Christopher C. Payne's Blog, page 33

The Passage

The Passage by Justin Cronin, was recommended to me by my favorite book store on Burlingame Ave.  They know I have a dark side and suggested this book as being right up my line.  Overall I enjoyed the book, but I was surprised by the editing issues, missing words and mixed up sentences.  Mostly in the beginning, but I would have thought a book as promoted as this one would have been more polished.  OK, everyone can stop laughing now.  I realize this might be funny coming from me, but it was a little annoying.

The Passage is broken up into two distinct parts.  You walk through the first three hundred pages in today's current environment.  The military funded scientists are doing their dastardly deeds and setting us all up for something, we just can't quite figure out what.  Wolgast, an aging FBI agent is the primary focus as he rolls through the country picking up 12 distinct prisoners.  These twelve have been chosen because they are on death row, have nothing left to live for and are ripe for some experimental fun.  I have one question to all of the mad scientists in the world; why in the hell do you always pick prisoners to experiment on.  They are bad people, that is why they are in prison.

In addition to the twelve, a small six year old girl is chosen.  Now it is one thing to mess with death row inmates but when you bring in a small child, and a girl for that matter, you are pulling the shoe strings that hold the tear ducts closed for most of America.  So they inject this group of subjects with some radical virus and, wait for it, they transform into some freaky gruesome creatures, except for the small girl.  We don't really know what she turns into.  And get this, Cronin, in some sick twisted turn of fate, chooses to use child molesters as his janitors in the storyline.  This guy might have a mind more twisted than even mine.

So I really don't want to give anything away, and I am pretty sure this next part is pretty well know.  The world implodes and the creatures commence killing off all mankind.  Interestingly enough, they kill off only 9 out of 10 people.  Each tenth person gets to join the gang and become one of them.  They don't have a choice, they just get turned.  It is an interesting twist on vampires as a genre and I for one think it is much more entertaining than anything remotely related to twilight.  Monsters are monsters, let them kill people and stop kissing for God's sake.

The last 500 pages or so concentrate on the world after the apocalyptic destruction.  We jump to an outpost of a few humans who have walled themselves into a compound and have created their own little existence.  I had some issues with the volume in this area.  In one chapter, when the lights were getting ready to go out, we read what was happening from 5 different perspectives.  It got mundane and was difficult to muddle through.  I think Cronin lost some momentum by inundating us with some needless information.  Just my two cents, but I think the book would have been better served being edited down.

Peter is the main character in our post destruction phase and you really bond with this young man as he struggles with settlement politics, fights with the normal manly desires all while keeping watch against the virils.  The virils are constantly probing the perimeter waiting for any chance to chow down on some tasty human flesh.  I will say this about Cronin; he has no problem with killing off people in his novels.  I believe I can say this without giving too much away, nobody is safe; anyone can die at any point in time.

I really did enjoy this book.  It is very dark, deeply disturbing at times and a wonderfully written.  With some editing and purging it could have been perfectly magnificent but as it stands I would give it a solid 4 stars.  Anyone who enjoys a decent horror novel and vampires as they should be written, this is a must read.  I can't wait to read his next book in this series.  He left things pretty wide open for more books than Harry Potter has movies.  He could just keep going and going with this story and I for one hope he does.

Brynn, why do today what you can do tomorrow!

Wow, I wrote that title and after reading it again I am wondering how many things you could infer with that statement.  Oh come on, are you really slow or am I just not putting enough effort into it.  I tried like heck……  Look at that, we really are PG13, I don't care what all the head honchos in the women's club say.  National really should put more effort into promoting reading instead of letting their jealousy get the better of them.  Damn, now what was I talking about.  Oh Yah…..

I tried to find out Brynn's last name, but it seems to have eluded me.  I am serious.  I looked around for a good 2 to 3 minutes and I couldn't find it, so I gave up.  Maybe I will try again tomorrow, she is obviously worth a little effort.  Not that I am procrastinating.  After reading the article in The New Yorker about putting things off, I, well, let's be honest.  I meant to read the article, but figured I could read it tomorrow.  I am a little busy today, watching TV and eating chips and stuff.  I have a full agenda dude.

It isn't like I am insulting people.  Damn, how long has it been since I insulted Catholics.  Maybe when I found out I had to convert in order to marry my girlfriend I decided to give them a break.  Yes, she is Catholic, what is the world coming to.  We let those people do anything don't we.  Crap, I met to say us people.  Hahaha, I will be one of them someday, if they will have me I guess.

Please, it isn't like I work for Universal.  Now why would they want to insult gay people?  Not that I am gay.  Wait; can you be Catholic and gay?  I might have to look into that.  Not that I have a problem with it, but you know those religious women, always complaining about website links and beautiful women.

