Margaret McSweeney's Blog, page 8

On Growth | Gillian Marchenko

Gillian Marchenko, author of the recently published memoir Sun Shine Down, writes about where she and Polly are today, and the importance of noticing growth . . . 

It’s a sunny Sunday afternoon. My youngest daughter Evangeline (adopted from Ukraine in 2009, and who has Down syndrome and autism) swings in an adaptive swing while her Papa dutifully pushes her back and forth. Elaina and Zoya, our two older girls, with adult-like bodies but childlike hearts, swoop and slide on the monkey bars. I shadow Polly, who also happens to have Down syndrome, to make sure she doesn’t get hurt, to help her if she asks.

An elevated Chicago train rumbles above us along the perimeter of the park. I turn to watch it push forward for a moment. The sun blinds my eyes. I look down at my shoes.

My head raises and I glance around for Polly, who seized the opportunity to rush to another activity while her Mom is momentarily preoccupied.

“Polly, where are you?” I call.

“Over here, Mom. I’m here.”

“Where?”

I turn around where I stand. I don’t see her.

“Here.”

Her voice comes from above. The knotted rope ladder to my right shakes, and I catch sight of my daughter’s blue and green Velcro tennis shoes command the ropes as she scurries up.

I had no idea she could climb like that, sure-footed, easily, without any help, on weaving ropes that bend and rock as she moves.

Polly is seven years old.

Her diagnosis of Down syndrome picked up my world and threw it against a brick wall. In my memoir, Sun Shine Down (published with T. S. Poetry Press in August), I talk about the year I stayed drippy, unglued, apart, so very sad about the presence of an extra chromosome in my child, and so very, very frightened of the future.

I was as weak as a mom as Polly was as a new baby. Her infant body resembled a bag of brown sugar. For months, her arms and legs flopped around. She was unable to hold her head up for a long time.

As was I.

But Polly and I both have grown important muscles over the last seven years. Her: muscles to stand, and then run, and jump, and climb a knotted rope ladder. And me: muscles to love without fear, to trust God, to advocate for my daughter, and beyond all else, enjoy the crap out of her.

Polly’s growth astounds me. She works hard to acquire new skills. She makes friends with anyone who comes into her sight. She cracks one-liners, causing our whole family to burst our britches with laughter, and she continues to teach me about what is really worth paying attention to in life.

I am blessed to be Polly’s mother. There have been hard times, and there will be more, but I plan to follow the footsteps of my daughter. To take a step when it is difficult, to work until I am sure-footed and able to chase after whatever God puts in front of me, and to make sure there is enough time in my days to appreciate growth; in my family, and in myself.

Make sure there is enough time in your days to appreciate growth @GillianMarchenk
Click To Tweet - Powered By CoSchedule

Gillian Marchenko is an author and national speaker who lives in Chicago with her husband Sergei and four daughters. Her book, Sun Shine Down, a memoir, published with T. S. Poetry Press in the fall of 2013 and she is currently writing a memoir about depression that will publish with InterVarsity Press.

She writes and speaks about stumbling faith, special needs, depression, imperfect motherhood, and deep belly laughs. Her work has appeared in numerous publications, including Chicago Parent, Thriving Family, Gifted for Leadership, Literary Mama, Today’s Christian Woman, MomSense Magazine, Charlottesville Family, EFCA Today, and the Tri-City Record.

Gillian says the world is full of people who seem to have it all together. She speaks for the rest of us.

Connect with Gillian on her website www.gillianmarchenko.com, on Facebook and Twitter.

 

The Art of Practicing Restraint | Lisa Troyer

Excerpt adapted from Real Women Leading: With Proverbs 31 Values by Lisa Troyer and Dawn Yoder. ©2014 New Hope Publishers – used with permission.

The Proverbs 31 woman must have been one who could both restrain her tongue and her actions. How do we know? The first things that are said about her are she is a woman of “noble character” (v. 10) and “her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life” (vv. 11–12). A little later the author tells us that this woman’s “husband is respected at the city gate where he takes his seat among the elders of the land” (v. 23). If she had been a gossip or a busybody, she would not have been said to have a “noble character.” If she had been morally loose in any way, she would have done him harm and not good. By the effect her words and actions had on her husband — who held an office like today’s politicians — we know a lot about her. Lack of restraint was not a problem for her.

