Matthew Dicks's Blog, page 690
June 14, 2010
Ice the bunny
My wife can't throw away stuffed animals, even if she despises the furry, inanimate objects.
Tonight she attempted to throw away a worn-out, bedraggled, hand-me-down stuffed bunny, but try as she might, she couldn't bring herself to toss it into the trash.
"I can't do it," she said. "You could do it for me, but only if I don't know about it. So don't tell me if you're going to do it. And if I see it in the trash, I'll have to take it out So don't let me see it either."
I feel like...
Namesake
In an effort to convince a former student to name her new dog after me, I told her this amusing but true story.
About six years ago Bengi and I worked a wedding for a couple who we liked very much. Nice people and easy to please. A few months later we saw this same couple at their friend's wedding, where we were also performing. As a DJ, it's always nice to see former clients and catch up on their lives, and this couple's particular bit of news was most astonishing.
Upon returning from...
Read, damn it
From the Washington Post piece entitled Get a Good Read on the Market: Pick Up a Book:
As Berkshire Hathaway vice chairman Charlie Munger has said in assessing the success of his sidekick, Warren Buffett: "If you want to be an outlier in achievement, just sit on your ass and read most of your life."
Yes.
Turkey baster
I've often been advised to learn something new everyday. And I try.
Today's bit of knowledge was especially interesting.
I learned that artificial insemination via an anonymous sperm donor can be done from the confines of one's own home, with the use of a turkey-baster in the words of one doctor.
More on this when I have more facts, but apparently the process involves a fairly large containment chamber, an ample supply of liquid nitrogen, a hot plate and a Sears catalog of genetic...
June 13, 2010
ScissorS
From The Washington Post's story entitled Fun Facts About Our English Language:
Are there any words that exist only as a plural?
There are quite a few, including scissors, binoculars and tongs.
I mention this because Elysha only refers to scissors as a scissor.
This was fine pre-Clara, but now that we have a little one listening to our every word, I feel that our obligation for proper grammar has increased considerably. I can only hope that she take this into account and modifies her...
Stepping back into history
I spent the afternoon visiting my childhood home in Blackstone, Massachusetts, a house that I lived in from the ages of three to seventeen before my evil step-father stopped paying the mortgage, forgot to tell my mother and eventually left her. Less than a year later, the bank foreclosed on the house, leaving my mother and sister destitute and homeless. I hadn't been back to the place in more than twenty years, so I was looking forward to seeing the home of so many of my childhood...
June 12, 2010
Jesus versus the aliens
I've been thinking a lot about Heaven's Gate. Remember the cult? They were the people who believed that an alien spacecraft was following behind the Hale-Bopp comet, and that in order to catch a ride on board, they would need to shed their humanly containers. Thirty-nine members of Heaven's Gate committed suicide in order to do this in 1997. I've been studying their history and have found it to be utterly fascinating.
At the time of the mass suicide, Americans were horrified at the scope of...
Beware of what?
What does the homeowner want me to believe?
Beware of God, because horrible crimes and atrocities are committed in his name (not to mention a number of atrocities committed by the Big Guy himself, if you are to believe the Bible, Torah, or Koran)
Or…
Beware of God, because if you fail to keep the Sabbath (one of his Ten Commandments), you will burn in Hell for eternity?
I find either option very disconcerting.
June 11, 2010
Would I even be hungry?
This list of final meal requests from death row inmates fascinates me. Each represents the last request from a dying man.
Like Gerald Mitchell:
One bag of Jolly Ranchers.
And how about Miguel Richardson:
Chocolate birthday cake with "2/23/90" written on top, seven pink candles, one coconut, kiwi fruit juice, pineapple juice, one mango, grapes, lettuce, cottage cheese, peaches, one banana, one delicious apple, chef salad without meat and with thousand island dressing, fruit salad...
Do I have to be a Frenchy?
New Rule: When you don't know something, there is no need to announce your ignorance to the world, because it might just be something that everyone else knows, making you look even stupider than you probably are.
Case in point: I was grabbing dinner in Sbarro last week. I was standing in line behind a woman and her two female friends. We were all examining the menu posted above the counter.
Sbarro's menu divides its food choices into combination meals, but you can also order each item...
