Jessica Shepherd's Blog, page 8

You Can Always Reconnect

This summer, I have been beach-reading a number of books from Gothic Romance novelist Victoria Holt, which is probably why into last night’s dream appeared a Governess (!). When she came to me, instead of dressing me in the modern fashions, as she did for the other girls also residing in this beautiful yet eerie Big House, she performed energy work, while declaring in a cockney English accent, “Ooh, this one is vulnerable; we must protect her. Ooh, she awakens in such a state! Out of sorts, she is. She must do this every day – to reconnect.”

The energy shift was palpable, in the dream. I could feel her reaching into deep places, in my muscles and body; myself moving from disconnection, feeling out of sorts, badly, restored into connection. I went from feeling unlike myself entirely, to entirely ME again. I went to the mirror; I was glowing, vibrant, my hair shone like silk.

I loved this dream for several reasons, because… um, magical Governess. But I also felt it was an answer to a question I had asked of Spirit; I had been feeling so tired. I knew something needed adjusting.

This is the message I’ve been receiving, lately:

You can always Reconnect.

You can always reconnect to your Divinity. Reconnect to the Truth of who you are.

No matter what you believe your problem to be, or circumstance, it is absolutely possible to be in total ease and grace, within yourself.

This means one can be physically sick, ill, and also be just fine. Okay. Good, even. In fact, if you’re not, you are engaged in the Ego’s conditioning around duality. “I can’t possibly be good -and- be sick.” Or “I can’t possibly be okay – and- be in this difficult circumstance.”

Yes, you can, Spirit insists. Whereas the Ego finds it extremely difficult to hold multiple, different, even seemingly conflicting realities (seemingly conflicting, but only to the Ego), the Soul has no problem with it. In fact, that is where Soul excels- in being okay with all of it.

OKAY WITH ALL OF IT. Not okay with this but not that. ALL OF IT. No exceptions. This is how we actually embody: peace, ease, grace.

At first, when I asked Spirit about my feeling unwell, I heard: AT EASE. As though a command (it was!). After all, I heard, solutions only arrive in moments of ease and relaxation…so why not BE AT EASE now? It’s the frequency of Light, and how what you want to know will be known.

I stopped fretting about any of it. I let myself go blank, connected, inward. And from that place, I directly asked to be shown the way forward.

Then, soon after being at ease, truly, embodying Ease, I received the dream of the magical Governess — a dream figure and guide who actually helped me understand how to work with my energy more effectively, as well as another bit of helpful advice related to energy.

I consistently receive this kind of guidance because I put my relationship to my Divinity, my True Divine Self, above all else in my life. I make time to Reconnect. This means: Reconnecting as an energy practice several times daily, and holding the intention to listen inward, throughout. It is not just supreme self-care, though this is certainly part of it. It is listening to myself, and acting on what I hear.

I understand that many don’t have the strong desire to Reconnect. Perhaps, instead, preferring the dramatic energies of the Ego’s stories, and even the ups and downs of collective Ego Consciousness, riding the waves of those strange, fearful, doubt-filled, confused energies.

That’s okay, too.

Because you know what?

Ultimately, I’ve learned that it’s a choice. A decision. To dedicate oneself to listening, connecting, inward. It’s one I remake again and again.

Sure, you can still get caught up in stories and energies. But when you feel at ease and okay within yourself, you deeply know and feel that “what’s going on in the world” never truly penetrates the surface. Everyone can be who they are; and things can simply play out, as they will.

Like a dream you can choose to awaken from when you are no longer enjoying it…the gift of Reconnection is knowing that no matter what happens -even when, at times, you get stuck in your thoughts, perceptions, feelings – you are deeply, truly, taken care of, and that all is well.

So, the next time you feel out of sorts, overly caught up in a “problem,” or not enjoying “this”… Remember: You can always Reconnect. When you do, you open the door for your inner guidance to help you, not to mention the contentment, ease and wellness that is always yours.

xx

Jessica

I know you have very fine ways of reconnecting, but if it appeals: I will be offering these types of teaching, and more, in the Intuitive Energy Divination class this fall, utilizing the Intuitive Energy Divination 58 Card Deck + Guidebook. Preorder your copy today! (linked text)

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Forgive Yourself, Quickly

I’ve learned to forgive myself

For the ways I haven’t showed up for me

For the times I’ve overlooked and ignored the nagging feeling, the nausea, the disappointment

For all of the times that I didn’t make the time to feel – to process, to become more aware of, to honor my feelings

For all of the times I misinterpreted what I was really feeling

 

I’ve learned to forgive myself

For all of the stories I’ve ever told myself, wholly believed, and then suffered

For jumping to conclusions, not slowing down to question my perceptions

For overlaying my mind’s story of the moment onto the energy of the moment

For the thought: there is no other way than this… then slowly walking toward misery

 

I’ve learned to forgive myself

For the limits I’ve placed on my possibilities (because I once thought I had so few)

For the belief: I must be doing something wrong (otherwise, I wouldn’t feel this badly), and the energy that belief set into motion

For creating an identity out of pain, turning it into “MY suffering”

For all of the times I made myself sit through discomfort, stay, instead of just. standing. up; instead of walking away

 

I’ve learned to forgive myself

For being so hard on myself, so exacting, self-critical

For having high and unreasonable expectations, along with the accompanying certainty I would fail

