Susan Mary Malone's Blog: Happiness is a Story, page 26

HAPPINESS IS A LABRADOR RUSH

OMG—I saw the coolest thing on 60 Minutes!  One of those things that makes my world come all together into one big happiness heap.

“The World’s Smartest Dog,” the segment was about a man and his Border Collie, Chaser.  Seems he’s taught Chaser over 500 words, and the dog is flawless at finding exactly what his owner asked him for.

 

Now, that in itself isn’t the really cool thing—anyone who’s ever done advanced training knows that dogs are far smarter than most people give them credit for.  They have memory and cognitive function on the level of a two-year-old human.  And, learn in the same fashion.   And even though Chaser is on the upper scale for intelligence even in Border Collies (who everyone in competitive dogs knows are really smart to begin with. But don’t go out and buy one unless a, you can exercise him daily—a lot—and b, you’re smarter than the dog.  Which unless you’ve trained lot of dogs, trust me—you won’t be), all dogs land somewhere on that intelligence scale.

 

While that was fun to watch, it wasn’t the way-cool part.  The second segment was.

 

A neurosurgeon decided to study dogs’ brains in order to see if they really loved us, or just used us as a meal ticket. 

 

I have to digress for one second here, for historical perspective.  Dogs and humans have been together for centuries now, probably millennia, and while conventional wisdom always held that man domesticated dogs, newer research shows the other way around—dogs initiated the relationship.  Now, you can say it was because humans had slain wooly mammoths in their camps, so food was plentiful, and I’d bet that was the start of it.  But according to this doctor’s study, more was or at least now is at play.

 

He found that when putting dogs under an MRI, and testing their brains, when they smelled the sweat of any old human, nothing happened. But let them smell the sweat of their owners, and the pleasure center in the brain lit up.  That’s the same center that activates when you see someone you love!

 

And, it’s the place in the brain that activates Oxytocin—the bonding, feel-good hormone!  How cool is that?

 

Your dog, when you come home from work, spins and jumps in circles of love J

 

And the kicker?  When you look into the eyes of a dog you love, or rub his ears, being close to him, it sends oxytocin shooting through both you and the dog.  Both of you feel good!

 

That goes a long way to explain why therapy dogs do so much good.  And anybody who’s ever done that work can tell you it’s absolutely true.  I’ve had two therapy dogs, one of whom is still active.  And I choose to do nursing-home visits, as most folks want to see kids in hospitals, etc.

 

What rewarding work it is, even if sometimes difficult.  But it’s when the aide says things such as, “Mrs. Wilson hasn’t spoken since you were here last week,” after the sweet wheel-chair bound lady oohs and ahhs, talking to Harper Lee.  The patients rarely remember my name, but they always remember the dog’s.

 

And of course, anyone who has ever loved a dog can tell you all of this.  But now, we have scientific proof!  When that happens it always tweaks me J

 

So, go hug your Labrador today.  Okay, so you can have another breed.  LOL.  But have a happiness rush for both of you!

 

How do you know your dog is smart?

 

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LIFE IS HARD AND OTHER BS

Okay, so of course we all go through times when life really is hard.  We all know it can be.  As the Buddha said, “Life is suffering.”

But he didn’t leave it with that!  The Noble Truths go on to basically say that if you can control your body and mind in a way that helps others instead of harming them, generating wisdom in your own mind, you can end your suffering and problems.

 

And as M. Scott Peck begins his Road Less Traveled, “Life is difficult.”  He, too, counsels that once you accept that, it becomes a lot easier.

But I’m not really talking about collective consciousness here, but rather, my own!  LOL.  Because one thing I know for true, if I believe something is going to be hard, it is.

I’ve just gone through a really tough week, at the tail end of 6 weeks of fighting a problem with one of my girls.  They are the heart of me, so when something goes wrong there, it cuts to the core.  You know what that’s like.  Sometimes stuff just happens.  But we got through it, me and my girls, with a far happier and more positive result than I could have ever hoped for.  Did I believe all was lost at one point?  Yep.  But I didn’t allow myself to stay there.

And here I’m thinking more in terms of tasks.  If you’re living, truly living, one of the main goals is expansion.  You know, to jump out of your comfort zone and tackle something entirely new. We know doing so keeps our minds sharp as we age.  No study needed to cite for this point!  Gazillions have been done to show that.  Undertaking a physical endeavor, no matter when, helps keep the undertaker at bay.  Yep, we know this too.

