Janet Fouts's Blog, page 17

Why are more companies seeking group leadership coaching? Because it works!

As more and more executives are seeing the value of leadership coaching for themselves, they’re looking to provide coaching for their teams as well. In part to save money, but also to create an internal environment where the team learns together and collaboration happens more fluently.

Executive coaching one-on-one can be powerful, no doubt. A client may have some difficult issues to work through, and prefer one-on-one coaching for personal reasons. For some, it’s the right fit because they want to touch on personal issues as much as corporate ones. Others use a coach to brush up on specific skills, seek a promotion, transition to a new role, identify ways to handle a situation with a boss or co-worker, or work on interpersonal skills.

Why Group Coaching Works

Group coaching can be quite rewarding for the company and team. I’ve seen teams walk away with a sense of empathy for the co-workers, teamwork and camaraderie they just didn’t have before.

With this kind of coaching, we can build a sense of trust and emotional safety because the individual members get a little vulnerable, so they get know each other on a deeper level than they have on a day-to-day at work basis. This is especially true in companies where roles are siloed. When the marketing, engineering and sales teams barely know each other, there is little understanding of what each other is doing, much less who they are as human beings.

For example, coaching a group on a topic related to emotional intelligence like diversity is much more effective when broken up periodically with dyads (two people speaking one on one) and really listening to each other as well as revealing a part of themselves.

If conflict within the team is an issue, where the group is becoming divided (othering) we can bring them together by showing that, in the end, we are all quite similar. Seeing the humanity in each other creates opportunities for empathy and compassion.  We might do any number of exercises such as “just like me”, active listening practices, or group exercises where people self-identify with various topics (dog lover, cat lover, runner, was adopted, was bullied as a child, bullied others as a child, etc, etc). Movement exercises can be quite revealing as well. The practice is crafted to fit the specific needs and inclinations of the team.

These exercises are successful because they take us out of our usual rut in the office. Once we are OK with being a little vulnerable with each other, trust is established and it’s easier to speak to each other as humans. This trust, once developed, continues to flourish after the initial practice. We check in periodically with other practices and analysis or work with individuals as desired.

I believe people love this type of interactive and personal exercise so much because it’s generally lacking in their lives. They have superficial conversations with others in general, especially in the office, but these deeper, more personal connections are what we crave as humans. It’s addictive, really.

From my own perspective as an executive coach, I love working with teams because change happens more quickly when everyone is involved. Coaching one person may not address underlying corporate issues that can be helped with a little time with the team. In addition, it’s scalable financially and in time invested by everyone involved.

Lastly, team coaching is much higher energy. When you can get a team really engaged with each other and practicing together it can be mind-blowing, and the ripple effect can be felt throughout the company. Group dynamics can “un-stick” old habits and ways of thinking with the support of the team.

Are you looking for an executive coach for yourself or your team? Learn more about my services here, or book a free discovery call today.

Living With Resilience – a Webinar

Stress is part of our modern lives, every single day. Some days just getting out of bed can be a real challenge. Living our lives with resilience can seem pretty far away.

Whether it’s a change at work or at home, caring for a loved one, the news around the world, a temporary setback or a major life change, we can all be overwhelmed and not see the way to bounce back.

Join me for this webinar Nov 15, 2018 at 10 AM PT 1 PM ET.
to learn how to use our inner resources to be more resilient in the face of adversity, at home and at work.

You’ll learn:

How to re-wire your responses to negative stimuli, using techniques based on positive neuroplasticity to “Take in the good” and turn it into lasting inner resources.
Coping skills to turn stress into an opportunity for better health and productivity.
See our pre-set responses to specific stresses and how they affect what is really going on
Know our tolerances levels and what to do before we break them
How to identify stressors and create a game plan to address them mindfully
How to develop meaningful relationships with others as well as yourself

This webinar has ended. 

Gimme a break! – #Compassion in the workplace

Photo by Mimi Thian on Unsplash

Workplaces stress is quite literally a killer of productivity as well as health. Bringing compassion into the mix can lift spirits and bring a sense of oneness that may not have existed before. Even if the team isn’t ready for it, showing compassion in the workplace sets a tone that they will gravitate to because it feels right. In a compassionate work environment is less prone to burnout

This post gives you some ways to practice compassion in the workplace and offer ways to care for yourself and others in a way that lifts us all up.

