Thom S. Rainer's Blog, page 40

The Shortcomings of Extroverted Pastors and How to Overcome Them

Both extroverts and introverts can lead well. Both can lead poorly. Personality is only one part of leadership. However, your personality as a leader comes with intrinsic advantages and challenges. The extroverted pastor tends to work a room better than an introvert. The introverted pastor tends to listen better one-on-one. 

Partly because they are more outgoing, I believe extroverted pastors will get the benefit of the doubt—more so than introverted pastors. Many have tackled the subject of how introverts can overcome weaknesses, but I haven’t noticed as much written about extroverted pastors. 

As an extrovert, I’ve noticed some painful shortcomings in my leadership. Perhaps I’m alone in some of these struggles. But maybe some of you can relate. 

Extroverts can talk too much. I process my thoughts by talking to others. Nobody will wonder what I’m thinking because thinking and talking are synonymous for me. Many times, this trait works to my advantage. I can hold a conversation. But talking too much is annoying. Not listening is rude. I’m guilty. Extroverts can bounce too much. I love a room full of people. Bouncing from person to person and conversation to conversation is fun. I enjoy seeing people engage with each other, especially in the church! However, this tendency can come across as superficial, especially when someone needs me to focus deeply on their words. Extroverts can overshare opinions. I have lots of opinions, and I’m glad to share them. However, there is wisdom in restraint. I admire people who don’t feel the urge to share every opinion on every subject. Maybe one day I’ll be more like them. Extroverts can assume every group needs to be large. Every time a group gathers at the church, I want to invite everyone. Usually, this tendency is good. That is, unless the group is designed to be small or confidential. The “come on by” and “the more, the merrier” mentality is not always wise. 

Part of being a better leader is practicing to be a better leader. So I’ve started some exercises to help temper my extroverted nature. 

Literally stop talking. I will challenge myself in my head, “Sam, stop talking. Now.” When I have the urge to say something, I’ll tell myself to wait another minute. Then another minute. Then maybe another minute. After I feel like I’m torturing myself, then it’s usually good to say something. When you feel the urge to move to another person in a crowded room, stay five more minutes in the current conversation. This tactic has helped me dive much deeper into conversations. Don’t look past people. Don’t interrupt their flow of thought with “yes” or “uh huh.” Simply look them in the eye and listen. Ask more questions instead of giving opinions. Short but rich questions allow the other person to expound their thoughts. Questions like “Why do you think that is?” or “How does that make you feel?” help open avenues to better conversations. Seek out the wisdom of introverts. Find the reserved sages in your church and spend a lot of one-on-one time with them. Don’t be afraid to sit in silence with them for extended periods. They will give you incredible insight when they speak. 

Both extroverts and introverts have strengths and weaknesses built into their personalities. Extroverted pastors will have some natural struggles in shepherding their congregations. You can overcome many of these struggles with a few tactics and a little practice.

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Seven Reasons Church Revitalization Begins with Me as a Church Leader

Most churches in North America need revitalization. Our Church Answers team seeks to offer support, encouragement, resources, and conversations to help church leaders move in that direction. At the same time, though, any true revitalization begins with those of us who lead those churches. Here’s why:

1. Even the strongest, most faithful leaders sometimes need renewal. Church work can become tedious and tiresome for even the best leaders. Our spiritual walk can almost inadvertently become stale. Daily renewal through God’s Word and His Spirit is essential if we want to lead churches toward revitalization. 

2. Revitalization is both an individual and a corporate matter. We all realize that churches are made up of people—of individuals and families. We don’t usually think that way about revitalization, however. We somehow assume corporate change will happen without individual change—but it doesn’t happen that way. 

3. Genuine revitalization is a work of God, and that work depends on godly leaders seeking Him personally. We might, in our own efforts, increase the crowd in attendance, but we won’t see genuinely changed churches apart from prayer. What we leaders do in the privacy of our prayer closet really does matter. 

4. Pastors who are weary and discouraged (as so many of them are in tough churches) will struggle leading toward revitalization. They want things to change for the positive, but they often have little energy and hope left to lead very far. Revitalization must begin in their own hearts. 

