Janet Fouts's Blog, page 11
November 24, 2020
Living in Gratitude
I’ve been thinking a lot about gratitude lately, not just because of Thanksgiving on the horizon, but actually because of a loss in our family. Our little dog passed away quite unexpectedly and it was heartbreaking for our family to sit with her in those last hours.
This morning in the shower I was reminiscing of all the wonderful moments we had with her, how she always knew when someone needed a smile or a cuddle. Dogs are natural empaths and we have a lot to learn from them! My heart was heavy, yet full of gratitude and love at the same time.
My thoughts turned to how grateful I was that I knew her, and how often we forget to sit in that feeling of gratitude, how we have made “gratitude practice” into something we “need to do” rather than fully experience it.
We make gratitude lists. We say what we are grateful for at the end of the day, but we don’t give it our full attention. We don’t bask in the warmth of the feeling of appreciating what we are grateful for.
When we don’t fully experience the feeling of gratitude–but rather make it a note and then move on to our busy day–we miss the opportunity to appreciate. We lessen the value and the impact of it on our hearts and minds.
Standing in the shower, I looked up through the steam and saw a bird flit past the skylight, casting a flicker of a shadow for a moment and it just delighted me. The blue sky, the cloud of steam, the fleeting glimpse of wings, it was like a moment in the clouds. (I know, writing this it feels a bit hokey, but stay with me.)
I gave myself a moment to savor how that made me feel. I appreciated how it all came together. Even in a moment of grief, that glimpse of beauty lifted me up. Appreciation is a pure form of gratitude.
With all that happens in our lives and around us, there is always something to be grateful for. We can learn to live in gratitude.
I recorded a short guided gratitude meditation on living in gratitude here. Have a listen!
November 4, 2020
Get Engaged at Work – #MindfulSocial with Carson Tate
Our world of work has seen some dramatic changes recently, and the ground rules for working in this new environment are still up in the air, aren’t they? How do we get re-engaged in the workplace ourselves and enjoy better relationships and a happier team? Can we contribute to the bottom line and to our own humanity at the same time?
My guest this week is Carson Tate, Coach and speaker. In her new book Own It. Love It. Make It Work she reveals why you don’t have to rely on your company, your coworkers, your boss, or anything other than yourself for your professional fulfillment and engagement. You can take ownership for your career, your life, and your happiness right now.
Carson offers a free Dream Job Assessment on her website, give it a spin and learn how you can define what you really need to many any job your dream job!
About Carson
Carson Tate is the founder and managing partner of Working Simply, Inc., a business consulting firm that partners with organizations, business leaders and employees to enhance workplace productivity, foster employee engagement, and build personal and professional legacies. Working Simply has served leading global brands, including AbbVie, Delta Airlines, Deloitte, FedEx, Wells Fargo, Chick-fil-A, and Lowe’s.
Find Carson on her websites and social media:
Personal Website
Company Website
October 27, 2020
Finding Your What – Brant Menswar on #MindfulSocial
In this busy, busy world of ours, how do we know what to give our attention and our energy to? What is worth our focused attention, and how do we stay on the ball without being distracted by things that do not serve us? According to Brant Menswar, my guest this week, it starts with getting clear about what our real core values are and reinforcing their truth again and again. You know, the values that make us who we are, that ground and nurture our true self.
Brant is one of those people who inspire others to really dig deep and evaluate their beliefs, and in his new book. Black Sheep- Unleashing the Extraordinary, Awe-Inspiring, Undiscovered You, he unveils a strategy anyone can follow to locate and define those values that give you the WHAT you need to unleash your own black sheep―the five core values that make you who you are―to empower your life.
As you probably know by now, I have a soft spot for a caregiver, and Brant’s story of caring for his son Theo, who spent 263 days straight in the hospital with a rare blood cancer is a testament to staying true to what matters- no matter what. (Listen in on the podcast at about 40 minutes).