I wish I could say the same for myself. I cannot remember how many times I wished that I had waited an additional five seconds before sharing a response in a conversation, reaction in an argument, comment when teaching, or request in prayer. In just five seconds of silence, tremendously different results can occur. In just five seconds of seeking the Lord’s will over my own, what He desires can be better accomplished. Too often I find that I first say what I think is right and then ask Him to bless what I have chosen in my own wisdom and strength. Time and time again, it has been obvious that this is not the best way.

Proverbs 21:2 (ESV) tells us, “Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the hearts.” In this verse lies such a valuable reminder. We all think the first thing that enters our mind in any given situation is right. After all, we are more likely to believe ourselves than we are to believe anyone else. What we sometimes fail to take into consideration is the strong influence of our unique emotions, inclinations, experiences, and sinful nature. All we process comes through our own individualized filter. Sometimes our filter is dirty, torn, or in need of replacement, greatly hindering our ability to process a situation from a healthy or unbiased point of view. Before we even realize it, an off-the-cuff response comes forth, potentially impacting a situation to an undesirable degree.

It is vitally important that we take those extra five seconds, and oftentimes longer, to submit ourselves to the Lord before we respond. By doing this we allow Him to weigh our hearts with His scales of knowledge, wisdom, and truth. When we use restraint in our words instead of just speaking our first thought, we are submitting both our thoughts and words to a divine filter. We are giving the Lord permission to influence and shape what will come forth. This kind of purposeful submission invites the Lord to be a part of everything we say. When He speaks through us, instead of us speaking for ourselves, things tend to go much more smoothly than they would otherwise.

This is also an issue for me when I pray. “Even in prayer you use restraint?” you might ask in shock. Yes, even here. I know that God knows everything that is on my mind before I verbally present it to Him. But I believe that in the place of prayer, I should show restraint in what and how I pray over situations, myself, and others. It seems wise to me not just to blurt out my feelings. Instead I ask the Lord to lead and guide me as I share my heart with Him.

There is no doubt that He can handle my little snits, outbursts, and self-indulgent whining sessions. In fact, He has been quite longsuffering when it has come to these episodes over the years. Thankfully, He knows that I’m “but dust” and keeps that frailty in perspective as He restrains His discipline in dealing with me for my own self-focused tendencies. A reminder to me that He is a kind, gracious, and merciful Father.

I don’t think it is a surprise to the Lord that we struggle in this area. It is fairly obvious it has always been this way. James 1:19–20 states, “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” It is important to remember that when we allow our own words to take precedence, we have placed the Lord’s words and wisdom on the back burner.

When people exemplify restraint:

• They are consistent and keep their integrity intact. Those with integrity have a unity of thought, word, and action. They realize that others will interpret what their convictions, values, and beliefs are by what they say and how they say it.

• They think before they speak. They do not have outbursts or talk over others. They recognize that their words are an expression of who they are and who God is, so they choose them carefully.

• They are good listeners. They analyze what they hear and choose their response based on the best way to communicate to the other person.

• They look for opportunities to lift others up and encourage them.

• They maintain an attitude that is geared to bring help and healing to others rather than an attitude that is condescending, dismissive or aggressive.

When our words take precedence, we place the Lord’s wisdom on the back burner! @lisatroyer
Click To Tweet - Powered By CoSchedule

More About Lisa

Lisa Troyer hosts Macchiato Moments on Moody Radio and is a founding member of John Maxwell’s team of coaches and trainers. She is the executive sales director for an international food service company. Lisa lives in Ohio with her husband, two children.

Learn more about Lisa at www.lisatroyer.com.

 

 

New from Lisa | Real Women Leading

Real Women: Leading with Proverbs 31 Values is a must-have leadership resource for today’s Christian woman. Written by women in the marketplace, Real Women cultivates biblical truth, credible relationship development, and practical application into everyday life through ten foundational principles. Once women embrace these ten principles, they will soon discover the multiple attributes of the Proverbs 31 woman in today’s marketplace and learn practical ways to implement the wisdom from that timeless Scripture passage.

