Thom S. Rainer's Blog, page 45

A Five-Tool Bible to Order and Enrich Your Bible-reading Experience

A new Bible to be released in September is the result of both a sense of mission and a bit of frustration by Bible teacher Iva May.

As she tells it, Iva was frustrated because she had difficulty discovering the connections between the books of the Bible, along with their contexts. She wondered if there was a different way to arrange the content that would allow her to see the connective tissue of God’s grand story in the Bible.

Iva explains: “Imagine trying to assemble a puzzle without the picture on the box, with the straight-edge pieces and corner pieces missing. You’d be frustrated. That’s how I felt for more than 20 years reading my Bible. I had a bunch of little Bible pieces before me, but I didn’t understand how they were connected.”

Iva began developing new resources as she was discipling women in several small groups. She took a seminary course—Chronological Bible Storying—that trained students in the methodology employed by missionaries who worked with primarily oral learners. Iva recognized that most Americans are post-literate, secondarily oral learners who can read but who would rather get their information from media. She was also convicted that without a meta-story, an overarching narrative that makes sense of self and the world, Christians would be prone to follow a lesser story written by a godless culture.

Iva adapted what she learned in the course for her discipleship groups and started using her materials in 2002. These experiences and her view of the importance of new resources for Bible learning led Iva to begin the Chronological Bible Teaching (CBT) ministry. The One Year Chronological Study Bible,  published with Tyndale, was developed out of that ministry.

The One Year Chronological Study Bible is so versatile we call it the “five-tool” Bible: a truly unique combination of tools to transform your reading and study.

It’s a one-year Bible, so it comes with the expected promise that if you read each day’s selection, you’ll complete the entire Bible in just one year.This chronological Bible tells the story of God like you’d expect a story to be told—in the order the events took place.There is study content included with each daily reading, providing regular opportunities for insight and reflection.The historical context is explained through a clear framework of 14 Eras, along with a series of helpful articles, charts, and maps.With the clear and accurate New Living Translation, The One Year Chronological Study Bible presents the Bible story in a way that can be understood and applied.

More information on this Bible’s features:

Chronological Framework:  This unique Bible framework provides a simple structure that builds the story, with each era encapsulating a passage of time. Graphics representing each era capture the big-picture action within that era. The storyline becomes clear as readers connect God’s speaking—His promises, commands, warnings, and prohibitions—to His activity. You’ll find these graphics at the bottom of most pages in the Bible, with the pertinent icon highlighted within each particular section of Scripture.

Discover the Story: Fourteen era overviews capture the story narrated within each era and help readers see the story arc of the Bible.

Daily Introduction: A brief introduction for each day’s reading provides a snapshot of the developing story.

Discovery Questions: Each day’s reading concludes with a set of thought-provoking questions that aid readers in retention, application, and drawing connections throughout the story.

Understand the Story: Sixteen articles address particular themes and track God’s activity through the story. Each article connects God’s activity from one era to both past and future eras.

Era Highlights: Presenting an overview of the story arc of the Bible in summary fashion, the era highlights provide a list of facts for each era and are an excellent tool for helping readers with retention.

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What Happens When Pastors Are Transparent Instead of Being Secretive?

Most scholars and experts claim transparency is necessary for good leadership. Many books on leadership have sections and chapters devoted to the issue of transparency. Unless you work for an organization like the CIA, transparency is often among the top characteristics requested of leaders. Of course, even organizations built on the foundation of secrecy have gotten into trouble for lack of transparency.

Transparency is a healthy leadership characteristic. But why? In the context of a local church, what does a transparent pastor encourage, as opposed to one who is not? What do transparent leaders gain, and what do secretive leaders lose?

Transparent leaders encourage generosity, while secretive leaders raise unnecessary financial questions. When your church knows how the money is spent, givers are inclined to be more generous. Good stewardship does not mean the church has to be austere. But good stewards are always transparent.