About Brant
Brant Menswar is one of the country’s “Top 10 Motivational Speakers,” a critically acclaimed author, award-winning musician, podcast host, and the CEO and founder of Rock Star Impact, a boutique agency that teaches people and organizations how to cultivate values-based leadership.
His innovative work has changed what’s possible for industry-leading organizations like Netflix, Verizon, SunTrust, Microsoft, ESPN, Hilton, Sony Pictures, St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital and dozens more.
Passionate, engaging and transformational, Brant encourages audiences to discover their “Black Sheep Values” and move forward with deliberate intention. His interactive and entertaining techniques of defining what matters most compels audiences to dive deeper into their lives and start living on purpose.
Where to find Brant:
Website: www.brantmenswar.com
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/brantmenswar
Instagram: www.instagram.com/brantmenswar
Facebook: www.facebook.com/brantmenswar
Twitter: www.twitter.com/brantmenswar
Podcast: www.thoughtsthatrock.com
October 26, 2020
Have You Heard of the Caregiver’s Dilemma?
When something happens to someone we love, whether it’s catching a cold, a sprained ankle, a chronic or critical illness, we take care of them, and whether we recognize it or not, we become caregivers.
Caring for family is something many of us do quite naturally, after all, it’s the right thing to do, isn’t it? But when that caregiving extends for a longer period of time than a few days or weeks, it impacts the carer in ways that they never imagined.
At first, it seems manageable, but over time the extra tasks in the day, trips to the doctor or pharmacy, special diets, and physical needs add up. So does time lost from work, time away from other family and friends, and activities that you usually do for self-care.
In the middle of a pandemic? Even a trip to the grocery store or doctor for something small can be traumatic, and there is always the fear of bringing something home with you, so you become even more isolated, and anxiety rises.
Caregiving by the numbers
There are an estimated 40 million people in the United States at this moment caring for family or friends. 7 million more families of those who have been diagnosed with COVID-19 and are at home or in the hospital where the carer cannot visit.Thousands of carers are unable to actively advocate or care for those they love due to COVID isolation at hospitals and care centers around the country.The carers of over 100,000 who identify as “Long Haulers” those who have “recovered” from the disease, yet have a dizzying number of long-term symptoms requiring care.It’s easy to see there are a LOT of people taking care of family and friends right now, maybe you’re even one of them?The unfortunate – and often overlooked – reality with caregiving is that it’s highly likely that the caregiver’s own wellbeing is suffering. In fact, the statistics show that long-term caregiving causes emotional and physical harm if not addressed.
So what now?
I know about the challenges of caregiving first hand, and how hard it can be to make time for yourself. I know what happens when you don’t take time too!
It took me way too long to learn how to manage my busy life while caring for the person I loved and to finally come to realize that I really could do it and not totally lose myself in the process.
When I started my journey as a caregiver, I struggled through working with the medical team, juggling family time and work, and trying to get a handle on my own reactions to all that was going on. It didn’t always go well. That was the beginning of my studies in mindfulness and the importance of self-care in being the best caregiver and human being.
My book, When Life Hits the Fan was just the start of my sharing what I’ve learned to help others. Since then, I’ve studied with some amazing teachers and learned to be resilient, less reactive, and how to care for myself as well as those I love. It’s been an amazing journey and I’m offering a new course for caregivers to help you see how you can take care of your own self as well as those you love.
I’m offering this course for you to discover (as I have):
How being mindful isn’t woo-woo at all. The techniques I teach are backed by scientific evidence, and they fit into your daily life with ease.How a mindful approach helps us see where we are holding ourselves back from a full life.To become more resilient, able to roll with the punches, and keep your sanity at the same time.How micro-dosed mindfulness can radically change the way you feel about your day-to-day and find the happiness that feels missing right now.
Get the Details
Learn more about this course and register today!
