Jude Stringfellow's Blog, page 53

Chapter One: Of Kilted Pleasure

Of Kilted Pleasure

Chapter One

 

Once more, she watched as he removed his tartan, folding it carefully and laying it on the stand beside her bed. His approach familiar, quiet, and without words. He held her face tenderly in his calloused hands, his breath gentle and confident. Tonight, unlike so many other nights, she dreamed the two of them were alone in her room at home, lying stripped of their clothes; naked flesh melding into one as they joined. Often in these dreams, she would find herself beside her imagined handsome, ruggedly dark Highlander lover in a secluded glen, a moor with rolling fields of aromatic heather and the hardy thistle. The last rays of a nonchalant setting orb beating orange and rouge as it began to close its eyes to the day as dusk began to creep into her mind's vivid and lucid apparition. He would be with her all night.

She urged her lily-soft palms as they pressed against his bare and naked chest to feel his heat, inviting him to warm her thoroughly; he could warm her deeply as no man, in reality, had ever been capable of doing. His warrior heart beat steadily upon her skin, pulsating, sending rhythmic vibrations through her wanting form. If she closed her eyes even a slight bit more, she could feel each pulse as it penetrated into her soul.

            Softly, only barely moving his strong long fingers, he traced along the softer form of her breast. Erotic quivers of desire rippled over her, tiny pinpoints of pleasure now vivid on her nude exposed flesh. She trembled with excitement, the anticipation of his hardness pressing inward on her thigh. Gently, he moved his right hand to drape hers to assist her with his desire for touch. She never fought him.

            Was he indeed only an imagined lover? Would he ever manifest himself, showing her that genuine and sustainable love does exist in a world so cruel as to have enslaved her mind to this, her only means of escape from what others would call reality? She had never seen his face entirely; he had never revealed it. Perhaps he was just that, an image, a thought, or maybe he was waiting for her to leave her true and sustainable reality for what would be a better and more fulfilling fantasy; his idea of truth.

            Their passion continued. Craig repeatedly thrust his tongue inside her taut body, her long, muscular legs clamped about his neck. Her deepening moans sent shivers down his spine; he couldn't stop himself; he wouldn't stop. No sounds on earth could soothe the man as the music she created each time he took her. She was his instrument to hold, to play, so perfectly tuned. With each movement of her hips, another string plucked, pulling him deeper within her; raw, delicious cries of a woman, his woman. She gave herself entirely to the moment. Grabbing him abruptly with both of her hands, his head near hers, his mouth open and wanting. She kissed him hard, allowing herself to hear him pant and taste him breathing his very life into her lungs.

            Sweet, moist drops of perspiration flowed between them as she turned upon her back, asking him for his fullness; her request now his command. He quietly spoke in his native language words of love as they repeated their motions; he worshipped her with his mouth, not leaving a single inch of her passioned-craved body without his touch. He entered her fully extended, his cock engorged, wet with excreted sweat. They moved together in an undulated rhythm, rising, lifting, falling, holding their breath together as he plunged devotedly over and over again. The moment's explosion intensely increased to the point of exhaustion, yet neither man nor woman was willing to cease their calling. The evening's hour wore the cloak of twilight before the fire of their lust subsided and began to wane. As she slowly opened her eyes, reality returned to herself, she sighed a mournful breath of loneliness.

            For Aria, the truth was too tormenting to bear. For three long and enduring years, she had been the bride to a man whose hands were brutal and unforgiving. She couldn't think of herself as ever being able to rest assured in them. Why not fantasize about Craig now? Hadn't he been there for her all these years, since before she was given to that monster James McFarlane? She was now known to the village as Mrs. James Fraser McFarlane? Wasn't her name hers anymore? No one ever called her by her real name now; it was always "Mrs. McFarlane" or "James' wife"; even the sound of it repulsed her. She closed her satin brown eyes to think only of the one man who held her close and always knew what to feel and think. He alone was her refuge now. Craig Allan Mackenzie. Though he was only a vision, a mere apparition, he was more real to her than the agonizing truth of being made to bed a man who she despised.  Given to him some sort of property, kept alive only to bear him a child. Would the truth ever be known of the actual cause regarding the young Mrs. McFarlane before her? What became of her? Where had she fallen? Was she alone when it happened? No one challenged the man upon his statement that his first wife had simply fainted while standing upon a hilly glen; her fall not only took her life but by good fortune, freed her from a life with an angry bastard.

