Janet Fouts's Blog, page 2

Why We Hold Ourselves Back: Breaking the Cycle of Self-Sabotage

Have you ever wondered why you seem to undermine your own success? Maybe it was a job interview,  a relationship. Maybe it was not starting a project because you “weren’t ready  yet”.  

You’re not alone. Let me tell you about my friend Julia. Julia called me excited and in doubt overdrive—she’d landed an interview for a senior VP role at a major biotech company. This was huge. Julia’s been one of my trusted go-tos for marketing for over ten years. She’s earned many awards and has recommendations from some of the most respected people in her field. 

But as we chatted, I just wasn’t feeling her excitement.  She was absorbed in self-doubt. “I don’t think I can do this,” she told me. “What if I fail? What if the hours are too much and don’t have time for friends and family? What if I’m not as good as people think I am?” 

Her recommendations, strong track record didn’t matter now, or that getting the interview itself was an achievement. Julia’s inner critic was running the show. And it was keeping her from even imagining herself as capable of this next step. 

 Recognizing Self-Sabotage 
I’ve seen this before before in others and in myself too. It’s called self-sabotage. Sometimes we undermine our own progress because deep down, we’re scared—of failing, succeeding, or facing the unknown. 

For Julia, it manifested with procrastinating on her interview prep and overloading herself with smaller stuff at work. She’d take out the garbage rather than think about that interview. She obsessed everything that could go wrong and  pretty soon she was believing she wasn’t qualified—even though the facts told a different story. 

Self-sabotage is a sneaky monster. It can hide behind behaviors like: 

Procrastination: Putting off things that matter most.Overworking: Filling time with unimportant busywork to avoid what’s important.Negative self-talk: Telling yourself and anybody who’ll listen you aren’t enough. Avoidance: Hiding, not answering your phone, steering clear of feedback, preparation, or conversations that could help.

These  kinds of behavior often feel like protection, but they’re really just ways of staying stuck. 

 Why We Sabotage Ourselves 
In Julia’s case, self-sabotage stemmed from deep-seated fears. We talked through some of them together, and they might sound familiar: 

Fear of failure: “If I take this job and fall apart, I’ll never recover.”Fear of success: “What if this role takes over my life and ruins my relationships?”Imposter syndrome: “I’ve just been lucky so far. I’m not really cut out for this.”

You know what? Fears aren’t facts. They’re stories we tell ourselves to stay static, which can feel safe, or comfortable. But comfort can come at a cost when it keeps us from reaching for what we really want. 

 Helping Julia Reframe 
Julia and I sat down to work together to reframe her limiting beliefs into something more supportive. It wasn’t about pretending she wasn’t scared—it was about looking at her fears from a new perspective. 

Here are some ways we worked with this that might be helpful for you to try too.

Challenge the Inner Critic First, we named her fears and questioned them. 

   *Fear:* “I’m not ready for this.” 

   *Reframe:* “I’ve built a career over ten years, won awards, I’ve established my reputation through hard work and that’s why I have amazing recommendations. They wouldn’t have invited me if I wasn’t ready.” 

Shift from Fear to Possibility I asked her what it might feel like to imagine success instead of failure. 

*Fear:* “This job will ruin my relationships.” 

*Reframe:* “Sure it might be busy at first, but with realistic boundaries I can be successful and still nourish my relationships.” 

Focus on Growth We talked about how every leader has to start somewhere. 

   *Fear:* “I’ve never been at the VP level before.” 

   *Reframe:* “My previous roles support my ability to do the work. I’ve proven I can grow and learn at every stage of my career. I also have some wonderful friends who have offered to support me.” 

 Taking Small Steps Forward 
Once Julia started shifting her mindset, she created a plan to help her more forward, one small step at a time. 

Get Support   
Julia reached out to friends and mentors who believed in her. They reminded her of her strengths and gave her practical advice for the interview. 

Chunk It Down
Instead of seeing the interview as one huge, overwhelming task, she broke it into smaller pieces—like researching the company and her soon to be coworkers,  preparing answers, and practicing with a friend. 

Practice Self-Compassion 
Julia had a mindfulness practice already, so we put our focus on self-compassion work to quiet her inner critic. She spent a few minutes each morning repeating: “I am capable. I am ready.” 