For the relentless, miserable, insecurity; so much self-questioning, so much self-doubt

For this is what I learned from the energies I was exposed to, ancestral energy I was born into

 

I’ve learned to forgive myself

Let myself off the hook, to not be perfect

When I feel intense discomfort from making a choice that is not quite right for me

When I am dismissive of the still small voice of wisdom, and do the other thing anyway

When I misinterpret what I feel, and run with a false perception of reality

I am no longer harsh, or unkind

I feel the consequences of my misstep, but I no longer suffer from it

…No longer believing in mistakes, in right or wrong, spiritual lessons, karma, or comeuppance of any form…

I can find light within the shadows

I can find the dance within the sad song

I can bring myself back home, back to Truth

 

I’ve learned to forgive myself –quickly

Then, do it again

To patiently take a few moments to feel what is real for me right now

To say, “I’m sorry. I understand. You are learning, living, in a world of constant change and distraction. You have a good heart.”

Or whatever I need to hear

This makes all the difference – and the quicker, the better

Gone are the hours, days, weeks of prolonged agony; I no longer suffer myself

This is how I now move through the world unencumbered

Free.

– words inspired by the Self Forgiveness card in the Intuitive Energy Divination Deck. (click here to pre-order).

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Your Golden Shadow

Friends, The Leo planets are upon us (now Venus, Mars; soon Sun). ‘Twas never a more ideal time to own your Brilliance, Beauty and Power!

When I was in my early twenties, I recall watching a couple who lived across the street of my apartment. They were so beautiful, and they were clearly in so much love – the authentic, grounded kind of love I wanted to have one day. Since their house and garden faced directly across my window, I’d settle in and watch on more than one occasion, watching their gardening, grocery-carrying, conversation.

I wasn’t exactly stalking them. I coveted what they had, and when they were around, shining their love so brightly, it was hard to turn away from – for that was what I so deeply wanted for myself.

Only much later, when I began doing the Love Alchemist’s Notebook work to attract my Soul’s mate into my life, I realized there was something profound for me hidden within this almost-obsession.

They were showing me my Golden Shadow — qualities that were mine, to integrate, have, and hold and own as my own, but qualities which, at that point, I was still projecting outside of myself.

What is a Golden Shadow?

It is YOU, in your most expanded, real, True, Divine, GOLDEN glory.

And because it is your Shadow, it is: the Other you are jealous of, obsess over, infatuated with, or even annoyed by. It is that influencer who, when they pop up on social media, you get a pang of “Oh, Goddess, THAT. I want that.” It is the nighttime dream of being in the shadows of someone spectacular, beautiful, wealthy, brilliant – your own particular and unique version of the VIP, your most important person ever.

Paradoxically, you are that VIP. Yes, just as in dream interpretation – it really is all about YOU!

BUT as long as you stay in this relationship to yourself, believing what you want, what you are capable of, indeed, who you truly are, to be so thoroughly outside of yourself that you must give all of your golden brilliance and beauty to another person to live out for you…you will not be a co-creator, and you will not manifest the waking dreams of your most fabulous Divine Self.

Your Golden Shadow is your beauty, brilliance, power, creativity, artistry, authority – you name it, it’s yours.

Yes, what you most want to experience in yourself, for yourself, IS yours… but only if you can name it and claim it.

But how?

Because I’ve recognized this figure in myself in various forms over the years, now, when I encounter my Golden Shadow, I see it for what it is.

Now, I recognize when someone elicits a lustful “I WANT,” it is time to unravel what, precisely, specifically, this person or thing represents for me.

The pang of jealousy, the envy, fascination, and even annoyance, sometimes… ahhhh, She is ME. She has something that I think I don’t have, but I do, I just need to step into more fully. Because my identity is not rooted in my Ego but my Soul, I have practiced really sitting in this knowing: I can have this. I can have it ALL. I know that when a desire, any desire, is authentically Soul-driven ultimately nothing will successfully oppose it. But…Will I allow myself to have it? That’s always the million-dollar Golden Shadow question. Baby steps

Then, I will do a little embodied energy work to take all of this awareness in more deeply, so that my Ego really believes what my Soul knows to be True. I make sure that I have an embodied experience of sitting in this Truth. Then, I’m done. What happens next?

When I take the time to do these steps, the prickly annoyance and pangs stop, and that projected Golden Shadow loses all of its allure.

Honestly, it’s bit like falling out of love with someone you are endlessly annoyed with/fascinated by… because you finally realize that what you were trying to get from them was inside of you all along, waiting for your own recognition, love, integration. You no longer “need” them to be your personal projection screen for all things beautiful (or ugly), good, right, pure, authoritative- or whatever it is you think they have and you don’t.

You realize YOU are that beautiful person.

YOU are the exceptional healer, artist, poet, musician, rock star, actor, author, comedienne, beautiful wife, mother, lover…

And that’s when REAL LOVE, TRUE LOVE, SOULFUL LOVE can actually, finally, occur in your life.

Not only with other people, perhaps for the first time ever, but most importantly, within YOU.

Why does this integration change your life so entirely? You are choosing from an entirely different place and perspective. You are choosing to be the One who lives her Dreams and Divinity; and that star-quality person doesn’t farm out ANY of her qualities to others.

