Margaret McSweeney's Blog, page 9

The Love Story that Finds Us All | Emily Wierenga

 

I was in Africa a couple of months ago on a bloggers’ trip, in a place called Widow’s Village in rural Rwanda. This village is government-funded, and provides housing for widows and children of the genocide.

The women are older now, but their faces bear the scars of the horrendous losses they’ve suffered. Many of them have been raped, and have watched their husbands and children be killed. Some have lost nine of eleven children. Others are now taking care of their daughters’ children because their daughters have gone mad and run away.

I was there one day when my team leader asked if any of the women wanted to tell their story. And surprisingly, they did. They wanted to tell their story.

Because no matter how hard it is, our story is one thing we’ll always have. God gives us our stories, not to define us, but to illuminate his presence on earth.

Our stories do not define us. They explain us, yes, but they do not define us. God’s love for us defines us, and our stories pave the way to that love.

At one point one of the widows, Margaret—whose breath smelled slightly of vodka—sat down heavily in the dirt as her sister shared about the genocide and the losses she’d encountered. I sat down with Margaret, there in Africa’s red dirt, and put my arm around her. A child in my lap and Rwanda all around me.

Life is hard.

Sometimes I say to God, “Look at your people—look at how Earth has done them in.”

But then Margaret whispered, “God is so good.”

I leaned in and she said it again. “God, he’s so good. He gives me everything I need. Praise him.”

This is a woman who’s lost everything. Her children, her husband, her home. She’s witnessed evil face-on. Yet she still believes in goodness.

Our stories do not define us. They are gifts to us, to show how God steps from heaven to earth on our behalf. To show how our Creator interacts with his creation. Our job is not to control the story, but to read it, and wait for the Savior. To wait for him to come and pull us out of the climax—to pull us out of the evil—and to set the lonely in families.

We all are like children, longing to belong. I am a preacher’s daughter who traveled the globe searching for the faith my father preached. Trying to find God in the corners of the earth, and then my Mum got sick. And I found God where I least expected, at the bedside of my dying mom.

In the end, love finds us all. It found me through a farm boy who gave me roots and at the same time, wings. It found me through the smile of my mum who whispered, “You’re so beautiful,” to me on the days when she was awake. And it found me through the embrace of a father who said, “Thank you.”

It finds all of us through our stories which lead us to a God who never leaves or forsakes us—who leans close to us as we sit on the red dirt, in the middle of our suffering, and says, “Come home, child. Come home.”

God gives us our stories, not to define us, but to illuminate his presence on earth @emily_wierenga
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More About Emily:

Emily T. Wierenga is an award-winning journalist, commissioned artist and columnist, as well as the author of four books including A Promise in Pieces, releasing April 15 with Abingdon Press. She lives in Alberta, Canada with her husband and two sons.

For more info, please visit www.emilywierenga.com. Find her on Twitter or Facebook.

 

 

New from Emily | A Promise in Pieces

It’s been more than 50 years since Clara cared for injured WWII soldiers in the Women’s Army Corp. Fifty years since she promised to deliver a dying soldier’s last wish. And 50 years since that soldier’s young widow gave her the baby quilt—a grief-ridden gift that would provide hope to countless newborns in the years to come.

On her way to the National World War II Museum in New Orleans, Clara decides it’s time to share her story. But when the trip doesn’t go as planned, Clara wonders if anyone will learn the great significance of the quilt—and the promise stitched inside it.

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The Power of Encouragement

I spent three hours on the phone yesterday with Bill, the tech support guy from our internet provider. My email hadn’t been working for several days. I’d already spent 45 minutes with another tech person, and the problem hadn’t been resolved. I felt my blood pressure rising. I watched the minutes tick away into hours while Bill figured out the problem. Finally a box popped open on my computer screen. Congratulations! If I could have hugged Bill, I would have!

What struck me about our long conversation was Bill’s steady, calm approach. I realize that’s his job, but still . . . three hours trying to unravel some woman’s email dilemma? That’s extraordinary. He never once sounded impatient or frazzled–just determined to get the job done.

Bill didn’t know that in addition to fixing my email, he’d given me the gift of encouragement. Computer issues, though not the end-all be-all, can be overwhelming for those of us who are technically challenged. Hearing Bill’s calm voice kept me from a melt-down.

Through the years, I’ve been the grateful recipient of countless gifts of encouragement from friends and even strangers like Bill. It seems they come at exactly the right moment. When Randy’s alcoholism spiraled out of control, a friend wrote me: Oh, Deb, how I long to wipe your tears, to put a present of hope in your heart, to help you sense God’s arms around you and Randy. I pray that Jesus will show you what to do one step-at-a-time and that you will see His power overcome ALL. 

