Doug Moe's Blog, page 8
February 26, 2018
Super-Dad
Today I saw a super-dad: he had a baby strapped to his chest in a Baby Bjorn, was pushing a jogging stroller and was negotiating with a little kid on a scooter. I passed him as he was stopped, but I could see that this was a serious mulit-tasker: he was moving from Running Plan A (kid on scooter, baby in stroller) to Running Plan B (kid in stroller, baby in Baby Bjorn). He was just stowing that stroller, strapping the baby on and then was gonna hit it again.
That’s some hard-core shit.
I used to go out running with my daughter in the jogging stroller. And I wasn’t afraid to run to pre-K with her in the stroller, drop her off and then jog back with an empty stroller like some kind of pretend dad out for a jog with my imaginary child. I’m no exercise nut, but I am an optimistic multitasker. I liked this guy’s hustle, even though I bet that after getting jostled up and down in the Baby Bjorn during the jog that baby was gonna big-time barf.
That’s dads: on the hustle, making the most of their time, getting their reps in with babies strapped to them. Go dads!
February 22, 2018
305 - Getting Romantic with Doug Moe
I’m back on Justin’s THE DAD PODCAST to talk about romance. Great to hear from an expert like me on this topic, appreciate the thanks.
February 19, 2018
I’m in “bad-guy” mode
Not only did I make my daughter get a flu shot today, I might just make her do her math homework - and it’s vacation right now. MUHOOHAHAH
February 16, 2018
TGIF
Wow - lately it feels like this:
Monday - horrible thingTuesday - horrible thing
Wednesday - ridiculous responses to horrible things
Thursday - maddening revelations about hypocritical reactions to horrible things
Friday - attempt to bury important, terrible decision about horrible things on slow news day
TGIF. One of the best decisions our family made was to cut the cable cord. We did it because we are cheap, but it also has made it easier to not be trapped in the never-ending cycle of cable news drama. Still, the news online isn’t much better. Twitter is a toxic stew. Facebook is an argument-generating machine.
On weeks like this (and the one before and the one before and…) it is so hard to disconnect and stay focussed on your work and on your family. Hug your kids, work for change and try not to lose hope.
February 15, 2018
I can’t count the number of times I have heard...
I can’t count the number of times I have heard “Doug, I’d read your book but I don’t speak English.” NICE TRY. Now you have no excuse, unless you also don’t speak Portuguese.
February 14, 2018
The Many Meanings of Black Panther’s Mask
Here’s an article on the thorny issue of cultural appropriation as it relates to white kids wearing the Black Panther costume. I do feel like this is an article in search of a problem since most of the people in the article admit that these 7 year olds barely understand race, let alone the implications of cultural appropriation. 7 year olds mostly concern themselves with being “kick-ass,” not with the legacy of colonialism. I suppose it’s good to think these things over, but it’s also important to remember that kids are still kids. But hey, I’m an old white guy so I am not always as in-tune on these issues as others.
It reminded me of an excellent This American Life story from Neil Drumming about loving the very culturally-problematic General Lee from The Dukes of Hazzard as a black kid.
February 9, 2018
Holiday CreepValentine’s Day is coming up next week, but I’m not...
Holiday Creep
Valentine’s Day is coming up next week, but I’m not buying my kid anything. Why? Because it’s VALENTINE’S DAY. I bought my wife a little something, but why should we be buying stuff for our kids? To show that we love them? Um, okay. If I didn’t love my daughter, I wouldn’t feed her dinner so regularly.
Isn’t Valentine’s Day about ROMANTIC love? Isn’t Valentine’s Day when you’re supposed to pitch the woo, whisper sweet nothings and pretend to have game? It’s a time to shake off the comfortable affection and appreciation you feel for your partner and try to waken your inner Romeo.
It’s not about the love you have for your kid or your pet or your internet service provider. But Doug, you say, why be so stingy with your love? What’s the harm in getting a little candy treat for your kid or the mailman or the preschool teacher?
Nothing very wrong, I guess. It’s just HOLIDAY CREEP. And I’m not talking about a Santa that stayed in the chimney too long. “Holiday Creep” is when the original intention of the holiday gets watered down, forgotten about and generalized. It’s like Mission Creep: “the expansion of a project or mission beyond its original goals, often after initial successes.”
Holiday Creep is grownups dressing up on Halloween because they feel like they have to. It’s people sending New Year’s cards because they fucked up on sending out Christmas cards. It’s sitting around on the beach on Labor Day instead of marching with our unions and doing that dance around the May Pole. Right?
I don’t know why I’m on this rant. It feels like everything that’s nice and specific has to be spread around for everybody until it’s general and not special. It’s like tip jars: it used to be that you would drop some pocket change in there for someone making you a fancy beverage. But now I see people dropping a dollar in there when they buy a $2 coffee. Well, la-di-da! Good for you, sucker. But I am not playing. The Walgreen’s aisle might have stocked enough for me to give little gifts to everyone I know, but to me Valentine’s Day is for my sweetheart only.
February 7, 2018
kaijuno:
bitsow:
4800 players, Beethoven’s 9th Symphony...
4800 players, Beethoven’s 9th Symphony Speedrun
its not even music anymore it’s just a shockwave that kills you instantly
New math is changing our understanding of music. Makes you think.
