Hannah Braime's Blog, page 6

How to be Yourself in Each Role You Fill

This is a guest post by Johanna Schram.

We all fill a variety of roles in the course of our lives. I’m a wife, a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a writer, a friend, a citizen, a dog owner, a homeowner—just to name a few. I’ve also claimed the roles of employee, coworker, manager, student, leader, musician, artist, athlete, and dancer. Some roles don’t come with official titles, but are implied—good girl, smart one, responsible one.

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What about you? Which roles have you taken on?

It makes sense that we would act slightly differently in each of our roles. Of course we wouldn’t do and say the exact same things as a coworker that we do as a spouse. We likely show up differently as an employee than we do as a friend.

We can choose the behavior and boundaries appropriate to each relationship and context while still being ourselves. We can choose to highlight different aspects of who we are to fit whichever role is currently at the forefront.

But a problem comes when we struggle to trust that who we are is enough to fill the roles in which we find ourselves. When we believe we have to change or be bigger than we really are, filling our roles can feel like a performance. We start to hide vital parts of ourselves while acting like someone we are not.

As a student, I played basketball. On the court, I was expected to be aggressive, confident, competitive, driven, intense, and bold. But as soon as the final buzzer sounded, I was to go back to being humble, polite, considerate, obedient, and generous.

Some people transition between these roles beautifully. They can amp up the intense, driven aspects of themselves in appropriate ways within the context of the game and then let them sink back into supporting roles for their more compassionate side in their relationships.

While I enjoyed many of the skills of basketball, for me, the attitude of a basketball player was always a performance. I am just not an aggressive person. Every time I stepped on the court, I was fighting to be someone I wasn’t. I believed the only way to play my role was to become bigger and better than I was.

Of course, this tendency to play a part shows up in more than just sports. Even in the roles that matter to me most—wife, sister, daughter, friend—I’ve felt that urgency to perform in order to measure up. Instead of drawing on particular aspects of who I am, I’ve fragmented myself into someone different for each role I claim. Trying to be someone I’m not gets in the way of being truly myself with those I love and trusting them to see me for who I am.

I don’t want to keep manufacturing a new version of myself to fit every role I hope to fill. Rather, I’m trying to collect all those fragmented versions of me and sort through to see what fits and what doesn’t. I’m learning to highlight different facets of one whole, coherent person and to trust it’s enough to be myself in each of my roles.

This isn’t a quick switch. I’ve had a lot of practice performing. In some cases, I’ve performed so long that it’s hard to untangle what’s me and what is an act. Here are some questions that are helping.

Where and when do I feel most myself?

Before we can show up as ourselves instead of acting as who we think we’re supposed to be, we need a clearer picture of who we are. Think of times when you’ve felt the most like yourself. How did you think, act, speak, and feel? What do those memories show you about your core values, personality, strengths, interests, and character?

In which roles do I feel driven by pressure to be more than who I actually am?

Our emotions can give us clues to where we might be trying to be more than we are. We’ll often experience fear, resentment, or loneliness when we feel compelled to continually prove we’re enough. Tenseness in our bodies can also cue us to times when we’re not acting as ourselves.

Some of these may be roles to let go. I eventually quit basketball to focus on other things. For other roles, it may be a matter of learning to trust that who we are is enough.

How would I show up differently if I were not performing?

If you could be absolutely certain you’re already good enough, what would you do differently? How would that feel differently?

Knowing what you know about yourself, which aspects of your identity are best suited to this role? This isn’t about what traits you need to acquire or how you have to pretend. Rather, how can you creatively use all the pieces of who you are in this situation?

What do you need in order to give yourself permission to stop performing?

It doesn’t matter if I give you permission to quit. Even if everyone in your life assures you that you are good enough just as you are, you won’t be able to drop the performance until you believe it’s ok.

You are the only one who can give yourself that permission. I know it’s not as simple as just signing a permission slip. Trust me, I know. That’s why I’m encouraging us to really think about what it will take for us to get there.

I’d love to know…When has filling a role felt like a performance? In which roles do you feel most yourself? How will you give yourself permission to show up as who you are?

About Johanna

[image error]Johanna Schram is learning to value wrestling with the questions over having all the answers. She’s sifting through the internal and external expectations of who she is supposed to be to discover who she really is, what she values, and what she has to give. Join her at joRuth and deepen your self-knowledge with these free guides.

