Thom S. Rainer's Blog, page 355

Seven Mistakes in Public Speaking

by Chuck Lawless

As a teacher, consultant, and preacher, I talk to groups for a living. In fact, I’ve been a student of public speaking for more than 30 years. I’ve learned by studying in the classroom and by simply listening to others. Too often, I’ve learned the hard way by making my own mistakes.

On a positive note, I have seen that it’s possible to exercise leadership from the public platform. A well-timed, well-delivered address can rally the troops, strengthen the team, and compel them toward excellence. On the other hand, I’ve seen (and exhibited at times, I’m sure) some mistakes in public speaking. Here are a few of those.

1. Not knowing the audience – Speaking to teens is not the same as speaking to senior adults. Communicating with a gathering of relationship-oriented non-Westerners is different than speaking to a group of Western businessmen. Most speakers have some sense of the importance of audience analysis, but understanding analysis and acting on it are two different matters. I’m amazed by the number of speakers I invite to different venues who never ask about the intended audience.

2. Inviting indifference – Maybe you’ve heard speakers do it:

“I’m sure this is not exciting, but it’s important.”
“I really haven’t had much time to prepare, so please bear with me.”
“This really isn’t my area of expertise. I’m sure there are others who are more qualified.”

I understand that humility may be the driving force behind these kinds of statements. Nevertheless, don’t be surprised if the audience is uninterested after you’ve told them you’re unexciting, unprepared, and/or unqualified. Let your hearers make that assessment without your help. They might find you engaging and enlightening.

3. Boring the audience – Here’s the difficult part with this mistake: only once have I ever met a boring speaker who knew he was boring (and he was forced to admit that after he fell asleep during one of his own lectures!). It would not hurt us to have friends who evaluate our speaking and critique us honestly. Good training and increased passion can help overcome a boring style, but not if we fail to recognize the problem in the first place.

4. Using irrelevant stories and illustrations – Much of the world learns best by stories and illustrations, so using stories is a significant communication strategy. Watch an audience when you begin to tell a story or use an illustration; often, they will lean forward, almost as if they are closing the space to hear better. The speaking strategy thus opens the door to effective communication. If, though, the story itself lacks relevance – like using automobile illustrations when speaking to urban poor who never owned a car – the technique loses its force. Again, knowing the audience matters.

5. Assuming audience application – Public speeches have different purposes. Some inform, and others convince. Some simply address a special occasion. Many public speeches, though, are intended to lead the hearer to do something. Support a candidate. Give to a cause. Adopt a belief. Accept a decision. Join the team. Celebrate a victory. Change a lifestyle. The problem is that speakers often fail to state clearly what they want the audience to do. Instead, they assume the hearers will listen intently, naturally connect the dots, and then respond appropriately. A lack of specific instruction from the speaker then results in a lack of intentional application among the hearers.

6. Ignoring time parameters – Seldom are speakers given open-ended time slots for speaking. Most often, we have an established time period that fits neatly into the organization’s overall plans and goals. To ignore those parameters is not only disruptive to the schedule; it is inconsiderate at best, arrogant at worst. Finishing within the allotted time shows respect, and it might even strengthen our speaking by demanding brevity.

7. Neglecting continued improvement – I suspect the more we speak, the less we see a need to improve. Perhaps we subconsciously convince ourselves that practice really does make perfect. There is little question that speaking regularly can make us more comfortable with the task, but actual improvement is not always the result. Growing as a public speaker requires an intentional strategy for improvement.

I realize I’ve included only a few mistakes on this list. What other mistakes have you seen in public speaking? On the flip side, what have you seen that characterizes strong public speaking? Help me to learn from your experiences.

Chuck Lawless currently serves as Professor of Evangelism and Missions and Dean of Graduate Studies at Southeastern Seminary. You can connect with Dr. Lawless on both Twitter and Facebook.

Real Leaders Apologize

For some leaders, apologies seem to come reluctantly if they come at all. Perhaps a mea culpa seems like an indication of weakness. Perhaps the leader’s ego is too fragile to admit that he or she is wrong. Perhaps some leaders really don’t believe they are ever wrong.

There are certain facts upon which most of us can agree. First, all people make mistakes, including leaders. Second, some of those mistakes will rise to the level of needing an apology. Third, a sincere apology is usually received well.

Here are some miscellaneous notes I have gathered as I have observed apologies or lack of apologies by leaders:

Many apologies begin with “If I have offended anyone . . .” That is a non-apology apology. Leaders need not apologize if they don’t know whom they have offended. It’s a cop-out apology.


