Jude Stringfellow's Blog, page 54

The Book is WRITTEN!!

 Of Kilted Pleasure is written. It is for the most part finished. I will now, having just canonized it and formatting it in terms of double-spacing the manuscript,  justifying the sides, and changing the font to size 14 so I can easily read it and make changes, tweak it.  I went to two separate places to have it printed out because I didn't want to use my personal printer and ink.  I decided to come right back home and do just that after FedEx/Kinkos was going to charge $49.71 and the UPS Store was going to charge $29.14.  Crazies!  I'm not about to pay that sort of highway robbery for 275 pages. Both prices above were on the assumption of double-sided printing. WHAT? Seriously, I can print the 275 pages on one side of a piece of paper through my own printer and use about 1/2 of a cartridge of ink which will be about $9.00 max. Who do these people think they are? Who do they think we are? It's amazing.

    Anyway, the net numbers for now, before I rewrite it are:  65,877 words, 273 pages, and God only knows how many errors.  I'll need to go through the manuscript and reformat taking out the quoted dialogue and placing it under the text so that people can see that there is a conversation going on.  This will add to the number of pages and the fact that I will choose size 12 font rather than the typical 11 will also add a few pages to the overall book. It should be about the same size as a John Grisham or James Patterson book. I haven't really checked out other writers to see what size books they have since I've been using my Kindle. I really should do that. I'll go tomorrow and pick up a sleazy Highland Romance book that has been a good seller and I can use it as a tool or guide for some formatting. I like to use the work of successful authors when I do these things. Makes sense.

    I have stacks of notes I need to write up rather than leaving them in their handwritten form as they are now. I could easily misplace them if they're not typed up and filed away as "notes".  I always have difficulty doing the notes from my chicken scratch handwritten notes. I can't read what I wrote most of the time and I end up either turning it on its side or tilting my head back and forth before giving the paper to my kid to ask her to decipher it. She's usually pretty good at making out some of the words, then I can put the bits and pieces together to figure out what it was that I wanted to say or at least not forget.

    Having celebrated writing the two words "The End" on the last page, I went to Whataburger for a big fat grilled chicken sandwich, some fries, and an enormously too-large unsweetened iced tea. I figured I deserved it. I also used the occasion to bribe Laura to pull the printer out from the closet, set it up, and have it ready for my use later on this evening or maybe tomorrow. I'm glad she'll work for a chicken sandwich meal from Whataburger or Braums. I really am blessed when you think about it, and yes, I do think about it.   I wrote the words "The End" and then thought "Oh my GOSH...I really finished it."  Except yeah, now I have to go through it, but it's done. I mean, it's done almost, but it's done.

    I have to put fillers in here and there, things like "a trilling blue bird sat high upon his perch calling for his would-be spring mate" and things like that. I have to better or more fully describe each character when they are introduced. I need to add substance and color to the more vague overviews that are scattered throughout the pages. I'll lengthen the reel dance to include a bit of explanation of what it is, when it started, etc. I need to go through and change words if I used them too often, or if I think a synonym will be a better choice. I have a lot of foo-foo words threaded through the book intentionally to make the reader ask "OK, I should know what that word means...what does it mean?" Then they go look it up and think, "Oh OK, yeah, I was right."  There are Scottish words such as "loan" which refers to a "lane" and I say so. Much like the word "loch" is used for the word "lake", and so forth.

    Done!  Ewan is moving to Edinburgh now, awaiting the arrival of Aria, and they will make theirs a new life together with hope and love in the forefront. They deserve it. They really do. (1745 was an incredibly hard year)  I'll take the weekend to do the adjusting and by Monday I should have the book ready to send to the publisher. I won't send it Monday if it's not ready, but it should be ready. When I do send it off I have a couple of rounds of corrections I can make, which is great. I think I'll wait two weeks actually before I send it off so I can wait a while, re-read it, and make more necessary changes. It's really hard to make your own corrections, let me just say that. You don't tend to find your own mistakes. I often overlook my own mistakes the first read-through, only to find them the 2nd or 3rd. If I haven't found them by the 3rd read-through, I tend to send the book off to the publisher. Then a month later when the publisher sends it back to me...I see more. UGH!! Such is the life of an author.

But I love it.

