1.41pm GMT

85 min The BT Sport commentator Darren Fletcher tells us that Mooy has a “deep cut” on his knee. That will smart but it’s probably better than ligament damage.

1.41pm GMT

84 min Billings smacks a long-range shot miles over the bar. This game is over.

1.40pm GMT

82 min Huddersfield’s home form will surely decide whether they stay up. All five remaining home games in the league are winnable: Swansea, Crystal Palace, Watford, Everton and Arsenal.

1.38pm GMT

80 min “Afternoon Rob,” says Simon McMahon. “With Man City winning the league at a canter, all the last day drama will be at the bottom, with perhaps around six teams still in the relegation mix on the final day. I support none of the teams, but I’ve already got “as it stands” fever in mid February, goodness knows what it’ll be like come May.”

Hopefully like Romania’s Divizia C, Seria VIII in 1983-84, if only to see Jim White’s happy little face on Sky Sports News.

1.36pm GMT

78 min Bournemouth are going down with a bit of a whimper. They started this game superbly but haven’t been able to cope with Huddersfield’s intensity since they went 2-1 down.

1.33pm GMT

76 min Philip Billing replaces the outstanding Aaron Mooy.

1.33pm GMT

74 min Mooy is being stretchered off, and has both hands over his face. That could be ligament damage. It’s a big worry for Huddersfield because he is their best attacking player.

1.31pm GMT

73 min Mooy is down after a 50/50 with Lewis Cook. It was a fair challenge, but he slipped and may have done something to his knee.

1.30pm GMT

72 min Bournemouth have struggled to cope with Huddersfield’s in-your-face approach. If it stays like this, Huddersfield will jump from 19th to 16th in the great game of Premier League snakes and ladders.

1.29pm GMT

71 min Mousset is booked for throwing the ball away.

1.28pm GMT

70 min Bournemouth make their final change: Adam Smith replaces Steve Cook.

1.27pm GMT

68 min Huddersfield have another chance straight from the kick off. Pritchard’s deflected shot spins just past Mounie, who would have had an open goal to complete his hat-trick.

1.26pm GMT

This was another very good goal. Mooy moved into the box from the left and played a crisp square pass towards Mounie, 15 yards from goal. He took the chance first-time, sweeping a low left-footed shot just inside the near post.

1.24pm GMT

Mounie gets his second to put Huddersfield 3-1 up!

1.24pm GMT

65 min A substitition apiece. Bournemouth bring on Lys Mousset for Junior Stanislas; Huddersfield introduce the hulking Collin Quaner in place of Tom Ince.

1.22pm GMT

64 min Another dangerous inswinging free-kick from Mooy is headed towards goal by Zanka and hits Steve Cook. Mooy’s delivery, particularly from the left, has been excellent.

1.21pm GMT

63 min “Say what you like about the talent of an Eddie Howe but he is yet to pass the Jordan Ibe test,” says Ian Copestake. “Better managers (of Celtic) than he have failed before him.”

I bet he can spell his first name though x

1.20pm GMT

62 min Huddersfield have been very good today against a classy, in-form team. They fully deserve to be ahead.

1.19pm GMT

61 min Ince misses a great chance to make it 3-1! Mooy, by the left corner of the box, coaxed another excellent inswinging cross into the six-yard area. Ince got between Daniels and Ake and header over on the stretch. He just wasn’t able to get over the ball and keep it down.

1.14pm GMT

58 min A Bournemouth change: Josh King replaces Jordon Ibe, which suggests a possible switch to 3-4-1-2 or maybe 4-4-2.

1.13pm GMT

56 min Francis is booked for a foul on van La Parra, who duped him on the left wing.

1.12pm GMT

54 min Bournemouth are unable to relax in possession, such is Huddersfield’s constant nagging. Nag nag nag nag nag. Frasier scurries across the field to find Ibe, who wins a corner off Hadergjonaj. Nothing comes o fit.

1.11pm GMT

52 min “Anyone who knows anything about wrestling knows that Hogan is notorious for always getting Beefcake a job anywhere he (Hogan) goes,” says Adam Timmins. “In fact, the term ‘Beefcake’ in the industry is a general term for someone who owes all their success to a more talented friend.”

And I thought people were paying me a compliment when they christened me Beefcake Bobby.

1.08pm GMT

51 min Huddersfield make a change, with Terence Kongolo replacing the presumably injured Scott Malone.

1.07pm GMT

50 min Wilson’s cutback is unwittingly stabbed towards his own goal by the stretching Zanka. Lossl gets down to make a comfortable save.

1.06pm GMT

49 min “You mention Eddie Howe as possibly the best pound for pound manager,” says Gareth Aherne. “I think Sean Dyche just pips him. What he has achieved at Burnley is astounding.”

I wouldn’t abuse you on a social-media platform for that opinion, certainly. He gets even less credit than Howe, mainly because of a sickening culture of voice prejudice.

1.05pm GMT

48 min Ince turns smartly away from Fraser and finds Mooy, who makes ground before dragging a low left-footed shot wide of the far post from 20 yards.

1.03pm GMT

47 min “Hey up Rob,” says Jon Sundance. “Situated approx a mile from the ground, busy at the stove making a Porcini Risotto and a Lentil & Sweet Potato Soup #culinarydelightsinthehudd. Whilst following your updates and cooking I have been listening to Nick Cave - ‘From Her To Eternity’, and now on with The Fall and ‘Dragnet’ #sundayservice. Dog sprawled out in front ont’ roaring fire. Keep ‘em coming and enjoy the second half! Cheers :)”

I can’t handle such joie de vivre.

1.03pm GMT

46 min Peep peep! Huddersfield begin the second half. Pritchard hares straight for goal and belts a shot wide after 16 seconds. Begovic had it covered.

12.56pm GMT

“If we are talking pound for pound managers,” says Ian Copestake, “surely Big Sam wins by a donut.”

Or a pint of wine.

12.50pm GMT

Half-time chit-chat

“In your intro, you wrote: ‘Eddie Howe doesn’t get a quarter of the credit he deserves,’” says Shaun Wilkinson. “I agree, but my question to you is: why? Is it because Bournemouth are not newsworthy? Is it because he isn’t one of them there fancy foreign managers? Is it because he doesn’t seem to seek publicity himself? My own guess is it is a combination of those three things.”

12.47pm GMT

Peep peep! That was a very entertaining half of football, with Huddersfield’s energy trumping Bournemouth’s passing - at least for the time being. See you in 10 minutes for the second half!

12.44pm GMT

44 min Some neat interplay from Bournemouth. Eventually Stanislas tries to flick the ball through to Wilson, and Malone comes round to make a good interception.

12.42pm GMT

42 min Pritchard thumps a long-range shot into the body of Lewis Cook. Huddersfield have been much the better side since going 2-1 ahead.

12.41pm GMT

41 min It has started bucketing down in Huddersfield. It was dry five minutes ago; now it’s almost biblical.

12.39pm GMT

40 min “There is a place for the odd concise entry (as in min. 20),” says Charles Antaki, “though Spanish-type MBM fans, for example, must pine for more, when their usual diet is along the lines of “minuto 17: Gol de Cristiano…..[long silence].. minuto 25: Ramos expulsado”.”

12.39pm GMT

39 min This is a decent spell for Huddersfield, whose energy with and without the ball has been a feature of the first half.

12.36pm GMT

34 min “Always nice to see a reference to Brutus ‘The Barber’ Beefcake,” says Tim Travers, “a forgotten Hogan mate who was dropped as soon as someone better/easier to boss about came along.”

He’s not forgotten by me. Not now, not ever.

12.32pm GMT

31 min It’s end-to-end-to-end-to-end stuff. Bournemouth win another corner after a good run from the tireless wing-back Fraser - and it almost leads to an equaliser. It was a brilliant training-ground routine, with Daniels fizzing the ball low into a zone about 10 yards from goal. A series of dummy runs made room for Steve Cook to come around the ball and clip a first-time shot just wide of the far post.

12.29pm GMT

29 min This is a cracking game. Given their recent form, Huddersfield’s spirit and attacking intent has been so impressive.

12.28pm GMT

28 min The goal came from a debatable free-kick, given for a barge by Lewis Cook on Hogg.

12.28pm GMT

Huddersfield are back in front! Mooy’s excellent inswinging free-kick from deep on the left dropped straight onto the head of Mounie, who got a run on Francis and planted an excellent downward header into the net.

12.24pm GMT

23 min Huddersfield keep the pressure on from the corner. Mooy sennds in a deep, dipping cross from the left that is headed straight at Begovic by Zanka, six yards from goal. I think he was put off by a teammate falling in front of him but it was still a decent chance.

12.23pm GMT

23 min Huddersfield win a corner, their first of the match I think. Ince curls it in and Gosling heads clear. This entry won’t be winning any awards, will it.

12.20pm GMT

20 min The Huddersfield crowd, if not the players, appeal for handball when Malone’s cross hits the sliding Cook. Replays show it wasn’t handball so much as ballball.

12.18pm GMT

18 min Gosling is booked for pulling back Pritchard. This is a good, open game.

12.17pm GMT

16 min There are some players whose heart rate seems to go down in the penalty area - Romario and Robert Pires come to mind. Either of them would have been happy to call that Stanislas goal their own.

12.15pm GMT

Fraser, running down the right onto Ibe’s pass, curved a terrific first-time cross around the line of Huddersfield defenders to find Stanislas at the far post. He controlled the ball and then, with an almost ostentatious calmness, passed it gently into the net from 10 yards. That was such a classy finish.

12.13pm GMT

This is a lovely equaliser from Bournemouth.

12.12pm GMT

11 min There’s such a good atmosphere at the John Smith’s Stadium. There’s so much to admire about these two teams really.

12.09pm GMT

9 min That was a nicely worked goal from Huddersfield, though Simon Francis’s defending on the left wing was pretty poor.

12.09pm GMT

The goal came out of nothing. Mounie retrieved a long ball down the left wing and skipped into the area away from Francis. As defenders came across he slipped the ball back to Pritchard, who wrapped his left foot around it and crashed an excellent first-time finish past Begovic.

12.07pm GMT

Alex Pritchard gives Huddersfield the lead!

12.06pm GMT

6 min There’s a bit of a strut about Bournemouth when they have possession, as you’d expect given their recent form.

12.05pm GMT

5 min Schindler towers above Ibe to win a header and lands on the turf like a wrestler who’s been bodyslammed by Brutus ‘The Barber’ Beefcake. There’s a break in play while he receives treatment; he’s fine.

12.02pm GMT

2 min Eddie Howe talked about a fast start and Bournemouth have made one. They win a couple of corners down the left, the second of which is punched away awkwardly by Lossl.

12.00pm GMT

1 min Peep peep! Bournemouth kick off from right to left. In an unrelated development, let’s hear from Roy Hodgson.

Meanwhile, this is outstanding from Roy Hodgson pic.twitter.com/ngezmvuqNg

11.49am GMT

Eddie Howe speaks! “Huddersfield are a good team at home. We have to start well - I think that will be crucial, keeping the crowd out of the game. With the team we’ve got today we can play various systems. We’ve been on a good run in front of goal and hopefully that shows against today.”

11.04am GMT

Huddersfield Town (4-2-3-1) Lossl; Hadergjonaj, Zanka, Schindler, Malone; Pritchard, Hogg; van La Parra, Mooy, Ince; Mounie.
Substitutes: Coleman, Kongolo, Hefele, Billing, Sabiri, Williams, Quaner.

AFC Bournemouth (3-4-2-1) Begovic; Francis, S Cook, Ake; Fraser, L Cook, Gosling, Daniels; Ibe, Stanislas; Wilson.
Substitutes: Boruc, Smith, Simpson, Surman, Arter, King, Mousset.

1.18pm GMT

Hello there. Everything is abbreviated these days; totes ridic innit FFS FML. Even second-season syndrome, where promoted teams find it almost impossible to replicate impressive first year in the top flight, has been shortened. Huddersfield are the latest club to suffer from the catchily entitled modern phenomenon that is second-half-of-the-first-season syndrome.

It’s often the case that promoted teams arrive bright-eyed and bushy-tailed to the Premier League, with an intrepid atitude and a surfeit of charm. They have a fine start, usually with at least one famous win over a Big Boy, before being slowly, inexorably, dragged into the relentless misery of a relegation battle.

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Manchester City 5-1 Leicester City: Premier League – as it happened

Sergio Aguero scored four second-half goals and Kevin De Bruyne produced a hat-trick of gorgeous assists as City moved 16 points clear at the top

7.37pm GMT

From Jamie Jackson at the Etihad:

Related: Sergio Agüero hits fizzing four in Manchester City’s mauling of Leicester

7.21pm GMT

Peep peep! An easy win for City, who move 16 points clear at the top of the table. Sergio Aguero bashed four second-half goals, and resident genius Kevin de Bruyne produced a hat-trick of beautiful assists. Thanks for your company, goodnight!

7.18pm GMT

90+1 min By their standards, City haven’t actually played that well today. They’re winning 5-1.

7.18pm GMT

A-hem, as I was saying. Sergio Aguero gets his fourth goal with an utter screamer! He received the ball from Foden 22 yards out, moved it onto his right foot and whacked a vicious, dipping shot that went straight above Schmeichel’s head and in off the crossbar.

7.16pm GMT

90 min The official EA Sports Man of the Match is Sergio Aguero. Idiots. It should have been de Bruyne.

7.16pm GMT

89 min Harry Maguire is booked.

7.12pm GMT

85 min De Bruyne shoots from 35 yards and almost belts it out of the ground. When you see standards slip like that, you have to ask: has Kevin de Bruyne taken Kevin de Bruyne as far as he can?

7.11pm GMT

84 min This match could be used as a riddle. Which game included two hat-tricks and ended 4-1? Aguero’s three goals will go in the book but De Bruyne’s three assists are the thing we’ll remember about the game.

7.10pm GMT

83 min Vardy and Laporte are booked after sticking their heads together off the ball.

7.07pm GMT

81 min Another City change: Otamendi off, John Stones on.

7.06pm GMT

80 min A City substitution: Phil Foden replaces Fernandinho.

7.05pm GMT

Sergio Aguero gets another hat-trick! This time the assist goes to Kasper Schmeichel. He tried to pass the ball to Dragovic and instead gave it straight to Aguero on the edge of the area. He took a touch and chipped the ball teasingly over Schmeichel into the net. Schmeichel has had a bad day with his feet.

7.04pm GMT

76 min Otamendi’s deft chest-volley is held by Schmeichel, and at the other end Ederson hares from his line to just beat Vardy to a through ball. Good goalkeeping.

7.01pm GMT

74 min Leicester make a balls of a training ground free-kick.

7.00pm GMT

73 min Laporte is robbed on the halfway line by Vardy, which allows Mahrez to move towards the penalty area. Gundogan brings him down 25 yards from goal and is booked.