Would you like to submit a guest post to Becoming Who You Are? I’d love to hear from you! Find out more and read the posting guidelines here.

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How to Start a Daily Creative Practice

One of my most fulfilling self-care-related activities is my daily creative practice. What I do as part of this practice varies; sometimes it’s writing, sometimes it’s hand-lettering, sometimes it’s experimenting with a new hobby. Having a daily creative practice has also been useful professionally. It’s good for my skills, good for my mindset and the more I show up, the more inspired I feel. Creativity is like a muscle and daily workouts are one of the most effective ways to strengthen it.

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At the same time, I know it’s not easy maintaining a daily creative practice. So in this post I want to share nine general rules/principles that have helped me and I hope will help you too:

1. Keep it simple.

The number one reason most people struggle to get started and stay started with a daily creative practice is they overcomplicate it. Make it as easy as possible for yourself. Start with the minimum amount or minimum goal and work your way up from there.

2. Remember 99% of this is about showing up.

The second biggest reason people struggle? Expectations of what a daily creative practice “should” look like. Check those now and stay open to the idea this will evolve and change as you go.

3. Choose one thing at a time.

Writing, painting, drawing; this can change further down the line but start by choosing one thing to focus on. A word of caution: don’t go overboard. Remember, simple is best. You don’t need a full set of professional tools to get started. If you’re drawing, start with a single pencil and paper. If you’re writing, open a new text file or (my personal favourite) a new document in Scrivener. And, if you find yourself waiting to start until you have all the right kit? That’s what author Steven Pressfield would describe as the resistance.

4. Designate a time and place you’ll do this each day

I find if I truly want to get something done, the best time to do it is the morning. Since I became a mother, this has changed to “whenever I can,” but earlier is still better! By evening, we’re tired, our willpower is depleted, and it’s all too easy to shelve our creative practice to make room for other things that spill over from the day. Getting up earlier might feel like a drag (especially if, like me, you’re not exactly a morning person). Again, choosing a specific time and place in advance is about reducing the number of decisions you need to make each day so you can focus on what’s really important: your creative practice.

5. Build a container around your practice

How will you know when you’ve done “enough” on any given day? Perhaps you’ll have a time limit, perhaps a word count, perhaps an agreement to do one drawing. The parameters are up to you, but deciding this in advance and setting a container around your practice will make it feel more doable on a daily basis.

6. Make it enjoyable

When it comes to “work,” fun is something that often gets lost, or even feels forbidden. I’ve explored this with a number of coaching clients in the past: when we’ve dug down into resistance or procrastination around their craft, there usually lurks some kind of hidden belief about how it’s supposed to be very serious, hard, and not enjoyable. Because that’s how work should be.

A daily creative practice isn’t likely to be enjoyable every day. There will be days when it feels like the last thing you want to do. I’m a big advocate for using those days as a growth opportunity and a chance to recommit to why you’re doing this in the first place. But fun is an important element we overlook at our own peril. When we believe something should be a struggle, a graft, a drudge, we hamstring ourselves.

Follow your curiosity and see where it leads you.

7. Commit and gamify…

Try setting yourself a 30-day, 90-day, 100-day or year-long challenge to do a little every day. I love challenges because it feels like I’m aiming for some kind of milestone or tangible goal. If you’re just starting out, think carefully before setting a huge challenge as you’re more likely to become discouraged if you fall off the wagon early. Start with a 10-day or 30-day challenge and build up from there.

Use your creative practice as an opportunity for connection, accountability, and commitment. You might share a blog post each day for 30 days (like Sarah Kathleen Peck). Alternatively, join a community, like My 500 Words by Jeff Goins, for peer support and meeting fellow writers. Use social media: share one image of your creative practice each day, as Caroline Kelso encourages her hand-lettering cohorts to do. However you choose to commit and stay accountable is up to you, but embrace any stirring you feeling inside to be visible.

8. …But don’t get hung up on being “perfect”

You’re human, which means you will skip days, drop the ball, and even just plain forget. This doesn’t matter, it’s what you do next that counts.

Not every day has to be a masterpiece. Remember, it’s the showing up that counts. Last month, I managed to write every day. This month, there are several gaps in my streak due to moving, a bad winter cold, and life. But once I realise I’ve broken the streak? The most important thing is to minimise the amount of time between realising and restarting.

Having a regular creative practice is a constant balance between facing resistance head-on and being a fallible human. Grapple with the things within your control and don’t feel too bad about the things that aren’t.

