Thom S. Rainer's Blog, page 60

Unpacking Spiritual Fatherhood

Without even knowing you, I know two things about you:

Your earthly father left his mark on you.Your Heavenly Father loves you deeply.

We are all marked by our earthly fathers in some way. The markings are obvious when the father is absent, but what about the dads who are around? Whether your dad was the Back Seat Dad; the Good, But Emotionally Unavailable Dad; or even the All-American Dad, he left an imprint on you. Some call it a “father wound.”

But we are all also deeply loved by our Heavenly Father. Just a glance at Scripture tells us this. “See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!” (1 John 3:1). “Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken” (Isaiah 54:10). 

For many Jesus-following men today, their earthly father wound created a disconnect that keeps them from fully understanding how God feels about them. They have plenty of head knowledge about their identity in Christ, yet when they try to live out of that truth, a block keeps it from penetrating their hearts.

This is where spiritual fathers come in. By embodying the Christian life in a way most men have never seen, spiritual fathers bridge the gap between earthly father and Heavenly Father and help men understand the disconnect they’re experiencing. If Jesus humanized God for a generation, spiritual fathers help men understand that the Christian life is not a call to do anything; it’s a call to become all God has for them. A spiritual father comes alongside another man in love; helps him find and follow Jesus; and is there for him as he learns to love, serve, and give. 

To examine the role a spiritual father plays, we can look to Paul’s relationship with Timothy. In Scripture, we see that . . .

Paul walked alongside. In 1 Thessalonians 2:8, Paul talks about imparting not only the gospel but our lives as well. And he did that with Timothy, journeying with him and sharing life with him, just as spiritual fathers journey with their men.

Paul modeled faith and shared wisdom. In 2 Timothy 3:10-11, Paul says, “Now you have observed my teaching, my conduct, my aim in life, my faith, my patience, my love, my steadfastness, my persecutions, and my suffering.” Spiritual fathers share their stories and their experience, good, bad, and everything in between.

Paul prayed consistently. In 2 Timothy 1:3, Paul tells Timothy, “I constantly remember you in my prayers.” A significant part of spiritual fatherhood is ongoing prayer. While seasons may occur where the relationship drifts physically apart, the spiritual father maintains the desire to pray continually for the men God brings.

Paul encouraged and affirmed. In 1 Thessalonians 3:2, Paul calls Timothy “our brother and co-worker in God’s service.” And in Philippians 2:20-22, Paul says of Timothy, “I have no one else like him…you know that Timothy has proved himself, because as a son with his father he has served with me in the work of the gospel.” Some men have never heard words of affirmation like this, and hearing from a respected spiritual father can be monumental.

Paul required multiplication. In 2 Timothy 2:2, Paul instructs Timothy, “And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable people who will also be qualified to teach others.” Spiritual fathers are raising up leaders who will become spiritual fathers to the next generation.

I came to know Jesus as an 8th grader, but when my dad died, I couldn’t reconcile his passing with the idea that God unconditionally loved me. This lousy theology plagued me through high school, college, career beginnings, and the early days of marriage.

This flawed thinking plagued me until 2002 when a man named Regi mentored me. Regi was the first Christian man I encountered who was willing to share the good, bad, and ugly of his life and who expected the same of me. He became a spiritual father to me, encouraging me to read books, memorize Scripture, and intentionally work on my marriage and my faith. He was also the first Christian man who would not let me settle for less than the life God had for me. As I look back on the highs and lows of my journey, Regi was the most consistent presence in my life. Through career change, depression, marriage issues, and more, he became a trusted source who shared his wisdom and pointed me back to Scripture when life wasn’t turning out the way I planned. As my spiritual father, he helped me bridge the gap between my relationship with my earthly father and my secure identity found in my Heavenly Father.

When Regi mentored me and the seven others in my group, he modeled for us how to live “this way of life” (Matthew 28:18-20, The Message). This model for mentoring and spiritual fatherhood became the Radical Mentoring process. Today, Radical Mentoring equips leaders and churches with the same life-giving mentoring model I experienced in 2002. If you look closely at your church or community, you will find men like Regi, who, through the ups and downs of life, have grasped the reality of God’s love for them. Men who authentically live out their faith in a way that is attractive and aspirational to the next generation.

