Margaret McSweeney's Blog, page 10

A P.O. Box Filled with Encouragement

Little kids can be so kind and encouraging. My nieces, ages 5 and 6, spent the night with me while my youngest son and husband were out of town. My eldest is away in college. We had a ball during our “girl night” playing, making homemade pizza, and snuggling in bed with a stack of books I haven’t read in years. It was pure joy to have two small people curled up on either side of me totally immersed in storybooks.

During our evening we decided to bake cookies. The wind was howling and the April blizzard had hit. (We live in “polar vortex” country—Minnesota.) While the three of us were measuring, mixing, and tasting, the girls hatched a plan. Their oldest cousins are both in college.

“Let’s send the big boys a package!”

Suddenly our little baking session became a mission for two stressed out college kids. We texted the boys to see if they preferred with out without nuts . . . and to give them the heads up to watch for a special package in the dorm mailboxes. The text responses were of happiness and thankfulness. And a hearty, “Yes, lots of nuts!”

We finished baking, allowed the cookies to cool, and boxed them up to be mailed in the morning. The girls wrote notes to the big boys too. The three of us talked about how happy their cousins would be to receive a sweet treat from home and how the packages would be an encouragement.

To witness the love from these two little girls for their big boy cousins was sweet reminder to me. Families are tied by heartstrings, whether across town or across the country. The love and encouragement we give one another is a gift, mimicking the love the Father gives us. Even a package of cookies can become an eternal moment, showering two college boys with the knowledge they are not alone but loved deeply by a family God has so lovingly provided.

How do you encourage your kids living away from home?

The love & encouragement we give mimics the Father's love! @BeckyDanielson1 @Grit_Grace
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Winner Announced from March Book Giveaway!

Thanks to everyone for entering the March Book Giveaway! Congratulations to the winner, Meagan Williford! Please email elizabeth {at} litfusegroup {dot} com to claim your prize.

We have some great guest posts coming up in April, too! Check back the last Friday of the month for the April Book Giveaway!

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Unanswered Prayers | Pam Hillman

Are you old enough to appreciate unanswered prayers?

That was the question posed by a visiting evangelist one night. As usual, his question sent me off on a tangent, and I started thinking about how many of my prayers regarding my writing career weren’t answered when or how I wanted. And, even more importantly, how I felt about those unanswered prayers years later.

So, I asked some of my writer friends how they viewed unanswered prayers after a period of time had lapsed.

“Everything that has happened in my publishing career has been a God thing. My agent was due to a connection with another author, I had pretty much given up on finding an agent when it happened. I wasn’t sure where I was supposed to be but it’s like I planted the seeds and this is what grew. He knew the harvest and the timing. If there is one thing I have learned in this journey it’s to cast my cares on Him.”

I can so relate to the above. Every sentence has my name written all over it. God shook his head many times for me, and said, “Not yet, beloved. Not yet. You’re not ready.” It was hard to accept at the time, but looking back, I know He was right. He always is, isn’t He? Thank you, God, for unanswered prayers.

“My unanswered prayer was that the first manuscript that I sent out to editors did not get bought. At the time I didn’t realize how inane the writing was, although my voice was strong. If it had been bought, I’d have either had an absolutely horrible revision, or I’d have been heartily ashamed it was published after a few years.”

I look back at some of the projects I submitted, even projects that were almost picked up by publishing houses and cringe, knowing my writing wasn’t ready. Yes, at the time, I thought it was great, and maybe it was the best I could do, but now I know it could have been so much better. Thank you, editors, for not publishing my work way back then. And thank you, God, for unanswered prayers.

“Through twelve years of struggling to make a sale of one of my novels, I gave up more than once. But God always gave me some encouragement to keep me going. And though it seemed to take forever, once I did sell–and jumped right into revisions and art fact sheets and line edits and copy edits and promo–I realized I would not have been ready for all that years earlier. I’m a firm believer in God’s perfect timing. So hang in there and trust that God knows what He’s doing!”