            Craig, though only in her imagination, had been with her since her early childhood. He began as she, a child, only inches taller and a bit faster than she. Aria's clear mind could conjure the best of stories, and these are the things that kept her patient now. Only through her lovemaking with Craig could she withstand the physical touch of her husband. It was Craig's words she would say and Craig's thoughts she would have in order to wane off the pressure and the hideous breath that met her each night. That she could imagine herself with another man was not a sin, not in her mind, not as long as he lived captured within the confines of her emotions and inward eye. No one would be the wiser. With his strong voice speaking the sweetest of Scots Gaelic, she could also pretend to be far away from the oversight of Cobb's Row and all of Gorbaldis with a million eyes and tongues to watch and lie about her, to her. Some would brand her a witch if they could feel what she felt each time Craig's hard fingers moved gently between the softer lips of her groin, keeping her mind as far away from what was indeed her existence. Even in his better moments, James could never be as caring or as sensual a lover as Craig Allen Mackenzie had grown to be.

Photo Credit: The Scottican.com
Email: jude.stringfellow@gmail.com

The book "Of Kilted Pleasure" will be published by Xlibris in 2 months. To read more keep watching this blog.
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First World Issues. I Have Them.

 If you know me you know I LOVE LOVE LOVE Scotland, but I'm not going to move there on a permanent basis because I can't be inconvenienced to the point that I can't just jump into my car and go down the road to get ice cream, crickets to feed my lizard, or to the store when I'm out of creamer. The whole concept of moving to Scotland was to make my life easier....and in ways, it would, but I can't wait in a queue to catch a bus. It's just not going to happen.  I can do it. I'm not above doing it. That's not the problem. The problem is I'll cuss and fuss about it so often that I'll be known as the THAT American, and I really don't want to do that to my fellow countrymen. Just thinkin' about you guys!!

    Why am I telling that in a blog titled "First World Issues". Well, OK, here it is, I had two First World issues today that if I had tried to remedy them while living (or even visiting) in Scotland, I would have pulled my hair out, pissed off a few folks, made an absolute ass of myself, and I would have possibly used my "get out of jail free" card. I'm saving that one.  Actually, there were three issues. Geez.  Yesterday I had one too. I went to work, which in and of itself would have been a nightmare in Edinburgh. I left the house at 8:35 a.m. and drove the 9.1 miles, I arrived at 9:00 a.m. which it should never take that long, but it's in the city, so there you go. The same distance using a bus in Edinburgh, if I used the same type of route from Point A to Point B would have taken over an hour using the bus system. I was already pissed it took 25 minutes.  Then, I got there, and I had forgotten my reading glasses. Thank God, I don't need Rx for the glasses, because since it was just a pair of readers I hopped in the car and drove 1.2 miles to the nearest CVS and I got another pair.  Driving from that Point A to Point B (and back) was only 11 minutes. Bam!

    The issues I had today were so minimal. I am almost embarrassed to say it, but it's me, so there you go. It's the day after Valentine's Day and that can only mean ONE thing...cheap candy. So, I wanted my cheap candy. If I wanted to go to the store I wanted to go to to get said cheap candy in Edinburgh using the buses and/or trains, it would be an all-day (or half) event. As it turned out, I was able to drive from my house to three stores since two of them didn't have any half-price candy, and I finally ended up with one that had a bit left. Wow...these people around my neck of the woods are FAST when it comes to scarfing up half-price candy. Let me tell you. Again, it's one of those issues that may not even be a thing over there, but it is here. The second issue was returning an item from Amazon. I order and order and order, and yes, I return, return, return. It depends on the timing, whether or not they were able to get it to me in time, and whether or not I needed it if they took too long. I even have Prime and they've been late lately...that may have been redundant. 

    So, there I am heading back to the car to drive the 0.8 miles to the nearest UPS store where I know there are no queues to stand in. They have six workers and they are really fast. I took a set of headphones back...another set of headphones. Here is where the really embarrassing First World issue comes into play. I've ordered four sets of headphones in the past week. I've returned three. We'll see if the one I get tomorrow is going to have a permanent home with me. The first one was too big, I mean, I have a normal-sized head, but the lowest setting was too big, and that's really odd.  The next one didn't have a USB cord for wireless even though it was advertised as having one. The 3rd one and this one really upset me, folds. I don't do folding headsets because they inevitably pull out one hair at a time on the side of my head when I turn my head - - OUCH! Sorry, not doing it. So yeah, First World much? I think so. The 4th set should be good. It's a Logistics gaming set. I don't actually game, but I can have non-folding headsets and pretend I game.

    So, it would seem that the use of a car is the one really big thing that is keeping me from moving over there. I could learn to drive I suppose, but I don't know if the world at large is ready for that. I already get pissy when people drive in the same direction as I don't drive well.  I'm the worst at gripping my steering wheel and cussing under my breath at people. I've stopped honking and flipping people off because this generation can't be offended without bodily injury occurring. It's so sad. I miss the days when you could roll your window down and really let someone have an ear full when they deserve it.  Another First World issue I suppose would be that we can't pull up in front of someone who cut you off and then drive so slowly they get pissed.  They shoot you now, or ram your car and drive away - - bastards. (and another reason is I can't say "pissy" in Scotland. It means being drunk. Dang.)