Radical Mentoring would love to help you empower these men to step into their role as spiritual fathers to the next generation. When you go here to get access, you’ll receive everything you need to launch Radical Mentoring groups for men (and also Known Collective groups for women), including our coaching and guidance. And the best part, our entire resource library is available to you for free. Learn more here.

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The Bi-vocational Revolution Most Churches Are Missing

You must be careful when you label something a revolution. After all, if everything is a revolution, then nothing is a revolution.

But I call the bi-vocational movement a true revolution in the church. The revolution is taking place right before our eyes, but most church members and leaders don’t see it. And it is a movement that has accelerated the past two years.

The Extent of the Movement

Though we don’t have precise data, we estimate that there are over one million bi-vocational pastors and church staff in North America alone. That number is increasing during the pandemic. Indeed, most churches have at least one bi-vocational staff member. I was working with a church averaging 175 in worship attendance last week. I asked the pastor how many bi-vocational staff he had. Much to his surprise, he counted six.

He was not even aware of how extensive the movement was in his own church.

That church is the rule, not the exception. We only expect the numbers to grow.

Understanding What Bi-vocational Mean

In its simplest definition, “bi-vocational” means a pastor or church staff member does not depend on the church as his or her primary source of income. These persons have another line of work that provides their primary income and benefits. In many cases, the pastor or staff member puts together several side gigs to provide additional income.

We sometimes use the word “co-vocational” to define a type of bi-vocational pastor or staff. This person has chosen to be in both the vocational church and the vocational marketplace. They have a keen sense of calling to remain that way even if the church could afford to compensate them full-time.

A Need for a Spirit-led Strategy

Here is the challenge: Most church leaders are not thinking through the implications of the bi-vocational revolution. What ministry positions in the church should be strategically planned to be bi-vocational? When a full-time staff person steps down or retires, should we replace him or her with one or more bi-vocational staff? How do we provide training and resources for these people?

We are in uncharted waters. To be clear, the waters have existed and grown for the past several years, but we have not charted them. To mix the metaphors, we are going along for the ride instead of planning for the next wave.

What Can We Do Now?

We are in the process of creating more resources for bi-vocational pastors and staff. I pray many churches and organizations will intentionally join this movement and see where God’s Spirit will lead.

We must rethink our staffing structure in light of this movement.

We must seek to provide resources for the bi-vocational pastor and staff person. Most of the focus has been on the full-time person in vocational ministry.

We must rethink educational models in light of this movement.

We must retrain lay leaders who provide oversight and accountability for bi-vocational staff.

We must help pastors know how to lead the bi-vocational staff effectively.

We must be prepared for many pastors moving to bi-vocational status.

Forward into the Future

This revolution should neither intimidate us nor scare us. It is a movement that should have profound implications for the health of the church, specifically for the improving health of the church.

God’s Spirit is always at work. Sometimes we recognize these movements clearly. Sometimes we need a better focus.

I truly believe the bi-vocational movement will be both disruptive and positive. But we ignore it at our peril.

It is time. It is time to understand the bi-vocational revolution. It is time to respond to the bi-vocational revolution. It is time to embrace the bi-vocational revolution.

It could be one of God’s great movements in our churches in recent history.

I would not want to miss it.

 

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Six Ways the Church Becomes Hypocritical

A hypocrite is someone who acts differently than his or her stated beliefs. In one sense, we’re all hypocrites because none of us live up to our own standards.

We’ve all heard the claims about how the church is full of hypocrites. It’s easy to dismiss these complaints as unfair. We shouldn’t.

Your attitude and actions should match your belief. Jesus expressed concern over religious hypocrisy. In Matthew 6 and Luke 11, He denounces hypocritical givers, hypocritical prayers, hypocritical fasting, and hypocritical judgmentalism, among others. Jesus was tired of the false piety of the Pharisees, specifically how they used religion to leverage power.

