Thom S. Rainer's Blog, page 353

Seven Distinguishing Characteristics of Unified Churches

The exercise was simple. I made a list of over 30 of the most unified churches I know. Some of them have been my clients in the past. I then made a list of over 40 fragmented churches (they were easier to find). From that point I began to answer my own questions: What makes this church look like it’s unified? What makes this other church look like it’s fragmented?

I then compared my two columnar lists to find the greatest contrasts between the two groups. When it was all said and done, seven characteristics stood out.

Longer-term pastorates. The average tenure of a pastor in the unified churches was an amazing 8.2 years. The pastoral tenure in the fragmented churches was 2.1 years.
Shorter and less frequent business meetings. Slightly less than half of the unified churches had annual business meetings only. Only two had monthly business meetings. The remainder of the unified churches had quarterly business meetings. All but four of the fragmented churches had monthly business meetings.
Balance of ministries for members and outreach ministries for non-members and non-Christians. While I cannot say that the balance is 50-50, there were certainly more outreach ministries in the unified churches than in the fragmented churches. The latter group of churches focused their ministries on their members.
Celebrate new Christians more. In the unified churches, the greatest joy expressed by members was hearing about people becoming followers of Christ. During one service where 14 new believers were baptized, the excitement was palpable. The fragmented churches tended to celebrate building programs more.
Highly intentional small group or Sunday school ministries. The unified churches exhorted everyone to get into a small group or Sunday school class. The fragmented churches usually had those ministries, but they were not a point of emphasis.
Emphasis on corporate prayer. The unified churches’ members prayed a lot together. The fragmented churches’ members did not.
Most ministries led by laity. Most of the ministries, even the largest and most important, were led by laypersons. To the contrary, the fragmented churches typically insisted that a ministry had to be led by a ministry staff leader.

Of course, I don’t know which of these characteristics were cause or effect. Do you see anything in your church that adds to its unity or fragmentation?

Why Mentoring Matters

By Chuck Lawless

I keep in my desk a Father’s Day card from a student in whom I invested significant time.  That card encourages me to press on when I get tired of the bureaucracy, paperwork, meetings, and tedious tasks that sometimes come with the job of being a seminary dean.  It also reminds me that most churches have not yet figured out how to do discipleship.

Most churches—if they do discipleship at all—still do it programmatically.  That is, they organize a program, teach some classes, and evaluate the program’s success based on numbers attending. The more who attend, the better the program is assumed to be.

To be clear, I am not opposed to programs. Well-designed and well-implemented programs can be an effective step in disciplemaking.  My concern is that programmatic discipleship built solely around small groups and directed studies misses the most obvious New Testament means of disciplemaking: one-to-one mentoring.

Jesus produced disciples by investing first in a group of twelve men, and then more pointedly in a group of three.  He called them to be with Him, taught them, empowered them, prayed before them, sent them out, challenged them, called them to account, and even fixed a meal for them (see Matt 5-7; Mark 3:13-15; Luke 9:1-6, 18, 29;  John 21:9).  They in turn became leaders of the early church.

The Apostle Paul followed Jesus’ model by pouring his life into a few young men.  The best example is Timothy, whose life was never the same after the missionary evangelist called him to join his team (Acts 16:1-3). The young protégé watched Paul minister, surely rejoiced with him when lives were changed, and prayed for him when he was persecuted.  What joy Paul must have felt when he could end his race with the knowledge that Timothy would carry on the work of the gospel (2 Tim 4:1-8).

Why should we make disciples through mentoring?

