Chloe Stowe's Blog: The Words and Madness of Chloe Stowe, page 9

The Ugly Beneath

My car was totaled yesterday. Well, probably totaled. Both cops said totaled. The paramedics were too busy checking out my mom to say (She’s fine, I’m fine, my four-legged furry muse is fine. Thank God.) Anyhow, I blew through my Prozac and Deplin by 8am. My mind turned as raw and ugly as it has in years. At one point, I clawed my arm bloody. Bad bloody. A new low for me. It scared me to see what lies beneath my meds. I’m better today. Hope this sharing helps someone. You are not alone. Until tomorrow… Chloe, your Claw-Sister #panic #anxiety #selfharm #medication #accident

The Prowess Dare

Step out of fiction. I dare you. Not permanently, not even entirely. Just commit yourself to a non-fiction project that flexes your grammatical prowess. If you’re like me, that prowess had turned alarmingly frail. Of course, I had no idea of this until I landed my sports reporting gig. Hands off the facts, you are forced to manipulate the grammar to make your mark, to entertain. Who knew? Certainly not my emaciated grammatical muscle. Bottom line: Dare to step out of fiction and flex the frail. Until tomorrow… Chloe #prowess #dare #grammar #sportsreporting #muscle #bottomline

Buzz

How do you consolidate buzz? Can you? When you finally have people talking, clicking and following your name, how can an author focus all that general attention into a single project’s sales? Particularly when that project is unrelated directly to the new buzz? Besides flashing up “Buy Me!” lightboxes on your website, what else can a writer do? I loathe this side of the self-publishing business. Utterly despise it. Jeez, I wonder what percentage of buzz I just killed admitting that? Until tomorrow… Chloe #lightbox #buzz #focus #business #selfpublish

The Thin Spread

“Am I spreading myself too thin?” my worry-wart of a self ponders. For the first time in an ever-so long time, I’m attacking three writing projects all at once. Three incredibly divergent flavors of authorhood to boot. Does the shimmying between sports reporting, self-publishing and Cozy Mystery concocting hurt or harm the final products? I haven’t a clue. But I do know I’m having fun. That may be the best final product of all. Until tomorrow… Chloe #projects #spread #worrywart #finalproduct

The Sidestepper

An ant who spends its life pushing a penny up the wrong hill. Single-minded, inconsequential stupidity. Sometimes, I fear my writing aspirations are this. And in those times, I dig my buggy toes in and shove that penny up all the harder. Bottom line: Confront your doubts. Then, sidestep them with a wink. Until tomorrow… Chloe #OCD #doubt #bottomline #confront #sidestep

The Dry House

Mental illness can bleed a house dry. Of kindness. Of civility. Of basic human decency. Fortunately, there are bandages, dressings, ways to stanch the loss. But effort must be made. An attempt to live beyond the blood loss has to be present, has to be active. Is it so much to ask a loved one to try to help himself? As much as they may try, a family can not save a man who refuses to acknowledge he’s bleeding. Until tomorrow… Chloe #mentalillness

Building the Oeuvre

So, I want to get another novella out in August. You know, with the whole self-publishing jazz I’m on. If I can start upping my in-print oeuvre monthly I can build a readership that reliably turns to me for tickling their romantic bones. So, does August see another re-release or do I push out something new? Do I waste something fresh on a process not yet perfected? Or do I practice on tried-and-test some more? So, any answers, my wise friends? Until tomorrow… Chloe #oeuvre #selfpublishing #question

The Porcupine Hours

My quills are up. Sharp, steely spines of exposed nerve all flayed out to protect an anxious underbelly. I don’t enjoy these days. My writing is jerky, plots hiccup, characters look up from the page and warn, “Do not freaking touch me!” I pray, may these porcupine hours be brief and fleeting. Until tomorrow… Chloe #anxiety #writing #quills

Creativity: The Hothouse Weed

How is it that creativity is both a hothouse flower and a common weed? On one hand: fragile, needy of precise conditions and tedious care. On the other: invasive, evasive and manically maverick. Or perhaps it’s only my creativity that grows as both an orchid and a dandelion? Yeah, that’s probably it. If anybody’s got crabgrass and flamingo lilies growing in their head it would be me. Bottom line: Let your creativity grow however it darn well pleases. Fuss about its orneriness after the sprouting’s done. Until tomorrow… Chloe #creativity #weed #hothouse

The Wall

The “What do I do, now?” wall has been hit. Hard. With a bone-jarring SPLAT! Ravenscar will be available tomorrow on Kindle. My first self-publishing effort. Big deal. But… Since it’s been available for pre-order for several weeks, I’ve already hyped it on all the appropriate places. Squawk too much about it and folks will actively turn away from the annoyance. So… SPLAT! Why must living and learning be so bloody unpleasant? Until tomorrow… Chloe #selfpublishing #Ravenscar #hype #Kindle #liveandlearn