Jon Acuff's Blog, page 76
March 31, 2013
How would you end the Bible TV show?
Tonight is the last night of the Bible TV series on the History Channel and I have no idea how they are going to end it.
Do you jump into Revelation?
Do you end with Paul painting a picture of where things are headed?
Do you creatively tie it up with something as unexpected as Noah beginning the series with a recital of history?
If you were Mark Burnett, the guy behind the show, how would you end it?
March 30, 2013
Relevant and awesome, or not good?
Have you seen this church’s ad for Easter?
Is it relevant and awesome?
Or not good?
March 29, 2013
The Up-Sell Guy at the Christian Bookstore
(It’s guest post Friday! Here’s one from Kate Hall. You can check out her blog here and you can follow her on Twitter. If you want to write a guest post for SCL, here’s how!)
The Up-Sell Guy at the Christian Bookstore
Have you ever run into the “Up-Sell Guy” at a Christian bookstore?
I ran in to my local Christian Bookstore the other day to buy a greeting card. Here’s how my time at the cash register went:
Up-sell Guy (UG): Hi! Will there be anything else today?
Me: No, thanks. Just the card.
UG: [Pointing to a hanging sign.] Did you know you can pre-purchase the new Crossfit With Jesus DVD coming out in two weeks for a special low price of $12.97? It’s the follow-up to Yoga with Yahweh.
Me: Umm…no, thanks.
UG: [Pointing to a shelf below the register.] Can I interest you in one of our special-buy items for only five dollars with any purchase?
Me: Umm…
UG: Only five dollars…It’s a great deal!
[I glance down at 100 Ways to Instantly Make You a Better Christian.]
UG: [Picks up book.] I love this book. It changed my life.
Me: Really? I’ve never heard of it.
UG: Oh my gosh, you have to get it. It’s amazing!
Me: Hmm. [I pick up a CD.] What kind of music is this?
UG: Oh, that’s awesome. It’s kind of hip-hop, funk, R&B.
Me: Really? The guy’s got an acoustic guitar and wearing a cowboy hat.
UG: Well…it’s got a hip-hop flavor.
Me: I think I’ll pass.
UG: Are you a member of our loyalty club?
Me: No.
UG: Would you like to join? It’s absolutely free. For every 25 purchases you make, we’ll give you a coupon for five percent off one item, excluding sale and clearance items.
Me: That’s tempting, but no thanks.
UG: Well, would you like to sign up to receive emails containing valuable coupons sent directly to your inbox?
Me: Are they more valuable than five percent off one item?
UG: Sorry, I wouldn’t know, store employees aren’t allowed to sign up.
Me: No thanks.
UG: Are you interested in receiving our store catalog?
Me: No.
UG: Would you like to support one of our orphans and get this adorable teddy bear as a special gift? The children were hand-picked by our special orphan-scouting team. Three dollars can feed a child for ten years.
Me: I’ve adopted three special needs children from third world countries. Can that count?
UG: No, I’m sorry. It has to be one of our hand-picked orphans.
Me: No thanks.
UG: Well, let me get you checked out. We’re open 24 hours a day on-line at our website. [Holding up my receipt.] You can take an online survey about your visit today for a chance to win a valuable coupon. There’s one winner every month. Enter my personal code here and, if I did a good job, give me a five. Five equals great. Anything less, four down to one, is considered failing, and I’ll probably get fired. [Smiling.]
Me: Uh…okay. Thanks [I walk to the door to leave].
UG: Have a blessed day!
Have you ever encountered the Up-sell guy at a Christian Bookstore?
For more great writing from Kate, check out her blog!
March 28, 2013
March 27, 2013
Art.
When my daughter McRae was 5, she taught me something about art and life.
She had painted a picture using a spilled bit of ink. It looked like she started with a mistake.
I asked her that and she said, “I can make art out of anything.”
I love that thought, and I think that’s what God does with our lives.
When he redeems, he doesn’t duct tape. He doesn’t improve. He isn’t in the business of better.
He does new.
He does beautiful.
He makes art.
I don’t know what part of your life might not feel frame-worthy right now, what part is broken or chipped or worn out. But I do know that we serve a God who makes art out of the broken pieces.
A God who can make art out of anything.
March 26, 2013
March 22, 2013
“YeshuaTube”
(It’s guest post Friday! Here’s one from Chad Nelson. You can check out his blog or follow him on Twitter. If you want to write a guest post for SCL, here’s how!)
“YeshuaTube”
I got some great insight into our culture the other day from my young buddy and radio co-host Ford Garner. We were discussing the prospect of Jesus among us in 2013 and since he is 19 and connected, I trust his judgment on all things pop culture.
