Clementine Julep's Blog, page 31

URGE SURFING, A tool to quit bad habits.

KarmYog

URGE SURFING: A way to end bad habit.

The urge surfing is the skill of being aware about feelings and thoughts. It is the great tool for quitting bad habits.

The “craving” or “urge” is the reason why majority of the people are not able to quit their bad habits be it smoking or over eating.

There is one more thing that contributes to this and it is “Internal Struggle” it is the state of mind which arises when we get trigger about our bad habit and attention our mind gets divided into two thoughts ‘DO IT’ and ‘DON’T DO IT’.

Longer the amount of time that your mind remains in Internal struggle state, higher the chances of your repeating bad habit.

how Urge surfing can help ?

following are the steps which you should follow.

Don’t Judge the cravings “Whether it is good or bad?” Don’t try to drive…

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It is always who you are & never about the other person!

This is very hard to get and as more time passes, the more you understand this truth.

If you donate money, do you think of the person using it in a right way or waste it in unnecessary acts or trivias. Does his happiness matter or strictly his/her wellness pops up in your mind. And stop yourself from donating money and feel resentful later.

I stopped myself so many times from donating just by the thought that they will waste it on their alcohol indulgence. So, in my mind donating is equal to spoiling his life knowingly. But lately I am least bothered about what people will do with the donated money instead the ease with which you give the money makes the begger happy. That happy face in turn makes me happy. And what he does with it becomes the last thing to think about.

So, here you donate because of who you are and not because of who the person at the other end is.

If you feel guil and still somehow feel you are spoiling his life, remember it is his life and he has the free will to choose. You don’t have to uplift everybody. In fact you cannot uplift everybody. The people who need your help will automatically be helped by you! Never think you are doing an underservice. These just said lines are simple but I understood it after a long time later. And still learning the depths it contains!

Respect for all

I always thought that we should respect someone based on their acts and maybe their accomplishments. Ironically, the truth is everyone deserves respect and empathy. The y may have done horrible things in their life but ultimately it is you and not about them, first thing. Second, just accept them as they are. Life presents us with unexpected, unwelcomed experiences and sometimes we make wrong choices too. But accepting others flaws and past will unknowingly help you accept your own flaws and histories. It is a liberating healing process!

Thanks so much! Lots of love

Past, Everlasting Now & Future

What to think about Past?

All of these posts are a compilation of my realisations. So, there is no point in starting the line with, I realised !

The past has already been dealt with. For example, you’ve already become late or you’ve not completed your assignment within the deadline or maybe Yesterday you had a breakup with a friend or any childhood bad memories. The thing is, it has already passed and you don’t have to face them again. Why keep thinking of a memory that has already passed, you’ve already faced very painful emotions for it and it is done with.

Lessons

If you still keep thinking about it, sometimes it means you have something to learn from it. There is a lesson you have overlooked before. When you start coming up with possible explanations you would not agree with many of those. Interestingly, the lesson you need to learn will be something that you accept naturally. You will just know it. So, it is not some moral exercise, it is a personal growth process where your soul gets its tailor made lessons to grow from. In short, the lesson is meant only for you and it is a specific lesson instead of generalised lessons!

Fears

We all have some fears within us. But our soul is in its true form fearless. These fears have been formed from our pasts unbeknownst to us.

Ultimately, to live a richer, fulfilling life, you need to know what are your fears and the cause of your fears. Don’t put your efforts to find out the cause, it will find you on its own but you need to ask for it first.

Once, you learn your lessons and fears, the memory fades away. It will stop haunting you. You will be more open with people, become radiant, calm with a pleasing vibe. You will stay in happy moods all the time. You will start living in the Now alone. You will appreciate the beauty of all the creations of God. This is little bit of the someone you become to have a wholesome life.

What to think about future?

Anxiety. This is what we feel when something has gone wrong in the past. Since, you don’t have power over the future, things go worse. I realised that thinking of the outcomes of our past activities is useless activity.

The best is to think about your future is your most besotted dream. Keep thinking of yourself already there. The rest is not in our hands.

Ever lasting Now

This is the only time, you have complete power on. Leave behind your past and don’t think about your expected future outcome.

There is one more thing to know, changing your identity. This idea is borrowed from Atomic Habits by James Clear. The example that made me understand this is these two statement – a) I am trying to quite smoking b) I am not a smoker.

One is thinking about the outcome. The other has changed his identity.

Change your idea just like that. Nobody cares if you do it. Do it for yourself alone.

Thanks so much! Lots of love!