6.59pm GMT

72 min Some people say De Bruyne has that rare, magical ability to play as if he has a bird’s eye view of the pitch. I don’t agree with that. He sees things that most of us wouldn’t spot if we had a bird’s eye view and the ability to freeze time.

6.58pm GMT

71 min Ndidi is booked for crunching Gundogan.

6.58pm GMT

70 min Bernardo Silva shuffles infield from the right and eases a lovely curling shot that drifts just past the far top corner.

6.55pm GMT

68 min The match is starting to peter out, with City about to move 16 points clear.

6.54pm GMT

66 min “De Bruyne is indeed one of the best passers of the ball that I’ve ever seen but the problem with him being the best in the world now is that there’s a left peg on a certain Argentinian who’s been doing that for a decade now,” says Paul Fitzgerald.

I think De Bruyne’s a better crosser than Messi, but you can make a reasonable argument for either.

6.52pm GMT

65 min Danilo replaces the quietly impressive Oleksandra Zinchenko. That is probably because of the introduction of Mahrez, who will be cutting in on his left foot all the time. Danilo is right-footed, Zinchenko isn’t.

6.51pm GMT

64 min After good play from Sterling and Gundogan, Aguero crunches the ball high and wide from a tight angle.

6.49pm GMT

63 min And now Iheanacho replaces Ben Chilwell.

6.49pm GMT

62 min Mahrez replaces Fousseni Diabate, who had a quiet game, and is cheered by both sets of fans.

6.48pm GMT

61 min Leicester are about to make a double change, with Manchester City players of the past and a parallel universe coming on: Kelechi Iheanacho and Riyad Mahrez.

6.47pm GMT

60 min Here’s Ian Copestake. “Matt Loten (half-time chit-chat) puts into words how I feel about Karius at Liverpool.”

He’s redefining the position all right.

6.46pm GMT

59 min De Bruyne’s outswinging corner is headed a few yards wide of the far post by Otamendi.

6.45pm GMT

58 min Another poor clearance from Schmeichel goes to Sterling, who runs 30 yards down the left and into the area before slipping the ball back towards Gundogan. His first-time shot is crucially blocked by the diligent Albrighton and flies behind for a corner.

6.43pm GMT

57 min “I do get what David Hopkins says but there is one thing we are forgetting,” says Andy. “He signed a contract which no doubt financially remunerated him exceptionally well. If he wants to break that by leaving earlier then the employer who, as far as I am aware haven’t treated him that badly, not as bad as dpd to their ‘self-employed’ employees, are perfectly within their rights to say yes...but on our own terms. You make a pact with the devil...well be prepared to accept there is a price.”

The argument against that is that the modern culture of football has made contracts almost irrelevant, and that therefore he was entitled to assume he’d get his move. I can see both sides.

6.42pm GMT

54 min For a normal player that third assist would have been a gem; for De Bruyne it was almost mundane. I’m struggling to think of a better hat-trick of assists in one game.

6.40pm GMT

Goodnight. It’s a hat-trick of assists for De Bruyne. This was fairly simple by his standards, a precise angled pass from an inside-right position that Aguero took in his stride and smashed through Schmeichel at the near post. It came from a poor clearance by Schmeichel, which went straight to Fernandinho 35 yards from goal. He moved it to De Bruyne, who eased it through for Aguero to score.

6.39pm GMT

51 min Sterling runs square across the Leicester area, bounces off Albrighton and appeals for a penalty. There was nothing in that.

6.36pm GMT

A genius is at work in Manchester tonight. De Bruyne, on the left, cuts infield and plays a simple pass to Sterling. He moves forward to meet the return pass on the left corner of the box and opens his body to caress a stunning inswinging cross between Maguire and Schmeichel. It reaches Aguero, who sidefoots into an open net from six yards. That was another ridiculous pass/cross from De Bruyne, again played first time into a perfect area. He isn’t just the best crosser in the world; he’s one of the best crossers of all time.

6.34pm GMT

48 min “Your observation about sleepwalking is even more interesting if you draw parallels to Guardiola’s seasons at Bayern Munich,” says Konstantin Sauer. “In his first season he (infamously) stated the “league was over” after winning the Bundesliga championship and started fielding teams entirely made from youth players, which finally led to a drop in tension and crashing defeats in the Champions League semis. Even if he learned from that mistake, Bayern’s superiority in the league would still make them vulnerable during the later stages in the Champions League the following seasons. I wonder what Guardiola will do this time to keep up the pace and prevent that same situation unfold again.”

Yeah, it’s really tricky. How do you retain a competitive edge without knackering your players before Easter? Goodness knows. It’s tricky at the moment because of injuries. I would start by giving Foden regular games and resting a different midfield player each week.

6.34pm GMT

47 min It looks like Leicester have switched to a 4-5-1, with Chilwell and Diabate playing wide in midfield and Albrighton in the centre.

6.32pm GMT

46 min Peep peep! Leicester begin the second half. They have made a tactical change, with Adrien Silva replaced by Danny Simpson.

6.21pm GMT

Half-time chit-chat

“Can we not blank Sterling’s miss from our minds just yet?” says Ian Copestake. “It was his imitation of a four-year old throwing itself to the floor when it did not get what it wanted that I treasure most.”

6.17pm GMT

Peep peep! That was a strangely subdued half. Raheem Sterling gave City an early lead from a stunning Kevin de Bruyne cross, and for a while Leicester couldn’t get out of their third, never mind their half. But a typically decisive thrust from Jamie Vardy brought an equaliser, and since then the game has been a little more even. See you in 10 minutes for the second half.

6.15pm GMT

45 min Even by the standards of the Premier League, the atmosphere is funereal. It might be the crowd mics I suppose.

6.13pm GMT

43 min The pressure is building on Leicester, who could really use half-time.

6.13pm GMT

42 min “Can I offer an alternative view on Mahrez?” says David Hopkins. “He was offered the chance for an enhanced career move, then had it taken away. Those in other well-paid industries would be peeved, and might well ‘work from home’ for a few days. Why aren’t footballers extended the same courtesy?”

Yeah, I can see both sides. Personally I think it’s a bit more complex than saying he’s a spoilt brat. I suppose I have more sympathy because I went through something similar when the Guardian blocked my move to the Sunday Sport.

6.12pm GMT

41 min The wonderful De Bruyne plays a cute angled pass into the area for Sterling, who goes round Schmeichel and flicks the ball towards goal from a tight angle. It would have gone in but for Dragovic, who slid in front of the near post to make a superb block.

6.09pm GMT

37 min It’s interesting how often teams who have effectively won the title by Christmas cannot help but sleepwalk through the second half of the season: Manchester United 2000-01, Chelsea 2005-06, Manchester United 2012-13, Chelsea 2014-15. City aren’t sleepwalking yet but nor are they playing at the awesome levels they reached earlier in the season.

6.07pm GMT

36 min “So as both a journalist and a human you cannot take a position without knowing the facts?” says Ian Copestake. “How quaint.”

Realistically, I’m a throwback to better days. It’s not easy being mankind’s last serious hope of salvation, but I live with that responsibility as best I can.

6.04pm GMT

34 min The replay suggests Mike Jones was right to ignore that City penalty appeal. It might have been a dive by Sterling, though it’s hard to be sure these days.

6.03pm GMT

33 min De Bruyne, the only City player showing much urgency, wallops a low shot from the left of the box that is palmed behind at the near post by Schmeichel.

6.03pm GMT

32 min Sterling, just inside the penalty area on the left, goes down after a challenge from Silva. Mike Jones ignores it. We haven’t seen a replay yet but I think it was the right decision.

6.01pm GMT

31 min Either Sky have the crowd mics turned down or the atmosphere is terribly subdued at the Etihad. They’re watching probably the most magical team in City’s history!

6.00pm GMT

30 min “Re Andy at 6 minutes and it being fashionable to knock today’s players .... I’d like to give great credit to Mesut Ozil among others for having the good sense to take the money and run,” says Gene Salorio. “Every profession has members who over-rate themselves and think they should be top dog -- the character actor who thinks he should be a star, members of rock groups who insist on disastrous solo careers, Michael Gove etc. -- and it’s refreshing to see football players who recognize that a good deal beats yet more ego gratification.”

I thought the problem with Ozil was that he didn’t run? Honk! Ho-honk!

5.59pm GMT

29 min Bernardo Silva twists Fuchs inside out on the right of the box before curving a crosshot from a very tight angle that is beaten away by Schmeichel. Moments later, Fernandinho’s deflected 20-yard shot is held to his left by Schmeichel.

5.55pm GMT

26 min Gundogan’s long-range curler is comfortably held by Schmeichel.

5.54pm GMT

Leicester score on the counter-counter-attack. A loose square pass from Otamendi just inside his own half went to Vardy, who rode a couple of tackles and hared straight towards the penalty area as the last man Laporte backpedalled. Once he was into the box Vardy shifted the ball to the side and hit a low shot that nicked off Laporte and past Ederson.

5.53pm GMT

23 min Leicester’s first decent attack leads to a corner on the left. It’s headed away and City break four on three. Sterling plays a good angled pass to Aguero, who is unusually indecisive in the box and loses the ball to Fuchs. He clips the ball back towards the halfway line, and then...

5.51pm GMT

21 min Aguero moves into the box on the left after some smooth one-touch play, but Maguire makes a good interception. This is, as Jamie Carragher has just said on Sky, a training session. Attack and defence, invasion and repulsion.

5.49pm GMT

18 min I genuinely can’t remember the last time Leicester crossed the halfway line. It’s not their fault.

5.47pm GMT

17 min Sterling does superbly to keep an overhit pass in play before whipping a cross to the near post that is pushed away unconvincingly by Schmeichel. A second City goal is in the post.

5.46pm GMT

15 min Leicester can’t lay a finger on City at the moment. City don’t get enough credit for an exceptional defensive record this season - they’ve conceded only 19 goals in the league, the second best behind Manchester United.

5.45pm GMT

13 min That was Sterling’s 20th goal of the season. His previous best was 11. It’s so good for England to have five or six players working under Pep Guardiola.

5.42pm GMT

12 min The only good thing for Leicester is that they will still be playing on the counter-attack, even at 1-0 down. At the moment, the ball in behind for Vardy seems to cover Plans A-F. You can’t blame them for that, especially after the success he had against City last season.

5.40pm GMT

10 min Leicester pump a long ball in behind for Vardy. He gets away from Laporte but the impressive Ederson comes out of his box to clear.

5.39pm GMT

6 min “I know it is fashionable to knock today’s players in a financially bloated industry but here goes,” says Andy. “Mahrez and his like should go to reality-check classes to realize just how lucky they are to be doing something they love. Most are not so lucky and a lot are really struggling in an increasingly self-interested society.”

5.35pm GMT

4 min That was suich a good cross from De Bruyne. As with so many of his balls into the box, it brought to mind the greatest crosser who has ever lived, David Beckham.

5.34pm GMT

3 min There was a degree of catharsis in that goal for Sterling, who missed embarrassingly from a very similar position at Burnley last weekend.

5.33pm GMT

That didn’t take long. Kevin de Bruyne, in a narrow position on the right, curls a glorious first-time cross into the corridor or uncertainty between defenders and goalkeeper. It bounces up at the far post, where Sterling gets in front of Albrighton and taps into an open net from four yards.

5.30pm GMT

1 min Peep peep! City, in sky blue, kick off from left to right. Leicester are in their black away kit.

5.28pm GMT

Sky have resolved their technical problems and the match is about to begin. Let’s get it on.

5.23pm GMT

I was expecting to see Manchester City v Leicester City on Sky Sports, but at the moment there seems to be a never-ending montage of the 2014-15 season. If it carries on much longer I’ll have to start liveblogging it.

5.23pm GMT

The soft sell Like old football? Then it’s not beyond the realms of possibility that might like this!

Related: Nessun Dorma: the podcast that celebrates 1980s and 1990s football

5.11pm GMT

An email! “Hi Rob,” says Jill O’Donnell. “Do you think the fact that Slimani has gone has only added to Mahrez’s ennui?”

I suspect his ennui levels were already at maximum. I have a fair bit of sympathy for Mahrez though, as always with these things, it’s hard to play judge and jury when you don’t have all the facts.

4.34pm GMT

The 3pm kick-offs are into the last 15 minutes. You can get the latest news with Interpol’s most wanted, Will Unwin.

Related: Everton v Crystal Palace, West Ham v Watford and more – live!

4.34pm GMT

Riyad Mahrez is on the bench for Leicester. Yep, Manchester City do have seven substitutes today.

Manchester City (1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1) Ederson; Walker, Otamendi, Laporte, Zinchenko; Fernandinho; De Bruyne, Gundogan; B Silva, Aguero, Sterling.
Substitutes: Bravo, Danilo, Kompany, Stones, Diaz, Nmecha, Foden.

2.42pm GMT

Hello. Manchester City’s away form may have gone to pieces in recent weeks but they remain invincible at home. They have won the last 12 league games at the Etihad Stadium, scoring 123219 goals in that time, and a comfortable win is the likeliest outcome of today’s match against Leicester.

That said, it’s not beyond the realms that Leicester could pull off a shock draw. City, who are 13 points clear and can afford a slip-up or four, should have one eye on their Champions League match in Basel on Tuesday. And Leicester have the counter-attacking game to test City’s largely untested defence.

Continue reading...

Manchester United 2-0 Huddersfield, Leicester 1-1 Swansea and more – as it happened

Alexis Sanchez scored his first goal for Man Utd and Southampton won their first league match since November on an eventful afternoon

5.00pm GMT

That was a pretty eventful afternoon in the old Premier League. The big winners are Brighton and Southampton. Three of the teams who were beaten now occupy the relegation places: West Brom, Huddersfield and Stoke.

We’ll have fresh, slow-cooked match reports on the website in the next few minutes - you can read them by following this link and pressing F5 repeatedly. Thanks for your company, goodnight!

4.57pm GMT

Southampton win in the league for the first time since November. They’ve played pretty well of late, with a number of draws, and this victory is validation of their work. They have moved up to 14th as a result.

4.55pm GMT

“I hope the dropping of the final letter from a team’s name as you did with Everto is not some trend you are trying to introduce,” says Ian Copestake. “The other half of Merseyside will not be happy.”

Tell it to Twate FC.

4.54pm GMT

Brighton move up to 13th after a fine victory in a game of full of excellent goals.

4.53pm GMT

A straightforward win for Manchester United, with Alexis Sanchez scoring on his home debut.

4.52pm GMT

Swansea’s fine form continues with a good point at Leicester. And that’s an excellent win for Bournemouth, with both goals coming from substitutes. Eddie Howe is great, the end.

4.51pm GMT

Cardiff have pumped Leeds 4-1 at Elland Road. Neil Warnock will be happy tonight, which isn’t always the case. (Clip contains adult language.)