But every bit as important is it motivates us onward, gives us new zest for life.  Puts that spring back in our steps.  Flooding us with feel-good hormones, so that emotional health skyrockets.  All good things!

Even knowing this into my bones, when I take on a new big project, my first reaction is: This is going to be hard.  I wasn’t a born optimist!  LOL.  It was a learned trait J  And one with which I still have to be mindful.  Because my first instinct is the sentence above.

 

I learn through trial and error.  Although I watch and listen as others go through trials, and I can learn, in theory, the lessons, I tend not to actually learn them that way. In other words, I seem to need to experience them for myself to get the understanding.  Note to self: Maybe this is a good lesson to tackle next!

But I digress.

What I have learned (thank you, Universe!) is that once I proclaim the new task difficult, and realize I’ve just done so, I can change that thought.  And behold and lo—that works for me!  I say, “There you go again, seeing a mountain here.  Do you really know it’s going to be a mountain?  Of course not!  You cannot know that for sure.  So, let’s focus on the other possibility.”

And what always happens next?  The difficulty fades away.

I can only laugh about this issue as it played out.  A long haul.  Which built to the point of all truly being lost, and a drastic solution proposed by my vet.  That’s when I went, NOT SO FAST.  And instead of buying into the disaster, I pulled out the big guns and called the top of the food chain—the leading repro vet in the country.

And you know what his very words were?

 “Y’all’ve made a mountain out of a molehill.”

No joke.  He was right—we had.  But he provided the positive path forward, to get us out of the mess we’d made.

Of course that might not have been the case.  This might not have ended well.  But the point being, it was my very refusal to believe all was lost that caused me to seek a different road.

Hm.  Maybe I can do that more quickly next time!  LOL.  But for now I proclaim: “Life is Bliss!”

How do you turn your thoughts around?

 

 

 

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4 Signs that You are doing Better than You Think

You can’t trust your own brain.  You just can’t!  It will take you down the craziest roads ever, and replay old tapes until you believe them. 

And we have scientific proof of this (gotta love the science!).

 

I mean, once that reptilian brain (I know, it’s instinct!) has replayed 50,000 times the same thought in one day, why wouldn’t you believe it?  It’s kinda like how politicians repeat the same talking points—regardless of any shred of truth—fifty billion times until “common wisdom” also repeats it as true.

 

Where do they get this stuff?  “Be a politician in 2 easy steps!” ?  Nah, they just took it from the human mind.  The model was right there in front of everybody all along.

 

So, here you’ve been, toiling away, thinking you weren’t getting anywhere, and then  . . . pause!  And you stop to breathe.  Then look back.  If you don’t turn to salt, almost always you’ll see the long road you’ve mastered from where you started. “Wow,” you say, “I’ve come all that way?”  Who knew. 

 

And when taking stock, I’ve found these 4 Foundations for a Better Life to be absolutely true:

You are more than you think.  Women, especially, constantly discount themselves.  Maybe because, our generation anyway, was raised to be “modest.”  Hogwash!  We, too, deserve great things.  And that begins with believing in ourselves.

We are all fields of unlimited potential. And once we explore that, wow.  We uncover new layers of ourselves.  New abilities.

All you have to do is—want to be more.

 

You can Do More than you think.  I mean, a hundred years ago, who could have possibly predicted we’d put a man on the moon?  A bit before that, everybody thought Orville and Wilbur were wonkos.

Who’s to say what’s possible?  Especially for you?  Nobody thought we’d break the 4-minute mile.  Happened.  And who thought, even a decade or two ago, that an African-American would be President?

All you have to do is—take steps to be more.

 

You can Dream More than You Think. How many of us let go of our dreams from youth, plugging into the “responsible” mundane of life?  And while yeah, you have to do the latter, it doesn’t mean giving up the former.  That’s a sure prescription for every negative thing I know.

Who says you have to give up your Dreams?  I have a writing mentor, whose story simply sustains me.  One of my very favorite authors in the world is Norman Maclean.  An English professor throughout his adult life, upon retirement he began writing. His slim novella was rejected by so many publishers I forget the count.  As one said, “This has trees in it.”  But finally, the simply magnificent A River Runs Through It was published—when Maclean was in his 70s.

All you have to do is—keep the dream alive. 