A good apology states the nature of the offense: “I was wrong when I said you are a jerk.” The apology does not sidestep the issue, but confronts it head-on.


One of the roles of good leaders is to build strong relationships. All leaders mess up relationally at times. The organization needs leaders who are willing to apologize not only to heal a relationship, but for the health of the organization.


Apologies defuse antagonism in the organization. Antagonism can seriously harm the health of the organization.


Apologies should be a part of a leader’s life on both a professional and personal level. It takes both humility and integrity to admit fault and to apologize for it. But most recipients of our apologies are grateful beyond measure that we are willing to do so, whether they or a co-worker, a spouse, or a friend.

Allow me to speak directly on this matter to fellow Christians. I recently spoke with a young man I befriended on a trip. He is not a Christian, but he is a seeker in the true sense of the word. He also seems to be very smart and informed. “Thom,” he began, “I read a lot of interactions among Christians online. I really am interested in learning from them.” He paused for a moment, and continued, “Why is it that you Christians fight so much? Why are you so antagonistic toward each other?”

My purpose in providing that true story is not to tell you how I responded. My greater purpose is to remind ourselves that the world is watching. We will certainly make mistakes and say things we regret. But we can always apologize. If we are wrong, we should always apologize.

Real leaders apologize.

Real Christian leaders apologize.

Top Ten Bible Translations in the United States

The Christian Booksellers Association has published its list of bestselling Bible translations in 2012 for the United States.

2012 – Based on Dollar Sales

New International Version
King James Version
New Living Translation
New King James Version
English Standard Version
Holman Christian Standard Bible
New American Standard Bible
Common English Bible
Reina Valera 1960
The Message

2012 – Based on Unit Sales

New Living Translation
New International Version
King James Version
New King James Version
English Standard Version
Common English Bible
Holman Christian Standard Bible
New American Standard Bible
Reina Valera 1960
New International Readers Version

Are there any surprises to you? How many of these translations have you read?

 

 

Ten Ways Ordinary People Became Good Leaders, part two

On my blog last Wednesday, I looked at seemingly ordinary people who had become good or great leaders despite limitations of intellect or circumstances. Here is how I introduced that blog:

I recently compiled a list of good leaders (a few I would characterize as great leaders) who, by most definitions, are common, ordinary people. They were at the middle of their classes in grades. They really did not and do not have charismatic personalities. They had no family or demographic advantages. And none of them, to my knowledge, were outstanding in extracurricular activities.

But now they are doing very well. It’s as if a switch turned at some point in their lives. They decided that they would no longer be addicted to mediocrity. Instead, they decided they would make a difference. Yet they had few of the innate gifts associated with good or great leaders.

So I wrote down a list of more than twenty characteristics of these men and women. And, somewhat to my surprise, I noted that all them had ten characteristics in common. Though statisticians would argue that I found correlative factors, I really believe that most, if not all, of these characteristics are causative.

These leaders thus had ten common characteristics. The earlier blog post looked at the first five of them. This blog post looks at the last five characteristics of these leaders.

They have genuine humility. These leaders have learned humility the hard way. Growing up, they were well behind their peers academically. Most did not excel at sports or other extracurricular activities. None of them were nominated as “most likely to succeed.” In their early days in the workforce, they found themselves surrounded by more talented and smarter workers. They didn’t have to work at humility; it was thrust upon them.
They seek mentors. Their desire to improve, along with their humility, led them to seek mentors. Most of these mentoring relationships were informal, but they still were intentionally sought. These leaders were unashamed to admit they needed help from an outside perspective, or advice from someone who might be smarter.
They avoid ruts. These leaders would be the first to volunteer for an assignment in a new area. They intentionally avoided getting too comfortable in one area. As they broadened their horizons, they became more effective leaders.
They have a sense of humor. These overachieving leaders always take their work seriously, but they don’t take themselves too seriously. Their humor helps them to avoid stressing out when everything does not go their way. They are thus able to handle difficult situations with calm and poise. Others follow their example, and thus give credence to this happy and placid leadership style.
They are goal setters. At some point, I would love to see a major leadership study done on goal setting. It seems to be directly correlated to strong leadership. These “common” men and women were no different. To the person, you could ask them what their goals have been in life, and what they are now, and receive a quick and cogent answer. They would readily admit they didn’t always achieve their goals. But that was not deemed as failure. The common leaders simply reset their lives with a new set of goals.

There are countless men and women who are wonderful leaders. Among them are a large number who are not the smartest, not the most educated, not the most articulate, and not the most charismatic. That reality should give many of us great hope. We can be good leaders anyway.