((I have to reiterate, too, that a fundamental foundational Truth must also be present for this shift to occur; you must also decide to stop living from the “hungry ghost” of your Ego- the identity of lack and attachment – and start living from your Divine Identity – an identity of permanent abundance. In other words, you cannot keep living from the Orphan Annie archetype while also manifesting your inner Oprah, or whomever…))

When you come home to yourself, you no longer need someone to Facebook “stalk” LOL.

Because you realize that exceptional healer, lover, artist, poet, partner…is and has been YOU, all along.

It’s amazing how working with your Golden Shadow can transform you. (So, gentle reminder: Never dismiss “negative feelings” you have towards others– including envy, obsession, jealousy and annoyance. These difficult feelings can be your alchemical salvation – and they often are.)

With all Shadow work, the truism is: “If you can see it, it’s yours.”  This is true for the Golden Shadow, too!

xx

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Venus Signs Republished & Write With Me

A Tale of Two Venuses

You asked and I listened.

When a reader emailed to ask if Venus Signs was really re-selling for well over $100, I felt a bit incredulous…then called to republish it. Llewellyn decided to let it go out of print a few years back; the publishing rights had reverted to me. But taking back the rights didn’t mean I could run with it. There were untenable (but well-edited) documents to work with, fonts and artwork to hunt down and purchase. Thus, I somewhat reluctantly began the arduous process – from buying the cover art and reformatting it to taking an almost unworkable document and making it word processor friendly. BUT Spirit had encouraged me, insisting it would be “easy!” Ha! (in hindsight, my question was not specific enough. I had been worried about getting the cover right at that point, and so Spirit was encouraging me about the cover art, which was very easy by comparison).

Anyhow. Long story even longer, LOL, Venus Signs, edition no. 2, is now fully available for you to purchase over at Amazon.com. As said, there are multiple price points offered so for the print version be sure and choose the one for $16.99 – comparatively, a bargain! (And, Amazon, I know. They really are taking over the world, ugh. Yet I’ve found it to be the best option for self-publishing, for me, at this time. On that note, if you are boycotting Amazon, I fully understand, and I also hope you can connect with me in my other various avenues).

It really is a gorgeous book, inside and out, so if you haven’t gotten your copy yet (electronic and hard copy), you can easily pick those up now.

Here are the two Venuses, above, side by side. It’s hard to tell the original from my version — which makes me feel very, very, proud. It also makes me think of the two faces of Venus- Good Witch and Bad Witch, the self-neglected Venus -which I explore in detail in VS.

Let’s Write Together!

Self-expression can be natural, supple and easy – as natural as weather, as sensual as a tropical flower, as easy as the cycle of your breath or movement of your body. Energy practices and prompts will help open you to even more possibilities for yourself. Whether you identify as a writer or would like to explore your voice, your creative Spirit will feel nurtured by writing in a gentle, welcoming and embodied space. 

When a different reader expressed excitement and interest in writing, together, that little inspiration also stayed with me and took hold. I have been writing a bit more whimsically, creatively at  butterfliesandcoffee.com site,which was where this particular reader expressed her enthusiasm.

If this interests you, please reply to me at jessica@butterfliesandcoffee.com. I will put you on an email list and email you a link to join in. It will come from butterflies, so if, like me, you are inclined to email one and then forget all about it, you might want to put this address in your address book right now.

It will be Sunday July 11, 11 AM HAST. Again, if you are interested, can’t make that time, or differing timezones make this prohibitive, this may be ongoing, and/or the timing may shift, so get on the list, anyhow.

Finally, for those of you who, through all of these transformative years, are still resonating with my words and work (this website was launched in 2003 -can you believe it?!), thank you so much for your continued support and enthusiasm. For the past few years, especially, my Soul has asked me to more fully let go of what feels out of alignment… and step more fully into my expanded Self…often without knowing what’s next. This year, my birthday fell on a full moon which feels significant. Full moon birthday years allude to more activity, relationship-wise, and they are more public (versus private) years. I have felt very inward for a long while now; so truly this feels like a big shift. Plus, June always feels like a new beginning…summer has that romance about it…and perhaps because it’s my birthday month, too.

I look forward to another trip ’round the Sun.

And I look forward to connecting with you in new ways this year!

 

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What would it feel like to…?

Are you struggling with something you can’t seem to shift or change? Often, when we find ourselves engaged in a sort of futile internal gridlock, we are actually making conscious or unconscious statements about our experience which reinforces staying stuck.

This will never change… I can’t figure this out… I don’t know how to change XYZ.

Statements create blockage; they do not shift our reality because they are not invitations for change.

Statements reflect and therefore reinforce our current experience — the one we do not want to be having.

Questions invite actual solutions.

Ask as though it has been answered and it shall be…Questions invite our Divine Self to step in and provide the solution. Because, in Divine Reality there are no true problems, only solutions to be discovered (every question or problem in Divine Reality has already been answered and solved), asking the right question invites that solution to appear for us.

I have been struggling with Insomnia. It is an old struggle; cyclical, and always transitory planetary activity (often, during eclipse season and Neptune transits) -sensitively feeling energies I cannot control- are a major factor in this temporary cycle…yet it still understandably bothers me.

Today, resting on the sofa, the Surrender card popped into my head. Tuning into the swaying palms and the gentle breeze on the lanai, I thought: I am ready to feel something different. And, so instead of using “complaining” statements I decided to try something different.

