Erika Lust's Blog, page 8
March 24, 2011
I'll show you mine
Well, I'm not really going to show you my "Coochie-Coo" am I. I'm going to talk to you about Wrenna Robertson's book "I'll show you mine".
Its goal is simple: show the vagina as it is, without shame, without feeling ill-at-ease nor uncomfortable.
The independent Show Off Books publishing house presented it as an educational book, so it has nothing to do with art or erotica. It is purely and simply a compilation of 120 photos of "Flower pots", of women's "hoo-has", with hair, without, big, small, pink, black…
Editor / stripper Wrenna Robertson decided to write this book when she found out about the more and more popular trend of labiaplasty: "The most surprising trend I have seen is the growing number of women seeking labiaplasty, which is the surgical reduction of the inner labia for cosmetic reasons.". And she blames most of it on mainstream pornography for setting wrong sexual views and thus, for having a bad influence on the youth. I have to say many mainstream porn sets and actors usually look really artificial and result in men being self-conscious about their penis and in women being complexed with their body and even intimate parts! There is no ideal body, there are just people feeling good with their "defects".
We just have to accept it, not like Stewie in that episode.
That's why it's important to support a new trend of porn showing natural people with big/small ass/breasts/vaginas… having great sex!
March 22, 2011
Yes means Yes
No means No! & YES means YES!
It sounds so easy, and still a lot of people seem to have quite some comprehension problems when it comes to this very basic point: a woman knows when she wants to fuck and when she doesn't.
An important campaign once explained that if a woman says 'No', she means 'No'. It tried to change our thinking about rape victims, tried to challenge the old cliché that she somehow must have liked it, or either at least provoked it, or tries to take revenge with the accusation, which – not hard to imagine – had and has terrible consequences for the victims. And up to today many people show those presumptions. While it improved a lot the last 50 years, another stereotype connected to it didn't. And both is based on the myth of women being too defenseless to self-determine their sexual experiences – not to mention the old joke of the woman always meaning the opposite of what she says.
Via the German Mädchenmannschaft, and then the YESmeansYES-Blog, a study with some new old insights was pointed to me. It's about studies on human behavior, on the so-called "sexual strategy" and the differences between men and women. They did experiments on who would accept the offer for casual sex, and they tried to find out what makes it more and what less likely. In the end it says less about us, than about prejudices, about our perceptions. It's the same old cliché that women would not like sex as much as men, and I am talking about sex just for one's own (literally) fucking sake. No ring on the finger, no desire for a baby, no financial or emotional dependence, no strings attached: just casual sex. Women desire to fuck just for the fuck of it. And a woman knows when she wants to, and when not. Anything unclear?
It seems so, because myths go on being on heavy rotation. In a theory where sex is a currency between the genders, with the woman using it to buy safety from the man, nowadays women would have become 'cheap', not anymore going for the big price: marriage – and also less and less for the silver medal: a long term relationship. This is a terrible perception of female sexuality, seeing it as something that has to serve men's lust: for him it's fun, so she can use it so that he stays with her.
But the evolutionary explanation disapproves in this trend, showing its cultural roots: Women choose, as men do, and as they get more and more free to choose for themselves, they don't choose as conservatives expect them to do. Some want to get married, some want long-term relationships, and some just want casual sex. Historically, the variety of possible decisions was narrower before, especially for women. But it was not because women didn't want to, but rather because it was an unaccepted behavior in a society where women were – even by law – property of men. Times have changed, and have shown that it was 'nature' in 'culture's' clothing. If it says something it doesn't do about our nature, but rather about how we see ourselves others. Due to culturally wide-spread perceptions, the results in the study analyzing the likelihood of accepting an offer to casual sex showed a gap between the numbers of men going for it, and the much more careful women. Conservatism could kick in and try to explain it with the help-seeking nature of the woman, and the man as hunter and predator. This might be true, but not because it IS in our nature, but because we THINK it was in our nature. The study showed that straight men as women perceive men as more dangerous as women, as well as strangers more dangerous than known people. Here it gets interesting: as the factor 'danger' was evened out, men as women were almost as likely to accept the offer. The factor 'danger' by the way was significant for all demographic groups studied, though the extent varied.