Photo Credit: Sojournintoexile.com 

ONE MORE to GO!!!

 I have successfully finished the first writing of the next to the last chapter in the book. I have ONE more chapter to write tomorrow, maybe two, I could be persuaded to do two. I know me, I'll get in there and think I should say this, or I should say that. I will work on these issues I have, but I know it won't change. I'm a clinger. I don't want my characters to stop talking to me once they take flight. They're just always with me, and they become my friends. We have shared so many bags of four-cheese popcorn in the creation of this book. I feel as if I should invite these people to my next Thanksgiving gathering since we're more like family than my own family - - but you know, they're 18th Century Highlanders who have never really been into American traditions. It may be that I have to settle with just giving them another chance to thrive in another book down the road. 

    One more chapter. Dang. There will be no more killing. No more dying. No more wars, and of course, there will be more lovemaking. I have one last sex scene to write, and though it won't be as exciting or boisterous as the previous sessions, it will be tender, loving, and meaningful. I'm sure the two people doing all the groping will be excited to see that they are given yet another chance to twist in the sheets, but unlike the strange and unco practice of witnessing a marriage confirmation, they will have no idea that millions of eyes will be reading about every single detail of their personal exchanges. They'll still be able to hold their heads up high in their fictional society, as there will be no mention of their bedroom antics in their fictional neighborhood, townships, or larger cities. Their nuptials will be announced in the papers of course, as will the birth of their first child. Theirs will be a very cozy and comfortable life together, and no two kids deserve it more than Aria and Ewan Hastings. Believe me when I say that.

    Wow.  Just one month ago I started the book. Let me get the exact date, hold on, oh wow again, it was just January 12!  This is the 31st and I'll finish the book entirely tomorrow, so yeah, 20 days for the first writing. I'll take another 3 days probably to tweak, fluff, stuff, and canonize it. I'll then submit it for the first editing and BAM! We'll have a ready-made full of life exciting novel to pass out or sell in about 90 days.  Woot!!  I'm happy. Are you happy?  I paid for the production of it today and will be sending off the instructions and ideas for the cover art tomorrow and/or Thursday. Things should be pretty hot and heated for the first few weeks as I make corrections, and additions, take things out and agree to the formatting, the font, the sizes I want for the finished product, as well as the online agreements with Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and other e-readers. Again...YEA and WOOT!  

    If you haven't written a book I encourage you to do it. I don't know that I would encourage you to put it all together in a month, but hey, I'm getting to the point where I think I can do this on a regular basis. I have stories whirling and swirling in my brain. I need to do a brain dump and get them on the shelves to be purchased and loved. I prefer reading my books now on the Kindle, and since they're generally much less expensive, I'll never go back to the hardcovers or the paperbacks again. NOPE....that's just me. You may still like holding the physical book. I don't. They take up space and I don't read them more than once or twice ever. 

    Have a GREAT one, and I'll catch you up once I finish the book tomorrow and start the finalizing of it.  Have I said "Woot" yet?  Woot!

Photo Credit: wikigallery.com  (Portrait of a Young Girl Holding Flowers)

IT IS OFFICIAL....I Have a Publisher for the Book.

 Many years ago I wrote a book titled "With a Little Faith".  It was in fact my first book, and though I can't say today that I like the book, I don't hate it either. I made so many mistakes it's pathetic. I didn't know squat from squit when it come to what I was supposed to do; my submission representative was not experienced in her job either, so she couldn't give me any direction. I didn't know how she was supposed to handle the project so I just assumed that it was going as planned or expected. OH MY GOODNESS, the book sucked. I made errors upon errors. I counted I think close to 70 either misspelled words, comma needs, and no-needs, and then there was the run-on sentences from HELL. This book, content-wise was also lacking. I was so angry at the time I wrote it that the book appears to be more or less a husband-bashing book. I could call it that and probably sell more copies.  After the first two editions of me pulling it, rewriting it, reformatting it, and just overhauling it completely, I just stopped publication entirely on the damn thing. I won't savage it, it is what it is, which is trash, but I own it. It's mine.