Instead of stating “I can’t figure out how to XYZ” I asked: ”What would it feel like to XYZ?” Then I waited. It didn’t take long.

WHOA! my energy body answered. Yessss, it said, It feels just like this. A wave of warmth, connection, knowing, relaxation, and deep peace washed over me. I felt Oneness. I felt it truly didn’t matter whether I was able to nap or not, and that All Is Well. This is the Truth.

Isn’t this exactly what we are all after? It’s not necessarily the thing we want, it’s the feeling we think its resolution will give us. There is nothing to solve, only awareness to step into. When in this space, everything is okay. Nothing needs to be resolved because it already has.

Often, when we are extremely sensitive and aware it’s a double edged sword because we can easily feel so much. If you are struggling to “figure out” how to have a different experience, know this: You have a remarkable sensitive feeling nature and you can use this ability to connect with your Divinity. You can utilize your capacity to feel anything and everything, by asking: What would it feel like to XYZ…?

…And, since “how?” can be such a bugaboo question, instead of asking yourself how, over and over again in that self-defeating way that creates so much angst in your energy field, you can ask Spirit/Your Divinity to simply SHOW you how…through your energy body.

Whether you want peace, love, relaxation, health, abundance, empowerment, grounding… Ask, what would it feel like to…?  Instead of making the same old statement, become curious. You can have a different experience. You are Divine; you can call forth anything.

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Every little thing She does is Magic

Solar Eclipses often create awareness of birth, death and change.

Yesterday, I saw a baby bird being “played with” by a naive puppy, of which the owner, my neighbor, was unaware. Trying everything in my power to stop it, I felt so helpless watching from the other side of the fence. After a good cry (to release the trauma), this morning I discovered a bird’s next right next to my bedroom window! A reassuring symbol for the perpetuation of life. Life goes on…

The Goddess is everywhere.

Her Magic is available everywhere, if you want to look for it.

For instance, a week ago I am talking to a friend about allowing myself to let go of an old form to step into a new one, when in front of me walks a lizard, who is literally shedding its skin. This symbol is so potent it prompts me to ask my friend: What skin are you shedding? She tells me that she is also going through a monumental life-changing event, but she is also tired of transformation. I suggest the message might be that transformation doesn’t have to be hard, it can be a normal part of life, as natural, as easy, as lizard shedding its old skin.

I am a big fan of Grace and Ease.

…not the same as easy, but it is being in alignment with What IS.

What strikes me about the lizard, too, is it appears to be eating its skin. I don’t know whether it is — frankly, there was so much skin shedding going on for this lizard it could’ve just gotten caught in its mouth. But it makes me immediately think, Transformation IS nourishing…

So is talking with her. This conversation (with a beautiful client who became a friend), makes me miss having conversations like this. I love having conversations with, and in, Truth. 1:1 client work has always been my main source for this. But I’ve recently decided to allow myself to change. To allow myself to shed old skin, to change form, from what I’ve known and done up till now, professionally, to what I want to explore next.

I have decided to allow myself to step into an expanded direction, and (often but not always) this means leaving else something behind.

Today, I am looking for a place to plant parsley. An ordinary herb, I catch myself thinking. I notice the once vibrant strawberry plant in the feng shui Abundance sector of our lanai. I have been wondering about that plant, unsure whether to throw it away (is it really dead?). Hmmm. It is done. There is no life left here, I can see that now. I decisively toss the plant out, thanking it for its sweet berries and flowers. I start to repot the space with parsley, when suddenly what I have just done occurs to me: I have officially let go of an old form of Abundance, and have decided to replace it with something new. I just love strawberries, a fruit of Venus (the planet of one-on-one counseling) and so have been loathe to give it up/give up. I have been holding on to what has been so rewarding for me, in so many ways. Yet this particular phase has run its course.

Instead of being sad, I am encouraged. And excited that, yes, once again Magic has made an appearance in my life, to reassure and support my unfolding path. I AM encouraged!!! I excitedly scurry over to one of my favorite symbolism interpreters: Google. Typing in “symbolic meaning of parsley”, the first search result that appears, for me, is: the sharing of knowledge. I also learn it is a very useful, practical herb, suitable for various conditions- including one in particular I am currently wrapping my head around. And, according to some, it has a way of resolving bitterness both digestively and spiritually. Oh my goodness, I think, I just planted the ruler of my third house north node- my ninth house Saturn in Gemini!

I recall a teacher who once told me that I am not here to offer exclusive and romantic 1:1 candlelight dinners with my work, but I AM here to host a dinner cruise for many people. Oh, I am wanting to create Abundance with the power of Parsley. I want to do this parsley thing with my Divination deck.  Offer my services to you, share practical knowledge and wisdom, in a new way, teaching in groups. Oooh, the Magic of Parsley!

This is how Magic works.

How every day and ordinary life is your oracle, mirror to your True Self, portal for Connection to Your Divinity…to the Goddess you are.

Symbolism is my Magic.

For as long as I can remember, I have read the signs, omens, stars, the energy. Over and over, I have connected to my Divine Self with and through the natural world. Once, I remember, a boy who took me to a beautiful rose garden. Almost unfathomably, none of the roses had any scent. I couldn’t smell a thing. We both remarked on this fact. Right then and there I knew he was not and would never be The One for me.