Pray for Full Life Assembly of God

Location: Franklin, Tennessee

Pastor: Nick Serban III

Worship Times: 9:00 & 11:00 AM (CST)

Fast Facts: This is a very missions oriented church. They are currently raising funds for mission endeavors in a program they call: Extreme Hope. Pray for direction about expansion/relocation of this growing church. And pray also for healing of many in their congregation suffering with various sicknesses.

Website: www.fulllifeag.com

“Pray for . . .” is the Sunday blog series at ThomRainer.com. We encourage you to pray for these churches noted every Sunday. Please feel free to comment that you are praying as well. If you would like your church to be featured in “Pray for . . .” contact Steve Drake, director of pastoral relations, at Steve.Drake@LifeWay.com.

 

Eight Common Money Questions Asked by Pastors

I have informally counseled hundreds of ministers about financial matters. My background lends itself to such interaction. I have a business degree with a double major in finance and economics. I served as a corporate banker before answering the call to vocational ministry.

In ministry I went to seminary and received two degrees. I served as pastor of four churches, and as dean of a seminary.

My life has consistently been the intersection of business and ministry. Indeed, my current position as president of LifeWay is the perfect example of that intersection.

The purpose of sharing my brief bio is not to brag, but to explain why ministers gravitate toward me on financial matters. Hundreds of ministers have sought my advice. I am humbled and happy to share my knowledge with these servants of God.

Allow me to share in this post some of the more common questions I have been asked. There are probably more than a hundred questions I omitted; these are simply the top eight I have been asked most frequently.

How do I broach the subject of getting an increase in my pay? Pastors and other ministers are typically very sensitive about this issue. They fear asking the question lest they appear lacking in faith or money hungry. The pastor must first determine if his pay is indeed well short of standards for his area and position. We discussed this issue in my previous blog post about pastors’ salaries. I then recommend he find a trusted friend in the church, preferably a leader and a businessperson, who can be both his mentor and guide for broaching this subject. Someone other than the pastor himself should speak to this issue.
Will I be okay for retirement? This question may soon move to number one as boomer pastors approach retirement. Sadly, a number of aging pastors are not prepared for this day. They had this naïve idea that things would just work out. They did not prepare for the inevitable. Often churches did not offer any retirement benefits. Many boomer pastors are getting some sad wake-up calls. I encourage pastors to seek a financial advisor as soon as possible to plan with the few years they have left in fulltime ministry.
How much can I designate as housing allowance? First, I encourage pastors to make certain they meet the IRS requirements to have an allowance. If they do, the housing allowance can be no more than the lowest of these three items: 1. The housing allowance designated by the church; 2. Actual housing expense; and 3. Fair rental value of the home. Guidestone has an excellent FAQ on housing allowances.
How much should I save for retirement? I really like this question, because it means that the pastor understands the nature of retirement. In the past in most vocations, we often depended on “the company” to provide our retirement income through pensions. That has all but disappeared. Today the employee is responsible for his or her own future. It’s great if an employer has a 401(k) or a 403(b) for employees to save toward retirement. It’s even better if the employer offers some type of matching funds. But ultimately, it’s up to the employee, in this case the pastor, to be prepared. Many times that means supplementing employer plans with savings or Individual Retirement Accounts. The question itself is difficult to answer because it involves so many variables. The best answer is “as much as you can as early as you can.” Sometimes the number of 10 to 15 percent of gross income is offered, but that too is a very rough guideline.
Is it okay to accept a small stipend for weddings and funerals? Though there are always exceptions, the general answer is “yes.” The pastor typically has to spend work and time (especially for weddings) beyond his weekly responsibilities. Weddings, with Friday rehearsals and Saturday ceremonies, take a pastor from his family for the entire weekend. One year as a pastor I officiated 40 weekend weddings.
Should a pastor’s salary be clearly shown on every church financial statement? Polity, policy, and tradition determine the response to this question. In most of the churches I served, my salary was not itemized on the financial statements; it was lumped with other salaries. We did, however, have an open book policy that allowed any member to see the salaries if he or she requested.
I can’t pay my bills. What do I do? Find a trusted advisor immediately. Find someone who understands personal finance well. The first thing you will need to do is determine if you have an income or expense problem. An income problem means that you simply do not have sufficient income for someone in your position. An expense problem means that you are managing your finances poorly. Don’t wait to get help. Your emotional health and reputation are at risk.
Is it okay to leave a church for financial reasons? The Bible clearly teaches that we are to manage our household well (1 Timothy 3:4-5). That management includes the financial stewardship we have been entrusted. In that sense, if someone cannot provide for his family, it is likely okay to seek another church. The pastor, however, must first ask himself some tough questions. Am I struggling because of my own mismanagement of money? Am I demonstrating too little faith? Have I shared my plight with any trusted person in the church?

