Chloe Stowe's Blog: The Words and Madness of Chloe Stowe, page 11

Remember this

Oh, the OCD runs thick in me. I had forgotten how having a fresh release on the market plays wicked with my head. Never mind that Ravenscar is only open for pre-order. Never mind it is a re-release. Never mind I’m on enough drugs to choke a wildebeest. I checked, re-checked, re-re-checked Amazon yesterday to the point of stalker-hood. I’m going to try to turn back to my Cozy today. Try and try and re-try and re-re-try and… Shutting up now. Until tomorrow… Chloe #OCD #mental #cozy #ravenscar #Amazon #release #drugs

Static

I’m crap at burnout avoidance. Yesterday, I put aside the Cozy, hid the Ravenscar release from sight and attempted to just breathe in the silence. And what did I get for my efforts? Static. My mind buzzed with it. Ideas of what to do next, how to do it next, what comes after the next. I couldn’t shut it off… So, I tuned into it. Embraced the chatter. Followed its lead and found the perfect ‘next.’ Bottom line: Lean into the crazy once in a while and see where the bad boy leads. Until tomorrow… Chloe #ravenscar #crazy #bottomline #static #burnout #next

The Ugly Question

I’m working myself raw. This is a bad thing. Ravenscar is finally ready to go to print. This is a good thing. Whether my skinned and obscenely twitchy psyche survives this whole self-publishing, leap-of-faith lark is the truth too ugly to ask. These are the days I cover my mirrors. Until tomorrow… Chloe #ugly #selfpublishing #Ravenscar #anxiety #panic #truth #mentalhealth

The Wise Hide

This is getting real. Unfortunately, I don’t do “real” well. I spent yesterday transferring and formatting the re-release of Ravenscar over to e-book readiness. I downloaded the Kindle Word attachment thingamajig (which I didn’t even know existed) and got to work deciding styles and themes and chapter names and... I panicked halfway through and bolted for cover in my Cozy. Bottom line: It’s ok to hide as long as you take pencil and pen. Until tomorrow… Chloe #selfpublishing #epublishing #kindle #ebook #cozy #panic #anxiety #mentalhealth

Speak Up?

Speech vs. thought. There’s this whole little war going on inside my head. Should my sleuth open the Cozy Mystery muttering to herself out loud what she’s thinking, or should she simply, well, think it? The fact that this is an actual ‘thing’ in my head, a ‘thing’ that I have changed my mind over countless times in the last 3 days speaks poorly of my sanity… Or do I only think that it does? Good grief. Somebody douse me with Prozac and shut me the heck up. Until tomorrow… Chloe #cozymystery #author #anxiety #speech #thought #sanity #Prozac #sleuth

Riding Obsession

I blurbed yesterday. Spent hours getting Ravenscar’s re-release teaser all eye-catching and new. Hours. With the self-publishing rollercoaster leaving the station in the next two weeks, I want my first run at it to be smooth, free-wheeling and… not overly gruesome to my psyche. So, yes, I’ve been obsessing. But is obsessing over preparing the world for my first Cozy Mystery’s arrival (hopefully by Christmas) such a bad thing? Yeah, best not to answer that. Until tomorrow… Chloe and the OCD #Ravenscar #OCD #selfpublishing #anxiety #blurb

The Felling

Felled by social media. The identifying tag on my straitjacket will read this. Perhaps a brief note saying I was cut down writing my first Cozy Mystery will be jotted down on the back? While the Cozy, itself, had little to do with the final sanity-crash, it was the hopes of one day publicizing the venture that doomed me. Yes, in the remnants of my tattered mind, the straitjacket tag will read… A poor hermit crab who wandered too far out into the social sun. Until tomorrow… Chloe #cozy #mentalhealth #socialmedia #socialanxiety #anxiety #straitjacket

...And Who Are You?

I don’t recognize my narrator. Just a few days into putting words to plot in my first Cozy Mystery I’m thoroughly surprised by the voice telling the story. I look down to the page and ask, “Who the heck are you?” Whether this is a good thing or bad, whether this person will continue to be welcomed to The Shallcross Burden or tossed out on her dry-witted ear is anybody’s guess. I’m only the author here. Who expects me to know what’s going on? Until tomorrow… Chloe #narrator #surprise #stranger #TheShallcrossBurden #cozy

A Crooked Man's Crawl

I flop no more. While I’m hardly at a full gallop or even a brisk canter in the actual penning of my first Cozy Mystery, I am no longer laying face-planted on the family room rug, four-legged, furry muse kissing my downtrodden, wholly useless face. Nope. I am now 100 good words in, and that means I’m 100 words done. Life is neither a marathon nor a sprint, it is a crooked man’s crawl. Until tomorrow… Chloe #flop #author #writingtip #progress #muse #marathon #sprint #crawl #cozy

The Next Day

Flop. That’s the sound my writing made yesterday on the world. My first day out on my Cozy Mystery and I couldn’t string two letters together to make a single word. Flop. It took me 43 minutes just to come up with the flop-thing. Me? Panic? Everyday. But not about this. Bottom line: Everybody flops; it’s what you do the day after that makes or breaks a writer. Until tomorrow… Chloe #author #writer #writingprocess #cozy #bottomline #encouragement #panic #mentalhealth #anxiety #flop #after #next