4.49pm GMT

“Do Arsenal fans still think of Man United as ‘rivals’?” says Matt Dony. “That’s cute...”

4.48pm GMT

Southampton are keeping West Brom at arm’s length. Their last Premier League win was in November, when they tonked Everto 4-1.

4.43pm GMT

With a few minutes remaining, these are the scores in the Premier League.

4.41pm GMT

“Arsenal fans wish Alexis Sánchez all the best,” says Charles Antaki. “Also Theo Walcott. This message come to you from a stress-reduction service, operated on behalf of Arsenal fans sick of seeing ex-players score for rivals.”

4.38pm GMT

Snakes and Ladders latest As things stand, there are three points between Watford in 11th and Huddersfield in 19th.

4.37pm GMT

Eddie Howe should be the England manager, shouldn’t he.

4.36pm GMT

Eddie Howe’s substitutions have had a spectacular impact at the Vitality Stadium. Josh King equalised, and now Lys Mousset has headed Bournemouth ahead from a superb Jordon Ibe free-kick.

4.35pm GMT

Pascal Gross embroiders a marvellous individual performance with an excellent goal, smacked past Adrian from inside the D. Brighton are on course for a vital victory.

4.34pm GMT

The latest in the Premier League

4.31pm GMT

This is a humdinger at the Hawthorns. Chris Brunt’s fizzing cross is headed in off the post by Venezuelan goal machine Salomon Rondon, and West Brom are back in the match.

4.28pm GMT

Josh King equalises for Bournemouth! They have been much better in the second half, and probably deserves that smartly taken goal by the substitute King.

4.28pm GMT

Alexis Sanchez scores on his home debut, tapping in from eight yards after his penalty was brilliantly saved by Jonas Lossl.

4.26pm GMT

A win for Manchester United would put them eight points clear of fifth-placed Spurs, who go to Liverpool tomorrow.

4.19pm GMT

Jose Izquierdo has put Brighton ahead with a big dipper from long range. What a strike! He retrieved an overhit corner and then, from the left.

4.17pm GMT

The latest Premier League scores

4.16pm GMT

United have taken the lead at Old Trafford. Mata’s excellent left-wing cross is volleyed smartly into the net at the near post by Romelu Lukaku. That’s a good goal.

4.15pm GMT

Ward-Prowse whips a free-kick into the net to extend Southampton’s lead at the Hawthorns. That would be a huge victory for them.

4.10pm GMT

Swansea were battered in the first half but now they are level. Federico Fernandez got the goal, applying his noggin to an inswinging corner from Ki.

4.09pm GMT

As things stand, Southampton will jump to 14th in the table. It’s extremely tight down there, as nobody said to nobody.

4.06pm GMT

Peep peep! The second halves have begun. Go on lads! You can shape your own future in the next 45 minutes!

3.50pm GMT

These are the Premier League scores at the break.

3.45pm GMT

Two in four minutes for Southampton! Ward-Prowse’s inswinging corner from the left is headed in by Jack Stephens, who got in front of his man at the near post. Southampton may be set to win their first Premier League game since November.

3.43pm GMT

Sheffield Wednesday are 2-0 down at home to Birmingham, and now they have 10 men after the dismissal of Marco Matias. If they’re not careful, Birmingham will knock them into the middle of next week. (That line is borrowed/stolen from the great Neil Morton.)

3.42pm GMT

Southampton are level! Mario Lemina, 25 yards from goal, thrashes a superb shot past Ben Foster. I think Foster was unsighted but I doubt he’d have saved it in any case.

3.40pm GMT

“Just saw the no penalty call with McTominay,” says Nicholas. “How was that not given? The guy leads with his knee.”

It wasn’t a foul, it was ABH.

3.31pm GMT

West Ham are level at the Amex Stadium through a high-class finish from Javier Hernandez, who dummied a couple of defenders before belting the ball into the roof of the net.

3.30pm GMT

Leicester are all over like Swansea like a cheap one, and Wilfred Ndidi has just had a goal disallowed for offside.

3.29pm GMT

As things stand, there are only five points separating the bottom 11 teams in the Premier League.

3.25pm GMT

“By my calculations your ‘steamy foreplay’ took 19 minutes to be completed,” says Ian Copestake. “You sly dog.”

I can take no credit for my gift. You’re either born with it or you’re not.

3.24pm GMT

These are the latest Premier League scores:

3.21pm GMT

Manchester United should have had a penalty at Old Trafford, where the youngster Scott McTominay was emphatically cleaned out by Terence Kongolo. The referee Stuart Attwell gave a drop ball.

3.17pm GMT

Who needs Riyad Mahrez?!?!?!?! Maguire and Iheanacho combine to free Vardy, who put Leicester into the lead.

3.16pm GMT

“Afternoon Rob,” says Steven Hughes. “I wonder if anyone at Manchester City has tried to crowbar The Fall’s tune ‘He Pep!’ into use yet? Their oeuvre is so massive that it might have been missed and the late, great Mark E. Smith was a Manchester City fan himself.”

3.08pm GMT

Early goals galore in the Premier League. An excellent advantage from the referee Roger East allows Glenn Murray to eventually run through on goal and calmly slide the ball past Adrian.

3.07pm GMT

“Right,” claps Matt Dony. “With City dropping points, I’m looking for Huddersfield to repeat their heroics against Jose’s Big Time Comedy Troupe (sadly Phil Jones-less), and Liverpool to close the gap to 16(!) points tomorrow. This does not slip! Admittedly, there’s a chance I’m being over-enthused by an inexperienced Wales side sticking it to Scotland in ‘that other game’, but nonetheless. Come on, Wagner!”

3.06pm GMT

Crikey, Stoke lead against in-form Bournemouth through a header (H-E-A-D-E-R) from Xherdan Shaqiri. It was made by the new signing Badou Ndiaye.

3.05pm GMT

A great start for West Brom, and lovers of set-pieces. Brunt’s corner, Hegazi’s header: pick that out.

3.01pm GMT

The 3pm games are kicking off. In Scotland, Kilmarnock have completed a famous win over the champions Celtic. Youssouf Mulumbu scored the only goal.

2.55pm GMT

Hard sales pitch

Do you like old football? If so, you might like this. Also, I know where you live.

Related: Nessun Dorma: the podcast that celebrates 1980s and 1990s football

2.53pm GMT

“It might be that Guardiola is still learning about English football,” says Bill Hargreaves. “What price a move for Crouch or Carroll in the next window, get Vincent Jones in for a bit of coaching, take a leaf out of Paul Newman’s book.”

A Pep mid-career crisis would be fun. He could wear a baseball cap for every game, do post-match interviews in a Sean Dyche voice and ask that the media refer to him as Big Pep.

2.45pm GMT

“Hey Rob,” says JR in Illinois. “Pardon my French but WTF is Pardew doing benching Rodriguez? Is Pardew afraid Rodriguez’s form is too good or what? The Baggies missing Evans, Gibbs, and Livermore has me feeling very worried.”

2.44pm GMT

Nicky Hunt, Kevin Nolan and Jaaskelainen all on the the same teamsheet. It's like the early 2000s all over again https://t.co/xsbDl3m7S1

Breaking news: Notts County sign Mario Jardel, Per Frandsen, Ibrahim Ba and Jay-Jay Okocha.

2.26pm GMT

It has finished Burnley 1-1 Manchester City at Turf Moor. City go 16 points clear but have won none of their last three away games in the Premier League. Has Pep Guardiola taken them as far as he can?

2.24pm GMT

Daniel Sturridge starts for West Brom.

West Bromwich Albion (4-4-2) Foster; Dawson, McAuley, Hegazi, Nyom; Phillips, Yacob, Barry, Brunt; Sturridge, Rondon.
Substitutes: Myhill, Jameson, McClean, Burke, Harper, Field, Rodriguez.

2.20pm GMT

Paul Pogba is dropped, one of four changes from the United side that lost at Wembley on Wednesday night.

Manchester United (4-2-3-1) De Gea; Valencia, Smalling, Rojo, Shaw; McTominay, Matic; Mata, Lingard, Sanchez; Lukaku.
Substitutes: Romero, Lindelof, Pogba, Carrick, Young, Martial, Rashford.

2.16pm GMT

There’s no Riyad Mahrez in Leicester’s matchday squad. We’re just waiting for confirmation whether he is injured or has been dropped.

Leicester City (4-4-2) Schmeichel; Simpson, Maguire, Dragovic, Fuchs; Albrighton, Silva, Ndidi, Diabate; Iheanacho, Vardy.
Substitutes: Hamer, Chilwell, Benalouane, Gray, Iborra, James, Okazaki.

2.12pm GMT

Burnley have deservedly equalised against Manchester City. Scott Murray has the latest news.

Related: Burnley v Manchester City: Premier League – live!

2.11pm GMT

Brighton & Hove Albion (4-4-1-1) Ryan; Schelotto, Duffy, Dunk, Bong; Knockaert, Stephens, Propper, Izquierdo; Gross; Murray.
Substitutes: Krul, Bruno, Goldson, March, Baldock, Ulloa, Kayal.

West Ham United (3-5-1-1) Adrian; Collins, Ogbonna, Rice; Byram, Zabaleta, Noble, Kouyate, Cresswell; Joao Mario; Hernandez.
Substitutes: Hart, Reid, Fonte, Haksabanovic, Antonio, Cullen, Hugill.

2.07pm GMT

Bournemouth (3-4-2-1) Begovic; Francis, Cook, Ake; Fraser, Cook, Gosling, Daniels; Ibe, Stanislas; Wilson.
Substitutes: Boruc, Simpson, Surman, Pugh, Arter, King, Mousset.

Stoke City (3-4-2-1) Butland; Zouma, Shawcross, Cameron; Bauer, Ndiaye, Allen, Pieters; Shaqiri, Choupo-Moting; Crouch.
Substitutes: Grant, Johnson, Stafylidis, Adam, Diouf, Sobhi, Berhaino.

1.58pm GMT

Manchester City are on course to move 18 points clear at the top of the table. Scott Murray has the latest from Turf Moor, where Ederson has just made a storming save.

Related: Burnley v Manchester City: Premier League – live!

4.50pm GMT

Hello you. The Premier League may not give good title race – only seven out of 26 have gone to the final day, and only three to the final minute – but you can usually put your parachute payment on a dramatic relegation battle. Look at Les Ferdinand’s face here. That kind of glazed, desperate look - once reserved for nightclub dancefloors when the slow songs came on at 1.45am - sums up the raw need to avoid relegation.

It’s safe to assume a few people will wear a similar facial expression on 13 May, the last day of the 2017-18 Premier League season. There are probably 11 teams who could still go down, from Bournemouth in 10th place to West Brom in 2oth. It’s one big game of snakes and ladders, and eight of those teams will be rolling the dice this afternoon.

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Australia v England: fourth one-day international – as it happened

Travis Head’s 96 helped Australia to a three-wicket victory at Adelaide after they reduced England to 8 for 5 in the first half-hour

11.45am GMT

Related: England lose fourth ODI to Australia after suffering startling battling collapse

10.25am GMT

That’s a timely win for Australia. The match was effectively decided in the first half-hour, when Pat Cummins and Josh Hazlewood bowled beautifully to reduce England to 8 for 5. England did well to turn a potential shambles into a respectable defeat, with Eoin Morgan captaining superbly, but they showed again that their batting can be damagingly naive when the ball moves around. It was a strange game, a kind of one-sided nail-biter.

The series score is now Australia 1-3 England, with the final match at the new Perth Stadium on Sunday. This is my last OBO of the tour; thanks ever so much for your company and emails throughout a long winter. Goodnight!

10.17am GMT

37th over: Australia 197-7 (Paine 25, Tye 3) Paine hurries Australia to the brink of victory, smacking Wood for consecutive fours, and Andrew Tye finishes it off by driving his first ball for three.

10.12am GMT

Australia are cutting this a bit fine. Cummins is run out after a hopeless mix-up with Paine, and England are into the tail with 13 runs still needed.

10.10am GMT

36th over: Australia 184-6 (Paine 16, Cummins 2) “I actually caught the morning crash of wickets and retired wondering what sort of awful records England might set for the lowest total ever in an ODI,” says Ian Copestake. “Quite impressed they got anywhere near 200.”

That was the gist of Eoin Morgan’s teamtalk at 8 for 5. “We probably can’t win this, lads, but if Ian Copestake is quite impressed by the end of the match, we’ll have had a good day.”

10.05am GMT

35th over: Australia 182-6 (Paine 15, Cummins 1) When the book of great captaincy performances in ODI defeats is written - and it will be, if it’s the last thing I do - Eoin Morgan will be in it for his work in this match. He hasn’t allowed the game to sleep at any stage.

10.01am GMT

Ach, that’s a shame. Travis Head misses out on a century, cuffing Wood straight to Morgan at mid-on. He swishes his bat in frustration as he walks off. When the regret settles he will reflect on a superb innings that has given fresh momentum to his ODI career.

9.57am GMT

34th over: Australia 180-5 (Head 96, Paine 14) There is the most stunning sunset over the Adelaide Oval. I say this from 10,029 miles away, but it sure looks beautiful on TV. Australia are cruising to victory now, with most eyes on whether Travis Head can get another Adelaide hundred on Australia Day. He is four away.

9.52am GMT

33rd over: Australia 177-5 (Head 94, Paine 13) Mark Wood is back for one last throw of the dice. I’m surprised Tom Curran has had only two overs, particularly as they were two good overs. Wood is worked sensibly for a single off each delivery - six from the over, which brings the target down to 20.

9.46am GMT

32nd over: Australia 171-5 (Head 91, Paine 10) Chris Woakes replaces Adil Rashid. In case you missed it, he continued his spectacular batting form earlier in the day with a belting 78. Head slaps another back cut for four to move into the nineties. Australia, like England, look spoilt for choice when it comes to ODI openers. I suppose Head could replace White at No3 when Finch is fit again.

9.41am GMT

31st over: Australia 165-5 (Head 86, Paine 9) A high full toss from Moeen is smacked for four by Head, who can only take a single off the resuling free hit. England, who have done really well to make a contest out of a farce, look for the first time like they have accepted defeat.

“Not impressed with this England performance, but pleased to see Travis Head finally show how good he can be,” says Richard O’Hagan. “I’d be quite happy for him to get a hundred here, especially if it is accompanied by a clatter of wickets at the other end.”

9.37am GMT

30th over: Australia 157-5 (Head 80, Paine 8) I think Buttler has just dropped Paine off the bowling of Rashid. England’s reaction suggested as much, though there was nothing on Snicko or Hotspot. We’ll never know. Rashid ends another excellent spell with figures of 10-0-49-3.