 

You are Loved more than You Think.  We can all get on that pity pot, feel underappreciated, etc., etc., etc.  Boy, is it quite difficult to stop that train once it leaves the station!

But, stop it!  Because I don’t care who you are—somebody loves you.  In all likelihood, lots of bodies do.  We lose sight of that by not appreciating the signs they show us.  We gloss over it, and focus on the negative.  Wow, what a gift we’re leaving on the fertile ground of humanity!

Appreciate the gifts given by your fellow man.

All you have to do is—open your eyes and see. 

 

Because you know, life is good.  Yep, it comes with lots of crap too.  But when it comes down to it, as Louis Armstrong sang, “It’s a wonderful world.”

 

And you belong.

 

 

 

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SENDING YOU JOYFUL THINKING

Energy fields surround us.  Many are dubious, I know.  But proof has come to me in so many ways, even my own skeptical mind accepts it.

I like science to back up my beliefs.  LOL.  Yes, the biblical Hebrews talks about faith being the evidence of things not seen, and that is surely true.  But don’t’cha love when science bolsters your beliefs?

 

Many studies have been done proving that prayer actually works, especially in physical-healing situations.  So many, that I’m not even going to list one here, even though I so love to do so.  LOL. And yes, I know, other studies have arrived to negate that.  But if faced with conflicting evidence, one thing I know for true is when I focus on the positive thoughts, that’s what manifests in my life.

 

I routinely send my friends whatever sort of healing they need in the moment.  Be it physical or emotional.  Be it peace or success in some endeavor.  Some folks call this prayer, and sometimes, I do too.  Some folks call these affirmations.  And sometimes, I do too.

 

But I couldn’t honestly care less about the labels. I mean, who has time?  And labels just anger those set on one belief system or another.  Sometimes it’s just danged hard to keep up with who believes what 

 

Whether you call that Source Fred or Quantum Physics, it’s all the same in the end.

 

The thing is, in my own life and that of many others I personally know, I’ve watched amazing things occur through the practice of giving positive energy, in whatever form.  A Course in Miracles says there is no degree of difficulty in miracles, and I’ve sure found this to be the case.  From what we perceive as the tiniest success through the curing of cancer, I’ve seen this work.

 

What all of this does is not to change God’s perception of the problem, but to change the consciousness of the one praying.  Which lifts the energy field.  Which eases the problem, whatever that may be.

 

As one of my fav authors, Alice Walker, said: “Teach yourself peace.  Pass it on.”

 

We’ve just come through the Christmas season—the one of love and laughter and light.  And then we tend to forget all of that when January smacks us in the face.  For all the plethora of reasons we all know.

 

But what if we played Christmas all year long?  So, pretending the season is still with us, I send you joyful thinking.  I send you a season of happiness and stories, of your own myths in the making.   Whatever may come your way, take the good and leave the rest. Couch all of the events of your life in a manner to make you smile, to cause you to grow.

 

Keep your eye on the prize!

 

 

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The Quest Part 11 : RETURNING HOME the Follow Through

Wow, you made it!  The race has been run, the mountain climbed, the book finished.  After all you’ve been through, just wow.

How many ordeals did you face?  Some you mastered, some perhaps leaving tentacles to unravel another day.  But you got through.

 

And in so doing, found out more about yourself than you thought was left to know!  That’s what a quest will do—expose the broken or bent places within you, where you needed healing on whatever level.

 

Now, once more, you can breathe and take stock.  Because in all good stories (which are, again, based on real-life characters and events) this is a time for denouement, which is just a fancy French word meaning “untying” or “unknotting.”  It’s a letting go of all the emotions so that once the smoke clears, you can see clearly what you’ve learned. What you’ve done.  And how you did.

 

But this is not a time for beating yourself up about any loose ends.  And only in truly depressive cases do you feel like doing this anyway!  Because even if you didn’t win the race, or perhaps the mountain beat you this time, or you know that book still needs more work, you did it.

 

You set your sights on a prize, a goal.  Put your feet to it, kept your gaze focused, persisted against all odds.  And that, my friend, is true success.

 

Even more important is, again, what you learned.  A true quest teaches you something (or many things) new.  New skills or knowledge that you can then pass on to those you love, and those you just know.  It makes you a better person.

 

And that’s the point of this life, no?  To become the best person you can be, no matter how that appears to the outside world.  To master the beasts within you, to tame them so the energy they brought to bear against you can now be used by you.

