Joyce E. Davis's Blog, page 9

A Single Mom Meltdown at Disney Dreamers Academy

My fabulous friend, journalist Kimberly Allers of the inspiring Mocha Manual: A Black Moms Guide to Life, recently had a single mom meltdown at the Disney Dreamers Academy. It's a situation that I know a lot of single parents have experienced. In a nutshell, what do you do when your childcare situation falls through and you're out of town?

Check out her heart wrenching post. I left a comment about my situation and some suggestions for solutions. But those work for me, everybody's situation is different, and I've certainly had my own single parent challenges. We'd both love to hear your thoughts.

Parenting is hard. Support is valued. Keep living, loving and Enjoyceinglife.

Ten Years, Ten Doctors & a Two-Pound Fibroid: Conya Doss

When soul singer Conya Doss agreed to open up to me about her harrowing experience with uterine fibroids for Heart & Soul magazine, I had no idea we'd talk for more than an hour.

Conya's battle with the tumors and the impact they've had on her life is nothing short of remarkable. According to one study, 50% of women suffer with these growths, which develop based on estrogen production from the smooth muscle layer of the uterus.

The fact that fibroids are two to three times more likely to occur in Black women than in other American women is why I am so appreciative of having the opportunity to help Conya share her experience and her sage advice. Because I have fibroids as well - thank God they've remained tiny - I was moved by her story and I hope you will be, too.

Singer Conya Doss Opens Up On Her Battle with FibroidsSoul singer Conya Doss caught our attention as a former teacher who started her own music label to share her feel-good music with the world. Now she opens up about her battle with fibroids that followed her along the way.
By Conya Doss as told to Joyce E. Davis

About 10 years ago I went in for my normal check up and the nurse practitioner said too casually, "Oh, you have fibroids," and that was all. I had an ultrasound and proceeded to see 10 doctors over the next decade.

The first doctor measured the fibroids at maybe an inch and half and told me, "Don't worry. They're really small, but later down the line you'll be looking at a hysterectomy." He basically said, "If they don't bother you, don't bother them."

I went to another doctor because I was concerned, but she didn't even measure the fibroids. As I started talking to women about fibroids, I found out that basically every African American woman I know has had them and out of all of us I'm the only one who hasn't had a hysterectomy.

Read about the rest of Conya Doss' experience with uterine fibroids at Heart&SoulMag.com.

Conya Is Fierce

Through Conya's decade-long ordeal with fibroids she was able to create some amazing music as well, including Blue Transition, her latest album, which features the beautiful All In You [Video].



And this Conya classic is my jam! What I'd Do [Video]



Not up on this soulful sister? Check out this cool Conya Doss YouTube playlist and keep on Enjoyceinglife!

Words of Wisdom from Alvin Ailey's Judith Jamison

My history with Judith Jamison is long. Before I reached double digits, I'd traveled with a dance troupe from Atlanta to New York, where I danced at the Alvin Ailey studio. When I moved to New York to work at Fortune magazine after graduating from college, I was living in the NYU dorms before I got an apartment. Grocery shopping in my neighborhood, I ran into the striking Jamison in the produce section. Needless to say I nearly accosted her with my ardent admiration. And, of course, I've seen the company perform under her leadership numerous times.

So I had to be front and center - well, third row - when she came to Spelman College today.

I just left that wonderful campus chat with Jamison, who is in her last six months as the artistic director of the Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater. She shared some interesting experiences and wonderful wisdom to a packed house in her conversation with Spelman President Beverly Daniel Tatum and Spelman student Ashley Grisham. Below are a few of the pearls she blessed us with. Love creativity!


"To change the world, start with yourself. See yourself in others and don't negate anyone."


"Be in the moment but be forward thinking in the moment. Be ready for that precipice."


"Dance came from the people and it needs to be delivered back to the people." - Judith Jamison quoting Alvin Ailey on being involved in the communities in which they dance. She shared that Alvin Ailey Extension, a program of dance and fitness classes designed for the general public that teaches everything from Broadway theater dance to Samba and Hip Hop, started out with 500 students six years ago and now tops 49,000. Now that is commitment to community!

