Chloe Stowe's Blog: The Words and Madness of Chloe Stowe, page 10

The Acute Success

Tiny, obtuse and absurd in the real world. Brilliant, acute and a wee-bit miraculous in my world. My successes are often thus. For example: I was able to babysit my nephew overnight on Friday. I’d worried and gnawed over this for months and months. I’d built it up to be a catastrophic event in the making. As usual, I was a fool. The night was a total success. Tiny, obtuse, absurd… brilliant, acute and a wee-bit miraculous. This is a hermit’s life. Until tomorrow… Chloe #success #perspective #anxiety #hermit

Always There

Faced with a big –though, thoroughly childish-- hurdle tonight, I can’t help but wonder why Logic can never penetrate my Crazy? Perhaps that’s what makes my Crazy so ugly? It cannot be understood. It cannot be known. Yet, it cannot be forgotten. The Crazy is always there. Lurking. Until tomorrow… Chloe #socialanxiety #anxiety #mentalillness #logic #reality

Contortions

A wild cherry grew in the lilac. And it wanted to stay in the lilac. So, when I was sent in to disentangle one from the other, contortions were required. Torturous contortions with vile words attached. Extracting a usable Cozy character from the vast and tangled backstory he inhabits in my brain is just as painful. Yanking and pulling, chopping and hacking are all required, but all must be done for the good of the tale. Bottom line: Let the wild cherry grow in the lilac, but you must not let it stay. Until tomorrow… Chloe #contortions #character #lilac #wildcherry

Aggression

An aggressive sponge. A luffa bully. That’s my brain. It soaks up things it has no right to soak up. And, now, that it’s got the sports reporting gig to feed off, the ol’ skull clunker is scooping up every single thing in sight. This is not pleasant. You might even say it sucks. Until tomorrow… Chloe #aggression #mentalhealth #OCD #brain #sponge

A Matter of Size

Is my sleuth too big for her mystery? Seven hours driving through the guts of Alabama gives a writer time to think (particularly when her first Cozy is set in the land of cotton and crummy roads). Anyhow, confidence in my novel’s crime is high. It’s entertaining, unexpected, dramatic and heartfelt. Faith in my linguist sleuth is equally high. She’s a fantastic mess, but… Can this story and this sleuth share center stage, without one detracting from the other? Good question? Sure. Any answer? Nope. Until tomorrow… Chloe #confidence #size #sleuth #crime #plot #Alabama

The Open Door Tackle

I’m bad at open doors. Get twitchy around them. Anxiety flares. Panic swells. By the time I slam the door shut and shove a couch up against the darn troublesome thing, I am ugly, breathless and so mad at myself I could spit. But… Self-publishing requires open doors. Not for when opportunity comes knocking, but when you see it walking by. No time to move the couch when you’ve got to tackle a lead to the ground. So, I tackled The Maryland Sports Blog and am now a reporter for them. Really. Paint the hermit flabbergasted. Until tomorrow… Chloe #anxiety #panic #opendoor #opportunity #sportsreporter #MarylandSportsBlog

Leaps of Faith

Leaps of faith are required. White-knuckled jumps with iffy parachutes and hysterical hiccups. Blindly, terrifying things that no self-respecting, anxiety-pocked hermit should ever, EVER attempt. Self-publishing requires these leaps. Loads of them. Is it too late to bow out of this respectfully? Or is that a hysterical hiccup that I hear? Until tomorrow… Chloe #faith #anxiety #selfpublishing #hermit

Tantrum Sleep

My brain just threw up all over my pillow. After a good day in which my psychiatrist appointment ended with genuine smiles on both our faces, my mind decided to toss its cookies (and every other person, place, thing or idea it had ever met) up in my dreams. Everything. I woke up covered in tidbits of trivia. So, what did I do then? Like any dyed-in-the-wool writer, I picked through all the crap looking for plot material. I am a sick woman. Until tomorrow… Chloe #psychiatrist #dreams #plot #mentalhealth #sleep

The Story's Six

Head check day. Yep, time for the regularly scheduled psychiatrist meet & greet. I don’t mind (insert pun chuckle here). I’m doing well. Unfortunately, the whole writing machine usually shuts itself down on these days. I could push it, but my Cozy Mystery deserves more than Limp Noodle Brain having its six. Bottom line: Sometimes, you’ve got to protect your story from yourself. Until tomorrow… Chloe #psychiatrist #cozy #anxiety #panic #mentalhealth #protection

The Before

Self-publishing is to the author what a gallery is to the artist. It’s the ability to showcase your finished work to the public. Before this phenomenon, an author had to surrender his prized but unsold story to the dust bunnies in his garage. Today, if a writer feels strong enough about a project he can publish it himself, debuting it in a gallery for all the world to see. It is truly a blessing. Worn down to an ugly nub by ‘paperbacking’ Ravenscar, I’d forgotten that… until my mother reminded me. Smart woman. Until tomorrow… Chloe #paperback #garage #selfpublishing #Ravenscar #mother #blessing #opportunity #gallery