    I went through Xlibris Publishing when I wrote my first three books. I was still, believe it or not, after several experiences, not that good at figuring out what it was that I'm supposed to say or do when it comes to publishing. I guess I was just under the guise of thinking you hand over the manuscripts, pay your fees, and then cross your fingers. NOPE...you need to be on top of every tiny detail, because if you are not, they will fill in the blanks for you, and you'll have crap to promote. That's what I had with the first three books I wrote.  I will say this, I did manage to have all three of those books printed in other languages, so there's that, but I will not make the same rookie and/or sophomoric mistakes I made the first several times. I am with Xlibris again, but this time I'm the one calling the shots. 

    I went with the more marketable package which for new authors can cost around $2500.00, but because I have been with the publisher at least three times, I was able to negotiate the same custom package for $1200.00 and I'll receive the same quality and service as anyone would who pay the higher costs. Here's a thought, if you're going to go through Xlibris, find Sid Wilson, and tell him I sent you. Ask for the custom package at my discount and see if he'll do it for you. It means he'll lose a bit in commissions, but he's a really good sale rep and does this so often he may be able to wing that for you. It's worth a shot. If he can't do it, at least you tried.

    I signed the contract today, paid the fees, and now I'm over here going through the paperwork trying to come up with a "teaser" for the book. I have to write about 150 words describing what takes place. It's like drinking from the proverbial firehose! You can't condense a 400-page book into 150 words all that easily other than to start off with "Where there's love there's a way" which I guess is the motto of every romance book, right? I mean, one would think so. There are historic settings and events, and there are sex scenes and fights. There is a murder, a cover-up, a few trips back and forth between two major cities, and of course, there are men in and out of their kilts. You can't have a Highland romance book without that!

    I will say I was a bit bummed to find out there wasn't a category in their genre selection for "Highland Historical Romance". I will have to call it a Fiction/Fantasy book. I didn't want to. I still don't want to. I'm not going to. It's a Highland Historical Romance book! You've got your Highlands, you've got your history, and you've certainly got your romance.  Fun times. I have three more chapters to write and then I can fluff, stuff, format, rewrite, add, and tweak it, but then I'm turning over the manuscript and leading the entire project step by step. I'm not about to cross my fingers and hope for the best on this one. NO WAY. It's going to be a very picky picky process and if the good folks at Xlibris don't like that, (which they will) I won't give them the next several books I plan on writing in 2023.  I'm a busy busy girl, I can tell you that.

    That's it. I just wanted you to know that I choose a publisher. I'm working part-time at a really fun job that I can do from home so that I can write at least one chapter a day on whatever project I'm writing. If there are about 330 more days left in the year and I'm writing about one chapter a night, taking off maybe 20 days in the year, that's 300-310 chapters, and each book has about 30-33 chapters so yeah, I'm looking at 9-12 books this year. CRAZY!!  Let's see there's this book, the Murder Book, the follow-up to this book, the follow-up to the Murder Book, the 2nd and 3rd Blog Books, another Poetry book (they never sell, it's just so I can be really cool after I die) and then I'll have the humor novel 1211, as well as maybe a third romance book that I think I could squeeze out of just using the over of abundance notes I took on this book and then didn't use the notes I came up with. I overdo it. I always do. I'm an overdoer.

    Have a great weeeeeeeek.  BYE!!

Photo Credit: Stephen Holman - Tulsa World.

(My kids were so adorable in 2005, huh?)

Chapters 25 and 26 - - OMG...Done.

 When I write the books I use the Georgia font and the size is 12. Then, when I canonize the book and make changes I use double spacing and enlarge the font size to 14. I do this to make it really easy on myself when I'm going through the book's pages to find the needed changes, mistakes, corrections, faux-paux, oops, and you know, the parts I don't like. I also do it so I'll have room to write notes in between the lines. I actually pull out the ballpoint pen for this. In fact, when I'm actually creating the book I use paper and pen throughout the entire process. I'm constantly writing notes and crossing through the notes as I use them in the book. If I don't use one or more of the notes I write out, I just leave it or circle it to remind me to reconsider. If I don't ever use the note I transfer that note to the next book's notebook (each book has its own notebook of notes) and I start over again....easy peasy.

    So today, I wrote the 25th and the 26th chapters of the book. I can look ahead and see that there will be three more to go. I have the next filler chapter which is #27, in it I will give up time, seasons, and such, as the two main characters spend time embracing and consoling one another. There will be no need to detail all the conversations, but I will allude to the responses of what took place in the two previous chapters as there are some life-changing events that can't be simply swept under the rug. They must be clarified so the readers don't think me heartless. NEXT....lol.