Learn More
September 21, 2020
F*ck the Bucket List- #MindfulSocial with Ayelet Baron
Ayelet Baron is an old friend here on Mindful Social, and I’m honored she asked me to preview her latest book,the first in a trilogy, called F*ck the Bucket List For The Soul- Discover The Wonder Of You.
Ayelet walked away from her corporate career to pursue her truth, to face her fears, and to create a life that challenges, fulfills and enriches not only her own life but that of others.
As we face so many challenges this year, everything has changed in mere days, and now is such a perfect opportunity to take a good look at the hows, whys and why not in our lives and make a choice to see the opportunities we may have been blind to until now. Listen up to hear more from Ayelet, and get the book!
About Ayelet
Ayelet Baron is an Author, Healer, and Global Futurist Through masterfully facilitated guided sessions, books, and talks, she assists people around the globe in their transition to living a healthy life. Recognized as one of the top 50 global female futurists by Forbes, she has been described as a force of nature when it comes to envisioning a more humane world. Her work has been inspired by futurist Buckminster Fuller, who reminds us that “We are called to be the architects of the future, not its victims.”After a very successful career in the Silicon Valley as a global strategist working in every corner of the world, Ayelet chose to write the books she wished had when she started on her journey of becoming a conscious architect. Ayelet is passionate about driving sustainable change and being of service to the next generation of healthy creators. She now offers guidance to those who are ready to trek into the unknown through her writing, guided sessions, and custom project work.
Find Ayelet on her website and social media below.
AyeletBaron.com
Medium
September 20, 2020
Look for the Helpers #caregiving 101
Living under quarantine for the past few months has left many feeling isolated and overwhelmed. Everything changed overnight. We had to figure out how to work from home, workout at home, cook every day, and go beyond cleaning to disinfecting everything. Many are dealing with the added responsibilities of caring for a family member who is ill, as well as homeschooling and activity director.
All this in addition to budget crunching, job searches, toilet paper scavenger hunts and don’t forget the mask!
So much to do.
So much new.
Family caregivers often feel isolated and overwhelmed, too, as their world can be turned upside down in an instant. Like them, you may be thinking, “I don’t have time to do anything else.” In our struggle to adapt we may not want to trouble others with our burdens. After all, friends, family, and co-workers are dealing with their own situation so we don’t reach out for help, just as family caregivers don’t want to bother the nurse or doctor with questions.
But hey, wait a minute. Did we ask all those other people what they thought? Or did we just make assumptions?
If we build our own bubble, avoiding asking for help then we can stew in it, building more and more self-created stressors and “what if’ scenarios. We can exhaust ourselves with ruminations and develop the idea that we are the only ones who can handle the task.
That is not true.
Take a look around you. Look for those people who have lifted you up in the past and let them know you are struggling. Your friends and family may want to help, but is it possible you’ve shut them out? Look long and hard at this and ask yourself if you are pushing away support. Can you open the door just a tiny bit to let some help come in?
Be a little vulnerable and let people who care about you know that you are struggling. Reach out with a simple phone call or email and offer them some simple ways they can support you. There are also a host of trained professionals, support groups and community resources at your fingertips. Search and read through the websites to find the ones that fit your needs.
When we reach out to people to let them know we need a hand, we empower them by giving them an opportunity to lend support and have a positive influence on us and the situation. When we accept their help and listen to their advice (even if we don’t act on all of it), we lift them up and, at the same time, our own burden is lighter.
On the flip-side, look around you and see what you can do for others. The more we can do for others the more impact it has on all of us.
When you find yourself feeling isolated or overwhelmed, know you’re not alone and take comfort in the words of Mr. Rogers, ““When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping. To this day, especially in times of “disaster”, I remember my mother’s words and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers—so many caring people in this world.”
I’m here to help you, too. I wrote When Life Hits The Fan: A mindful guide to caring for yourself while caring for others for you and created the Nearly Mindful Facebook Group to offer helpful resources and a place to learn how to find calm in the chaos.
