Doug Moe's Blog, page 11
November 20, 2017
(via Love by Jake Williams) Thanksgiving SongsPretty soon we’re...
(via Love by Jake Williams)
Thanksgiving SongsPretty soon we’re all going to be DEEP in Christmas songs. But there aren’t that many Thanksgiving songs. When I was in school, we learned one that I remember, a macabre Thanksgiving song called “Turkey Trot.” Here’s what I remember of it:
Turkey trot, trot, trot
Across the lot, lot, lot
Feeling fine, fine, fine
Until Thanksgiving time
I tried to find a quality YouTube video of the Turkey Trot song, but all I found was a poorly-made animation of a turkey saying to eat ham and then a school concert that is mostly the back of an audience member’s head. But here’s an NPR story about it.
It’s a little sick, but I like it. It sits in my memory with a handful of other songs that I learned in music class as a kid, taking up valuable space that I could be using for coming up with hilarious tweets. But these songs have STAYING POWER. These songs aren’t going ANYWHERE.
Here’s the other songs from that time I can’t shake. One is Señor Don Gato - a song about a cat who falls off a roof and breaks his whiskers somehow. Lucky for you, there are many videos of this song. In fact, the hardest part for me was deciding which of the many enthusiastic performers’ videos to share. Should I share this version from Miss Nina’s Weekly Video Show (weekly videos? sounds exhausting!)
Or this terrific version by JenUwin Playtime:
Aw heck, just in explaining them I posted both.
And finally the other one: There Was an Old Woman All Skin and Bones - here in a tantalizingly titled “SKIN AND BONES.wmv”
And oh heck, I can’t help but post this one too! Have You Seen the Ghost of John! SCARY!
There you go: four great Thanksgiving songs to tide you over until the Christmas playlist kicks in at Old Navy. You’re welcome.
November 9, 2017
Best Humor Books of 2017Toot toot! I’m tooting my own horn...
Best Humor Books of 2017
Toot toot! I’m tooting my own horn because my book got picked as one of Amazon’s Best Humor and Entertainment Books of 2017!
If you’re a Doug Moe super-fan, you might be thinking “didn’t I already hear this?” The answer is - No! A few months ago, it was named in the Best Humor and Entertainment Books of 2017 *so far*
So now that it’s the end of the year, my book has defended its title, so to speak. I’m in this list with John Hodgman, Whitney Cummings, Chuck Klosterman, Kelly Oxford, etc. - I’m an underdog on this one for sure.
And of course, if you’ve bought it or left a review, thanks so much. If not - it makes a great gift for any parent, even moms! Think about picking up a copy if you haven’t yet. Yay!
October 27, 2017
Top Candies of 2017
A year ago, I saw several different kids dressed as Donald Trump for Halloween, back before we knew that we’d be suffering under that lunatic’s idiocy. What an exhausting year! Halloween is one of my favorite holidays, but this year even the candy seems worn down by the last horrible year of politics.
Red Hats
Mr. Goodbar Retiring From Senate Rather Than Face Humiliating Primary Challenge
Dummies
Almond Meh
Sour Attitude
This Blows Pops
Payday For Big Business
Tweets
Reese’s Pieces of Legislation Never Passed
Swedish Muslim Refugee Crisis Manufactured for Political Agenda
Three Musketeers Advocate For Gun Rights Despite Newest Mass Shooting
Shithead
Gummi Right to Bear Arms
Snickers, at least we still have Snickers
Hershey’s Pussy Grab
October 23, 2017
Ep. 86 How improv acting can help you survive the weirdness of parenting – with Doug Moe
I’m on the ParentNormal podcast to talk about my book and UCB and if improv can help you parent, as if anything can. Check it out!
Also, did you buy my book yet? Get on that shit! http://bit.ly/MVCAmzn
October 18, 2017
The Curse of Good Parents - Dad and Buried
If your parents were great, who is to blame for your bad parenting? Dad and Buried with a great article and a shout out for my book Man Vs Child…
October 9, 2017
manvchild:
Christopher Columbus for Kids (now)
“Yeah, you have...
Christopher Columbus for Kids (now)
“Yeah, you have no school Monday because it’s Columbus Day! Did you guys learn about Columbus?
Well, he was an explorer. You see, nobody knew that America even existed. I mean, nobody in Europe knew that. There were already Indians here. Native Americans. Native Americans already lived here.
So, nobody in Europe knew that and Christopher Columbus thought that he could go around the world by heading west. Well actually, he was trying to get to the Orient. Er, Asia. He was trying to get to Asia and he discovered America by accident. He didn’t discover it, but he told Europe about it. Western Europe. Probably the Vikings already knew.
And that’s why you have no school Monday.”
…oh yeah, also he enslaved and killed lots of people…
October 3, 2017
Book Review: Man vs. Child, by Doug Moe
The real measure of a parenting book is not the answers it gives, but the questions it asks. Is its advice is drawn from experience, or from self-absorbed magical visions from the make-believe Land of Happy Parent Theories?
That’s why I am skeptical of the endlessly-published parenting books and blogs that ask questions like “What Are the Best BPA-Free Three-Syllable Strollers Under $1500?” and “What’s the One Weird Sure-fire Trick to Getting Your Child to Sleep Through the Night?” — and why I really liked Doug Moe’s Man vs. Child, which asks…
What’s good about sleep deprivation?
Is it OK to take my baby to a bar?
Should I worry if my kid talks weird?