    OK...here's a First World issue that doesn't involve using my car. I walked my dog today and we went near the pond where she can poop and no one asks me to pick it up because the geese poop there too. Well, Ginger...because she's that way, pooped at the pond, then when we were coming back to the apartment she pooped again, and I didn't have a baggie on me. That's a crime in these parts. You can't even know how I stared at my dog!! I told her she was a good girl because I know she is, but I don't like that I had to put her up in the apartment, grab a bag, go back to the poop, try to find it, and then pick it up before a neighbor complains about me to the landlord. Geez.  Can I catch a break?

    So, there you have it. I was just not in the best mood today after realizing that Valentine's candy was being shipped back to the manufacturers, and then they have outlets where they can get more out of the boxes. I hate that. All my life I've been a day-after candy buyer, and now I have to rethink it. How sad this world has become. LOL...and yet, I am blessed. I know I am blessed. I'm really really blessed.

Photo Credit: Borgenproject.com

GRAMMARLY. That is All.

 Apparently, I suck at writing. I say that because I downloaded Grammarly and used it to edit my book "Of Kilted Pleasure," and let me just say I made more mistakes than Carter has little pills. NOT joking. (and yes, Grammarly just told me that I wrote a fragmented sentence.) I am the worst about writing as I speak, and you can't always do that when you publish a novel.  I mean, you can, but you probably shouldn't. 

    First, I was pretty sure I had done a really good job at my personal editing. Then my friend in Greece went through only about 100 pages and was coming up with so many errors on my part that I thought I had to try Grammarly. I have used it for emails and Facebook, but I bit the bullet and I paid the $30 monthly fee to use it for ONE month. When I write the next book, I'll do the monthly service, where I pay for a year for a reduced price each month. I think it's $12.99 or something like that when you pay for it all at once. I'll do it. I will DO IT, PEOPLE!  It is so worth it.

    Not even going to laugh about it. I was so far from being a good writer that I decided to ask myself what the hell I'm doing every day on this keyboard. Well, turns out I'm writing!  I actually do write the blog as if I'm talking to you, so I'll use colloquial terms, and I'll shorten sentences too. I'll throw in some trash if I need to in order to make my point. I can't even say "in order to" with Grammarly. It stops me and says it's too wordy; it wants me to say "to" instead.  FINE!  You should have seen the errors it was throwing at me when I wrote the spoken dialogue in Scots! LOL...that was funny.

    Well, as it turns out, I am not a poor writer, just a poorly disciplined writer. I had 84% of the mechanical structure, which was good, and the average is 68%, so I don't feel too bad about that. My comma usage was hovering at 68-70%, so I could work on that for sure. My tendency to use words I don't need to is WAY up there; I don't even want to talk about it.  I have an old-school (1800-1900) way of writing, and the darn thing wants me to step up my game and use more modern words. I was using gender-based words, offensive and defensive words, and words that could be considered non-inclusive. A few of the words just made me laugh.  Grammarly wanted me to use another word other than "battle" because the word was combative....you think!  It wanted me to use "competition" instead. I'm thinking the Battle of Culloden was, in fact, a real and actual battle. It wasn't a competition.  Another one that made me giggle was the phrase "old woman."  Grammarly said that it would be considered disrespectful.  The woman I was speaking of was in her 90s. She's OLD.  I kept the words and added "elderly" and "grandmotherly" a couple of times.

    The bottom line is, I was so very lost without it, and I'm swimming in the best pool out there with Grammarly. You need it. Get it. Use. It. So worth it. I'm only speaking in fragmented sentences now to make Grammarly work for the $30 I put out for it.  (Psst, Grammarly doesn't like it when I say "boo bear". It's never heard of one.)

LOL....it doesn't like LOL either.

Photo Credit: Grammarly.com

EDITORS and READERS of my BOOK - - PLEASE READ THIS BLOG.

 So, this is a blog for the 10-12 people who I have sent the book for the purpose of reading through it.  I can't remember which version each of you has, so in a few days, I will resend all of you the newest PDF version which will have new corrections.  If you are writing your corrections down on a piece of paper or something, you can go back over the new PDF to see if those corrections have been made.  Leti (my REALLY good friend) is going over it with a fine-toothed comb. She pointed out 100 things I missed.  THANK YOU LETI!!!