Amen! God does know what He’s doing. Even though He has said, “Not now,” many times during this writing journey of mine, He’s always given me something to encourage me, to keep me going and believing as I perfected my craft. Thank you, God, for unanswered prayers.

Are you facing an unanswered prayer in your life? Keep your trust in God. He’s the best life coach, advisor, agent, editor, and manager we have, and He’s looking over our shoulders, shaking his head at our determination to rush ahead of his plan for us.

Don’t begrudge your unanswered prayers. Embrace them. Take them to God and let Him soothe your wounded spirit when a prayer goes unanswered. He knows you hurt, but he also knows what He has in store for you. And he’ll answer your prayers. In His time.

"Don't begrudge your unanswered prayers. Embrace them! @PamHillman @grit_grace
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More About the Author:

Pam Hillman was born and raised on a dairy farm in Mississippi and spent her teenage years perched on the seat of a tractor raking hay. In those days, her daddy couldn’t afford two cab tractors with air conditioning and a radio, so Pam drove the Allis Chalmers 110. Even when her daddy asked her if she wanted to bale hay, she told him she didn’t mind raking. Raking hay doesn’t take much thought so Pam spent her time working on her tan and making up stories in her head. Now, that’s the kind of life every girl should dream of!

Learn more at pamhillman.com.

New from Pam Hillman | Claiming Mariah

After her father’s death, Mariah Malone sends a letter that will forever alter the lives of her family. When Slade Donovan, strong willed and eager for vengeance, shows up on her front porch, Mariah is not ready to hear his truths: her father’s farm, the only home she’s ever known, was bought with stolen gold. With Slade ready to collect his father’s rightful claim and force Mariah and her family out on the streets, Mariah must turn to God for guidance. Though Mr. Frederick Cooper, a local landowner, promises to answer her financial woes if she agrees to be his bride, Mariah finds herself drawn instead to the angry young man demanding her home.

With the ranch now under Slade’s careful eye, he unearths more than he ever imagined as a devious plot of thievery, betrayal, and murder threatens the well-being of the ranch, endangering those who hold it dear. As the days dwindle until the rest of the Donovan clan arrives at the Lazy M ranch, Mariah and Slade must rise above the resentment of their fathers and see their true feelings before greed changes their futures forever.

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Update with Bonnie St. John

Pearl Girl Bonnie St. John has been having a whirlwind year! We recently caught up with her about recent and upcoming events.

I am involved in some wonderful things right now that allow me to serve and give back: Last week I was the emcee for a fantastic fundraising event in NYC for Wounded Warriors and my local chapter of Disabled Sports. Before that Darcy and I spoke to 800 high school girls in Kentucky on leadership. This week I am the closing speaker for the Catalyst NYC Conference that promotes women’s leadership. And Friday I am on a panel to help the 2014 Olympic/Paralympic teams with future career planning in DC.

Of course, some of the most fascinating work I get to do these days with my team at Blue Circle Leadership isn’t open to the public. In the healthcare industry, we are working with women leaders on three specialized experiences designed to make positive change happen. With our Micro-Resilience program, we’ve taken some big steps forward in our research and development, and we will soon be working with beta-testers on a new Micro-Resilience app! Clients in energy, financial services, and healthcare are giving Micro-Resilience rave reviews for increasing the focus, innovation, and energy of high-performing teams.

We also just published a Huffington Post article on how perfectionism can undermine women in leadership that has generated a lot of discussion online. Share the link with your recovering perfectionist friends!

As my mentor, Warren Witherell said, “It’s all about building Communities of Champions!”

Cheers,

Bonnie

Get an update with @bonniestjohn on @grit_grace blog!
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Bonnie is a 1984 Paralympics silver medal winner in ski racing. Her education includes a degree with honors from Harvard, a Rhodes scholarship, and an M.Litt in Economics from Oxford.  Her career includes positions as an award-winning sales rep for IBM and a Clinton White House member of staff. She now is a much-in-demand speaker, who makes nearly 100 speeches each year to corporations and civic groups. You can visit her on the Web at www.bonniestjohn.com.

