Joyce E. Davis's Blog, page 4

Why is it okay to blame and harass sexual assault victims?

I am so sick of sexual assault victims being blamed for being attacked. Who are these people? I'm livid. This is such a parenting issue about preventative measures, teaching your children (boys and girls, from a very early age) about appropriate behavior in interpersonal relationships and on social media, and what to do if you see it or encounter it. This seems so freaking common sense. 



Why is it okay to violate somebody? Anybody? Ever? And why would you ever blame those violated for the attack or for speaking up and reporting it when it happens? There is just no empathy or understanding, and totally misplaced priorities. Some conversations are NOT being had. I'm disturbed, sad, and pissed.



I posted this on Facebook, but wanted to hear your comments and feedback in this space. Thanks for your thoughts.



Background and more on Steubenville rape case via NPR.

My Daughter Surrounded by the Beauty of Black Women's Brilliance

When I took this photo February 21, 2013, I didn't really realize its significance. As a matter of fact I was working in my communications capacity at Spelman College, trying to capture what I could tell was an important moment between academic and activist-oriented Black women. And my daughter, cute as she is, just eased her way into the picture. I even shooed her away.





But after a powerful evening of commentary and more from author, professor and MSNBC host Melissa Harris Perry - through which my first grader mostly slept - this photo haunted me so that I could not go back to sleep after waking at 4:30 the next morning.



All I kept thinking was: look at this child - my child - who barely has an inkling of the brilliance surrounding her. She just wanted to be in the photo. And here she is in the midst of what I saw as a moment of pride and engagement between the three Black women on the left who laid the foundation for the Black woman on the right.



From left to right: Dr. Cynthia Neal Spence is an associate professor of sociology with interests in criminology, law and violence against women. She also serves in a leadership role of Spelman's Social Justice Fellows Program; Dr. Beverly Daniel Tatum is president of Spelman and author of numerous books including "Can We Talk About Race? And Other Conversations in an Era of School Resegregation;" and Dr. Beverly Guy-Sheftall is the founding director of Spelman's Women's Research and Resource Center and an adjunct professor at Emory's Institute for Women's Studies. She is the author of a number of texts about African American and women's studies, including the first anthology of Black women's literature, "Sturdy Black Bridges: Visions of Black Women in Literature."







And then there is Melissa Harris Perry, who I'd been following since she was writing at her Kitchen Table blog and who I now watch most weekend mornings on her self-titled show on MSNBC. I don't always agree with her or even have an interest in every topic she addresses. But I enjoy her perspective and the disparate voices she regularly brings to the table. Plus I'm of a generation that remembers when images like hers - braids and all - were so very rare in the role of moderator and driver of important conversations.



There were so many interesting moments in her visit to Spelman, book-ended by Black History Month and Women's History Month. You can see some in the tweets I and others posted to Twitter during the event: "Melissa Harris Perry on Fire at Spelman College!"







Harris was much more forthright and fearless in her analysis of shame stereotypes, and Black women in America, the topics she addresses in her book, "Sister Citizen." There were no national cameras there to temper her sharp envelope-pushing wit. Listening to her I felt like I did when studying Paula Giddings' "When and Where I Enter: The Impact on Black Women on Race and Sex in America" as a student at Howard University. Or when Joan Morgan's "When Chickenheads Come Home to Roost" flipped my consciousness upside down in the nineties. I appreciate Harris Perry for her passion in her path - and I learn a lot from her, even when she rubs me the wrong way.



And I was so happy that my daughter was able to attend - even on a school night (this was educational, too) and that my friend could finagle a book signing for me when it was obvious that it was time for my daughter to go home.







I hope you'll have some special moments this Women's History Month. Keep Enjoyceinglife!

