Jude Stringfellow's Blog, page 50

I'm Thinking Kinghorn!

 One of the most fun things that I do (yes, I'm that boring) is to get on www.rightmoves.co.uk and look at places to live. I know every last inch of Scotland I think; at least the Lowlands. I'm not really into the Highlands, sorry.  I am not a born Scot, but I have Scottish blood running through me. Unfortunately, I also have English blood as well, and this could be the reason you'll see me fighting with myself. I know, I know, I shouldn't be so hard on myself. I do have a 5% Italian/Iberian thing going on, so there could be a referee inside of my brain telling each of my other sides to get back to their respective corners. I'd love to sell off my English blood/roots for those of a more tartan color...alas! I am who I am.

    After long long hours, many days, weeks, months, and even years, of going through the channels on YouTube, watching videos, researching and even subscribing to local newsletters, I knew I would more than likely end up in Fife. I love Bo'Ness in West Lothian, don't get me wrong, but I would feel more at home, more "Me" if I were in the Kingdom of Fife. Just sayin'. It's like I want to say "Why yes, I do live in Scotland, where? Oh, I live in the Kingdom!"  In case you didn't know, I am a dork. Yes, I am! BIG time dork.  If I can say I live in the Kingdom, I will do that. So, having given the Kingdom a really hard look over, and coming up with my top three choices, I'm thinking Kinghorn has edged out Inverkeithing, which was just slightly above Dalgety Bay, to begin with.  

    Dalgety Bay was #3 and would have been #2 if Inverkeithing didn't have a better train route to Edinburgh. However, Dalgety Bay has more beaches, more stores, more entertainment, and more people than Inverkeithing.  Nevertheless, it's also more expensive for the EXACT same square footage, etc. I don't have to live on the beach. I don't have to live next to a grocery store. I have the bus. I have the train. I can do this and if I can do this at $99,000 versus $149,000.00 I'm going to. That's where Kinghorn comes in! WHAT?  That's right. It's less expensive than even living in Inverkeithing.

    Kinghorn, according to the SIMD (Scottish Index of Multiple Deprivations. It's a real thing) is ranked as high as Dalgety Bay in terms of liveability, and it's cheaper. It would take me 43-48 minutes on the train to reach Edinburgh rather than 37-39 minutes, but for the cost difference, I'm good.  Kinghorn is prettier than Inverkeithing, it's as cheap if not cheaper but has very very very pleasant scenery, and it's has a good church, multiple things I can join to be a part of the community, and it has a BOXING GYM!! WHAT? Yes, that makes me happy.  I will join that.

    The three things I have to have access to are: food, health, and a way to get to Edinburgh.  There are 3 or 4 shops that have enough food for me, and I can take the train into Dalgety Bay to get more or have it delivered.  There's a hospital in Kirkaldy only 4 miles out, and the rail station is about 1/10 of a mile from where I am looking to purchase if I get the money to do it. I think if the flats are not available, I'll just wait until one is available. It's a good place. I may have to do it. I can see myself living there, walking the beaches, boxing, bowling (not the same as it is here), and riding my bike up and down the coast. Good scenes. Good vibes. Good all the way around.

    The train taking you into Edinburgh literally runs every 20-30 minutes from 6 a.m. to about midnight, so there's no reason to stay overnight in the big city. I can just hop on early, stay all day, get back on the train, and come home after a day of museum hopping and walking large parks with borrowed dogs. I think I'll find a place that will loan me a dog; that would be a great business, don't you think? They have a place already where you can have tea with cats in Edinburgh. Why not borrow a dog and take it for a walk around the Meadows? I could see that being a thing.

    OK anyway, that's the thought of the day.  Kinghorn.  Google it. It's worth it.

Photo Credit: Pinterest.com

Groceries and Me.

 Anyone who has spent any real time with me knows I love going grocery shopping. Now, let me back up and say I love going grocery shopping when I have a lot of money to spend. I don't really like going if I'm on a tighter budget. The fun is in buying the unique and one-off things you need to make a particular dish, or just because you saw something and thought you (I) had to have it. I love that. Also, I love Aldi. This fact is a real shock to my Scottish friends because, in their country, Aldi isn't the better choice. Here in the U.S., and in Oklahoma City particularly, I love it. It's a very open and clean store. Yes, they could use another cashier or two, but if you go when there are fewer people that really isn't a problem.

    Aldi, along with many other stores, has discontinued using plastic bags (one use) and I really appreciate that. I know we use them for lining our bathroom trashcans, but we can use something else. We need to do what we can do to reduce the carbon footprint; but then again, saying that I know what the Bible says about the last days and especially after the Rapture, so yeah, plastic bags are the least things to worry about. Nevertheless, if I can do that now, I can do that. I even fussed because the gallon jugs of oils and vinegar that I buy are still in big heavy thick plastic bottles. We could use glass, but that's dangerous; I hate that.