Christian hypocrisy occurs when you make yourself the priority over God. Often, hypocrisy is an accusation leveled at a particular person. But churches can become hypocritical and cultivate a culture of hypocrisy as an organization. How does this happen?

1. The church becomes fixated on external preferences and not internal devotion. This kind of hypocrisy occurs when we elevate our preferences to the level of Scripture and lower others’ preferences to the level of sin. Church preferences never saved anyone. Let’s keep the main thing the main thing.

2. The church falls in love with commitment but neglects people. Jesus condemns the Pharisees for loving what they were doing more than why they were doing it. They loved the system more than the people they were supposed to serve. Commitment is important. Commitment that neglects people is hypocrisy.

3. The church leaders seek religious prominence instead of humble service. Church leaders who feed off the attention of others will face the temptation to raise their own names above that of Christ. Serving people in a way that glorifies God requires humility.

4. The church hides double standards with artificial religious rules. Well-intentioned rule-followers can be swept into hypocrisy. Artificial rules can hide double standards, but they also confuse the message of the gospel.  

5. The church kills the heart of worship with a religious presentation. What Abel gave to God was an acceptable offering because it reflected the true heart of worship. What Cain gave to God was not acceptable because it was a religious presentation. And what happened next? The hypocritical brother killed the worshiping brother. The heart of worship is complete surrender to King Jesus, not a religious presentation.

6. The church adds to the gospel to burden people. Religion becomes a barrier to salvation when the church adds rules to the gospel as a prerequisite for salvation. Nothing is more hypocritical than burdening people with the false gospel of legalism. When salvation is a moving target, the church becomes a vehicle for oppression.

One of the main antidotes to hypocrisy is a culture of repentance. When people live out repentance, hypocrisy becomes much less of a problem in the church.

Frankly, on this side of heaven, a perfect church would be a crushing burden. You would ruin it the moment you joined! You don’t need a perfect church. You need a perfect Savior. The church is called to be authentic.

Ultimately, hypocrisy dies when a church becomes sold out for the good news of Jesus.

 

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Ten “10-Minute Refreshers” for Busy and Weary Church Leaders

Many church leaders I know are simply exhausted as we continue to navigate a COVID-influenced world. Most of us, though, have “10-minute” segments throughout the day when we have little planned, and I want us to use those segments wisely as we try to manage our crowded time well and find rest. If you don’t have those times, I encourage you to build at least two into your day—and use them to be renewed. Here are some things you might do to be refreshed in just a few minutes:

1. Take a quick walk. It’s just good to get away from the desk and walk for a few minutes—even if the walk is just down the hall or around the church campus. Somehow, walks help us clear our minds for a minute.

2. Listen to an online devotion or a portion of a sermon. Taking 10 minutes regularly to invite someone else to speak into our lives can be transforming. Some options include the Gospel Coalition’s “Word of the Week,” John Piper’s “Solid Joys,” and David Platt’s “Pray the Word.”

3. Read, re-read, and meditate on a psalm. They don’t take long to read, and they’re packed with emotion, challenge, and conviction. Some of my favorites to read are Psalms 1, 13, 42-43, 51, 67, 119 (divided over a few days), 148, and 150.

4. Listen to (and sing) one of your favorite hymns or praise choruses. I keep my phone handy so I can quickly pull up songs like “Amazing Grace,” “Are You Washed in the Blood?,” “Is He Worthy?,” and “O Come to the Altar” when I need them.

5. Write a thank-you note to someone. You might choose to send an email or a text instead, but handwritten notes still have power. Writing a “thank you” to someone evokes good memories and refreshes the heart.

6. Pray for other church leaders in your community. Most of us serve in communities with other church leaders for whom we pray too little. But, praying for others turns our attention outwardly and supports the work of the Great Commission where we live—all in 10 minutes.

7. Work on scripture memorization. For your own personal growth, use 10 minutes each day to memorize texts. You’ll be surprised how much you can do in 10 minutes—and, you’ll stand before your congregation with more godly confidence when you’ve put the Word in your heart.