 Compassion for others

The goal of compassion is to be aware and present with what is happening without trying to fix it or absorb the pain for the person experiencing it.

For example, a co-worker just missed getting a promotion, has an ill family member, or a bad performance review. We can’t fix it, but we can recognize their pain and frustration. Simply offering a kind word or a hug lets them know you feel for them and you are there for emotional support.

Taking a moment to help a new hire with navigating the hallways to a meeting. Pouring a second cup of coffee when someone joins you for a meeting. Picking up a dropped item, offering a hand when someone stumbles. All of these are small, yet ultimately significant acts we can choose to do -or not to do- all day.

Compassion in conflict

While in a conflict situation it can be difficult to offer compassion in the moment. Instead, it may be better served to consider how you could be better prepared next time. For example; You had a bad meeting with a co-worker. In the heat of the moment, you both got angry and said things you didn’t really mean to say. Afterward, you feel bad about it and you want to repair the damage.

Take a couple of deep cleansing breaths and get settled in a calm mental state. Revisit what happened and think about how you could have handled this more compassionately. Even if they were wrong and you were right, was there a better way? What really set you off? Something someone else said, or an email from your boss that put you on edge in the first place?

This kind of practice helps immensely in developing the “muscle” of compassion. Now, the next time you meet with this person bring your compassionate heart and a calmer mindset prepared to have a calmer, kinder conversation.

Self-comparison

In a competitive work environment, we can get caught up in comparing ourselves with others, and never being “good enough’. It’s this self-defeating practice of self-comparison that puts us off-balance and creates an environment where our self-worth relies on the judgments of others rather than what is real.

Let’s say you are talking in an important meeting and one of your co-workers interrupts you, talking over you. Your boss redirects the conversation back to you, showing that she values your opinion. This kind of support feels good, valued, not judged. Without gloating we can take this moment into our hearts and let it sit there, feeling good. This is what Rick Hanson calls taking in the good. Really enjoy the experience and you can actually hard-wire positivity into your brain. The more you repeat this with positive feelings, the better!

Self-compassion

In the case above with the co-worker talking over us, it’s easy to start to doubt our own self-worth. The boss jumping in certainly helps, but we may still wonder… Having compassion for ourselves sometimes feels selfish or coming from a “me-first” mentality. But when we allow that self-consciousness to shut down caring for ourselves we can become less confident and focus on whether we are being judged by others. We can withdraw.

If you are struggling with stress at work, or need to bring some emotional intelligence training into your workplace? I’m your girl.

 

 

 

 

What do you do when life hits the fan?

The older we are, the more we are likely to become a caregiver for family and friends or need care for ourselves. In fact, a survey of family caregivers from Caregiver Action and AARP tells us that 29% of the U.S. population provides care for a chronically ill, disabled, or aged family member or friend during any given year and spend an average of 20 hours per week providing care for their loved one).

Yet very few, if any of us are prepared for what it takes to care for others. The financial, physical, and emotional burden can be crushing.

In my case, I started caring for my partner when she was diagnosed with breast cancer about 12 years ago. Like many of us, I flew into action thinking I would ride in and save the day on my trusty white horse! Geez, what an idiot.

I had no idea how to care for her, to deal with the medical system, to help her through the horrors of chemotherapy, countless medical procedures and emergencies that pretty much come with the territory. But I did it. Not as well as I thought I would, but she survived the medical system and my learning curve. It was messy and ugly and heartbreaking, but we both survived it.

Ah, but then, when the doctors told her she was done with the medications, and the testing, and the rest of the mess? That’s when life took a new turn for me.

See, I’d been mostly holding it together, caring for her and our family, learning about the medical system and how to help decide what protocols were best. I was an action machine! (with a few breakdowns when no one was looking).

Now, with the worst “over”, I fell into a deep depression.

It seemed ridiculous. Wasn’t she better? Wasn’t she beginning to regain her strength, her amazing sense of humor? Wasn’t she getting back to work and being her usual take-charge self? Yeah, she was, and now she didn’t need me as much (my words, not hers) and I felt lost and afraid it would come back and I wouldn’t be able to handle it again.