    Back to the grocery shopping. I went to Big Lots today to get some things because believe it or not, Big Lots has a lot of really cool things. I got toilet paper, paper towels, dishwashing soaps, and all that sort of thing. I also got the condiments, coffee, filters, and things you can't remember to buy when you're buying actual groceries. I ordered the cat food online but picked up the dog food and treats because we had run completely out last night. Can't have hungry dogs. We can have hungry cats for a day, but then they start circling your bed when you lay in it....and you know.

    I went to Aldi finally, and without even trying I filled up that grocery cart with literally EVERY thing I wanted except they didn't have the Brussels sprouts I wanted and they didn't have their chicken on sale; Winco to the rescue. I'll do that Tuesday. When you walk into Aldi (in OKC) you hit the produce. Yes, please. Then the bread, the crackers, the cheese, the cans, the snacks, cereal, and some meats. I love this store. I think I spent $250, and I could have spent more if I did get the pot roast and chicken, but I'm going to Winco for that. Winco has the bulk section where I pick up my trail mix stuff and they have more produce to pick as well. Aldi doesn't have the melons, the squashes, or the spinach. 

    At Big Lots, I also picked up my first EVER George Foreman grill. It's the one with the copper plate and they had mismarked it. I thought it was cheaper than it should be, but since that's the price that was marked, that's the price I got it for. Woot!!  My son has it, and it really works well. Again, with the whole trying to lessen my carbon footprint, I'm using the smaller appliances when I can.  Big Lots also has the coffee I like, cheap paper products, that I already mentioned, and they have vinegar in jugs. I use it for my baths. Yes, I'm a weirdo, but I am ph balanced!!

    I went on Pinterest and found 11 dinner recipes to make between now and the next time I get paid. I figure if I go to the store and buy what I need I can save a buck or two. I am not sure I did, but at least I have all the things I need to make really good food.  I always make enough to eat the next day for lunch, or maybe dinner if I grab a peanut butter sandwich; yes, I bought great peanut butter too. If I go to Winco and get their peanuts they have a machine that crushes them into peanut butter and that's really good!  I think I ended up with six different cheeses and cream cheese so I can make the chocolate cheesecake. I don't use sugar, I use monk fruit, but it's still just as good. You should try that sometime.

    About the only things I didn't get that I need to get at Winco now are the things I've mentioned and Cadbury easter egg chocolates, the little ones. I'm making bird nests with chow mein noodles, chocolate and butterscotch morsels, and coconut. Pinterest that, no wait, I'll add a photo at the bottom. They are so cute. I am going to make the cheesecake, and then also I'll make cupcakes with ice cream cones which will be adorable. I just have to get another cupcake pan. Mine is really old and I'm done with it. I know...40 years is a long time to keep a cupcake pan. It is. It will be loved and remembered. It just won't be in my kitchen anymore.

    So that's it. I got my good healthy heart and soul dose of going grocery shopping. I have my hemp hearts, hemp oil for cooking, zen teas, pea flower tea, eggs, bacon, bagels, and more. I didn't buy anything really from the dairy section other than milk, butter, cream cheese, heavy whipping cream, creamer, and yogurt. LOL. I guess I did, huh? I love shopping for food. I could do it all day but not for someone else. There are people who do that, but I like doing my own. I used to go online (and yes, I still do) at www.tesco.co.uk and I fake order food. I don't actually order it as I don't have an address in Scotland for them to bring it to, but I do shop and dream about it. Go ahead, say I'm weird. It's cheaper than cocaine, and not as deadly! 

Photo Credit: Pinterest. (You can use chocolate morsels too, and coconut)

    

If I Die It Was the Cake in a Mug

 So,  I was cleaning out my kitchen cabinets a bit before organizing everything into these really cool plastic containers with lids. I bought a whole mess of them, and if you're not from the South, and I have to explain "a whole mess" then maybe it's time I started a blog on Southern hospitality and verbiage.   I bought a lot of containers of various sizes with the same type of snap-on lids. I'm not really going for the air tightness as much as I am going for the "not falling on the floor when I pick it up" sort of thing. Anyway, I was doing that, and I cleaned out the back of the top shelf and found a real gem...unless it's not.

    I found a box of Duncan Hines mug cakes. This one happens to be confetti or whatever, it's the one with the birthday colors and it's a white cake basically. It's so cheap and so cheesy, to begin with; if I die, it's because it's about two years old and it's a Duncan Hines mug cup; I have NO IDEA if they have a shelf life. I didn't look at the box either to see if it had an expiration date. I figured if the colored things in the mix weren't grey or black, I'm good.