Change in another thought process

There is a vast difference in two areas of my life. One is my studies and the other is being productive in odd timings (let us say for example, flight transit, one whole hour for lunch break…)

Coming to my studies, there were times when I thought I may have taken the wrong carrier choice because I was not so interested in learning the subjects. And the final image looked dreary because to reach there means a lot of hard-work.

The basic flaw here is the thinking pattern which made it look like I am in the wrong place altogether. First, entirely skip the how of the image. By doing so, I only had to think if I liked the final image and not how I reached it and also not think of what all knowledge I need in my mind to operate in that image. When I think back, it took time for me to acclimatise with this kind of thinking pattern. After some unrelated-to-academic experiences, I realised that the universe will show the best way to reach that dream and all we have to do is to keep the image constantly in our mind and act on the best plan we can conjure then and improvise the plan as we go along.

So, I liked the idea of the final image a lot.

The next challenge was the current results, I was lucky to know before hand that it will take time to bring these thoughts into form. And that the current results are based on the previous thoughts. Also, it takes time to get into the habit of being aware of what we think all day long and changing it according to the final image in a confident and unabashed manner. Lastly but most importantly feeling from the final image.

From the above paragraphs I would like to highlight three major points – 1) set goal and keep thinking as if you already accomplished it. 2) keep purifying your thoughts 3) just not think but feel as if you are already there, it is an accomplished fact!

Purifying Thoughts – Yesterday, I purified myself from one of my most negative, nagging memory and its associated memories and emotions. Surprisingly, I thought I was already free from that memory but yesterday was the day it happened. You will feel very light when it happens and that is a sign that you are free from it. The thing that freed me was the realisation that despite me having that kind of an experience and emotions for years (the experience was very subtle in nature, almost insignificant but it impacted me for years), I can still live a dream life. The past will stay but we should not carry it and just Let It Go. When you really, really let it go, you will respect yourself so fully and completely.

Today, I read a book which emphasises on going through one negative experience at a time and remind ourselves that the past doesn’t matter, any thoughts of unworthiness are false irrespective of whoever said it and to trust on the magnificent creation that we are and the world we live on.

Thanks so much! Shall be continued later…

Be like the person you dream to be

image from twitter @nature_scenery_

This is an advice that is taking a lot of time to seep into me. Out of all the ways to start, the best of them is to dress like that person. It makes you feel so good, you can’t help but feel like that person already.

Actually before dressing, you first imagine how you look like in your dream and make all the external changes required like dress, accessories, hairstyle, perfume…

The opposite way is to feel like that person from within. By applying repeated autosuggestions and affirmations. This method takes its own time and this is what I am using right now. And making little changes in appearance, mostly unconscious. Like I cut my hair more than usual by mistake but it matched the image I had in my mind (I was affirming for it sometime before and later forgot about it). And I didn’t know it took the same care but just in a different spaced cycle and viola it is almost near that image.

So, the image is done from within or from appearance which ultimately makes you feel like that dream person.

Merci beaucoup! Have an in the moment day!

What to do when you feel like you are in the middle of nowhere?

image from dreamstime.com

Recently, I didn’t know what exactly I should be acting on next. There were no little wins I could achieve that day. My dream looks so far away and I don’t know the next best action to take for it. A very keen desire to win the day was consuming me. Actually, it took some time to recognize this feeling itself. More better way of putting it is I want to celebrate a win !

In situations like this, I think helping someone is the best option. Their happiness can be borrowed!

Also, one other time, I played badminton (I rarely play sports) to keep my mind free of thinking random thoughts and focus on one thing.

I am learning something totally new but the beginning is tough and the ‘win feeling’ is for the future.

What are your ways to overcome this restless win quick feeling?

Thanks so much lots of love!

How much crazy can you get?

image from Pandotrip.com

It is said that we need to think from our goal. Now, how to do it?

I am still learning but I do know better now than I knew before.

So, the adventure that I am focussing now is to earn £1,000,000/- every month and decided to set the date as ‘NOW’. (Well, the aim is infinitely higher than what I already earn today and as of this day I can only ‘imagine’ how it would be like. Soon, everything will fall into place as all matters of manifestations are)

Keeping in mind that I earn £1,000,000/- every month, the first thing I did is to divide it into percentages each for savings, investments, charity, expenses. So, by keeping 10% for expenses it would be £100,000/- .

Next, I am planning to visit an event from one of my mentors in the first week of May in Canada and see my other mentors near Los Angeles. So, I booked for first class tickets, booked for hotels, of course, booked for the event itself…ALL MENTALLY. We are free always to imagine whatever we want and I did it in my mind. Notice, I booked first class tickets because I realised in my imagination I am free to select whatever I want. And I didn’t need to discount my wants in my imagination!