5. A vision for revitalization begins with leaders. It’s generally the leaders who “see” what the Lord might want to accomplish through a struggling church. Our job is to believe that vision, cast it, and keep pressing forward even when it’s a struggle. If we give up early, others will, too. 

6. Revitalization leaders must be invested where they are. An older, wise doctoral student of mine once told a class of younger leaders, “Too many pastors are trying to pastor three churches: the one they never got over, the one they’re currently pastoring, and the one they want to pastor.” Revitalization, though, begins with leaders whose feet are solidly in their current ministry. 

7. Revitalization leaders must model faith. It may be, in fact, that the pastor is one of the few members who truly believe God is up to something in the church; only he and a few others might be convinced of things not yet seen (Heb 11:1). His persistence and trust will challenge others to see the same. 

So, as a church leader, I ask myself today: 

In what ways do I need renewal personally?Do I daily seek Him and His power for revitalization?Have I allowed discouragement to grip me?Do I have a vision for what God wants to do in the church?Am I invested deeply in my current role?Do I truly believe God can and will revitalize the church?

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The New Ethics Rankings Are Out. Where Do Pastors Stand?

Gallup’s newest ethics survey is out. The results are fascinating. First, let’s look at the overall ranking. The numbers in parentheses depict the percentage of those who rate the ethical standards of the profession as “very high” or “high.” The other categories were “average,” “low,” and “very low.”

1. Nurses (79%)

2. Medical doctors (62%)

3. Pharmacists (58%)

4. High school teachers (53%)

5. Police officers (50%)

6. Accountants (41%)

7. Judges (39%)

8. Clergy (34%)

9. Bankers (26%)

10. Real estate agents (24%)

11. Journalists (23%)

12. Lawyers (22%)

13. Advertising practitioners (17%)

14. Business executives (16%)

15. Car salespeople (12%)

16. Members of Congress (10%)

17. Telemarketers (8%)

Second, let’s try to discern why approximately two-thirds of Americans rate clergy and pastors so low. To try to understand these negative sentiments, I went back to an article I wrote about why non-Christians view Christians negatively*. The comments from non-Christians are insightful. It’s not a perfect analogy to sentiments about pastors, but it helps. Second, I reviewed the comments of our community at Church Answers, almost 2,000 church leaders.

It would seem that the top reasons for negative sentiments toward pastors are:

General negativity about the beliefs of ChristianityChurch sex abuse scandalsSexual moral failures of church leadersNegative presence of church leaders on social mediaEthical failures of pastors dealing with financial issuesPastors who are consistently against something

To be clear, Gallup’s survey is precise and accurate. My six points represent a non-scientific survey of comments from several of our sources.

I would love to hear your thoughts about these ratings.

In the meantime, members of Congress can be grateful for telemarketers.

 

Sources:

Gallup

Church Answers*

Do you want to find out the characteristics and beliefs of your church’s community? Here is a great tool: Know Your Community.

 

 

 

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Seven Ways to Be a Better Servant Leader for Your Church

The best leaders for the church are those who demonstrate a willingness to serve first. Is servant leadership necessary for every situation? No, but pastors and church leaders should have a default posture of service. If you’re not willing to be a servant leader, then you are not fit to have authority and influence within the body of Christ. 

Serve first; lead second. It should be the leadership theme of every pastor. I understand the tension with servant leadership. Serving a church means sacrificing. Putting others first means listening is more important than telling, empathy is more important than progress, and stewardship is more important than accumulation. 

Pastors must take the default posture of being a servant leader. What does this posture look like? I’ll share seven ways you can be a better servant leader for your church.

1. Take the initiative. When you know someone is hurting, reach out. Don’t wait on others to ask for help. Instead, make that extra phone call or visit. Send a text of encouragement when you pray for someone. 

2. Learn to offer genuine apologies. Most people recognize a fake apology the moment it is offered. Sincere apologies are rare. Servant leaders own their mistakes and genuinely say, “I’m sorry.”