9.34am GMT

29th over: Australia 155-5 (Head 79, Paine 7) Moeen returns to the attack and is pumped over midwicket for four by the superb Head. It’s been a slightly sloppy batting performance from Australia, Head excepted, but they should be safe from embarrassment now. They need 42 from 21 overs.

9.30am GMT

28th over: Australia 146-5 (Head 74, Paine 3) Australia are taking no more risks against Rashid, who has been the main wicket-taking threat. His penultimate over is milked for three singles.

9.27am GMT

27th over: Australia 143-5 (Head 73, Paine 1) Wood continues, with England needing two wickets to get into the tail. Head flashes a short ball wide of the leaping Roy at backward point for four, a safe enough shot because of its sheer power. Australia need 54 from 23 overs.

9.22am GMT

26th over: Australia 137-5 (Head 68, Paine 0) This is not news but, jeez, Eoin Morgan is a wonderful captain.

9.20am GMT

Lovely work from Eoin Morgan and Adil Rashid. Stoinis, who swept the previous two deliveries for four, couldn’t resist the big stroke that Morgan was encouraging with his field placing. He tried to smack Rashid into the crowd and sliced the ball high to Roy in the covers. England have a chance of a spectacular victory.

9.17am GMT

25th over: Australia 128-4 (Head 67, Stoinis 6) Wood beats Stoinis with consecutive deliveries, the first a beauty of immaculate line and length.

9.13am GMT

24th over: Australia 123-4 (Head 64, Stoinis 5) England are challenging Stoinis to hit Rashid over the top, with a ring of fielders from short cover to midwicket. He resists the temptation in that over, which yields four for Australia. They need 73 from 26 overs.

9.11am GMT

23rd over: Australia 120-4 (Head 61, Stoinis 4) Mark Wood returns to the attack, a typically aggressive move from Eoin Morgan. One more wicket here would rip this match from its slumber. But the likeliest scenario remains another Adelaide Australia Day hundred for Travis Head, who moves into the sixties with a smooth pull through midwicket for four.

“With reference to comments on over 19: Such is the aggressive nature of the England batting line up that a performance like todays is always a possibility,” says Lee Smith. “If you are regularly scoring 300 or more then surely increase the probability of the occasional 170 all out?”

9.06am GMT

22nd over: Australia 116-4 (Head 57, Stoinis 4) Stoinis charges his first ball and drags it loosely over midwicket for four. That could easily have gone to hand. Rashid is such a valuable wicket-taker in the middle overs. His ODI strike rate of a wicket every 33.8 balls is the third best in England’s history behind Liam Plunkett and Andrew Flintoff.

9.03am GMT

Mitchell Marsh’s entertaining cameo of 32 from 30 balls comes to an end. He clunked a dipping full toss straight back at Rashid, who took a very smart catch.

9.01am GMT

21st over: Australia 106-3 (Head 55, Marsh 30) Joe Root’s first over goes for three. Both sides know this match is almost certainly over.

8.57am GMT

20th over: Australia 105-3 (Head 54, Marsh 28) Rashid, who has threatened to take a wicket in every over, almost skids a quicker delivery through the back-defensive stroke of Head. Australia need 92 from 180 balls.

“With my Purely Pragmatic Hat on; The series has been won, do you think that England might learn more lessons from a loss, than if the bowlers scrape a win?” says Matt Dony. “I didn’t see the England innings, and I don’t want to make assumptions, but it seems complacent for such a talented batting attack to misfire so badly. If the bowlers dig them out of a hole, there’s the chance that fewer lessons will be learnt, rather than if Australia punish them for it. Just my I’ll-informed, uneducated tuppence worth...”

8.54am GMT

19th over: Australia 101-3 (Head 50, Marsh 28) Moeen’s first ball after the drinks break is a piece of filth that Marsh pulls for four, and then Head clips a single to reach an excellent half-century from 55 balls. He clouted the new ball everywhere and is now happy to work singles in support of Marsh.

“Nice stat that about Rash dismissing Smith,” says Ian Truman. “Doesn’t that alone make the fact that Rashid seemingly has zero chance of playing Tests again seem a bit, well, odd? I know it’s a different game, but if you can cause good batsmen trouble like that then aren’t you a bit too good for the scrapheap?”

8.47am GMT

18th over: Australia 95-3 (Head 49, Marsh 23) Marsh, tired of not picking Rashid’s googly, gets down on one knee and carts a slog sweep into the crowd for six.

8.44am GMT

17th over: Australia 87-3 (Head 48, Marsh 16) Marsh creams Moeen through extra cover for four, a ferocious stroke that is followed by a lazy play-and-miss. His career in miniature, you might say, but there is a growing sense that he has gone to another level as a batsman in the last few months. He is certainly batting with greater authority.

8.41am GMT

16th over: Australia 81-3 (Head 48, Marsh 10) A poor ball from Rashid is cut easily for four by Marsh, who has started very assertively. But he doesn’t pick the googly, which almost slips through the gate as he lunges forward.

8.37am GMT

15th over: Australia 74-3 (Head 48, Marsh 3) Mitchell Marsh gets off the mark with a strong drive for two off Moeen. Another quick wicket might make Australia worry, especially as they have a longish tail.

8.34am GMT

14th over: Australia 70-3 (Head 47, Marsh 0) Nobody has dismissed Smith more often in ODIs than Rashid, who has done so five times.

8.32am GMT

Well bowled Adil Rashid! He gave Smith a bit of a working over - slider, googly, another googly - before dismissing him with an orthodox delivery that took the edge and flew towards slip, where Joe Root took an outrageous reaction catch by his right hip.

8.30am GMT

13th over: Australia 69-2 (Head 45, Smith 4) Head made his only ODI century on this ground, against Pakistan a year ago today. I’d be loath to bet against a repeat because he’s playing beautifully and is under almost no pressure.

8.26am GMT

12th over: Australia 67-2 (Head 44, Smith 3) Mr Adil Rashid replaces Tom Curran and almost slips a googly through Smith, who inside-edges an expansive cover drive into the leg side. A nice start from Rashid. .

8.23am GMT

11th over: Australia 63-2 (Head 42, Smith 2) “It’ll be a real shame if this is the last we see of The Cameron White Experiment,” says Guy Hornsby.”I loved their breezy second album. Though it wasn’t a patch on the new one from Chris Woakes’ Boundary Explosion. So leftfield and fresh.”

I haven’t seen such an exciting change of direction since Bono’s acid house album.

8.19am GMT

10th over: Australia 61-2 (Head 41, Smith 1) Tom Curran unveils a new variation, the grotesque accidental wide. He repeats it with the next delivery. Both were attempted slower balls that slipped out of the hand. Head scrunches the first legitimate delivery of the over down the ground for the eighth boundary of an eye-catching innings, and then batters another through extra cover.

8.13am GMT

9th over: Australia 51-2 (Head 33, Smith 1) Moeen Ali comes on for Chris Woakes, who can look vulnerable against spin. A quiet over; three from it.

8.10am GMT

8th over: Australia 48-2 (Head 31, Smith 0) The Cameron White experiment may not last much longer. His scores in this series are 15*, 17 and 3.

8.08am GMT

Tom Curran replaces Mark Wood, who struggled for rhythm in a short spell of 3-0-23-0. He is much more suited to white-ball cricket at this stage of his career - and he has struck with his fourth ball! White’s bat was stuck behind the pad and he had nowhere to go when the ball jagged back off the seam to hit him in front of off stump. That was plumb.

8.04am GMT

7th over: Australia 48-1 (Head 31, White 3) I’m sure there’s a neat Head start pun here somewhere but I’ve been up since 4am so it’s not happening. He has certainly got Australia off to a flyer: he pulls Woakes disdainfully through mid-on for four and cracks another boundary through extra cover. This is exhilarating stuff.

“What has happened to Warner?” says David Kalucy. “Is this a Michael Clarke mid-career crisis?”

8.01am GMT

6th over: Australia 37-1 (Head 23, White 0) Head hits Wood for three consecutive boundaries - a flash over point, an edge at catchable height through the vacant second-slip and a rubber-wristed flick-pull wide of midwicket.

7.56am GMT

5th over: Australia 25-1 (Head 11, White 0) Cameron White is the new batsman.

7.54am GMT

Warner has gone. That was a fine delivery from Woakes, just full of a good length and moving away a fraction to take the edge as Warner leaned into a push-drive. Jos Buttler did the rest.

7.50am GMT

4th over: Australia 21-0 (Warner 9, Head 11) Wood moves around the wicket to Head, who drags an attempted drive back onto the pads. The next ball is of a similar length and this time Head nails a pull through midwicket for four. That was a cracking shot.

7.46am GMT

3rd over: Australia 12-0 (Warner 6, Head 5) A half-volley from Woakes is blazed for four by Head. There’s nothing like the movement that Cummins and Hazlewood found at the start of the England innings, and nothing to suggest Australia won’t win this match at a canter.

7.42am GMT

2nd over: Australia 8-0 (Warner 6, Head 1) England are hunting wickets, which is the right thing to do. Mark Wood’s first ball jags back sharply to hit Travis Head on the pad, though it would easily have cleared the stumps. A trampolining bouncer is given as a wide, and the extra delivery allows Head to get off the mark with a quick single.

7.39am GMT

1st over: Australia 6-0 (Warner 6, Head 0) England might as well try to bowl Australia out, because they can’t win the game any other way. Chris Woakes starts the innings with an eventful over to David Warner, who is beaten, slams four through the covers and then bottom-edges just short of Jos Buttler.

7.32am GMT

“Australian sporting events have a tendency to start/continue late due to the requirements of the host broadcaster,” says Phil Withall. “Football matches regularly kick off 10 minutes late so some exceptional banter can reach its painfully unfunny conclusion. It really gets on my goat.”

It’s nearly an hour since England’s innings finished. If this goes on much longer I’ll have no choice but to create a hashtag.

7.22am GMT

Crikey, this is a long break between innings. Are they having an emergency screening of Das Boot or something?

7.22am GMT

On this day, 16 years ago, Shane Bond crashed the Australia Day party.

7.17am GMT

“Hi Rob,” says Andrew Gladwin. “Obviously England have improved immeasurably at one-day cricket, but I can’t see them as favourites for the next World Cup. They are a lot like my team South Africa, who will win most of their matches and bilateral series, but will have a really bad match at precisely the wrong time.The favourites will surely still be Australia and India on World Cup history and being able to handle pressure, and Pakistan, who won the last World Cup with a similar format (and of course the Champions Trophy).”

I know what you mean, though the format means they only need to win two knockout games to win a World Cup. I think they are the best team in the world at the moment but so much depends on the pitches for those knockout games. The pressure and expectation also worries me, especially after what happened in the Champions Trophy. Next time, there’ll be no next time.

7.13am GMT

England Win Prediction: 0.0001 per cent If you exclude rain-affected games with reduced targets, and why wouldn’t you, Australia have failed to chase a target below 200 only once in the last 16 years.

6.50am GMT

An email! And I didn’t have to make it up myself! “Love the new approach by England, but maybe, just maybe the top order could look to consolidate a bit when needed,” says AB Parker. “It’s like the team have gone to the other extreme, which is amazing to watch when they get it right. But when you lose three quick wickets, maybe you should look to make sure it’s not five quick wickets before you start attacking?”

I take your point, and that’s twice it’s happened in recent times: they were 20 for six against South Africa at Lord’s last May. Then again, they belted Australia out of the Champions Trophy with a storming counter-attack after losing three early wickets. I suppose they could be smarter when they are asked to bat first in helpful bowling conditions. The one best equipped to consolidate, Root, probably played the poorest shot. I wouldn’t blame Buttler, the fifth man out; he got a beauty. As in Test cricket, England are very one-dimensional. But what a dimension!

6.45am GMT

Cheers Will, hello there. Not much to say about that, so here’s the best song of 2017. (NB: contains a bit of the old language.)

6.42am GMT

Australia’s opening bowlers, Hazlewood and Cummins, were quite superb up top after Steve Smith opted to bowl, and they gutted England’s top order. Four ducks as they fell to 8 for 5. There were some poor shots, particularly from Root and Bairstow, but the bowling was brilliant.

Four blokes lower down carried England to a respectable – if not quite defendable – score. Morgan and Moeen got things going, then Woakes batted like a god for his 78 (which included five sixes) in conjunction with Tom Curran to get the tourists up to 196.

6.37am GMT

Six! Shot, Tom Curran! Tye digs it in, and he pulls, just over the fence. A couple of dots follow, before a beautiful cover-driven four!

But he’s gone now! A slower ball is turned straight to midwicket. England are all out for 196. That doesn’t look great, but the last five wickets have put on 188, so...

6.34am GMT

44th over: England 186-9 (Curran 25, Wood 2) More Zampa. Curran gets one with a neat drive to long-off. Wood’s first ball takes the outside edge but there’s no slip and they run one. Curran defends, and then they exchange singles again. Then the wrong’un totally flummoxes Curran! He gets a leading edge which just evades the bowler! They run one, and the over has cost five.

I mean, there’s a chance...

.@willis_macp Just checked the #winviz on the possibility of an English victory. Results are surprisingly optimistic. #AusvEng pic.twitter.com/RyKOwNn7wM

6.31am GMT

43rd over: England 181-9 (Curran 21, Wood 0) Two balls remain in Tye’s over. Curran, having crossed, on strike, and defends the first to midwicket. No run. He gets a single off the last, to third man.

This looks fanciful again.

@willis_macp when England were 8-5, I figured (fancifully) that if they doubled their score with each wicket (i.e. 8-5; 16-6; 32-7) they’d end on 256. Could happen?

6.29am GMT

AJ Tye, the death bowling specialist, is back. He has four more. He’s got Woakes! He’s tried to go down the ground, not got all of it and been caught by the sub Maxwell – who doesn’t missing many – diving forward at long-on. Woakes batted beautifully, and England have one wicket remaining.

6.25am GMT

42nd over: England 179-8 (Woakes 78, Curran 20) Woakes takes a single to long-off from Zampa’s first, then Curran reaches for a drive outside off, and gets one too. It’s looped outside off and that’s six more for Woakes! It’s slog-swept, and deep-midwicket has come off the fence - it’s gone straight over him for six. That’s 1,000 runs for Woakes in ODI cricket. It feels like he’s made that many this series. The over finishes with two dots.

6.23am GMT

41st over: England 171-8 (Woakes 71, Curran 19) Stoinis is staying in the attack. Woakes guides him to third man for one. Curran does the same. Woof! Woakes has just nailed another six! This might be the best of the lot! Not that short but picked up, and dunked into the stands in front of square. So much time. Woakes pinches the strike again with a mishit, which is well fielded at mid-off.

6.18am GMT

40th over: England 162-8 (Woakes 63, Curran 18) Zampa and his leggies are back. Curran and Woakes take a single each, before Zampa finds two dots. Curran drives to the cover sweeper for one, and the over ends with Woakes doing the same.