The approach is biblical.  If Jesus and Paul made disciples through this means, how can we not follow that pattern?  Older men and women teaching the younger generation is not optional for the church (Titus 2:1-8). A commitment to the Word requires a commitment to mentoring.
Christian teaching lived out reinforces the truth of the Word.  The mentee who watches his mentor do personal evangelism is more likely to catch that fire.  A mentor with a godly marriage gives his disciple the invaluable gift of Christian living modeled in the home.  Faith exhibited during times of crisis becomes a challenging example for the disciple to emulate.  Simply stated, it is in the classroom of life that we best see the Word in action.
Mentoring discipleship requires the mentor to guard his life against the Enemy’s attacks.  Committed disciplemakers wear a bull’s eye on their back for Satan. He knows that if he can seriously wound the mentor, the disciples bear the scars of that fall. Knowing that their actions affect a second generation of believers, good disciplemaking mentors stand strong against the Enemy.
A strong disciplemaking relationship provides a safe place to deal with failure.  Confession is good, for it brings our sin out of the Enemy’s darkness into the light—where we can deal with the wrong through repentance and forgiveness.  Most believers, however, have no one to hold them accountable to Christian living. A disciplemaking mentor models holiness, calls his disciples to the same, and holds them accountable to that standard.  Should they fail, he offers forgiveness and encourages them to return to the fight.

This kind of disciplemaking is, of course, costly—and often risky.  Finding the time to invest in others usually means deleting something else from the calendar. Your own sin becomes magnified when others are watching.  The costs of study resources, shared meals, and occasional travel expenses quickly add up. Pastors who mentor may discover that church members accuse them of having “favorites.”

On the other hand, the risk you take might result in a disciple whose faith is potent and whose growth is obvious.  You might have the privilege of watching someone grow far beyond you and be used by God in ways you had never dreamed.  Indeed, you might just find a “son in the faith” (1 Tim 1:2) who remembers you on Father’s Day.

I’ll take that risk any day.

Chuck Lawless currently serves as Professor of Evangelism and Missions and Dean of Graduate Studies at Southeastern Seminary. You can connect with Dr. Lawless on both Twitter and Facebook.

Five Things Church Members Want in a Church Bulletin

When you walk in most church worship services, you are typically handed some printed material. It goes by different names, but the most common and the longest standing name is “bulletin.”

There was a time that you could expect consistency in bulletins among many churches. Such is not the case today. There are differences of opinion and a variety of ideas about what should be in the church bulletin.

Rather than speculate, we conducted an informal survey among church members. We asked one simple and open-ended question: “What do you want in a church bulletin?” The respondents could give as many answers as they liked. There was much agreement on the first four items. Beyond the top four was considerably fragmented opinions.

Here are the top five responses. I list them in order of frequency of response.

Quality. This one issue was a near unanimous response. Church members see the bulletin as a reflection on their church. They are embarrassed when the bulletin has incorrect facts or grammatical errors. They don’t want something in their bulletin to become the next “bulletin blooper.” They want the bulletin to reflect quality, not a gathering place for a collection of ancient clip art.
Sermon notes/outline. Church members want a place to take notes on the sermon, even if the same material is on the projection screen. They want notes they can take home and study. They especially appreciate any helps, such as an outline or references.
Order of service. Frankly, I heard some complaining about this matter. Apparently a number of churches once put the order of their worship services in the bulletin; but they don’t now. Church members miss that in the bulletin and they want it back.
Attendance/stewardship statistics. I thought numbers were being deemphasized in churches. Well, maybe they are, but church members want them back. They want to see the giving patterns and attendance patterns each week.
Announcements. There is a big gap between numbers four and five. If not for its brevity, I could have made this blog about the top four things church members want in a church bulletin. While church members do want some announcements in the church bulletin, they do not want it cluttered with announcements. They prefer for announcements to be on a screen before the services or on the church’s website.

Are you surprised by these top five? What would you add to the list?

Pray for Saddleback Church

Location: Lake Forest, California

Pastor: Rick Warren

Worship Time: 9:00 AM, 11:15 AM, & 6:00 PM. (Pacific Time)

Fast Facts: As many of you know, Pastor Rick Warren and his wife, Kay, suffered the death of their son, Matthew, this week. Today and the days to come will undoubtedly be difficult ones for both the Warrens and the larger Saddleback community. Please pray for the Warrens, Saddleback, and all affected by Matthew’s death.

Website: www.saddleback.com/

“Pray for . . .” is the Sunday blog series at ThomRainer.com. We encourage you to pray for these churches noted every Sunday. Please feel free to comment that you are praying as well. If you would like your church to be featured in “Pray for . . .” contact Steve Drake, director of pastoral relations, at Steve.Drake@LifeWay.com.