 

Is Your Walk with Jesus Like a Silent Film?

Silent films were popular in the 1920s. In one film, a guy falls in love with a girl . . . the girl never really takes notice, though. The guy, trying to make a good impression, walks up to the girl in order to talk to her. Instead, he finds himself slipping on a banana peel or splashing in a huge puddle of water. By the end of the film, the girl is swept off her feet, and they both live happily ever after.

Our walks with Jesus Christ can sometimes be like a silent film. We become distracted by television, the internet, our jobs, and other relationships. Meanwhile, God is trying to get our attention (although He doesn’t slip on banana peels). He is in love with us, and we sometimes ignore Him.

Jeremiah 31:3b says, “I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you.”

We need to learn to turn off the season finale, Facebook, and other distractions. One of the many ways God tries to get our attention is through His love letter to us: the Bible. Take some time today to dive into God’s Word and be swept off your feet.

He’s trying to get your attention!

Take time today to dive into God's Word & be swept off your feet! @remixher @grit_grace
Click To Tweet - Powered By CoSchedule

Are you new here? You might want to subscribe to my email updates, follow me on Twitter, or follow me on Facebook.

Meet the Pearl Girls | Sharron Cosby

Meet our newest Pearl Girl, Sharron Cosby! Sharron is married to Dan, a Certified Addiction Professional, and together they have three adult children and five grandchildren. She works for an international charity by day and writes by night. Her passion is to share God’s message of hope, strength, and encouragement with families living in the shadow of addiction. You can learn more about Sharron and her ministry at erecoverychurch.com.

Share a little about how you became a writer:

I’ve always enjoyed writing, but I took it up a notch in 2008. A friend invited me to visit Tampa Word Weavers, a critique group, and I went. Some of the ladies had submissions accepted by Chicken Soup for the Soul, and I decided to try my hand at a story. The group helped me polish my piece, and I sent it in. Much to my surprise, it was accepted and published. A week or two later, a second article I submitted was accepted by a national magazine. I was hooked and have been writing and submitting since that time.

Favorite Scripture or Life Verse?

Jeremiah 31:15-17. These two verses turned my life upside down on October 8, 2009, with the hope and promise of restoration.

What motivates you to write?

As a lifelong reader, I know and appreciate the power of words. I’ve been encouraged from reading stories when it seemed my world was falling apart. I’ve gone on imaginary voyages through the tales woven in books. I’ve solved mysteries and figured out who the “bad guy” is as the plot unfolds. I want to pay forward the joy of words I’ve read and enjoyed all my life. My prayer is that my writing will inspire someone needing an encouraging word. Perhaps someone could use a good laugh and something I write pulls a smile to their lips. Life change is what motivates my writing–my own and those of my readers.

Favorite Food:

This is a tough one. It’s a toss up between black eyed peas, collard greens and roasted cauliflower. Throw in some southern cornbread, and we’ve got a meal.

If you were stuck on a deserted island, what are 5 things that you’d have to have with you? 

1. Bible (Life Application NIV))

2. My husband Dan

3. iPhone with solar charger attached (I’m assuming it’s not too deserted, and I’d have some service available!)

4. Notebook

5. Pens

Get to know the newest Pearl Girl @SharronCosby! @grit_grace
Click To Tweet - Powered By CoSchedule

Are you new here? You might want to subscribe to my email updates or follow me on Facebook.

Winner Announced from Pearl Girls Reader Favorites Survey

Thanks to everyone who shared their favorite authors and blogs in our Pearl Girls Survey! We value your opinions and want to make sure Pearl Girls is meeting your needs and interests. Congratulations to the winner of a $25 gift card, Beth Bulow!

Are you new here? You might want to subscribe to my email updates, follow me on Twitter, or follow me on Facebook.

Pearl Girls Giveaway | Win Four Books!

We’ve had some great guest posts this month on Pearl Girls. We’d love to give you a chance to win a copy of their books!

Leave a comment below for your chance to win a copy of Claiming Mariah by Pam Hillman, A Promise in Pieces by Emily Wierenga, A Sensible Arrangement by Tracie Peterson, and Surprised by Grace by Elizabeth Sherrill.