Why look for Magic in the world? When so much else competes for your attention, why bother?

Magic helps us to feel Connected to our Divine True Self, and to the Divine Everything.

It is the whisper of the Goddess,
Yessss...I AM listening. We are here for you.

It is the affirmation of your Divine Identity, Yessss…You matter. Your care, nurturance, presence and attention are very much appreciated.

It is safety and interconnection with All of Life, Yessss…You are IN Divine Interdependence. You are cherished and held, Right Here.

…And it adds sparkle, surprise AND encouragement to your days. It says, Yessss…Be encouraged. Be excited by the unknown. It will be Good!!!

At this New Moon Solar Eclipse in Gemini, during this time of transition, change and liminality, a particular quality of Goddess Magic is especially available for all of us. To find it, get Present to yourself. Listen inward. Then, be open to the signs and symbols that appear in your life. They are all around you. Sacred conversation with your most expansive Divine Feminine energy is available when you get Present enough to hear it.

Remember, the Goddess is in All Things, even ordinary, humble, ones (parsley). As Sting once crooned, Every Little Thing She Does is Magic…

p.s.- oooh, and the mash-up picture above? I didn’t intend to include a picture of my cards in this post but when I went to insert the Eclipse Goddess picture I created, it was “accidentally” (aka Accidentally by Divine Design) inserted …so I am going to leave it right here.

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Permission

Dear Friends,

A Sagittarius Full SuperMoon Eclipse rumination – inspired by the Permission card in my forthcoming Intuitive Energy Deck. 

You have Permission
To want things that are out of your reach
Then, you have Permission to release the wanting, so you can feel peace

You have Permission to change
To no longer do what you have done, be who you have been
You have Permission to no longer want what you once wanted

You have Permission to say No to what no longer lights you up
Over and over and over, so many No’s, you lose count
Until all that is left is one stark desire, your YES

You have Permission to be sad, to grieve change
What was tethered to that former desire, self, life has to be let go, too
Because you understand growth also means saying goodbye,
You have Permission to own this full-bodied wisdom of light and dark, bitter and sweet
To feel your life’s complexity entirely, to feel it all

You have Permission to be frustrated in the time-between No and Yes
To keep looking for something more than this
To wonder why you still feel this way, after so many weeks/months/years
To not understand “why?”
To wonder, “If I’ll ever…”
To not know the overarching plan, purpose or meaning for your life
To still want answers that you cannot give yourself
You have Permission to be in the dark

You have Permission to no longer make yourself less-than,
or not enough,
or wrong,
for all of these things are truly out of your hands
-including your Soul’s unfolding, happening in its own pace and time-
You have Permission to not take responsibility for what you cannot control

You have Permission to stop trying to heal or fix yourself
To stop believing yourself to be broken
You have Permission to stop believing that changing yourself will change anything at all
You have Permission to set it down
Permission to give yourself space to breathe

You have Permission to allow this chapter, this section, of your Book of Life, to be exactly As It Is

You have Permission to take just one step toward nurturing yourself in this moment
One step toward self-kindness, and joy
You have Permission to follow your tentative impulse to reach for pleasure, relaxation, ease
To Trust only in this: what feels Right to you in this moment
Without knowing whether it will lead to anything beyond the feeling it gives you right now

You have Permission to be Present
To empty yourself out, Permission to let go entirely
To center yourself in the spacious awareness of I Am

You have Permission to call forth Grace in yourself, for yourself
To be okay within your swirling thoughts and feelings
To be okay within all you cannot control- change, time, the World, Consciousness Itself

You have Permission to not define yourself by what you have, are, or do
…And to give yourself unimaginable levels of Permission, anyhow
To seize every opportunity for joy, self-kindness, beauty, tenderness
Permission to live your life with abandon, to be ravished by your own Self-Permission

You have Permission to stop waiting for another’s Permission, if that’s what you’ve been doing

Permission to ask the question: How have I been holding out on myself?

Permission to experience delicious and freeing self-affirmation

…when you finally decide to give all you’ve been denying yourself, to yourself

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Do You Want to Know the Truth?

Do you want to know the Truth?

It exists inside you, in your body.

Do you want to know the Truth? Really? Notice what comes up for you with this question, because…

Sometimes we think we are afraid to know what we already know.

This is a catch-22 though, for as long as we remain disconnected from what we know, we will remain afraid. Because are not in our own energy. And that feels inherently bad. When we are not at home in our self, not connected to who we Truly Are, we will feel the fear and anxiety circulating in external Ego consciousness, and that of our own unresolved conditioning. While attending to Ego consciousness it becomes impossible to discern our own Truth.

So why do we fear it? We fear Truth because we are used to thinking it will ask us to do something we don’t want, or that it will take something away. Yet that is just conditioning. Ask anyone: It feels so much better, freer, to be in Truth, in inner alignment, than not. The Truth always feels good, even if it surprises the Ego, or asks you to dig deep to make life changes you thought you didn’t/don’t want (but you actually, honestly, do). The Truth always sets you free.

The thing about Truth is, like the Sun and Moon, even when we cannot see it; it is always right here. It remains, inarguable, irrefutable, triumphant, and simply awaits recognition. It does not care who “believes” in it. It only longs for you to experience it for yourself, inside yourself. A direct experience of Truth? Yes. It requires only for you to sincerely ASK.