    To make it you dump the little pack into a cup that's microwavable. You add 3 tablespoons of water (I added 4) and you mix it up before cooking it for just over a minute. I think I put it in for 1:23 seconds since the numbers 1, 2, and 3 were really close to one another. You hit the start button and you wait. They come with frosting too, and really, I should have just thrown it out when I thought about it because even when I was opening it and squeezing it out onto the newly baked mug cake, I thought the off-white color was more beige and I said to myself, "Yeah, no." but I did it anyway. To make up for that though, I did add a boatload of new pink sugar sprinkles. That should fix it.  By the way, a boatload is not nearly as much as a whole mess...it just isn't. They aren't the same thing.

    I got about four bites in before I decided to share with the dog. Now, by sharing with the dog, if you think I just gave it all to her, you're right. She's a Pug, Chihuahua, and Dachshund mix, there's not much she says no to. She'll be OK. There's a big bowl of water right next to her and she's eye-balling it as I'm typing. She knows when she's had enough fun.  She even left a few dribs for the cats, but you know cats don't really do clean up. They're useless for the most part. We keep them around to remind us to pray. 

    Life in the Stringfellow household can be so edgy!! We are just rocking with the whole living-on-the-edge thing, and being really "hip" you know. LOL...I am so trying to be that way. I think I achieved it. I can see my grandkids shaking their heads at me. They know I'm a dork. When I pulled the mug cakes out my daughter, (their mom) told me to throw them out and I asked her why. I literally said, "It can be a science experiment if we let it be." So we made it. I ate part of it, I didn't die, but I do think maybe she was right. I think I could have checked the expiration date on the box. I'm going to go do that now.

    OK, so yeah, I did that. I checked. It has a best-if date. So it was BEST IF used by April 2019; that's only four years folks. I'm good. No, I'm lying. It was Feb. 2022. Tomorrow is April Fool's not today. I should wait to post this; but you know, it's close enough. I have to be honest with you, those mug cakes suck when you get them new and they're fresh. If you can cook something by only adding water, and only for a minute, it's not going to be good - - that's a gimme. You really shouldn't throw your money away like that, or put your dog in that position. She's OK. She burped. It's all about digestion. 

    I hope this blog has been informative as well as interesting for you. I could have videoed it and made a lot of really cool statements about experimenting and show you the colors of the candy crystals to see if you thought they were too old. The icing was a giveaway - - it was NASTY; even the pink sugar crystals didn't really help. Let it be known that I will likely never buy those things again. I really don't think I bought them in the first place; that seems more like a kid's purchase if you ask me. Anyway, we lived, and now we have space in the cabinets for more important things like coconut protein bars and hemp hearts! Yeah!! That's so much more like it.

Photo Credit: Amazon.com

Talk About BOO-BOOs!!

 OMG...sometimes you just make the biggest and most idiotic mistakes in the world, and NO ONE calls you out on it. I mean, I just about made one of these types of unforgivable flub-ups but thank you, Sir. Walter Scott, for coming to my rescue! (Scott and Byron were close friends and I realized that before the last edit) No, seriously, I must have been on the wrong plane and going up the downstairs escalator a few too many times because in my new book "Of Kilted Pleasure" I literally (and this may or may not mean much to you) credited the writing of "Paradise Lost" to Lord Byron, who by the way, wasn't born for another two centuries!!  Nothing to see here folks, just a moron doing moronic things!!  I've read John Milton's "Paradise Lost" and I know who Lord Byron is; but why I would have written the author incorrectly in my own book is...well, it's stupid! That's what it is. 

    There I am, or was, writing the book, and I went through at least 12 readings and missed it every single time. I don't know why. I don't have a clue as to why I would have listed Lord Byron as the author, to begin with, but NOT ONE of the people I had read the book for me pointed out my mistake. No one said, "Hey Jude, you do realize that Lord Byron was about, I don't know, negative 200+ years old when that book came out".  Let's do the math. Paradise Lost was written in 1667 and Lord Byron, born George Gordon Byron, was born in 1788, so well, OK, it's not 200 years, but it's not him!!  He wrote "Jane Eyre", "Don Juan DeMarco", and other things. He wrote "The Vampyr: A Soap Opera" which I only started in the 9th grade and never finished. I need to do that.  Geez, I'm a dork.

    I guess I could just say I'm normal, but these are the types of mistakes I make. I rock along really well, and then BAM! I threw the entire world into a tailspin without so much as even really thinking about it. When I was writing the part of the book where I mention the books and authors I couldn't decide which one I wanted the lady to read. Then I realized that she was in 1731 and Byron wasn't born until 1788 so it couldn't be his work. I changed the title of the book to something that was written earlier, but forgot to take out the author's name! OMG!

    I quickly sent off an email to the lady who makes those corrections and she has been so gracious and kind not to charge me. I would have had to pay for it, and I would have paid for it. That sort of thing can't happen. Here I am claiming to be an avid reader with my Master's in Writing and English and I do that. I would have given myself a mark for sure had I turned in an essay with that sort of boo-boo. We all make mistakes, but mine do tend to be whoopers!! This is the reason, the one reason, the best reason, why I try harder than most to make fewer mistakes. I can out mistake just about anyone when I don't try to. 