P.S. Have you had a chance to take the Pearl Girls survey? Answer 2 questions about your “favorites” and you’ll be entered to win a $25 gift card of your choice! Hurry, the giveaway ends soon. Winner will be announced on Monday.

Win 4 great books on #PearlGirls blog @Grit_Grace
Click To Tweet - Powered By CoSchedule

Are you new here? You might want to subscribe to my email updates, follow me on Twitter, or follow me on Facebook.

Never Say Never | Elizabeth Sherrill

Never say never!

“Never” is what I said, many years ago, when Guideposts editor Van Varner suggested a book “telling your own story.” Van had known me, he pointed out, back when I thought of God as a long-outmoded myth.

“Today, God is at the center of your life. That’s quite a journey! Why don’t you write about it?”

Why not? Because my faith was a private matter!

I know now that my emphatic Never to Van was part of the door between me and the world that I write about in Surprised by Grace. My whole world was constructed on the insistence that I was different. Since I “wasn’t like others,” how could my experience interest anyone else? Van kept at it, though, bringing up “your book” — that wholly imaginary volume — every year or so.

It wasn’t Van, however, who finally changed my mind, but people I’ve never met. Over the years I’d written, always reluctantly, three or four short articles about my own life. Not going too deep, sort of one-toe-in-the-water. To my surprise, the articles drew responses from readers, each of whom had been convinced that her experience, or his experience, was unlike anyone else’s. “You’ve written my story!” the letters said, over and over.

The article that brought the most mail was about my struggle with depression. That most lonely and isolating experience brought remarkably similar confessions from across the country, men and women, young and old. All of us, apparently, in the black pit of that blackest place, had felt that no one else had ever experienced what we did. And the relief that these correspondents felt in recognizing themselves in my story, was stunningly evident.

Unique? Unlike anyone else? Of course I was. And so was every other person. Each of us God’s individual, unrepeatable creation. But obviously with much to say to each other! I began to wonder what else my life might have to communicate. I started pulling out notebooks, diaries, trip logs, faded photos.

Two letters in 1999 finally got me to my word processor. One was from a mother in the mid-west whose son had been sent home from college after locking himself in his dorm room for a week. She asked if I’d written anything else about depression. “I gave him your Guideposts story and it’s the only thing he’s read since he got home.”

The other letter came from a young woman in British Columbia who couldn’t remember the name of the piece she’d read in the Reader’s Digest about my strained relationship with my mother (Mother’s Desk). “My mother and I have trouble communicating too. She never returns my phone calls. I thought she might read that article.”

The two letters came within ten days of each other and acted as a kind of Why not, indeed!

“I think,” I said to Van, “I’m going to write that book.”

And as I wrote, something unexpected happened. I think I’d resisted letting anyone into my inner life, because I thought that exposing myself would destroy something fragile and perishable. Just the opposite has been true! The more open I dared to be, the more I was in touch with my own reality. It’s in sharing our thoughts and lives with one another, I know now, that we discover most clearly who we are

Find out how author Elizabeth Sherrill learned never to say never! @grit_grace
Click To Tweet - Powered By CoSchedule

More About Elizabeth Sherrill

Elizabeth Sherrill is the author behind the classic best sellers The Hiding Place about Corrie ten Boom, The Cross and the Switchblade about David Wilkerson, and God’s Smuggler about Brother Andrew. She also is a longtime contributor to America’s best-loved inspirational magazine Guideposts, and best-selling devotional, “Daily Guideposts.”

Learn more about Elizabeth at her website, elizabethsherrill.com.

 

New from Elizabeth | Surprised By Grace

Renowned writer Elizabeth “Tib” Sherrill shares her own faith journey at last!  Embrace this page-turner and see God’s work in your life every day.

In it, you’ll discover how God’s love transformed her life from one of great struggle to one with a clear direction and find inspiration, hope and strength for your own journey.

Enjoy touching stories about Tib’s family and close relationships, from her unhappy childhood to John’s surprising marriage proposal. Meet her lifelong friend Mea, and  her dear father-in-law who was able to see her for the complex person she was even though he was blind. Travel with her to fascinating places across the United States and Europe. And find out how she overcame her poor self-image after a stunning encounter with her Creator.