If at all, those studies reveal the roles that are seen as appropriate for the genders. Women and men heard all their lives women being called sluts for sleeping with many men or having casual sex, respectively men being heroes for doing so. Since little girl women hear to be careful, and not to sell themselves too cheap. It's a sign of social pressure more than of inner desires, leading to a gender specific risk-perception. And that's where we should start to reconstruct the world in a way where we all have the same possibilities to act out and enjoy our desires.
To do so, we need to learn to express it!
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March 18, 2011
Will Obama say 'I do'?
So far 33.000 people including celebrities like Anne Hathaway, Ellen DeGeneres, Martin Sheen… have already signed the petition to legalise gay marriage which will be sent to President Obama:
Dear Mr. President,
In February, you made a powerful statement about the law.
We ask you now for your leadership on ending the exclusion of same-sex couples from marriage — an exclusion that harms millions of Americans each day. Whether to end discrimination in marriage is a question America has faced before, and faces again today.
With so many Americans talking it through in heartfelt conversations, it is a question that calls for clarity from the president.
Mr. President, the time to end exclusion from marriage is now. We ask you to complete your journey and join us, and the majority of Americans, who support the freedom to marry.
In the US, 41 states still prohibit same-sex marriages, and below you can see a global map of the situation (dark blue is where it is legal, light blue is where civil unions are allowed etc)
Sometimes we might forget that homosexuals are still fighting for their rights since, for example in Barcelona and many other places, it's not a taboo anymore, but we shouldn't forget it's still against the law to marry someone of the same sex, and that's just outrageous.
So wherever you are, don't forget it…
You can know more about the initiative and sign the petition here.
via nerve.com
March 15, 2011
It's good for you!
Today Good for Her, erotic shop in Toronto and organisers of the Feminist Porn Awards, have announced the nominees for this year's awards! The guests for Public.Provocative.Porn: The Year's Best in Feminist Film are Jaiya, Carlos Batts, Cheryl Dunye and Drew Deveaux (know more about them here).
The awards will be presented on April, 15th: "Imagine a world where awards shows were interesting, uplifting, empowering and sexy? We have and made it so. The Sixth Annual Good For Her Feminist Porn Awards are sure to be unforgettable! Join us as we welcome porn stars and directors and webmasters and sex bloggers from across the land as we celebrate ethical, feminist smut."
In this video you'll be able to meet the people from Good For Her and know more about their philosophy!!
Porn for women with Good for Her * Mature… por butterscotchcom
March 11, 2011
Tumblr treats
Here a few erotic tumblrs that I'd like to share, just to have a nice time and remember that sex is for everyone to enjoy freely and shamelessly.
So enjoy! Although I wish there were more pictures of guys…
If you have an erotic tumblr site don't hesitate to share it in a comment!
March 8, 2011
Happy International Women's Day
Today is a special day for women all over the planet. For exactly 100 years, we have been celebrating the women's fight and achievements in society. It's a day for everyone to thank the people before us who made it easier for us, although the struggle is not over yet, and it's also a day to put our life into perspective and remember what it is to be a woman, and if we can help the world be a better place for everyone.
"Started as a Socialist political event, the holiday blended in the culture of many countries, primarily Eastern Europe, Russia, and the former Soviet bloc. In many regions, the day lost its political flavour, and became simply an occasion for men to express their love for women in a way somewhat similar to a mixture of Mother's Day and St Valentine's Day. In other regions, however, the original political and human rights theme designated by the United Nations runs strong, and political and social awareness of the struggles of women worldwide are brought out and examined in a hopeful manner." Wikipedia
I advise you to watch this documentary that was made to commemorate the 100th Anniversary of International Women's Day. 'On Her Shoulders' follows the history of International Women's Day and the struggles women have faced. In addition, it looks at what still needs to be achieved to ensure that gender equality can be fully realised.
So Merry International Women's day my friends!