    I feel better now.  I'm working on the cover and it's about to be done. Laura helped me with it. We sent it in for final approval, and we will find out if it is done or not. I hope it is. She did a great job. The one posted here is without the extra added fog at the bottom, to make it more romantic and mysterious, but you'll get the picture. The book comes out in May I think. It will be online at Amazon and with Kindle for $6.99 I think, or $7.99.  Then the paperback will be about $18.99 or so with discounts. I'm not sure I'm even doing a hardcover. There may be one available online, but I'm not ordering any to give out. I think romance books should be paperbacks....or now, Kindle. LOVE my Kindle. Don't get me started.

    Thank you, Kaye. Thank you, Laura.

NOT Thrilled But I Will Survive.

 I'd like to blame it all on First World Issues. I really would. I would like to say I only encounter petty problems and I'll just have to deal with them as they come along. For the most part, this is actually a true statement. I'm not dealing with physical issues or mental issues that create havoc in my life. I'm not dealing with external issues such as being bombed or having to worry about violence and criminal or war activities. For the most part, thank you, Jesus, I am really just dealing with small and inferior problems that I can pray about, work out, or just forget about.  This is a good thing. Let me tell you about my latest issue.

    Xlibris publishing won my bid for publishing my new book "Of Kilted Pleasure" but I can almost (almost) guarantee that I won't make that mistake again. I will likely go with Outskirts Press and I'll more than likely sing their praises as opposed to complaining. I really do hate complaining, and I thought about not complaining, but the truth is if I don't mention my experiences other authors will fall into the same traps I have. I want to at least do my part to help them not make the same folly I have made. 

    Xlibris was the choice due to two issues: (1) this book is a novel, it's not a picture book, and it's not a book with photos and captions. There are no slick pages in this book. (2) money.  They offered the same package that others offered; the exact same package, and they were about $500 less than the others. I should have gone with the others. There is something to be said about performance, accountability, trust, and relationships between authors and publishers. I will NOT make that mistake again. I can tell you that much. I also will never use Palmetto again, and if it sounds as if I am the problem, please let me remind anyone and everyone, that I am the one paying for the service. It really is my choice.

    Xlibris' project manager was great at getting me the discounts I wanted, and he promised me the Moon when it came to me being allowed to submit and resubmit my manuscript. I've been able to resubmit it several times, which is in and of itself GREAT, but also, I have been misled and flat misdirected on other issues, so, me sending my manuscript in one extra time for corrections isn't that big of a deal now, is it? Nope. Not in my eyes it's not.  The project manager promised me a LEVEL 3 illustration. I paid for it. I got a great discount, but I paid for a LEVEL 3. What I got was a cartoon coloring book illustration that was misdrawn and silly looking! It truly was a moronic thing on their part to think that ANY author, me included, would accept a cartoon coloring book illustration for a Highlander Romance novel. There are just some things even a 5th grader could understand...and it looked as if a 5th grader had drawn the cartoon! (Not going to lie, it was much better than I could have done.)

    After fighting over the cover not being an illustration since a more realistic and colored image would be out of the question for their artists who had not agreed to do the image for the price they quoted me, I ended up compromising my cover for their sake ONLY to be misled AGAIN by the team that puts things together. They told me to go to www.gettyimages.com and pick a photo. NO ONE told me it had to be a Royalty Free image. With Palmetto I had the option of using either; maybe I should NOT have assumed Xlibris was on the same playing field as Palmetto. As it turned out, the photo I chose was a paid image. The project manager did not tell me this, but the illustrator did. OK, it would have been great if they had mentioned it before I spent time looking for an image.

    Next, and this is HUGE, I was told by the illustrator to use a particular and very specific link, the link she sent me, to find an image on Getty Images. I did that. I looked and I found one. I sent it to her. The other lady, not my project manager but the one putting the book together, wrote to say it was also a paid image. WHAT? No, it's not. It clearly says "Royalty Free" on the side, and I took a Snip of it and sent it to her.  I may have also mentioned in all caps that I didn't appreciate being told to go to a specific link if it didn't have the images they could use. I have not heard back from them; I assume they are working on my book and will be that much happier to get rid of me as a client. No worries. The feeling is quite mutual.

    I really am not that hard to get along with. What I am is easy to deal with when you tell me the truth, when you do what you say you will do, and when you don't give me bad directions over and over again. I can't even get the project manager to call me back. He's too embarrassed! That is what the interior director told me. OK, so get over it, put in your time, and make your apologies. I guess in their culture it is best to just hide and never be seen again, but if they're going to work with Americans they need to understand we forgive people when they say they're sorry! We give two, three, four, and sometimes five chances. I draw the line at five really. I won't be using Xlibris in the future. 

    We will see if they use my image. I have asked them to manipulate the image if possible to raise the left side of the ruins. I hope they don't use a freaking pencil to do that! I wouldn't put it past them to try. Geez, Louise!