 

One of my favorite cards in the Tarot is the Strength card, and I always think of it at this time.  The picture is of a woman with one hand on the lion’s head, another under his chin, and he’s somewhat bowed beside her.  She hasn’t forced him into submission, but rather, tamed his energies and he’s now at her service.

 

And we tame those beasts by facing them, dealing with them, understanding them, and finally, incorporating them into our personalities.

 

The whole point of any quest

 

So now you’ve caught your breath again.  Have basked in your glory (and please—do!  You’ve earned it).  And are ready to return to your “real” world, whatever that means to you.

 

But, you come back changed.  There’s no way around it.  With all you’ve gone through and learned, you’re a different person now.  A better one.  One with something more to give.

 

Because that’s the whole point as well—to be able to give to others what you’ve learned.  It’s what all the great myths teach.  The Holy Grail in the King Arthur legends (and how long did it take them to find it?  LOL) is the essence that heals the wounds of the land.

 

Every quest is, at its heart, a journey fraught with peril to find that magic potion that will heal something or someone—in addition to yourself.

 

Perhaps the young girl next door wants to know how you climbed your mountain.  Perhaps the boy is impressed that you wrote a book, and wants some of that for himself.  And you find years and years later that he’s become a recording artist . . .

 

And now you have something to teach them.  Something that makes the world a better place.  All because you committed to your own quest.

 

I’m fond of the Alice Walker quote that says: “Teach yourself Peace.  Pass it on.”

 

And we teach ourselves peace by walking through trials—the ones that come when we follow our own hero’s quest.

 

Welcome to the world of the heroes.  From the Joseph Campbell quote to begin this: “And where we had thought to be alone, we will be with all the world.”

 

 

 

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The Quest Part 10: Sacrifice and Bliss and Perseverance

Well, we’re glad those annoyances in the last part are over!

But, the stage is now set for the final ordeal.  Here everything comes together as you begin your sprint toward the goal.  This leads to the climax, that final facing of the foe within and without, the most dangerous part of our journey.

 

Will you succeed?  The jury is still out on that one.

 

Because everything you’ve learned up until this point must now be employed.

 

Did you train hard enough, wise enough, to summit that peak?  Whatever your peak may be.  Whether it’s running in that marathon, finishing the book, going to court to fight for the moral victory, saying yes to the marriage ordeal, saving the world from aliens (okay, so that may be a bit far-fetched, but being deployed into a war zone gets you the same thing).

 

Whatever you’ve been shooting for lies straight in front of you.  And while you’ve dealt with internal demons, this brings any remnants of those full to the fore.

 

But you’ve learned so much through this journey, no?  You’ve learned where your Achilles’ heel lies.  Who your friends are (and not!).  Have allies at your back.  You’ve persisted in ploughing forward against all odds.

 

And that is success.  In and of itself.  That you persisted is actually a great success—only a small percentage will. Perseverance is a noble thing.  

 

If we were in an action film, the final battle has begun.

 

And with it, a sacrifice arises.  In the very overcoming of fears in order to reach your goal, there will be something you must give up.  A part of yourself.

 

Again, if we were in say, Gladiator, you would literally die.  The hero of the story often does, physically anyway.  But more to the point, there is almost always a metaphorical death.

 

You give up alcohol for good, and say good bye to that part of yourself.  You say yes to the proposal, giving up some independence.  You see the crevasse in front of you where you failed at your last summit attempt.  And you let go of your fear. You face whatever beast within you that came up through the earlier ordeals, and which you mastered, at least in essence, when you went into the dark night of the soul.   Even if this is a belief that no longer serves you (and these can be the most difficult!).

 

Sacrifice comes from the Latin, and means, “making holy.”  By giving up something, your compassion grows in the vacated space, and you have something of yourself to give back (we’ll get to that one later!).

 

Funny thing about sacrifice though, it brings with it resurrection.  In the literal death of a hero in stories, he lives on.  In the Gladiator example above, his sacrifice in the ultimate battle saves Rome.

 

Okay, so we’re not about the bludgeoning of bad guys with axes (although that might actually be your lot!).  Most of us, though, won’t be in any literal hand-to-hand combat (thank god!).  But all great stories—all of them, including yours—have the element of sacrifice in them, and then a resurrection of something better within you, like the phoenix rising to the sun.