February 2, 2018
City Attitude Training
How do I train my daughter in the art of being a smart, slightly aggressive New Yorker? What’s the right balance so that she’s neither a push-over nor a rage-fueled maniac?
I brought her to the bus yesterday morning to go to school. This is a city bus, not a school bus, so sometimes the bus gets “too full” and passes the stop or the driver decides that too many kids are getting on and leaves before everyone is aboard. Crazy, right?
Anyway, as the bus started to roll up, several animated teenage boys approached the stop. Now look: I used to be an animated teenage boy. And I can smell a line-cutter a mile away. Teenage boys, especially in a pack, are natural line-cutters. So I said to my daughter, “Make sure you get on this bus.” She gave me one of those “what-are-you-even-talking-about” pre-teen glares - basically an acknowledgement that she *wasn’t* going to make sure she got on that bus.
She hasn’t yet come to understand that this is entirely within her control, but is dependent on her willingness to assert herself, to become a noisy New Yorker, to prove that she is no chump. It’s not about being big or strong. I’ve seen spindly old ladies clear the way with a withering “Excuuuuse me!” It’s about being selectively rude to make sure others are polite, even if they don’t want to be.
So as these boys started lining themselves up to get on the bus, angling themselves slyly to the side to quickly jump the queue, I stepped in like I too was getting on the bus. Okay yeah, I “accidentally” bumped the lead one a bit as he tried to wedge past me. "Oops! Sorry pal,“ I said, my tone definitely #notsorry. Daughter on the bus, I withdrew from the line and everyone got on happily - in the correct order.
That’s the sweet spot - not too aggressive, but just enough to let someone else know that you’re wise to them, that you’re no dope. This is the gentle hard shoulder given to someone texting while walking into you, the slight butt push against the protruding backpack on the subway, the full press of your leg against the man-spreader next to you. It’s the taking of space - a valuable skill to learn. And if my daughter ever starts listening to me again, I will attempt to teach her this skill.
February 1, 2018
Man Vs Child: One Dad’s Guide to the Weirdness of Parenting
About the Book
***Named one of Amazon’s Best Humor Books of 2017.***
“Doug Moe has written a delightful and helpful book that gives real advice about the Wild West world of raising children.” - Amy Poehler
Moms have hundreds of parenting advice books willing to tackle the more cringe-inducing questions of parenthood. But what about books for the other half of the equation: the dads?
Man Vs. Child is a funny, fresh take on the parenting guide, written from the dad’s perspective. More info here.
Buy the BookThe book is out in stores now or you can order here:
Amazon
Abrams
Barnes and Noble
Books-a-Million
Indiebound
Indigo
Powell’s
Praise“Doug Moe has written a delightful and helpful book that gives real advice about the Wild West world of raising children.”
***
“Moe describes the awed affection new fathers may have for their children with relatable humor and genuine insight, offering a promising resource for the curious and the clueless.”
***
“From tackling toddler meltdowns to bringing up baby in any conversation, comedian Doug Moe’s irreverent take on the absurdity of fatherhood is a refreshing read for new dads. It feels like you’re chatting with a friend who admittedly doesn’t know everything, but does know exactly what you’re going through.”- Pregnancy & Newborn Magazine
***
“Wow is it terrific – funny, smart, relatable, and actually filled with some very good tips, from handling sleepless nights for tips to get rid of your kids’ weird friends on playdates.”
***
“Yes, it’s just one man’s point of view, but we have a feeling your guy will find more than enough in common with this hilarious dad-in-training.”- PureWow
***
“Thankfully for new fathers like me, Doug Moe knows it all, from little kids doing pee-pee to big kids doing homework. It’s essential reading for dads and future dads.”- Michael Showalter, writer/director and cocreator of Wet Hot American Summer
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“Doug Moe is the second-best father I know. Even if the only thing you get from this book is a good time, then Doug has done more for fathers than any other book of its kind.”- Rob Corddry, actor and comedian, The Daily Show and Ballers
***
“I am about to have a baby and I am terrified and feel like an idiot! Then I read Doug Moe’s Man vs. Child! Now, I am prepared to have a baby. I am slightly less terrified and I am still an idiot! Thanks, Doug!”- Bobby Moynihan, actor and comedian, Saturday Night Live
***
“Hurry up and buy this book! I didn’t get a chance before my baby came and now I’m screwed! Help! I haven’t slept in weeks and now I don’t know what I’m doing! Dammit, Doug, why didn’t you write this while I still had time to read books??”- Rob Huebel, actor and comedian, Human Giant and Transparent
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“Man vs. Child is a hilariously honest look at parenting that even moms can appreciate. I mean, any book that encourages new dads to ‘vacuum and be nice’ is one I can get behind!”- Ilana Wiles, blogger and author of The Mommy Shorts Guide to Remarkably Average Parenting
***
“A taut, erotic thriller. This is a smart, dark look at the human condition, our strengths and our weaknesses. Doug Moe has done it again. I did not read this book.”- , actor and comedian, The League
***
“Doug Moe is hilarious. I’d read anything he wrote, including this book, which I read and loved. Doug’s writing is funny and irreverent, which could lead one to think he’s a bad dad, and quite honestly, I thought that for years.“- Jon Daly, actor and comedian, Kroll Show
MediaFeel free to email me here if you want to talk. For media and publicity inquiries and interview requests, please contact Jennifer Bastien at jbastien@abramsbooks.com.