Transparent leaders encourage the church to take risks, while secretive leaders make people afraid to fail. Obviously, leaders want to avoid failure as much as possible. And failure due to sin is always wrong. However, if your team never fails, then it means no one is doing anything. Worse still, hiding failures will erode the strength of a church and ultimately cause a collapse. When you are transparent, and your team is transparent with you, you build a culture where it’s okay to fail. Attempting great things means having a few failures along the way. Transparent pastors give their staff and ministry leaders room to fail and get stronger.

Transparent leaders encourage levity, while secretive leaders create channels of gossip and rumors. When you can be yourself, you laugh more. When everyone in a ministry is transparent about who they are, a culture of levity is created. Conversely, secrets are a fuel source for gossip. A lack of transparency stimulates the rumor mill. A ministry team that laughs together will often do more for the gospel. Besides, it’s awkward being the one person laughing in a room full of empty stares. So laugh more together.

Transparent leaders encourage accountability, while secretive leaders breed a culture of distrust. Openness facilitates accountability. Secrecy raises suspicions. True transparency inevitably leads to accountability. Transparent church leaders gravitate towards tighter systems of accountability. Those who suppress the truth typically want to stretch the truth.

What is the difference between confidentiality and secrecy? Confidentiality serves and protects another person or a group of people. Secrecy is a way to protect yourself. Keeping confidence is selfless. Secrecy is selfish. You have much to gain with transparency and much to lose with secrecy.

 

Rainer on leadership recently covered this topic in a podcast episode. For a more detailed conversation about leadership transparency, listen here .

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10 Simple Strategies that Have Helped Me as a Church Leader

Are you still learning how to be a leader? I am still learning myself, and I’m grateful for what I’ve learned from others. Here are some of those simple strategies: 

1. Learn names. Knowing someone’s name says, “I know who you are, and you matter to me.” This is one reason, by the way, I have (though I admit that not everyone agreed with me . . . ).

2. Pray immediately. If someone asks me to pray for them, I try my best to do it right then. I’m too forgetful and too busy to remember to do it later. At the same time, folks who ask for prayer have the need on their mind right then—so why not pray?

3. Put my phone down in meetings. I admit that I’m still working on this one, even though I’ve written about it in the past. I have to be honest, though, in recognizing that fiddling with my phone during a meeting is the equivalent of ignoring the other people in the room. I’m trying . . .

4. Land the plane well when I’m teaching and preaching. By well, I mean, “Land on time, and make sure my listeners know what to do next after the landing.” Circling the airport when we teach or preach causes listeners to tune us out before we’re finished.

5. Write some kind of SHORT note, blog, encouragement, website post, etc. each week. This blog is my means for doing this. You might have other opportunities, but here’s my point: any writing that pushes us to be clear and concise can only help us in our communication as a leader.

6. Use my 10-minute “break times” throughout the day to be with God on behalf of His people. If I pray for my church family 2-3 times a day even for ten minutes, I can give a lot of attention to their needs. This simple strategy has been really helpful to me.

7. Take a walk. One of my favorite books is Michael Card’s The Walk, which is the story of his discipleship relationship with his New Testament professor, Bill Lane. Lane often walked across campus with a student—sometimes talking, sometimes just walking—and God used those times to draw them to Him. I’ve found that even a brief walk around our campus at Southeastern Seminary can rejuvenate my spirit to press on through the day.

8. Have a meal (for me, generally breakfast or lunch) with someone at least once a week. I’m an introvert, but a former colleague challenged me with this assignment years ago. I’m glad he did, as I’ve had multiple opportunities for “iron sharpening iron” experiences across the table.

9. Use question marks (??) more than exclamation points (!!) in conversation. Sometimes, exclamation points are in order as we lead people – but we’ll move conversations forward more by asking questions first and then listening. We’ll know our church members better if we ask them more questions about their lives.