    Empathy and sympathy are not my strong points. I have a condition that many of you are aware of. I suffer from being "on the spectrum" which if you think about it, we are all on it which is why it's called a spectrum. I'm a bit, not much, but a bit incapable at times to show what some would deem as being an appropriate response to life events such as death, sickness, loss of life for friends, and such. I see death in a much different way than most do. I actually accept it faster and more fully when it happens to someone I know because I generally know that the person is now without pain, and he or she is in the arms of a loving Savior, and he or she will be at rest until He returns.  This being said, I had to stop myself from cutting the chapter too short after killing off one of the characters. I needed to remember, and I did, that other characters will grieve and need that time to be seen doing so (by the reader).  It's a very key part of writing, and the one I struggle with the most.

    As I now can clearly see the light at the end of the tunnel, as they say, and I know the book is coming to its natural end, I am actually welling up inside a bit. I don't want the two lovers to stop loving of course, and I want the families of the dwellers in the villages to recover from the devastation of the war. I want the houses to be rebuilt, and I want the animals to reproduce. I'm over here thinking "OK, what can I do to make this book close out with a good ending, one that will satisfy each reader?"  I know the way it ends and I love it, personally, I hope everyone else does.  I can't give it away, but there is a scene at the end where a certain singer and songwriter is rescued by an apparition....think ghosties and imagined friends.  We all know they don't really exist, but when someone really does believe that they exist the appearance of what seems to be one can be quite compelling!

    I have three more chapters to go. I don't think there will be four, but if there is I'll be sure and let you know.  Until then, think good thoughts for the seafaring minstrel who would rather not be out to sea!!  (Spoiler alert:  He survives)

Photo Credit:  Pinterest.com

Chapter 24 is Wonderful.

 As you know, or should know by now, I'm writing a book that takes place in the 1740s in the area just shy of the Western Highlands and also in and around the Lowlands of Mid Lothian. I probably won't make it over to Stirling in this book, but I am so excited about the book and the way it may be received, that I've decided to write another book that will include the Hebrides, Stirling, Perthshire, and Fife....and yeah, Edinburgh, because Edinburgh is the center of life you know. (again, maybe you didn't know, but you should know that by now.) 

    Chapter 24 found Ewan and Aria staring at each other separated by about 50 feet on top of the hill where they have spent so many hours together in years past in a sort of secret comradery that could have been absolutely misconstrued by a few; by a lot really. I was actually laughing at myself today as I went through the notes I had created for each chapter to find that I have eliminated this or that from the whole book and now that I have this or that in my notes I can now save those ideas, change the names of the characters, put them in different settings, and BAM! I have another book. My notes have notes people. My plans have always had plans. The only thing I really don't plan out when I write is/are these blogs. Truth. Everything else has to be picked apart and put together in a strange and mysterious fashion that is only known to me....and yeah, sometimes I don't even know what's going on. My top secretness is that secret...I'm not even privy to it sometimes.

    Chapter 24 is done. I'll start 25 tomorrow, and may only be able to do a chapter a day for the next week as I'm working some as well. Work.... just gets in the way you know. Why can't I already be a wealthy successful author? I have no idea. It's not fair, but it is what I'm dealing with, so I'll continue to trudge along. I've decided to try and write at least one chapter of something every single day, that way by the end of the year, allowing myself to have a few days off, I'll have about 350 chapters, which can be 10 books or close to it. I'm pretty sure I can come up with great ideas to make it happen. I have six in mind now, so over the next few months those six will be carved out of my head, and believe me, as I do the carving I'll drop a chunk here and there and pick those chunks up and say "Hey, I can rewrite this, change the names, the dates, the places...and BAM!" You guessed it...another book.

    Life is fun. Life is full. Life is amazing. Give God the Glory and pass the biscuits!

Photo Credit: Archanaskitchen.com

Chapters 22 & 23...Written. (Psst...She's Pregnant!)