Is my child too annoying for this restaurant?
What if I never get my iPad back?
Who is this tiny person?…and so much more. Subtitled One Dad’s Guide to the Weirdness of Parenting, it’s clear that Moe draws from personal experience and keen observations of other fathers and mothers. Raising a child in Brooklyn, New York — the heartland of organic free-range irony — offers Moe plenty of irreverent perspectives on the craziness of parenting, like the proper way to fold different brands of strollers. (Tip: it’s mostly it’s kicking, smashing, and probably swearing.)
Doug Moe is an actor and comedian (see: UCB, 30 Rock, Inside Amy Schumer, etc.) so it’s no surprise that his book offers plenty of laugh-out-loud moments. You might have noticed this if you followed his Tumblr, coincidentally also called Man vs. Child. But in the midst of the humor, Moe raises some honest parenting issues that no book pointed out before I became a father.
For example, in a section titled “Time to Decide About God,” Moe suggests that we examine the differences between our religious beliefs and those of our parents. Maybe your parents are hardcore Christians and you’re not. How will you handle popular secular/spiritual holidays like Christmas and Easter? Are your child’s grandparents going to be pushy about their beliefs? It might be time to figure out your religion so you can stick to it and raise your child appropriately. (Anyone who follows my blog knows where I’ve landed.)
If you need help resolving an uncertain faith, I think “man vs. God” describes an entire department at your local bookstore. However, don’t misunderstand Moe; he hasn’t figured it out yet either. “If you decide to do what’s right, not just what’s easy, then I congratulate you,” he writes. “Deciding what you actually believe is a tough task that I have been avoiding for years. Soul searching is hard, especially when you have a tiny baby screaming at you.”
To be clear, this book isn’t just about babies. It’s about that long-running game of life called So You Think You Can Dad. The book starts with observations from Moe’s childless stage of adulthood, and by the end of the book, his daughter is 10 years old, halfway between the ages of my own kids (8 and 12). That’s a long span to cover, and at under 200 pages, Moe’s book doesn’t even try to explain every detail, because that’s not the goal. You should wait for his 18-volume exhaustive treatise entitled Man vs. OMG Who Has Time To Read All These Parenting Books Anyways.
Instead, as he says in the introduction, “Man vs. Child is about the absurdity of being a dad today: from your blissful pre-baby days through when your kid is off at school, probably talking shit about you.” You might need a more serious parenting book to know the medical procedure for when your toddler eats gum off the sidewalk, but you should read Doug Moe’s book to know how to laugh about it. Remember, dads: safety first, but humor ought to be a close second, and Man vs. Child is an excellent reminder of that.
I am sure it is a random quirk of marketing fate that Moe’s book was released not long before Father’s Day (June 18). So, this year, if you’d like to buy a dad more than an ugly necktie, or something besides a new flashlight to replace the one your six-year-old dropped in the toilet, consider giving a copy of Man vs. Child. It’s available from Amazon and other places people can buy funny books.
Full disclosure: Doug Moe asked me to review his book and sent me a free copy. He’s also a friend of a friend. But I wouldn’t have read it if I didn’t expect it to be funny, and I wouldn’t have written this if I didn’t genuinely enjoy it. Plus, after 1500+ posts on And I’m the Dad, you would think I’d finally review a parenting book, eh? So here you go. Thanks for your patience.
A nice review of Man Vs. Child from the great dad blog And I’m the Dad! Thanks!
manvchild:
Man Vs Child: One Dad’s Guide to the Weirdness of...
Man Vs Child: One Dad’s Guide to the Weirdness of ParentingJust one of the hilarious illustrations by @jordan-awan for my book.
Amazon picked it as one of its “Best Humor and Entertainment Books of 2017.”
Pick it up today if you haven’t yet!
September 22, 2017
Weird Searches
My daughter was searching on Amazon, her preferred mode of shopping, for a birthday gift for her friend. When I go on Amazon, I type in stuff like “Man Vs Child: One Dad’s Guide to the Weirdness of Parenting” (natch). But my daughter, not having anything specifically in mind, was searching in the most I-don’t-understand-the-internet ways. The search terms she was using:
“sun glasses cool”“later gun kawaii” - Supposed to be “laser gun kawaii.” “Kawaii” means “cute” apparently, but I probably don’t have to tell you that, Tumblr.
“mysterio cheap”
“squishy fancy cool”
“cool laser gadgets”
“cool fancy for girls”
“cool fun for girls”
“cheap stuff” - best part was the results included both a “4 ½ inch Folding Tactical Knife” for $6.95-$981.50 (quite a range, and no I am not linking to it) and a $620 beanbag chair
“cute and fun silly”
“chill pusheen” - let me recommend to you the adorable I Am Pusheen the Cat book that is better than it ought to be.
And of course, “Once Upon A Time Dark One Dagger” - which, let’s just say wasn’t going to be purchased for this birthday party.
Incredibly, we eventually found a couple of things in the cheap-cool-fun-fancy category of gift. Maybe I should loosen up and let the Amazon search function do its thing more often.
Seriously, though: have you bought my book, Man Vs Child: One Dad’s Guide to the Weirdness of Parenting? It makes a great gift! Maybe not for an 11-year old. And granted, it’s not a “cool fun fancy laser gift for girls.”
September 8, 2017
My daughter’s about to get her first phone, so add this to my...
My daughter’s about to get her first phone, so add this to my list of worries :(