 

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Twists and Turns

“Life is strange with its twists and turns, as every one of us sometimes learns . . . “

In my grandmother’s house there is a wall hanging with a poem written on it. My brain has a tendency to grasp onto words and roll them around incessantly. Sometimes these are words that I particularly like the sound of. Other times, though, they are just words. Words that stick whether or not I consciously like them all that much. This poem falls into the second category. I don’t particularly like the poetics of it and, though it is true enough, don’t even particularly care for its platitude-like nature. But ever since I was old enough to read, and retain, its words, they have reappeared in my brain every time something happens that reminds me of them. This is one of those times.

 

Last week we had a scare: an attack in the city that led to a sort of lockdown. In the immediacy of it, all I was concerned about was the disruption to my intended schedule:

What would happen to the music team when I couldn’t get there for practice?

How would I get the weekend errands done if I was not allowed to bike around as usual?

Would the little ones understand when they didn’t get to go to library for preschool storytime?

All very small-minded questions, when it comes down to it, considering the greater scale of terror that had just occurred in other lives. But I’ve always struggled to really grieve (and even really care) about things that do not seem to touch my own sphere of people or life; I am not proud of this emotional handicap, and it has led to prayers I have prayed for the breaking of my heart.

As the day of the attacks wore on, however, I began to notice some strange things going on in my otherwise-unaffected self. I was overreacting, for one, to normal interactions. And I was on a bit of a high, more hyper than usual for a Sunday. Most strikingly, however, for me, was the fact that I couldn’t seem to communicate effectively: conversations that are usually easy territory for me were a struggle. By afternoon I was piecing together the bits into a realization that I was reacting to a past part of my life. Here I was, living in a city where nothing but safety has been evident for the year plus in which I have lived here. Our struggles just don’t go into the realm of safety. I had taken this feeling for granted, clearly, so that now, illusion shattered, I was feeling the fears of the life I led two years ago: fears that were constant. But this afternoon it was a fleeting sort of fear that, once recognized, was easily dealt with. In between bread risings, we went out for a walk. Starting to walk, however, I stopped, took off my shoes, and started to run. I didn’t bother explaining anything, in words I knew I didn’t need to. After running for a while, I came back to him to resume our walk. “Feel better?” he asked. I nodded, and we carried on with the walk, and with the day.

They say that “absence makes the heart grow fonder.” While true enough, in a poetic way, I think this is a bit of a misleading truth. A more accurate (if less poetic) statement may be that “long periods of presence combined with brief spurts of absence make the heart grow fonder.” This is a reality that I am struck by at the moment, away for a conference. While here, I find myself musing on the fact that for all the times I have wished to get away from the daily grind of my workplace, it takes no longer than one day away to be missing it . . . missing those children, and missing the coworkers who function as my family in so many respects. Yesterday, while still there, I found myself relaxing from my usual level of productivity-stress.

For one, I looked out the window to see a science class testing out some homemade kites. I walked out to watch, smiling with their teacher at how “cute” the kids were as they ran around barefooted in the grass. I snapped a few photos, collected a few unwanted kites (which now form a bit of a hanging display in the library), and then I returned to the parent letter I was writing at the time.

For two, I snuck out again during lunch recess (I say “snuck out” because I generally stay put during recess so I can be available for potential check outs). No one was seeming to want the library, so I walked out to join the kids as they played. I smiled at the sight of one of my French students laying in the grass . . . contemplating life, or so it seemed. Watching her for a moment, I then walked over and, on impulse, laid down next to her. We did not say anything: just laid there watching the other children. After a few moments another child came over and laid down next to us. From the other side of the field I overheard a “Hey—what’s Miss J doing over there?” I looked over and waved at her, as a way of a response. And I smiled again. When it was time to go back inside I stood up, brushed myself off and wondered if I was wet from the dew. It didn’t really matter, though. Didn’t really matter at all.