Seven Things Pastors’ Wives Wish They Had Been Told Before They Became Pastors’ Wives

I am especially grateful to have the opportunity to hear from pastors’ wives since much of my focus is on pastors. Our recent, informal survey simply asked the open-ended question: “What do you wish you had been told before you became a minister’s wife?”

Thank you to the pastors’ wives who were willing to give us such great feedback. And thanks to Chris Adams for doing the survey and to Amy Jordan for assembling the data.

The responses are in order of frequency. A representative comment follows each response.

I wish someone had told me just to be myself. “I am a people-pleaser by nature, so for me, not being prepared to handle being a pastor’s wife with my personality was a heavy burden to carry early in our ministry.”
I wish someone had prepared me to deal with criticism of my husband and me. “It was hard to deal with negative experiences, conflicts, or criticisms, especially in relation to my husband and our area of ministry. So I would harbor feelings of resentment when it came to ministry and my man.”
I wish someone had reminded me that my husband is human. “I wish someone had told me that my husband could not be God for me. I was disillusioned at first to find out that he indeed is just a man.”
I wish someone had told me that others were watching us (the glass house syndrome). “Even though they are watching us, we don’t need to be controlled by what they expect of us.”
I wish someone had told me there are some really mean people in the church. “I was really surprised. I had to learn not to pay too much attention to them or they would get me down.”
I wish someone had told me how much my husband needs me to build him up. “I need to be his cheerleader. Dealing with critics in the church is difficult. He needs to hear that I respect him now more than ever.”
I wish someone had told me that my schedule will never be normal again. “Your husband will be very busy. Expect that. But come alongside him in the areas of time management and organization.”

One pastor’s wife told us that her role was like getting a job for which she never applied. She wrote this funny script in her response:

Husband: “Honey, I got you a job today.”

Wife: “Really? Okay, but I wasn’t looking for a job. I have plenty to do here running the household and raising the kids. That was our plan, right? Me stay home with the kids so you could fully dedicate yourself to the ministry.”

Husband: “Yeah, yeah. But I really need you take this job for me.”

Wife: “Well, okay, just tell me what to do and when it needs to be done by, and I will do everything I can to make it happen.”

Husband: “Well, right now there are no specific responsibilities. Basically, it’s just doing anything at church that no one else steps up to do or wants to do.”

Wife: “Oh my, that is a tall order. Okay, I’ll do it. I guess we could use the extra money anyway. Things are always tight around here on a pastor’s salary.

Husband: “Well, actually honey, there is no salary . . .”

What do you think of these seven responses? What would you add?

Pastor to Pastor is the Saturday blog series at ThomRainer.com. Pastors and staff, if we can help in any way, contact Steve Drake, our director of pastoral relations, at  Steve.Drake@LifeWay.com . We also welcome contacts from laypersons in churches asking questions about pastors, churches, or the pastor search process.

Friday Is for Freebies: HCSB Study Bible and a $100 LifeWay Gift Card

My giveaway this Friday is the black, genuine leather version of the HCSB Study Bible, a comprehensive, easy to read, and easy to use Bible, with features and formats specifically designed to enhance your Bible study experience. You can also go to MyStudyBible.com and dive right in for a complete digital experience.

This Bible has a retail price of $79.99 and features 15,000 study notes, 290 Hebrew and Greek word studies, 66 highly detailed book introductions, 62 maps, 27 topical articles, 20 charts, and 18 illustrations, all focusing on the most important topics and questions in Bible study.

As an added bonus, I am including a $100.00 gift card to LifeWay Christian Stores

To enter the promotion, tell us what your vocation is and what you would be doing if you were not in your present role? Feel free to elaborate.

The deadline to enter is midnight CDT this Saturday. We will select one winner from the entries on Monday morning.

By entering, you acknowledge and accept the terms of the promotion.

Notable Voices – April 4, 2013

Things to Remember During Unwelcome Work — Trevin Wax

Trevin shares his struggle through a job he had to have instead of a job he wanted to have. As in all seasons of life, he encourages those who may be in an unpleasant job to continually look for God’s blessings.