Celebrate Small Wins 
We decided she’d celebrate every small step she took. Whether it was finishing a practice session or simply showing up for herself, these little victories helped her stay motivated. 

So. What Happened?
When Julia walked into the interview, she wasn’t completely free of fear—but she didn’t let it control her anymore. She told me afterward that while she still felt nervous, she also felt ready. She’d done the work, and she wasn’t gonna let her doubts hold her back. 

This job was more than just a career opportunity—it became a chance for Julia to face her fears and trust in her ability to grow. And even if she didn’t get it, she knew this experience had already changed how she saw herself. 

 A Reminder for All of Us 
Julia’s story is a reminder that self-sabotage isn’t the end of the road. It’s just a signal—a sign that something inside us needs attention, care, and maybe a little reframing. 

If you catch yourself hesitating or avoiding something important, try pausing to ask: 

What am I afraid of?Is this fear based on facts or just old stories?What’s one small step I can take to move forward?

Fear has a purpose in our lives; to keep us safe. You just have to see the story for what it is and not let it be  bigger than is real. When we can see this, it’s much easier to get a fresh perspective on the story we are telling ourself.   

Like I told Julia: You’ve already done so much to get here. You’re more ready than you think. 

Overcoming Negativity Bias: Finding Balance, Strength, and Resilience

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by all the negativity in the world right now, you’re not alone. Between the headlines, the struggles in our personal lives, and the weight of the unknown, it can feel like negativity is everywhere. It’s easy to feel stuck in a cycle of fear, sadness, or frustration. When we get caught up in  thinking about all this negativity it begins to be all we can see in the world. That’s what we call negativity bias. We literally have a bias to see the negative in everything. When we understand this, we can take steps to find balance, strength, and moments of hope amidst the challenges.

What Is Negativity Bias?
Negativity bias is our brain’s natural tendency to focus more on the negative than the positive. Think of it is a sort of a survival mechanism. Age ago, our ancestors had to be hyper-aware of dangers, like predators or food shortages. Focusing on threats kept them alive. But in today’s world, where the threats aren’t always life-or-death, this bias can work against us.

In negativity bias mode, we’re more likely to remember an insult than a compliment, dwell on mistakes instead of successes, and feel overwhelmed by the bad news we hear rather than recognizing the good that is simultaneously right here.  Over time, we experience more and more feelings of hopelessness or helplessness—especially when life is already challenging.

Life doesn’t have to be like that all the time. By understanding negativity bias, we can learn to recognize when it’s at work, name it for what it is, and take steps to balance the scales.

Step 1: Recognize and Name It
The first step is awareness. When you notice yourself spiraling into negative thinking or feeling weighed down by the world’s problems, pause and ask yourself: “Is this my negativity bias at work?” Naming it helps create space between you and the feeling. It’s like saying, “Oh, I see you negativity bias, up to your old tricks, but I can choose to see there is more here too.

This doesn’t mean ignoring real problems. Challenges, pain, and fear are part of life, and they deserve attention. But recognizing negativity bias allows us to take a step back and question whether we’re seeing the full picture. Often, we’re not. The negative can feel much bigger and heavier simply because our brains are wired to give it extra weight, even when we aren’t in danger.

Step 2: Balance with Gratitude
Once you’ve named negativity bias, you can start to gently shift your focus. One of the most powerful ways to do this is through gratitude. Gratitude isn’t about ignoring the hard stuff or pretending everything is fine when it’s not. It’s about noticing what’s also true.

Maybe today was hard, but you felt the warmth of the sun on your face or heard a kind word from a friend. Maybe you found a moment of peace in your favorite song or saw a stranger help someone. These small moments matter. Writing down three things you’re grateful for each day can help train your brain to notice the positive, creating a counterbalance to negativity bias. Write it down and give yourself a moment to savor how good things feel to you.

Step 3: Practice Self-Compassion
When we’re stuck in negative thinking, we can be so hard on ourselves. We think, “Why can’t I handle this better?” or “Why does everything feel so overwhelming?” Self-compassion reminds us that it’s okay to struggle. Life is hard sometimes, and you’re doing the best you can.