 OMG...spoiler alert, there's going to be a baby!!  Tara Hastings has just informed her husband Ewan that they are going to welcome their first child in the latter part of the next spring!! I won't tell you now if it's a boy or a girl. I won't tell you what happens. I just can't believe that Ewan married Tara and not Aria!! WHAT happened there? OMG...I am sooooooo shocked. (Not really, I mean, I wrote it so I know what happened.)

    It's so much fun to sit here at the keyboard and think to myself "Do I want to say this"  or "What should happen next?"  What I think is really kind of funny is that I created a few too many characters some of which I didn't get a chance to use, so I'll have to backburner them and put them into the next book or the next one after that. I can change their years, clothes, looks, whatever I need to do. It's MY book!! I'm having too much fun with this one. I know it's about to end and that thought has me thinking about the filling out, the fluff and stuffing, and of course the tweaking. I so tweak. I can guarantee the tweak. 

    Before long, maybe by this time next week actually, I'll have finished the book in its entirety. I'll have managed to put all the chapters (should be 30) into one file. I'll then do a select-all command and change the font size to 14, give myself double spacing between lines, and I'll shore up the sides as well.  I'll need to take out all the quoted conversations and/or dialogue and give them the proper formatting. I have to see what other books look like, then do it, because I was completely wrong in how I managed it in the past. I think both ways are technically acceptable, but I like to be consistent with formatting my books (now) with books that have been sold successfully in the past by other authors. This way I can say I know it's been formatted in a successful manner. 

    Once I canonize, double-space, justify and enlarge the font, I'll have about 400 or so pages to work with. I'll print it out (double-sided) and begin crossing out passages I hate, adding passages to replace the ones I hate, and adding fluff to the various paragraphs which will create a world of animation and/or vivid imagery for my readers. It's part of the writing process known as rewriting, and I do that very well. What I do is read a line, mark it, then look at my notes and decide which passage or phrase would sound good here or there, and I add it. I read it again, and I work it again. Once I'm happy with it, I scratch out that particular note so I know I used it. If I don't use it I circle it and come back to it. I've been making notes for years about what I want to say in a book. I have a fat book of notes I can use, to be honest with you. If you read the notes as a book it would resemble Lewis Carroll's Jabberwocky for sure.

    That's it. Chapters 22 and 23 are done, and tomorrow the Hastings will be just as pregnant as they are today, but things get dicey fast....an old flame of Ewan's reappears, and he is thrown for a mental and emotional loop not to mention what the discovery does to him physically! Oh...I may not be able to sleep tonight knowing our hero is about to become unraveled. (Spoiler alert: He'll survive)

Photo Credit: Clipartmag.com

Chapter 21 - - Done.

 I know I don't have to write or report (blog) every day on the progress of the book but I thought I would since I have been doing so; it only makes sense. I'm done now with Chapter 21, but then again, even as I was finishing it I knew I would need to go back and flesh it out a bit. There is a scene that takes place at the theatre off Carruber's Close and where it will be overtly dramatic and even mind-blowing, I haven't really demonstrated that yet. I sort of allude to it. I need to bring the colors out, I need to show the actors who have been displayed completely nude except for the strategically placed darker paints which each body has been covered from head to toe. It's not as if the Scottish people, and especially those in the Highlands are new to being exposed and painted, but this is a play!! WHAT? Whoa!!  (she went there)

    This chapter is a fun chapter and was only written to showcase my appreciation to Michael Givens and his wife Jedelle for being such wonderful people. I do mention Alan Williams in it as well, he'll be the subdued and composed composer and master conductor for the orchestra that travels throughout Europe with Givens and the play he's written and is now directing.  It's a really good play actually, and maybe I'll get around to writing it. Who knows!?

    Well, anyway, it's what I did today as well as balancing two very different and very interesting job opportunities which seemingly fell into my lap overnight. I'm now working with a great company to help merchants eliminate their credit card processing debt and at the same time, I am helping other types of clients for an insurance company to arrange and manage their retirement funds and wealth portfolios.  I devote a few hours a day to each and I have time to write, read, journal, pray, hang out, and walk the dog.  All of these things I did today in my jammies. I think I did change into regular clothes for a few minutes while I ran an errand and went to the grocery store, but once back home it was jammie time.

    I had a great time researching the theatre, enlightenment, audience responses to new things being displayed in traditional venues, and the history of the Jacobites and those who opposed them.  This was a learning day.