Photo Credit: GETTY IMAGES (Royalty Free) 

    

Books on Hold for Now (Future Books)

 I was released from a trading support position in late December with nothing to do and nowhere to go, I was paid a severance, so I decided to write a book. Now, because that's over, and I need to work, I've made another decision to get my Series 7 out of the way, then take the exam for Series 66 so I can focus on earning money in order to further promote my books. It sounds like a vicious cycle, and that's because it is.

    Most writers, most anyone, don't have $$$$ in the bank sufficient to let them just sit at home for months and years on end so they can perform, write, paint, play, or act. Most artists have to work for a living; which of course, is a really sad thing.  I am not special, in that I am not the end-all of writers. I offer that I can offer, and I do what I can do, but I know and recognize that I am a writer and not yet a fabulously wealthy and successful writer or author. I like the word "author" better anyway. I mean yeah, authors write, but I'm more of an author.  

    Because I can earn a living outside of prancing on the keyboard, I do.  I have a means and way of figuring things out for others, and I am pretty good at selling things too.  I have my license to teach. I have licenses to sell insurance (all lines) and I have a license to be a Property & Casualty Claims Adjuster as well. The thing I don't have yet but have wanted for a very long time is my certification in Finance for the Series 7 exam and the certification for my Series 66. These certs will allow me to not only sell stocks, bonds, variable products, etc., but they will also allow me to advise others on how they should proceed with their trading, purchasing, and more, for their retirement, income growth, and more....and more...and more. 

    My plan is pretty simple: I'll write books, sell stocks, trade currency for myself, and earn enough to promote my books. There is a tipping point at some point, where my books will earn more, and I can simply stop selling and work harder on trading for my own income growth and book promotions. It's a way down the road, but it is the road I'm currently on, so that's a good start. Some people do what I'm doing as a hobby after they retire.  I really have no intention of retiring. What's the need? I can travel and work. I can write and work. I can stop working and live off the trading, and I can focus on what is most important; going home! I'm looking forward to the Rapture; nothing else could keep me interested long enough to keep the hope going. I'm ready.

    If you don't understand finance you may want to stay clear of that world. It can swallow you. I danced around the edges long enough to know I want to dive into the pools so that's where I'm headed now. I have a few stop-loss floaters to take with me, so I'm good. Trust me when I say I'd rather be writing than selling, and I'd rather be trading than selling, but for a minute to go, I have to do both. It's all good. Nothing worth keeping isn't earned. My plans have plans. 

Photo Credit: awayhome.ca

PRIDE

 You know, I really hate it when a group of people takes a word or a thing that was once held in such high esteem, and they make it the mascot of something really ugly. No, I won't go into details with that one; but what I will say is that the word "Pride" could and should be used with a certain group because it is exactly what is keeping them in their trouble.  No, they don't see it as trouble, and that's the real problem. They are blinded by that pride. They are captured by it. They are enslaved to it. You can stand there and try to explain it to them until you turn blue; it won't change them. They are given over to their depravity, which is again, EXACTLY what the Bible said would happen to them.

    Pride is a terrible thing. We can be proud without being prideful. We can be happy that something or someone has accomplished something. We can be boastful to a degree that our kid has won this or that award. We can have pride in our kinship, and we can have pride in our appearance, but when we allow that pride to take over and be the subject of worship or too much admiration, we have been deceived by ourselves! We have allowed this deception, and we will no doubt become what the end result is when that happens. We are given into that depravity.  We are no longer useful in our capacity because of the pride we clung to. The cold pride, by the way; demands from us, but never satisfies.

    I am as guilty of this as anyone else, so I think maybe I have the right to discuss it. When we are so bent on being right, and we refuse to hear the opinions of others, we set ourselves up for failure. We could be right. It could be that we are 100% correct about a matter, but perception is real, and if the other person believes they are correct, we can at least listen to them, and try to either show them the truth, or acknowledge that they feel that way, that we (me) feel another way, and you know what, it's OK to disagree! We don't have to wave our flags and scream at each other; we can be on different sides of the issue and still remain friends and/or civil. 

    Pride, according to the Bible, (no better source) comes before a fall. We know this, even if we're not into reading the Word because people tend to quote that one passage if nothing else. Pride comes before mistakes. Pride comes before we suffer. Pride comes before we lose it all because we were just too proud to budge, bend, or behave correctly. When we allow such feelings of overt rigid thinking, we can become as useless and as worthless as the very person or thing we were standing against because we simply aren't good enough to have been the end-all in the first place. If our pride and our devotion aren't in Christ we have NO reason to boast and say we are anything more than the walking dead. We're on our way out as soon as we get on the planet! We're not ON this planet long enough to be so full of pride and self-love.  Again, I am speaking from experience. I have fallen over and over again, and no, it's not fun...in fact, it hurts.