3. Do not speak ill of others publicly. The pulpit is not the place to call out someone, and an insult exchange on social media is juvenile. With social media, smears are magnified. The world can potentially see them. Public put-downs are the tools of recalcitrants, not servant leaders.  

4. Seek out real accountability. One of the biggest missing ingredients in church leadership today is a willingness to be held accountable. Servant leaders seek accountability and do not wait for it to be forced upon them. This accountability must come from within the local body. For example, a church governed solely by an outside board only gives the appearance of accountability and does not have a structure that facilitates servant leadership.  

5. Give sacrificially to your church. A key part of serving is giving. If you are sacrificing for a particular people, then you will give sacrificially to the body to which they belong. 

6. Be the first to give up your personal preferences. Pastors are notorious for casting their personal preferences as vision. How many churches have change thrust upon them because of the lead pastor’s desires? Far too many. Listen first. Give up personal preferences. Create a shared vision. Then move the church in that direction together. 

7. Volunteer to do the menial tasks. Pastors and church leaders should carry more plungers and garbage cans. Great purpose and meaning are found in the menial. The highest perspective is often found on the lowest rung. 

The church requires servant leadership. Jesus demands servant leadership. God honors servant leadership. Pastors, let’s practice what we preach.  

 

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Why We Have Been Discouraged from Putting a Stake in the Ground for Smaller Churches

The idiom, “stake in the ground,” has its origins where someone would claim ownership, responsibility, or priority. For example, tent dwellers would put stakes in the ground to pitch their tents. Everything within the stakes was their land or home. Likewise, homesteaders would put stakes in the ground to mark off their newly claimed land.

At Church Answers, we have put a stake in the ground for smaller churches. In no way are we abandoning larger churches; we simply are being intentional about providing resources for smaller churches. That is our stake in the ground. 

When I was CEO of Lifeway, we put several stakes in the ground. For example, we created Lifeway Research so we could help churches and Christians understand trends and directions of congregations and believers. We created the Gospel Project, our stake in the ground for a theologically robust Bible study curriculum. We commissioned a new Bible translation, the Christian Standard Bible, our stake in the ground for a translation that balanced accuracy and readability.

As we have emphasized the importance and resourcing of smaller churches at Church Answers, we have heard from well-intending people that this emphasis is not a good idea. Let me share with you some of the objections. I will then comment with my responses.

“More people are attending larger churches.” Only 8% of American churches have an attendance above 250, but the majority of churchgoers do attend larger churches. So, we understand the objection. But we see a move back to smaller church gatherings. We would rather partner with smaller churches to help them reach more people rather than assume they don’t have the capability to grow.“It’s not good business to focus on smaller churches.” We get it. We would do better financially to put our focus exclusively on larger churches. One person suggested to us we could not stay in business with a smaller church focus. We may be naïve, but we are trusting God instead of a business model. We have already been blessed to have several individuals and churches donate to our sister non-profit organization, Revitalize Network (www.revitalizenetwork.org), to help us provide resources at a much lower cost.“Many smaller churches are barely surviving.” Again, that is a true statement. Instead of surrendering to the inevitability of church closings, we are choosing to do everything in God’s power to help these churches survive and thrive. And if some of these churches are indeed about to die, we seek to be a part of a great church adoption movement.“Smaller churches do not have the resources to train their leaders and equip their laity.” Again, this statement may be a current reality, but why do we have to accept such a hopeless condition as a future reality?  One of the reasons we launched Church Answers University (www.churchanswers.university) was to provide ministry training and theological education that is affordable, attainable, and achievable.

In the near future, I will share with you two more of our stakes in the ground: partnering with global churches and emphasizing personal and church evangelism. 

For now, hear me clearly. There is great hope for smaller churches. In many ways their health will parallel the health of all churches in America.

We believe in the smaller churches. We will partner with local churches. We believe in the leaders of smaller churches.

There is much hope for smaller churches. 

And we believe the best is yet to come.

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Planning a New Year in Ministry To Women

The start of a new year is always an expectant and exciting time to plan and dream for what God has ahead in the coming year. As you look at the 2023 calendar, I’d like to offer a few things to keep in mind as you think through vision, strategy, and planning for your ministry to women.