I thrashed around for a very long time, trying to find a way to manage my emotional roller coaster. Drugs, therapy, alcohol, none of those were the answer.

I turned to something I’d done years ago; when restaurant life had me all wound up, I’d practice tai chi to relax. That led to more investigation of the effects of mindfulness practice on our wellbeing emotionally and physically. I took a Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction class, and then learned about cultivating compassion, and before I knew it I was feeling stronger, more grounded, and yep… naturally happy! Well, more of the time, mindfulness is not a panacea, but it’s close enough for me.

All of this is why I wrote When Life Hits the Fan, as a guide for other caregivers who feel overwhelmed, anxious, panicked, depressed and yet want nothing more than to be there for those they love.

The book is written from the perspective of my own experiences and those of more than 50 caregivers, with small, mindful practices anyone can do to improve well-being.

Even if you aren’t a caregiver, the book will help you see that you can take charge of how you respond to your life. You can give yourself the gift of calmly approaching life as it comes and knowing that you have the inner resources to manage it more skillfully. Get When Life Hits the Fan on Amazon.

Twitter manners- how to write good tweets and be a good twittizen

Like any community there are a lot of un-written laws to how you tweet on Twitter. Most of it is just plain common courtesy and some of it is specific to the platform. What I’m posting here in no particular order are the ones I try to remember and I encourage you to add your own for us all to learn from.

Fill out your profile and upload a picture. Before you start Tweeting let people know who they’re listening to. When someone discovers your carefully written and deeply valuable first Tweets, they’re going to come to our profile to learn more and decide if they want to follow you. If you’ve got the default icon and no info they may wait until later. There is no later. They’ll forget you.

Don’t follow a bizillion people right off the bat. Choose your Twitter friends carefully for the value they add to you and your network. You’re looking to build relationships, not notches in your cyber bedpost.

Auto-follow is lazy. I know it’s hard. Especially when you get 10’s or even 100’s of followers a day, but this is about relationships. If you auto-follow you could be suddenly following a bunch of people you don’t want to talk to and have nothing in common with. Then you have to un-follow them and that takes time too.

Only direct message when absolutely necessary and do not auto DM for any reason. Nothing will turn new followers off faster than getting an automated response. If you really do have a kick-ass white paper tell me in public and I just might re-tweet the link.

It’s not about you, you, you, glorious you! If all you ever talk about is you and how smart, witty and perfectly fabulous you are we will all turn our backs on you and pretend we never saw you. Share your Tweet-stream with people you admire (If you don’t have any find some. ) Send out links to blogs, web sites or Tweets from people that are just as smart as you. Better yet, even smarter.

Add value. Share information through links. You can’t keep all the good stuff to yourself. Share links with a very short and clear description so Tweeple know what to expect when they get there.Lave room for somebody else. When you write a Tweet make sure there is room for it to get re-tweeted. That means leave at least 20-40 characters at the end so when someone re-tweets it to their network they don’t have to shorten your Tweet.

Say please and thank you. If you want a post re-tweeted that’s more likely to happen if you say “Please RT“. Of course this means your post has to be that much shorter. Always thank people for re-tweeting or mentioning you. It doesn’t have to be a reply, it can be a direct message or even an e-mail or a phone call. Let them know you appreciate their time and sharing your Tweet with their network.

Give credit to the source. If you found a great blogger find their name on Twitter and say something like “Awesome post from @jfouts on Twitter: to give credit to the author and simultaneously let them know you liked it. Same thing with re-tweets. Don’t steal somebody else’s Tweet without giving them credit. Either say RT @jfouts and then quote the tweet verbatim (don’t edit somebody else’s Tweet unless you have to to make it short enough) or give the title and then (via @jfouts ) as a credit. The only exception to this is if the Tweet has been re-tweeted several times, and then you can credit the original tweeter.

Be personal, but remember you’re in public. Don’t say things you’ll be ashamed of later and don’t be mean. You can’t really take it back even if you erase it. Why? Because your enemies (and some of your friends) will have re-tweeted it to the heavens before you can delete it. This is why Tweeting while drunk is a bad idea.

Be transparent. If your Twitter persona is for a corporation or your looking for a job, let people know either in your profile or by your tweets. The more open you are about who you are and why you’re on Twitter the better.