Damn, now what does that have to do with homosexuality?  If you feel up for it, you can jump over to TMZ and read the article on how Universal is backpedaling by pulling their trailer from distribution.  I guess calling electric cars gay is going one step too far.  Really?  Is that really insulting?  Aren't electric cars a little bit gay?  Damn, I might be a little bit Catholic and that is ok.  Please people, you can be a little bit of anything.  Isn't that what college is for, experimenting and such.  Uh Oh, I bet the women in national just dropped a load when I said that one.

Sometimes I feel like a nut and sometimes I think it is ok to insult people, just get ready to reap what you sow, or is it sew.  I knew I shouldn't have had that last shot before lunch.  I have no idea what I am even writing.  In all seriousness if you throw a stone be prepared to get smacked upside the head with a ball bat.  Leave gay people alone, there is more than enough material insulting Catholics.

Farren LeNae, Life is truly like a box of jalapeño peppers!

Isn't it great how spicy life can be from time to time.  The excitement of being unemployed, (personal experience there), the joy of losing your retirement in the stock market, the thrill of seeing your ex-wife take all your money, and then telling everyone how you stole from her.  It just doesn't get much better than that.  Thank God for Farren LeNae this morning.  I am not sure I would have had the strength to get out of bed if it weren't for me running across her.  Not literally, and I am just joking honey if you are reading this.  I have to say this stuff, people won't listen to me otherwise.

So Farren LeNae will be lighting up the screen sometime soon I hope.  Still pretty unknown, it is only a matter of time.  I just can't help but wonder, since she just recently moved to the sunny state of CA, if she will continue to paint her nails.  Our esteemed elected officials in San Francisco have decided to wage war on those toxic chemicals and they are encouraging the local salons to stop using the foul smelling colorful paint.  This is all according to the Mercury News, which is actually quoting an article from The San Francisco Chronicle.

Now, which group should we lambast the hardest for spending so much time on something so stupid.  God only knows we don't have bigger issues, like feeding the homeless, or even figuring out how to house the homeless.  We get to have our San Francisco city officials wasting time, then The San Francisco Chronicle reporting it, then The Mercury New reporting that it was reported.  I am going to give the prize to The Mercury News.  Why in the hell would you buy a paper that can't even report on the news.  Do we really need to report on the news that was reported?

Maybe if they were experimenting more sexually then they wouldn't frolic so heavily in the stupidity of life.  You laugh?  Ha, well the last guffaw will be on you.  According to The LA Times, we Americans are starting to branch out sexually.  What, you say?  Seriously?  They are reporting on a survey that apparently monitors our sexual activity and we are branching out with some of the experimental stuff.  Not for any sordid reasons though.  I guess we are all just scared of catching HIV and STD's so we are forgoing the main event for some peripheral activities.

Now, don't you wonder how much money we spent on that survey, and does this mean that more men are going to end up going blind?

Sometimes I feel like a nut and sometime it seems, to me anyway, if we pooled all of the wasted money being spent in the United States, (can anyone say Meg Whitman), we might actually have enough money to spend on educating our children.  Just a thought.  I know, I am stupid for even suggesting it.  Those damn kids don't need decent schools, they might grow up and actually work on fixing our broken society.  What would we do then?

Things have got to change

Tonight was a special night for me. Through a series of circumstances, I got a big treat: I was able to rock both of my children at the same time at bedtime. That's never happened, and I don't bank that it will ever happen again.

But as I sat in the Laz-y-Boy with Little Man on my left side and Big Girl on my right, my thoughts drifted from what a lucky mom I am to have two beautiful, healthy, bright children to all of the horrible stories flooding the news about bullying. These stories chill my soul when I think about my children getting closer and closer to school-age.

Like many of you out there, I was subjected to some bullying as a child. I wasn't popular. I was more than a bit of a Goody-Two-Shoes. Loving Husband still calls me Lisa Simpson. So, being the dorky, smart kid made me a pretty good target. The worst it ever got — and granted, this is still bad — was that in sixth grade, a girl threatened to beat me up. The ordeal lasted for about two or so weeks, I think, and then, it went away. My mom got involved, the assistant principal stepped in, and it stopped.

Not to sound old (because I'm not, truly), but what is wrong with kids these days? Yes, I get it that things are, indeed, different now. Social networking and the Internet give kids the power to taunt, tease, and terrorize their classmates at any time. Even in their homes, children subject to bullying aren't able to escape and relax. Worst of all, any of it can be anonymous. All of it gives bullies, who are by definition, cowards, the ability to torture their victims in an even more cowardly way. It all makes me nauseated.

My question — and certainly the question on many peoples' minds — is what are we going to do about it?