    I went through the entire book today and where there was a blue underlining (I can see it so I assume you can if you're reading it in WORD) I realized that these were mostly places where I had missed a comma or a word was needed to make it sound better.  Some of the time, however, this was not the case, as the computer didn't recognize my attempt at writing in Scots.  I can't correct the spelling for those words and oftentimes it seems to the program that I need a comma or another letter to complete the word. These words will remain spelled the way they are spelled. I did, however, use the word "wad" for "what" and that's not the correct word to use. The word "would" is spelled "wad" in Scots.  Geez...one would think I would know that! LOL. I don't have to worry about Jeannie making any corrections to the Scots words...she will likely just skip over them and later ask me what I meant. Tony and David, this one is more of your expertise for sure.

    To say this book has been a blast to write is an understatement. I'm learning so much about myself as a writer, but also just the process of editing my own mistakes. You can't do it really.  You need to have others read through it to find the mistakes because you tend to glaze right over your own mistakes. I know I do. I'm realizing now, that after I have walked away and come back several days later, I can see the mistakes much more clearly.  I will not get them all.  I'll still rely on you guys and then after I've made all of your corrections, and my own, I will submit to an editor for another round of viewing; this time using their professional programs. 

    In about a week I will send all of you the revised book to go back over if you want, but keep in mind when the real book comes out I will send each of you a copy for having helped. I will also thank you in the thank you section. If you'll give me one of your favorite words I'll be sure and acknowledge that as well in the acknowledge section. It's where I get to have fun with the audience and say weird things that other authors would never say.  I'm thanking people for suggesting words. It doesn't matter how odd the word is, if I use it in the book, which I will find a way to do so, I will give you credit for suggesting the word.  

    OK, so that's about it. I'm just laughing at myself for the 189,998, 492 mistakes I've made so far. The silver lining of all of this is, I wrote a freaking novel in just under a month's time.  It'll take that long to correct it, but yeah, I wrote a freaking novel in just under a month!! Woo Hoo!! THANK YOU ALL for your help, and I really really mean that.

Photo Credit: ryanavery.com

Playing at the Guitar.

 Many of you may know that in the early 80s, I had the biggest crush on Edgar Cruz, and yeah, I would have married the man if he had (a) taken notice that I liked him (b) taken the least bit of interest in me, and (c) had he asked.  Edgar was and is one of the world's best (and I mean that) flamenco guitar players. He is just amazing, I'll leave you a link to his site so you can check him out on your own.  It was Edgar who inspired me to buy my first guitar and try as I want, I just can't remember much about it. I really can't. I want to say it was a Fender. I know I've owned a few. When you own a guitar you're really supposed to play it too, it sort of works that way, but I think having one in the house was good enough for me. It kept me thinking about my youth, and of course, about Edgar! (OK, if he ever finds himself single again, I may have to approach.) I used to say that Edgar was the GREATEST guitar playing I've ever met, but I have actually met Eddie Van Halen, so maybe I should give Edgar 2nd place since he never taught me how to play.

    So, years ago I had a guitar that I really loved. I bought her at a pawn shop when I went in to sell the owner a bit of insurance. She was really old by musical standards, but I didn't think much about it. She was a Spanish guitar, I know that. I named her Stella because I lived in an apartment complex called Lake Stella, and she fit right in with the ambiance of that place. The complex was older, relaxed, just sort of friendly, and in an urban setting, not rural at all. Stella was stolen from me right after I had her cleaned, restrung, and tuned. I am not sure, but I think the owner of the guitar repair store waited until I went to church, and then he snuck into my house. I can't prove it, but a man fitting his description was seen at my apt that day. So sad. I guess he actually knew what I had, and knew I wouldn't really ever use her the way he could. He could have asked! I may have just sold her to him.

    Well, I've gone through a few guitars. I gave one to my granddaughter Sailor last year; one that I love so very much. I call him Checkers for a reason. He's a black and white checkered guitar. He's of lower quality, but that's because I didn't want him stolen like Stella was stolen. She was kind of expensive, to be honest. Checkers was right at $100; so yeah, if he was taken I wouldn't have felt it so hard in my wallet. OK, about 2 or maybe 3 years ago now, I was just looking online and found a guy on Facebook who was selling his Yahama acoustic; I always have acoustic guitars. He was selling it for $100 and I knew the model was worth more than that. The guitar was new, it was never really used, and I thought I needed to go get it. I'm glad I did.

I named the guitar Wallace and call him Wally.  I have been playing at him for about 2 or 3 years, not really making anything happen. I just like holding a guitar and playing with it, you know, pretending I know what I'm doing. The dog likes it too. She sometimes nudges my elbow and looks at Wally when she wants me to play him. I love that. Today, I took Wally to Guitar Center in Oklahoma City to be cleaned, restrung, and tuned but I told the guy (Hector) I wanted to stay while he did so I could look around. He agreed and got right on it. It didn't take him 30 minutes and that was in between customers. Good kid. He did a great job.

