Clementine Julep's Blog, page 2

Eid!

I hope you have a beautiful Eid celebrations!

The exam has been postponed to august 3rd.

I am doing what I can do with a cheerful mindset.

Sometimes I feel very anxious. So, I keep listening to music of different genres.

Love you guys . Hopefully, I get through this and come out beautifully. Insha Allah

What I see in my future?

Stand up for what matters to you unyieldingly

I thought everything is getting sorted in my life except my medical career. But today somethings happened which made me feel that everything is just the same as before. The only thing that changed is, I support and understand myself, nothing else changed.

With whatever stats I know, I won’t be able to clear this upcoming post graduation entrance exam on June 15th.

So, I just want to leave behind this medical career behind after this exam. If I do want to continue the pursuit, I have to grind another year, adding to it the insults, no confidence issue from everyone around me. Most importantly without a backup financial cushion to just run away from all this. I just don’t have the fight in me anymore to feel financially empty and take insults and make it work.

I want to be financially sound first. All I want is to write something and enjoy. If income comes it is great. Even if no income comes, I’ll be happy!

If I discontinue medical career, I would also choose not to marry until I am successful in something. Even if I turn 30 by that time. It won’t do otherwise.

I have only a few days left for the exam, probably my last few days I will study this material. I have to give it my all to not make it the last time.

This emoji is coming up frequently as I typed this blog so as well put it

Thanks so much! Love u

Attached to singlehood to marraigehood

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Never stop dreaming big

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Oh, oh, oh love, marriage and telepathy 💗

I had a very strong telepathic connection just a few moments ago and thought I will acknowledge it whoever it is.

I love this song for now and it is in loop –

Lets see what I have come with terms with love, marriage and family. 

I want a strong, lasting, companionable marriage. I want a safe, warm home.

I have come to an understanding that such marriage has nothing to do with sparks fly and love bombing kind.

If I cross him across a crowded street, I won’t even notice him because he doesn’t stand out in the crowd.

If not sparks fly then I think love is boring and ordinary. Love is mild, comfy, soft. Not overwhelming and all consuming one.

When I think about him and how I should be with him, I don’t get anywhere. But when I think about home, I have to clean it, I have to cook food for three meals, laundry, tea or coffee, bringing up children, making it comfortable, entertaining guests and into all that his contributions. Him taking care of all the finances. These thoughts gets me to the end game. A person who fits in this image.

A person who I love playing home with . As simply put as that.

Thanks so much. Love you

Accepting self and feel good

I liked this post becuz the person is comfortable with themself and even makes others feel good. Not becuz of the haunting stalkiness…

I have been going through great content on great marriage. I realised the best advice is to choose a person who is at peace with whatever happened in their past and who is at peace with their other half’s pasts also.

Also, marriage should be a relationship where you feel comfortable and can open up to your partner.

Acceptance and creating a safe space is the best advice I received till now.

Thanks so much! Love you

Love 😘

The moral of this story is to keep running, running, running until you find the one. I am kidding. But she mentions a line that she kept running and I felt like… I should start from there

To be honest I do running. Not outdoors. In my room, jog at place, you know. But it still gives the vibe, running, running, running

I really liked this video becuz it appealed to me in more than one way. The moment where she was like ‘is it wrong to date to end up getting married, I am traditional ok’. And then her beautifully explaining dating outside her type. Someone handsome, who doesn’t need her to fix him. Most importantly her knowing before hand that things are gonna turn around the corner, a few days before hand and then him appearing. I like such predicting feelings.

So, like many times, there is this question that what do I want from my hubby, what am I looking for?

I made so many lists, threw it, wrote it,  threw it..

Now, I have come up with a much original, too specific and lengthy one.

After writing it, I got to know we need to simplify it into three top qualities…

I wrote it, then wrote it, then added a few more… Making it lengthy again.

But out of all this process, I realised something that pushed my obsessive college crush completely out of my mind. Like I can never picture him as such anymore. I was already almost over him by then but not that 100% level. And now it’s 100%…

I could see it through a different lens, where I realised he is a dominant type. And I can not be myself, do all this stupid plannings, fail at or being averagely ambitious in my medical career. Him and my vision don’t align. I don’t find anything in him to like him like that. So, I finally got my closure without having to meet him.

As for my list, the super simplified version. