Gary L. Thomas's Blog, page 19

The Most Delightful of All Disciplines

In this short video, Gary shares about and reads some short excerpts from two of his favorite classics, meshed together as one. Some of the disciplines require great sacrifice and effort, but this one, while not easy, is certainly one of the most delightful. It leads to great joy and delight in God. 

Watch on Substack HERE.

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The One Thing That Matters Most When You Choose to Marry Someone

I haven’t addressed singles who are seeking to get married in a while, so this post is designed to point them to the one thing they should never compromise on.

I want to make a near-promise to you; it’s not absolute, but it’ll be true over 90% of the time: if two believers go to a counselor or pastor with a problematic marital issue, and both of them are earnestly seeking first God’s Kingdom and righteousness (Matthew 6:33), even if that couple isn’t particularly well matched, they can enjoy a rich, meaningful and fulfilling marriage. They may never agree about certain things, and their personalities may never be an “easy” mix, but they can build a family and forge a healthy and even enjoyable partnership.

Continue reading over on Substack HERE.

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Crucified by Christians

Is it okay to write a blog post without being certain of your conclusion?

May I present the argument of a fellow writer and admit at the end, “I’m not entirely sure where I stand on his main premise?” If that won’t bother you, read on!

Gene Edwards’ Crucified by Christians is a compelling call to make the most of unfair treatment, especially when it is meted out by others who call themselves believers. It is thought-provoking and challenging, but I’m not entirely sure where I stand with his basic premise (or at the very least, the universality of his premise). So I’m going to state his case, and then talk at the end about what makes me a little uneasy. I’d love to get your take on this as well in the comments section.

Continue reading this blog over on Substack HERE.

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Calling Out the Five Foxes That Sabotage Your Marriage

What if there are five dynamics in your marriage that you’re not even aware of that are destroying your intimacy and connection as a couple? Most of you probably don’t have all five going on at once, but Lisa and I recognized a couple harmful dynamics from the five that can work in the background and slowly wreak havoc in our marriage. 

These five “foxes” were pointed out in a book (yet to be published) written by Dr. Jennifer Schwirzer and David Asscherick, Try This at Home: Marriage. In a particularly strong chapter, they examine six foxes (we only had time in the video to address five of them) that often get under the fences of our marriage and start stealing the “grapes” of satisfaction and intimacy. 

Lisa and I spend time talking about these foxes because we found the information to be so practical. Plus, I have to admit, I like the idea of a pastor writing a book with a female counselor! The dynamic works for them as well as I believe it worked for Debra Fileta and me. 

If you can, I highly recommend you watch this with your spouse, and spend time talking about each of the foxes. Doing so could be a powerful exercise in rooting out an unhealthy dynamic that may be undercutting your satisfaction and connection in marriage.

Watch this video on Substack HERE.

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The Indispensable Christian Trait

When I was a much younger man, I got to have dinner at the house of a then-hero of mine. About a decade prior, I had heard him give a talk at a “Jesus Fair” (you have to be a certain age even to know what those things were) when I was in college, and can still remember, to this day, what he preached about. How many sermons have I heard and forgotten? Thousands, perhaps. Why does this one stay with me, even forty years later?

At the dinner a decade later, he thanked me profusely for writing Seeking the Face of God (now, rewritten and re-released as Thirsting for God) and told me the chapter on humility was worth the price of the book. I soared hearing those words from him! I was an unknown author at the time, who appreciated every single sale because they added up so slowly. The fact that I had written anything, however ignored, that caught his attention, gave me even more motivation to continue writing.

When I rewrote Seeking the Face of God (to become Thirsting for God), my instructions were to make each chapter shorter, so the original chapter on humility is now broken up into six chapters, but this week I’m sharing the opening section that explains how central the practice of humility is to a true Christian faith.

People often ask me what my favorite book is (of those I have written). That’s impossible for me to answer, but three—Sacred Marriage, Sacred Pathways, and Thirsting for God—will always have a special place in my heart. I do hope you’re enjoying some of these excerpts from Thirsting for God, and would love to hear your comments.

Continue reading this blog over on Substack HERE.

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God Can Use You to Transform the Marriages in Your Church

Do you want to make an investment in the marriages in your local church? You don’t need to have a perfect marriage to do so. You don’t need to be a commanding speaker. It just takes a small amount of initiative.

I’m not sure why I sat on this for so long, but years ago, I received an email that shows how one couple with a vision to enrich the marriages in their church can have such a huge impact.

Continue reading over on Substack HERE.

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Distinguishing Between Toxic People and Toxic Acts

Last Friday we posted a sermon I gave at Cherry Hills on the most common attacks toxic people level against those who are determined to seek first the Kingdom of God (Matthew 6:33). You can find that sermon HERE. Because of limited time on a Sunday morning, I wanted to add a little bit of spiritual counsel distinguishing between toxic acts and toxic people. That’s what this short video is all about. 

Click HERE to watch this video over on Substack.

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Don’t Let Toxic People Take You Down

Last Sunday, in our journey through the book of Nehemiah, I was asked to preach on Nehemiah 4-6, which I entitled “Don’t Let the Toxic People Take You Down.” I wrote about these chapters in my book When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People so I had a good head start on the sermon. I also preached on Nehemiah 3 the week before, about how every person’s life and obedience matters. If you care to watch that sermon first, you can go directly to Cherry Hill’s website (CHCC.org). When preaching on Nehemiah 3, I stressed that we are all called to do what God has created us to do to participate in building “the wall.” This week, on Nehemiah 4-6, we looked at how it is certain that when you take up the charge to fulfill your call, toxic people will arise to oppose you.

Getting this down to 35 minutes was excruciating, so I’ve taped another video that we’ll show on the paid side this coming Wednesday, where I spend a little more time distinguishing between toxic people, and relatively healthy people who occasionally veer into toxic acts. There’s a difference between toxic people and toxic acts, and it’s crucial to make that distinction. 

In case you didn’t know, free subscribers are now able to leave comments, so feel free to do so if you’d like to start a discussion.

Watch this sermon HERE.

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The Absurdity of Sin

This post is part of a continuing look at the teaching of the Christian classics, from my book Thirsting for God. One of the insights that helped me most in my pursuit of holiness was seeing just how absurd it is that we would ever choose sin. When Paul tells us to be transformed by the renewing of our minds, it helps to simply realize the absurdity of ever turning to sin.

The desire to live a holy life is an ancient one; indeed, the writers of the Christian classics were all but obsessed with walking in purity. Their first lesson to contemporary Christians who perhaps desire it with less intensity would focus on the reasons why holiness is worth the effort. They would want us to understand the absurdity of sin.

Julian of Norwich describes sin this way: “The sharpest scourge that any chosen soul can be struck with, it is a scourge which lashes men and women so hard, and batters them and destroys them.”   Fénelon pointed out that sin is self-defeating. “We refuse ourselves to God, who only wants to save us. We give ourselves up to the world, which only wants to tyrannize over us and destroy us.”   Venning agrees: “Sin promises like a God but pays like a Devil.”  

What do these testimonies mean? Away with the self-serving testimonies that sound as if we do God a favor by repenting of our sin! God does us a favor by making us hate the sin that destroys us, by giving us the will to fight it, and by offering His grace to forgive it.

Quotes like these also remind us that if sin is a rat, we should start treating it like a rat. If you didn’t want rats to break into your house, you wouldn’t leave out food for them, and you would plug up any holes through which they might enter. If you were unable to keep them out on your own, you’d ask for advice or get some help. If you truly hated rats, you’d go to great lengths to get rid of them.

But how often do we accommodate sin, feed its desires, and treat it in the aftermath as a casual or minor mistake? We don’t take sin as seriously as did the devotional writers of centuries ago.

Continue reading over on Substack HERE.

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Persevering in a Marriage That Tries Your Patience

What would you say is one of the three most important qualities that you need to build a lifelong love in your marriage?

Give me just three.

I’d love to hear your comments after you read this.

One of the three qualities I believe is most essential for a lifelong love is perseverance. Your spouse’s fallenness and weakness will, at times, try your patience. There may even be times when you wonder if it’s worth it to keep pursuing your spouse. Marriage is not a one-time decision: “I do.” That’s a wedding, not a marriage. A marriage is built on an ongoing proclamation, “I said I do and now I will.”

Read this blog HERE on Substack.

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