    When we get it in our heads and in our hearts that someone is a liar, or someone is a jerk, simply because they disagree with us, we are the problem. When we get it in our heads that it's OK to talk about someone we disagree with, we are the problem. When or if we begin to believe the lies we tell ourselves about someone else simply because they are not our favorite person, we again are the problem. God knows this. We need to figure it out before our pride (yes, it's pride in ourselves) topples us and causes God to take away our blessings. It's really truly not worth losing a blessing over.  It would be CRAZY to lose a blessing just because you (I) decided to be nasty in our hearts and our heads about someone who really never hurt us, but we thought they did (somehow).  

    Can we agree to agree on that one?  I hope so.

Photo Credit: Pinterest.com

SEX!! (Do I Have Your Attention Now?) It Happens.

 I've always been a writer, even before I could write. That's not a funny statement either. I told stories before I could write them down, and to me, that's the same thing. I told stories and tales, but I wouldn't take credit for them because I knew they were made up, so I said my dog Rover told me things and I thought that would cover any and all strangeness attached to those tales and/or stories. I know, right? I know what you're thinking, "Jude, you really had a dog named Rover?"  Yes. Yes, I did.

    After I was aged about five and I was able to legibly write my own name, which was at the time, Judy Stringfellow, I was given my very own Metropolitan Library card, and I was allowed to check books out and bring them home with me. Again, at the time, no one told me that I was limited to only two books at a time. My mom OBVIOUSLY put the other dozen or so books I wanted on her account, and then as I read them I would walk them back to the library one at a time. I was five. The library was about one mile from my home down one road; Mueller.  I was five!  You can't do that in 2023, folks. Kids would never walk their books back, would they? NOPE!

    I'm still writing, and I'm writing more now than I ever have. I write in my journal every day and go through a 250-page journal every six weeks. How many books have I actually written? Geez!  I have written five or six that have been published, and several more that have not. I have this one book, that I wrote in the '80s that is really nothing more than a trashy sexual experiment of erotica texts and prose; no you can't read it, it even makes me blush. I wrote it in the same style as I would a journal, just one sordid story after another, and my friends and I would read a passage or two when we had drinking nights -- except yeah, I didn't really drink. I was the designated driver; so there's that. 

    During "Pyrate Nights" or nights when the girls would literally swing from the rafters, the poles, or any apparatus we could find (monkey bars at the local school) the girls and I would write these types of sexual tales with the sole purpose of making the others blush and/or spit their drinks out of their mouth; it was a true challenge of which I have to admit, I took things very seriously. I wanted to win. It was sort of, somewhat, a wee bit, in this vein of thought that I decided to spice up my first romance novel.  I did go a bit far, yes, I'll admit it. I did cross a line or two, but in all fairness, it was a fantasy of the fictional character, not a reality, and therefore I think maybe I'm given some sort of leniency. I also pre-empted myself and confessed to my mother that I wrote it and that I was publishing it, but I also dedicated the book to her, so there's another brownie point -- maybe!

     OK, but as a Christian, you may ask, how can you (I) write such things and not feel the least bit guilty for it? Well, let's discuss that for a second. You're here, I'm here, and people had sex to make that happen. No. Don't argue with me. Your parents had sex, and my parents had sex. We were born, and we learned to read and we learned to write, but we also learned about sex. We learned when to have it, who to have it with, what the ins and outs (no, I didn't just say that sorry) about sex is, and we learned that sex is not always kept neat and tidy in its little box. If you're having sex in a little box, I can tell you right now, it won't be neat, and it won't be tidy. We are not non-sexual beings. God made us humans. We are to be responsible with our bodies, and yes, with our minds. I'll admit my shortcomings (no, I won't pun that one); He knows me.  I don't have sex with anyone except my brain....which often causes my face to smile. 

    This month I will celebrate (that's not the best word choice) the 24th anniversary of my chosen celibacy. I choose not to be actively sexual with my body; I still exercise and activate my mind.  Apparently, I activate and exercise my keyboard as well, and that's not a bad thing. I think we all think, and I know we all know. The ONLY reason I'm celibate is I'm not with someone. I'm not with someone because I choose not to be, and I choose not to be because the choices are really just not that pleasing to me. I watch. I observe. I witness. I investigate. I don't like what I see or find. I would much prefer to be single, alone, happily not engaging if engaging means I would have to put up with what I see, hear, find, witness, and observe.

   I've said it before and I'll say it again. If GOD and GOD alone wants me to be a wife I'll be a wife. I won't date anyone. I will not date anyone at all. I may marry someone, but I will not put myself through the whole "getting to know you" process and then realize that I would really rather not have put myself through that process. Nope. If God wants me to be a wife, He will make it happen. He will choose the man. He will put it together. He will line it up and cause it to be; until then, I'm counting the days until we just all go home. I'm so tired of the way people treat other people; especially the ones they SWORE to love, honor, cherish, and be faithful to. I can't stress that enough. God knows. If HE wants me to be married, HE will have to do the heavy lifting! 