 

Need a Job? Invent It — Thomas Friedman

In this New York Times editorial, Friedman examines out educational system and the growing need for job creation. Unlike generations before them, Millennials will not simply need to find jobs. They will increasingly need to create them.

 

Planned Parenthood Defends Infanticide — Marty Duren

In just the latest shocking video related to Planned Parenthood, a spokesperson advocates for what she calls “post-birth abortion.” Or as the rest of us would term it: infanticide.

 

3 Lessons Learned from a Pastoral Mentor — Chris Castaldo

Mentoring is important for the development of leaders—including pastors. Chris shares what he learned while being mentored by R. Kent Hughes.

 

Why Most Twenty Somethings are Delusional – Donald Miller

In my book The Millennials, I wrote on the entitlement mentality of the generation. Donald Miller adds to that discussion.

 

The State of the Bible in 2013 — Marc Cortez

A Pastor Is Shot and Killed in the Pulpit: His Widow Speaks

March 8, 2009. It’s hard to believe four years have passed. I was on my way to church when I got the message that a pastor in Illinois had been shot. The next caller informed me that he was dead. But the third caller told me his name: Fred Winters.

Fred was my friend and former student. I had just been with him at a conference in Naples, Florida. Surreal. It all seemed surreal.

But imagine how his wife felt when she found out that her young husband had been shot and killed in the first worship service that morning. No, instead of imagining, hear Cindy Winters’ words directly from her new book, Reflections from the Pit.

Cindy Speaks

March 8th started off like a regular Sunday morning for us.  It was time change Sunday, so when the alarm clock went off, I felt a little more exhausted than usual, but other than that the events in our home were going along like normal.  Fred got up to put the finishing touches on his sermon and I attempted to go back to sleep.  For some reason I couldn’t, so I decided that morning that I would exercise before getting ready for church.  As I went downstairs, I heard a noise coming out of our daughter Alysia’s room.  I opened the door to find her awake, dressed, and perky.  She told me she wanted to go with her dad to the early service and help out in the childcare.  Her perkiness caught me off guard and sending her back to bed seemed a waste, so I said, “Yes.” I went downstairs to exercise and a short time later I heard them say they were leaving.  I had no idea that would be the last time I would hear Fred’s voice, his footsteps…he closed the door for the last time and left.

My younger daughter Cassidy and I headed off to church and as we descended over the hill on the main road in front of the church we saw fire trucks, police cars, and ambulances everywhere.  I couldn’t believe the amount of emergency response vehicles.  In my amazement I told Cassidy that there must have been a car accident at the main entrance of the church.  I was just getting ready to tell her that we should pray, when an ambulance went flying by us.  When it did, I noticed that cars were lined up on the shoulder of the road and in these cars were people I recognized from church.  I was confused as to why these cars weren’t being diverted to the side entrances and gotten off the street.  I was in a line of traffic and as each car inched along, a fire fighter was addressing the cars and telling them what to do.  I was approached by the fire fighter and told that there had been an incident at the church and I needed to pull over; he pointed to a street that ran on the side of the church.  I explained to him that my husband was the pastor and asked if everything was ok, “Ma’am, you need to pull over” was his response.

As I turned on the side street, my cell phone rang.  Calling me was a friend who lived in a completely different part of the state.  She immediately said, “Cindy, Cindy, everything is going to be okay.”  I asked her what she was talking about and after a pause she began praying for me.  As she was praying for me another call came in.  A friend from church and co-worker was calling me, asking if I knew what was going on.  I said that I didn’t, hung up, parked the car and got out.

A car was pulling up behind me and as the lady in the car got out, I asked her if she knew what was going on.   She didn’t answer and started walking towards me.  I looked to the front of the car and two men were walking coming in my direction. The woman said to the men, “She doesn’t know.”  As the three of them surrounded me, their backs were to the church and I got my first good look at the entrance to the church building.  I could tell by the amount of emergency response vehicles pressed up close to the door of the church, that a car accident had not taken place, but something much more serious.

I asked what had happened and they were silent.   I asked again, no response.  I could feel panic and urgency begin to well up within my stomach.  I looked in the face of one of the men standing there.  He was a good friend of ours, someone that Fred and I trusted and respected as a man of integrity.  I directly said to him, “You have to tell me what has happened.”  I will never forget the deep sigh he took and the expression that came over his face before he uttered the words, “Fred’s been shot.”