Take the Pearl Girls survey for a chance to win a $25 gift card of your choice!

Are you new here? You might want to subscribe to my email updates, follow me on Twitter, or follow me on Facebook.

A New Soundtrack | Ginger Ciminello

Have you recently stopped to consider the conversation that plays in your mind on a regular basis?

I have Psalm 139 taped to the inside of my shower. I decided to memorize the whole chapter when my daughter was born. I typed out the words, printed them, and then used a piece of contact paper to make my poster waterproof. As someone who struggles with anxiety, I need to come face to face with encouragement in the first moments of my day. I slowly read each verse and let the words speak to my heart. I repeat the words King David penned so long ago.

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.” (Psalm 139:23, NIV)

David is requesting for God to examine his every meditation. Every time I recite the verse in the shower or even as I clean the kitchen, I’m asking for the same thing. I desire that my Heavenly Father would sift through all the words in my heart and mind. That’s only slightly nerve-wracking, right?

This week I have conducted a small experiment. I have tried to record or consciously take note of the thoughts that run through my head and heart.

I’m going to challenge you to join me. Pull out a piece of paper and write out the phrases you most often speak to your soul.

Here’s a short sampling from mine: You could do this better. There’s so much to do. Try harder. You should be more prepared. You should be a better friend. You are going to be an emotional train wreck. Be afraid. You are not enough.

I realize that I’m fairly sarcastic in my thought life, and more than anything, the voice inside is pushing to do more, be more, try more, or simply feel more guilt. GAH. Haven’t I conquered this area of struggle before? I feel as though I’ve made real progress in the past year to move beyond performance evaluation and into nurturing my soul. I know the truth I should cling to, the soundtrack that would energize and encourage me, and yet I keep pulling out an old cassette tape that should have been trashed years ago. I don’t want the thoughts in my brain to work like an involuntary muscle, and that’s why meditation must come into play.

There’s a reason why God gave commands to His people and then challenged them to live them throughout the day. He longs for our hearts to be encouraged!

“Listen, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord alone. And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.” Deuteronomy 6:4-9, NLT

So often my reading in the morning can stay just that: reading in the morning. If I don’t make an effort to latch onto a phrase, thought, point, word, or verse, my involuntary muscle kicks in. That’s why memorizing a huge chunk of scripture has been such a blessing. With a teething baby, I’m up in the middle of the night far more than I would like to be! Sometimes when I wake, my brain is looping a top 40 hit from the radio, or I start in on the to-do lists, or more often then not, I settle in on the worries and anxieties of my day. I know that I need to shut all of that down if I ever want to get back to sleep at 3:20am. Reciting Psalm 139 in my head or praying have become the go-to meditations. The encouragement of God’s Word is peaceful, comforting, and beneficial.

Meditating has become the way that I let the truth infiltrate my heart and mind. Meditating changes the loop playing in my head and redirects my thoughts toward what is excellent and praiseworthy.

So that’s my challenge for all of us today. Consider your tape, and ditch it if it needs to go. Make the Word part of your day. Talk about it with your friends. Look at it on your mirror. Write it on your hand. Tape it on your window frame . . . meditate on it day and night.

The encouragement of God’s Word is peaceful, comforting, & beneficial @gingercim @grit_grace
Click To Tweet - Powered By CoSchedule

Ginger Ciminello may sound like an Italian dessert but she’s actually a speaker and blogger from Phoenix, Arizona. Her first book, Forget the Corsage , was released last year. She has spent the last decade encouraging young women to live up to their God-given potential and unique design. Learn more at  gingerciminello.com.

 

 

Take the Pearl Girls survey for a chance to win a $25 gift card of your choice!

Are you new here? You might want to subscribe to my email updates, follow me on Twitter, or follow me on Facebook.

Life’s Roller Coaster

Imagine you are at your favorite theme park about to ride the largest roller coaster there. You sit down in the car, buckle the seatbelt, and the ride attendant double-checks the belt. Soon, you hear a voice say, “I hope you enjoy your ride.” You’re on your way, and the first hill is the biggest. As you near the top of the hill, your heart starts pounding faster and faster. Next thing you know, you are plummeting to the ground, adrenaline rushing through your veins, and you feel as though you might fly out of your seat (thank goodness for the belt across your lap keeping you there!).