Brief editorial interlude: Ford is a licensed minister, former Homecoming King, Chamber of Commerce “Student of the Year”, in-demand evangelist, college student, middle school youth leader, radio host and has 2000+ Facebook friends. Again, he is 19. The Facebook thing is probably impressive (I’m 42 so no real grasp of the significance) but I am pretty sure my accolades at 19 began and ended with “Most Likely to Waste Money”. Mission accomplished, Mom.
Anyway, we looked around at society and more specifically, church culture. In fact, we discussed an entire YouTube channel devoted to such things for future generations to see how Christ fit our lives in 2013. Welcome to YeshuaTube (we like to keep it real).
Scene: Jesus is teaching the masses when suddenly, someone stands and shouts, “Turn the water into wine again Jesus!” as the audience roars its approval. Five fat hairy guys on the front row pull off their tattered tees and reveal the letters J, E, S, U and S across their substantial bellies. As we pan the audience and do that cool Google Earth flyback, we see the same people who attend a Larry the Cable Guy show dying for the first “git’r done” nod their approval every time David Platt utters “radical”. Wannabe disciples argue over whether Joel Osteen or Rick Warren has a better grasp on our earthly wants and expectations and show their allegiance with retweets of deep-sounding thoughts. No idea what the name of this video will be but rest assured, it includes a sweet play on words that references a cool catchphrase or logo. Maybe a Mountain Dew like image with “Jesus Dew It!” hidden in it.
Scene: Jesus walking among us at the mall. He moves slowly through the pressing crowds as a very sickly young girl reaches for his faded cloak and is healed immediately. As the King of Kings turns to ask who touched His cloak a cap-sporting mom rushes to His side to ask if He’ll make her son Beckham taller and faster. Before anyone can shout “You da man!” to the Prince of Peace, people line up to sit on His lap and ask for Netflix gift cards and better cell coverage. Leaning toward “4G Serve Us, Jesus?” on this one.
Finally, because old school is the new new school (follow me for a sec), we put some OT on YT (um…Old Testament on YeshuaTube).
Scene: Moses (perhaps played by the inexplicably busy Channing Tatum) stands before the Red Sea after leading hundreds of thousands from the clutches of oppressive Egyptian rule. He raises his staff triumphantly (as Adele hits stride on the background track) and begins to pray out loud for the sea to part when suddenly, he is tapped on the shoulder by a serious-looking man. ”Moses, did you get the joint approval of the Sea Parting Committee and Slave Benevolence Committee?” Before Moses can utter a word another voice is heard from the masses, “Not everyone wants to cross so unless we re-vote unanimously, we need to turn around and head back.” As Channing, er…Moses, looks up with perplexed frustration, the Israeli ushers begin to dismiss the group row by row until everyone is marching back toward slavery. Calling this one “I Went to the Red Sea and All I Got Was This T-Shirt”.
Jesus was, is and always will be the Savior of the world. Perhaps this is the year we stop treating Him like a celebrity or Santa or even a committee concept and more as a purpose for our lives. If not, count on YeshuaTube to keep it real.
What are your video ideas?
For more great writing from Chad, check out his blog!
March 21, 2013
My confession.
I don’t think I’ve ever shared this before.
This is something I’ve been keeping inside for years.
Why?
Because I’m probably the only one who does this.
What is this ridiculous confession I need to make?
At church, I constantly watch the sign language translator.
I can’t help myself.
It started out innocently. I wanted to know what a weird word like “hermeneutics” was in sign language.
So I peeked. Ahh, so that’s what it is. I would have never guessed that! And just like that, I was hooked.
Now, if I’m in a church that has a sign language interpreter, I don’t even see the pastor. If you asked me what he looks like at the end of the service, I would say, “Biped, couple of legs, pair of arms, maybe a mustache?”
Even worse, now I look for them when I am speaking. I love seeing how they sign out something like “Jesus Juke” or “Booty, God, Booty.”
Recently at a college, during one of my speeches, the sign language guy got so tired following me he had to tag someone else in to finish the speech.
I love sign language. I worked at a special needs camp in high school where we needed to know a little. So maybe it’s not a huge problem I have, just a little one.
But am I the only one who does this?
Have you ever stared at the sign language interpreter during church?
March 20, 2013
Something for your pocket.
I kept this verse in my pocket for a few years. And maybe it needs to be in your pocket too.
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March 18, 2013
How to teach gringos to say “Jesus.”
A few weeks ago at an event, I met a guy wearing a funny necklace.
Turns out, if you’re name is “Jesus,” people tend to say it a certain way. They tend to mispronounce your name, so my new friend decided to wear this necklace as a helpful education tool.
Well played.