    The guitar tuning and new strings ran $24.99, and I ended up buying two shakers to drive the dogs crazy, and they had a clearance sale on a few things too. I bought my first EVER pair of drumsticks. Why? Do I play the drums? No. I do not play the drums, but I do have dogs and cats, and I love teasing them. I can beat on things around the house, knock them together, and just really be annoying. I like that. For $4.99 I think I got the best deal in the store!  I also bought an LP of Simon and Garfunkel.  I asked Hector (he's 19) if he had ever heard of them. He had not. I nearly cried. They had a double LP of Credence Clearwater Revival, and I didn't need to buy it because I have it. I asked him if he had heard of CCR....he had not. I don't know who Hector's parents or grandparents are, but they really failed the man. My kids knew EVERY S&G song from the day they could sing. They knew the Bee Gees, The Beatles, Billy Joel, Elton John, and of course Eric Clapton, Kansas, Foreigner, Journey, and Boston. 

    Sadly, and I mean this, not one of my children plays the guitar.  I absolutely failed them, but then again, I can blame Edgar for not marrying me. If he had we would have had at least two or three kids and they would have in the family band. I can't get any of my kids interested in forming a band with me. I'll have to go solo. That's the only choice I have. At least with the little shakers I can drive them nuts and force them to either join me or leave me alone to my madness. The dogs both hate and love me at this point. The cats don't care. They never care.

 

Photo Credit: Me.  (This is Wally) Take note of the tip jar. When I pretend, I go all out.www.edgarcruz.com 

Mental Awareness in My New Book

 I honestly did not start writing the book with the idea of having the hero (one of 4) being a sufferer of mental illness. I did however after it became apparent to me that I was in fact writing about it, decide that he should live with the condition and not be "healed" or "cured" of it.  By allowing him to work through his issues he is a stronger character in my opinion. He recognizes that he is weaker at times, but that he is also capable of greatness at other times. He worries. He has depression. He has bouts of anxiety, and he has some self-doubt.  I think I like the guy because he's still trudging through the days and nights, months, and even the years. He isn't quitting or throwing himself over the cliffs. He's upset, but he manages his emotions, and he gets help. 

    Ewan Hastings is the character.  He starts out as a young kid whose parents leave him in Scotland when they make their voyage to Nova Scotia. They have just enough fare for the rest of the family, but at age 11 he'll be considered full fare, and they don't have it. He's left with relatives. He is then brutally attacked by scoundrels on the hills where he lives, he survives it but it leaves a lasting memory.  He falls in love early, but she's older and has her life to live.  He kills a man in honor of the woman he believes he loves, and there is a story that goes with that. I won't ruin it for you.  Ewan grows up, matures, he marries, he suffers, he lives, he laughs, and he loves. 

    There are another two mentions of mental disorders in the book. One is a true disorder in that a girl is born with a deficiency.  She is a twin, and that can happen. She was malnourished in the womb perhaps. She grows up somewhat normal, but it is evident that she is incapable of caring for herself as she ages. She is institutionalized and her treatment is not what we would expect in the world today (not by any means). The other instance is a historical one. It is a glimpse into the mind of a historical figure, and it is a mere mention of his sickness; it is believed he was a product of incest, and his was a life of violent outbursts. He is not alive during the time of our characters, he is mentioned in their past. He is not related to anyone in the book.

    Why did I do that? Why did I purposely write about these and other issues? I think it's good to do so and to bring about wisdom, awareness, intel, and possibly dialogue about it. We need more dialogue. We have a lot of folks with a lot of different issues; why not talk about what we can do to ease their suffering? I think we all share a part in that. We are the larger community, and they are, as we are, a part of that community. I say we, I mean me. I have a few mental issues of my own. I am not full blown unempathetic, but I am somewhat so. I don't have the capacity to be as compassionate when I should probably be more compassionate. I try. I really do try, but it's not in me. I have been hurt and feel that, but that's not compassion. I have been broken, I have been touched by stories or images. I just don't have the wherewithal to truly understand it at its core. I see things so very differently than others, and I can come across as being rude, blunt, uncaring, or harsh when really I'm thinking of ways to ease someone's pain -- efficiently as possible. I need to be aware that being more compassionate would assist in these endeavors.

    So there you have it. I am finished with the book. I went through it today to check for spelling. I am using the Scots language in some of it and needed to be consistent. I am not going all out on that either, as I want the English-only audience to be able to read what the characters are saying to each other. I think I managed it well enough. We'll see. I have sent it to about 20 people to read and give me feedback. If you think you would like to read it, please send me your email address and we'll talk to see if I think it would be a good idea to do that (since I don't know you). I have registered the book with the publisher and it is being registered with the Library of Congress, so I'm not worried about anyone stealing the idea. It's mine. I can prove it. Besides, there's nothing new under the Sun, right? Highlanders have been making love to their friends and family for centuries.

    Hope to see the book on shelves by May 1. Wish me Jesus...I don't do luck.