Joyce the Art Critic? Spelman College's Museum Wants Your Reflections on Their Collection

María Magdalena Campos-Pons discussing "Dreaming of An Island" 



I had the most amazing experience today. I got a call from Anne Collins Smith, curator of  collections for the Spelman College Museum of Fine Art, the only museum in the United States dedicated to visual art made by and about women of the African Diaspora. Anne was reminding me of my interest in participating in "Multiple Choice: Perspectives on the Spelman College Collection," the museum's upcoming community-curated exhibition of their permanent collection.



Basically I will be able to provide my reflections on a piece of art that touches me - and my commentary will be part of this exhibit of works by luminaries like Faith Ringgold, Jacob Lawrence, Elizabeth Catlett, Maria Magdalena Campos-Pons and Hale Woodruff. Being shown breathtaking art in a private tour today and having Anne tell me such interesting stories behind the creation of some of the works and how they became part of the Museum's collection was more than I'd expected. As a storyteller, I was moved to awe.



When you work someplace where you encounter such greatness, important history, and inspiration on a regular basis, you can - unbelievably to some - take it for granted. You can forget what is right outside your office, a few steps away from your desk. The stories I'm privy to at Spelman - from the driven students to the renowned guests and pioneering elders - are without a doubt the best benefit of my work here. I'm so glad Anne called to remind me because participating in this exhibition is a soul-feeding opportunity I did not want to miss.



I won't divulge to you which piece of art was my match to provide reflections. That will definitely be in a later blog post. But I did want to encourage you - anyone reading Enjoyceinglife - that you, too, can participate in this amazing endeavor. You don't have to be in Atlanta. The museum is inviting students, faculty, staff, friends of the museum, alumnae, and anyone who may be interested to participate. But time is running short. If you're interested please contact Anne Collins Smith, at 404-270-5604 or annesmith@spelman.edu.






LaTanya Richardson Jackson in August's Wilson's "Jo Turner's Come and Gone."


On another Spelman note, I had a fantastic conversation yesterday with Spelman alumna LaTanya Richardson Jackson, a veteran of the stage and screen who will be directing August Wilson's "Two Trains Running" via Kenny Leon's True Colors Theatre Company at the Southwest Arts Center in Atlanta, Feb. 12 - Mar. 10. Our discussion was so entertaining. I learned a great deal about her path to theatrical success. And we talked about everything from her time on Spelman's stage and her Broadway debut - ironically in August Wilson's "Jo Turner's Come and Gone" - to her passionate thoughts on her husband Samuel Jackson's role in "Django Unchained." I was not ready for her fire. But I was energized afterwards. Stay tuned for more about our conversation in an upcoming issue of Inside Spelman, the digital publication I edit for the college.



Keep Enjoyceinglife! It's grand.

VIDEO: Iyanla Vanzant Tells Me How Black Women Can "Fix" Their Lives

Iyanla Vanzant has a thoughtful demeanor when she speaks, even though there is not much hesitation when you ask her a question. The host of "Iyanla: Fix My Life" on Oprah Winfrey's OWN network had a lot to say when I recently interviewed her at Spelman College [VIDEO]. She shared her thoughts on depression, how women can use technology to "fix" their lives, and how young black women can maintain their sense of self in a world that often seems bent on objectifying them. I enjoyed our enlightening conversation, and felt I gained more insight into her philosophy on "fixing" people's lives. 



Keep on Enjoyceinglife!

Wordless Wednesday: Elated! Four More Years!!!

The Best Tweets: 2nd Presidential Debate 2012

I love this photo from last night's second presidential debate. It is such a telling picture. Here are some tweets that made me laugh, scream, stand up on my sofa, and literally throw stuff at my computer. It was a riotous evening - and the best presidential debate I've ever seen. These tweets are a snapshot of the Storify I created from debate, which includes video clips of my favorite parts and some great photos. Enjoy! 