10. Assume the best. This is not my tendency. I often read more into situations and silences than is accurate – and I’ve paid the price of unnecessarily bearing internal anguish. As I’m learning to assume the best first, I’ve found more peace even when my “best” assumption later proves wrong.

What simple strategies have you learned? Help us learn with you.

 

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Top Ten Post-Pandemic Reasons Guests Do Not Return to Your Church

In a recent conversation with a pastor I admire greatly, he commented, “We love seeing first-time guests, but we really love seeing second-time guests. We know those folks are serious about connecting with our church.”

The conversation leads to an obvious question. How do we get first-time guests to return? Have the answers to this question changed since the COVID pandemic? In our conversations with people visiting churches, the reasons guests don’t return remain the same. Here are the top ten reasons from guests before the pandemic. While a lot has changed, some things stay the same. 

1. “I will not return to a church that has a stand-and-greet time.” We heard from over 1,000 guests, and 90 percent of them gave us this response. If you are thinking about bringing back this activity to your worship service, think again.

2. “The people are unfriendly.” Most church members think their church is friendly because the members are friendly to each other. Many guests felt like they were treated like unwanted outsiders.

3. “I could not leave my child in the children’s area. It was filthy and unsafe.” This concern has grown since the pandemic.

4. “I could not find any information on the church.” Even though most of these guests visited the website, they were still looking for an information center or persons to give them more information.

5. “The church website was terrible (or did not exist).” This issue is more of a first-time guest issue than a second-time guest issue, especially in the post-pandemic world. For most guests, if you have an inadequate website, your church does not exist.

6. “The signage was terrible.” The primary complaints were about inadequate parking signage and directions to the entry of the church.

7. “I heard a lot of insider language in the worship service.” Please avoid acronyms.

8. “The service was boring, and I did not understand what was happening.” Guests have choices. They will not choose a boring church. The first-time guest will not become the second-time guest.

9. “Someone told me I was in their seat.” Yes, it still happens.

10. “The church facilities were messy and dirty.” A lack of attention to the facilities communicates loudly that the church does not care.

Though the rankings of the reasons may have changed slightly since the pandemic, the reasons have not. And any church should be able to find ways to overcome these challenges.

Let me hear from you. What do you think about these ten reasons?

 

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How Not to Waste Everyone’s Time with Snooze Fest Church Meetings

I’ve been there. Maybe you have too. A discussion about a $100 expense swirls around the committee for thirty minutes. Someone believes they can save ten percent. You work hard to hold back the desire to slap a ten-dollar bill on the table.

When meetings turn sour, everyone gets agitated. These meetings keep you on the edge of your seat. But it’s more likely a church meeting will drone on. So how can these meetings be less of a snooze fest and more engaging and valuable?

No matter what your polity, every church will need meetings. Some are virtual. Some are in person. But it’s difficult to operate without some form of a meeting. There are formal meetings with committees, chairs, and Robert’s Rules of Order. Others are more informal with teams and gatekeepers. Regardless of the level of formality, every church will have groups of people who need to meet.

Not every meeting needs to begin with a 10-minute devotional. And nobody wants corn hole and ice breakers. What’s the balance between obligatory piety and church cheesiness?

Make your meetings future-oriented rather than reactive to past issues. Most meetings should be proactive, not reactive. Go back and review your previous agendas to see what drives the meeting. Are you using the time in a reactive way, responding to issues that have surfaced since the previous meeting? Is the agenda filled with what others have brought you or what you want to bring others? The most engaging and useful meetings are oriented toward the future. Meetings devolve when you use them to respond to things in the past.

Make your meetings about complex decisions, not simple ones. Easy decisions do not need to be collaborative. If there is only one option, then there is no reason to discuss it. Simple decisions can be made offline and should not require the gathering of the minds. Church meetings should be used for challenging decisions. Use the group setting to build support for the more complicated issues.