These days, many are in conflict, fear, paranoia, suspicion, confusion, conditioning… (did I leave anything out?!) about vaccination. If you are tuned into this energy, which is literally everywhere, you are not “at home” in yourself; you are not sitting in your Truth. Know this: Truth and fear/paranoia/conflict/confusion cannot coexist. So if you think you know your own mind and you are feeling any of these things, you are not quite there yet.

This is an awesome invitation to ask to know the Truth, for yourself. This is not a dilemma for you to resolve with your mind, but to inquire deeply from within, in your Soul. There is no argument or objection you need to address, no one to convince (not even your own mind!); this answer is for no one other than you, and it can, if you allow it, arise as peacefully and effortlessly as a bubble coming to the surface from the bottom of a tranquil lake of pure YOU.

Whether I do this for myself, or with clients, the process is the same. I ground, root and center. Then I drop down into my Root and ask the question. For me, regarding the vaccine, I asked the question: Is this Right and safe for me? from a fully grounded, rooted, centered, place.

I listened to my belly, my gut, my pelvic floor, my Root. Instantly, I felt expansion of warm liquid, light, pure peace, the YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS that goes on forever and ever. And then what? I trust this YES. I give this YES, this internal sense of knowing-ness more power than thoughts or any external story. Even after I had a few strange symptoms, following my first vaccination shot, I kept going back to TRUSTING MY TRUTH.

This is how to align with Truth. How to recognize Truth (because, nowadays, it seems many are having difficulty recognizing what is True). In Truth, there is no side to take. Nothing to sort out. In Truth, there is no argument to deconstruct, or external authority to heed. There is only the integrity of inner knowing. We connect with our Divine Authority…and as we consistently listen to and act from this place, we grow in self-congruence, self-trust, self-knowing. Instead of seeking sources outside of our self, we become the Source we are seeking.

This is what I love to teach; I do not love giving anyone answers about how to live their life, walk their path. I love sharing how I do it, how it works for me, so that you can do it for yourself. This is what I know to be True.

Love,

Jessica

Card 2: Root
Your body never lies. It will tell you the Truth.

You have a seat of power. It is a visceral and felt experience in your energy body—your Root, located at chakras one and two, respectively. Your Root is part of your body’s energy system, and is linked to your: physical sense of safety, security, autonomy, creativity, sexuality and your connection to Divine Feminine Truth. Your Root not only helps you to feel safe and secure, it also helps you to know, speak, and embody your Truth with clarity and objectivity.

Have you been feeling easily swayed by others’ energies, shaky in your Truth? Out of your seat of power, so to speak? Have you been feeling uncertain about the legitimacy of what you feel and know? Not trusting those deeper feelings that will always guide you toward your Soul’s authentic knowing? Are you feeling unsteady, unsafe? It’s time to get back into your Root. Take a few minutes to sink a little more deeply into your seat, and your pelvic bowl. It may help to initially squeeze your buttock muscles, your sphincter, or do a few kegels; simply becoming aware of the area where butt meets seat can make all the difference! Now, similar to the way your favorite cuddly animal settles in, you want to really nestle down into your bum. Sense the juicy, alive energy of your internal organs cradled within your pelvic bowl. You might even imagine your pelvis as an actual bowl, protected sea cove, or a natural spring, and feel your own sweet liquid light energy gently filling up this inner space. Invite and allow your light energy to move through this area, expand into your tailbone and the area behind your kidneys, then allow it to move down your legs, feet, and into Mother Earth.

Now, check in. Notice how different you feel after doing this practice. Do you feel expansive, more secure, more in your power? Are you clearer in the Truth of what you feel, and who you are? Whether you are taking a stand, presenting your ideas, or you want to connect to your own Truth about anything at all, this practice empowers inner knowing. Being in your Root is integral to feeling supple and aligned in your energy body, so, ideally, you will want to make this practice a part of your everyday energy maintenance. Rooting helps you stay in your own energy, stay neutral in emotional situations, and True to yourself!

Symbol: Sea coral. Coral: vegetable or animal? Corals are called “sessile animals,” which means they are animals that permanently root on the ocean floor. Through their symbiotic relationship with algae, and the process of photosynthesis, they provide a staggering amount of life support for all of ocean life. It’s not hard to energetically feel the similarity between coral and our own Root. Coral reefs are the sea’s seat of power; ours is in our pelvic bowl, and our abdominal viscera (reproductive, digestive organs) actually resembles these interesting organic shapes. As we breathe the Light of awareness into this juicy and alive area, we re-nourish at core levels. We take up more space in our self. When we are energetically down here, in our gut, we ably discern what’s True for us. Coral reminds you to sink deeply into your nourishing Root for self-empowerment and Divine connection.

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Be Light

Wow, what a month, right? Spring has really turned up the volume.

I’ve sat down to write you several times. I’ve written things I haven’t sent you. This happens sometimes. When energy gets intense, rapid –when much is happening, quickly—not only is it hard to put down one concise message, there are many occurring simultaneously.

Today, I realized that during these times when energies accelerate and shift -always a time when lingering unresolved stuff gets kicked up in different ways- and yet there is one thing all of us can do.