With more and more young people taking their own lives because the ones they are leading are filled with fear and sadness, we, as a society, can no longer sit by and tell ourselves that bullying is part of growing up — that "kids will be kids." Our inaction has clearly given kids the impression that it is okay to make others feel inferior, to scare them, to make them have physical reactions to the unease that haunts them awake or asleep.

How did we fail as a group to teach kids that targeting someone because of their race, gender, sexual identity or any other reason is abhorrent and unacceptable. Perhaps I am delusional, but I was under the impression, that even though homosexuals still unfortunately face discrimination from some population pockets, cultural opinion as a whole was far more enlightened. Isn't it supposed to be the younger generation that is more open-minded and progressive than their parents? What has happened?

I suppose the answer to that question is only important in trying to identify all of the problem spots that we need to address. But, first and foremost, parents need to wake up. Any of us could suddenly find ourselves as the parent of a bullied child or as the parent of the bully. Neither is a good position. It isn't enough anymore to say that we'll cross that bridge if and when it comes. Waiting to talk to a child about the importance of treating others with kindness and respect or hoping a bullied child will open up and talk about their experiences is simply naive.

At the risk of sounding corny, how about we start having conversations? How about we start paying attention to what's actually going on in our kids' lives? How about, rather than being so afraid that we'll unduly influence our kids by telling them what to do, we do the correct parental thing and actually tell them what they absolutely can't do for once?

Tiffany Selby, What is the World Coming to….

I feel like I have to walk a fine line in life on most occasions.  People chastise me for promoting models on our publishing site and I for one say, well, I like models.  I happen to like books as well, but I think there is a place in life for all forms of artistic talent, modeling being one of my favorites.  We are a site that embraces all forms of talent and Tiffany Selby has load and loads of it.  I woke up this morning wondering what loads and loads meant, and I was rewarded with Tiffany.  Not literally of course.  All I do is use my laptop for writing about the artistic endeavors of others.

I might have to be careful about using my laptop too often though.  Damn, not because my mother told me using my laptop too often can cause blindness either.  According to CBSNews.com toasted skin syndrome is the latest affliction to overtake the geek's bedroom.  I guess it is a good thing that something is overtaking the geek's bedroom, but if you saw some of these dudes' legs you would stop laughing.  It really is an issue when the laptop starts frying your skin.  Don't stop and ask what these guys are viewing on the internet that makes them so hot and bothered, it doesn't matter in the end.  It is no laughing matter.

Well, it might be slightly humorous.  Wouldn't you lift the laptop off your legs if it were beginning to burn you?  I mean it isn't like the government is forcing you to look at gorgeous models on the internet.  Our fabulous officials don't force us to do anything.  We head down to the third world countries and test our ideas out on minorities apparently.  According to The Chicago Sun Times we are really sorry for injecting all those Guatemalan prisoners with syphilis.  Yes, I guess we wanted to see how things worked and what better way than on some inmates, in another country.

I realize we live in a pretty good country, and I am not bad mouthing our elected officials, but please people.  Is there ever a time or place to actively give people a STD?  If we really need a study done on STD's just enlist a bunch of middle aged divorce men who have recently taken trips to Thailand and or possibly Argentina.  Actually just enlist any middle aged man who frequents the massage parlors, even if they are married.  Yes ladies, most of those places actually do engage in some extracurricular activities, no matter what your husband says.  Anything would be better than force feeding syphilis down somebody's throat.

Sometimes I feel like a nut and sometimes even I am surprised by what a few blowhards decide is morally correct as they sit in their lounge chairs sipping Scotch and smoking stogies.  Hey, I have an idea, let's give syphilis to everyone currently in Congress and see what happens.  Damn, I guess that would be pointless.  Most of them probably have some form of STD already.  Aren't you required to use illegal immigrants as house servants if you are an elected official?

Ryan Leigh, what a day!

Ryan Leigh is just what I needed on a day that started out poorly and went downhill fast.  First, the website was down from overuse.  Yes, we had too many people viewing it the last couple of weeks, so our hosting site shut us down.  What is the moral of that story?  I actually have no idea.  I thought the intent behind posting a blog was having people visit the damn thing.  What do I know?  Then, after the site went down, the dudes running the hosting company took over 5 hours to get back to me.  When I tried to contact them via phone, none of the numbers worked.  Makes you wonder what kind of a business they are running.

So the site was down for 12 hours and it drove me insane.  I am not the most patient of men in the world.  So who swoops in to save the day?  Ryan Leigh.  Nothing like have somebody as gorgeous as her lift your spirits, but the antics of the morning do make you wonder what kind of world we live in.  A world for instance where "Jersey Shore" star Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi might write a book you say……  No, that could never happen.  But alas, according to Access Hollywood, it is.  I had to pick myself up off of the floor when I read that.  Damn, and reportedly she has only read two books, in her life.  Does anyone really want to buy a novel written by this, who is she again?