Photo Credit: Montclair.eduemail me: jude.stringfellow@gmail.com so we can chat before I hand over my book to you to read. LOL

Done! Done! Done! Done!

 I have finished writing the book "Of Kilted Pleasure".  I spoke with the publishers today, and they asked me to send them a completed chapter so they could entice readers with it in the advertisement during the production stage of the process. I sent them the rather sexy chapter of course, as I want people to know it's a romance book. I later received a call from the publisher stating that the book would be really popular and that they felt that it could be picked up by a major house!! Woo Hoo!!  They have a hand-shake sort of arrangement with actual publishing houses, so if my book is well received, that could mean that it would be purchased by a bigger house and have more backing!! I like that.

    The book is just over 71,000 words, which is a bit shorter than I wanted, but I'm OK with it. The story is told. I read the entire book in a few hours' time, so that's good, and I made the adjustments needed for the formatting. I added things, I took things out, and I created the quotation portion to resemble (as best I could) that of the 18th Century Scots language for some of the speakers. Not all of the speakers spoke Scots, but enough did that I found myself really paying attention to the words. I need to go back over it tomorrow to be sure I got it all right. The second time I go over it doesn't take as long as the first time.

    Let me just say, I like the book. I really do. It's not as sexual as I thought it was going to be, but it does have its heavy heated moments. It's a good book in that I like the characters. I like their exchanges; it's a good book. I hope you like it too.  I could possibly add more descriptions to it tomorrow, believing that a reader should have a good idea of who it is they are reading about. I was good with most, but I bet I skipped a few. The hardest part was getting the time frame to work out. I had skipped around a bit, and at first, I was going to have Aria be 10 years older than Ewan, but she's only about 3-4 years older. I had to change dates and data.

    Let's see, 70,000 words = 280 pages when you add the dedication, thank you, acknowledgment, and blank pages. There are typically 280 words per page, but that's in 11 font. My book will be in 12 font, so that's about 250 words per page. We'll see how it works out. It will be a 6x9" book, I know that much. The cover will have lavenders, roses, and greys, and showcase the hillish moor where the manor house ruins are situated; you'll see Aria dreaming with Craig Mackenzie behind her, making love to her or about to, and you'll see Ewan Hastings as a lad making his way up toward the ruins; where they meet for the first time.

    I had to give an "About the Author" blurb, and an "About the Book" blurb, and that's interesting too.  I hope I did it well enough to drive a few more viewers and readers my way!!  Here's to writing! I love it. This being the 6th of February, I can say that I started the book on January 4, 2023, and finished it in just over 4 weeks. Start to finish...wow. To think, Aria Campbell and Ewan Hastings didn't even exist 5 weeks ago....of course, Craig Allan Mackenzie did. LOL

 

Photo Credit: (Edinburgh 1700) Pinterest.com

Mental Awareness: God is Real

 I have a friend in the UK who has been dealing with, even battling PTSD, and anxiety, as well as being diagnosed as being depressed. He suffers and he realizes that he suffers so he does exactly what he's supposed to do;  he listens to the real Physician and follows His direction.  Mental illness is exactly what the two words imply. It is an illness, a sickness, and it affects the mind. From time to time, it could probably be said that literally everyone who walks the planet has been victimized or subjected to at least some mental illness. I'd say (like a cold, or flu) that it can come upon a person without any notice whatsoever, and it can last for a little while, or it can linger. If it's not treated, it can remain dormant within one's mind for the duration of their life. This is when the problem(s) can become chronic and much harder to control.

    I've said it before, and I'll say it now. Mental illness is not the same, did you read that, read it again, it is NOT the same as being insane, or having a mental deficiency. The two are very distinct; if you are truly mentally incapable of something, that's not an illness, that's a physical issue and where it may be helped by behavioral changes, medication, or surgery, it is not, and it never will be the same as having periodic depression, anxiety, or self-doubt. That's the first thing that needs to be addressed.  You can't put a Band-Aid on an open gaping wound and think things are going to be OK. You need the right tools, and the right solution, and you need to adhere to the advice of those professionals who have been trained to do what it is that you need. That being said, you should also refer back to the original thought of the blog, and go straight to God for help. There had to be a reason for the disorder; ask Him to help you live with it, and ask Him how it can bring HIM glorification and praise. It can. I know, it sounds really crazy, but it's true. Our inferiority issues can bring Him great glory if we surrender our issues to Him allowing His healing to be seen by many. 