I was escorted to the hospital down the street.  As soon as I arrived, a helicopter took off and my fear was that Fred had been injured so badly that he had to be airlifted to St. Louis.  We were told that he was still there and I think I took my first breath of relief.

I met with a change nurse and was told that Fred’s injuries were serious.  Even during this conversation, I never once thought that Fred wasn’t going to be okay, actually the opposite was true; I had confidence that everything was going to be fine.  The nurse asked me if I would like to see Fred and of course I said, “Yes” and took that as a good sign.  In just a few minutes I was escorted to his room.

When I entered, I first saw Fred’s feet and thought how strange it was that they were yellow.  The backs of the emergency room staff were facing me and as I saw them I immediately felt a sense of gratitude for all that they were doing to help Fred, so I verbalized that, and as soon as I did, one of the nurses turned around.  She had tears rolling down her cheeks and she said, “I am so sorry for your loss.”  I felt my heart quicken in pace as I asked, “Sorry?” “Yes” she said, “I am so sorry.”  I choked out the words, “You mean he’s dead?”  “Yes, we just called it.”

A Remarkable Story from a Remarkable Lady

Cindy has been a widow for four years now. She has raised her two girls on her own. And though the struggles are ever present, she has the hope of the resurrection of Jesus Christ for Fred and for herself. She will see him again.

It is a remarkable book, a remarkable story, and a remarkable author. I hope you get the book and read it. You will be inspired and reminded of the hope of the resurrection for your own life.

Eight Diagnostic Questions for a Church’s Health

by Chuck Lawless

I am a church consultant who loves helping God’s church. The churches I consult, though, aren’t always as excited, as a church consultation is sometimes like a medical physical—we know we need it, but we don’t like being poked and prodded by an outsider. Nevertheless, a good consultation prods with some important questions. Perhaps these questions will help you analyze your own church.

Is the church’s teaching based on the Bible?  Ultimately, a local church is a group of believers who proclaim, teach, and live out the gospel of Jesus Christ. Where that gospel is not taught, something less than the New Testament church exists. An inherent danger in church consulting is that the consultant will give ideas and suggestions that will, in fact, lead to “church growth”—but the final product will focus more on growing than on being church. We must guard against that possibility by reminding churches of the importance of a biblical foundation, even while we also emphasize evangelism.
Is the church a praying church?  Legitimate church growth is a gift of God, who empowers His followers and draws others unto Himself. Another danger in church consulting is that we will offer solutions that are based on our ingenuity rather than God’s power. For that reason, I want to know that the church is focusing on prayer before, during, and after a consultation. In fact, I expect the church to enlist a prayer team that prays together during the length on the consult. Is your church a praying church?
Is the church driven by a Great Commission focus?  Five times in the New Testament, Jesus expressed some form of the Great Commission (Matt. 28:18-20, Mark 16:15, Luke 24:45-47, John 20:21, Acts 1:8). Apparently, preaching the gospel and making disciples mattered to Jesus—and so these tasks must concern churches today. Many churches have become so inwardly focused that church is more about protecting the status quo than about reaching out beyond themselves.
Is the church reaching non-believers? Here, the possibility of overemphasizing numbers is apparent, but the question must be asked: are non-believers coming to know the Lord through the church’s ministry? If the church is growing, is the growth conversion growth (nonbelievers meeting Christ) or transfer growth (“swapping sheep”)? Transfer growth is sometimes necessary, but it seldom results in Great Commission growth.
Is the church keeping and discipling new believers who join? Suppose a church reached twenty non-believers for Christ in the last year. Did the church see a corresponding increase in attendance? If not, why not? Is the congregation an aging one, and several died within the year? Are longer term members leaving the church as the church changes? Does the church have a poor strategy for discipling new members? Or, more positively, did the church send out a team to begin a church plant? Whatever the cause for the discrepancy between additions and attendance, the church must respond appropriately.
Is the church both locally and globally minded? At the risk of understatement, the world is always bigger than any local church. As many as 1.7 billion people in the world have little access to the gospel. The people groups of the world are now coming to the United States. The Hispanic population in the U.S. continues to grow. Burgeoning populations in the cities cry out for the gospel. Who will reach the unreached if the local church is focused only on itself?
Does the church have a strategic plan for future growth? One reason the Enemy so readily succeeds in attacking churches is because he is often a better planner (Eph. 6:11) than most church leaders are. He methodically and strategically attacks the church while most churches operate from Sunday to Sunday. We are not prepared for his attacks. In the same way, most churches would not be prepared for significant growth if God were to grant it. What would the church do if God sent a genuine awakening? Does the church have a vision around which their plans—including facility, staffing, and programming—are developed?
Are the leaders committed to the ministry of the church? By far, the most common problem we see in unhealthy churches is poor or unfocused leadership. Leaders who are not committed to a long tenure at a church seldom lead a church to lasting growth.