After all this process, I realised all of these expenses + investment was way too affordable with £100,000/-. I am sharing this because I thought may be a million pounds won’t be enough for the first short term goals I’d set.

Lesson to learn – Explore the places, things you have in your dream. Speak with the people. This is an important step to start. Most importantly, you are making yourself feel comfortable at the level you are aiming at. Thereby, emotionalizing and in turn bringing your dream infinitely closer to you!

Thanks so much And lots of love!

Certain Ways of Thinking!

“Work as though you would live forever, and live as though you would die today. Go another mile!”

― Og Mandino

I am a person for whom it easy to take a break than work. So, I focus on the first part of the quote. If you are the kind of person who works most of the time, it is better to focus on the second part of the quote. Or if you are the person who seasonally becomes one and the other, focus on the part that suits best.

Whenever I think of work, I think of the whole bunch of things to do. The load will be so huge that I don’t even start. But there where some experiences in my life when I just didn’t care of the magnanimity of the task. Also, the outcome didn’t matter to me at all as each bits and pieces of the huge load were wonderful to do one by one.

In an overview, there are big goals which can be of two types.

One of the types is where the goal will be heavenly to live in but the tasks that we start with a flexible plan in mind looks laborious, boring, totally uninteresting.

Second type of goals are also heavenly in nature but the best part is each of the step involved in it is also equally heavenly, rewarding, fun and relishing to do.

According to the goal we set and according to the person concerned, the set goal can be any of these types. I have both types of goals, one in one area of life and the other in another area.

Important Note

The thing that you need to stick to is no matter what type of goal you have, you should always do something “everyday”.

Out of the huge load, succeed completing a small part of it every single day. Again, “work as though you would live forever”. So, when time becomes infinite in our mind (in this case), would it not be inspiring to do that small task in a real good way, relaxedly, enjoying it and complete it. That is how every small work should be done.

Now, if I had a deadline tomorrow and it naturally means that I should complete the huge load today itself. But you just cannot do it at the conscious level. So, the best option to choose is to complete one part of the load that day. If that completes earlier then go for the next one. It is way better option than fretting about the huge load, doing nothing or giving up on it entirely.

Life is not about that one deadline, it is a whole unexplored sea in front of us. So, keep moving ahead like you are gonna live forever and making sure you succeed in completing a small part of the huge junk everyday!

Thanks so much! Lots of love!

‘The Laws’ book will be available for free from today!

I got to know a few search words on google searching for free pdf of this book. As it is a public domain book, I thought I will let it free anyway. Thanks so much! So, here it is –

the-laws-1Download

New Section!

The next best course will be to discuss the application of whatever I’ve been explaining.

Remember the introduction for this journal, Learning How to Live A Quality Life where I put a disclaimer saying about a goal that I set and that I’ve not achieved it yet.

On similar lines, I am going to discuss certain challenges that I am targeting on and whose outcomes are left for the future to decide. It will be a proper journal. Also, I want to discuss what points I keep in mind at each juncture out of this huge lot I’ve shared about.

Before I share my on-going experiences, I want to give a prologue to get a better idea!

First, there are two things that we need to break down.

a) We have a big dream or vision that is too far from where we are.

b) Also, we aim at all areas of our life simultaneously.

Both these together makes it an overwhelming task for achievement. So, what to do to make both things happen? We need to apply prioritization process. By applying 80/20 rule, we have to pick an area in our life that is the most hit or the area whose improvement can drastically improve all other areas of our life [or the area of your life where (a place), with whom and on what tasks you spend most of your time on]

The area that I gave most importance at first is on the area that promised me the most emotional freedom (free from negative emotions and at the same time freely expressing my thoughts) and this area was where I spend most of my time, home and family. It was a very slow process when compared to the pace we would like it to be. In the beginning, I didn’t even expect that it could be turned beautiful. But, from where I stand now, it is getting better and better everyday beyond anything I thought of.

The other area, I wanted to focus on at the same time was my academics. But when I imagined of achieving the goals, it didn’t make me feel that emotional freedom that I wanted most importantly. So for the sake of achieving an emotional stability, I let this area to go as usual. I couldn’t even think of academics then and I became fearless to let it take its own course. Luckily, even though things didn’t go well in this area but it didn’t go worse either and it was worth the emotional stability that I got in return.

Jim Rohn said something along these similar lines and that is – You are trading a part of your life for work. So, don’t waste the time, value the time and spend that time wholly on completing the tasks at hand. Complete it in a great way. Don’t mix work and play. When at work, work and when outside work, only enjoy and not work!

I just felt like sharing it.

Thanks so much! Have a wonderful day!