Enjoy videos of the Alvin Ailey Tribute to Judith Jamison



Check out this excerpt of Reminiscin,' a dance Jamison choreographed that features music from legendary female jazz singers Sarah Vaughan, Ella Fitzgerald, Nina Simone, Roberta Flack, Regina Carter and Diana Krall.

Judith Jamison is a beacon of creativity. A light that will shine forever because she thrives on positivity.

My desire is to do the same. Keep on Enjoyceinglife!

Get Your HIV Test at the Dentist?

Did you know that you can get an HIV test in your dentist's office? Well you can, according to celebrity dentist, Dr. Catrise Austin, who was gracious enough to let me interview her on Super Bowl Sunday, minutes after the Green Bay Packers won. Below is an excerpt from the piece I wrote on Heart & Soul Magazine's website, which launched its AIDS page today - National Black HIV/AIDS Awareness Day. Do you know your status?

New HIV Testing Location? The Dentist's OfficeThe next time you visit your dentist, you may want to request a rapid oral HIV test. If your dentist is Catrise Austin, D.D.S., you won't even have to ask because her office offers the test to each of their patients at the beginning of their biannual hygiene appointments.

Since the results of the swab take only 20 minutes, the patients leave with their results the same day. A Crest brand ambassador whose clients include Toni Braxton, Wendy Williams and Common, Dr. Austin has the first private dental practice in the nation to get certified and trained to offer the OraQuick ADVANCE® Rapid HIV test.

Heart & Soul: How common is it to find the HIV infection in an oral cavity?
Dr. Austin: From what I know, at least 90 percent of people living with HIV will develop symptoms like yeast in the mouth, canker sores and a thin red band around the gum line. The oral cavity is one of the first places where signs and symptoms of HIV will show up. So if I'm checking for cavities, gum disease and oral cancer, why wouldn't I check for HIV, especially when the test is just a swab of the mouth, which is 99.4 percent accurate?

Read more at Heart & Soul.

Buy a Book & a Child Gets One for Free

There is something about getting lost in the characters and the story of a good book that gives me a feeling like no other. I love movies. There are some television shows that make me howl with laughter. I've cried during plays and concerts. But nothing tops curling up with a good book and letting the writing and my imagination take me to a place where my soul is stimulated and satisfied.

This love of literature is why I've created a life for myself around reading and writing and why I am more than excited about the powerful initiative that my friends, the incredible writing pair Nick Chiles and Denene Millner, have founded. They've launched North Paran, a new online book store featuring books for, by and about people of color, which will provide a free book to a child in need for every book that is bought.

I think I need to state that again. When you buy a book from North Paran, a child in need somewhere in the world will receive a book as well. Now how in the WORLD can you beat that deal!?!? It's an all-good purchase. Everybody wins! Your family gets new books and you get to gift others with literature. Yep, the reader and writer in me are both elated.

To jump start their initiative, North Paran is in a campaign to give 100,000 books away to children during Black History Month. Check out the video where Nick, Denene and their lovely daughters share their passion around the importance of reading and why they joined forces with North Paran. I guarantee you will want to purchase some books - and more important, give books - right away.



And don't worry about finding something to read on North Paran. They've got thousands of books. From works for children to art, romance, science fiction, history, classics, biographies and entertainment, you'll surely find many options to fit your tastes. Or step outside the box and try something new. Need a suggestion? I'd like to humbly put forth my own novel for teens, Can't Stop The Shine, which has just gone into its second printing! Yea!


Whether you purchase my book or not, I hope that you visit North Paran and spread the word via Twitter, Facebook, blogging and email about their commitment to uplifting works by writers of color. Sign up for their electronic newsletter, check out their blog and expert book recommendations, and most of all help children who may not have access to books be able to enjoy the amazing experience of reading!

Back on the Dating Scene-Across the Seas?