9. Support your practice in other areas of your life

Go on artist dates to stoke your curiosity and inspiration. Make sure you’re getting enough sleep. Connect with fellow creatives and build your support network. Find and follow a couple of creative mentors. These don’t have to be people you know on a personal basis, they don’t even have to be people you’ve exchanged words with (although I’m sure they’d love it if you reached out to say hi).

If something feels like it’s missing from your creative life, that’s a sign it’s time to reach out and do something about it.

What is the number one thing you’ve found helpful for starting and maintaining a creative practice? Leave a comment and share your thoughts.

Further reading: How do you nourish your creativity? 16 creatives share their tips & Rediscovering your creativity

Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

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The Many Wonders of Journaling with Lynda Monk

[image error]It’s no secret I am a huge fan of journaling, so I welcome the chance to connect with others who are just as passionate about this amazing personal growth tool! In this episode of the Becoming Who You Are podcast, I’m talking with Lynda Monk about the many wonders of journaling, plus Lynda’s exciting new venture as Director of the International Association of Journal Writing.

Lynda Monk, MSW, RSW, CPCC is the Director of the International Association for Journal Writing (IAJW) – a learning and inspiration-community for journal and life writers, worldwide. She is the author of numerous articles, courses and coaching programs focused on the healing and transformational power of writing, including co-author of Writing Alone Together: Journaling in a Circle of Women for Creativity, Compassion and Connection. Access her free gift 7 Servings of Journal Juice for inspiration and information to juice up your journaling!

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Episode: The Many Wonders of Journaling with Lynda Monk

Topics we cover include:

How Lynda started her journaling journey
How the written word has influenced her personal and professional journey
Her favourite journaling techniques
The one question she uses to take her insights off the page and into the world
The amazing power of a regular journaling practice
The many benefits of membership of the International Association of Journal Writing, Lynda’s latest community project

…and much more!

Useful Links

The International Association of Journal Writing (IAJW)

Say Hello

Lynda


Facebook: facebook.com/CreativeWellnessWithLyndaMonk


Website: Creative Wellness Works

Hannah


Pinterest: pinterest.com/hannahbraime


Facebook: facebook.com/becomingwhoyouare


Website: becomingwhoyouare.net

Subscribe to the Podcast

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Intro and outro: Stephanie Murphy


Photo by Rana Sawalha on Unsplash

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15 Journaling Prompts to Explore Your Spiritual Side

Your spiritual self informs your beliefs about the world, your purpose, your place in the bigger puzzle of life, and more. Spirituality can involve religion, but it doesn’t have to. It’s how you make sense of the world, where you find joy, and what you feel gives your life meaning.

Here are 15 prompts about spirituality from my latest book, The Year of You: 365 Journal Writing Prompts for Creative Self-Discovery, so if you enjoy them and want more like this, check it out here.

1. What big things are you most grateful for right now?


2. What does spirituality mean to you?


3. Where does your spiritual streak show up in your daily life?


4. What do you believe makes the world a better place?


5. Do you believe you find your purpose or believe your purpose finds you?


6. Do you believe you have a soul? Why or why not?


7. What gives your life meaning today? What leaves you feeling purposeful?


8. What people, figures, or ideas have had the biggest impact on your spiritual life?


9. What is the number one problem you would like to solve in the world?


10. What do you think happens when we die?


11. How do you define wisdom? Where do you look for wisdom in your own life?


12. When have you felt most connected to your spiritual side?


13. What are some of the mantras or guiding principles you use in your spiritual life?


14. Do you believe more in serendipity or coincidence? Why?


15. What are some of your biggest unanswered questions in life?

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Do you have any favourite questions or journaling prompts you use to explore your spirituality? Leave a comment and share your thoughts.

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Want more journaling prompts like this?

[image error]If you’d like more journaling inspiration, I invite you to check out The Year of You: 365 Journal Writing Prompts for Creative Self-Discovery. With a reflective writing prompt for every day of the year, you can take the guess work out of journaling and use your daily prompt to explore and unpack the most important aspects of your life and your being. Each month, you’ll focus on one important area of your life, including your identity, relationships, money, career, and more.

The Year of You is available in ebook and paperback (which you can write in!) through Amazon, and in ebook from iBooks, Kobo, Google Play, and Barnes & Noble now.