John Ryan is not happy:

Got up and England were 8 down, yet Australia look incapable of ever getting a wicket again. Is that the sleep in my eyes or is this why they’re 3-0 down in the series?

6.15am GMT

39th over: England 158-8 (Woakes 61, Curran 16) Stoinis, who is looking a bit uncomfortable, is having another. Curran turns him fine for one. Woakes turns two to fine leg then wallops his third six! It’s a slow ball, and it’s pulled beautifully. The over ends with two dots.

Hi Paul! Enjoy Bali. That sounds nice. Guy is English. Will take quite something for them to be on the right end of this result!

@willis_macp wondering is hornsby aussie or uk earlier comment , prediction,
Im in bali waiting for rain or courage to go to beautiful bias tugel beach
Paul moody

6.12am GMT

38th over: England 149-8 (Woakes 53, Curran 15) Hazlewood to bowl his last. Woakes gets one off the first ball, which is guided to third man, then Curran drives to mid-off’s right for one. That’s fifty for Woakes! After a couple of dots, he pulls Hazlewood for four in front of square, beating the man in the deep. That’s his fourth four, and he’s faced 62 balls. Two sixes, too. He drives two through the covers to leave Hazlewood with final figures of three for 39.

Woakes is the first ODI No8 to make successive fifties! He’s no ordinary ODI No8, to be fair.

6.06am GMT

37th over: England 141-8 (Woakes 46, Curran 14) Marcus Stoinis is on for the first time today! I like Stoinis, and I really like that his nickname is “Oil”. Curran gets one to third man, then Woakes does the same. They run three as Curran straight drives beautifully, then Woakes pinches the strike with a controlled pull.

I reckon Guy is onto something with his prediction here.

I'll be honest @willis_macp I think we might be in danger of losing this. Still, it's Friday, and in no way do I feel desolate being awake before 6am to find we were 8/5. It's like a comforting blanket, woven in the 90s.

6.02am GMT

36th over: England 135-8 (Woakes 44, Curran 10) So Hazlewood is back to bowl his final two. He has three for 24 and was superb up front. Woakes nudges him for one into the offside, and after a dot Curran takes one through cover too. Another single for Woakes, an attractive cut that point gets a hand on, follows. Curran is seeing them nicely now! Hazlewood drops short, and it sits up to be pulled. Curran obliges, and gets four for it. One to midwicket ends the over, a handy one for England.

5.58am GMT

35th over: England 127-8 (Woakes 42, Curran 4) Tye into his sixth, and one zips back at Curran, who misses it, but they run a bye because Paine can’t gather cleanly. Woakes has calmed down a bit and defends a couple, then gets a thick outside edge to third man to end the over.

5.54am GMT

34th over: England 125-8 (Woakes 41, Curran 4) Cummins to bowl his last. He has 4 for 23. These will definitely be his best ODI figures, but he’s yet to take a five bag. Curran defends a couple, then gets one with a big edged heave to third man. Woakes leaves two, then edges Cummins’ last ball just short of the lone slip. They are indeed Cummins’ best figures in ODIs: 4 for 24.

5.50am GMT

33rd over: England 124-8 (Woakes 41, Curran 3) Woakes nicks the first ball of Tye’s new over but it’s just out of Paine’s reach for the catch and they get one. Curran’s innings starts with an ugly bunt over cover for two, then a more convincing stroke for one. Woakes – who has a tricky role now – defends, then has a big yahoo at the last ball of the over, and misses.

5.45am GMT

32nd over: England 120-7 (Woakes 40) Interesting. Cummins is back, and he will have just one more after this one. And he has two slips for Rashid. Never mind. After leaving one, Rashid middles a cover drive for four. Gorgeous. The next one is less convincing, off the back foot for two through extra cover. One of those slips goes, and Rashid leaves. A short wide means another needs bowling, and Rashid leaves it again. He doesn’t leave the last ball of the over, though, and the little nibble is taken behind!

5.41am GMT

31st over: England 113-7 (Woakes 40, Rashid 1) That was a cracking catch from Head, and Moeen hit it so hard that they did not cross. Dilly Rashid is in now, and digs out his first ball. He turns his second to the vacant midwicket region for one, just as the commentators get in their obligatory mention of his 10 first-class centuries. Woakes tries to nurdle one to third man to pinch the strike, but misses.

5.37am GMT

Woakes moves to 40 with a little touch to leg off Tye, but Moeen is gone now! Tye goes round the wicket, Moeen pulls hard, but it’s straight to Travis Head on the fence at deep midwicket! He is falling backwards, but is aware, and tosses the ball up so he can take it again as he comes back in. Great work, all legit. That’s Tye’s first ODI wicket.

5.34am GMT

30th over: England 111-6 (Moeen 33, Woakes 39) Mitch Marsh is back, as Smith keeps two overs from each of Hazlewood and Cummins up his sleeve. Woakes defends, three times, before BELTING a six over the man on the midwicket fence! What a shot that is. Short square boundaries in Adelaide, aren’t there, and that only travelled 66m. There’s a single to leg, then Moeen leathers a pull along the ground for four. 11 from the over, and that’s the 50 stand.

5.30am GMT

29th over: England 100-6 (Moeen 29, Woakes 32) The spin experiment is over, and Andrew Tye is back. Woakes is defending carefully to start with as Tye varies his pace. Then there’s an uppish drive for two through the covers; did Head cut this off legally? I reckon so, and the umpires agree. Two not four. A cover-driven single ends the over and brings up England’s 100. That didn’t look very likely a couple of hours ago,

5.25am GMT

28th over: England 97-6 (Moeen 29, Woakes 29) Woakes is in sublime touch. He nails Hazlewood through the covers for a beautiful four. One follows, to square leg. He has 28 off 27. Moeen has 28 too, but rather more sedately. He defends two dots, then pulls one to fine leg to get ol’ Sobers back on strike. He plays a false shot into the legside off a slower ball, but they still get one.

Good news, Rob Smyth - who will succeed me when England finish batting - is up. He emails to say that at the start of that over, Chris Woakes was averaging 155 in his last 10 ODIs. It’ll be more now!

5.21am GMT

27th over: England 90-6 (Moeen 28, Woakes 23) That’s a class shot from Woakes. He lofts Zampa over extra cover for four. Very nice, between fielders. After a drive finds cover, there’s a horrible wide down the legside. Shot! That’s great again from Woakes. Zampa tosses it up, and he slog-sweeps for SIX! He takes two more through cover to make this England’s best over of the innings, and he ends it with a single to long-off. 14 from.

5.17am GMT

26th over: England 76-6 (Moeen 28, Woakes 10) Hazlewood returns with figures of three for 11. Cummins, who he is replacing, has bowled eight to Hazlewood’s six. Woakes defends twice. It’s almost worth just seeing off the six overs these two have left without taking risks. As I type, that Woakes absolutely nails four through extra cover with an uppish, risky drive. A soft-handed edge to third man brings one more, then Moeen defends. Five from it.

Here’s a statsgasm from AAP:

5.13am GMT

25th over: England 71-6 (Moeen 28, Woakes 5) Zampa’s latest over begins with a single for each batsman, then Woakes defends. Eurgh, that’s rank. He miscues a pull to mid-off, but luckily it goes along the floor. He ends the over nicely, with a delicate cut for one. That’s halfway.

5.10am GMT

24th over: England 68-6 (Moeen 27, Woakes 3) More Cummins. Moeen turns to leg for one. Woakes dangles his bat outside off when he’d be advised not to, but misses. He flashes and gets a thick outside edge to third man, then Moeen bottom edges a pull with control to square-leg, and gets another single. Hazlewood is warming up. Ominous. He has four overs remaining. Woakes gets another single to third man, then Mo defends the last.

5.06am GMT

23rd over: England 64-6 (Moeen 25, Woakes 1) Zampa to bowl his second, and Moeen takes one down the ground to give Woakes his first look at the leggie. He defends twice, then drives nicely to the man at deep cover to get off the mark. Moeen finds cover, then flicks to deep midwicket for one. Three from it.

5.03am GMT

22nd over: England 61-6 (Moeen 23, Woakes 0) Pat Cummins is a magnificent human, isn’t he? Woakes is in. He defends his first, leaves his second and leaves his third. The 22nd over is a handy moment for a wicket-maiden, you’d say.

5.00am GMT

Cummins to bowl his seventh. Morgan pulls out of his stance, just as Cummins lets go – some very annoying person was walking right behind the arm in a high vis jacket. Cummins, who played with Morgan at Sydney Thunder, takes it in reasonably good humour. When the ball is eventually bowled, Morgan defends it.

But two balls later he’s gone! He’s been caught behind as Cummins digs one in, he goes to pull and gloves it through to Paine! Wasn’t a great ball from Cummins, but he has his third, and England are right up against it again...

4.56am GMT

21st over: England 61-5 (Morgan 33, Moeen 23) One spinner comes on for another. Adam Zampa replaces Travis Head. Both of them play their Shield cricket here. There’s a fact for you. Zampa’s hair at the moment makes him look like he’s a high school geek in a bashful movie starring Michael Cera. Moeen and Morgan start with a single each. That’s the fifty partnership! My word it was needed! Another single to Morgan to short third man, then one to Moeen to midwicket. There’s another for Morgan then a dot to end the over. Five from it.

4.53am GMT

20th over: England 56-5 (Morgan 30, Moeen 21) Here goes, Pat Cummins is back. He has two wickets. Moeen gets himself off strike, then Morgan defends to the bowler and point. There’s no run until the last ball of the over, which he pulls to mid-on’s left for one.

Chris Bourne is feeling funky.

To frame this disaster with a little bit of optimism, and end it with a massive dose of the other: the lowest ever first innings total to win an ODI was 87 for 9, by Pakistan against India in 1989. England’s lowest winning total was 121 for 6 against India in 1985. But in more recent times you’d have to be scoring around 130-140 to stand a chance, and most likely, playing against a minnow. India and South Africa have managed it against a top tier team though, in 2013 and 2000 respectively. Unfortunately, England was the loser in both cases. In fact, of the top 20 lowest winning scores, England was beaten in five of them: more than any other country.

4.48am GMT

19th over: England 54-5 (Morgan 29, Moeen 20) Head into his second over, and the local commentators are furious about it. They are right that England would rather face him than the quicks. Each batsman takes the one on offer to long-off to bring up England’s 50. Morgan misses out on the sweep before leathering a drive over cover for four! That’s his first. Shot.

4.46am GMT

18th over: England 48-5 (Morgan 24, Moeen 19) More Marsh. He brings the false shot from Morgan, but it lands safe! That’s a horrid top edge pull to midwicket. There probably should be a catcher there. They run one, as they do when Moeen far more comfortably turns to fine leg. That’s a better pull from Morgan, just forced to mid-on’s left well enough to run two. Oh my word, Morgan’s done it again. He’s inside-edged over his leg stump. They run three as it’s hauled in by fine-leg. Good over from Marsh, but it’s cost seven.

4.42am GMT

17th over: England 41-5 (Morgan 18, Moeen 18) Spin! Tye’s over of 10 has cost him his place in the attack. Travis Head on, and Morgan takes one from his second ball. Moeen, who has those infamous troubles against offies, trades another single with Morgan and there’s three from Head’s first.

4.40am GMT

16th over: England 38-5 (Morgan 16, Moeen 17) They’ve had a little drink I reckon because that was a long break between overs. Marsh resumes, and Morgan pulls one to fine leg. Moeen eases a lovely pull through midwicket for two, then three dots end the over.

I’m considering eating a nice yoghurt I have in the fridge, now things have calmed down a touch. Almost 10 overs since the last wicket!

4.33am GMT

15th over: England 35-5 (Morgan 15, Moeen 15) More Tye. Moeen’s content defending a couple, then lashes one off the back foot through cover for four! Shot. So England’s first boundary arrives in the 15th over, and they are not words I expected to type this morning. He goes hard at the next too, but only gets one. Morgan takes a single to third man, then Moeen ends the over by giddily pulling another four! Goes without saying that with 10 from it, that was England’s most prolific over of the innings.

4.29am GMT

14th over: England 25-5 (Morgan 14, Moeen 6) Marsh continues, and Moeen begins by turning him to square-leg for one. There’s a sweeper on each side for Morgan, but who knows why. He mercifully gets off strike with a single into the covers. Moeen defends a couple, then has a huge drive outside off and misses. He makes contact with that drive next ball, but it goes straight to the man in the deep for one.

Good point!

Somebody wake up Smyth. pic.twitter.com/7JJvVCIjxO

4.25am GMT

13th over: England 22-5 (Morgan 13, Moeen 4) Double change. AJ Tye on for Hazlewood, who worked his way through six quite superb overs. Moeen starts by turning him off his pad for one to fine leg. Morgan is into the thirties in terms of balls faced, and doesn’t look fluent. Patience, man. After he drives a bit uppishly towards mid-off, second slip comes and goes to short cover. So Tye bowls a yorker that is going miles down leg, but they appeal for anyway. Why not, eh. Morgan cannot get Tye away and there’s just one from the over.

4.21am GMT

12th over: England 21-5 (Morgan 13, Moeen 3) The Aussies are changing the bowling! Cummins is coming off after five overs. Mitchell Marsh is on, which is a bit of a surprise. Morgan defends his first ball but is less respectful first up, trotting down and driving to mid-off. Later in the over there’s a big old waft outside off. Still, it’s a maiden. Decent start from Marsh.

A lot of the chat in the Australian corners of my twitter feed is about what movie Channel Nine will show when the ODI finishes early...

4.16am GMT

11th over: England 21-5 (Morgan 13, Moeen 3) It’s a no-brainer, but Smith is continuing with Hazlewood, and Morgan again chops passes his stumps for one. Moeen dots up then turns to midwicket for one. After two dots, Morgan turns to fine leg for one.

Stats like these pretty much go without saying given how England have been doing.

This is England's highest dot ball percentage (77.4%) in Powerplay 1 since the 2015 World Cup. It's also the only innings in that time that they've failed to hit a boundary in the first 10 overs #AusvEng

4.11am GMT

10th over: England 18-5 (Morgan 11, Moeen 2) Cummins kindly gifts England a run by starting his fifth over with a wide over Morgan’s head. The legal deliveries are consistently troublesome, however, and Morgan’s battling to get them away.

A belting powerplay for England, then. The last ball of it very nearly becomes the first boundary as Morgan drives a bit dodgily through mid-off, but Warner hauls it in on the fence. Still, three! That’s their highest scoring shot yet. Morgan dizzily moves into double figures.

@willis_macp Overs in hand, thats the important statistic.....

