Bo Hoefinger's Blog, page 31

Fish Raised On Kit Kat Candy Bar

One of the greatest travesty's of justice inflicted upon the canine population is the toxicity chocolate has on our health.

We all know God likes a good joke, but this one is just mean spirited.

Would it have killed the big Dog in the sky to make poinsettas or grapes toxic to our system? Oh, he did.

Well, what about peas or spinach instead? Nobody likes eating that stuff, but it's oh so good for you. At least that's what the main stream nutritionists tell you.

I find it outright cruel that I ...

Orthodontist Gives Sea Turtle Braces – Probably Overbills Him

I'll be the first to bark it, I don't like dentists.

It's not the people behind the profession I have a problem with, in fact many give treats, but the invasive procedures required to clean my teeth.

If I want you to pick out that week old piece of barbeque chicken embedded between my molars, I'll open my jowls and invite you in. If not, stay clear.

It's as simple as knowing your boundaries.

Dentists? They lack this basic social norm and they'll go to any lengths to get what they want. In...

Wallaby Terrorizes Family

I overheard my parents talking last night saying they felt like they were prisoners in their own house.

Apparently taking care of four dogs and one cat has them feeling a bit claustrophobic. It probably hasn't helped that all of us, except Mothball the cat, left the house for dog school only to come back and live with them again. Hey, that's how dogs roll.

My father is forced to walk us in the morning, at night, and if we're lucky truck us over for a stint at the dog park. My mother takes...

Real Life Dog Glows In The Dark

Those crazy humans always look to up the ante on the latest and greatest inventions.

First we had Caveman Ugh, tired of eating cold food, inventing the ad-hoc ability to create fire, thereby creating light.

Then we had Charles Waximoto, the inventor of the candle, sustaining the length of that light.

Soon Eddie Son (not to be confused with the character on The Courtship of Eddie's Father) came up with the light bulb, all so we could hear "Don't leave the lights on if you're not in the room!"

...

Job Opening For Duckmaster At Hotel

It's tough out there.

Try to get a job in this economy and see how long it takes you.

It's pert near impossible to get a coveted government, make work job.  My brother Goliath is lucky, he has one of those. Not government related but the make work variety.

What's his job?

Carrying two jars of pickles in his backpack on our daily walks. If that ain't make work, this dog doesn't know what is. Fill them up with kibble, kitty snickers, or a dead squirrel and we're talking about adding real...

Human Statue Won't Throw Stick For Dog

Sometimes humans are just jackarses.

No, not the type of arse that carries a dog's camping gear from the top of a canyon, down to the river bed, and then back up again.

Nope.

I'm talking about the type that laughs at poor, pathetic dogs who only want to enjoy themselves during the limited time they have on earth. Simple pleasures like chasing a stick.

But no, some humans don't have it in them to even throw the darn thing, like this guy on the bench.

 

Noah's Ark Recreated – Filled With Plastic Animals

Noah's Ark lives!

To every animal the story of Noah's Ark holds a certain charm to it. What other 'tail' do you know that proactively hooks up animals with each other?

When I hear the story, I put myself in the position of the male dog asked to be a passenger on Noah's Love Boat. After being served a bowl of water by Isaac (he's one of the human servants on board), I head back to my cabin. There, a foxy little Wheaton Terrier  awaits my arrival. Our job is simple. To procreate.

I move in to p...

Owner Taunts Talking Dog With Visions of Food

This is one sick owner.

Look how he tortures one of my own, using food imagery as his stick.

Shameful and shameless. Listen as my canine buddy practically has a nervous breakdown by being taunted.

But what do you expect, this owner is human after all.

If you can't see the video, then click here.

Horse Falls Into Home's Basement

I don't know why, but I have a fondness for horses.

I've never seen one up close, although I have had ample opportunities. I lived in upstate New York for years, residing just outside of the famed Saratoga racetrack where thoroughbreds run. Sadly, my old man never took me to a day at the races that featured a picnic for he and my mother and betting away my doggie training money.

He wouldn't even take my bets. A shame, really, because I had a killer system. I could turn 2 milkbones into 1000 w...

Horse Falls In Pool – Water Polo Eligibility Questionable

Looks like it's turning into Equine Week.

After yesterday's posting of a horse falling into a basement, today we have an equine taking a dip in the family pool.

Only way I can explain it is there must be something in the oats these nags are getting. Don't get me wrong, with the heat index as high as it's been, there is nothing more refreshing than taking a dip in the pool or heading to the coolest place in the house.

Well, nothing other than hanging in a squirrel den eating nuts all day.

My p...