8. Call a friend. I’m amazed by how little we use our phones for their original intent: to actually talk to somebody. We can do a lot of good ministry, though, by making a quick phone call to someone once a day. Encourage another brother or sister in Christ, and we’ll find ourselves encouraged in the process.

9. Make a “blessing list.” I know it sounds cliché, but it never hurts to pause and count our blessings. Even if you just think about them in your head (rather than write them down), they are, I trust, enough to fill 10 minutes of thanksgiving.

10. Walk your church’s worship center, and pray for those who will attend next Sunday. You probably know where many of them will sit. Pray for them – and then remember to pray for unexpected guests who attend.

 10 minutes—that’s all you need.

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Numbers Do Matter: 10 Signs of a Disturbing Trend in Churches

One census was ordered by God. The other was instigated by Satan.

God said that numbers do matter. He ordered a counting of all the people of Israel shortly after the people fled Egypt. You can see the specific mandate in Exodus 30:12-14. An entire book of the Bible is devoted to the progress and results of the census. The book is aptly named Numbers.

But another census of the people of Israel was clearly instigated by Satan. The Bible is straightforward on that matter in 1 Chronicles 21:1: “Satan rose up against Israel and caused David to take a census of the people of Israel.” Apparently, David ordered the count for his own self-aggrandizement.

The point is simple. Numbers and counting are either good or evil according to the motivation of those counting.

We are in a historical cycle in the evangelical world where the mood is to disparage counting, attendance, and other numerical metrics. Consequently, we are in danger of losing accountability that is inherent with following numbers.

How are we able to discern the growing disdain for numbers and counting? Here are ten issues that are indicative of the movement to disparage metrics.

1. An increasing number of comments that the church is the people, not the building. Of course, the church is not a building. Of course, the church is the people of God. But those people are commanded to gather somewhere. That gathering place is usually a building. This issue is often expressed as a reason not to count our worship attendance. It’s a poor excuse.

2. An increasing number of comments that the church should focus on sending not attending. This argument is fallacious. It puts missionary sending to the community and beyond in opposition to gathering for worship. It’s both/and, not either/or.

3. Numbers for bragging rights. Again, the issue is one of motive. David obviously wanted to brag about the size of his kingdom. The problem was his heart, not counting people.

4. Failure to count group attendance. If you want to gauge the health of your church, a good metric is weekly group attendance. If you are not counting weekly group attendance, you are missing the opportunity to determine the commitment of your core members.

5. The priority of ministry over numbers. Again, this argument is fallacious. It suggests that a church should do ministry instead of counting, for example, worship attendance. This argument was used by a number of mainline churches for around 50 years. They maintained the argument until there were no members left to do ministry.

6. Counting is legalistic. Anything can turn legalistic without the right motive: reading the Bible, sharing your faith, giving, and others. At the risk of redundancy, it is a question of motive and the heart.

7. COVID! While I do not want to minimize the tragedy of COVID, I fear we will begin to use it as an excuse for waning commitment to the church. Those church leaders (and other organizational leaders) who learn to pivot and adjust to a new reality will see the greatest fruit.

8. It’s about the core. Those articulating this argument communicate that fewer is better. Those who are committed will attend regularly. We should not worry about the others, the argument goes. But we need the less committed to attend church to become more committed. We need the non-Christians to attend church to hear the gospel.

9. Waning and unreported conversions. Most North American congregations are seeing fewer conversions. Most of them have no accountability because they fail to report the number of conversions.

10. No published worship and small group attendance. That which is reported gets noticed. That which is noticed gets attention. That which gets attention gets better.

Evangelical churches are repeating the history of mainline churches. They are devising reasons to excuse declining attendance. In doing so, they are implicitly saying the gathered church is not important.

Robert Hudnut, a mainline writer from 1975, argued that it is a good sign that people are leaving churches. In his book, Church Growth Is Not the Point, he said, “the loss of growth statistics has meant increase in the growth of the gospel.”

His argument was symptomatic of dying mainline churches 50 years ago. A half-century later, evangelical churches are dying and using the same rationale.

Numbers do matter. Especially when the motive is right, and the heart is pure.