Treat yourself the way you would treat a dear friend who is struggling. Offer yourself kind words instead of criticism. Acknowledge your feelings without judgment. Remember, you’re human, and it’s okay to have hard days.

Step 4: Find Strength in Connection
When negativity bias has you feeling isolated or hopeless, reaching out to others can help you reconnect with your inner strength. Sharing your experiences with someone who listens without judgment can be incredibly healing. Listening to others and offering support can remind you of your own resilience and capacity for compassion.

Connection is a powerful antidote to negativity. Whether it’s joining a support group, attending a class, or simply spending time with people who care about you, these connections remind us that we’re not alone. Together, we can face challenges with greater strength and find hope even in difficult times.

Step 5: Focus on What You Can Control
One of the hardest things about negativity bias is that it often amplifies our feelings of helplessness. We know we can’t control everything happening in the world, but we can control how we respond.

Focus on small, meaningful actions that make a difference in your life or the lives of others. Maybe it’s taking five minutes to meditate, helping a neighbor, or simply showing kindness to yourself today. These small steps matter. They remind us of our agency and our ability to create moments of good, even in tough times.

Finding Balance and Resilience
Overcoming negativity bias isn’t about pretending life is perfect or ignoring the real struggles we face. It’s about seeing the full picture. It’s about recognizing the challenges but also making space for the good—the moments of joy, connection, and hope that are always present, even if they’re harder to see.

When you name negativity bias and practice gratitude, self-compassion, connection, and small acts of kindness, you begin to shift your perspective. You find balance. You tap into your inner strength and resilience. And you remind yourself and others that even in the hardest times, there is always a light to be found.

Take a deep breath and know that you’re not alone on this journey. Together, we can face life’s challenges with courage, compassion, and hope.

Difficult Conversations in Polarized Times

We live in a world full of differing beliefs, perspectives, and realities. At home, at work, or at the grocery store, we are going to find ourselves in difficult conversations at some point. It might seem easier to avoid these discussions altogether, but the cost of avoidance is often disconnection from those we care about most.

So how do we engage in difficult conversations, especially in polarizing times, without jeopardizing our relationships? How do we stay connected when it feels like our worlds are so far apart?

I’ve spent some time working on my own difficult conversations, and lo and behold there are ways to manage through it and not feel like you’re  hiding, making it worse, or giving in “for the sake of friendship”.

Join us Tuesday, Nov 26 for this free and informative workshop on Zoom. 6 PM PT!
Register Here.

This workshop is designed to help you navigate challenging conversations with clarity, empathy, and confidence. I’ll also share a downloadable cheat-sheet to help you prepare, avoid triggers, stay grounded, and stay connected with those you care for.

Can’t I just avoid talking to Uncle Jim?
Sure, it’s tempting to sidestep the conversation entirely. After all, who wants to risk saying the wrong thing or triggering an argument? But avoidance doesn’t make the underlying tension go away—it only pushes it into the background, where it can fester.

Avoiding these conversations often creates more harm than good, eroding trust, creating misunderstandings, and weakening the connection we have with others. Avoiding hard topics, telegraphs that the relationship isn’t strong enough to handle honesty or vulnerability. Over time, this can lead to isolation and resentment, especially in close relationships or team dynamics.

What’s in the Workshop
This workshop is about building bridges, not barriers. It’s about learning practical skills to navigate tough conversations without sacrificing your peace of mind or your relationships. Whether you’re facing disagreements at home, with colleagues, or in your community, the tools we’ll share can help you approach these moments with confidence and care.

You’ll also receive my Let’s Talk workbook—a practical resource to guide you through the process of preparing for and navigating tough discussions.

This worksheet is designed to:

Identify potential triggers and strategies to avoid them.Step-by-step guidance on setting a calm, constructive tone.Prompts to clarify your intentions and needs before the conversation.Actionable tips to maintain connection and empathy throughout.

Think of the worksheet and the workshop itself as a roadmap to keep you grounded, focused, and connected—even during the most polarizing moments. With this tool, you’ll feel better equipped to approach difficult conversations with clarity and confidence.