I also have a number of resources, classes, and helpful tips in my newsletter. Whether you are a caregiver or just want to learn to be more mindful, resilient, and happy in your life, subscribe to the newsletter below.
September 7, 2020
Getting back to “normal ” at work? #MindfulSocial with @RoshaundaDGreen
We are still trying to navigate through what has become a perfect storm of crisis, with a pandemic, economic uncertainty, racial conflicts, political craziness, firestorms, floods, and hurricanes ravaging our country. The impact goes deep into our lives, both at home and at work.
Will we be going back to a normal work environment soon? Ever? It’s not likely that that’s going to be an easy transition for most of us. If we continue working from home, we’re going to have to give a lot more thought to both our home and work environment as well as the culture of the organization.
What will the virtual and in-person workplace look like? If it’s a hybrid, how will we manage to align with the values and culture of the organization? How will we look for work with virtual interviews and use social media to get a clearer idea of the corporate culture before we take a position?
Expectations have changed in so many ways. This week on Mindful Social, I’m with Roshaunda Green. She shares her perspective on some fresh ways to look at leadership and culture in this new normal, and some tips to network and the hunt for a job that fits the way we want to work going forward. Have a listen!
About Roshaunda
Roshaunda Green was employed at Turner Broadcasting System, Inc., a Time Warner Company for seventeen years where she served in several roles. She held positions in Recruiting for four years, Organizational Development for three years, and Project Management for three years. Roshaunda was the Diversity and Inclusion Consultant in the People Development department for seven years. In this capacity, Roshaunda has also worked at several other organizations during her career. She worked at Georgia Highland College as an Adjunct Professor of Business Communications, Randstad USA as a Diversity Project Specialist and Cox Automotive in Sales.
Roshaunda earned a Bachelor of Arts degree in Organizational Management, a minor in Human Resources Management, and a specialization in Project Management from Ashford University where she graduated Cum Laude with 3.5 GPA on the Dean’s List. Roshaunda also earned her Master of Business Administration with a concentration in Organizational Leadership from Ashford University.
Please feel free to connect with Roshaunda on LinkedIn www.linkedin.com/in/roshaundagreen and Twitter https://twitter.com/RoshaundaDGreen to learn more about her.
August 29, 2020
Quarantine Fatigue? Yes. It’s a thing.
There is no denying that the past several months have been filled with many challenges affecting all areas of our lives. While creativity, grit and good ol’ perseverance has carried us through so far, many of us are experiencing quarantine fatigue. Yes, quarantine fatigue is s real thing that takes a toll mentally and emotionally.
We all want to return to real human connection – especially hugs – and our ‘normal’ pre-pandemic lives. However, we know it’s not that simple and nothing is going to change in the near future. No matter how much we wish it gone, the virus is not going to magically disappear.
Now, we’re tasked with figuring out what we need to do to adjust, adapt, and remain sane in our daily lives.
For me, it’s consciously bringing myself back to the present moment time and time again. Another helpful practice is refusing to get caught in the tirade of politics, tribalism and never-ending media stream that that blows everything up for attention. Not only do these things not serve us, they distract from what truly matters. What truly matters is that at this present moment, life is what it is, and we must adapt to it and accept it because this is what we can control. Our power lies in our response in each and every moment.
Gnashing your teeth and shouting at the moon might offer a temporary reprieve but it’s not going to change the basic fact of that we are living in a Covid world. All we can do is be present and breathe.
Ready. Set. Breathe
So, let’s just take a moment to take a breath and check-in with our self to see what is important right now in this moment. Is it really important that we have to go to a bar or a party or even a protest?
When we ask our self, from the very core of our values and shared humanity, does what we really need to do right now change? Or does it stay focused on what’s truly important and that is life, right?
It’s life, so let’s take a moment and get centered, get focused, and remind ourselves that like all things this, too, will pass. Our impatience is normal. If we fight, it will get stronger but if we recognize it and sit with it and lean in, it will begin to lessen.