4.06am GMT

9th over: England 14-5 (Morgan 8, Moeen 2) The first ball of Hazlewood’s fifth – these two might as well carry on – thrashes into Morgan’s pad and they appeal. It doesn’t look right and umps agrees. Pitched outside leg. Morgan advances next ball and doesn’t get it right, with the ball deflecting to third slip on the bounce. He’s then beaten outside off, before nudging to leg for one. Moeen doesn’t score off the last couple and there’s just a single from it.

This innings will, of course, be an absolute statsgasm, whatever happens from here. But 8 is the third lowest score in ODIs ever for the fall of the fifth wicket. Good going.

4.01am GMT

8th over: England 13-5 (Morgan 7, Moeen 2) Morgan gets one nudged into the off-side off Cummins, then Mo leaves one. Lovely to see three slips in an ODI innings. Smith’s in there now! There’s a gully too, which means there are gaps elsewhere. Moeen realises that and hits and runs under his nose into the off-side. Then Morgan so nearly chops on. Goes to drive, it ain’t there and fizzes past his stumps. They run one. Moeen dips under a shorter one and leaves another.

A WICKETLESS OVER! A WICKETLESS OVER!

3.58am GMT

7th over: England 10-5 (Morgan 5, Moeen 1) Not much Buttler could have done about that, frankly. But there’s been a wicket in each of the last four overs, and four of England’s top six have made ducks today. Moeen is in a bit earlier than anticipated. His first ball is short, and beats him. He leaves his second, then nudges his third to leg for one. A run! And another as Morgan splices horribly through square-leg.

I just wonder. England say they live by the sword in this format. They’re dying by it, too. 35 is the lowest ever ODI score, and they are right in the mixer for that.

@willis_macp has the curfew been lifted?

3.53am GMT

Another! You can literally hear Michael Clarke shout “you beauty!” off mic this time. That’s a gorgeous delivery from Hazlewood to Buttler, and he’s gone. It’s just nipped away and he’s caught behind! England are five down!

3.51am GMT

6th over: England 8-4 (Morgan 4, Buttler 0) They crossed as Root played that horrible hoick and Cummins just eases down the ground for a couple. He doesn’t look to score off either of the last two balls.

Six for four is England’s worst ever four-down ODI score... It’s also just the fourth time both openers have made a duck in ODIs. Australia have started brilliantly in fine conditions for batting.

3.49am GMT

England are FOUR DOWN! Root has been very watchful but his first shot in anger makes him the third duckee in the top four! Cummins bangs it in, he tries to pull, top edges and only finds fine leg. Trouble...

3.45am GMT

5th over: England 6-3 (Root 0, Morgan 2) A leftie in for England then. Couple of defended dots get Morgan, the skipper, settled, before he eases a lovely little drive to mid-off’s right for a couple. He leaves the last.

Brian Withington is awake and not happy: “Strewth!” he gasps. “4-3 would not even be a particularly good score for England V Australia at football, never mind cricket.”

3.42am GMT

What a start for Australia! Hazlewood’s got Bairstow for none! He goes to launch into a drive and is caught behind. Hazlewood’s length has been immaculate...

3.40am GMT

4th over: England 4-2 (Bairstow 0, Root 0) Couple of solid defensive strokes gets Joe Root going. Suspect England are glad to have him a place lower at No4 today. It’s a wicket maiden as he defends the next two!

16 balls for Cummins to Hales, then. Four dismissals. Good going.

3.37am GMT

Cummins has got Cummins again! After a dot, he’s jagged one back and it’s bowled him off the front pad! That’s four times in the series...

3.35am GMT

3rd over: England 4-1 (Bairstow 0, Hales 3) Nice enough drive from Hales off Hazlewood, but straight to cover. The next, from a bit shorter, is guided just past point for one. Bairstow plays out four dots. He’s in no rush. Interesting, Australia have two slips, and neither is Steve Smith. Cam White and the Bison, Mitch Marsh, are in there.

3.31am GMT

2nd over: England 3-1 (Bairstow 0, Hales 2) Pat Cummins from t’other end. He’s got Hales out three times for 11 runs, and it’s Hales on strikes now. Leaves, defends, then takes one to midwicket to give Jonny Bairstow a look. His first ball hits his thigh, and his second is defended firmly to midwicket. Just one from the over as he blocks the last to cover.

3.27am GMT

1st over: England 2-1 (Bairstow 0, Hales 1) Hales decides to, you know, have a look at a ball, and leaves his first outside off. He defends the next couple, which are a bit straighter. Then there’s a wide, which Hales tries to wildly cut. Leave them alone, son! He takes a single to extra cover off the extra ball.

The one to get Roy was a decent catch from Smith. Loose shot but, let’s be honest, most of Jason Roy’s shots are a bit loose.

@willis_macp Who was the old bloke that lined up with the Australian team, between Smith and Warner, for the anthems?

3.23am GMT

What a start! The Aussies appeal off the first ball as Roy ambles down and plays across his front pad to one going high down leg. And he’s nailed a drive to point second ball! Smith takes the catch and he’s gone for nothing...

3.20am GMT

Right, time to get going... Jason Roy and Jonny Bairstow on the way out for England, with Josh Hazlewood (Starc is rested) to get the Aussies started.

3.18am GMT

Adelaide Oval is a magnificent ground but the crowd, at least at this stage, does not look magnificent. As the anthems are wheeled away by a band with some fancy looking electric string instruments, there’s barely anyone listening.

3.15am GMT

Test Match Special are celebrating Australia Day by wearing shirts in honour of the least Australian man I know, Dan Norcross. He’s convinced that it always rains there. It did rain during every single Ashes Test!

As well as it being Australia Day, in the TMS box it’s ‘Dress like @norcrosscricket Day’!#AUSvENG#bbccricket pic.twitter.com/Vjh831yoRy

3.12am GMT

Morning Stuie! Seems likely...

@willis_macp morning will

Hope ur well, 4-0 i hope!

3.10am GMT

You can contact me! Do that in these two ways:

3.08am GMT

Up goes the coin and it comes down in Steve Smith’s favour! He chooses to bowl first! Eoin Morgan says he would have done the same because it’s a, and I quote, “really well put together wicket”. He probably doesn’t really care.

Smith says Aaron Finch is out of the best next two games but will be back for the T20s next month. Travis Head will open with Dave Warner, and Mitchell Starc is rested. AJ Tye gets a run in his place.

1.01am GMT

Hello! Greetings one and all, wherever you are in the world. It’s Australia Day and cricket in Adelaide on Australia Day is a thing – and so here we are! Australia against whitewash-hunting England, which really doesn’t sound right.

Australia have lost 10 of their last 11, appear to have no idea what their best XI is, and no obvious gameplan. They score too slowly, but have called up Glenn Maxwell for the injured Aaron Finch (by far their best batsman so far this series). The mail is that Maxwell won’t play and that Travis Head will open the batting on his home ground – he went bananas there on Australia Day last year.

Continue reading...

Australia v England: fourth one-day international – live!

Updates from the penultimate match of the series in AdelaideAustralia chasing 197 to win after new-ball blitzEngland collapse to 8-5 before Woakes smashes 78Feel free to get in touch by emailing rob.smyth@theguardian.com

9.22am GMT

26th over: Australia 137-5 (Head 68, Paine 0) This is not news but, jeez, Eoin Morgan is a wonderful captain.

9.20am GMT

Lovely work from Eoin Morgan and Adil Rashid. Stoinis, who swept the previous two deliveries for four, couldn’t resist the big stroke that Morgan was encouraging with his field placing. He tried to smack Rashid into the crowd and sliced the ball high to Roy in the covers. England have a chance of a spectacular victory.

9.17am GMT

25th over: Australia 128-4 (Head 67, Stoinis 6) Wood beats Stoinis with consecutive deliveries, the first a beauty of immaculate line and length.

9.13am GMT

24th over: Australia 123-4 (Head 64, Stoinis 5) England are challenging Stoinis to hit Rashid over the top, with a ring of fielders from short cover to midwicket. He resists the temptation in that over, which yields four for Australia. They need 73 from 26 overs.

9.11am GMT

23rd over: Australia 120-4 (Head 61, Stoinis 4) Mark Wood returns to the attack, a typically aggressive move from Eoin Morgan. One more wicket here would rip this match from its slumber. But the likeliest scenario remains another Adelaide Australia Day hundred for Travis Head, who moves into the sixties with a smooth pull through midwicket for four.

“With reference to comments on over 19: Such is the aggressive nature of the England batting line up that a performance like todays is always a possibility,” says Lee Smith. “If you are regularly scoring 300 or more then surely increase the probability of the occasional 170 all out?”

9.06am GMT

22nd over: Australia 116-4 (Head 57, Stoinis 4) Stoinis charges his first ball and drags it loosely over midwicket for four. That could easily have gone to hand. Rashid is such a valuable wicket-taker in the middle overs. His ODI strike rate of a wicket every 33.8 balls is the third best in England’s history behind Liam Plunkett and Andrew Flintoff.

9.03am GMT

Mitchell Marsh’s entertaining cameo of 32 from 30 balls comes to an end. He clunked a dipping full toss straight back at Rashid, who took a very smart catch.

9.01am GMT

21st over: Australia 106-3 (Head 55, Marsh 30) Joe Root’s first over goes for three. Both sides know this match is almost certainly over.

8.57am GMT

20th over: Australia 105-3 (Head 54, Marsh 28) Rashid, who has threatened to take a wicket in every over, almost skids a quicker delivery through the back-defensive stroke of Head. Australia need 92 from 180 balls.

“With my Purely Pragmatic Hat on; The series has been won, do you think that England might learn more lessons from a loss, than if the bowlers scrape a win?” says Matt Dony. “I didn’t see the England innings, and I don’t want to make assumptions, but it seems complacent for such a talented batting attack to misfire so badly. If the bowlers dig them out of a hole, there’s the chance that fewer lessons will be learnt, rather than if Australia punish them for it. Just my I’ll-informed, uneducated tuppence worth...”

8.54am GMT

19th over: Australia 101-3 (Head 50, Marsh 28) Moeen’s first ball after the drinks break is a piece of filth that Marsh pulls for four, and then Head clips a single to reach an excellent half-century from 55 balls. He clouted the new ball everywhere and is now happy to work singles in support of Marsh.

“Nice stat that about Rash dismissing Smith,” says Ian Truman. “Doesn’t that alone make the fact that Rashid seemingly has zero chance of playing Tests again seem a bit, well, odd? I know it’s a different game, but if you can cause good batsmen trouble like that then aren’t you a bit too good for the scrapheap?”

8.47am GMT

18th over: Australia 95-3 (Head 49, Marsh 23) Marsh, tired of not picking Rashid’s googly, gets down on one knee and carts a slog sweep into the crowd for six.

8.44am GMT

17th over: Australia 87-3 (Head 48, Marsh 16) Marsh creams Moeen through extra cover for four, a ferocious stroke that is followed by a lazy play-and-miss. His career in miniature, you might say, but there is a growing sense that he has gone to another level as a batsman in the last few months. He is certainly batting with greater authority.

8.41am GMT

16th over: Australia 81-3 (Head 48, Marsh 10) A poor ball from Rashid is cut easily for four by Marsh, who has started very assertively. But he doesn’t pick the googly, which almost slips through the gate as he lunges forward.

8.37am GMT

15th over: Australia 74-3 (Head 48, Marsh 3) Mitchell Marsh gets off the mark with a strong drive for two off Moeen. Another quick wicket might make Australia worry, especially as they have a longish tail.

8.34am GMT

14th over: Australia 70-3 (Head 47, Marsh 0) Nobody has dismissed Smith more often in ODIs than Rashid, who has done so five times.

8.32am GMT

Well bowled Adil Rashid! He gave Smith a bit of a working over - slider, googly, another googly - before dismissing him with an orthodox delivery that took the edge and flew towards slip, where Joe Root took an outrageous reaction catch by his right hip.

8.30am GMT

13th over: Australia 69-2 (Head 45, Smith 4) Head made his only ODI century on this ground, against Pakistan a year ago today. I’d be loath to bet against a repeat because he’s playing beautifully and is under almost no pressure.

8.26am GMT

12th over: Australia 67-2 (Head 44, Smith 3) Mr Adil Rashid replaces Tom Curran and almost slips a googly through Smith, who inside-edges an expansive cover drive into the leg side. A nice start from Rashid. .

8.23am GMT

11th over: Australia 63-2 (Head 42, Smith 2) “It’ll be a real shame if this is the last we see of The Cameron White Experiment,” says Guy Hornsby.”I loved their breezy second album. Though it wasn’t a patch on the new one from Chris Woakes’ Boundary Explosion. So leftfield and fresh.”

I haven’t seen such an exciting change of direction since Bono’s acid house album.

8.19am GMT

10th over: Australia 61-2 (Head 41, Smith 1) Tom Curran unveils a new variation, the grotesque accidental wide. He repeats it with the next delivery. Both were attempted slower balls that slipped out of the hand. Head scrunches the first legitimate delivery of the over down the ground for the eighth boundary of an eye-catching innings, and then batters another through extra cover.

8.13am GMT

9th over: Australia 51-2 (Head 33, Smith 1) Moeen Ali comes on for Chris Woakes, who can look vulnerable against spin. A quiet over; three from it.

8.10am GMT

8th over: Australia 48-2 (Head 31, Smith 0) The Cameron White experiment may not last much longer. His scores in this series are 15*, 17 and 3.

8.08am GMT

Tom Curran replaces Mark Wood, who struggled for rhythm in a short spell of 3-0-23-0. He is much more suited to white-ball cricket at this stage of his career - and he has struck with his fourth ball! White’s bat was stuck behind the pad and he had nowhere to go when the ball jagged back off the seam to hit him in front of off stump. That was plumb.

8.04am GMT

7th over: Australia 48-1 (Head 31, White 3) I’m sure there’s a neat Head start pun here somewhere but I’ve been up since 4am so it’s not happening. He has certainly got Australia off to a flyer: he pulls Woakes disdainfully through mid-on for four and cracks another boundary through extra cover. This is exhilarating stuff.

“What has happened to Warner?” says David Kalucy. “Is this a Michael Clarke mid-career crisis?”

8.01am GMT

6th over: Australia 37-1 (Head 23, White 0) Head hits Wood for three consecutive boundaries - a flash over point, an edge at catchable height through the vacant second-slip and a rubber-wristed flick-pull wide of midwicket.

7.56am GMT

5th over: Australia 25-1 (Head 11, White 0) Cameron White is the new batsman.

7.54am GMT

Warner has gone. That was a fine delivery from Woakes, just full of a good length and moving away a fraction to take the edge as Warner leaned into a push-drive. Jos Buttler did the rest.

7.50am GMT

4th over: Australia 21-0 (Warner 9, Head 11) Wood moves around the wicket to Head, who drags an attempted drive back onto the pads. The next ball is of a similar length and this time Head nails a pull through midwicket for four. That was a cracking shot.