 

Of course, during the actual doing of whatever it is you’re doing, you don’t have the time to consider all these implications.  You’re busy fighting that last battle, whatever it may be.

 

This is the point at which you’re most conscious.  You’re at your own peak.  This is the final exam, and you are ready.

 

Fight on!  You can do this!  Run, create, climb.  Let go of all that was holding you back, and use the pure energy that arises.

 

I always loved Joseph Campbell’s take on what he called the great Western truth: “That each of us is a completely unique creature and that, if we are ever to give any gift to the world, it will have to come out of our own experience and fulfillment of our own potentialities, not someone else’s.”

 

From this will come your gift to the world.  If you survive or not!

 

Did you?

 

 

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The Quest Part 9: THE TURN FOR HOME

Reward over!

Well, that was abrupt. And quite sadly, it usually is.

 

How rude. I mean, here you were, having faced the big inner demons.  Basking in your reward, whatever that was.  Feeling pretty dang good about yourself and where you are on this journey.  Ready to tackle it again!

 

And wham!  Not always but most of the time you walk straight into a wall of demons.  Fangs bloody, snarling and foaming, oh-so glad to see you, my pretty! 

 

Seriously?  I mean, what the heck!  You were supposed to get some clear sailing now, right?

 

The universe does have a sense of humor.

 

Invariably, you lace up those metaphorical running shoes again only to find—in the early morning darkness—that it’s sleeting, temps plunging, wind-chill in the teens.  The car won’t start.  Your boss dumps another ton of paperwork on your head (doesn’t he know you have a more important project to dive into?).  Or in my case, just back from a long, invigorating vacation, the Internet won’t work.  Again!

 

Maybe it’s the cosmic joke of dumping you back in the grease after being plunged in cold water to rest from the cooking.  I don’t know.  But here it all comes at you once more.

 

After basking in that comfort, we feel the pull of resting there a bit longer . . . Something has to impel us forward again.  And while that can be inner resolve, usually some external force pops up.  Tell me there isn’t some plan in place . . .

 

Admit it—you liked that reward.  A lot.  And a part of you was going, well, we could just sort of stay here . . .   Forever sounds nice.  It’s easy to get lulled into a peaceful place, and get distracted here by the soughing of the wind through the trees.  Or as our travelers did in the Wizard of Oz, succumb to the lure of poppies.  Gotta watch those poppies every time . . .

 

One way or another, our energy has ebbed.  And we need a push to get us going again.  We still have a lot of forces to face on this quest . . .   Are you up to it?

 

This also has the effect of bringing back up your central fears and foes.  But we just slayed those, right?  That was the point of facing those internal demons!  Yep.  It was.  But they have a way of returning after retreating.  Ergo the fangs and snarling, foaming mouths . . .   Takes more than one round to banish them.  Faults and flaws, fears, desires, even addictions rear their pointy heads again.

 

Perhaps now you have to run from a new foe, not yet prepared to face it.  Perhaps the thing you’ve been chasing has run away from you!  Perhaps sailing around the world, with the shore in sight, your sail rips clean in two.

 

Honestly, this is a good thing.  I know, I know, tough to see in the moment.  But what these obstacles do is to rev up the energy once more.  They propel you not just to get you going again, but to recommit, to remember what you’re fighting for.  To prepare you for what still lies ahead.  Because even though tamed, the internal beasts that caused this to be a quest—although perhaps quiescent for a time—are not entirely slain.

 

But remember—the bigger the dragon you chew, the stronger your energy in the end. 

 

So if what you face seems daunting, rejoice!  Just think of the strength and courage you will gain from besting it.

 

And best it you will.  Now, go run to face your foe!

 

 

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THE QUEST Part 8: Fruits of the Reward

We have had some fairly tough slogging indeed.  Ah, the new things we’ve had to learn!  Getting “called” to begin with was perhaps shocking enough.  Then doing our best to avoid that call.  Then whatever pushed us to take the steps to commitment.  And all the trials and tribulations that taught us skills we needed.  Not to mention the allies and villains we’ve faced.

And the piece de resistance—having to face that stinking dragon within. 

 

We are tired!  But as they say, it’s a good tired   Our quest has been fraught with perils but meaning as well, and at this point we’re seeing where we’ve been, where we are, and where we’re going.  There’s still a long road before us (and indeed, the deeper trials—the what we’re doing this for—still lie ahead).