Photo Credit: Designindaba.com

Here's a Thought: Be Considerate.

 Do what you say you will do. If I had to choose a mantra it would be one that I borrow from Jesus, it would be, "Let your yes be yes, and your no be no."  It's really simple people; if you can't keep your promise to call someone back, or respond to an email, just text them really quick and say so. Just be the person for them that you would appreciate if the tables were turned. I'm only saying this because I am forever and a day being the one who has to either "take the high road" or "be patient" with others who just can't get it through their heads that being on time, doing what you're supposed to do, saying what is appropriate to say, and you know, DOING YOUR JOB the way it was intended...is the right thing to do. EVERY TIME, not just whenever it suits you. 

    For so many generations below that of the one I was born in, being on time seems to be a guideline rather than a requirement. The clocks don't stop just because a person isn't utilizing their time in the best way possible. I have a friend, no wait, I have three friends who just can't seem to be where they are supposed to be at the time agreed because they get distracted or allow themselves to be distracted by the simplest of things. I say it all the time, if I'm late, call the police. I am most likely dead. I think I could count on one hand how many times in my adult life that I have been late for whatever it was that I'm supposed to be doing. One hand in over 40 years. We are all given the very same 24 hours in a day. CHANGE your habits if it is in fact your habits that are causing you to be chronically late. Don't say 8:00 a.m. if you mean 8:20 a.m. It's both rude and inconsiderate. There, I said it....again.

    I accepted a position once where the boss would say "I'll call you right after this meeting" or "I'll call you right after lunch".  Several hours would pass before he got around to making the call. I would usually say something to the effect of "You know, I want your job Boss. You take five-hour lunches! Sign me up for that."  You know he wasn't trying to be negligent, but time just got away from him. HOLD ON TO TIME folks. Make it your bitch, you remain in control if you have half a hope of being the one who can be relied upon. He knew if I said I'll call you in 10 minutes that I'm calling in 9 minutes. Don't go to the bathroom at the last minute if you expect me to call because I will call you if I said I would. If I am going to be one freaking minute late I'll text to let you know it. 

    I have three children. One is like me.  Thank you, Reuben. He gets it. Laura will be late to her own whatever, she's never on time. When I watch or observe her and I point out where it was that she went sideways her answer is usually "Yeah, I didn't mean to do that." You may not MEAN to, but you do it over and over. It's a habit. It's just exactly what it is, and you do have control over it; one way or the other. You make choices to be who and what you will be. Caity, on the other hand, is predictable. She will be there at exactly the moment she said, not a minute early, but if you're a minute late she'll let you know. Laura is flexible on your time as well as her time, and Reuben and I have usually walked away after being stood up, but we remember it, and we remind you the next time that you left us hanging. 

    It's not only about time either. If you say you're going to pray for someone, pray for them. If you say you're going to take someone somewhere, do it. If you say you're going to support someone through this or that program, do that. If you can't make it, do it, or follow through, there may very well be a reason, but be considerate folks, and let the other person(s) know before it becomes a problem -- when you can. A great deal of people will literally pay $$$$ to life coaches who say the same things I'm saying right now. You have a choice and how you approach that choice-making is again another choice. YOU can be the person you need to be if YOU make a decision to be the person YOU are supposed to be. I can't do that for you. I won't charge you anything for this lesson; it's a gimme.

    One more thing before I go. If you have kids start them out young, very very young in fact, teaching them that gratitude is of utmost importance as well as being considerate. Tolerance is good, but so is standing your ground. It's OK to make a point and allow others to make theirs. We don't have to agree with each other, but respecting each other is paramount. OK....I'm done. If you feel the need to share this post or the context of it, please do. More people need to be made aware that being considerate is a good thing. It's a REALLY good thing.

Photo Credit: www.1-800-4clocks.com  

Chapters 19 & 20 Are Completed (Round 1)

 So, by now, if you're reading the blogs you can see that I'm cranking out about a chapter (and sometimes two) a day. I've decided to do that for the next 12 months actually, as I have a few books I need to crank out -- as it were. I have two blog books to put together, they've been "written" but I need to canonize them, format them, and just get them in the queue so they can be published. I have the Murder Book, 1211, the second Murder Book, the second Highland Romance, then there's a book I've been wanting to write for more than 30 years actually, that will be put together in the middle somewhere. It's a book about families and generations of families and their changes, challenges, differences, and traditions. It's a Hallmark movie if ever there was one.