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How Do Outsiders View Your Inside?

It’s pretty easy for us to think about what we think about when we think about the weekend experience at our churches. (Feel free to re-read that sentence. I won’t be offended.)

After all, they’re our experiences. We gather together on a regular basis. We catch up with our long-time friends. We walk through the same old doors, sit in the same old seats, and – for the most part – experience a familiar, somewhat predictable, unsurprising service.

Not so with our first time guests. Whereas we’re seeing it for the 500th time, they’re seeing it for the first. If we’re old pros, they’re rookies. And so, while it can be difficult to look at the weekend through the eyes of a guest, it’s necessary. It’s necessary for your guests, because if we don’t steward their first visit well, they may not come back. And it’s necessary for us, because it helps us to remain nimble and humble in reaching our community for the gospel.

Here are six questions you can think about when you’re thinking about the weekend:

Do guests know when you meet? Are service times posted clearly on the website? Are the times on the church marquee out by the road still accurate?

Do guests know where you meet? Do all online mapping services lead to your gathering spot? If you’re mobile, is their maps app taking them to the weekend worship service, or to your rented weekday office space?

Do guests know what to do when they show up? Is the signage clear? Where do they park? How do they get into the building? Where do they drop off their kids? Do you even have something for their kids?

Do guests know what to do when they get inside? Can they sit just anywhere? Are there sections or seats that are off limits? Are all parts of the service for them, or are some things restricted? If they want or need more information, who should they ask?

Do guests know that people care about them? Is it obvious that you’ve planned the weekend with them in mind? Do you have a way for them to self-identify? Have you made sure the facility is clean? Are your people actually talking to strangers they don’t know?

Do guests know what’s next? Have you answered the “So what?” and “Now what?” questions? Are there resources to help them go further in their journey? Is there an event or a place they can go to find out more?

Every weekend is somebody’s first weekend. And chances are better than average that you’re going to have a few outsiders trying to get inside this Sunday. How will they view their experience?

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What You Might Be Missing in Your Church’s Annual Budget

Budget season is upon us. Most churches budget on a calendar year basis. Meetings begin in September and October to finalize the budget before Christmas.

Churches are adapting with new ministry paradigms. Many congregations recently added digital strategies. There is a renewed focus on getting people back into groups. Adopting and fostering churches is becoming more commonplace.

As you attempt new ways of doing ministry, don’t fall back into an old budget template. You can’t resource new ministry paradigms with lagging budget practices. Before jumping into the 2022 budget process this year, consider these areas you might be missing.

Start with revenue first, not expenses. Far too many churches budget expenses first. Then they try to adjust expected revenue. The better approach is to forecast revenue and then adjust expenses to match.

Stop making all expenses equal. Most churches have fixed costs like personnel expenses, building and utility expenses, and other items like insurance. After determining a revenue figure, budget fixed costs before variable costs, then make a priority list of variable costs. For example, you should not cut debt service expenses (fixed cost) to make room in the budget for more bouncy houses at Fall Fest (variable cost).

Examine paid positions that should move to volunteer roles. Do you really need every paid musician? Does the librarian need to be a staff position? Can you outsource certain maintenance roles? In some churches, these paid positions may be warranted. In many churches, they were put in place years ago and never examined again.

Do not under-invest in children’s ministry and student ministry. Is your children’s minister the lowest paid ministry team member? Does your student ministry budget match your worship budget? It should not be easier to cut your children’s budget than your technology budget. 

Reverse the slow erosion in missions. Cutting missions is a below-the-radar trend in church budgeting. It’s an easy area to cut because most church members will not feel the effects. A good rule of thumb is ten percent of the budget should be dedicated to local and international missions.

Do not underestimate hospitality. Few people will vie for more funds in the hospitality budget. In fact, some may even scoff at what is spent on guest cards and coffee. Long-time church members rarely notice poor hospitality. But then they wonder why guests are not returning. The hospitality budget is a long-term investment. Do not underestimate its importance.