These questions are just a beginning, but every diagnosis must start somewhere. If these questions show areas of weakness in your church, though, don’t lose heart. Honest diagnosis is the first step toward prescription and better health.

Chuck Lawless currently serves as Professor of Evangelism and Missions and Dean of Graduate Studies at Southeastern Seminary. You can connect with Dr. Lawless on both Twitter and Facebook.

Um, Uh, and You Know: Killer Fillers in Public Speaking

I wish I could say I didn’t do it. I have spoken in a few thousand venues as a public speaker. You would think I could avoid them. I’m better than I used to be, but you are still likely to hear them when I speak.

“Thank you, uh, for the opportunity to speak today, I, um, am excited and passionate about this, uh, topic.” Arrrgghhhh!

They are called “fillers.” They are incidental sounds or words that we should not use when we speak. They distract. They cause the audience to lose confidence in the speaker. They indicate that the speaker is not well prepared.

I listened in person and via podcast to about 25 speakers the past three weeks. I was intentionally listening for these killer fillers. When it was all said and done, six fillers emerged as the most common. They are, in order:

Uh. This non-word is a transition word that can indicate nervousness or lack of preparation. The speaker is trying to get to his or her next thought, but needs a bridge to get there. Some novice speakers use “uh” more than any word.
You know. No we don’t; that’s why you are telling us. The speaker is seeking confirmation from the audience through this bridge word. If you note, he or she is usually looking right at the audience when these throwaway words are used. The speaker hopes to get at least the nod of a head for something other than sleep.
Um. This non-word is a variance of “uh.” Surprisingly, it is more likely to be used by a more experienced speaker. Novices like “uh.” Seasoned speakers prefer “um.” So you are likely to hear an inexperienced bad presentation with “uh” or an experienced bad presentation with “um.”
Et cetera. This one drives me crazy. The speaker is implying that he or she has a lot more to say, but the listeners will never know what it is. The real problem is that the speaker does not know how to land the presentation. If you hear someone say “et cetera,” you are likely to hear a speaker who struggles with brevity, clarity, and concise thoughts.
In other words. So why do you need other words? Weren’t your original words sufficient? These speakers also lack clarity and conciseness. “In other words” allows them to drone on.
Anyway. Sometimes used as “anyways.” Often speakers use this useless word after they think they’ve said something profound or funny. It’s like they are expecting a laugh track or applause. Nothing ever happens. And “anyway” is never defined.

How can we then avoid or minimize these killer fillers? Allow me these five suggestions:

Listen to recorded presentations you’ve done repeatedly. It’s usually a painful but profitable process.
Ask others to listen to you and evaluate you. Make certain the person will shoot straight with you. You might want to be careful if you use your spouse to be your critic. It can get ugly.
Use a manuscript if you need to do so. I would rather someone read to me “uh” free than hear someone extemporaneously hit me with two dozen, “uhs,” “you knows,” and “et cetera.”
Think about what your audience is hearing as you speak. Try to put yourself in their shoes. Think how your communication affects them or potentially affects them. Exercise empathy and lower the killer fillers.
If possible, get written evaluations from the audience on your presentations. Again, the pain is worth the gain.

What killer fillers do you hear? How does that affect you as a listener? How can speakers minimize of even eliminate killer fillers?