Please let me know if the 3 Breaths exercise was helpful. If you would like to explore more mindful exercises and articles, I invite you to join the Nearly Mindful Facebook Group!
August 20, 2020
Be Kind and Take No Sh*t #mindfulsocial with Heather Gwaltney
This week on Mindful Social I talk with Heather Gwaltney, author of Be Kind and Take No Sh*t: A Woman’s Guide to Balance, Power & Joy.
We covered a lot of ground in this chat! We covered some of the challenges women face as leaders in our current work culture, with different management and styles than their male counterparts, and touched on the importance of setting boundaries for ourselves, the way women approach problem-solving, collaboration with colleagues, and how the typical archetypes of female leadership are changing.
Listen to the podcast below:
About Heather
Heather is a Mindfulness Meditation teacher and organizational consultant and has worked for over 20 years in the private, non-profit, and education sectors, taught courses at George Mason University, and delivered in-person and online
training for numerous private companies and non-profits.
Heather holds a Masters in Organizational Development and a Bachelors in Psychology with a Business Minor. As a 20-
year veteran of meditation and energy work, her certifications include Mindfulness Meditation, Master Level Reiki and Permaculture Design.Visit her website to learn more about her, and connect on social media:
Be sure to download a free chapter from Heather’s book here: “Get Yourself Some Boundaries“!
July 29, 2020
Mourning the Loss of Resilience
Our nation is mourning the loss of civil rights icon U.S. Rep. John Lewis.
As I watched his casket cross the Edmund Pettus Bridge for the final time, the very bridge he marched every year in the peaceful pursuit of ending racial segregation since the 1960s, I reflected on his powerful presence and mindful response to the many adversities he faced. His dedication to the highest ethical standards and moral principles penetrated partisan politics and united all as the conscience of the U.S. Congress.
Loss is an inherent part of our human experience. From losing jobs to kids leaving home and moving; to loss of friends and loved ones, freedoms lost to obligation or circumstances, and sometimes loss of physical and mental abilities.
Whether you are an active caregiver, your family’s caregiver, or have sole responsibility to care for yourself, taking time to mindfully mourn and manage life’s losses and transitions is essential to maintaining your well-being and building resilience.
Life is going to hit the fan. This is why I wrote When Life Hits the Fan, a mindful guide to caring for yourself while caring for others. Here are some mindful practices from my book to will help you create resilience when life meets fan:
Manage Emotional Triggers
We encounter triggers are those little things that set us off, causing an array of emotions ranging from joy to excitement, frustration, anger, or depression. They happen throughout our day, and sometimes we respond to them more skillfully than at other times.
Maybe it’s when a driver cuts us off in traffic; the neighbor’s dog is barking; an off-handed comment from a co-worker annoys us, or we find a perfect sand dollar on the beach.
When we are triggered negatively, we can shift our focus slightly away from what triggered us to feel the weight of our feet on the floor, or to our breathing.
This shift allows our mind to settle down, refocus, and not be distracted by our emotions in the moment.
We can adopt a gentle acceptance of our emotional response. Instead of fighting against the trigger, we can recognize it, and by doing so, minimize its hold on us.
This gives us space to be more skillful in the conversation, allowing the emotion to pass through us rather than fighting it.
Shift How You Frame It
When you feel stress building, take notice. A mindful pause or laughter can interrupt the spiral and help you regain control of your emotions.
Change Your Focus
For me, taking a deep breath always works. It stimulates the vagus nerve and helps calm my mind to focus on what’s next. Other useful ways to refocus include yoga, stretching, looking out the window or at a treasured object or the thought of a loved one.
I hope you’ve found these practices useful. Please let me know which ones work for you. If you’d like to learn more about emotional triggers and how to manage them, download our free e-book on Managing Emotional triggers.
I’ll leave you with one final way to build your resilience from U.S. Rep. John Lewis, get into some good trouble, necessary trouble.
(video of Rep. John Lewis at #Selma50 from Georgia Democrat on Vimeo.)