Do not forget to budget for deferred maintenance. Every church should budget for the normal rate of deterioration of the campus. Almost no church includes this area in the budget. Here is the problem: Every $1 in deferred maintenance costs $4 of capital renewal needs in the future. You rob the future of your church when you do not budget for deferred maintenance.

This year is the opportunity to update your budget processes. Don’t miss these important items.

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12 Traits of Churches Doing Well During the Pandemic

I just completed a fun exercise. I looked at the data and anecdotal information of churches that are doing well during the pandemic. While these churches still have an attendance below pre-COVID days, they are beginning to grow, gain a new momentum, and see possibilities other church leaders perhaps have not seen.

So, what are these churches doing? As I examined the data and traits of healthy churches, I saw twelve recurring themes. To be clear, many churches are doing some of these items, but the churches I examined are doing all twelve items. Here they are in no particular order:

1. They are faithfully preaching and teaching the Bible. Okay, this item sounds like a no-brainer. I get that. But these healthy churches are making certain Bible preaching and teaching is a high priority. One pastor from Illinois shared with me: “It seems like we need to hear from God more than ever these days.”

2. They are increasing their evangelistic efforts. I will have more to say about this item in the days ahead. For now, understand two important realities. First, before the pandemic most (almost all) churches lost their evangelistic focus and priority. Second, these healthy churches decided in God’s power to renew their commitment to evangelism.

3. They are providing hope and encouragement during the pandemic. The leaders of these churches seem to know how to communicate the redeeming work of God in a way that provides encouragement and hope. Their church members repeatedly hear that God has not abandoned them, that He is working for their good amid trying times.

4. They are staying away from political fighting. You won’t find the leaders of these churches on Facebook debating the latest hot button issue. They keep the focus on Christ and His work. Most of the time, their church members follow their lead.

5. They are re-evaluating their staffing structure. Churches are in the early stages of massive staff re-alignments. The healthy churches have leaders who understand a movement is underway. They want to grasp it fully so they can be ready to make the right changes. Stay tuned for my article next week. I will unpack this issue more thoroughly.

6. They are seeking to adopt or foster churches. These churches are actively seeking to help other churches. Sometimes the type of help is providing resources and people for a season. We call that church fostering. On other occasions, these churches will formally adopt a church into their family and make them a campus of their church.

7. They are redoubling their efforts on welcome ministries. The leaders of these churches recognize that many members and guests are returning to in-person church services with some trepidation and uncertainty. They understand that those who greet them as they arrive are more important than ever.

8. They are giving focused attention to their groups and small group structure. A church with healthy groups is more likely to be healthier in evangelism, ministry, assimilation, and stewardship. The importance of groups in the health of the church has only grown during the pandemic.

9. They are raising the bar of expectations. This move seems counterintuitive. If people are becoming less committed to the church, why not accommodate their low commitment? To the contrary, the healthy churches see the pandemic as an opportunity to raise the bar of expectations in a low-expectation culture.

10. They are being friends to their communities. While the communities in which they live may not be friendly to Christian values, these churches see a great opportunity to show the love of Christ anyway. We are hearing some great stories about how some churches are winning their communities over.

11. They are creating mini-prayer groups. The leaders of these churches are not overly concerned about creating large prayer gatherings. While it is great if many church members come together for prayer, the leaders celebrate even when a few members gather to pray corporately. They understand that mighty prayer can come from a small number.

12. They are persistent. Frustration and confusion are real to these church leaders just like any other leaders during these trying times. But the leaders of these churches simply don’t give up. They really sense that God will see them through the uncertainty and confusion. They may not understand what is taking place, but they know that God has it under control

I fully expect we will hear some incredible stories of churches around the world in the months ahead. These churches will be living witnesses that God is stronger and greater than any COVID power.

I pray your church will be one of those churches.

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Three Things to Remember When Communicating about Money

Offering moments in a worship service can be one of the most awkward moments of a worship service. Unless you’re a gifted communicator who has a knack of asking people to give, the moment can feel rushed or sometimes routine to the point where it has little impact on the person sitting in the room. t

However, it doesn’t have to be this way. Often the disconnect that happens during these offering moments is driven by a lack of clarity of what someone in the pew is actually giving to. It’s not that people don’t want to give, it’s that they don’t have a clear understanding of where the money is going and how the church will spend it. 