My friend didn’t see God’s gracious answers to her prayers. We lost touch when I moved away almost 20 years ago. I received hope to continue on in my marriage and wisdom to navigate uncharted territory. I witnessed God’s power to help Randy overcome his addiction. We experienced healing and forgiveness for the pain and heartache. I can only imagine where I’d be today without these faithful messengers of encouragement. Because of my friend’s example and many others, I am inspired to also be a giver of encouragement.

Here are three obstacles to becoming an encourager:   

Self-centeredness

I so easily get caught up in myself and my needs. In order to be encouragers, we have to get beyond ourselves. We need to consider others—the friend who would love a phone call or visit, the note we could write or some other act of kindness we can offer.

Complacency

I get distracted by majoring on minor issues (like computers!) instead of looking at God’s greater plan. What can I do today to make a difference? To whom is God calling me to offer support and encouragement?

Ungratefulness

I need to be reminded that I’m right where I need to be in my family, my community, my job. I am God’s hands and feet right here right now. For this, I am grateful. I pray that we can recognize opportunities to touch others’ lives.

Mother Teresa, always an inspiration to me, said: Keep giving Jesus to your people, not by words, but by your example.

Thank you, God, for the people who have encouraged me. Their example motivates me to do the same.

Don't let the three obstacles of being an encourager get the best of you! @Grit_Grace @DebKalmbach
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Cheerleader or Coach

“Two, four, six eight. Who do we appreciate?

Defense. Defense.

Push ‘em back, push ‘em back. Way back.”

Cheerleaders scream and yell and shake pom poms during a sporting event to encourage their teams to victory.

My guess is most of these sneaker-clad girls don’t know much about the game for which they’re rooting. My girls didn’t know the difference in an offensive and defensive play, but they cheered their little hearts out because that’s what cheerleaders do—lead spectators to support a particular team.

Hopefully, we all have some cheerleader in us. We may not sport a beribboned ponytail, short skirt and tennis shoes, but on occasion, we’ve applauded someone’s attempts at sports, academics or life in general.

A question arises about cheering for someone else’s success, whether on the field, basketball court, or other endeavor. Do I have a vested interest in the outcome? I love watching my favorite college football team, the University of Alabama, play each season. I scream and jump up and down—in the privacy of my living room—but at the end of the game, it’s just a game. I didn’t graduate from the University, although my father and brother did. I want Alabama to win, but it’s not the end of my world if they don’t.

Encouragement is another matter. This looks more like coaching than cheering. A coach instills confidence in the players by taking an interest in them individually. The coach looks for weaknesses and develops a plan for strengthening the players’ shortcomings. Of course, colleges and professional leagues have staff members who help formulate plays and strategies to build a strong team, but the head coach supports their efforts and promotes the team. He’s invested on a daily basis, not just one game.

Encouragement is evident in more than athletics. Let’s think about areas in our everyday lives where support is needed:

Grief care
Divorce care
Addiction care

Grief care is an important part of a church’s ministry. Some churches support group ministries which include coping with the loss of a spouse, child, or parent. At my former church, a retired pastor led the grief care ministry. He was well-suited to walk alongside grieving folks since he had lost his first wife and a son to death. He was acquainted with grief and validated “Weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.” (Psalm 30:5b NIV).

Divorce care is another area in which people are desperate for encouragement. One of my daughters leads a group for women in her church and, from her own painful experiences, offers them weekly encouragement. She helps them recognize and understand the process of divorce and buoys their confidence with a “you’ll-get-through-this” attitude. She can say that because she got through it. She demonstrates 1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NIV) for the women, “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.”

Individuals and families caught in the strangling grip of addictions certainly need special care and understanding. My husband and I have a tender spot in our hearts for hurting families because we know firsthand the pain of living with an addict. Our son’s addiction led us into a ministry I never would have chosen, but I’m grateful it chose me. Through our strength, hope, and experience we share encouragement with families slogging through the mire of hopelessness.

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4 NIV) ripples through my heart as I meet with families in distress. God comforted me so that I can comfort—and encourage—someone else.

Look around your workplace, your church or your neighborhood and become aware of people who may need a cheerleader in their corner for a specific project or venture. Also keep an eye out for the person who might need encouragement for a longer period of time. Walk alongside someone through their problems. You can bring light into their dark place.

“Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.” Hebrews 10: 23-24 (NIV)

Encouragement looks more like coaching than cheering! @SharronCosby @Grit_Grace
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Beyond Blending

We spend much of our lives trying to be someone else; trying to be like everyone else. We model ourselves after those we admire. We emulate those who are popular. We want to fit in. We strive for acceptance. Yet, God created us to be unique individuals. When we become totally His, He sets us apart from the crowd. He transforms us.