1. Celebrate the value and contribution of women in your church family. 

Women make up more than 50% of our faith families and are often found serving both inside and outside the church walls. Women often have unique needs that, as church leaders, we have an opportunity to help shepherd and develop them as members. Everything we do for women comes from a heart of wanting to move them closer to Jesus. When we remember that God is working, moving, and using women in their families, workplaces, and communities for His redemptive purposes, we remember the “why” behind the “how.”

2. Evaluate needs and past events, and dream up fresh starts.

You can’t help lead your women if you don’t know where they are or what they need. The beginning of the year is a great time to have intentional conversations to figure out what holes are in your ministry as well as where your women are spiritually, physically, and emotionally. I’ve done this a few different ways:

a. If you have a standing women’s ministry team, use them to have conversations with women in their small groups and areas where they serve to have specific conversations with women in the church.

b. Have a brainstorming session with key women of all ages and life stages over a meal to share what they are hearing and seeing in women of the church and how to increase involvement. 

c. Send a survey out through email and social media. 

d. One other practical way to do this is to have an evaluation form after events throughout the year that help to get feedback after events and studies. 

Through the feedback of your women, you will have the tools and information to see if some of your longstanding events need to be tweaked or maybe even scrapped from the calendar altogether, and you will have a guide to help you envision new ideas.

3. Complement, don’t compete with other ministries and the overall vision of the church. 

Ministry to women is only a part of the overall discipleship structure in your church. It is important to make sure that we aren’t competing with other ministries in the church and finding ways to naturally have them intersect for the overall health of the church. One big way to think through this is how children’s and women’s ministry feed off of one another. For example, my women’s Bible study numbers directly affect how many kids we have in our children’s activities, and so in planning, we make sure that our start and end dates align with both our student and children ministries. One other practice that is helpful when planning is to lay out a weekly calendar of what our members will be asked to commit to. A few well-executed events are better than an overcomplicated and busy calendar.

4. Plan with purpose & intentionality, offering a diverse offering of spiritual formation, community and connection, and opportunities to serve. 

The church’s main purpose is to equip and make disciples. A core tenet of growing disciples is through Bible studies, training, conferences, and discipleship groups to help bring the Word alive. At the same time, if we only spend our time in environments where we are only growing in knowledge, we are missing key elements to our formation. 

Community and connection are some of the key distinctions I see in ministry to women where we are able to help foster multi-generational relationships and offer moments to connect over shared experiences. Finally, opportunities to serve together help to reinforce the mission of the church and are ways women can use their talents and spiritual gifts for the good of others. 

5. Keep all women in mind, especially those outside of your own demographic.

There is a natural tendency to plan around the roles of women being moms and wives, and in doing so, we leave out so many in our churches who are walking through different seasons. As you plan your calendar year, make sure that you are looking through the lens of a teenage student, a single young professional living away from family, and the widow who can’t drive in the dark. As a ministry to women, the goal is to see, meet, and lead all women under our care.

I’m cheering for you as you expectantly serve your women, churches, and communities this upcoming year. I’d love to hear what you are looking forward to most! Leave a comment below or shoot me an email at jacki@churchanswers.com. 

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Fifteen Ways Lead Pastors Can Drive Their Staff Nuts

Lead pastors can have two personas. The congregation knows one. The church staff knows the other. While the goal is to be the same person around everyone, it does not always occur.

Most lead pastors will act differently around the staff they work with for hours each day compared to other congregants they may see in passing once or twice a week. This dichotomy is not necessarily bad. But things go sideways when the lead pastor plays nice with the congregation while poorly leading the staff.

Mistreating church staff places them in the awkward situation of not liking—or worse, detesting—the pastor the church loves. Here are some ways lead pastors can drive their staff nuts.

1. Pretend you know better than everyone else, especially in areas that require specialized knowledge or technical expertise you don’t have.