I could add many more questions. What do you think of this list? What would you add?

Friday Is for Freebies: The Gospel According to Jonah and the HCSB Study Bible

This week’s giveaway  includes The Gospel According to Jonah: A New Kind of Obedience Leader Kit by J.D. Greear. This small-group study invites group participants into a world fraught with missteps, disobedience, idolatry, and mistaken “identity.” It’s a world most of us would recognize in our own lives. But in the world of Jonah, we also get more than a foreshadowing of Jesus and a God that pursues us relentlessly. Through this study, individual participants can recognize the “Jonah” in themselves and channel this revelation into a greater passion for asking others into the same assurance. Leader Kit includes a small-group Member Book and DVD featuring a promotional video and six 12- to 18-minute teaching videos. Kit also includes leader helps, preaching aids for pastors, and churchwide campaign implementation plans.

Also included is the black, genuine leather version of the HCSB Study Bible. This Bible has a retail price of $79.99 and features 15,000 study notes, 290 Hebrew and Greek word studies, 66 highly detailed book introductions, 62 maps, 27 topical articles, 20 charts, and 18 illustrations, all focusing on the most important topics and questions in Bible study.

Since this Sunday is St. Patrick’s Day, to be eligible to win answer the following question:

What is your family’s country of origin?

The deadline to enter is midnight this Saturday.  We will draw the winner from the entries on Monday morning.

By entering, you acknowledge and accept the terms of the promotion.

Notable Voices – March 14, 2013

Chris Tomlin, King of the Sing-Along – CNN

This is a fascinating look into the incredible career Chris Tomlin has had leading worship. One statistic I found staggering was that in 2012 Tomlin’s songs were played more than 3 million times in churches.

 

Seven Things to Pray for Your Children – Jon Bloom

All parents should want the best—both spiritually and physically—for their children. And praying for them is a good place to start. Here are seven helpful, specific things to pray for your children.

 

What Is God’s Will for My Life? – David Platt

This is one of the most frequently asked questions of anyone in ministry. David explains that God’s will is not box to check or a criterion to follow; nor is it a road map just waiting to be unearthed somewhere. Instead, it’s a relationship that God wants us to experience with Him every day.

 

6 Tips for Your First Year In a New Ministry Position – Joe Buchanan

In about six weeks, a new crop of students will graduate from Bible colleges and seminaries all over the country. Many will embark on their first full-time pastorate or ministry job. Joe provides six quick tips that will help greatly during that first year.

 

How Kids Learn to Follow Jesus – Seth McBee

Seth describes how mission and discipleship can be integrated into parenting through the head, the hands, and the heart.

Ten Ways Ordinary People Became Good Leaders, part one

The literature on leadership can be discouraging. After reading multiple case studies, theories, and biographies, one can be left with the impression that good leadership is next to impossible. It is limited to those who have the attributes of Superman without the aversion to kryptonite.

I recently compiled a list of good leaders (a few I would characterize as great leaders) who, by most definitions, are common, ordinary people. They were at the middle of their classes in grades. They really did not and do not have charismatic personalities. They had no family or demographic advantages. And none of them, to my knowledge, were outstanding in extracurricular activities.

But now they are doing very well. It’s as if a switch turned on at some point in their lives. They decided that they would no longer be addicted to mediocrity. Instead, they decided they would make a difference. Yet they had few of the innate gifts associated with good or great leaders.

So I wrote down a list of more than twenty characteristics of these men and women. And, somewhat to my surprise, I noted that all of them had ten characteristics in common. Though statisticians would argue that I found correlative factors, I really believe that most, if not all of these characteristics, are causative.

How then do many common people become good or great leaders? Here are the first five characteristics.