“You were all called to walk the same road, in the same direction . . . Everything you are and think and do is permeated with Oneness. But that doesn’t mean you should all look and speak and act the same. Out of the generosity of Christ, each of us is given his own gift (Ephesians 4:4,6-7 The Message).”

I am reflecting on the various chapters of my life this morning, each stage of attempts to step out, to be different, to be me. And being told that I needed to ”fit in,” to blend. My individuality created problems, jealousy, envy. I was expected to blend in order to be accepted. Being me was always either too good or not. good. enough. As a result, I became very self-conscious. My gifts were stifled. My wings were clipped. “Being me” was a constant stop-and-go battle.

Ever felt like that? I’m guessing you have.

“And so I insist—and God backs me up on this—that there be no going along with the crowd, the empty-headed, mindless crowd . . . that’s no life for you. You learned Christ! . . . everything–connected with that old way of life has to go . . .

Get rid of it! And then take on an entirely new way of life—a God-fashioned life, a life renewed from the inside and working itself into your conduct as God accurately reproduces his character in you (Ephesians 4:17-24TM).”

Honestly?

The real me, the true me, the free me is almost more than even I can handle! So unique and individual, this “God-woman” within. It makes me laugh to imagine what my Creator was thinking. What really humors me is when friends call me flamboyant! (My mind immediately defaults to a combo of Liberace and a wild pantsuit I made for myself in the seventh grade!)

But the most amazing thing is this: to have arrived at this place of embracing the person God created me to be and being fully embraced by the body of Christ. The result: freedom to thrive in the gifts and talents He has given me in the place that He has sent me!

Are you hearing this message?

As individuals, we are to discover and excel in our spiritual gifts, embrace the person God intended us to be. We use our gifts to build up the body of Christ (the church) and share the love of Christ with the world.
As the body of Christ, it is our responsiblity to affirm and accept, encourage and empower, even celebrate the unique giftedness of each individual member of the church . . .

“until we’re all moving rhythmically and easily with each other, efficient and graceful in response to God’s Son, fully mature adults, fully developed within and without, fully alive like Christ…who is the source of everything we do. He keeps us in step with each other. His very breath and blood flow through us, nourishing us so that we will grow up healthy in God, robust in love (Ephesians 4:13-16TM).”

Ahh! What a beautiful vision of the church, Christ’s body, fully developed in the Spirit, operating in our gifts, overflowing with love.

Embrace the person God created you to be! @Cindy Stiverson @Grit_Grace
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Simple Encouragement in a Complicated World

“Encourage yourself by encouraging others. It’s tough to encourage others without lifting your own spirits up.” ~Kevin Ngo

It seems to me as though God’s encouragement comes at just the right time. Not too early, lest we stop relying on him. Not too late, so we miss out on His plan. That said, there have been countless times when I thought it would never come.  It always did. Just not when I expected and hoped.

I have received what seemed to be countless words and actions of encouragement over the years. When I have felt truly sunken, someone comes along and seems to lift me from the lifeless waters. They act as the breath that I need.  For that, I remain in true gratitude as I am encouraged by God’s provision.

My Mother-In-Law once challenged me to start each day in prayer by asking God to show me who I was supposed to talk to and encourage. I did so and was amazed to see what happened by my simple actions. With eyes and heart open, I was able to see others who needed a word or act of encouragement. I talked to the homeless girl on the street, wrote an email to a friend I hadn’t seen in years, and called someone who was simply on my mind. In doing so, I was amazed by the response I received. God seemed to lead me to who needed His encouragement and in being obedient, I felt all the more blessed than when I was on the receiving end.

What if today, instead of worrying about our own lives, we reach out to others who need encouragement? Lay down your own troubles for just a day and pray that God uses you to bless another. When you open yourself up to be a vessel for God’s encouragement, you can’t help but be lifted into encouragement yourself.

Instead of worrying about your life, who can you reach out to & encourage today? @swauterlek
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In the God Groove| Tracie Peterson

I love Colossians 3:23 – “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.” I think sometimes we get lost in the pressures of everyday life and all that we have to do. We feel over burdened and frustrated, even angry and disappointed with life.