    This book, the first Highland Romance book, which I'm calling a Highland Historical Romance due to the fact that I have facts in the book and not just undressed handsome men holding their kilts at arm's length, I have now finished writing chapters 19 and 20.  There is actually substance in this book!  It's not just a bunch of bodies rolling around in the heather while making eye contact and funny noises. Nope, there's actually quite a little tidy little plot to follow. You may even like it. I'm hoping you like it. I love it. I've been having a blast writing it. Today, Aria (my heroine) finds herself blaming herself for having said words that later became prophetic, and she's thinking her husband's demise may have been her fault because of it. She's not claiming the "Secret" or anything, but she's saying she put it out there. 

    Tomorrow, I'll have the families leave Edinburgh and trek back to Glasgow and/or the moors surrounding it, but we'll also say goodbye to Michael Givens and his wife Jedelle who are planning a magnificent theatrical experience for the folks of Edinburgh in the very near future. It's absolutely sure to be a show-stopper and possibly considered illegal as well. What will the neighbors say?  I need to find a way to add colors, flavors, tastes, and other sensory events such as hearing bells, dogs barking, and owls hooting...I do that sort of thing during the next step. What are the next steps? Well, first I have to finish the book which is going to happen in about a week. There will be 28 chapters I think.

    After I finish the book I save each chapter right after the other into one file and "canonize" the book by doing so. Right now there are individual chapters in a file all by themselves. I need to put them into one file and format the canonized book into a larger font with much more space between the lines so I can take notes. I use a real pen to do that. Then I have to separate the dialogue so that the quoted statements take their correct positions, that's fun to do, I have to go back over what the characters said to each other, verify it, change the spellings if I want them to have specific accents when they speak, and say things like "she answered" rather than "she said" because I don't want to repeat myself too often. That's boring. I use a thesaurus anyway, but during the correction stage, I really use it. I question myself over and over again if I should use another set of words; I usually do.

    After I do all of that, I go back over it, fluff it full of more facts, remove things, push things around, change entire paragraphs, and I may even delete events that I think sound redundant or silly. I'm not above a rewrite. I can rewrite it. I do that. My people could start out with one name on the working pages and suddenly before it's published I've found and replaced every instance from that name with a new name. I tweak and then I tweak again. This should take another week to complete. By the end of the process, I am ready to pay an editor to look it over and not listen to a DAMN thing they suggest. I'm hard on myself like that, thinking I should have been able to figure it out so I do. 

    Fun times again tomorrow.  Fun times for the next two weeks. I think the book should be ready to send to the printers by March 1. That's the goal. We'll see. Oh, and I think I am going to keep the title "Of Kilted Pleasure".  I like it.

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Just Because I'm a Southern Woman Don't Underestimate Me.

 There's a t-shirt or sweatshirt out there that reads rather sassy-ly "Go ahead, underestimate me, that'll be fun"  and really yeah, that about covers it. I could end the blog right now if I needed to.

    I had the pleasure of explaining Southern women to a man today who I met at the bank. He was, I assume, rather taken back that a woman (especially one from the South) could walk into a banking institution and walk directly to the loan officers to discuss the various means of purchasing, not financing, but purchasing a property that may be owned by a bank in this country.  The property I was (yes, I was that woman he so mistakenly decided to underestimate) referring to is actually situated in Scotland. I was made aware that the property is owned by a member of the bank where I do business.  My thought was that perhaps I could talk to the owner of the house and land to sell it to the bank and then I could buy it from the bank making it an American transaction rather than an international one. See how things can be better thought out when you actually think outside those boxes everyone is so hastened to stick us into these days?

    The man asked me to my face after he saw me walk into the bank and go directly to a loan officer that I knew if I had always been so bold. The answer was obvious, but I decided to give him a nod and answer in the affirmative. The woman I spoke with knew me well enough to know I didn't walk into the bank this morning to schedule an appointment with her for a delayed conversation. I explained that based on the first meeting I would then schedule a time to meet that would be satisfactory to us both. As it turns out the gentleman who had apparently walked into the bank and made his request known to the tellers that he would like a conference with a loan officer at the earliest convenience, before taking his seat to wait, was in fact from the United Kingdom himself.  When I walked in and simply walked into the threshold of the woman he was probably waiting to see, he gave me the attention he did through his cordial and thoughtful mannerism, but you know the man was probably thinking I was not only cheeky but perhaps unorthodox or rude as well.  Well, he has a lot to learn about Southern women!