This confusion can be cleared up by remembering three key things when you’re communicating about money to your congregation. Here they are:

Use Specific Examples 

If you’ve done any research on millennials, you know that they are a “cause” oriented generation. This means that they will naturally be drawn to giving to causes over giving to an institution like the church. So how do you combat that? You use specific examples. 

Specific examples allow those who give to paint a mental picture of where the money is being spent and give a sense of transparency for how the money is being spent. For example instead of saying “When you give you help fund our missions efforts,” you would say “When you give, you help fund our missionary families located in South Africa.” Yes, it’s a small subtle difference, but by providing examples, you provide clarity for your audience.

Provide Physical Context

You often hear pastors using phrasing like “expanding the Kingdom” or “in the reach of our ministry” when talking about giving. While those statements are true, they pose two problems. First, that language requires a certain understanding of ministry jargon. Second, that language can be seen as vague and abstract. 

While the first problem can be solved with teaching, the second problem is solved by giving physical examples of what it looks like. So if “expanding the Kingdom” really means building a new educational wing, then lead with that physical example. Don’t cloud your offertory moments with language that will leave your audience with more questions. 

Provide Spiritual Context

Finally, while specific examples can help provide clarity to your audience, providing a spiritual context to their giving can help solidify your communications about money. By “spiritual context,” we’re referring to the impact that those dollars can have for the kingdom. 

Using the previous example, you say something like “Did you know that last year, over 40 people came to know Christ through our mission partners in South Sudan?” By providing a spiritual context to the giving you add even more impact to your giving request.

Once you establish a spiritual context you can more easily move from a position of telling people what they are “giving to” and move them into a conversation about what they are “giving from.” 

Talking about money in a worship service is not an easy task, but if you have a clear understanding of what you are asking people to give to, the more likely they are to find ways to give from, which will turn them into more regular givers.

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The Frustrating Paradox of Serving with an Amiable Autocrat

It’s possible to be a pleasant tyrant.

Nice dictators exist, at least in the leadership sense. I refer to these types of leaders in the church as amiable autocrats. Friendly church dictators rule from their positional authority. They order everyone around because their title enables them to do so, and they do it with a smile.

Amiable autocrats are typically well-liked by the general congregation, but their teams are miserable. These church leaders genuinely like other people but enjoy telling them what to do even more. They enjoy bossing others, and they assume that their direct reports like it that way as well.

What does an amiable autocrat look like? Here are a few characteristics:

They have a complete lack of self-awareness. They lead from their friendliness, and they think their relationships are enough to warrant their commands. They avoid conflict at all costs or anything else that may affect their friendly image.

They project their weaknesses on others. Have you ever been reviewed by a superior only to think that she reviewed herself and gave you her score? Amiable autocrats frustrate direct reports by seeing their own faults in others.

They are liked by outsiders, but they irritate insiders. People who report to friendly dictators typically do not despise their bosses. But these followers do feel trapped and irritated. For example, a congregation may have no clue about the leadership style of their pastor, and the direct reports cannot address the issue with the leader because he’s not self-aware enough to realize his problems.

They’ve stolen credit from others for so long that it’s a natural process for them. They don’t even know they’re doing it anymore. They insist on relaying all the good news to the congregation; they also figure out ways to have others communicate bad news.

They are optimistic about the wrong things. Friendly dictators are rarely negative, but they praise the wrong metrics. They pick the wrong team leaders. They promote the wrong people. They get the congregation fired up about the wrong vision.

They micro-manage irrelevant details. Amiable autocrats waste hours of staff meetings discussing irrelevant topics and details. They’re more concerned with things like service order than with things like the discipleship process. They will dictate instructions on the minutia and neglect the bigger picture.

Reporting to an amiable autocrat is far better than serving under an abusive tyrant. Frankly, the charisma of a friendly dictator can often grow churches. But serving with such a leader is a frustrating paradox of seeing good ministry happen while at the same time not being able to speak into any improvements for the future.

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