Our feelings throughout life can be like a roller coaster. One minute we’re up, and the next minute we’re down. One day life couldn’t get any better, and the next day our lives seem dreary. Don’t let these up and down feelings affect your relationship with God. Often times we base our faith on how we feel; we don’t feel forgiven. We don’t feel loved. God’s plans are not based on our human emotions, and our emotions do not determine if He loves us or forgives us. Base your faith on God’s Word, not on the roller coaster of emotion.

Base your faith on God's word. Not on the roller coaster of emotions @remixher @grit_grace
Click To Tweet - Powered By CoSchedule

Take the Pearl Girls survey for a chance to win a $25 gift card of your choice!

Are you new here? You might want to subscribe to my email updates, follow me on Twitter, or follow me on Facebook.

See Me. Encourage Me.

Everyone needs a little encouragement—to been seen, to be appreciated, to be listened to, to be honored with a moment of your time. I mean everyone.

God reminded me of this when I was in South Carolina at the Allume conference, and between two sessions I was taking some of my things to my hotel room to drop off. I was passing an open door when the housekeeper called to me. She was a young woman in her 20s with a smile on her face.

She pointed to our hotel room next door. ”Excuse me, ma’am, is that your room?”

“Yes.” I lifted an eyebrow.

“Ma’am, were you the one who wrote those books?” she said the last word with reverence.

“Yes, yes I am.”

“Ma’am, do you happen to have an extra one that I could read?”

I knew what books she was talking about. I’d brought a stack of gifts . . . just enough to give to my roommates and to take to my daughter and a few friends in Europe. I was leaving for Europe straight from the conference.

“I’m so sorry,” I told her. “I just have enough for this trip.”

“Oh, that’s OK.” She shrugged. “I understand.”

I walked to my room, and by the time I stepped inside my door the realization of what I’d just said hit me.

“What am I doing?” I told the image of myself in the mirror. God had put a young woman into my life at this moment. She had one simple request, and I had turned her down!

Without hesitating I picked up one of the copies of my novella, A Christmas Gift for Rose. I could mail more books to Leslie later . . . but for some reason I knew I needed to offer this gift.

I went to the open door, and it was my turn to call to her. “Miss,” I called.

She hurried to the door. Another housekeeper followed her.

“I’m so sorry that I said no. I do have this for you. I can mail another book to my daughter.”

She took it, and her eyes grew as large as saucers. She asked me to sign it to her, and then she introduced me to her friend who was working with her. “We love reading,” she told me. “We want to start a book club here at the hotel.” They both smiled wide.

My heart felt happy and full when I headed to the next workshop. It was just a simple thing, but I know that God caused our paths to collide for a reason. The young woman wanted to be seen. She need encouragement. (How many times have I walked past housekeepers without really knowing them? Lots!)

There are people all around us who feel unnoticed. They may be the person sitting alone at the restaurant table next to you, the lady who walks her dog up and down your street, the housekeeper at your hotel, or the man sitting next to you on the airplane.

Do you ever remember a time when you felt unnoticed? Think of someone who God brought to reach out to you. Then pray for God to bring someone into your life who you can see and appreciate.

Sometimes the person will call out to you. He or she will ask something from you, and it most likely won’t be on your day’s script. Know that God brought that person to you. What does your God ask of you? To open your hand, your heart.

Sometimes you may need to be the one to reach out. It’s the Holy Spirit within stirring in your heart, asking you to offer a smile and greeting. God gave Himself to you, and He wants you to share. Sometimes it’s sharing in simple ways like offering a book, and other times it’ll require much, much more. But as you reach out and love, God’s love will pour through you, and you’ll be blessed in ways you never expected.

Everyone needs a little encouragement. Everyone. #encourage @TriciaGoyer @grit_grace
Click To Tweet - Powered By CoSchedule

Take the Pearl Girls survey for a chance to win a $25 gift card of your choice!

Are you new here? You might want to subscribe to my email updates, follow me on Twitter, or follow me on Facebook.