How will you respond to the twists & turns of life? @GraceAnnaJ  @Grit_Grace
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When Life Gets Tough(er)

Life as we knew it was about to change – again. Along with our “special needs” young adult son and two school-aged daughters, we began a series of challenging adjustments when Joe’s mom joined our household. Recovering from a two-month hospitalization and nursing home rehabilitation stay, she unpacked her few and simple belongings along with the sad realization that her vascular dementia/Alzheimer’s diagnosis was causing her decline at a more rapid pace than we had yet to see so clearly.

The helpful woman we had known now needed help showering, finding her glasses, shuffling down simple steps, knowing which medications to take, and figuring out how to use the phone that she mistook as the remote control.

She wasn’t the only one who had changed. We all had to change. We had to adjust to less sleep and more responsibilities. Hearing different noises from Mom’s room would be our “call” to check on her for fear she might wander toward steps or other areas she was no longer familiar with in our home. We had to change our schedules, our outside commitments (job, ministries, time with family and friends), our daily expectations and even our attitudes. Sometimes the children had to rearrange school activities or time with friends. We all did our share of canceling things we really wanted to do because we felt the need to stay with mom. When therapists came, we would have to arrange (or rearrange) our day to be home to talk with them and learn what we had to do to help Mom.

We occasionally had to lovingly confront Mom’s self-centeredness (a part of the disease, not what she was like previously). She had become so selfish and negative, that even simple and every day conversation with her had become very challenging. We initiated the sharing of the “blessing of the day” and “how we were able to help or be kind to someone else”. This activity helped us to see the “positive” in each day, and how God was helping us through this time.

We all experienced changes, and noticed that our personal character development was as ongoing and constant as our care for Mom. We needed help to focus outside the world of care-giving and reach out to others. We had to accept criticism from others who thought things should be handled differently, causing us to take inventory of our own flaws and deficiencies when these criticisms come to us. These challenges continued to “redirect” us each day and moment to moment as we relied on the Holy Spirit to control and empower us. Frustrations lead us to the Lord as He taught us through His word, to do what we knew to be right, not just what was comfortable, easy or fun. He helped us to show unconditional love to Mom as He has shown to us. Because He gave us these challenges, we learned to be more loving in relationships, more purposeful in ministry, more creative with our use of time, and more reliant upon Him.

Mom Ferrini has been with the Lord a few years now. With one daughter married and the other on her own, we sense a new freedom in being able to differently consider the use of our time, talents, and treasures for our family and His work. We also sense, that while we are experiencing some freedom right now, there will be a time, probably not too far around the corner, when life will challenge us and we will once again be called to make some new and different choices . . . and we’ll learn again what continues to be “true”—that we don’t learn as much through the good and easy times, like we do – when life gets tough(er)!

We don't learn as much through the easy times like we do when life gets tough(er)! @CindiFerrini
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Winner Announced from Pearl Girls Survey!

Thanks to everyone who participated in the Pearl Girls Survey! We value your opinions and will take your suggestions to heart.

Congratulations to the winners, Pam Hudgins and Stacie D. Wyatt! We’ll be in touch with you soon to give you further details about claiming your prize.

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Pearl Girls Giveaway | Win Three Books (& A Winner Announced)!

We’ve had some great guest posts this month on Pearl Girls. We’d love to give you a chance to win a copy of their books!

Leave a comment below for your chance to win a copy of Dancing with Fireflies by Denise Hunter, 500 Hats of a Modern-Day Woman by Joyce K. Ellis, and It Had to Be You by Susan May Warren.

The winner of last month’s book giveaway is Teresa Sheroke. Please email elizabeth {at} litfusegroup {dot} com to claim your prize

P.S. Have you had a chance to take the Pearl Girls survey? Answer a couple of questions about the blog and you’ll be entered to win a $25 gift card of your choice! Hurry, the giveaway ends soon! Winners will be announced on Monday.