As I consider jumping back into dating, I found this recent post about finding love internationally on Heart and Soul's website very interesting. When I was going through an especially long dating drought right after 9/11, I had a romanticized vision of getting out of my own backyard and experiencing mutual swooning with a great guy who'd whisper I was his soul mate in some throaty passionate language.

Stereotyping aside, over the years I've met and dated several attractively complex and unique men originally from other countries. It hasn't worked out with any of them obviously because I am still single. And it didn't work out with any of the Americans I've dated either - obviously because I am still single.

I think I'd consider dating internationally if I wasn't the mother of a young child. I can't imagine uprooting our lives and sacrificing the village it takes to raise her. But I'm not ruling it out, because, hey, you never know. I do think it would be complicated at this stage in my life, but obviously based on this article dating abroad is working for some.

Single ladies, would you consider dating a man in another country? Single moms, have you dated a man overseas? How did you do it? I'd like to know in case I start Internet dating and my soul mate ends up being from Johannesburg.

Jesus Stalks: Witty Writing on the Edge

I don't know Dionne Irving. I've never met her or read any of her writing before. But today I read her "Jesus Stalks" piece, which won third place in Creative Loafing's 10th Annual Fiction Contest, and I was moved.

The reader in me laughed out loud - several times. The writer in me appreciated the well-crafted story. And the Christian in me was uncomfortable.

I don't necessarily agree with the basis of her story, that Jesus is an immature, tit for tat, vengeful brat. But I love inventive, imaginative and fearless writing.

I guess it's like watching Freddy Kruger or vampire movies or reading "'Twas the Night Before Christmas." I don't believe in it, but it's really entertaining.

And it seems Irving is working hard on perfecting her craft. A Google search revealed that she is the 2009 winner of the Hurston/Wright Award for College Writers. Her work has appeared in the Crab Orchard Review, Big Muddy and Carve Magazine. And she is currently earning her doctorate in creative writing at Georgia State University.

But what's most impressive to me is her story. It was great. I couldn't put it down. Even the fact that I was weirded out by her humanization of Jesus couldn't stop me from finishing the piece. I don't know what Irving's religious leanings are, but I'm curious as heck. What I do know is that, in my humble opinion, she deserves this recognition.

And I hope she writes a book. Because I'll read it.

Bravo to Creative Loafing for their continued support of creativity! If I didn't have to work late again, I would definitely be checking out their Fiction Contest Party tonight, to hear the winners read their works.

Boo! that I can't go, but yea! that I can read the rest of the entries.

Check out an excerpt of "Jesus Stalks" below. Here's to fearless writing in 2011! Start typing folks...

"Jesus Stalks" by Dionne Irving

Jesus won't stop calling me. I block his number on the caller ID, but he gets a new unlisted number and the calls pick up. He leaves long messages on the answering machine and when it cuts out he calls back and keeps talking. I don't even listen to the messages anymore. They all start the same: "Alia, it's me ... Jesus."

That's usually when I hang up, because I know from there it will be a long rant about how much he wants me back, how much he loves me, how he'll forgive me for everything. Like most ex-boyfriends, Jesus acts as though I'm the one who needs to be forgiven.

When I block his number for a second time he starts calling my roommate. I come home from work late one Friday night and she's sitting in the living room, her legs draped over the arms of the sofa, watching TV.

"Jesus called for you," she says.

"You know," she says swinging her feet down to the ground. "Jesus really loves you. You should return his phone calls."

"He's OK," I say, not making eye contact. "But things are kind of over between us."

"I'd sure be glad to meet a guy like Jesus," she says, looking off into space. "All the guys I meet lately are such jerks."

Here's the thing about Jesus. Everyone loves him. They think he is this great guy, that he's sweet and caring and all about helping other people out. And it's true. Kind of. The thing is, Jesus only does nice things so that people can tell him what a great guy he is. He tries to take credit for everything. A beautiful sunset, a particularly charming infant, a wonderfully delicious meal, there Jesus would be, trying to steal someone else's thunder. Many a night did I have to listen about how praise was heaped on everyone but Jesus. If someone thanked Billy for a especially thoughtful gift, if someone praised Ezra's good taste or made a comment about an attractive dress Katie was wearing, by midnight there would be Jesus pacing around my living room trying to figure out why no one had thanked him.