 

But now is that time to pause.  To take a deep breath, to rest.  In the last stage, where we faced that demon, we’ve had time to reflect on what has been holding us back—indeed, what has quite often always held us back.  To deal with that.  And make sense of it all.

 

And I don’t care who you are in whatever story, this is when you simply must rest.  Not reevaluate or reflect—you’ve done that already.  Not that you won’t have to again, but for now, let it go.

 

Now it’s time to recharge—whatever that means for you.  Whether it’s a spa day with friends, a week of afternoon tea in that special set reserved for “company,” but now a place just for you.  Or something bigger, grander.

 

I’ve always found the reward stage to be commensurate with what you’ve done up to now, how big your quest is at this point in your life.  In other words, you wouldn’t go on a week-long cruise because you’ve lost 15 of the 40 pounds of your goal.  Okay, so you might, but not in my world.  LOL.  You may indeed, however, go for a mani-pedi in the middle of a work day.

 

But this is truly a way of honoring yourself for where you’ve come.  And you have to do this.  It’s not pride when you honestly acknowledge yourself for your accomplishments.  As teacher Bobbe Sommer says, “Having a low opinion of yourself is not ‘modesty.’ It’s self-destruction. Holding your uniqueness in high regard is not ‘egotism.’ It’s a necessary precondition to happiness and success.”

 

Often in books and film (the great ones of which follow this quest to a T, and again, they come from real-life stories that writers make up), our hero finds himself between the sheets with his love interest.  I.e., this is where you get a defining love scene.

 

And I’m not at all opposed to that one either!  For the time being anyway, the course of true love is running smooth.

 

Because it won’t be long until the corollary is true.  The best love stories keep a push-pull to them, and the main outer problem is still to be faced—in all books and legends and real life. 

 

So take this time, in whatever manner nourishes you.  Be proud of what you’ve accomplished—it’s been difficult!  Reward yourself.  Rest.  Rejuvenate, whether for an hour, an afternoon, a day, or a week. That part’s up to you.  This both rewards you, and gets you ready for the next stage of your journey.

 

Kudos from me for getting this far!   You are, indeed, a hero.

 

 

 

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THE QUEST Part 7: Slaying the Dragon

We might be a little tired on our quest.  I mean, sheesh!  Since we started this journey there has been little rest.  We’ve faced lions and tigers and bears, oh my!

Many of those were folks we thought to be friends.  So the emotional toll has been relatively high as well. Facing an unknown enemy is so much easier than one you thought loved you. Or at least had your best interests at heart.  Those are the ones that sting.

 

And oh, what we wouldn’t give for a nice cup of tea and a warm snuggly bed . . .

 

Stop!  You don’t get that yet.  Before the reward stage can be realized, the crux of the matter comes straight up and bites your butt.

 

Or that’s what it feels like anyway.  Right now, this day, when you least expect it, the major beast you’ve been stuffing all this time rises right up in your face.  And while it can affect the other folks hiking with you, and they may want to help you fight it, this is your dragon.  And only you can slay it.

 

Dang those dragons!

 

This is where the inner and outer worlds collide.  And for you anyway, it’s the thing you fear the most, the thing you’ve “put off” dealing with all this time (possibly all your life), but the monster that if you don’t slay now, or at least tame, leaves you stuck in your tracks, unable to move forward.

 

To add insult to injury, this isn’t even the final ascent of your journey!

 

I have an editorial client whom I just love.  She went from being an awkward non-athlete, two-pack-a-day smoker, embroiled in a marriage and life that was draining her to the bone.  She took up jogging. Then rock climbing.  Then those mountains looked quite inviting . . .

 

She ended up running 7 marathons on 7 continents, and climbing the 6 major peaks on 6 continents.

 

Everest stumped her.

 

She failed the first time.  It was awful.  And horror of horrors, she failed the second time.  She had some physical conditions that would have stopped a normal woman from even attempting this, but it was her fear that conquered her.

 

When she got home that second time (which is about ¾ into the story—right where it should be), she faced that fear at its root.  It wasn’t pretty.  It’s a tough part of the book to read.  But find it and face it she did.  And set her sights on Everest again . . .

 

Did she succeed?  You’ll have to read the book!  Ha.  But that’s not where we are on our journey.

 

And while Everest was the outer fanged monster, her inner fear was every bit as huge.  That’s the mirror of the inner and outer beasts.  And it always corresponds and correlates—in everybody’s stories. 

