Matthew Dicks's Blog, page 686
July 5, 2010
Calling for a change in etiquette
I don't understand the obsessive need to clink each and every single glass during a toast? With six or eight or ten people at the table, is it really necessary to navigate your glass amongst the half dozen others in an effort to make glass-on-glass contact with each and every one?
What ever happened to the ceremonial raising of the glass, or better yet, the un-orchestrated joining of glasses at the center of the table without concern for which two glasses ultimately touched? As with many...
July 4, 2010
Keep it simple
As a practicing minimalist, I find most religions to be obscenely complicated. This is why I could never convert to Judaism, even if it's my wife's religion.
Do you know how many laws the Jews have?
This includes laws that forbid the borrowing on money with interest (no more credit cards or mortgages), as well as outlawing the mixing of cotton and linen.
These two laws alone make the religion utterly untenable. Let alone the other 611, many of which are equally ridiculous...
The...
July 3, 2010
Wheres the love?
Doesn't anyone know how to propose anymore?
As most of you know, my proposal to Elysha was a carefully orchestrated event that I wanted her to remember forever. It was a coordinated effort by many friends and family members, and I'm eternally thankful to them all.
You can read about it here.
But over the past few days, I've heard about a few engagements that were less than stellar.
One guy asked his wife to marry him in the parking lot of the jewelry store where the engagement ring...
July 2, 2010
Recognition for SOMETHING MISSING
SOMETHING MISSING has been nominated for the Salt Lake County Reader's Choice Award. It's one of twenty-eight books nominated this year, based upon recommendations by staff and customers. These books are purchased in multiples and placed on display at each Salt Lake County Library for a four-month period. After reading any of the books on the Reader's Choice list, customers may rate the books, and the book with the highest rating will be declared the winner!
If you find yourself in...
Possible murder scenario
In a dream last night, it occurred to me that strangulation would be an excellent means by which to murder me, since I do not bruise.
No ligature or manual strangulation marks left behind.
I mentioned this to Elysha, and she pointed out that it would be very difficult to strangle me with my 19-inch neck. "I could never get my hands around it."
Nice to know she'd apparently considered the possibility.
Teachers and novelists on Facebook
The West Hartford, Connecticut School district is considering a new policy that would allow administrators to discipline teachers if they post photographs on websites like Facebook that reflect poorly on their in-school work.
"The policy would be aimed specifically at photos on Facebook that depict drunken behavior that could reflect poorly on the classroom," according the the report.
While I am not entirely against this policy, knowing full well that there are instances in which a careful...
July 1, 2010
Too many pins dropping in this world
When I hear someone say that they "could hear a pin drop" I think cliché.
When I read it in a book, I think very bad writing.
When I hear someone say that they "could literally hear a pin drop" I think cliché and stupid.
When I read it in a book, I think very bad editor.
In twenty-five years again
A very necessary addition to my well-received In twenty-five years… post:
In twenty-five years…
… people will wonder what hallucinogenic, mind-reducing drug was added to the water supply to cause hordes of otherwise normal people to spend their precious, never-to-be-recovered time on Facebook games like Farmville.
Resolution update: June 2010
In an effort to achieve my yearly goals, I post my monthly progress here.
Below are my sixteen New Year's resolutions and my progress thus far.
1. Lose seventeen more pounds, bringing my weight down to 185 pounds, which was my high school pole vaulting weight.
As of this morning, one more pound lost. Twelve to go.
2. Complete CHICKEN SHACK by April 15.
Finished writing the book on April 17.
Finished first round of revisions on May 2.
Completing what I hope will be final revisions...
June 30, 2010
Human targets
For the past month of so, I've been working on improving my golf game by hitting whiffle balls in the front yard. The goal has been to hit the ball as close as possible to my daughter without actually smacking her in the head or torso.
A raising of the stakes, if you will. Since golf tends to be a game of pressure-packed shots from difficult positions, I thought I'd create a little pressure of my own.
And so far, I've done very well, bouncing very few balls off her body and none off...
