Matthew Dicks's Blog, page 689

A disservice to womankind

This weekend, I was interviewing the longest married couples at a wedding, asking them if they had any advice for our bride and groom. One lady responded:

Do a lot of shopping. Buy lots of shoes, but keep them in the trunk of your car. Never bring more than one pair of shoes into the house at a time. Don't ever let him know how much you've actually bought.

At first I found this advice amusing, and she admittedly got quite the laugh from the guests. But reflecting back upon it now, I find...

I did. It didnt.

The most frequently perpetuated lie ever told:

Mothers Day kind of sucks. Huh?

The run-up to Father's Day is often dominated by gadget guides that contain gifts referred to as "toys for the man in your life."  Cameras, universal remotes, cell phones, game systems, flat-screen televisions, power tools, GPS units, and sports equipment are touted as the must-buy gifts for Dads everywhere.

The list of traditional Mother's Day gift ideas includes jewelry, perfume and flowers.  Perhaps a trip to a spa or an item of clothing on a rare occasion. 

How do women feel about...

Elysha rules

I was recently reminded of this exchange of words from a few years ago.  Elysha and I were walking around the reservoir with another couple when the wife asked Elysha how she might describe me. 

Elysha's response:

"He's a tough hunk of man meat."

Why?" I asked.  "How would you describe your husband (a good friend of mine)?"

"Um… He's funny and logical, I guess."

It's always nice when your wife steps up and hands you the victory.

Please explain Mr. Jobs

When entering a new phone number into a contact list on the iPhone, the user is given the choice of identifying the origin of the number as:

Work, home, mobile, main, fax, pager, other or iPhone.

I love my iPhone, and thanks to the excellent 3G service that we enjoy in Connecticut, I have very few problems with the device.  But this is one. 

Simply put, it's obnoxious and ridiculous for Apple to make iPhone an option in the contact list. 

While I understand the value of...

Golf with an added bonus

After saying goodbye to my students this afternoon, I spent the rest of the afternoon playing golf with a good friend named Phil. 

I managed to beat him (again), but this time only by a single stroke, and only after having to call a PGA professional at another golf course in order to get a ruling on "casual water."  When there is unintended standing water on a golf course, the player is permitted a free drop.  My ball plugged in a wet, muddy rut on the fairway, the result of an...

Bittersweet summer vacation

One of my students told me that in an effort to try something new, she drank a glass of milk followed by half a glass of chocolate syrup.  "Then I jumped up and down to mix it all in my belly to make chocolate milk."

Then she paused for a moment, smiled, and said, "It was awful.  I almost threw up."

Today was the last day of school, and though I'm looking forward to a summer vacation filled by family time, golf, a book release, and the writing of my fourth novel, I'll miss the daily joy...

Girl Scout reboot required

After finishing my second successful term as President of the United States, I intend on taking over the Girl Scouts and turning that waste-of-time organization into something that can truly benefit its female membership.

As a member of the Boy Scouts, I learned valuable skills that I continue to use to this day. With extensive training in first aid, I was able save the life of a friend at the age of seventeen when emergency first aid was needed. Thanks to wilderness survival training, I...

Delicious and tragic

From the ages of 18-21 I lived with my friend and future DJ partner, Bengi, in an apartment in Attleboro,Massachusetts that we affectionately called The Heavy Metal Playhouse.  While Bengi attended Bryant College, I did everything a college student typically does except going to class.  It made for a wonderful three years but not surprisingly ended with Bengi moving to Connecticut with a job offer at Travelers and me living in my car and then with a family of Jehovah Witnesses in a room off...

Working hard for the money

Thought this might be fun.

Here's an updated list of all the jobs that I've held in my life, in chronological order.

1. Farm laborer, Blackstone, MA: When I was 12-years old, I began working for Jesse Deacon, an aging farmer in need of some help. Every Saturday, I would spend 4-6 hours loading hay onto trailers, mucking stalls, repairing fence lines, and other typical farm chores. I earned $50 a day for the work and was happy to get it.

2. McDonald's restaurants, Milford, Norwood...