Why Should I??
In a time when polarization seems to dominate our interactions, it’s more critical than ever that we learn how to feel confident and able to talk to others without it escalating into something destructive. Instead we can be learning how to weave our way through a conversation calmly and knowing that despite our differences, we’re all human, striving for connection and understanding.

It starts with one conversation, one bridge, one act of courage.

Dr. Adam Dorsay – Super Psyched

Do you ever feel like something is just….missing in your life? So maybe you buy an expensive car, a new house, change jobs, and yet, there’s still a sense of “not enough”. Dr Adam Dorsay has worked with Silicon Valley executives,  people struggling with PTSD, athletes and adolescent gang members. They all experience that sense of unhappiness and dissatisfaction, no matter how full their lives seem to be.

What’s the answer, that common denominator amongst us humans? The need to feel connected to what matters.  A sense of rightness that doesn’t often come from acquiring things, even though, at the moment, we were SURE it would.

Dorsay has spent more than a decade of research, and his co-creation of the international resiliency program at Facebook His new book, Super Psyched Adam reveals the secret formula we’ve been overlooking.  The power of connection. In Super Psyched, he shares with us a framework for us to create our own Connection Formula to strengthen our connection with ourselves, others, the world around us, and spirituality in a way that fits each person. Listen to the podcast, and then get the book to see for yourself!

About Dr. Adam Dorsay
Adam is a licensed psychologist and an executive coach in Silicon Valley, where he serves high-achieving adults (including professionals, executives, entrepreneurs, and professional athletes). He delivers lively and well-received keynotes and trainings at institutions like Microsoft, LinkedIn, and the California Psychological Association. He’s also the host of Super Psyched, an award-winning podcast. He has delivered two highly regarded TEDxTalks: one about men and their emotions and the other about friendship in adulthood. The media frequently call on Adam to weigh in on matters related to psychology, happiness, and resiliency.

In addition, he’s a resiliency expert who co-created an international program for Facebook’s Online Safety employees for several years. He now serves as the resiliency consultant to Digital Ocean. He is happily married, the father of two boys, and a dog named Raffi.

Connect with Adam

AdamDorsay.comSuperPsyched PodcastLinkedinInstagramFacebook

Sensitivity at Work is Not a Weakness

In a world that values resilience and toughness, sensitivity can be misunderstood. If you’re  feeling  “too sensitive”—whether in response to criticism, stress, or empathic overload, you are SO not alone.  With so many of us on edge these days, trying to control our emotions (for so many reasons), the roller coaster of emotions can feel overwhelming. BUT. What if sensitivity wasn’t something to overcome but a tool that could help us grow as individuals and leaders?

As a mindset coach, I often hear clients express concern about being too emotionally impacted by work or life “stuff.” Rather than suppressing or denying these feelings, I suggest a different approach: learning to understand, accept, and use sensitivity as a strength. Emotional intelligence, mindfulness, and the right mindset can transform sensitivity into a powerful tool, benefiting personal development and leadership.

Sensitivity and Leadership: A Connection Worth Exploring
Sensitivity can be viewed as a negative in a corporate environment, where strength and decisiveness are celebrated. In reality though, leaders who understand their emotions—and those of others—can foster healthier work environments and build stronger, more cohesive teams. In this sense, sensitivity is not a liability; it’s a gateway to deeper emotional intelligence.

Leaders who understand how emotions impact decision-making, communication, and stress management are better equipped to inspire others, resolve conflicts, and create supportive workplaces.

Don’t think for a moment that these skills are limited by age. Emotional intelligence and mindfulness can be developed at any stage of life, and they are valuable traits in older workers who can guide younger colleagues toward emotional growth.

Intergenerational learning can reduce workplace attrition, increase employee satisfaction, and create a more stable, compassionate work environment.

Bringing your whole self to work, including your emotions, is essential for creating authentic connections and nurturing trust within teams. When leaders and employees are encouraged to acknowledge and understand their emotions, they create environments where people feel safe to express themselves, leading to better collaboration and innovation. Below are five ways to develop a mindset that sees sensitivity as a tool for self-awareness, leadership, and deeper understanding of others.