 

Because slaying those demons is just about slaying the dark aspects.  That’s what true myths and fairy tales are about.  That’s what the hero’s journey is.  Just think of the story above.  It fits the myth to a T . . .   As Joseph Campbell said, “The ultimate dragon is within you.”  

 

Myths just help us make sense of the experience. 

 

But this juncture is what determines whether you succeed or fail—if you slayed the beast within you.  Because if you don’t, you won’t have that missing piece that caused you to fail before.  I mean, if you’d already mastered it, you wouldn’t need this quest!

 

This is the internal piece, strength, insight that will be the final key necessary for the ultimate battle (our climax, still well down the road).  If you don’t get it here, your quest may indeed prove tragic.

 

Face it.  Stare it down.  You don’t have to be a Ninja warrior to fight this one, you just have to have the strength to look it in the eye and not back down.

 

As Aristotle said: “You will never do anything in this world without courage. It is the greatest quality of the mind next to honor.”

 

 

The post THE QUEST Part 7: Slaying the Dragon appeared first on Susan Mary Malone.

THE QUEST Part 6: Tribulations and Trials

We are well into our journey!  We know who our friends are, we know who’s against us (although leave room for additional helpers and more surprises from allies), and now we’re learning what we need to propel us to the goal.

We’re feeling pretty good about ourselves!

But just about the time you think you’ve mastered something, another bigger trial comes up and whacks ya. 

I know, I know, it sounds as though this quest is just one danged thing after another.  And it can sure seem that way, especially through the middle part of the journey when you’re almost always having to learn new stuff.  But you’re new to this endeavor, no?  Or, perhaps this is a second (or third, or . . .) crack at it.  If you didn’t have more to learn though, you wouldn’t have needed the quest in the first place!  And that requires more “opportunities to learn.”

The old, “I’m wise enough now, God,” tends to come up.  Because often through all the muck and the mire you just feel like you’re slogging through.  Is this ever gonna end? The goal seems farther away than ever.  And these stinkin’ obstacles just keep coming.

They’re tests.  That’s all they are.  And they really do build not only character (again, have enough of that! we squeal at this point), but as importantly, we learn from each and every one.  Anything worth undertaking is worth having to learn a new skill set, right? 

I work with a lot of folks writing first novels.  And man, is there a lot to learn. Well-written novels just look easy to write because the author has such enormous skill.  The better the read, the more accomplished the person holding the pen.

As I often say to open when speaking at literary conferences: “Writing well really is rocket science.”

And through the middle part, would-be scribes often want to quit.  But they don’t if they’re working with me!  You need someone or some thing to help spur you on.  I remind them (as I’m reminding me!) that keeping going is the primary key.

I’m so fond of author and spiritual teacher Maya Angelou’s advice: “You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.”

This motivation can come from a mentor, a spiritual belief, even a miracle—which can just be some tiny piece of encouragement, even from a book.  Or, from a friend who sends you hot chocolate.

Funny how hot chocolate can restore one’s faith in, well, just about anything!  Chocolate of any sort can connect us with the divine J

One of my favorite old books is called Hinds Feet on High Places. Throughout the book, Much Afraid is enduring trials and tribulations on her path, of course from without but so much of her troubles come from within.  In any good story (for which yours qualifies!), the outer trials mirror the inner ones. 

And discouraged she gets.  Often.  As she sinks into despair she always hears: “Call the Shepard!”  Who helps get her out of whatever fix.  That’s what the Shepherd does, of course.   The point of the role in the first place!

By the time you’re ¾ through the book, and Much Afraid gets in another jam, you’re shouting, “Call the Shepherd!”

And that Shepherd is whatever your spiritual belief and path is.  It can be God or the Force or the Universe or you can call it Fred. It’s the spiritual light within you, which connects you to whatever higher power you subscribe to.

Of course, that light is always there.  Always.  But like Much Afraid, we forget to call upon it.  And usually we’re well into the deep abyss before we remember . . .

Yep, this part of the journey can be just mundane in its troubles. Just tiring.  Filled with wondering if this is even worth it.  It wears you down.

But there’s a reason for that, as all great myths show.  Once you get worn to the nub, the ego’s defenses wane.  The irrelevant within you falls away.  If you persist, you’ll see the light of Truth, shining from behind the clouds—where it’s always been. 

And in the midst of it, get quiet and call your Shepherd . . .

 

 

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