7.46am GMT

3rd over: Australia 12-0 (Warner 6, Head 5) A half-volley from Woakes is blazed for four by Head. There’s nothing like the movement that Cummins and Hazlewood found at the start of the England innings, and nothing to suggest Australia won’t win this match at a canter.

7.42am GMT

2nd over: Australia 8-0 (Warner 6, Head 1) England are hunting wickets, which is the right thing to do. Mark Wood’s first ball jags back sharply to hit Travis Head on the pad, though it would easily have cleared the stumps. A trampolining bouncer is given as a wide, and the extra delivery allows Head to get off the mark with a quick single.

7.39am GMT

1st over: Australia 6-0 (Warner 6, Head 0) England might as well try to bowl Australia out, because they can’t win the game any other way. Chris Woakes starts the innings with an eventful over to David Warner, who is beaten, slams four through the covers and then bottom-edges just short of Jos Buttler.

7.32am GMT

“Australian sporting events have a tendency to start/continue late due to the requirements of the host broadcaster,” says Phil Withall. “Football matches regularly kick off 10 minutes late so some exceptional banter can reach its painfully unfunny conclusion. It really gets on my goat.”

It’s nearly an hour since England’s innings finished. If this goes on much longer I’ll have no choice but to create a hashtag.

7.22am GMT

Crikey, this is a long break between innings. Are they having an emergency screening of Das Boot or something?

7.22am GMT

On this day, 16 years ago, Shane Bond crashed the Australia Day party.

7.17am GMT

“Hi Rob,” says Andrew Gladwin. “Obviously England have improved immeasurably at one-day cricket, but I can’t see them as favourites for the next World Cup. They are a lot like my team South Africa, who will win most of their matches and bilateral series, but will have a really bad match at precisely the wrong time.The favourites will surely still be Australia and India on World Cup history and being able to handle pressure, and Pakistan, who won the last World Cup with a similar format (and of course the Champions Trophy).”

I know what you mean, though the format means they only need to win two knockout games to win a World Cup. I think they are the best team in the world at the moment but so much depends on the pitches for those knockout games. The pressure and expectation also worries me, especially after what happened in the Champions Trophy. Next time, there’ll be no next time.

7.13am GMT

England Win Prediction: 0.0001 per cent If you exclude rain-affected games with reduced targets, and why wouldn’t you, Australia have failed to chase a target below 200 only once in the last 16 years.

6.50am GMT

An email! And I didn’t have to make it up myself! “Love the new approach by England, but maybe, just maybe the top order could look to consolidate a bit when needed,” says AB Parker. “It’s like the team have gone to the other extreme, which is amazing to watch when they get it right. But when you lose three quick wickets, maybe you should look to make sure it’s not five quick wickets before you start attacking?”

I take your point, and that’s twice it’s happened in recent times: they were 20 for six against South Africa at Lord’s last May. Then again, they belted Australia out of the Champions Trophy with a storming counter-attack after losing three early wickets. I suppose they could be smarter when they are asked to bat first in helpful bowling conditions. The one best equipped to consolidate, Root, probably played the poorest shot. I wouldn’t blame Buttler, the fifth man out; he got a beauty. As in Test cricket, England are very one-dimensional. But what a dimension!

6.45am GMT

Cheers Will, hello there. Not much to say about that, so here’s the best song of 2017. (NB: contains a bit of the old language.)

6.42am GMT

Australia’s opening bowlers, Hazlewood and Cummins, were quite superb up top after Steve Smith opted to bowl, and they gutted England’s top order. Four ducks as they fell to 8 for 5. There were some poor shots, particularly from Root and Bairstow, but the bowling was brilliant.

Four blokes lower down carried England to a respectable – if not quite defendable – score. Morgan and Moeen got things going, then Woakes batted like a god for his 78 (which included five sixes) in conjunction with Tom Curran to get the tourists up to 196.

6.37am GMT

Six! Shot, Tom Curran! Tye digs it in, and he pulls, just over the fence. A couple of dots follow, before a beautiful cover-driven four!

But he’s gone now! A slower ball is turned straight to midwicket. England are all out for 196. That doesn’t look great, but the last five wickets have put on 188, so...

6.34am GMT

44th over: England 186-9 (Curran 25, Wood 2) More Zampa. Curran gets one with a neat drive to long-off. Wood’s first ball takes the outside edge but there’s no slip and they run one. Curran defends, and then they exchange singles again. Then the wrong’un totally flummoxes Curran! He gets a leading edge which just evades the bowler! They run one, and the over has cost five.

I mean, there’s a chance...

.@willis_macp Just checked the #winviz on the possibility of an English victory. Results are surprisingly optimistic. #AusvEng pic.twitter.com/RyKOwNn7wM

6.31am GMT

43rd over: England 181-9 (Curran 21, Wood 0) Two balls remain in Tye’s over. Curran, having crossed, on strike, and defends the first to midwicket. No run. He gets a single off the last, to third man.

This looks fanciful again.

@willis_macp when England were 8-5, I figured (fancifully) that if they doubled their score with each wicket (i.e. 8-5; 16-6; 32-7) they’d end on 256. Could happen?

6.29am GMT

AJ Tye, the death bowling specialist, is back. He has four more. He’s got Woakes! He’s tried to go down the ground, not got all of it and been caught by the sub Maxwell – who doesn’t missing many – diving forward at long-on. Woakes batted beautifully, and England have one wicket remaining.

6.25am GMT

42nd over: England 179-8 (Woakes 78, Curran 20) Woakes takes a single to long-off from Zampa’s first, then Curran reaches for a drive outside off, and gets one too. It’s looped outside off and that’s six more for Woakes! It’s slog-swept, and deep-midwicket has come off the fence - it’s gone straight over him for six. That’s 1,000 runs for Woakes in ODI cricket. It feels like he’s made that many this series. The over finishes with two dots.

6.23am GMT

41st over: England 171-8 (Woakes 71, Curran 19) Stoinis is staying in the attack. Woakes guides him to third man for one. Curran does the same. Woof! Woakes has just nailed another six! This might be the best of the lot! Not that short but picked up, and dunked into the stands in front of square. So much time. Woakes pinches the strike again with a mishit, which is well fielded at mid-off.

6.18am GMT

40th over: England 162-8 (Woakes 63, Curran 18) Zampa and his leggies are back. Curran and Woakes take a single each, before Zampa finds two dots. Curran drives to the cover sweeper for one, and the over ends with Woakes doing the same.

John Ryan is not happy:

Got up and England were 8 down, yet Australia look incapable of ever getting a wicket again. Is that the sleep in my eyes or is this why they’re 3-0 down in the series?

6.15am GMT

39th over: England 158-8 (Woakes 61, Curran 16) Stoinis, who is looking a bit uncomfortable, is having another. Curran turns him fine for one. Woakes turns two to fine leg then wallops his third six! It’s a slow ball, and it’s pulled beautifully. The over ends with two dots.

Hi Paul! Enjoy Bali. That sounds nice. Guy is English. Will take quite something for them to be on the right end of this result!

@willis_macp wondering is hornsby aussie or uk earlier comment , prediction,
Im in bali waiting for rain or courage to go to beautiful bias tugel beach
Paul moody

6.12am GMT

38th over: England 149-8 (Woakes 53, Curran 15) Hazlewood to bowl his last. Woakes gets one off the first ball, which is guided to third man, then Curran drives to mid-off’s right for one. That’s fifty for Woakes! After a couple of dots, he pulls Hazlewood for four in front of square, beating the man in the deep. That’s his fourth four, and he’s faced 62 balls. Two sixes, too. He drives two through the covers to leave Hazlewood with final figures of three for 39.

Woakes is the first ODI No8 to make successive fifties! He’s no ordinary ODI No8, to be fair.

6.06am GMT

37th over: England 141-8 (Woakes 46, Curran 14) Marcus Stoinis is on for the first time today! I like Stoinis, and I really like that his nickname is “Oil”. Curran gets one to third man, then Woakes does the same. They run three as Curran straight drives beautifully, then Woakes pinches the strike with a controlled pull.

I reckon Guy is onto something with his prediction here.

I'll be honest @willis_macp I think we might be in danger of losing this. Still, it's Friday, and in no way do I feel desolate being awake before 6am to find we were 8/5. It's like a comforting blanket, woven in the 90s.

6.02am GMT

36th over: England 135-8 (Woakes 44, Curran 10) So Hazlewood is back to bowl his final two. He has three for 24 and was superb up front. Woakes nudges him for one into the offside, and after a dot Curran takes one through cover too. Another single for Woakes, an attractive cut that point gets a hand on, follows. Curran is seeing them nicely now! Hazlewood drops short, and it sits up to be pulled. Curran obliges, and gets four for it. One to midwicket ends the over, a handy one for England.

5.58am GMT

35th over: England 127-8 (Woakes 42, Curran 4) Tye into his sixth, and one zips back at Curran, who misses it, but they run a bye because Paine can’t gather cleanly. Woakes has calmed down a bit and defends a couple, then gets a thick outside edge to third man to end the over.

5.54am GMT

34th over: England 125-8 (Woakes 41, Curran 4) Cummins to bowl his last. He has 4 for 23. These will definitely be his best ODI figures, but he’s yet to take a five bag. Curran defends a couple, then gets one with a big edged heave to third man. Woakes leaves two, then edges Cummins’ last ball just short of the lone slip. They are indeed Cummins’ best figures in ODIs: 4 for 24.

5.50am GMT

33rd over: England 124-8 (Woakes 41, Curran 3) Woakes nicks the first ball of Tye’s new over but it’s just out of Paine’s reach for the catch and they get one. Curran’s innings starts with an ugly bunt over cover for two, then a more convincing stroke for one. Woakes – who has a tricky role now – defends, then has a big yahoo at the last ball of the over, and misses.

5.45am GMT

32nd over: England 120-7 (Woakes 40) Interesting. Cummins is back, and he will have just one more after this one. And he has two slips for Rashid. Never mind. After leaving one, Rashid middles a cover drive for four. Gorgeous. The next one is less convincing, off the back foot for two through extra cover. One of those slips goes, and Rashid leaves. A short wide means another needs bowling, and Rashid leaves it again. He doesn’t leave the last ball of the over, though, and the little nibble is taken behind!

5.41am GMT

31st over: England 113-7 (Woakes 40, Rashid 1) That was a cracking catch from Head, and Moeen hit it so hard that they did not cross. Dilly Rashid is in now, and digs out his first ball. He turns his second to the vacant midwicket region for one, just as the commentators get in their obligatory mention of his 10 first-class centuries. Woakes tries to nurdle one to third man to pinch the strike, but misses.

5.37am GMT

Woakes moves to 40 with a little touch to leg off Tye, but Moeen is gone now! Tye goes round the wicket, Moeen pulls hard, but it’s straight to Travis Head on the fence at deep midwicket! He is falling backwards, but is aware, and tosses the ball up so he can take it again as he comes back in. Great work, all legit. That’s Tye’s first ODI wicket.

5.34am GMT

30th over: England 111-6 (Moeen 33, Woakes 39) Mitch Marsh is back, as Smith keeps two overs from each of Hazlewood and Cummins up his sleeve. Woakes defends, three times, before BELTING a six over the man on the midwicket fence! What a shot that is. Short square boundaries in Adelaide, aren’t there, and that only travelled 66m. There’s a single to leg, then Moeen leathers a pull along the ground for four. 11 from the over, and that’s the 50 stand.

5.30am GMT

29th over: England 100-6 (Moeen 29, Woakes 32) The spin experiment is over, and Andrew Tye is back. Woakes is defending carefully to start with as Tye varies his pace. Then there’s an uppish drive for two through the covers; did Head cut this off legally? I reckon so, and the umpires agree. Two not four. A cover-driven single ends the over and brings up England’s 100. That didn’t look very likely a couple of hours ago,

5.25am GMT

28th over: England 97-6 (Moeen 29, Woakes 29) Woakes is in sublime touch. He nails Hazlewood through the covers for a beautiful four. One follows, to square leg. He has 28 off 27. Moeen has 28 too, but rather more sedately. He defends two dots, then pulls one to fine leg to get ol’ Sobers back on strike. He plays a false shot into the legside off a slower ball, but they still get one.

Good news, Rob Smyth - who will succeed me when England finish batting - is up. He emails to say that at the start of that over, Chris Woakes was averaging 155 in his last 10 ODIs. It’ll be more now!

5.21am GMT

27th over: England 90-6 (Moeen 28, Woakes 23) That’s a class shot from Woakes. He lofts Zampa over extra cover for four. Very nice, between fielders. After a drive finds cover, there’s a horrible wide down the legside. Shot! That’s great again from Woakes. Zampa tosses it up, and he slog-sweeps for SIX! He takes two more through cover to make this England’s best over of the innings, and he ends it with a single to long-off. 14 from.

5.17am GMT

26th over: England 76-6 (Moeen 28, Woakes 10) Hazlewood returns with figures of three for 11. Cummins, who he is replacing, has bowled eight to Hazlewood’s six. Woakes defends twice. It’s almost worth just seeing off the six overs these two have left without taking risks. As I type, that Woakes absolutely nails four through extra cover with an uppish, risky drive. A soft-handed edge to third man brings one more, then Moeen defends. Five from it.

Here’s a statsgasm from AAP:

5.13am GMT

25th over: England 71-6 (Moeen 28, Woakes 5) Zampa’s latest over begins with a single for each batsman, then Woakes defends. Eurgh, that’s rank. He miscues a pull to mid-off, but luckily it goes along the floor. He ends the over nicely, with a delicate cut for one. That’s halfway.

5.10am GMT

24th over: England 68-6 (Moeen 27, Woakes 3) More Cummins. Moeen turns to leg for one. Woakes dangles his bat outside off when he’d be advised not to, but misses. He flashes and gets a thick outside edge to third man, then Moeen bottom edges a pull with control to square-leg, and gets another single. Hazlewood is warming up. Ominous. He has four overs remaining. Woakes gets another single to third man, then Mo defends the last.

5.06am GMT

23rd over: England 64-6 (Moeen 25, Woakes 1) Zampa to bowl his second, and Moeen takes one down the ground to give Woakes his first look at the leggie. He defends twice, then drives nicely to the man at deep cover to get off the mark. Moeen finds cover, then flicks to deep midwicket for one. Three from it.

5.03am GMT

22nd over: England 61-6 (Moeen 23, Woakes 0) Pat Cummins is a magnificent human, isn’t he? Woakes is in. He defends his first, leaves his second and leaves his third. The 22nd over is a handy moment for a wicket-maiden, you’d say.

5.00am GMT

Cummins to bowl his seventh. Morgan pulls out of his stance, just as Cummins lets go – some very annoying person was walking right behind the arm in a high vis jacket. Cummins, who played with Morgan at Sydney Thunder, takes it in reasonably good humour. When the ball is eventually bowled, Morgan defends it.