It’s a catch-all. Kind of like a butterfly net, it covers every random flying object. And it’s an invitation to go boldly forth, to go deeper and wider into the work many of you are already doing.

It’s my Be Light card. Card no. 58 in my deck that is so close to finished. It’s a trump card…before that good word got energetically funky. In card lingo, a trump card is the most valuable -a winner takes all kind of card. You’ll see why Be Light is the winner takes all card.

Whatever is coming up for you…old habits, persistent patterns of thought, ways you feel stuck, not yet perfected or fixed, you can drop it all at any time. By remembering, and really sinking into the awareness: this (_your current “not enough” here_) isn’t who you Truly are.

Because it’s not. Imagine being in a cramped dark room and you see a door with light peeking from underneath. You walk to the door and you open it. Now, there is only Light. YOU. It really can be this easy, to recenter, to come back to peace and calm. It does NOT have to be a struggle.

Okay, you ask…I get the metaphor, but how? Every time you come up against your old conditioning and programming, the old habits of thought, try allowing yourself to be okay, anyhow– with all of it. Sit with it. Really acknowledge it is here, gently exhale, soften, and welcome it down into your Light- which I viscerally feel in my pelvic bowl, as a bowl of light.

Just in writing this, doing this with you in real time, I can sense I am dropping in a little bit deeper. Into clarity. Into Truth. I just realized I picked up a little debris, somewhere out there, triggering an old conditioned habit which I’m now clearing…into Light.

This is the power of doing this kind of practice. When you commit to being in Presence, you become your own healer. You are that anyhow, but maybe right now we all need to remember that we do have this power, this certainty.

Actually, at the beginning of April, this phrase came to me: Spirit wants your certainty. 

Self-doubt is prevalent right now. I’m hearing it – out there. For myself, I’m inviting it in. I allow the certainty of who I know I TRULY AM to meet the doubt. Hold it. Listen to its objections. Not push it away, and then simply watch it dissolve into space.

This is another way of saying what I’m telling you here in Be Light. So…go Be Light! Enjoy!

Jessica

Card 58: Be Light

Be determined to embody the Light you are.

Who are you? You are Light. Light is your birthright. It has been here with you since birth and will be with you after death. It is your inner sanctuary, best friend, your precious Soul inside, energizing your creations and guiding you toward greater fulfillment and wholeness. The appearance of this card suggests it is time to claim the Light you are. Distracted, by old habits and conditioned thoughts, you may be looking for peace, certainty and calm in all the old, wrong, places. It is not where you yet aren’t, what you don’t yet have, or who you’ve already been—Light is right here and now, in who you already are and all you have!

You are being called to action, to embody yourself, your Light, on levels you previously have not, and to live from that place of Light. No matter where you think you are in your personal growth, consider this your invitation to step into your radiance, to own your magnificent and powerful luminosity, your LIGHT. How will you experience this Divine You? You can dance, play, watch sunset…or simply step into who you are in each moment, because, as you have been learning through every card in this divination deck, Light is ALL you are. Now is the time to completely lay to rest the belief that your Divinity exists outside of you. Any ideas that have you thinking: you are separate from Source, alone in this world, or that something outside or inside you must change in order to simply be okay, keeps you from feeling and knowing the beautiful bliss and Love you already are.

Know this: There’s a certain determination of Spirit required of you right now. No one is going to hand out permission to Be Light. No one will tell you who or how to be. You must claim it. By feeling your Light, knowing yourself as Light, and standing dignified and strong in your deepest convictions about yourself, you are and will be shown the way forward. So, be a little more stubborn about what you want from life, the kind of experiences you desire to get there, and how you want to feel as you move through the world. Own your certainty, wisdom, clarity, decisiveness, and joy. Step into what lights you up and you will instantly know yourself as Light. Nothing can touch or dim your brilliant Light. Be Light to know, feel, and experience it!

Symbol: Lighthouse. For a ship nearing land in a foggy storm, what a relief to see this beacon of Light. You, too, have a safe, peaceful, still harbor within, ever steady, right here. It is inside you; during times of doubt, distress or darkness, you can turn inward and reconnect to feel it. Just as the lighthouse is a refuge of safety, the one and only true way to feel certain and safe in this (sometimes) stormy world is to connect to your Light within. This is the ultimate form of energetic protection. Know yourself as Light in everything you are and do. Not for the purpose of being someone for another, or for the world, but for the fact that you truly like yourself, and it feels really good to be you! Just as a reflective surface multiplies it, being in your Light will ignite others to shine more brightly. In fact, Being Light is the only way to affect good. Be Light!

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Befriending Vulnerability

Do you ever have that jumbled up feeling of frustration – and nothing you are doing seems to be working in the way you’d like? When this happens for me I often discover I’m not being honest about what I’m feeling. I’m not acknowledging my vulnerability.

This impacts my energetic vibration, which in turn, like magic, affects everything I touch. Through the law of attraction, I start getting jumbled and unclear results in life. The book I’m editing in Word throws endless obstacles at me. An old back problem acts up.

Eventually, I’m reduced to tears. Which is the place where it all needs to clear, anyhow! I realize, Oh, that’s what I have been feeling…I had been holding all of it at bay.