Many has been the time that I thought to myself, “This isn’t what I signed on for.” I’m sure you’re no different. When problems and chores overwhelm us, it’s easy to miss the blessing in them. When the living room needs to be picked up for the twentieth time that day or the floor you just mopped is dirtied by muddy feet, it’s hard to see God in the midst. Even in a professional setting, we find ourselves often the victims of lazy co-workers or scheming bosses. Life in this fallen world isn’t easy and it never will be. However, having an attitude of Colossians 3:23 has made all the difference in my life. I started looking at the dirty kitchen and thinking to myself, “I’m going to clean this unto the Lord—not for the humans in my life.”  With every bit of trash that didn’t make it to the garbage can, I offered it as a sacrifice to the Lord.  Washing the countertop, I imagined Jesus standing there smiling as I told Him over and over, “This is for you, Lord.”

It really doesn’t matter what it is that you’re doing. I promise you it will take on an entirely different meaning when you do it for Jesus. My writing is that way. It’s a ministry first and foremost. I dedicated my writing to God long ago and knew that the focus could never be about the money or fame. It’s about Him and sharing who He is. It’s about offering the Gospel of hope to a dying world. When I write, I know that Jesus is right there with me and I completely focus on writing for Him—not for human masters. Talk about liberating. There is such freedom in working for the Lord.

Human masters or humans in general will always find fault. They will always devalue your efforts—sometimes without meaning to and sometimes on purpose. What you do here on earth will offend some, encourage some, and divide still others. But when you are working at it for Jesus—when you commit whatever you do to Him, it ceases to matter what others think.  When you are, as I call it, “In the God groove,” He makes all things right and puts even those wagging tongues on mute.

So today, when you have to clean up something for the umpteenth time – clean it for Jesus.  When you have to help someone who failed to do what they were supposed to do – do it for Jesus. And when you face trials and judgments, heartache and indifference – yield it to Jesus and do the work for Him.  “Whatever you do . . . ” pretty much covers all territories.

"There is such freedom in working for the Lord! Tracie Peterson @grit_grace
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More about the Author:

Tracie Peterson is the award-winning author of over eighty novels, both historical and contemporary. Her avid research resonates in her stories, as seen in her bestselling Heirs of Montana, and Alaskan Quest series. Tracie and her family make their home in Montana.

Visit Tracie’s Web site at www.traciepeterson.com

 

New From Tracie | A Sensible Arrangement

Marty Dandridge Olson is ready to leave behind the pain of the past.

Answering an advertisement for a “Lone Star bride,” she leaves her Texas ranch and heads to Denver to marry a man she doesn’t know.

Jake Wythe is the man waiting for her.

Burned by love, he marries now simply to satisfy the board of Morgan Bank, which believes a man of his standing in society should be wed. Together Jake and Marty agree they are done with romance and love and will make this nothing more than a marriage of convenience.

When missing money and a collapsing economy threaten his job, Jake’s yearning to return to ranching grows ever stronger, much to Marty’s dismay. But a fondness has grown between them, as well, further complicating matters.

What will happen when their relationship shifts in unexpected ways… and dreams and secrets collide?

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Daddy’s Coming

Everyone in the house knew that face meant “Sit your tail down right now”. There was no arguing or disputing. When you got “the look” you knew you were about two seconds from a spanking or other consequence. Momma meant business. She had the power to give mercy or punishment. She could make your life sweet or painful at that moment. She knew it and all of us kids knew it too. You did not want to come up against her strength when you were wrong. But you sure did want it when you were the one being wronged! Why? Because you knew if there was something she could do to fix it, she would. That thought was always encouraging to you in time of trouble.

Psalm 46:10 begins with “Be still and know that I am God”.  In context, God is telling Israel that He will deliver them. He is telling the other nations that He’s coming to judge them because He is God. He has the power to do that. And in the end He will be exalted, not just by His chosen people, but by all the earth. Now that’s power that only God has. The Israelites had been on the receiving end of God’s power in judgment. They had an idea what was forthcoming. What was great was that this time, it wasn’t them who had done wrong. They had been wronged. And Daddy God was on His way to fix it.

When life gets hard and situations get messy, we don’t have to rely on our own strength. We have a Father who is all-powerful. He can handle any problem that plagues us. All we need to do is let Him know we need Him. He will come and rescue us because He is God and He is able. When times get hard and things seem to difficult, think about Psalm 46:10. Remember that Daddy’s coming. That’s all the encouragement you’ll need.

We don't have to rely on our own strength because our Father is all-powerful.  @RaleighGirl...
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Surfing for Encouragement

Where do you find encouragement? Lately, I look for collections of quotes online. It’s amazing to me how much is just a click away. I know, I should be over it by now . . . the world wide web has been connecting us for over a decade. Yet I still get tickled when I start typing something into a search engine and it auto fills the very thing I was looking for. Or even better I get directed to something I never thought to look for in the first place!