Photo by Valentina Yoga on Unsplash

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Which Wolf Will You Feed?

A grandfather is talking with his grandson and he says there are two wolves inside of us which are always at war with each other. 

One of them is a good wolf which represents things like kindness, bravery and love. The other is a bad wolf, which represents things like greed, hatred and fear.

The grandson stops and thinks about it for a second then he looks up at his grandfather and says, “Grandfather, which one wins?”

The grandfather quietly replies, “The one you feed.”

(From here.)

I love and share this parable because it so beautifully shares a lesson I know, but have to work hard to live: what we focus on matters.

And what we focus on is a choice.

Although stories like this are inspiring, this one actually has science to back it up. The thoughts we have, our decisions, our habits, all come back to one process: neural pathways in our brain.

When we entertain a thought, make a decision, reinforce a habit or behaviour, we strengthen that pathway. We feed that wolf. Most of the time, we do so with tiny morsels.

Every time I see a cup on the counter and don’t put it in the dishwasher? Procrastination pathway.

Every time I know I have had enough coffee, yet still pour another cup (because coffee)? Caffeine addiction pathway.

Every time I think “I should really meditate,” and don’t? Procrastination pathway—again.

Every time someone elbows me on the bus and I assume they’re just a jerk who doesn’t care about my personal space? Assuming the worst pathway.

Every time I see a cup on the counter and put it in the dishwasher? Tidy pathway.

Every time I know I’ve had enough coffee and switch to water instead? Healthy pathway.

Every time I think “I should really meditate,” and sit my butt down and open Headspace? Self-care pathway.

Every time someone elbows me on the bus and I assume they might not know they’re doing so and ask them to move up? Assuming the best pathway.

Of course, some of the wolf-feeding moments we encounter are more high-stakes than this. Much more. But I use these examples because it’s the micro-wolves we encounter most often.

I’ve found the more I feed the good wolf for micro-decisions, like not procrastinating about putting a cup in the dishwasher, the stronger that good wolf gets in other areas of my life.

Someone has done something that’s left me feeling pissed off and hurt. Am I going to blame them for my feelings and stew? Or take ownership of myself and do something constructive in response?

I’ve had a setback at work—a rejection. Am I going to get angry at the other person, while lamenting how unfair life is? Or, am I going to take what lessons I can from this experience and keep trying with other opportunities like this?

I’m unhappy with my weight and fitness. Am I going to sit here feeling crappy about myself and letting my inner critic run all over this? Or, am I going to decide to take care of myself and do what I can when I can to feel healthier (not because I think I should, but because I want to)?

It’s situations—and decisions—like these that end up defining our lives.

So: which wolf will you feed?

 

Further reading: Evolution, Growth, and Finding Your Golden Buddha & Rewriting Our Stories with Sas Petherick

Photo by Tom Pottiger on Unsplash

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CommentsGreat article! Thank you. by Karen 

Goodbye, February

Let’s say goodbye to the month that has been and get ready for the next with a roundup of 10 questions, recommended reading, and fun/useful links.

[image error] Do you enjoy the blog posts, podcasts and resources here? Please consider supporting Becoming Who You Are on Patreon. Your support helps cover the costs of running this site and is hugely appreciated! Pledge as little as $1 a month and get immediate access to bonus content and audios.

Hello! I hope you’ve had a great month so far. I don’t know about you, but I’m looking forward to the longer (and hopefully warmer) days of spring arriving soon. Even so, I’m aware of how the passage of time marches on and at this point next month we’ll already be a quarter of the way through 2018. The balance between “YOLO! Carpe diem!” and slowing down and remembering not everything needs to happen right now—we have time—is tightrope-thin and one I’m still grappling with. What about you? At the end of the day, I have to remind myself this tension all part of the rich human experience and part of the bittersweet experience of being alive here, today, while knowing one day that won’t be the case anymore.

WHEW. On that light-hearted note, let’s move on to this month’s questions…

10 Questions for you

February

What are three good memories from this month?
What did you create this month?
What was challenging during February?
Describe one experience or interaction you had this month that felt meaningful
What did you watch/read/listen to this month?

March

How do you want to feel during March?
What are three things you can do to create that feeling?
How will you take care of yourself next month?
What is something you’ve been doing this month that you will stop doing during March?
What is something you’ve been meaning to do that you’ll start doing during March?


Articles of the Month

Moral outrage is self-serving, say psychologists

Most personality quizzes are junk science. I found one that isn’t.