Make your meetings more action-oriented and less discussion-based. There are times to meet and talk, but a series of all-talk meetings wastes time. Do you use the meeting to delegate work, or do people leave with few action items? Some meetings need to be informative. But leaders should use these opportunities to assign critical tasks.

Make your meetings more about collaboration and less about debate. You can lose the room when meeting after meeting is a debate. The loudest voices tend to dominate debate meetings. Collaboration requires people to listen to each other. The more people listen, the more they are engaged with each other.

As you structure a meeting, consider what I’ll call the 10-30-10 Rule .

Keep your meetings to a maximum of 50 minutes.Use the first 10 minutes to pray, catch up on personal items, and enjoy fellowship.Spend 30 minutes on getting the agenda items accomplished. Always send an agenda ahead of time and stick with it. When someone wants to veer away, keep them on task.The last 10 minutes should be spent on Q&A, reviewing assigned tasks, and ensuring everyone understands the path forward.

I was once held hostage in a meeting about official holidays for the church staff. The debate lasted for a couple of hours. Nobody could come to terms with what days in the year needed to be recognized by the church. Out of boredom, someone started reading the personnel manual. The recognized holidays were already there and approved by the previous committee.

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Is America More Religious Than Popular Opinion Indicates?

Christianity in America is dying! The anti-Christian culture is taking over! The unchurched “Nones” doubled in 15 years!

Those headlines and others have screamed at us for years. Indeed, we at Church Answers have been among those lamenting the trends.

But what if we are wrong? What if we are basing our church strategies on inaccurate and flawed research? What if religion in general and Christianity, in particular, are healthier than we perceive?

The New Research

I have faint hopes that new research will get much attention, at least initially. Most church leaders and members deal with the headlines, not the new study’s details and data. I was, therefore, shocked to read a recent article in the Wall Street Journal that questions the core of many of our assumptions (“Religion Is Dying? Don’t Believe It” by Byron R. Johnson and Jeff Levin, July 28, 2022).

Read this quote from the article: “Reports of religion’s decline in America have been exaggerated . . . These conclusions are based on analyses that are so flawed as to be close to worthless.”

Wow.

The two authors, along with Matt Bradshaw and Rodney Stark, provide some fascinating, if not convincing, research that suggests religious institutions, particularly inclusive of Christian congregations, are thriving.

What Are We Getting Wrong?

If their research is indeed valid, why are the popular headlines about the demise and decline of Christianity in America wrong? Here are five observations:

1. There are lot more churches in America that are largely unknown and unmeasured. Their research finds nearly 500,000 churches in America, but the U. S. Religious Census data only reports 344,893 churches. We could be undercounting over 40% of all churches! The authors cite follow-up research in three U. S. counties where the U. S. Religious Census missed between 26% and 40% of the churches. Many of these churches are smaller. Others missed include evangelical, nondenominational churches, Latino congregations, and African American churches.

2. The “Nones” may not be none after all. There has been much ado about the longitudinal research on the Nones, those with no religious affiliation. The proportion of Nones in the United States has doubled from 15% to 30% from 2007 to 2021. When the researchers followed up, they concluded that the increase might not be accurate. Many Nones responded to the survey thinking “none of the above” since the choices given did not match their current religious beliefs or church affiliation. But they did not consider themselves unaffiliated with any religion.

3. We researchers tend to count where we can find the churches to be counted. In other words, we don’t count all congregations and Christians because we don’t know about them. We count denominational and nondenominational churches with a website, but we miss many churches. This quote from the article is prescient: “More Americans attend and support more religious organizations than ever before. Social scientists can’t count unless they know where to look.”

4. We researchers tend to extrapolate the problems of the churches we know to all other churches. Southern Baptists congregations are declining rapidly. United Methodist churches are both declining and leaving the denomination. Nondenominational churches, similar to our denominational databases, have rapidly declining attendance frequency. These statements are all factual and accurate. But the research likely does not have the eyes to see other churches that have never been measured, recognized, or reported.

