Matthew Dicks's Blog, page 687

A sickness perhaps, but not a hobby

I was recently speaking to a friend about hobbies, and she claimed that her hobby was shopping.  When I expressed my doubts that shopping is a legitimate hobby, she attempted to equate it to poker or golf or reading (three of my hobbies), claiming that the pleasure she takes from shopping is no different than the joy that I feel after finishing a good book or making a long putt or winning a hand of poker by means of a well-timed bluff.

I asked my friend if she would have as much fun if she...

In twenty-five years

… we will wonder why the hell everyone in the world was obsessed with vampires.

… we will fail to understand why people opted to eat raw fish when perfectly good cooked fish was readily available.

… we will be stunned, like my generation was about cigarettes, that people didn't simply assume that the use of a radioactive cell phones would eventually cause cancer.

… we will consider it bizarre and archaic that marriage was not available to all couples regardless of their sex.

… we will...

Nursery rhymes, my style

Amongst my thousands of other projects, I've been working on a book of inappropriate nursery rhymes, based upon this little ditty that I came up with a couple years ago.

Mary had a little lamb

Its fleece was white as snow

And everywhere that Mary went

The lamb was sure to go…

Doodie

What do you think?

Can you imagine it in picture book form, with the page break falling before the last line?  With the right illustrator, I think it could be gold!

I've got others, but I'm not ready to...

Melting ice or a bullet in the head?

There's been much discussion over the potential loss of the polar bears as a result of the recent melting of polar ice. Many environmentalists have adopted the polar bear as their symbol of the dangers of global warming.

While I have also grown concerned over the environment in recent years and don't want to see the polar bear disappear from this planet, I think that it might be prudent to revise the Oslo Agreement, which permits the hunting of this supposedly endangered species. The treaty...

I will pledge whatever my teacher says

I'm just about finished reading THE BOOK THIEF, which provides a very interesting view of Nazi Germany from the perspective of a child.  Among other things, the book portrays a country that is fanatic in assuring its citizens support the German ideals and purpose at all times.  Children are indoctrinated into these beliefs through rituals and customs, an active re-packaging of a shared history, and through organizations like The Hitler Youth.  From all accounts, it was a highly effective...

Too close for comfort

From time to time my in-laws have debated moving from their sizable home in the Berkshires into a 350 square foot, single room apartment that they own in Manhattan.  

I tried to convince them to purchase the small house next door to us when it was for sale about a year ago, but they thought I was crazy.  Some of my friends and family agreed, unable to imagine living next door to in-laws regardless of the positivity of our relationship, but I had a series of flag-based signals ready to keep...

The choice is made!

After publicly flogging my fellow book club member (her words) and having another member propose that we may need to consider group therapy, a choice was finally made:

BOTH WAYS IS THE ONLY WAY I WANT IT by Maile Meloy, a short story collection published last year but just came out in paperback.

I chose a collection of Nicholson Baker essays a year ago but this is the first short story collection ever chosen.  I'm thrilled.  Ever since college, I've always loved short stories. 

And she's...

Childhood boogie man returns

When I was a kid, our town and the surrounding communities were terrorized by the Blackstone Valley sniper. For a period of about two years, someone was firing a rifle into picture windows at the silhouettes standing behind the curtains. For a while, I remember being forced to leave the downstairs€' lights turned off by my parents in fear that we may present a target for the lunatic.

In my childhood memory, the sniper just went away, but after a horrific nightmare last night that...

DJ blunders and tribulations

Just as we were leaving to yesterday's wedding, more than an hour away from home, my DJ partner, Bengi, noticed that the a tire on the truck was flat.  Not trusting the spare, we got creative and managed to load all of our equipment into my Subaru Outback.  It was crowded and a little precarious, but we managed.

This is my biggest fear when it comes to working as a DJ: Failing to arrive at a wedding on-time because of car trouble.  And it's almost happened once before.  Had we not noticed...

Spoiled

I know it's not even July, but football season is nearly upon us and I couldn't be happier.  In just a couple short months, my beloved Patriots will begin playing again, and for the first time in nearly twenty years, I will have season tickets to the games.

I can't tell you how much I love attending Patriots' games.  The two-hour drive, the impossible traffic, the tailgating, the food, the bitter cold weather, the screaming fans… I love every part of it. 

Two years ago, during the...