Observe Your Emotions and Their Impact
The first step in transforming sensitivity into a strength is learning to observe your emotions without judgment. When you feel overwhelmed by stress, criticism, or empathy, take a moment to notice how these feelings affect you mentally and physically. Do you feel tension in your chest, tightness in your throat, or racing thoughts? Acknowledging these sensations can provide valuable insight into your emotional triggers. Ignoring them just puts them off until you’re off-guard!

Bringing in your emotional intelligence with mindfulness allows you to pause before reacting. When you’re more aware of your internal reactions, you make more thoughtful choices about responding to situations. Over time, this mindful observation helps you manage stress better and communicate more effectively, making you a more empathetic and emotionally intelligent leader.

Reframe Sensitivity as a Strength
People are often conditioned to view sensitivity as a weakness. However, sensitivity can be reframed as a strength allowing deeper connections with others. Sensitive people tend to be more in tune with the emotions of those around them, making them better listeners and communicators. This skill is invaluable in leadership, where understanding the needs and concerns of others can foster trust and collaboration.

Leaders who hold space for their sensitivity address conflicts with empathy, understand their team’s emotional dynamics and create supportive environments where people feel heard and valued. Seeing sensitivity as an asset allows you to view your emotional depth as a key component of effective leadership.

Practice Mindful Breathing Techniques
When emotions run high, it’s easy to feel out of control. One of the most effective ways to calm emotional overload is through mindful breathing. Focusing on your breath can create a sense of calm in both your mind and body, allowing you to respond more skillfully in stressful situations.

Breath practices reduce immediate stress and enhance emotional resilience. Techniques such as deep belly breathing or box breathing (inhale for four counts, hold for four counts, exhale for four counts, and pause for four counts) can help center your mind, providing clarity and focus in moments of emotional intensity. This mindfulness practice becomes a valuable leadership tool, allowing you to maintain composure under pressure and approach challenges with a clear, grounded mindset.

Deepen Emotional Awareness Through Reflection
Reflecting on your emotions and their sources can provide valuable insights into your emotional landscape. Why does certain criticism affect you so deeply? What are the underlying fears or insecurities that amplify your emotional responses? By exploring these questions, you can begin to understand the patterns in your emotional reactions.

Journaling or engaging in regular self-reflection helps you process emotions in a structured way. With practice, you become more aware of your emotional triggers and how to manage them constructively. As a leader, emotional awareness enhances your ability to empathize with others, resolve conflicts, and create a positive work culture.

Foster Emotional Intelligence in the Workplace
Developing your innate emotional intelligence benefits you, too. Leaders who value emotional intelligence see it in their team as well as in healthier, more stable work environments. Employees who feel understood and supported are less likely to leave their jobs, reducing turnover and increasing workplace stability.

Sensitivity as a Leadership Trait
At any age, we can develop the skills of emotional intelligence, mindfulness, and a growth mindset. We can use these skills as leadership assets by embracing sensitivity, observing our emotions, and learning to respond thoughtfully. Older workers, with their emotional wisdom and life experience, play a crucial role in mentoring younger colleagues, helping them build the emotional intelligence necessary for long-term success.

Emotions An Integral Part Of Bringing Your Whole Self To Work
When leaders and employees are empowered to embrace their emotions, they foster environments of authenticity, empathy, and trust. In a world where the ability to connect, communicate, and lead with empathy is more valuable than ever, sensitivity is not a liability—it’s a powerful tool for better understanding ourselves and others. When leaders model emotional intelligence, they create ripple effects that transform workplaces into more compassionate, resilient spaces where everyone can thrive.

Want to learn more about working with emotional intelligence and leadership? Reach out and let’s talk. I lead workshops as well as coaching individuals and teams.

Real-World Enlightenment

This week on the Mindful Social Podcast!

Say hello again to Susan Kaiser-Greenland! Susan’s new book, Real-World Enlightenment: Discovering Ordinary Magic in Everyday Life, showcases her trademark practical yet joyful approach to wisdom practices with 50 mindfulness tools to help navigate the grind of modern everyday life. Drawing from global wisdom traditions and scientific insights, Susan shares her own stories from a lifetime of being a seeker into digestible strategies for everyone.