5. There is no consistency in studying and reporting on churches with more than one location. This oversight expands beyond the multisite movement with which we have familiarity. For example, I recently heard from a pastor whose church has many locations, most of which are either homes or rented facilities. He said no one has ever asked him about the weekly worship attendance (about 400) of the multiple congregations or the number of places they meet (14).

What Then Is Next?

Without further prayer and work, I do not want to embrace this new research. But I do not want to deny that I, and many others, could be missing a significant part of church and Christian life in America. The implications of this research are massive, and I cannot simply act like the data does not exist.

Yes, churches in America are sick. But those churches may essentially be congregations we can locate and measure. If the research of Johnson, Levin, Bradshaw, and Stark is close to being accurate, we could discover tens of thousands of healthy congregations.

And if that is the case, we can learn a lot from them.

Being wrong does not excite me.

Learning how God works in heretofore unknown congregations and paradigms does.

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Seizing Back To School Gospel Moments

It has already started. Emails from school districts, school supply lists at your local Walmart and Target, shiny new shoes, and lunch box and thermos kits. The hustle and bustle of back-to-school season is underway and with its arrival there can be a flood of excitement and anxiety whether it’s the first day of preschool or the last ‘first’ day of grad school. 

Wherever you may fall on the spectrum of back-to-school emotions, one thing I want to highlight is how much opportunity we have to show, be, and invite people into a relationship with Jesus.

Dr.Rainer has spoken recently of the church’s steep decline in evangelism and although it has been hard words for the church and her leaders to hear, it gives new clarity and insight into how we can take the everyday opportunities that are right in front of us to lead the way in sharing the Gospel with others.

As a ministry leader, August brings all kinds of new faces through the doors of our churches, schools, and workplaces and we get to be tangible expressions of God’s love and comfort for people who are walking through change, grief, and maybe even fighting the feeling of isolation.

As we look to kicking off the fall semester I wanted to give a few key points for you as you seek to be the hands and feet of Jesus this school year.

Seek Out The New Kid/Mom
When my husband and I did student ministry we always challenged our students to find the new kid on the first day of school. They were usually easy to spot. They were the ones that walked a little slower, were trying to take in all of the signs and directional cues from staff, and most often they were the ones looking overwhelmed in the lunchroom. Or it’s the mom that is asking all the questions at schedule pick up and posting on the neighborhood Facebook page.

Walking into a new place, whether that is a church or a school, can be incredibly intimidating for a new person, and what can help ease those moments are people who are intentionally looking out for them to come alongside.  

This takes intentionality and sacrifice, but it is a great way to start a new relationship.

The Power of an Invite
A survey by Action for Children reported that 24% of parents surveyed said they were always or often lonely. I’m sure you can think of moments in your life where you felt the sting of loneliness. Statistics are still being calculated and tallied on the effects of what the Covid-19 pandemic has done in terms of mental health, but one of the consistent data points is how loneliness has touched every generation.

An invite isn’t a catch-all-cure to the loneliness epidemic, but it is a small and tangible way to push back the lies that many are hearing and experiencing right now. Invite them into your home for a cup of coffee, to get ice cream after school, or to your next small group or women’s get together.

A simple “I’d love for you to come with me” says to the other person, “I see you. I value you. I want to get to know you more.”

In a world of people who feel unwanted, what an easy way to spark some light into someone’s soul.

Be A Listening Ear

One of the most undervalued resources we have is our time. When we give of our time to really sit and listen to someone’s story we open up an opportunity to show them what it means to be known and met with compassion, grace, and empathy. 

Ask about their story and what brought them to your community.Listen for needs, fears, and similarities in experiences.Share some of your own fears and struggles and point them to Jesus. Follow up after your time together with encouragement, check in’s, and more invites.

I’m praying for you and all the new faces that you will encounter in the school pick up lines, at athletic events, and in Sunday morning lobby chats. I truly believe we are in a moment where so many are searching and hungering for answers to some of life’s deepest aches, and we have the privilege of being used by God to watch His story of redemption unfold in their lives. 