I will grant you it can be an incredible waste of time to surf the web, sailing through website after website till an entire afternoon or evening has vanished. But taken in small doses there are lovely bits of encouragement to find online. After all you’ve found us here at Pearls online. Here are of few of my recent finds . . .

I typed “quotes of laughter” into a search engine and found this:

If you smile when no one else is around you really mean it.

~Andy Rooney, American radio and television writer

And this:

He deserves Paradise who makes his companions laugh.

~The Holy Koran

And this:

Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.

~Victor Borge, Danish comedian and pianist

I searched for dreams too by typing “quotes of dreams” and found these:

Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.

~Harriet Tubman, African-American abolitionist, humanitarian, and Union spy during the American Civil War

And this:

It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.

~Erma Bombeck, American humorist

You already know how to waste time by surfing the web, but next time you are in need of a little encouragement try using your surfing skills for good. Look for a quote to feed your need. You might find something like this:

Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.

~Martin Luther King, Jr., American pastor and leader of the African-American civil rights movement

'Use your surfing skills for good. Look up encouraging words!' Lisa Bogart  @Grit_Grace
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The Three Little Words Everyone Wants to Hear

I used to think the most important words in the English language were I love you. I used to think there was nothing braver than I’m sorry. And the most generous? I forgive you takes the cake on this one.

A few years ago I became a certified doula, which is basically just a birth attendant. I didn’t have any medical authority to deliver a baby, but my presence was crucial in ensuring every delivery included a happy ending. I told my clients I would be with them through the entire process, from the first contraction to the last. It was immensely satisfying work because my shear presence brought peace during some of the most challenging and terrifying moments in a young woman’s life. In the delivery room, I was not only a voice of reason, but also a helping hand. I provided sympathy and comfort, assurance and support. I did what I did best and left all the complicated medical stuff to the highly skilled professionals.

My philosophy was simple: I’m with you.

Like a woman in labor, we all struggle. Some of us must overcome a painful past. Others must navigate a complicated present. But all of us desire a meaningful future. Americans value inner strength, but our connectedness is what helps us go further faster. Over the past few years I’ve been honored to know a lot of people experiencing tough times–parents with kids in foster care, moms loving little ones back to health through cancer in children’s hospitals, and families without a home of their own finding their way in temporary housing. These are hard things, and going it alone just doesn’t make sense. Standing on the outside of such events, it’s easy to feel judgmental, harder to express compassion. In a church that preaches love your neighbor as yourself, we do a pretty crappy job of actually showing it.

Last week, I participated in a Bible Study with some girls from my neighborhood. We’re in the middle of a book study by John Ortberg called Everybody’s Normal Till You Get to Know Them. In it, Ortberg asserts that people are most scandalized by sins of the flesh whereas Jesus was most scandalized by sins of the spirit. I find myself shuddering when I hear my friends talk about the people they know who are gay, or who drink, or God-forbid have been divorced and remarried. My own arrogance and pride, though hidden, is worse than the “Don’t drink, smoke, or chew or go with boys that do” mantra of my childhood.

And so I am humbled by Jesus’ actions. His name, Immanuel, literally means God With Us. How cool is that?

In my work as a doula, the best births were the ones in which I had developed a personal relationship with the family. The more I sought to understand their wishes and needs, the better equipped I was to share sacred time with them in the delivery room. So many things could contribute to a successful birth–prenatal care, sexual history, and physical health. But the one thing that affected positive outcomes the most was also the simplest: having someone in the room who was willing to be their advocate.

And so it dawned on me: There’s nothing that has the potential to move people closer to their heavenly father than I’m with you.

How many times of you heard a Christian say, “I love you, but I don’t approve of your behavior.”

“I’m sorry, but I felt like I had no choice but to . . .”

“God will forgive you, but . . .”

You can’t say I’m with you with a caveat. With you means what with you says.

It means, “I’ll be with you while God works in you to move you into growing relationship with Jesus Christ.”

“Yes,” my friend says, “but isn’t it our responsibility to tell people that they’re sinning? How else will they know?”

I’m going to be okay living in the tension of those words. In the delivery room, was it my responsibility to tell parents I thought they were headed for a C-section? Was it my job to give the okay to start pushing? I didn’t have the medical authority to do those things. That was the doctor’s job. Just being with my clients encouraged them to do their best. Many times, I had to honestly admit I didn’t have all the answers. In life, too, I don’t have to have an answer for every question.

I want to be about relationships, not rules. I want to be about encouragement, not entitlement. I want to be the one who is with them. And whether a friend births a baby or a relationship  with Christ,

I’m with you.

Three words everyone wants to hear: I'm with you. @chanlynnadams @Grit_Grace
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