    Sex takes place in my new book; c'mon, it's a romance novel. It goes without saying that sex takes place in the book. I'm mentioning it because my mom will want a copy, and my sisters, my brother, my nieces, and my nephews too. My kids of course will want copies, but so will their friends, cousins, neighbors, co-workers, etc, and then there's my preacher...yeah, he needs to know I sin in my head. I'll text him and tell him, but he probably figured it out already.  I'm pre-empting again because when they pick up the book for the first time and start off reading the very first chapter they may see steam coming out of their eyes and nose before they get to the fourth or fifth page...OH MY GOODNESS!  She said THAT!!!!  (Yes, I did, Rover did not mention these things to me...ever.)

    Why did I do that? Why would I go that far, too far, and hope it would be OK? I guess because we all think it. I've always been that girl who says what she thinks, and even when people stare wide-eyed at me with their jaws on the ground, I'm the one saying "You know you thought it too, I just said it".  It's sort of always been that way. We have different personalities and believe me when I say that I'm not overly sexual with my friends and family, I'm really not. I have to have a pen in my hand before I really get gritty; not that I have sex while I'm holding a pen, that could possibly be dangerous. 

    I hope you enjoy the book - - my realtor told me she had to read the first chapter a couple of times before moving on to the second chapter. That told me all I needed to know. The book may sell a few copies. I hope so.  I want to buy that flat in Edinburgh...and write the sequel. 

Photo Credit: Aliexpress.com

My Opinion. Doesn't Have to Be YOUR Opinion.

 I have friends and family, sometimes just people I meet, who say things like, "You shouldn't think that way" or maybe they'll phrase it differently, they'll say, "Well, that's not right, you can't possibly believe that."  I know they mean well, I do. I think they want me to have the best the world has to offer, etc., but the thing is, I am the only me I can be, and no matter how long we are left on this planet, my opinions will always be MINE and I don't mind sharing them, but you can't force them out of me just because we disagree. I try really really hard not to sound the same as they do, not to commit the very folly I find them distributing so freely. I try to be open, and I try to be understanding. If it goes against GOD then we may have an issue; but the issue is I won't agree ever and we'll just have to agree to disagree.  God is always right.

    Let me give you a few examples so you'll know exactly how very crazy I am.  There are gifted people in this world who are either musicians, artists, writers, singers, etc, and in their very essence they are incapable of being clerks, doctors, lawyers, engineers, or anything resembling anything other than who and what they are. There may be a talented engineer who also plays piano, but he or she is capable of making a living as an engineer, whereas the artist may or may not be. He or she is true to his or her own craft and if they make a living they make a living, but if they don't we need to help them. OK, there is it...I just said WE need to help them. Most, if not all of my friends and family, and yes, those randoms on the street, will say to me, "No, we don't have to help them, they can get off their ass and get a job."  This is where we differ. I don't believe these souls can actually function in those other capacities other than who and what they are. They are rare. They are few. We can help them, so we can continue to benefit from their God-given talents.

    I'm not talking about the people who are both talented and capable of taking on other jobs. I'm ONLY talking about those who are ONLY capable of performing and working within the confines of their mental and spiritual genius. It could be one reason God created Patreon and other platforms.  You've all seen these types and several have shunned them for not "pulling their weight", to which I question, "Can you, the hater, also play as wonderfully? Can you bring peace through your vocals? Can you paint to the point that we see visions on canvas and not just color?"  When a man or a woman meets, falls in love with, and then subsequently marries one of these/those people, it doesn't take too long before the bread gets thinner and the spouse begins squashing the dreams and means of the artist to get them to subject themselves to physical and/or intense mental stress for the purpose of bringing a buck into the house to pay a bill.  Here's a thought: YOU KNEW they were a musician. You KNEW they were a writer. YOU KNEW before you married them that you may or may not see $$$ coming into the bank account, stop pretending that a swan can be a goose or a duck! Love the one you loved the way you are supposed to love them. FREELY.

    If the musician, artist, writer, etc., can make money for themselves or the family, that's great, but if they are one of these rare and unique beings who absolutely can't be subjected to forced labor without killing their spirit, STOP forcing them to do so, and just support them. YOU DID PROMISE to do that. You did make that oath. You did give your word. YOU DID SWEAR TO THE ALMIGHTY through your vows that you would CHERISH and you're not cherishing anyone when you force them to be what they are not, or cannot become. Let them strum. Let them think. Let them play the keyboards, ENJOY!! You have a gift and a present like very few others have. That person can probably keep the house clean for you, he or she can watch the kids. They probably have no issues shopping for groceries, or perhaps making dinner. Talk about it before you sign the dotted line, that's all I'm saying.