They determined that their integrity would be uncompromised. They did not cut corners or cheat. Though others around them were smarter, more forceful, and more creative, they never compromised in their work and lives. They saw their integrity and reputation to be priceless gifts that could not be forfeited.
They worked hard. Often when others around them played or wasted time, these leaders continued to work. If they had an employer, they felt like they were stealing from the company unless they gave their best efforts. If they were self-employed, they knew that other companies would eat them alive if they did not work hard.
They took responsibility for themselves. You will never hear these leaders blaming their employers. You will not hear them complaining because someone else in the organization was recognized or received a promotion. Stated simply, they did not blame others or circumstances. They believed that they lived in a great nation where they had multiple advantages to get ahead.
They were decisive. They learned that slow decision-making was poor leadership. They knew that analysis paralysis could kill an effort. Instead of living in fear of making the wrong decisions, they moved forward just as soon as they had sufficient information, not complete information. They saw smart people failing to make prompt decisions because they were enamored with more and more information and data.
They read a lot. While many of their peers spent dozens of hours each week watching meaningless television, these good leaders were reading books, articles, and anything they could to make them a better person and a better leader. Like the impoverished Abraham Lincoln reading books by dim candlelight, these ordinary men and women became extraordinary through their constant and continued learning, regardless of the sacrifice.

Keep in mind that I am looking at common men and women who became good, and even great, leaders. I am not talking about the smartest, the best educated, or the most articulate. These are common men and women who are now extraordinary leaders.

What do you think of these first five characteristics? I’ll finish the article Monday with the last five. Thanks for staying tuned.

Five Leadership Insights from a Firefighter

by Chuck Lawless

My father was a volunteer fireman when I was a boy, and I have vivid memories of his responding to emergencies when the signal sounded. On several Halloweens I dressed as a fireman. In a somewhat odd scene, our family sometimes shared lunch at the scene of a “practice” fire when the fire department burned down dilapidated buildings.

Following in my dad’s firefighting boots, I became a volunteer firefighter in my late 40s. Little did I realize how much I would learn about church leadership by serving with that team of first responders. Here are just a few of those insights.

1. Firefighters recognize the urgency of their role. The signal sounds, the details are given, and the firefighter springs into action. He must be focused on the task at hand, for a distracted firefighter is a dangerous one. In fact, everything else stops until he returns from dealing with the emergency.

I wish that were the case with all church leaders. We have the life-giving message of Christ to proclaim to the world. The signal has already sounded, and we know the details of the emergency—millions die every year without Christ. What would happen if we really recognize the emergency and prioritize evangelism again?

2. Firefighters understand the value of teamwork. From the truck driver to the pump operator to the Rapid Intervention Team (ready at any moment to rescue a fallen firefighter), every firefighter is critical to the team. More importantly, the other firefighters recognize that fact. They are trained to watch each other’s back, seldom if ever facing a raging fire alone. The best firefighters, in fact, are those that are both trained and trusted like brothers.

Church leaders, on the other hand, tend to be lone rangers. Not only are we not trained to be team players, but we also often don’t even trust one another enough to work together. Sometimes we’re simply too arrogant to ask for help. The danger is clear: church leaders who work alone are the most liable to being shot down in the spiritual battle that ministry entails.

3. Firefighters are well trained. Firefighters are required to complete training that includes book knowledge and practical training. Only when the recruit firefighter gives evidence of his ability is he granted permission to be an official firefighter. Even then, he is expected to complete additional practical education courses in order to stay current in his profession. Veteran firefighters walk alongside new firefighters, teaching them even as they together fight a fire.

I am a seminary professor, but training future ministers requires the support of the local church. We can provide head knowledge, but we can’t offer needed practical training apart from a church where praxis occurs under the care of a veteran pastor. Yet, church leaders are seemingly so busy that they have little time for this task.

4. Firefighters love what they do. Firefighters love the exhilaration of tackling and defeating a fire. Actually, they love the fire station, the fire trucks, the fire equipment, the firefighter uniform, their firefighting squad – almost everything associated with their task. They risk their lives every time the signal sounds, but they do so because they believe in what they are doing. They know that lives depend on them.

Perhaps here is where I am most concerned about young church leaders. Young leaders recognize that the North American church is in need of much reformation. We are reaching few non-believers, and church members sometimes live so much like the world that non-believers see the church as irrelevant. Some young leaders view the church in such a negative light that they find themselves trying to change a church they don’t love. That kind of leadership is quickly draining.

5. Firefighters serve proactively. Their role is to respond to fires, but that’s not the entirety of their role. Firefighters also educate the public on fire prevention. They visit local schools to teach children about fire safety. They enforce local codes to prevent open flames. In general, firefighters are always leading proactively so they won’t have fires to put out.

Good church leaders lead that way, too. They cast vision and build teams. They proactively make disciples. They know that if their leadership is only reactionary, the church will not move forward. In fact, they know that kind of leadership is not leadership at all.

Chuck Lawless currently serves as Professor of Evangelism and Missions and Dean of Graduate Studies at Southeastern Seminary. You can connect with Dr. Lawless on both Twitter and Facebook.