Rachel Hamilton's Blog, page 5

Perfection.

This  has been hard for me to write. I have spent hours staring at my computer screen.

I wanted to write about perfection and I’m struggling to put pen to paper. Coincidence I think not.

My Mum has given me a lot of advice over the years, and one thing that stuck with me is the words. “Rachel if a jobs worth doing it’s worth doing badly.

I hear you say “Wow that doesn’t sound right.”

Let me explain, I’m not talking about being a lazy employee, I’m talking about any ambition, goal or project you may have started. Maybe it’s an art project, a book you want to publish, renovation of a house, even a crazy new invention.

It’s so easy to get overwhelmed by perfection. Everywhere we look we are told to be perfect. Must have perfect grades, perfect family. Always aim for the glamorous career. Must look like the model in the magazine.

Perfection has stolen so much, our joy, our freedom. So many hopes and desires have died because of the fear of failure.

So we never follow our dreams, or we get half way and give up because it’s not picture perfect.

I often wonder how many of the great inventions were originally planned to be something else. How many inventions never finished because they didn’t match the inventers idea of perfect.

What if the famous paintings were disappointments to the artists and we have missed out on many great works of art because they were destroyed because the search for perfection was just to high.

A couple of years ago I decided to write a book, I struggle with dyslexia and was told by my teacher in college that I would never get anywhere in life with my spelling, so to write a book seemed imposable. But I decided to give it ago.

It was hard, disheartening and scary.

Words didn’t always flow. Tears were shed.

Paper was thrown.

I struggled with getting my thoughts down, even with understanding myself at times.

I spent days editing and rewriting.

The day my book went live was one of the scariest days of my life.

I knew my book was far from perfect. I knew that even with all the editing, mistakes were going to be found. But it was too important to me to let fear of failure kill my dream. The first time I held my book I was to afraid to read it, incase my imperfections were in permanent ink and they were. But I had succeed because I had finished the project. Completed the race.

People have written me unkind letters, told me they couldn’t review my book because of how much errors they found. But its ok. I am proud that I followed through with my dream.

If something is worth doing it’s worth doing badly. It’s worth the mess. If it’s worth beginning, then its worth finishing even if it doesn’t quite match the picture in your head.

A project worth doing may take longer than you imagine. Many of my dreams and goals I have given up on because I rushed ahead with great energy only to find that they couldn’t be completed in my time frame, so I gave up. Instead of rushing in I should have taken it step by step.

If you have a dream chase it, accept that reality it may look bad, but remember there is success in finishing what you have started.

You may found a hidden talent along the way. You may find that it does turn out perfectly.

Don’t compare your half done job to someone else’s finished product, because you will always end up feeling inferior. I am sure even the greatest works of art looked horrible half way though.

Even if your dream doesn’t turn out the way you imagined , stand tall, be proud of yourself that you had a go.

Sometimes success simply means doing your best and accepting the outcome.

Dear Hurting Friend.

Staring at my computer screen wondering what to write.

I want to say something encouraging, but the words just don’t seem right.

How do you say to someone hurting that you understand their pain? How do you let them know the sun will shine again.

Can I say “I understand” or will they turn away because to them it seems I would never know how deep the sorrow goes.

It isn’t right to say “Just trust God more.” or “Just accept his will.”

So I say the only words I know.

“I care, I see, I’m praying for you.

Your pain is hard, your struggle real.

Your journey long.

You are brave, you are strong.

I may not be able to hug you tight, but I am holding you with all my prayers tonight.

You.

You’re drowning in your insecurities.

Wishing you were someone else.

You wonder if people see you the way you see yourself.

Ugly, damaged, cover in scars both physical and emotional.

The devil handed you glasses and you looked through them and saw failure, worthlessness, hopelessness.

It hurts me so much to know how blind your eyes are to your beauty and worth.

Take the glasses off, look with the eyes of the creator who hand-crafted you.

You will see worth, beauty, loveliness, hope, you will see an inspirational vessel used by God to touch thousands of lives.

You are altogether lovely my darling there is no fault in you.

Why am I a Christian?

Why I am a Christain?

Is it the fear of hell?

Is it the fear of judgement?

Do I aim to live a pure life because of rules?

Do I turn away from sin because God is watching and he could punish me?

Do I try and be kind, loving, and forgiving to earn my way into Heaven?

No.