But two balls later he’s gone! He’s been caught behind as Cummins digs one in, he goes to pull and gloves it through to Paine! Wasn’t a great ball from Cummins, but he has his third, and England are right up against it again...

4.56am GMT

21st over: England 61-5 (Morgan 33, Moeen 23) One spinner comes on for another. Adam Zampa replaces Travis Head. Both of them play their Shield cricket here. There’s a fact for you. Zampa’s hair at the moment makes him look like he’s a high school geek in a bashful movie starring Michael Cera. Moeen and Morgan start with a single each. That’s the fifty partnership! My word it was needed! Another single to Morgan to short third man, then one to Moeen to midwicket. There’s another for Morgan then a dot to end the over. Five from it.

4.53am GMT

20th over: England 56-5 (Morgan 30, Moeen 21) Here goes, Pat Cummins is back. He has two wickets. Moeen gets himself off strike, then Morgan defends to the bowler and point. There’s no run until the last ball of the over, which he pulls to mid-on’s left for one.

Chris Bourne is feeling funky.

To frame this disaster with a little bit of optimism, and end it with a massive dose of the other: the lowest ever first innings total to win an ODI was 87 for 9, by Pakistan against India in 1989. England’s lowest winning total was 121 for 6 against India in 1985. But in more recent times you’d have to be scoring around 130-140 to stand a chance, and most likely, playing against a minnow. India and South Africa have managed it against a top tier team though, in 2013 and 2000 respectively. Unfortunately, England was the loser in both cases. In fact, of the top 20 lowest winning scores, England was beaten in five of them: more than any other country.

4.48am GMT

19th over: England 54-5 (Morgan 29, Moeen 20) Head into his second over, and the local commentators are furious about it. They are right that England would rather face him than the quicks. Each batsman takes the one on offer to long-off to bring up England’s 50. Morgan misses out on the sweep before leathering a drive over cover for four! That’s his first. Shot.

4.46am GMT

18th over: England 48-5 (Morgan 24, Moeen 19) More Marsh. He brings the false shot from Morgan, but it lands safe! That’s a horrid top edge pull to midwicket. There probably should be a catcher there. They run one, as they do when Moeen far more comfortably turns to fine leg. That’s a better pull from Morgan, just forced to mid-on’s left well enough to run two. Oh my word, Morgan’s done it again. He’s inside-edged over his leg stump. They run three as it’s hauled in by fine-leg. Good over from Marsh, but it’s cost seven.

4.42am GMT

17th over: England 41-5 (Morgan 18, Moeen 18) Spin! Tye’s over of 10 has cost him his place in the attack. Travis Head on, and Morgan takes one from his second ball. Moeen, who has those infamous troubles against offies, trades another single with Morgan and there’s three from Head’s first.

4.40am GMT

16th over: England 38-5 (Morgan 16, Moeen 17) They’ve had a little drink I reckon because that was a long break between overs. Marsh resumes, and Morgan pulls one to fine leg. Moeen eases a lovely pull through midwicket for two, then three dots end the over.

I’m considering eating a nice yoghurt I have in the fridge, now things have calmed down a touch. Almost 10 overs since the last wicket!

4.33am GMT

15th over: England 35-5 (Morgan 15, Moeen 15) More Tye. Moeen’s content defending a couple, then lashes one off the back foot through cover for four! Shot. So England’s first boundary arrives in the 15th over, and they are not words I expected to type this morning. He goes hard at the next too, but only gets one. Morgan takes a single to third man, then Moeen ends the over by giddily pulling another four! Goes without saying that with 10 from it, that was England’s most prolific over of the innings.

4.29am GMT

14th over: England 25-5 (Morgan 14, Moeen 6) Marsh continues, and Moeen begins by turning him to square-leg for one. There’s a sweeper on each side for Morgan, but who knows why. He mercifully gets off strike with a single into the covers. Moeen defends a couple, then has a huge drive outside off and misses. He makes contact with that drive next ball, but it goes straight to the man in the deep for one.

Good point!

Somebody wake up Smyth. pic.twitter.com/7JJvVCIjxO

4.25am GMT

13th over: England 22-5 (Morgan 13, Moeen 4) Double change. AJ Tye on for Hazlewood, who worked his way through six quite superb overs. Moeen starts by turning him off his pad for one to fine leg. Morgan is into the thirties in terms of balls faced, and doesn’t look fluent. Patience, man. After he drives a bit uppishly towards mid-off, second slip comes and goes to short cover. So Tye bowls a yorker that is going miles down leg, but they appeal for anyway. Why not, eh. Morgan cannot get Tye away and there’s just one from the over.

4.21am GMT

12th over: England 21-5 (Morgan 13, Moeen 3) The Aussies are changing the bowling! Cummins is coming off after five overs. Mitchell Marsh is on, which is a bit of a surprise. Morgan defends his first ball but is less respectful first up, trotting down and driving to mid-off. Later in the over there’s a big old waft outside off. Still, it’s a maiden. Decent start from Marsh.

A lot of the chat in the Australian corners of my twitter feed is about what movie Channel Nine will show when the ODI finishes early...

4.16am GMT

11th over: England 21-5 (Morgan 13, Moeen 3) It’s a no-brainer, but Smith is continuing with Hazlewood, and Morgan again chops passes his stumps for one. Moeen dots up then turns to midwicket for one. After two dots, Morgan turns to fine leg for one.

Stats like these pretty much go without saying given how England have been doing.

This is England's highest dot ball percentage (77.4%) in Powerplay 1 since the 2015 World Cup. It's also the only innings in that time that they've failed to hit a boundary in the first 10 overs #AusvEng

4.11am GMT

10th over: England 18-5 (Morgan 11, Moeen 2) Cummins kindly gifts England a run by starting his fifth over with a wide over Morgan’s head. The legal deliveries are consistently troublesome, however, and Morgan’s battling to get them away.

A belting powerplay for England, then. The last ball of it very nearly becomes the first boundary as Morgan drives a bit dodgily through mid-off, but Warner hauls it in on the fence. Still, three! That’s their highest scoring shot yet. Morgan dizzily moves into double figures.

@willis_macp Overs in hand, thats the important statistic.....

4.06am GMT

9th over: England 14-5 (Morgan 8, Moeen 2) The first ball of Hazlewood’s fifth – these two might as well carry on – thrashes into Morgan’s pad and they appeal. It doesn’t look right and umps agrees. Pitched outside leg. Morgan advances next ball and doesn’t get it right, with the ball deflecting to third slip on the bounce. He’s then beaten outside off, before nudging to leg for one. Moeen doesn’t score off the last couple and there’s just a single from it.

This innings will, of course, be an absolute statsgasm, whatever happens from here. But 8 is the third lowest score in ODIs ever for the fall of the fifth wicket. Good going.

4.01am GMT

8th over: England 13-5 (Morgan 7, Moeen 2) Morgan gets one nudged into the off-side off Cummins, then Mo leaves one. Lovely to see three slips in an ODI innings. Smith’s in there now! There’s a gully too, which means there are gaps elsewhere. Moeen realises that and hits and runs under his nose into the off-side. Then Morgan so nearly chops on. Goes to drive, it ain’t there and fizzes past his stumps. They run one. Moeen dips under a shorter one and leaves another.

A WICKETLESS OVER! A WICKETLESS OVER!

3.58am GMT

7th over: England 10-5 (Morgan 5, Moeen 1) Not much Buttler could have done about that, frankly. But there’s been a wicket in each of the last four overs, and four of England’s top six have made ducks today. Moeen is in a bit earlier than anticipated. His first ball is short, and beats him. He leaves his second, then nudges his third to leg for one. A run! And another as Morgan splices horribly through square-leg.

I just wonder. England say they live by the sword in this format. They’re dying by it, too. 35 is the lowest ever ODI score, and they are right in the mixer for that.

@willis_macp has the curfew been lifted?

3.53am GMT

Another! You can literally hear Michael Clarke shout “you beauty!” off mic this time. That’s a gorgeous delivery from Hazlewood to Buttler, and he’s gone. It’s just nipped away and he’s caught behind! England are five down!

3.51am GMT

6th over: England 8-4 (Morgan 4, Buttler 0) They crossed as Root played that horrible hoick and Cummins just eases down the ground for a couple. He doesn’t look to score off either of the last two balls.

Six for four is England’s worst ever four-down ODI score... It’s also just the fourth time both openers have made a duck in ODIs. Australia have started brilliantly in fine conditions for batting.

3.49am GMT

England are FOUR DOWN! Root has been very watchful but his first shot in anger makes him the third duckee in the top four! Cummins bangs it in, he tries to pull, top edges and only finds fine leg. Trouble...

3.45am GMT

5th over: England 6-3 (Root 0, Morgan 2) A leftie in for England then. Couple of defended dots get Morgan, the skipper, settled, before he eases a lovely little drive to mid-off’s right for a couple. He leaves the last.

Brian Withington is awake and not happy: “Strewth!” he gasps. “4-3 would not even be a particularly good score for England V Australia at football, never mind cricket.”

3.42am GMT

What a start for Australia! Hazlewood’s got Bairstow for none! He goes to launch into a drive and is caught behind. Hazlewood’s length has been immaculate...

3.40am GMT

4th over: England 4-2 (Bairstow 0, Root 0) Couple of solid defensive strokes gets Joe Root going. Suspect England are glad to have him a place lower at No4 today. It’s a wicket maiden as he defends the next two!

16 balls for Cummins to Hales, then. Four dismissals. Good going.

3.37am GMT

Cummins has got Cummins again! After a dot, he’s jagged one back and it’s bowled him off the front pad! That’s four times in the series...

3.35am GMT

3rd over: England 4-1 (Bairstow 0, Hales 3) Nice enough drive from Hales off Hazlewood, but straight to cover. The next, from a bit shorter, is guided just past point for one. Bairstow plays out four dots. He’s in no rush. Interesting, Australia have two slips, and neither is Steve Smith. Cam White and the Bison, Mitch Marsh, are in there.

3.31am GMT

2nd over: England 3-1 (Bairstow 0, Hales 2) Pat Cummins from t’other end. He’s got Hales out three times for 11 runs, and it’s Hales on strikes now. Leaves, defends, then takes one to midwicket to give Jonny Bairstow a look. His first ball hits his thigh, and his second is defended firmly to midwicket. Just one from the over as he blocks the last to cover.

3.27am GMT

1st over: England 2-1 (Bairstow 0, Hales 1) Hales decides to, you know, have a look at a ball, and leaves his first outside off. He defends the next couple, which are a bit straighter. Then there’s a wide, which Hales tries to wildly cut. Leave them alone, son! He takes a single to extra cover off the extra ball.

The one to get Roy was a decent catch from Smith. Loose shot but, let’s be honest, most of Jason Roy’s shots are a bit loose.

@willis_macp Who was the old bloke that lined up with the Australian team, between Smith and Warner, for the anthems?

3.23am GMT

What a start! The Aussies appeal off the first ball as Roy ambles down and plays across his front pad to one going high down leg. And he’s nailed a drive to point second ball! Smith takes the catch and he’s gone for nothing...

3.20am GMT

Right, time to get going... Jason Roy and Jonny Bairstow on the way out for England, with Josh Hazlewood (Starc is rested) to get the Aussies started.

3.18am GMT

Adelaide Oval is a magnificent ground but the crowd, at least at this stage, does not look magnificent. As the anthems are wheeled away by a band with some fancy looking electric string instruments, there’s barely anyone listening.

3.15am GMT

Test Match Special are celebrating Australia Day by wearing shirts in honour of the least Australian man I know, Dan Norcross. He’s convinced that it always rains there. It did rain during every single Ashes Test!

As well as it being Australia Day, in the TMS box it’s ‘Dress like @norcrosscricket Day’!#AUSvENG#bbccricket pic.twitter.com/Vjh831yoRy

3.12am GMT

Morning Stuie! Seems likely...

@willis_macp morning will

Hope ur well, 4-0 i hope!

3.10am GMT

You can contact me! Do that in these two ways:

3.08am GMT

Up goes the coin and it comes down in Steve Smith’s favour! He chooses to bowl first! Eoin Morgan says he would have done the same because it’s a, and I quote, “really well put together wicket”. He probably doesn’t really care.

Smith says Aaron Finch is out of the best next two games but will be back for the T20s next month. Travis Head will open with Dave Warner, and Mitchell Starc is rested. AJ Tye gets a run in his place.

1.01am GMT

Hello! Greetings one and all, wherever you are in the world. It’s Australia Day and cricket in Adelaide on Australia Day is a thing – and so here we are! Australia against whitewash-hunting England, which really doesn’t sound right.

Australia have lost 10 of their last 11, appear to have no idea what their best XI is, and no obvious gameplan. They score too slowly, but have called up Glenn Maxwell for the injured Aaron Finch (by far their best batsman so far this series). The mail is that Maxwell won’t play and that Travis Head will open the batting on his home ground – he went bananas there on Australia Day last year.

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Nessun Dorma: the podcast that celebrates 1980s and 1990s football

If you associate 1990 with Italy, 1992 with Denmark and 1997 with England winning Le Tournoi, you’ll enjoy Nessun Dorma

Football has changed. The modern game is both richer and poorer than the one we grew up watching. You know the kind of thing we’re talking about: sandy pitches, exquisitely tight shorts, X-certificate tackles that occasionally merited a yellow card, Elton Welsby on ITV. It was almost a different sport.

As we spend half our life talking about the good old days, we decided to start a podcast talking about the good old days. Nessun Dorma is an unashamed celebration of football in the 1980s and 1990s. We build each pod around one main topic, with additional rotating features such as Legend of the Week, Journeyman of the Week, Underrated Player of the Week and Great Players You’ve Never Heard About.

Related: The forgotten story of ... Danish Dynamite, the Denmark side of the mid-80s | Rob Smyth and Lars Eriksen

Related: From the Vault: recalling how England won Le Tournoi de France in 1997

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Move Cook to No3 and look beyond Branderson: how England can regain Ashes | Rob Smyth

A new challenge could revitalise Alastair Cook, wildcards in squads can help find the X-factor and the exits of Jimmy Anderson and Stuart Broad must be staggered

The search for Alastair Cook’s opening partner has overshadowed an even greater need to fill the most important batting position of all. James Vince, for all his seductive talent, is the antonym of a Test No3. There will be more calls for Joe Root to move up, though few captains have had long-term success in that position – Ricky Ponting is a spectacular exception – and there’s a reason why Steve Smith and Virat Kohli bat No4. Dawid Malan has the temperament and adaptability, though exposing him to high-class new-ball bowling might kill the golden goose.

Related: Soporific Ashes series may have been attritional but it still sells with ease | Andy Bull

Related: The Joy of Six: 10th-wicket partnerships in Test cricket | Nick Miller

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