   There are legitimate reasons for otherwise normal behavior in a person to turn angry, ugly, sad, unruly, etc. We get upset, we become frustrated, we owe money, we can't find work, someone has left us, or someone we love has passed, there are just too many reasons or excuses to go into depression or become anxious about something. We know this to be true. The old adage of it's not what happens, but how you respond to it, can be used in most if not all of these external cases. Go to God. Be still, sit in silence before Him, meditate on your breathing, and seek His will accordingly. It's not easy; no one said it was. It's the worst! The hardest pose in yoga is the "corpse" pose because you literally have to lay there and NOT move or do anything but breathe. It's really hard to do, but that's where it all begins. Be still. Be quiet. Stop the madness. Let go of the thought that you are in control, and KNOW that HE is God.

    God calls Himself "I Am".  He didn't call Himself "I Will Be" or "I Was".  We can't live in our past any more than we can live in our future even for a second before the second we are currently living. HE IS, and He is the GREAT I AM for that reason. He is always I AM, and you will always be who you are. I think we can all agree that none of us is greater than He. LET IT GO!  The greatest king, not the wisest king, the greatest king known throughout history could very well be Nebuchadnezzar. He reigned in Babylon 500+ years before Jesus and was the same king who Daniel the prophet spoke to regarding his dreams. He's the same king who threw the friends of Daniel into the fiery furnace. He's the same king who crushed his enemies and was known as the great warrior, etc. etc. etc....well, he went mad, but he didn't go mad on his own. Read the Bible. It says "Then God spoke with Nebuchadnezzar" and he was driven out of his kingdom and made to live in the wild, literally crawling around naked and eating the wild grasses and berries. His nails grew like claws, and the hair on his body grew like feathers on a bird. I don't know about you but that doesn't sound much like he had much to do with his transformation. GOD did that.

    What's my point? Nebuchadnezzar knew about God. He knew God's power, but because he was in control of so many others, and had such power, he thought he was in a position to be worshipped but God thought otherwise. It wasn't until the king in his lowly lowly state (which took seven years) lifted his head to God that he was healed and restored. God chose when to restore him. God put the boundary of it. God knew how long it would take. We don't know that about ourselves. We think we know what we want, don't we? We think we know what is best. We think we can handle all of our problems, but some of our problems are not illnesses, and some of them are not disorders. Some of our problems are very much GOD driven, and we will NOT be healed of them until we lift our heads and realize we are weak, we are unable to do what He does. Don't let it take seven years. Learn the lesson faster. Think of how much the man lost during those seven years; family, friends, wealth, kingdom, wars, dignity, reputation, status, all of it - gone.  The Bible says old Neb was restored to his greatness, but that didn't happen overnight. How often do we suffer and how deeply do we suffer because we simply refuse to lift up our heads to the God of all, acknowledging that He is the Great I Am? 

    I am so proud of my good friend, I really am. He's been struggling for years with chronic depression and anxiety over things he can't control. To a degree, I think he has a few wires short of a full circuit, and he'd have to agree with me. We're built the way we're built, things happen to harm and hinder us, but hey, things also happen to heal and help us. Who do you think can do that? A doctor? Maybe a drug? No. If we are to be who we were made to be, we need to go to the Designer; simply put. You don't take your car to a chef to be examined for engine trouble, do you? Well, I mean if you do, that's one talented chef!  Think about it, use that mental part up in that brain of yours.  You have it there for a reason. Keep it healthy by seeing and talking to the true Physician often. He knows you by name. He made you. He loves you. I promise...but so much more importantly, HE promised.

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UPDATE: Fluffing and Stuffing

     The good news is that it doesn't take another three weeks to fluff and stuff, but it will take about a week to do it. I'm on Chapter 4 now, and I'll do another one today before calling it quits and starting again tomorrow. Tomorrow being Sunday, I will probably do five or six chapters, then I'll regulate myself and force myself to do about two or three chapters a day during the week, so I can get the job done by this time next week. Once I have the first rewrite I'll then go through the book again to see if I like it. If I like it I'll leave it alone. I know I won't like it that much.

    I'll end up tweaking it a bit more, and then sending it off to be published the next week, so sometime around Valentine's Day I'll send it off, and I'll have it published. I have to send off my ideas for the cover art this week.  I have an idea of what I want it to look like, but that's so hard for me to even think about. I'm being asked to write a blurb about the book too, the one that goes on the back of the book, and it's the one that they use to market it. It's so hard to condense a book of 300+ pages down to 150 words!!  I have to find a way to do it. I can do it. 

    Today, I took my flash drive with the notes I've been writing for the fluffing and stuffing sessions to the FedEx store to print out the pages on the flash drive. I should have my printer up and ready, but no, I don't. Anyway, I took the flash drive there and realized that I had just been there three weeks beforehand with the same flash drive that had the idea (the concept) of the book, and now I have the entire book on the same flash drive as well as the 20 pages of notes I want to add inside the manuscript in one way or another.  Three weeks!!  I can't remember ever writing a book in just over three weeks. Crazy!  