2. During meetings, don’t take notes and constantly check your phone. Better yet, do all the talking at “team” meetings.

3. Make up your vision as you go. Then, create fires to accomplish this short-sightedness.

4. Design a big, ongoing task for your team. Never mention it again. 

5. Create a bunch of drama over something minor. Call an all-staff meeting to discuss it.

6. Tell the staff one thing. Then tell the church the exact opposite from the pulpit in your worship services.

7. Never discipline anyone and try to be everyone’s best friend.

8. Listen to prominent and influential church members more than your direct reports.

9. Don’t tell anyone when you’ll be on vacation.

10. Tell the congregation, “The buck stops with me.” Then flee from intra-staff conflict. 

11. Create rules for the staff. Make exceptions for yourself.

12. Be more interested in denominational politics than in your local church.

13. Never address the elephant in the room. Instead, pretend it’s not there.

14. Be threatened by others that are more talented than you. To deal with your insecurity, reassign these talented people to ministry areas outside their talent.

15. Begin meetings with passive-aggressive devotionals that are spiritual on the surface but, in reality, are attacks on someone in the room.  

We love pastors at Church Answers, and we work daily to serve them in the best possible way. Most are incredible leaders. But sometimes problems start at the top. This list is extreme, yes, but it’s also helpful to self-evaluate.

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Seven of My Resolutions for the New Year

Many of us adopt “New Year’s resolutions.” I don’t necessarily use that terminology, but I do consider goals I want to set for the new year. I share them with you to help you think about some goals, too—but my primary reason is to ask you to pray for me in this new year. 

1. I will read through the Bible this year. I have done that for years using the same system (check here if you’d like to know what that system is), but I still have to recommit to it each year. 

2. I will memorize at least 25 verses this year. That’s one verse every two weeks. My church, though, has encouraged us to memorize 60 as a congregation, so I’ll meet this goal easily if I do what my pastors have asked.

3. I will grow in loving my wife like Christ loves the church—and ask her if I’m getting there. My pastoral mentor for years set this kind of goal, and I’m following his lead this year. The accountability with my wife herself should teach me much. 

4. I will serve through my church any way I’m needed. I set this goal because I want to be ready to do anything, regardless of what that role is. I’m accustomed to being the preacher/professor, so I’m typically in front of the crowd—but I must be willing to serve gladly even if few people know I’m serving. 

5. I will share the gospel at least once a week. That may sound like a hard goal to meet (and I suspect it will be), but I’m reminded there are many ways to share the good news—personally, electronically, etc. The goal is a response to what God is doing in my life in burdening me deeply for non-believers. 

6. I will pray like Jesus and the early church did. That, too, is a tough goal—but I need that challenge. When I recently wrote the book, The Potential and Power of Prayer, God simply overwhelmed me with my responsibility to pray with more intentionality. I want to make a difference from my knees. 

7. I will develop at least one hobby to help me relax and rest. I work multiple jobs, and I’m always busy—perhaps idolatrously at times. I know I need to leave things at God’s feet and rest more. The hobby I most want to work on this next year is outdoor adventure (camping, rock climbing, hiking, etc.). I want to rest in God’s grace, knowing His work goes on without me when I’m taking a needed break. 

What are your goals/resolutions for this year?  By the way, if you’re interested in “leading from your knees” in 2023, I encourage you to join my Church Answers six-month cohort called “Victory over the Enemy: Leading from Our Knees,” that begins in just a few weeks. We will look together at living and leading victoriously over the enemy.

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Bestselling Bible Translations at the End of 2022

It is a fascinating exercise to see which Bible translations are preferred in the United States. This data comes from the Evangelical Christian Publishers Association, whose methodology is comprehensive and fair.

I am comparing the 2022 end-of-year data with another summary I did in June 2021. In other words, the comparative rankings are 18 months apart. The numbers in parentheses are the rankings as of June 2021.