March 3, 2011
Sex and Disability – not sexual disability
"
Disabled people are generally seen as being asexual and genderless, and images of us are largely confined to medical or charity based usage. But in fact we are as able to form relationships and live life to the full as everybody else, and we are represented in every walk of life." (cf TLC Trust)
Can disabled people be sexy? Fuck yeah. Living with a disability or an chronic illness does not necessarily affect your sexual desires and needs. What it does change is your social position when it comes to sex: it affects your access to informations, sexual partners, support for your sexual choices. Why? Stereotypes in society. Whilst we increasingly learn to understand the part of structure of society that disables people by setting up a norm and constructing everything around it, we should not forget the sex matters in this context.
Watch this great video on Sex and Disabilities.
The problem is that we think of people with disabilities almost only as people who are helpless, who need to be not only supported, but protected. They are victimized, and victimization puts you into a position where there's not much you can do about it except appealing to people's sympathy, beg for mercy and wait for people to help you. But those are acts of charity. Now charity is of course not a bad thing, but it's not a solution, it's simply an alleviation – with charity, cause and effect remain untouched, while charity itself is a side-effect of the cause it is trying to alleviate. Got it? But people with disabilities usually don't want our mercy, they want to make their own decisions.
Do you agree? Well then think about sex and you'll see that it get much more complicated. Think for instance about being in a bar and there's a good looking guy or girl, but you don't feel like starting to flirt, because this person sits in a wheelchair. A little hater pops up in your head and asks you 'what will the people think?' They'll ask themselves how strange this guy/ girl may be having the hots for disabilities, trying to take advantage of this helpless being…'.
You can only take advantage of a person who's at your mercy, who's not mature or responsible enough to make his or her own decisions. So we victimize people with disabilities, but we especially do it when it comes to sex. We already deny women to be sexually self-determined and try to attach stereotypes of special needs for protection from others when it comes to topics like porn or prostitution. Imagine how much we do it with someone with a disability in the context of sex – not to mention the dimension of it when it comes to a woman with a disability. We do it to an extent where we construct negative asexualizing stereotypes. But we are not talking about asexual people. We are talking about an adult, a grown up person. Disability does not equal sexual disability – that's a stereotype. I've said it once before talking about the toilet-signs: we have toilet signs for women, we have those for men, and we have toilet signs for disabled people. There are the two sexes and the sexless which symbolizes this particular stereotype.
There already are projects like Shada that aim at building up a more inclusive society, respecting every disabled person's 'unique sexual identity and non-judgemental recognition and acceptance enabling its diverse expression and celebration'. It's about learning to understand, and starting to rethink. Here's much more information on concrete aspects, that I found very helpful.
March 1, 2011
Action! in Room 33
A few days ago I published the 'making of' love hotel, the short film I directed for Hotel, a project by Boolab for Casa Camper, and now the whole short film is finally available!!
So you may officially watch Room 33 (official title), and get a new encounter with the characters from Handcuffs.
Soon I'll release a new version of the video with credits and everything, but I couldn't wait to publish it, so here it is!
You can watch the other 5 short films and get more info on the HOTEL project on the official website
And you can also see a few pictures of the Premiere party at Casa Camper Barcelona
What do you think? Do you like it?
February 26, 2011
Mia – Lelo's new vibrator
Today I finally received Lelo's new vibrator – Mia !!!
You can plug it into your usb port to charge it. And be careful because it might be small, but it vibrates hard!
Check out the video below and get Mia on Lust Store
Discovering Lelo's new vibrator Mia
Cargado por lustfilms. – Mira vídeos sexys. Cuidado – No apto para el trabajo!
February 25, 2011
Thoughts on female masturbation
Betty Dodson and Carlin Ross give us their feedback on the best of Lady Porn Day and give us juicy explanations on female masturbation, on what makes us horny, on what gets us stimulated (watch the video here).
Both are "intergenerational sex positive feminists whose dialogue on sexuality and feminism entertains and educates while delving into the Politics of Women's Sexuality: how denying women reproductive rights and easy access to birth control, restricting sexual choices, maintaining a sexual double standard with the two views of woman: Madonna or Whore, and defining women's appropriate sexual response denies women a full life".
Beside theirs posts, videos, various participations, they've also launched a series of video to help women and teach them about their sexuality.