Many who read my work recognize that I am openly vulnerable with you. This is not because I’m masochistic. It’s because vulnerability, a willingness to honestly feel what I feel- no matter how strange, confusing or terrifying the idea of feeling it- is the most direct and efficient taproot I can find to Truth. Feelings connect us to Truth. It is an amazing and often overlooked resource, this ability to feel things so deeply. Like seeing the sun after an overcast day, we suddenly see clearly when we could not, had we not honestly acknowledged our feelings. Truth clears things up, quickly. We quickly feel good again. At peace with our self.

Vulnerability requires our honest acknowledgement of what we feel. But embracing vulnerability also means figuring out how to truly soothe ourselves.  I was on a basketball court yesterday, roller skating, when I witnessed a young boy throwing a tantrum. He apparently thought his dad had done something really offensive while playing ball, and he simply refused to be consoled. He lay down in the middle of that hot court and wailed. When grandpa tried to cheer him up with a joke, then with (gasp!) the offensive ball, he wailed even louder and got up, ran to the other side of the court, laid face down again and cried and cried.

I deeply relished his tantrum- which says something about how I’d been feeling! I loved that he let it all out, full body, and just went with what he felt, totally in his subjective experience.  Meanwhile, dad was on the cell phone texting. Mom was walking around with baby. Grandpa had attempted to soothe him. He refused it. Release, when we need it in this way, is the soothing balm itself. Other times, we must figure out the right words or action, to reassure, calm, hold, our upset heart.

I recently read a few words from another healer, about vulnerability, that gave me pause. She suggested feeling our vulnerability is a service we give to others. I, too, think it makes us relatable, as I’ve discovered over and over writing to you. Vulnerability certainly connects us to our shared humanity in a way nothing else can. But more deeply, lately, at least for me, I find its truer value is that my vulnerability connects me to ME. When I feel my internal feelings opening up like a flower, I feel myself opening to ever greater degrees of Presence. Truth. To what’s real. Then, since my energy body comes back online and into a high vibration, again, almost magically the Word document cooperates and my back problem resolves!

I’d love to share the Vulnerability card, from my forthcoming Intuitive Energy Divination Deck, with you (for the first time ever, I am publisher, writer -AND- artist, so it’s been slow yet steady. I am making great progress- the cards are feeling complete, and the guidebook proof is being ordered today. Yay!). Our vulnerability is beautiful, as the beauty of this particular card continues to remind me. Since Libra Full Moon, this past Sunday, joined Venus and Sun with the asteroid, Chiron, which I associate with befriending our tenderest parts, our human vulnerability…May you hold yourself with great care, this week- and always.

Card 19: Vulnerability

Your feelings need your honesty and soothing.

Card Meaning: Life can bring us to our knees. We all experience pain, loss. Someone doesn’t treat us in the way we want to be treated. We survive unfairness, tragedies, and trauma. All of this happens because we are human, and through absolutely no fault of our own. Some days, we just feel exceptionally vulnerable and sensitive to any and all of it, often without knowing why this particular day is any different from the one that came before it.

Now is the moment to befriend your vulnerability. To befriend means “be a friend”—to you. You don’t have to be so strong all the time. You are human, friend. You are strong, and you are also delicate, fragile. You bleed when you get cut, you feel homesick for someone, or someplace else, just like the rest of us. This is a beautiful existence, and while there is so much to be grateful for, your eyes still need to water occasionally with the sheer madness, sadness, frustration, confusion, shock, or pain of it all.

Unfortunately the world doesn’t always have a friendly relationship to vulnerability, which makes it more difficult to soften into. Were you, like many, given the early message that feeling vulnerable, having strong feelings, makes you weak? Actually, the opposite is true. In disconnecting from the Truth of your feelings, you paradoxically have less ability to respond to difficult energies and challenges—to life itself. Feeling your feelings always makes you stronger. Right now, can you offer yourself permission to curl up in a ball for a while? To fall apart? To shut the door and shut out the world? To cry? To be honest about how you really feel – no matter how terrified you are of feeling them? To trust that your authentic feelings will always lead you back home to yourself? Because they will. Your feelings can’t hurt you. As difficult as they are to feel, on the other side of any uncomfortable feeling exists peace and calm. Your feelings always connect you back to yourself, and to Truth. Often, the quickest remedy for feeling vulnerable is actually saying aloud, verbally, to yourself or another, “I feel really vulnerable today…” and allowing healing release to flow. Vulnerability is built into the human experience, and while there is no preventative against feeling vulnerable, allow your tears to flow, your heart to bleed, and you’ll feel strong again. Deny yourself this and you lose connection to Truth, and a host of precious resources inherent to your nature. You have permission to feel all that is real. To feel. And to hold yourself well, as you do. To be lovingly tended to by your nurturing Divine Self!

Symbol: Crab, Moon, and coral peony flower. Crab holds up its pincher in a defensive posture, knowing that all that separates its tender insides from the harsh world is its delicate, thin shell, while Cosmic Mother Moon looks on, assuring this too will pass. The capacity to feel everything you do—feel this vulnerable, have skin this thin—can seem a double-edged sword, yet feeling all that you do connects you with everything that is real in life. And as the saying goes…the Truth will set you free. Honoring and befriending your feelings also protects you from picking up on external energies that have nothing to do with you. Feelings guide you toward who and what is for you, and away from who or what is not. So, love your vulnerable feelings! Regard your sensitivity and vulnerability as the rare and special thing it is, like the exotic coral peony flower.

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