The real causes of depression have been discovered, and they’re not what you think

Two words that will make you happier, calmer and more certain

How to conquer your fear of trying new things

119 prompts for your journal jar

Quote of the Month

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“Compassion isn’t some kind of self-improvement project or ideal that we’re trying to live up to. Having compassion starts and ends with having compassion for all those unwanted parts of ourselves, all those imperfections that we don’t even want to look at.” —Pema Chodron

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Personal Growth Reading Challenge Update

This month I added three more books to my personal growth reading challenge list: How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen (and Listen so Little Kids Will Talk) by Joanna Faber and Julie King, and You’re Going to Survive: True stories about adversity, rejection, defeat, terrible bosses, online trolls, 1-star Yelp reviews, and other soul-crushing experiences―and how to get through it by Alexandra Franzen. Both excellent! I also read Deep Work by Cal Newport. While I wasn’t a huge fan of his writing style, the book still offered some useful insights and suggestions related to focus and doing meaningful, distraction-free work.

Here’s my updated challenge chart. What did you read this month?

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Resource of the Month

[image error]I’m enjoying The Pessimist’s Archive Podcast, which explores our culture’s fear and alarmism around new technology by looking at examples of how this has played out time and time again through history. I thought this episode, in particular, was super interesting. It’s all about the history of the bicycle and how it freaked. people. out. They’ve also done great episodes on walkmans, coffee, and whether or not “the good old days” actually exist (spoiler alert: they don’t!).

My favourite quote so far: “It’s as if nothing changes, that we’re in a loop, like a wheel, a circular piece of reasoning, forever fearing change then discovering the change we feared had already come and gone, and yet it left us so unchanged that we fear change anew.”

In case you missed it: on Becoming Who You Are this month

Too many ideas? Here’s what to focus on first

20 journaling prompts to improve your relationship with money

Developing a life-enriching creative practice (and interview with Cherry Jeffs)

Wishing you a wonderful March!

 

Photo by Cathal Mac an Bheatha on Unsplash

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Developing a Life-Enriching Creative Practice (an Interview with Cherry Jeffs)

This week’s post is an interview with creative coach Cherry Jeffs about cultivating a regular creative practice, overcoming common obstacles like fear of visibility, and reconnecting with your creativity. I loved reading Cherry’s answers to my questions (especially no. 3) and I hope you enjoy them too!

Can you tell us a little about yourself and what you’re passionate about right now?

I’m currently following two passion-filled paths side by side!

The first is developing my creative practice in what is still a relatively new area for me – making one-off “Artist’s Books”.

(That’s a very niche market and most people – not surprisingly – have totally the wrong idea about what that means so anyone in that camp can go here for my explanation of what they are.)

I’m also looking to expand that practice in a way that I can develop products that are accessibly-priced while still retaining some of the essence of the one-off pieces. I’ve no idea what that’s going to look like so, I’m experimenting using a challenge of ‘making something every week’ throughout 2018 to test protoypes and play with ideas.

My second parallel path is developing my coaching business. While I’m not planning to stop doing basic creative habit coaching, I’ve just launched a new package which is aimed at people who want to quit their day job and earn a living from their creative work.

I’ve been coaching people who want to do this as a sort of ad hoc, extension to habit coaching, but I wanted to nail it down as a separate package so prospective clients could get a clear handle on what I’m offering.

This is NOT anything like a ‘how to start a business’ course, instead I see it as a totally customisable journey that the client and I can take together to transform their dream from idea to concrete, action-stepping reality!

What have the highlights of your creative journey been so far? How has your path led to where you are today?

In a perverse way, overcoming really terrible creative block is what led me to the happy place I am now.

With the help of books, over a sustained period of time, I self-coached my way through the process of transforming myself from a designer to the fine artist I secretly wanted to be.

I emerged out of the other side, not only with a strong creative practice, but with a vocation to help other creatives in their struggles.

What, in your experience, are the most common obstacles people face when cultivating a regular creative practice? How can we start to tackle these obstacles?

On a practical level, the single biggest ‘mistake’, if you can call it that, that I see people make is the same one that people make starting any habit: setting the bar too high.

We expect ourselves to go from having no creative practice to creating, say, for two hours every day. This just sets us up for a fall because we haven’t built up the stamina to sustain it.