Win three great books on #PearlGirls blog @Grit_Grace
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He Will Walk With You | Carey C. Bailey

As a little girl, I loved baby dolls. Loved them! I played school, adoption agency, daycare operator and babysitter all day. I felt like I was born to be a mama. Therefore, I was a bit anxious when the ages, 22, 25, 28 and 32 came and went and there were no babies. Have you ever desired something so much and feared never getting it? That was me.

My day finally came at the age of 34. I soon realized that God knew what He was doing when He had me wait. To my shock, it wasn’t as easy as playing with dolls. I was surprised that it wasn’t the dream world I imagined it would be! I felt like life became a gigantic prayer.

“God, HELP me!”

“Please, God. Please, please, please make it all better. I can’t do this!”

“God, this feels impossible. Where are you?”

While I adore motherhood, it is harder and there are more adjustments than I expected. (I am hoping there are some nodding of heads and “Amens” being said out there in cyberworld.) Not only did I have a new life to care for, but my identity suddenly felt all scrambled up. It took me until my son was one to finally feel confident in my new role as a mother, confident that I could drop my child off at preschool without crying, confident that I could go out with the girls’ and the world wouldn’t fall apart, and confident that I could go on a date night and have conversations that didn’t revolve just around our son.

I was feeling settled in my new world and then WHAM! I discovered I was pregnant again. Can I be vulnerable with you? I actually cried when I found out. And they were not tears of joy. I feel awful saying that out loud, and I hope you will give me a moment to explain. It was not that I didn’t want another baby or feel like I couldn’t love a new life, it was just that I got scared. Discovering a little person was on the way sent a panic through me. Would my son still receive the love and attention that he deserved? How was my husband going to feel about my body changing again? Would I ever be able to pursue the vision I felt God had for me in writing and publishing? I was truly wondering if I was going to be able to handle another intense wave of identity crisis like the one I had just been through. I wasn’t sure.

God and I needed a serious talk. And in that conversation He carefully reminded me of this:

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

He reminded me in our time together that I, too, am His child and He has every intention of loving me, caring for me, and giving me the future that He has planned for me.

As mothers, we can get so caught up in parenting that we forget that we, too, have a spiritual parent who loves us as His child. He loves you as much as He loves the children He has given you. He will never forsake you.  And on those days when motherhood seems too overwhelming and too impossible I step back and take a deep breath. Then I remember that this journey I am on, right now, is the one He has designed and create uniquely for me. I simply need to live in it, learn from it, and allow His love to sweep over and through me.

He will walk with me! He will walk with you! Grab His hand.

When parenting begins to overwhelm, remember you have a spiritual parent to guide you @CareyCBailey
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Carey Bailey is a recovering perfectionist, wife, proud mama, and the Family Life Director for her church in Arizona. She hosts an online community for moms called Cravings: desiring God in the midst of motherhood where she strives to make God time easier. Not less meaningful, just easier. She is the author of Cravings {The Devotional} which is a set of forty devotional flashcards for the mama on the go. Visit Carey online blog: www.cravingstheblog.blogspot.com Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/CravingsOnline and Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/careycbailey/

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Daily Nutrition

Two newlyweds decided that their first pet should be a hamster, since taking care of it should be easy . . . or so they thought. After a few weeks of caring for the hamster, the excitement of having their first pet began to wear off. Soon after, the newlyweds forgot about feeding it and cleaning its cage every day. Instead, they decided it would be easier to feed it every three days, with three times its daily amount. This proved to be fatal to the poor hamster.

Sometimes our spiritual lives are like that. The busyness of our weekly events forces us to forget about feeding our souls daily, so, instead, we try to stuff our souls every few days or only on Sunday. We overwhelm ourselves and don’t get the proper spiritual nutrition our souls need. This is not healthy for us. A relationship with our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, requires a daily commitment. This week, try to read God’s Word and pray daily.

Our spiritual life requires nourishment everyday! #soulfood @grit_grace @remixher
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