My guess is there are a few family members in Ohio that might read this literary atrocity.  According to CNN, an entire clan rented out a hall for a 3 year olds birthday party.  They then got roaring drunk, and all of them got into a brawl.  Something about the ex-wife's new boyfriend running off at the mouth.  Now I am only speaking from personal experience here, but if my ex-wife actually got a boyfriend, I wouldn't care what in the hell the guy said.  I would just be happy she had found somebody.  If that woman could possibly find a spark of happiness in the world maybe she would stop trying to make my life a living hell.

Can anyone see the wrong in a bunch of dudes launching broken beer bottles at each other, while brawling, at a 3 year old girl's birthday party?  I swear, we have all fallen into the pit of hell and we don't seem to be able to get up.  Maybe we need that clicker from late night TV to shock us back to our senses.  Hopefully the child won't be able to remember her daddy getting hauled off to jail while she is crying about not blowing out the candles on her birthday cake.  I wonder what Grandma and Grandpa were doing.  God only knows.  They were probably launching spitballs from the balcony.

Sometimes I feel like a nut, but sometimes I thank God that I am literally not one.  God only knows the world has enough freaky people in it already.

Natalie McGhie, Can She Sing!

The first thing I might ask is where the spelling comes from for Natalie McGhie.  I do well to spell the simple words; don't get me started with the oddities in life.  That is the reason I write blogs posts.  Nobody reads the words to begin with; they only look at the pictures.  Ahh, now in that realm, Natalie McGhie is doing just fine.  She seems to have parlayed her looks into a budding career.  Hopefully we will continue to see her in more things to come.  Maybe Glee for instance.

As Tuesday rolls around my favorite nighttime musical is on its second episode.  I have heard the rumors that we will be seeing Britney Spears in this one.  It will be interesting to see if she has screwed her head snuggly back on her body.  Nothing like going bald to prove you are sane.  Not that there is anything wrong with being bald, or insane for that matter.  I might end up there as well someday, but it won't be without a fight.  I say lop on whatever products you can if it makes you feel better about yourself.  Why not.  Even Nestle is getting into the health kick.

According to The Associated Press, Nestle is making a move in the medical nutrition field.  Now I am all for broadening your horizons, but do I really associate cookies and candy bars with a healthy trend.  It is hard enough for me to keep my weight under control as it is.  Don't start telling me that my Mr. Goodbar is a nutritional supplement.  God only knows where I will end up.  I guess I could stop caring and if I became bald and overweight, I might at least enjoy the ride.  Maybe now is the perfect time to break into that uplifting musical and tell me everything is going to be ok.  I sound depressing, even to myself.

I have to admit it is hard for me to watch normal TV after Glee.  I keep asking myself why the main characters of every series don't sing a show tune every ten minutes.  If things are going down, belt out a song from Pink Floyd and everything will look a little brighter…….  Well, maybe that isn't the best example, unless you are really really feeling down.  Pink Floyd just isn't the most uplifting, but it is damn good music.

Sometimes I feel like a nut and sometimes I feel like a healthy snack.  Anyone have some chocolate?  Does it have the nuts inside?  Nuts are healthy, right.

Sunny Days in San Francisco

I found out a surprising fact recently: Mark Twain did not infamously quote "the coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco". Either way, the quote is dead on. Lucky for me, I spent the summer in Costa Rica and missed out on the chilly fog that filled the city all summer long. Luckier still, I am back in San Francisco just in time for Indian summer.

There really is nothing like a sunny day in San Francisco. Everyone is out and about and in a good mood. All the girls are wearing ...

Adriana Lima, Another Saturday Morning.

As I wake up at 4 AM not able to sleep on yet another Saturday morning I really begin to question my sanity.  It is just too early to be up.  Isn't this the day we should all be sleeping in.  I then perused through some past posts on JournalStone and realized I have never written anything on Adriana Lima.  Now it could be that I am just too tired to actually find it, but if it is true, and I think it is, the travesty shall never be lived down.  This is Adriana Lima we are talking about.  How ...

Mindi Smith, too much to talk about!

Have you ever had one of those days where there were too many things to talk about.  You had to sit back and pick your battles so to speak.  When I came across Mindi Smith over on COED Magazine I couldn't help but wonder if my hands were really that small, or was I just too hung over from the night before.  If I am telling the truth I was also wondering if she were at all related to Granny Smith.  Isn't that the lady that makes those green apples?  You see, it is hard to keep up with my mind ...