The only reason I am a Christian is because of relationship.

The deep need to be understood and loved deeply.

Why am I a Christian?

 I want a friend that will never leave me no matter how horrible I may be.
On those lonely painful night’s I want someone to hold me.
I want a love deeper than human love.
I want to belong.

Why don’t I want to live a sinful life?

I want to make Christ proud
To hear the words “Well done good and faithful servant.”
To be a light
To have blameless life.

I am a Christian because someone loved me enough to give his life to save mine.

I am a Christian because of love.

Dear Friend

Some days are going to be hard, its ok.

Some days you will feel weak, accept it.

Sometimes you’ll feel less than beautiful, know that you are a work of art.

Words can cut so deep, remember you are not defined by those hurtful voices.

Painful memories can resurface, remember you are loved and held by a God who restores.

Keep hold of hope, better things are yet to come.

Never forget how much the world needs you.

You are ok just the way you are.

Pursuing Innocence

I want to be innocent.

Not naive, not stupid to the dangers and evils of this world.

Not gullible or easily fooled.

But like verse Matthew 10:16 says “I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.

I want to keep my eyes from things that defile me.

To fight to keep my mind, thoughts and body pure.

To pursue innocence and purity means I will be called ignorant, I will be laughed at, mocked.

But that’s ok.

My innocence has and will be damaged, because of the world we live in, but I KNOW God’s love and forgiveness restores what is lost or stolen.

So join me, my friend, no matter who you are, no matter what has happened in your life, God wants you to know pure sweet innocence.

In the desert

I’ve walked in the desert, looking for the water of God’s peace.

Trying so hard to see the city of his joy.

Heart breaking to see it was only a mirage.

Sometimes the harder I try to hear his voice, the deafer I become.

I want that inspiring relationship with him that all my heros have.

Instead my story often opens with me cry under the covers, pleading for him to hold me near.

I question his presence, disobey his comanmends, hate his will.

He finds me.

Our specail place turns out to be in the basment of my heart where the greed, sin, and shame rise high around me.

He meets me there, sits in the dust of broken dreams working on his beautiful story thats all about me.

My journey with Christ begins in the desert of hopelessness.

He finds my heart drowning in the waters of pain.

He tells me even in the desert he holds me,

I’m not a Feminist, I’m a warrior princess.

I’m that girl searching for equality.

Struggling to find the balance between feminism and feminine.

I’m not that man hater, the one that thinks men are stupid.

I’m not the one that thinks women should have put their children into childcare just so they can pursue wealth, fame and fortune.

Believe me, I don’t want to be cold and bitter, I am not aiming to become better than men.

I just want equality.

Just want the voice’s in my head to stop telling me I am not enough.

Want to know I am able to be strong, brave and beautiful all at the same time.

I found equality in the highlighted pages of my bible.

God told me in his eyes men and women are equal.

He told me I can stop trying to prove that I’m enough.

All I need to do is embrace his purpose for my life.

When I walk in Christ’s will, there I find equality.

No matter the place he calls me to stand.

I am enough.

I’m not a feminist, I’m a warrior princess.

My Humble Job, God’s Perfect Will.

I always wanted a job that saved lives. I wanted to be that doctor who cured the sick, that nurse that healed the hurt.

But God said no.

He said it wasn’t his perfect will for me.

So my dreams died.

I wanted to be that one that left her comfort zone and went to far away lands, taking care of the orphans and widows.

So I boarded a ship and went and worked with orphans.

I asked God could I stay here and change theses lives.

It was such a beautiful dream but God said no.

So my heart broke.

God’s will for me turned out to be nothing glamorous, its never going to make me famous or overly rich.

It’s simple job.

Work in housekeeping in a hotel.

Not many are going to envy me as I clean toliets.

But its beautiful and fulfiling because God choose it for me.

I get to daily be a quiet witness for Christ.

To me it’s one of the greatest things I could do because God said this is were you are meant to be.

So I give my all, doing what I can to be the best I can.

Give a smile, spead kindness.

So I stand proud of my humble job..

I stand proud to be in the centre of God’s will!!

Success

We may never feel that we have made it in life.

Chances are we will always feel like a failure in some area.

So that’s why we must learn to embrace the journey.

Learn to love the mess of living life.

Dig deeper and learn to see all the amazing things we are doing.

And remember obeying God is the most successful thing we will ever do.