1. New International Version (NIV) (1)

2. English Standard Version (ESV) (4)

3. New Living Translation (NLT) (3)

4. Christian Standard Bible (CSB) (6)

5. King James Version (KJV) (2)

6. New King James Version (NKJV) (5)

7. Reina Valera (RV) (7)

8. New International Reader’s Version (NIrV) (9)

9. New Revised Standard Version (NRSV) (not ranked)

10. New American Standard Bible (NASB) (not ranked)

No longer in the top ten bestselling translations:

The Message (Message) (8)Nueva Version International (NVI) (10)

 

Observations:

The biggest surprise is the drop in the King James Version from 2nd to 5th.  It is a significant drop in just 18 months. If this ranking becomes normative, it behooves us to do a deeper dive to understand why this translation has fallen from favor for many Bible readers.The biggest beneficiaries of the KJV decline are the English Standard Version, the New Living Translation, and the Christian Standard Bible. All three of those translations are relatively new in the history of English translations.The New International Version remains the best-selling translation. Though we don’t have market share data, we anecdotally surmise that the NIV is losing market share to the next  three translations (ESV, NLT, CSB). There has not become a clear-cut “heir apparent” for the number one ranking if the NIV does indeed lose its place as the best-selling translation. Based on our conversations with church leaders, we could see either the ESV or the NLT taking the top position. Both of these translations have been in the second spot at different months of the year.We were surprised to see the NASB return to the top ten rankings after falling out 18 months ago.Disclosure: Church Answers has a partnership with Tyndale and the NLT. Also, I was the CEO of the company that commissioned the CSB.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this information.

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Five Leadership Resolutions for Your Church in 2023

New Year’s resolutions are often self-focused. It’s understandable. Successful people often reflect on who they are. They try to be more self-aware, and they desire to develop themselves. So, good leaders often make resolutions involving individual goals, desires, and objectives.

But what about the people around you? Good pastors will consider those around them. This year, rather than making resolutions about you, make them about the people around you. Here are five areas to consider in making specific leadership resolutions that benefit your church members this year.

Serve first. Everyone in an organization, from top to bottom, serves the mission. As a leader, you cannot serve the mission without serving others. The best leaders are passionate about a mission, and they are willing to serve others who join them on that mission.

These leaders realize organizational and individual goals cannot be attained with an attitude of “me first.” Leaders who show the way by serving others (as opposed to being self-serving) help create a culture of sacrifice for a mission. Resolve this year to serve the mission by serving your church members and staff.

Simplify work. Many people look for ways to simplify their lives this time of year. But the mantra to simplify lasts about a month before the complexities of life sneak in by Groundhog Day. One of the best gifts a leader can give followers is simplicity. Complexity may dominate your followers’ lives in every way, but you can grant them simplicity in the one area in which you have control. Managers who simplify work for their subordinates often create more work for themselves. Resolve this year to simplify for your followers, even if it means more complexity for you.

Release problems. Some problems are unsolvable. This dilemma becomes a significant hurdle for leaders who have an innate desire to fix everything. Unfortunately, idealistic leaders will often present good solutions to the wrong problems.

Sometimes the “best” solution will not work. In some instances, followers may never grasp the best solution. Let it go. Leaders serve people, not ideals. Resolve this year to release your church members and staff from the burden of idealistic solutions to unsolvable problems.

Yield preferences. Most followers have a keen radar for the personal preferences of a leader, especially when these preferences are spun as vision. Leaders have positional authority over followers, and those in charge have more opportunities to voice opinions and vocalize what they like.

The best pastors find ways to create a collective vision with input from various church members. They do not champion their preferences as the vision for all. Resolve this year to yield your personal preferences and build a collective vision from a variety of followers.

Recognize pride. Humility is the most difficult leadership trait to see in ourselves. The opposite of humility, pride is the most destructive leadership predisposition. Great leaders never stop fighting the battle to recognize pride and remain humble. It’s the quintessential leadership struggle. We stand on a sliding scale somewhere between healthy humility and unhealthy pride.

Even at our best, determining where we are on this scale is tricky. We rarely recognize our pride until it’s too late. Followers often see it long before leaders become self-aware of arrogance.

Great pastors appoint accountability partners at all levels of the church to call attention to potential problems originating in pride. Resolve this year to put measures in place to recognize prideful tendencies and give key people around you permission to call out problems associated with your pride.

Leadership is a gift from followers. Graciously accept this gift by resolving to serve the people around you by putting them first. Make 2023 the year of serving others.

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