"I don't look at my pension. It's not as big as yours." POTUS. #debates







First time Romney didn't bully Candi: When #Obama told #Romney how he was diff than #Bush. Romney had not. one. thing. to. say. #debates








Equal pay for women is the single most powerful economic stimulus we could institute.- Gloria Steinem ow.ly/exd6H #FB #election2012









Cool infographic from @USAToday: We asked what you thought of the #debateinoneword and here are your responses: pic.twitter.com/seMhUi1W








Romney and Obama are circling each other onstage, looking like they're ready either for a fight or a debate dance-off. #debates









RT @MissKristilyn: "You don't turn national security into a political issue, certainly not right when it's happening." - Pres. Obama #fb






Libya: Obama To Romney On Rose Garden Remarks:  'Get The Transcript'













#Crowley, #Obama & a #transcript having a fact-checking#Libya smackdown party! RT @harryallen: What was the best moment of the #debate?











#Obama couldn't have planned this better if he tried. #Romney saying he cares abt 100% of ppl opened door 4 Obama 2 close w 47%. #debates










Totally thinking the same thing! U KNOW they had 'the talk.' RT @VidaLov: Aw Michelle restored her man! Yes First Lady! #TeamBarack #debates











From me, a #singlemom: I'm freaking offended that Romney's answer to assault weapons is for me to get married! #RUCrazy or #DoUThinkImCrazy







Apparently, my being single is getting people shot. Someone get me a date before another life is lost.#debates












Yes! Saved from #AssaultWeapons! RT @jesseltaylor I remember when I put a ring on my bride's finger & she stopped doing drive-bys. #debates









More tweets, photos and videos in my Storify . Keep on Enjoyceinglife! JD

Living Single With Faith, Hope & Purpose - Ebony Magazine

If you're free on Wednesday, Sept. 26, at 8 pm, please join @EbonyMag and me (@Enjoyceinglife) on Twitter for a chat based on "Single Ladies," my article about the state of dating and relationships in the October issue of Ebony Magazine. 





Having a real conversation about the state of dating and relationships with six single African American women in Atlanta was not at all what I expected. While I never thought the discussion I was moderating for Ebony Magazine would be a male-bashing session, I did not expect it to be as empowering for me as it was.



I was dreading bringing up the unmarried statistics or unearthing the media's favorite dead horse: "Why can't black women find good black men?" But the ladies even had interesting perspectives on those tired aspects of the reality of their lives that, as a thorough journalist, I had to address. What was most encouraging, especially because I'm single, too, is the positive outlook that all of the women - ages 27 to 43 - had about their prospects for a satisfying relationship in their future.







Outside of my cousin Krystal Gambrell, and a new friend I met that evening, Alisa Benjamin, I'd known all of the women a year or so mostly through our professional relationships. But as sisters sometimes do, we had a little wine, cheese, fruit and desert in the comfort of my parents' home, and fell into an easy conversation about what can be a hard and painful topic. Their clear-eyed comments were refreshing. Some of my favorites had to do with dating as a single parent, which speaks to my experience:



"It's my job to make sure my son respects me and doesn't see different men in an out of the house. With most guys, it increases their respect for me because I guess it shows that I have values and standards." - Kia Smith



"Someone has more of an advantage when he has children, and I can really hone in on what type of father he is. Are you the father who sees his child once a month and that's OK with you? That's not a good sign that you want to be there for my children." - Tracy Nicole







We did talk about being approached by married men, online dating, the endless pressure to get married, and, of course, how quickly sex comes into play. But the most moving part of the discussion came when the ladies shared the importance of faith, hope and purpose:



"[When I was in my 20s] I thought that walking down the aisle, having a ring and a baby would complete me....But I hadn't found my purpose...Now that I am focused, I can't keep the guys away. When guys see you are a woman who is focused and driven, you don't have to worry about the numbers." - Erin Harper



"When I say I have hope, it's because of [my previous marriage]. I have hope that if [my first husband] found me, then somebody else is going to find me. I want to be open to the same type of integrity that he had and the trust that I had in him and not be guarded because of all the stuff that we do see. I know it's real, but that relationship was real, too." -  Cecilia Bailey







So if you see Gabrielle Union grinning at you from the newsstand over the next few weeks, check out my piece in the October issue of Ebony. Can't wait? Here's a pretty good excerpt. There's also a roundtable of single black men in Washington, D.C., in the same issue that is certainly eyebrow-raising. I'd love to hear your thoughts about their perspectives on dating and relationships as well.