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Six Questions to Discern Toxic Conflict vs. Healthy Conflict

Few people desire to live in a perpetual state of conflict. A constant battle is exhausting. Continual tension can lead to major spiritual, emotional, and physical problems. But avoiding conflict is just as unhealthy.

Unfortunately, the label of toxicity is applied too often. For example, criticism is not necessarily toxic, even when it is misguided. The critic becomes toxic only with elevated intensity and repeated frequency. A cantankerous spirit is annoying but not often toxic. Complaining is not synonymous with toxicity. If so, my young children would be the most toxic thing in my life. They are not.

Conflict can be healthy. The greatest art is produced at a point of tension. Innovation occurs when the heat of conflict rises. Accountability is difficult apart from some level of conflict.

Churches tend to have a culture of conflict avoidance or conflict pursuit. Some find a good balance, but many struggle. The personality of the pastor will drive the direction of the church. Firebrand pastors will create high levels of unnecessary conflict. Passive shepherds will hide problems to avoid necessary conflict.

How can you know the difference between conflict that is healthy or toxic? First, consider the source of toxicity. Though toxicity takes many forms, it ultimately derives from one of two places: foolishness or maliciousness. The foolish person does not intend harm but causes it through unwise choices. The malicious person intends to harm and uses it as leverage.

Ask yourself these six questions before making a conclusion about the toxicity of conflict.

1. What is the motivation? Start with your own motives. Do you desire good or harm? If spite is a driver, then you are likely acting in a toxic way. Also, do not assume the motives of others. If you don’t know, then ask them. When we feel conflict, the temptation is to assume the worst. Rarely are these assumptions accurate.

2. What is the goal? One of the best ways to generate constructive conflict is to make your goals clear, concise, and unemotional. I’ve witnessed some intense church business meetings in which the people shouted across the room, and nobody had a clue what each party wanted. I’m not so sure they knew either.

3. Are you talking to people or about them? Gossip is a tell-tale sign of toxicity. Rather than talking about someone to others, go to the person and talk to them.

4. Is friction respectful or combative? Many years ago, I was too forceful with my team in a specific situation. I was in my 20s and leading more experienced and older staff. One of them nicknamed me “Sparky” at a particularly tense moment. Everyone laughed. The moniker became one of endearment. My wife even uses the term to this day. I still despise it. At the time, it was the staff’s way of diffusing the tension while still showing me respect.

5. Are you leading with questions or exclamations? Stop talking over people and ask more questions. Understanding comes through listening, not yelling.

6. Are you able to hang out afterward? One of the best tests of healthy conflict is the ability to hang out after a tense conversation. Toxicity sets in when people cannot be around each other. Healthy conflict helps people see differences without them disregarding each other. 

Conflict is necessary for healthy relationships, especially in the church. Toxic conflict is manipulative, self-absorbed, foolish, and malicious, but healthy conflict seeks to understand and has a clear goal.

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15 Recommended Resources for Equipping Individuals and Churches to Do Evangelism

It’s no secret that many evangelicals struggle with doing evangelism. In fact, many will never share their faith with anybody. Because of Church Answers’ commitment to help churches recommit to evangelism, I’m offering this list of practical resources that may help you and your church re-invest in this task:

The Soul Winner by Charles Spurgeon. This compilation of some of Spurgeon’s lectures and addresses is one of my favorite books on personal evangelism. The language may be a bit archaic, but it’s still funny, convicting, and inspiring – all at the same time. The Master Plan of Evangelism by Robert Coleman. This book is probably more about discipleship than it is evangelism, but it’s a classic. Its author has illustrated its principles by his own life. Invitation to Evangelism by Timothy Beougher. This book reflects an evangelism professor’s study and his practice—and it does so in a way any believer can read, learn, and apply it. It’s also an evangelism toolbox for pastors. The Complete Evangelism Guidebook by Scott Dawson, ed. This work is another toolbox resource, including dozens of short chapters on how to evangelize particular groups of people (e.g., medical workers, agnostics, etc.). The Gospel and Personal Evangelism by Mark Dever. This concise work tackles the what, who, why, and how of evangelism. Becoming a Contagious Christian by Mark Mittelberg. The personal evangelism formula of “High Potency + Close Proximity + Clear Communication = Maximum Impact” makes this book worth reading. Questioning Evangelism by Randy Newman. A good tool to help believers do evangelism by responding to questions with questions, combining theology, methodology, and apologetics – and ultimately pointing to Jesus.  Conspiracy of Kindness by Steve Sjogren. For people who are afraid to do evangelism, perhaps this approach to “servant evangelism” will at least turn their focus outward and get them connected with others. Sharing the Gospel with Ease by Thom Rainer. Another simple, practical resource by Thom, this book promotes an evangelistic lifestyle approach intentionally undergirded by prayer. Tell the Truth by Will Metzger. Without ignoring the importance of theology, this book is filled with suggestions and practices for doing evangelism. You don’t have to agree with all of it to benefit from it.  Evangelism: How the Whole Church Speaks of Jesus by J. Mack Stiles. The subtitle explains why I recommend this book: it speaks primarily not about creating individual evangelists, but about building a culture of evangelism in a church.Sharing Jesus without Freaking Out (2nd ed) by Scott Hildreth and Steven McKinion. This revised version shows us how to do evangelism within the normal contexts of everyday relationships. Even fearful evangelists can do the task. Generational Disciplemaking by George Robinson. Written by a brother who has discipled others for years, this book fills a unique place in this list; that is, it focuses on discipling others so they, too, become reproducing evangelists and disciplemakers. It completes the circle of evangelistic believers who not only lead others to Christ, but who also lead them to bring others to Him.

 

COMING SOON:

“Lord, I’m Caught in the Bubble” by Chuck Lawless. I wrote this brief e-book, soon to be published by Church Answers, to help believers get out of the Christian cocoon. We won’t do evangelism if we don’t really know any non-believers. Recapturing Evangelism by Matt Queen (available Jan 2023). I wrote of this book, “Matt Queen, one of the most passionate evangelists I know, recognizes that believers need a strong biblical and theological base if we expect them to tell the good news. Dr. Queen has provided this excellent resource to address that need.”

 

I know this list could be much longer. What other practical books do you recommend? 

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Ten Incredible Pieces of Advice My Mom and Dad Gave Me

My son, Art, gave me a journal of about 200 pages to complete. Every page asks a question about me and my life. He wants a record of my life in my own writing to give to his sons and then to their children.

Though it will take a few months, I plan to complete the entire journal by hand. I will have it scanned to give to my other sons, Sam and Jess, and my wife, Nellie Jo.

I thought I would share a page I’ve completed. It asks, “What is the best advice you got from your mom and dad?” My parents lived through the Great Depression, and my dad fought in World War II. He saw many horrors, including the deadly beaches of Normandy on D-Day. They were two of the most selfless people I ever knew. Their advice was like golden nuggets to me. Though my words are not likely precise, I can hear each of them today articulating these ten pieces of advice:

Never let your circumstances determine your failures or successes. – DadRead. There is no better exercise for the mind. – MomGenerosity should be second nature to you. – MomLoyalty is a trait that will define your life with joy. – DadUnderstand history well. It will prepare you for the future. – MomSilence is often a good response. – DadLove your children. They are your greatest treasures. – Mom and DadIf you are worried and troubled, take a nap. It will do you wonders. – DadEncouragement is the greatest gift you can give your children. – MomLove the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind. – Mom and Dad

I grieve that neither Mom nor Dad got to see their grandchildren grow up. Dad did not even live long enough to see all his grandchildren born.

But this one thing I know: I will see them again.

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