    I came home with my 20 pages of notes and now I'm going through the book reading it and trying to figure out where I want to add the imagery and the filler stuff. I like my writing, the style, and whatnot, so adding to it in the arrears is a bit challenging for me. I don't tend to see the points where I can stop, put in a comma, and then add something. I tend to think I should leave well enough alone. Then I run across a note that says "When you introduce a new character be sure and add four very distinctive characteristics about that person."  Apparently, four is the accepted number of characteristics one is supposed to use in these instances. I looked it up - - it's four.

    One of my notes reads: "I met a respected old man by the side of the well who had only a ring of hair about his ears. His were kind enough eyes, and as he gestured to me to come closer I noticed he wore about himself the very plaid of my ancestry. This man, unknown to me  was at least kin, and perhaps important."  These are the types of notes I write along the way thinking I may need to expand my thoughts inside the writing.  If I added all of these notes I would have another 20 pages to the manuscript, which would not be a bad thing. 

    I'm reading each line of each paragraph and I'm adding what is in my head as I go along, without consulting the 20 pages of notes!  I need to consult them just in case I have already thought of something that would be a benefit to that particular paragraph.  I really do need to be more disciplined in my manner of writing however I can't see how I could be more disciplined than I am now. I am such as taskmaster to myself.  At least I allow myself breaks, walks, coffee, tea, etc. I'm not completely a shrew.

    OK, so that's it. That's the update. I'm digging in, and I'm filling in. I'm taking out, and I'm rewriting. I'm on Chapter 4, and by this time tomorrow I'll be on Chapter 10 I think. We'll see. Whatever the outcome I know I'll take the time to do it right because I won't send the book off unless and until I satisfy my strictest critic; myself.

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OKP: The Book is Formatted.

    OKP (Of Kilted Pleasure) is now formatted.  I ran the whole thing through Grammarly chapter by chapter and found out, believe it or not, that I had skipped the chapter numbers and I didn't create a Chapter 9.  I had to renumber every chapter after Chapter 8 to accommodate my faux-paux. These things happen. I was so sure I had been more careful than that, but nope, I was not. So, there are 27 chapters in the book, not 28, and I am still fluffing and stuffing, so there could be another one added or if I don't need to add one I'll be sure and lengthen the ones I have already. I want there to be 80,000 words, and I currently have 66,000 (or so).  I will keep working on it.

    To be sure, it's fun to edit my own work, but I would never want to be an editor for someone else's work. Nothing could be more boring and frustrating to me. I could only imagine how someone would feel if they edited my work.  I had so many idiot mistakes in my first write. If Grammarly wasn't there I would be so lost. I'm a freakin' professor of English Composition saying that! It's truly a great tool. I don't have a subscription to it yet, but I am thinking about doing that for the long haul because I have several books to write. I think having it there to work with AS I write, as opposed to sending the material through after it's written would be so much better.

    So, here I am looking at my work on the computer and thinking "Oh my gosh, it's only 152 pages...that sucks! I thought I wrote more than that." Then I realized that there needed to be a few adjustments such as font size, spacing, margins, and so forth. Yeah, it's closer to 235 right now before I pull out the quoted parts and space them so that people realize there is a conversation going on. That will add at least 10-14 pages and then I'll be adding as I rewrite, so it will be about 280 pages or so. It's a good-sized book. I want it to be worth the money people pay for it. The download will be about $6.99 I think, and the paperback about $21.00 but they always give discounts so it will be around $16.00 most likely. I'm not going to have it made into a hardcover. There's really no need these days for that.

    I've done what I can and will today. I'll start reading it tomorrow afternoon and going through it page by page to add to and subtract from. I have page after page of notes that I want to add to it, but if I don't use those notes I'll use them for the sequel.  WHAT? Did you read that? Did I say it out loud? Will there be a SEQUEL to "Of Kilted Pleasure"?  Yes, as a matter of fact, there will be.  Aria and Ewan will need to create a life for themselves, and the world needs to find out what happened to the great country of Scotland following the Battle of Culloden in 1745. Believe it or not, everything about the country (almost) changed and it was never the same again. It deserves to be understood. We have over 30,000,000 Scottish Americans and there are over 4,000,000 Scottish Canadians as well.  We need more books telling us the truth about our ancestors.

    My book(s) will not be 100% accurate in terms of history, so don't try and trip me up on that one, OK. I just want there to be an understanding of the gist of what took place and the common things that changed forever, and how it affected those people who were forced from their inheritances and their family homesteads to allow the government to use their lands for grazing. Sort of like what happened here in the United States if you think about it. Nothing new under the Sun! Well, the books will be a few months apart because I have the Murder Book to write, as well as the humor novel 1211.  I'll do my best to write them all this year, but at least this book should be out in May I think, so that's not too bad. Crossing fingers, and toes.

Be sure and keep up with the rest of the updates.

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