Hope to see you on Twitter Wednesday, Sept. 28, at 8 pm, for @EbonyMag 's Twitter chat about dating and relationships. I'll be tweeting from @Enjoyceinglife . I can't wait to hear your feedback!







Keep on Enjoyceinglife!

Love Inspired: Angela Davis & Toni Morrison

When I posted this photo of legends Angela Davis and Toni Morrison to my Facebook page this morning a friend made my heart melt with this comment:



My first treasured gift from [my husband] before we married was a first British edition of Davis' autobiography, which was nurtured and edited by Morrison. (that's when I knew this guy really gets me!)



Who doesn't want a love connection like that!?!? Okay well maybe shared respect and admiration for literature, creativity and activism isn't on everybody's potential partner list, but that sure speaks to me - loudly. 



When I first saw this photo, all I could wonder was, what must they be talking about? Political prisoners? Hair? Effective writing? I'd have trailed them for miles just to eavesdrop. 



Well now I get to discuss the power of Davis' years of activism, advocacy and academic discourse on women's rights, prison abolition, feminism and race. And you can, too! Please join me tomorrow, Wed, 9/12, noon-1pm on Twitter for a chat about Davis' impact on politics and justice. To participate or even just view, please follow @SpelmanCollege or @enjoyceinglife and use hashtag #InsideSpelman. 













If you're in Atlanta, Davis will be at Spelman College [for free] on Mon., 9/17, to discuss women, voting and citizenship. Timely, huh? Details in the September issue of Inside Spelman. 




Davis and superbad political science professor and MSNBC host Melissa Harris-Perry (coming in spring 2013) are guest lecturers at Spelman's inaugural Ida B. Wells-Barnett Lecture Series, which addresses contemporary issues impacting women. Named after the most inspiring journalist EVER and featuring powerful women of change, I just have to ask, does it get any better than this? I'm thoroughly amped!




Keep on Enjoyceinglife!

Gabrielle Douglas: Interviewing the Champ & Her Mother!

When I got the email asking me if I wanted to interview Olympian Gabrielle Douglas and her mother Natalie Hawkins for the cover of Jet magazine , I was beside myself. I had watched this young woman, this fierce athlete, inspire awe in the world throughout the London Games. And I'd tuned into the media and social media insanity - including my own - that erupted around her instant fame. I was more than amped. I was ready to have some good conversation with these women who at their core are about family and excellence.











They were ready for me, too. I asked the hard questions and they gave honest answers. I ended our interview feeling respect and admiration not just for what the 16-year-old had accomplished, but for the grace in which she handled herself under some unfathomable pressure and sometimes ugly spotlight. And as a mother, I was motivated by the warrior nature and ferocious love of her mother. 








I'd never written a cover story for Jet before and for Gabrielle Douglas to be my first was an awesome honor. I feel truly blessed to be a small part of history recording her record-breaking feats in a periodical that for more than 60 years has been one of the few committed to uplifting the triumphs of people of African descent. 









The September 3, 2012 issue of Jet will be on the newsstands for one more week. I'd love for you to pick it up and support Jet, Gabrielle and me! Please check out the article [ sneak peak here ] and let me know what you think. And keep Enjoyceinglife. It's a wonderful world out there!

Great Parenting Moment: Michelle Obama on President Obama's Smoking Challenge

Fantastic parenting conversation that Michelle Obama had with iVillage about how she and President Barack Obama talked to their children about the challenge of quitting smoking. There was serious insight into the care and strategy of their parenting. I'm so in love with how they honor their daughters' intelligence and curiosity. She's so at ease discussing the honesty they use as a foundation to their parenting - when Lord knows raising up girl children - any children - takes God, plus all the will and patience you can muster. This interview helped me as I navigate the wild world that I send my baby out into everyday. Thanks First Lady!