    If there were millions of these types it may be different. They are like the golden eggs being laid by that one magical goose that came by now and again, but we can't capture it either, and we can't force it to lay another egg just like the last one. They are all so very very different. They are all so very very precious. If someone in this position abuses his or her position, then he or she is NOT actually that soul. I believe, and again, it is my opinion, that the true artist is on loan from Heaven to fulfill a purpose and we have an obligation to assist them so they can be in line with what God has in store, and we will be blessed not only for helping but because we are probably going to hear them, see them, admire their work, etc. If we squash their energy we cut off our noses to spite our faces! We lose, they lose, and the world loses. LET THEM PLAY!  Money is not the end-all.

    I'm not capable at this time to host someone like this really. I will be someday maybe soon, but not today. I thank God every day for the talent and the gifts He gives to others who both entertain me and bless me. I see it, I hear it, I feel it, I am moved by it. To think that others would purposely shut that down so the person can work at a grocery store as a clerk, or as a crossing guard for minimum wage; thrusting their talents into the sewer as well as creating mental angst...it's repulsive. YOU KNEW IT when you met them; you had to. They were probably holding a guitar, a pen, or a paintbrush, and they were no doubt showcasing their latest discovery or project. YOU KNEW.   The problem isn't money really, it's love. If I read my Bible correctly, it says if I delight myself in God HE will give me the desires of my heart. If that's correct, and I have a musician or an artist in my arms, I'm going to let them seek and do exactly what God wants them to do, this both allows them and me to please God. God will provide the rest.

    The problem that come up in these sorts of relationships, and in many relationships, is that one or the other person tries to live outside of their means. Then they expect and force the other person to keep up with their idiot decisions; forcing the couple into fights and upheaval.  Don't live outside your means. Don't have a champagne style on a beer budget. Be frugal, save, think, and if you can't do that with the gifted person, give up the gifted person to someone who will love them and keep them, care for them, help them, and watch them please God. If the person is NOT pleasing God, not doing what he or she is supposed to do with their talents, that's not what I'm talking about.  I am talking ONLY about those people who have been called by God, and given the talent by God to please Him. Let them. Be their wind so they can fly. Watch them. It's amazing. It's simply amazing.

    Yes, I may be crazy, but I'm a very happy crazy.

Photo Credit: merriammusic.com

Cover Underway. (We Compromised)

 There's something to be said about a good compromise as long as you don't shame yourself or God. If coming to a mutual agreement will help make things better, smooth over feelings, and get the ball rolling, there's nothing wrong with having that discussion.  It's not about "being the bigger person" it's about making things happen. I could have stood my ground, stomped my feet, cried "I PAID FOR THAT" and been the bitchy client, but instead, it just made sense to offer a solution I can live with, that will make the publishing efforts move forward.  So I did. 

    My book "Of Kilted Pleasure" is being published by Xlibris. This is probably the last book I'll ever publish with Xlibris, it's been a roller coaster, and no one should have to put up with that. I say it's my last, but to be honest, I'm not sure I won't use them again; since we worked out the kinks. It just depends on what I think I want in a publisher. I want someone who will send my books to places where they will be seen. I think Outskirts may be a better choice. We'll see.

    What I decided to do was to offer Xlibris an out so they could both save face and my time. I paid a reduced fee for the Level 3 illustration, but the illustrator was not happy about that. I was given the reduced fee by the project manager. He hadn't run it past the illustrator, and when she sent me a cartoon coloring book rendition of what I wanted my cover to look like, I about hit the roof!!  The first design graphics person said we would use a photo and superimpose my name and the title over the photo; that was OK, but that's not what I wanted. I wanted the whole man holding the woman, and they're being all sexy-like, but that's not going to happen without models and I can't afford that.  The thing is, I paid for the Level 3 service, with or without a discount, and that's what I should expect; but it wasn't going to happen without a long and drawn-out fight.

    I went online and looked up several books and decided that my book will be just fine with a photo on the front cover and my name and the title of the book being overly large and obnoxious. Why not? When in Rome, right? So, I did what all authors in my situation do, I compromised and I made it perfectly clear that I will be 100% satisfied with the cover and I expect them to get it right so I don't have to fight over the details. They agreed to make their best efforts. They've been really nice to me, letting me write, rewrite, submit, and repeat the manuscript, without charging me, so this will be a good thing. I think it will work out.

    I went back to Getty Images and I found the cover shot. I have asked them to digitally remove the tower part of the ruins, as my ruins in the book don't have a tower, and we'll see if they can do that without fudging up the photo. I think they can. It's romantic, mysterious, and all that. We'll see if it will be a good cover. I think it will be. I chose electric metallic blue for the color of the letters and different fonts for the author's name and the title. My name will be on top, the title on the bottom, and the title will be scriptish and lacy, where my name will be subtle and stated. My first name over my last. It will happen soon, and I'll post it. For now, I'll just say we're in the middle of the compromise and I think they're going for it.  It wouldn't make sense not to.

Viva la communication!!

Photo Credit:  GETTY IMAGES