Put the flamethrower away. There are certain individuals on Twitter who have become quite high-profile by attacking the social media bigwigs at every opportunity. Do we laugh occasionally? Well sometimes, but in the end we don’t respect them and we don’t trust them. Is that who you want to be friends with?

Be open-minded. When you create your new Twitter network of pals think out of the box. Listen carefully for people talking about things that interest you in other niches. If you only talk about one subject with people they get bored with you. Branch out. Talk about your hobbies and follow people doing things you always wanted to do. Someday you might get the opportunity to do something through one of your new buddies.

How to Participate in a Tweet Chat

Twitter chats, sometimes known as a Twitter party or a Tweet chat, happen when a group of people all tweet about the same topic using a specific tag (#) called a hashtag that allows it to be followed on Twitter. The chats are at a specific time and often repeat weekly or bi-weekly or are only at announced times. This post is to give you a quick overview of how to join a tweet chat.

Sign up for a free Twitter account
Fill out your profile, add a picture and follow at least the leader of the Twitter chat you want to participate in. Take a look at some Twitter etiquette tips and tricks to get the hang of using Twitter. Be sure to follow the chat hosts, guests and browse the posts on previous chats to see who else may interest you.

= I’m participating in a few that I really love like #PRChat, #BlogChat and #SmallBizChat. Use the links below to find one you’re interested in.

Finding Twitter chats
Browse a list of regularly scheduled Twitter chats here on Google Docs, and you can find hashtags that interest you on a site like  Hashtag.it or Hashtags.org.

How to listen
You can simply click on the hashtag on a tweet to see all of the recent tweets around that Hashtag. If you try to follow the chat from your own timeline on the Twitter website you can, but if it’s a big chat you can quickly lose the thread of the conversation. Fortunately, there are a number of sites that allow you to follow the chat only and participate more easily.

tchat.ioTwubs.com#tagboard

You can also follow a hashtag in your Twitter client like Tweetdeck or Hootsuite. Just set up a search for the hashtag and all of the tweets with that hashtag should show up in the search window. These apps range in difficulty and also in update speed. I suggest you pick one of these options, drop in a hashtag for an upcoming event and see if it works for you.

How to participate

When someone organizes a tweet chat they choose a hashtag related to the event and a time to hold the chat.They let as many people as possible know about it and ask them to spread the word.Often they will assign a moderator to welcome participants, ask questions, and generally keep the conversation on track.If a moderator posts questions they’ll often use a numeric format- for example Q1. -question content- #hashtag for the chatWhen answering a question like that, you should use A1. – your answer- #hashtag and add a @mention if appropriate to bring someone else into the conversation.When you join the chat, spend a moment scanning the tweets around the tag. Who is talking? If there is a host or a featured guest what questions have been posted? What is the theme of the chat?Feel free to share tweets from within the chat with your network, perhaps by re-tweeting or with comments, but don’t forget to use the hashtag so people can follow alongRe-tweeting the posts of another user in the chat is a common way to support statements from other tweeters and share them with your own networksIf you ask a question or respond to someone in the chat, use the hashtag so everyone can be in on the conversationIt’s OK to greet your friends who are participating in the chat with a quick mention but don’t use the hashtag unless it’s on-topicIf you have enough space in the tweet to share their post and comment too great, but if there isn’t you can re-tweet their comment intact and then @mention them with your feedback and be sure to use the hashtagIt’s acceptable to send a private tweet to someone if it is off the topic of the chat, but try to do it outside of the hashtag so it doesn’t end up in the archive of the chatIf you ask a guest or moderator a question, please stay on topic out of respect for the hostsIf the chat is a wine tasting session, let people know what wine you’re tasting before you tweet your tasting notesIt is not OK (in most cases) to use a tweet chat stream to market your own product or services. This isn’t about youYOu might want to let people know you’ll be participating in a chat in advance. This is a nice way to support the host and let your network know you may be a bit noisy during that time.Some Twitter clients allow users to “mute” a particular tweeter or hashtag. There are some Chrome extensions that can do this for your users if they like.

All in all, Twitter chats can be a fun way to talk about a topic, meet some people interested in the same thing as you are, grow your own network, and have some fun. Give them a try!