Her pioneering work in mindfulness education for both children and adults is showcased in her widely translated books, The Mindful Child and Mindful Games as well as the Inner Kids model for educators. 

Many of her guided meditations and resources are accessible on popular apps like Insight Timer as well as at SusanKaiserGreenland.com. Featured in media such as The New York Times and CNN, Susan continues to advance mindfulness globally, as an Advisory Board member at the Tergar Schools Project in Nepal.

As you may know, I invited Susan on Mindful Social Business a few years back to discuss the ABCs of Attention Balance and Compassion.

Connect with Susan

WebsiteGet the bookFacebookLinkedinInstagram

Just One Heart

How many times have you encountered a physician who really listened to you, and you felt not only heard but that the person you were talking with seemed …well, grounded? It’s very possible that your physician is part of a growing cohort of healthcare professionals that are taking the path that my guest, Dr. Jonathan Fischer offers in Just One Heart. This book is for all of us who want to navigate care for others and ourselves with wisdom, compassion, and a holistic approach to care for our minds and bodies.

About Dr. Jonathan Fisher
Dr. Fisher’s mission is to help others “train the mind and heal the heart.” He is a cardiologist who focuses on healing the heart in the broadest sense, encompassing both the physical and emotional aspects of cardiac care.
 
Educated at Harvard and Mt. Sinai, he is a mindfulness meditation teacher and organizational well-being leader. Reflecting on his journey, he shares, “I took care of 20,000 other hearts before taking care of my own.”
His experience with anxiety and burnout has transformed his approach to health. Dr. Fisher has designed programs for an organization with 38,000 team members, reducing stress and enhancing well-being.

He has delivered keynotes, workshops, and retreats for organizations globally across various industries. His efforts in addressing burnout in healthcare, including co-hosting the Ending Clinician Burnout Global Summit, have garnered international attention.
Named on Charlotte Magazine’s “Best Doctors” list, he resides in Charlotte, North Carolina, with his wife, three children, and two doodles. 

Connect with Dr. Fisher

WebsiteGet Just One HeartLinkedinInstagramFacebookTwitterYoutube

The Power of How We Respond to Good News

You know how it feels to share good news, right? The excitement as you tell someone of your success, a breakthrough, a moment that just made you feel a thrill or simple joy. You wait for them to respond to the good news, which can dramatically impact how you feel about your good news.  

Maybe they made it even better by celebrating with you and supporting you in a real, human way. Or maybe they kind of shut you down, and suddenly, your news feels less amazing. Have you had this feeling before when you shared your good news?

The way we respond to others’ good news often reflects how we feel about ourselves and our self-awareness and empathy. When we actively engage with someone’s joy, we create a safe space for them to experience their positive emotions fully. This can strengthen our connection with a sense of mutual support and appreciation.

According to Dr. Shelly Gable, a researcher on social interactions and relationships from UCSB, there are four common styles of response to good news:

Active-constructive: This is the golden response, characterized by genuine enthusiasm, active listening, and a desire to share in the other person’s joy. (That’s great! Tell me more!)Passive-constructive: Well-intentioned but lacking in enthusiasm, often involving generic positive statements. (Uh-huh, that’s nice.)Passive-destructive: Shifting the focus to oneself, potentially through comparison or as a distraction from feeling left out. (Oh, that’s cool! I just got an even better offer!)Active-destructive: Outright negative responses, such as criticism, doom-speak, (Oh, you’ll see…)

Which response style resonates with you?
When I first discovered Dr. Gable’s 2004 research (PDF), I realized that I had been unknowingly cycling through all four types of responses in my own interactions. Sometimes, I’d bask in someone else’s joy, offering genuine enthusiasm and support. Other times, I’d fall into the trap of comparing or telling them my story to show them I understood their feelings. I didn’t mean it to be deflating, but I can see now that it was and I wanted to do better.

I decided to make a conscious effort to notice my response style in a conversation. I mentally gave a name to my response, the other person’s emotions, and my own emotions. Then, I made a conscious choice to shift towards more active-constructive responses. It was amazing. I felt a deeper connection with the person, and their reaction to my response showed clearly that I was going in the right direction. A bonus was in my well-being. Sharing in someone else’s joy with empathy and support feels wonderful, and has a lasting impact.