Eventually he'd wear himself out with anger. He'd take off his Birkenstocks and curl up in the fetal position on my living room floor. A typical Jesus temper tantrum. I'd leave him there like that and turn off all the lights and go to bed.

In the morning, he'd be fine again and he wouldn't bring it up. But eventually I learned that whoever had offered up the praise that particular evening now had a particularly nasty boil, or their car wouldn't start, or had run out of milk as soon as they'd poured themselves a nice big bowl of cereal.

Read the rest...

Zumba & Dance New Year Workout 2011!

I started off 2011 with this Zumba & Dance New Year Workout video playlist I created on YouTube. If you need some fitness inspiration that is really fun, this is it. So get moving!

Grandmothers Rule: 80s Christmas Gift Survives for My Millennial Girl

My daughter at 2, Black Barbie, my mom & me (circa 1973).

My mother saved this Black Barbie styling head from 1983, so my daughter is getting it for Christmas. Grandmothers rule! Can I get an Amen?!?!

BEWARE: Office Holiday Parties Gone Awry...

If you can persevere through these hilarious memos about an evolving office holiday party, you will get the laugh of your day! I promise. As we kick off this festive season, keep it light and stress free by knowing what's important - being thankful and sharing love. Stay safe out there!




Subject: Christmas Party
Company Memo

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 1, 2009
RE: Gala Christmas Party

I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place
on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the
Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have
a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing along. And
don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A
Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 PM. Exchanges of gifts among
employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over
$10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This
gathering is only for employees!

Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!

Merry Christmas to you and your family,

Patty
________________________________

Company Memo

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 2, 2009
RE: Gala Holiday Party

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees.
We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday, which often
coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However,
from now on, we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy
applies to any other employees who are not Christians and to those still
celebrating Reconciliation Day. There will be no Christmas tree and no
Christmas carols will be sung. We will have other types of music for
your enjoyment.

Happy now?

Happy Holidays to you and your family,

Patty
___________________________

Company Memo

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 3, 2009
RE: Holiday Party

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous
requesting a non-drinking table, you didn't sign your name. I'm happy
to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads,
"AA Only", you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to
handle this?

Somebody?

And sorry, but forget about the gift exchange, no gifts are allowed
since the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and the
executives believe $10.00 is a little chintzy.

REMEMBER: NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.
________________________________

Company Memo

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 4, 2009
RE: Generic Holiday Party

What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins
the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking
during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can
appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our
Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on
serving your meal until the end of the party or else package everything
for you to take it home in little foil doggy baggy. Will that work?

Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest
from the dessert buffet, and pregnant women will get the table closest
to the restrooms.

Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit
with Gay men, each group will have their own table. Yes, there will be
flower arrangement for the Gay men's table.

To the person asking permission to cross dress, the Grill House asks
that no cross-dressing be allowed, apparently because of concerns about
confusion in the restrooms. Sorry.

We will have booster seats for short people.

Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet.

I am sorry to report that we cannot control the amount of salt used in
the food. The Grill House suggests that people with high blood pressure
taste a bite first.

There will be fresh "low sugar" fruits as dessert for diabetics, but the
restaurant cannot supply "no sugar" desserts. Sorry!

Did I miss anything?!?!?

Patty
________________________________

Company Memo

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All F*%^ing Employees
DATE: October 5, 2009
RE: The F*%^ing Holiday Party

I've had it with you vegetarian pricks!!! We're going to keep this
party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit
quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so
quaintly put it, and you'll get your f*%^ing salad bar, including
organic tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They
scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them
scream right NOW!

The rest of you f*%^ing wierdos can kiss my *ss. I hope you all have a
rotten holiday!

Drive drunk and die,

The B*tch from H*ll!!!
________________________________

Company Memo

FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director
DATE: October 6, 2009
RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery
and I'll continue to forward your cards to her.

In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and
give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.

Happy Holidays!

Joan