So the answer is surprisingly simple. Start ridiculously small. Five minutes isn’t too little. In fact, if it feels derisory, that’s perfect. Because it means you just can’t NOT do it.

And doing some creative work regularly is absolutely the number one key to gradually doing more of it!

Beyond that, I think the biggest difficulty we have is accepting that creative practice is a messy business. It’s not linear. It doesn’t fit nicely on your to do list. Showing up doesn’t always mean being productive. It doesn’t always mean producing great work.

Creative practice is like being a toddler learning to walk and knowing that there’s never going to be a time when you can be absolutely sure that you won’t fall over!

But there’s a really good reason behind this, if we only see it that way: It’s because we’re constantly improving and so pushing ourselves further. And every time we push ourselves into the next level, we’ll go through the falling over process all over again. So we need to learn to say,

“Great! Falling over again. Must be learning a ton!”

and carry on, because that’s how we become great at what we do.

Something I’ve experienced with my own creative work is fear of visibility, especially around wondering when my work is “good enough” to share in public. How do you decide that for yourself?

This is something so many creative people worry about and I used to feel like that too. What changed my mind is something Seth Godin said, a rough quote being

“Ubiquity is not the problem.”

What he means is that we don’t need to worry about what people are thinking about our work because the real problem we have in this world of so much digital noise, is being SEEN at all.

So what I tell myself and my clients is: Don’t worry, nobody’s looking!

What advice do you have for someone who might be reconnecting with their creative practice after a break or after falling out of love with it?

Instead of advice, I’d offer congratulations! Because there’s a weird thing that happens when we pick up something we’ve left off. We often come back better at it than before! I can’t account for it but I’ve seen it in my own practice and I read recently that it really IS a phenonemon.

The only way I can account for it is that maybe we just ‘forget’ some of our old inhibitions and come back fresh. And maybe, that our subconscious has done some work in our ‘absence’ in terms of the supportive practices of analysing our own and other people’s work and maybe on getting clearer on who we really are as creatives. Which dovetails nicely into your next question…

What does becoming who you are mean to you?

It feels like grabbing hold of all the disparate experiences and passions that are my life, and finding out what happens when I make a creative recipe out of all those unconnected ingredients.

And in doing that, I come home to a place that I always knew was there – but I didn’t have a clue what it looked like until I arrived!

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About Cherry

[image error]I’m a location-independent, mixed-media artist and top creative practice coach on Coach.me with a passion for helping people grow creative grow wings.

I have a degree in theatre design and I have run my own businesses as a graphic designer and then as jewellery designer-maker, before finally realising my dream of being a fine artist.

Find out more about Cherry’s work on her website.

Would you like support with building your own creative practice? Learn more about coaching with Cherry here.

Photo by Jess Watters on Unsplash

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20 Journaling Prompts to Improve Your Relationship with Money

Does money make your world go around? Or is it something you wish didn’t exist? Whatever your feelings about money, this week I want to share 20 journaling prompts to improve your relationship with money. Money can be a tricky topic for many people (myself included) so I hope you find these prompts helpful.

Most of these prompts are from my latest book, The Year of You: 365 Journal Writing Prompts for Creative Self-Discovery, so if you enjoy them and want more like this, check it out here.

1. Describe your relationship with money in five words or less.


2. What was your money story growing up?


3. What does it mean to you to have “not enough” money?


4. What does it mean to you to have “too much” money?


5. What, to you, is the purpose of money?


6. How do you feel about money today?


7. How would you like to feel about money?


8. What is your biggest fear in relation to money?


9. How does money bring you joy?


10. When have you felt at your richest?


11. What is the largest sum of money you’ve ever received?


12. What, in your opinion, is a “good” amount of money to earn?


13. What is the most money you’ve ever spent on something?


14. Imagine you inherited $5000 from a distant relative with the condition you had to spend it on something other than yourself. What would you do with the money?


15. What would you do if you ran out of money tomorrow?


16. What is the best or most helpful piece of advice you’ve heard about money?


17. What is the worst or least helpful piece of advice?


18. How do you talk about money with friends and family? (Do you?)


19. What would you like your financial life to look like in 10 years’ time?


20. What is one thing you could do today to improve your financial life?

Do you have any favourite money-related questions or journaling prompts? Leave a comment and share your thoughts.

Want more journaling prompts like this?