For example:
Let’s say a friend confides in you about a challenging new promotion. How do you respond? Do you genuinely celebrate their success, ask questions to dive into the details, and mirror their happiness? Or maybe you shift the focus to your career challenges or wonder if they can handle the new challenge?

Sound Familiar?
Are you consistently offering the kind of support you’d want to receive if the shoe was on the other foot? Remember, there’s no judgment here. We’re all on a journey of growth as we move about in this world. Invest in yourself and better relationships.

Working on better
The next time someone shares good news, take a breath to check in with yourself and consider your response. Are you fully present, engaged, and empathetic? If not, don’t overreact. It happens, and small steps can lead to significant changes. Take a breath to fine-tune your response for everyone’s sake. Don’t fake it, be your true self.

Shifting towards more active-constructive responses is an investment in improving your relationships and your happiness. By celebrating others, you’re also celebrating yourself. You’re cultivating a positive and supportive environment where everyone feels valued and appreciated.

Sometimes it’s super-helpful to reflect on a conversation afterward and plan what you’ll say next time, or craft a heartfelt response for the next time you see them. It’s never too late! You can enrich your relationships and find greater joy in your own life with practice.

The Empathy Dilemma

On Mindful Social this week, I’m chatting with Maria Ross. She’s an empathy advocate, speaker, trainer, author, and podcaster devoted to helping forward-thinking leaders and brands embrace radical success through empathy.

 This is Maria’s second spot on the show when we spoke about her book The Empathy Edge, and her new book, “The Empathy Dilemma: How Successful Leaders Balance Performance, People, and Personal Boundaries,” Is a practical guide to navigating the complexities of leadership. It’s a resource that will empower you to balance the needs of yourself, the business, and the people you work with, without burning out. Maria’s five pillars of effective empathic leadership apply to us all in all the many aspects of our lives.

And yes, there’s more!
Have a listen to the podcast and then preorder the book at the link below! Maria is offering some great pre-launch deals. Find out all about those, and grab your copy here.

Find Maria

WebsiteThe Empathy Edge PodcastLinkedinInstagramFacebookYoutube

Lasting Happiness: Why Contentment Matters More Than You Think

Are you chasing happiness like a butterfly, only to have it flit just out of reach? Social media feeds bombard you with images of perfect lives, and that nagging feeling of discontentment just won’t go away. Maybe you’ve achieved some goals, but the joy feels fleeting. What if there’s a better path to lasting happiness, a secret weapon that can bring peace and satisfaction even when life isn’t perfect? That secret is contentment.

Contentment isn’t just a momentary feeling of happiness – it’s a deeper sense of peacefulness and acceptance. It’s about appreciating the good things in your life, big or small, and feeling comfortable in your own skin, even when things are challenging. Think of it as finding a steady inner light that doesn’t flicker with every gust of wind.

Here’s why contentment might be the key you’ve been searching for:Contentment is sustainable. The highs of happiness can be fleeting, but contentment offers a sense of calm and well-being that lasts.Contentment fosters gratitude. Taking time to notice what you appreciate makes it easier to feel content. This creates a positive cycle, helping you find joy in the everyday.Contentment reduces stress. Constantly chasing happiness can be exhausting! Contentment allows you to let go of the pressure to be constantly happy and accept life’s ups and downs.So, how do you cultivate this secret weapon?Celebrate your strengths. Doing things you’re good at builds confidence and a sense of accomplishment, leading to contentment.Practice gratitude. Take a few minutes each day to reflect on the things you’re thankful for, no matter how small.Savor the good times. Don’t let positive moments slip by unnoticed. Take a deep breath and appreciate the joy you’re experiencing.Be generous. Giving back to your community is a great way to feel good about yourself and connect with others.Self-care is crucial. Getting enough sleep, eating healthy foods, and exercising regularly all contribute to your overall well-being and sense of contentment.

Remember this: contentment is a journey, not a destination. There will always be challenges and setbacks—that’s just life—but by focusing on the good, appreciating what you have, and taking care of yourself, you can build a foundation of contentment that will bring you lasting peace and happiness.