Rachel Hamilton's Blog, page 10

When God breaks your heart.

“Keep it together Rachel” I whispered to myself, don’t let them see you cry. It had only been a few hours since I had said the final goodbye to the children that had captured my heart at the orphanage. I had only been there two weeks but the love I had for these brave children was real. Now I was back  surrounded by my friends who had been on different mission adventures, everyone was laughing but I couldn’t shake the deep sadness that was in my heart. 

As soon as I could I went off  and found a quiet corner, pulling out my journal I wrote words but they seemed empty.  I didn’t know what to do anymore, the pain and need I had seen was very real. The hopelessness closed in around me, the job was too big, I was powerless to do anything.

Rachel.. I heard a voice calling.. Rachel I am breaking your heart.. Teaching you compassion, and empathy and love.

But God it hurts, it hurts so bad. I feel hopeless, broken…

I will break your heart and put it together again in a beautiful way. I will break your heart but I will never leave you without hope.

Time has gone on since that time. The hurt has healed but the passion and understanding of God’s heart has never left. God keeps breaking my heart for the things that break his and he is showing me his faithfulness and compassion time and time again.

When God breaks your heart he always has a plan and a purpose for it. He hates to see you hurt but he can see the end result and he whispers lean on me and you will make it, joy everlasting is coming.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I don’t enjoy pain but I love the growth it brings.

I don’t enjoy physical pain, thats the truth. I don’t enjoy not being able to do the things I used to do. I don’t enjoy feeling tired all the time or not being able to work. I don’t like taking heaps of pills a day. But I LOVE everything God is teaching me. I LOVE being able to understand other peoples pain in a real way. I LOVE how close I have grown to God, knowing him like never before. I LOVE waking up everyday knowing I have a God who use’s pain to teach me so much and give me a heart of compassion. Yes at times I am so weary of the struggle and fight but I have never ever been more alive in Christ.  Sickness has brought so much growth in my spiritual life like never before. If thats what it takes to praise you Jesus bring the pain..

Dear friends whatever you are struggling with today, I want you to know your pain matters and you are brave. Take care beautiful friends.

Humble

Ever felt like God just seem to take you through situations that humble you time and time again? Maybe God has asked you to do something that you don’t believe you are qualified to do or maybe he wants you to share your struggles and pain. Humbling yourself can be very vulnerable and scary and sometimes painful. But someone who humbles themselves for God will never be casted down. God honours those who honour him.

 

Matthew 23:12  Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.

James 4:10  Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.

The Kind of Friend I Want to Be.

I used to hold my friends too tightly always afraid they would leave me.

But God showed me I must hold people with a lose hand. Loving everyone deeply but stop trying to trying to fit people in the place in my heart that only God can fill.

Learning this I found I could love people in a deeper way than ever before because my dependence was now in Christ not in those around me.

I want to be a friend that doesn’t lay unrealistic expectations.

I want to be a friend that shows people I care.

I want to be a friend that never gives up.

I want to be a friend that believes in free will and never pressurises or guilts people  into doing things for me.

I want to be a true friend

Please God help me to be this kind of friend.

Life Seasons

Its a beautiful spring day here in New Zealand. The kind of day that makes you want to do nothing but sit in the sun with a good book. New flowers are blooming everywhere and new life seems to be popping up all around. Winter days seem a distant memory now with the promise of summer in the air. Its like that with our lives.

Winter

God takes us through winter seasons where life becomes difficult as he moulds our hearts through quietness and stillness.

Spring

Then at long last comes Spring, a time of open doors, exciting new adventure just waiting to be had.

Summer

The summer season is a time where God has many jobs for us to do and we are busy doing his work and out there spreading his love and touching lives.

Autumn 

Than comes Autumn, a time of harvest where we see many blessings and answered prayers.

Each season is important for our growth and rest. Each season has its own joys and sorrows and with each season God is always near by helping us walk this journey called life.

Ecclesiastes 3:1

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:

It takes courage to ask for help.

2 Corinthians 12:9

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

When Healing Doesn’t Come.

We pray for healing, pray that God will make us strong again. We hear stories of miracles of people being healed. We know God is a God of healing but what if healing never comes. The last few months I begged God for healing. I prayed and prayed that he would heal me for the illness that my body was fighting.

Some say you have to have more faith and it will happen. The doctor says you will have to be on medication for the rest of your life. That it looks like you will never be healed. Why God have you let this happen we cry. Heal me, I have served you and obeyed you. But the healing never comes. The pain stays.

Suddenly I see it!! This whole time I have been looking at it wrong!! This is my calling, God has asked me to walk this road! Sickness is not fun but he can use it to teach me so much and to reach out to others who suffer pain. Changing my mindset gives me a passion, a goal, a hope. Sickness doesn’t define me. God defines me. Sickness doesn’t drag me down, God calls me and says my child I have a job for you!!

Dreams

Having dreams I believe is so important. Change begins with a dream, a thought. My dreams have been big and small, they have changed, grown and some had to be laid down over the years. God has said no to dreams and others he has opened amazing doors for.  My dream now is to make a change in this world. To be used to change lives for Christ. God wants to use us and when he sees a willing heart he smiles. He wants to use our hopes and dreams for his purpose and plan. No dream is to small or silly, likewise no dream is to big because in Christ all things are possible!

My dream is to be all God created me to be!

Whats your dream? I would love to hear it.

Rest.

Ever since starting my ministry and writing my book. The Devil has a new line that he loves to throw me and it goes like this. 

“If you ever stop and just rest, everything will fall to bits around you. You only have yourself to rely on, so you better work yourself to death because everything you care about will crumble if you don’t. “

Ever heard that one? There is often heaps of guilt thrown in with this one so that when you do rest for just a moment the feeling of failure can be unbearable.

The truth is we are not going to be able to keep reaching out to people if we don’t rest. We are human and we need to look after ourselves so that we can look after others. The people you are reaching out to that you love, God can and will carry them even when you can’t. They matter even more to him than they even do to us. 

Dare to rest. Decided to take that week off and rest because God believes in rest thats why he created the 7th day.

 

Miracle of My Book “Hidden Struggles”

October last year God put on my heart to write a book, a book about struggles, purity, relationships and so much more. I never imagined myself writing a book, for one thing I have quite shocking spelling, I have dyslexia and I hated talking about relationships and struggles while all the other girls in the room would be chatting about boys I kept my thoughts to myself. I was so shy around boys I could barely look them in the eyes what advice would I have to share? God keep nudging me, write a book from your heart, be open and honest. So I did. Fast forward to June 2013 God opened a door for me to get my book published and by October my book will released one year from the time I  started writing it. Can’t believe God would want to use my voice. When I worry if anyone will be encouraged my book, I hear God’s voice saying I called you to do this and I will use it just how it is. To the one who is reading this I really want to encourage you that God can use you!! No matter who you are! Just be willing and amazing things will happen!