[image error]If you’d like more journaling inspiration, I invite you to check out The Year of You: 365 Journal Writing Prompts for Creative Self-Discovery. With a reflective writing prompt for every day of the year, you can take the guess work out of journaling and use your daily prompt to explore and unpack the most important aspects of your life and your being. Each month, you’ll focus on one important area of your life, including your identity, relationships, money, career, and more.

The Year of You is available in ebook and paperback (which you can write in!) through Amazon, and in ebook from iBooks, Kobo, Google Play, and Barnes & Noble now.

Photo by pina messina on Unsplash

The post 20 Journaling Prompts to Improve Your Relationship with Money appeared first on Becoming Who You Are.

               

Too Many Ideas? How to Decide What to Focus on First.

Have you ever been in the position where you want to start something and find yourself paralysed by what to focus on first? Let’s say, for example, you decide you want to make your long-held dream of writing a novel become a reality. But there are so many novels you want to write, choosing that first idea to focus on feels impossible. So you don’t. You’ve been paralysed by too many ideas.

Or you want to create your own website, but where to start? You want to make videos, begin a podcast, have seven ideas for ebooks (and counting), and would like to use all of this to launch your public speaking career. But you have no idea which project to focus on first. So you don’t.

I love coming up with new ideas—so many, that executing them all is impossible. Over the last few years, I’ve become more discerning about which ideas I see through, which ideas I save for later, and which I trash. This is still very a much a work in progress, but along the way, I’ve developed a set of criteria I find helpful for deciding which ideas to focus on first. 

N.B. These criteria apply to big ideas: ideas that will take a lot of time to execute. I’m talking about starting a business, writing a book, what career to choose, and so on. For smaller ideas—which blog post to write first, which book to read next, which email topic to pick—I’ve found that the simple answer to inertia is recognising it’s NBD (no big deal), just pick something and get on with it. Done is better than perfect and these things are a small part of a larger body of work. Don’t sweat the small stuff!

1. Get everything down on paper

It’s hard to make good decisions about your ideas while they’re all swirling around in your head. David Allen talks about this in his book Getting Things Done, where he describes a weekly practice called a “core dump.” This involves writing every single to-do, nagging thought, idea, or potential project you can think of.

The first time you do this, it will take time and might feel like pulling teeth, but it is so worth it. That paper becomes your “second brain.” It stores all this information for you, you no longer need to store it in your head, and your mind is free to focus on more important decisions.

Writing everything down also makes it easier to see how these decisions fit into the broader context of your life and everything else you have going on right now too.

2. Divide your life into buckets

A common productivity hack is to visualise the different areas of our lives as “buckets” and sort different ideas into different buckets according to which area of our lives they most impact. Just as it’s a good idea to only focus on one big idea per bucket at a time, I’ve also found it’s most effective to only focus on one bucket at a time.

So if you’re writing your first book or starting a side business, this might not be the best time to begin serious training for a triathlon. Those commitments will be competing for your time, energy and other finite resources and they risk diluting each other.

3. Ask: how does this idea align with my values?

If this idea is a long-term project, it will need to align with all your values. If there is a conflict of values, that will wear you down over time and affect your experience of what it is you’re doing.

What do you want from life? How do you see yourself living in five years time or ten years time? It’s helpful to break life down into different areas, such as family, home, leisure, career, finance, health, and so on. When you evaluate these ideas against your long-term vision for your life overall, does your idea bring you closer to that vision, or is it more of a distraction?

4. Make sure you’re in love with the process, not just the outcome

Look at the reality of pursuing these ideas rather than the ideal and check you’re in love with the process rather than just the outcome. For example, what are the costs going to be? What is the time frame you’re looking at? Find people who have done what you want to do themselves and ask them about their experience.

5. Look for the low-hanging fruit

What idea can you realise in the shortest amount of time? What is the smallest step you can take first that will give you a sense of progress? 

Action leads to momentum and momentum leads to action.

Taking out the low-hanging actions first creates a snowball effect: the more action you take, the more motivated you feel to continue taking action.

5. Choose one thing & commit to the first milestone

Researching what other people have to say on this, the single idea that came up again and again was doing one thing at a time. In his book The One Thing, Gary Keller talks about this approach, explaining that we’re more likely to get started and stay started if we focus on just one project at a time rather than spreading our focus around two or three businesses, projects, etc. Decide in advance what the first milestone will be and commit to that point.

Ultimately, choosing which idea to pursue first isn’t as important as the pursuing itself. Ideas are great but they will stay ideas unless you take action.