    "Well Sir," I started, "It's like this.  I have an issue to discuss so rather than come into the bank and tell the tellers that I have an issue to discuss with Karrie, the loan officer I've known for 11 years, I just walked up to let her know what I wanted and when she checked her schedule we made the arrangement for me to come back tomorrow to go over the details." That's when I asked him if this was his first trip to the States and if so if it was his first trip to Oklahoma or any other Southern state. He answered also, in the affirmative to both questions. He was traveling through the normal routes from Florida to California and made a pit stop in our fair state to make a currency exchange.  Currency exchange, really? I asked him if he had checked the Forex market today to be sure he was receiving the most for his pound notes to which he stared blankly at me and said no, he had no idea he could do that. Yes, you can.

    For the next few minutes as Karrie was going over a few more things before coming out to greet Mr. L____ from just south of the Scottish/English border town of Berwick on Tweed, I explained that women in the South are quite friendly, very direct, they say what they mean, they mean what they say, and we hope that our requests can be met with attention to detail as we don't have time to go back over the matter several times. We strongly encourage people to listen to us the first time we say something. If in fact a man, usually a man, ever hears a Southern woman say the words "Bless your heart" when he's asked her the repeat something, he may want to at least take a couple of steps back from her to put more distance between the two of them. If she's a mother, she's likely to throw a shoe at him in the next few seconds. Truth. (Oh, and we say "hon", "sugar" and "baby" a lot too)

    This revelation was met with a plethora of questions from the man. First, he wanted to thank me for taking the time to explain in simple terms the various truths and/or myth busters regarding the stereotypical image of what the men (and maybe the women too) in the UK think of American women from the Southern states. He was one, in fact, to not include Oklahoma as being one of these states to which he met my blank silent stare. He understood. He asked me if I owned a horse. I said yes. He laughed. He asked me if I owned a gun. I answered that I did and that I was better at shooting the rifle, but it won't fit too snuggly in the drawer of the nightstand.  He asked me if I was educated past that the typical secondary level and my answer was "Sir, you're speaking to Dr. Jude Stringfellow if that helps you out a little". He again thought this to be an anomaly, to which I assured him it was not.  He finally, after a few more normal questions about what Southerners eat, and what type of music we listen to, wanted to know if I attended church on a regular basis. I informed the man that I was born on Wednesday and in church on Sunday, and that my upbringing was that of a very strict Southern Baptist attendee, however, over the years I have been attending the Superior Word online. (Then I explained that Charlie Garrett is one of the best Bible-teaching pastors out there.) 

    Suffice it to say that the man was impressed with the fact that he had met not only one but several Southern women this morning. He was in the bank surrounded by four workers who were all women of this great state, and myself. He told me that when he calls his wife in a few hours to send her and the kids off to sleep, he'll tell her all about our meeting. He then stepped foot into Karrie's office and they closed the door to talk money. I hope Karrie won't be too upset with me for giving him the heads up on checking the Forex before accepting an exchange. Banks like to make their money on the backs of those who don't know you can do that. It's a game, but it's one you can be a part of.  

    Not all Southern women hoot and holler in public; some do. Not all of us can cook like our great grammies did, but some do. We're a mix of brilliant, bright, baffled, and beloved gals who mostly find solace in family and friends. I'd say for the most part also we're pretty keen on being pretty keen. We can dress up or down rather quickly, and we can hold our own toe-to-toe.  Most of us still wear our pointed boots, so that could mean something right there. If you're lucky enough to be with a genteel honest gal from one of the Southern states, you might need to keep your manners up front and your mischief to the rear of the bus inside your head. Know that we love Jesus and we're not afraid to act just like Him. In other words, we've been known to throw a table or two and pull out the whips when we feel the need. We could also end up dying for you if we love you enough. 

God bless the Southern women of the United States of America. Here's to you!

Photo Credit: Pinterest.com