[image error]If you’re in the “Arrrgh, too many ideas!” phase right now and want to create clarity, momentumm and progress, I’d love to help. I support writers and other creatives as they create habits that enable them to make progress with their most important projects and create a body of work that makes them proud. Try a week’s free chat coaching with me using the code HANNAHBRAIMEWEEK.

Useful resources

What to Do When You Have Too Many Ideas (and Not Enough Time) – James Clear


What to Do When You Have Too Many Ideas – Lifehack


Too Many Ideas – TED Conversations 

Further reading: You can do anything but not everything & 5 important questions to ask before you commit to your creative goals

Photo by Edgar Castrejon on Unsplash

The post Too Many Ideas? How to Decide What to Focus on First. appeared first on Becoming Who You Are.

               

Goodbye, January

Let’s say goodbye to the month that has been and get ready for the next with a roundup of 10 questions, recommended reading, and fun/useful links.

[image error] Do you enjoy the blog posts, podcasts and resources here? Please consider supporting Becoming Who You Are on Patreon. Your support helps cover the costs of running this site and is hugely appreciated! Pledge as little as $1 a month and get immediate access to bonus content and audios.

Hello! How has the start of your 2018 been? I’ve enjoyed doing this yoga challenge this month and getting back to work on my next book after taking a hiatus to complete The Year of You: 365 Journal Writing Prompts for Creative Self-Discovery. Book writing is a strange beast that is equal parts rewarding, frustrating, and addictive (in a good way) and I’m looking forward to feeling like I have a handle on this particular project soon! I also enjoyed chatting to Anna from The Telegraph (a British newspaper) for her article about using self-care to add a little fun to the depths of winter. I hope you’ve had a great month too! On to this month’s questions…

10 Questions for you

January

What was the highlight of January for you?
What was something memorable you read/watched/listened to this month?
What has gone well this month?
What did you learn this month?
What knowledge, experience, or epiphany can you take forward from January into the rest of the year?

February

What is one thing you want to do, see, or experience in February?
What would you like to create next month?
What qualities are you committed to embodying in February?
What is one thing you avoided, ignored, or that took a backseat during January you’ll face head on this month?
How will you take care of yourself in February?

Articles of the Month (& 1 video)

Holly Butcher 1990-2018

The “18not180” approach to becoming your best self 

What is a life-changing realisation you wish you had sooner?

The internet pledge.

How “faux fear” might be faux-ing up your life

How to be patient

Here’s the healthy way to compare yourself to other people

Holding On To Toxic Friends Isn’t Harmless: Why It’s Time For A Friend Purge

Walking into 2018 like…

Walking into 2018 like…

A post shared by ROY PURDY (@roypurdy) on Dec 31, 2017 at 11:27am PST

Quote of the Month

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“When you say ‘Yes’ to others make sure you are not saying ‘No’ to yourself.” – Paulo Cohelo

Personal Growth Reading Challenge Update

I got off to a flying start with the 2018 personal growth reading challenge this month, checking off five books and having a great time in the process! Here’s my updated challenge chart. What did you read this month?

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Resource of the Month

[image error]The International Association for Journal Writing exists to provide both inspiration and information to journal and life writers alike and has just been re-awakened by new director Lynda Monk. I’m proud to be a Journal Council Expert with the IAJW and love what Lynda is doing to support novice, casual, and experienced journalers alike. The IAJW offers a monthly writing circle, an audio library, member-only articles, books, online courses and more. Annual membership is usually $67 but for a limited time, you can register for the special launch price of $47.

In case you missed it: on Becoming Who You Are this month

Setting Feel-Good Goals 101 #1: The 3 Principles of Setting Feel-Good Goals

Setting Feel-Good Goals 101 #2: 5 Important Questions to Ask Before You Commit to Your Creative Goals

Setting Feel-Good Goals 101 #3: What is the Habit Behind Your Goal?

Setting Feel-Good Goals 101 #4: How to Create Momentum With New Goals

20 Journaling Prompts to Improve Your Relationships

7 Simple Physical Activities to Raise Your Spirits & Boost Your Mental Strength {guest post by Marc}

Cultivating Healthy Relationships (an interview with Ryan Engelstad)

Wishing you a wonderful February!

Photo by guille pozzi on Unsplash

The post Goodbye, January appeared first on Becoming Who You Are.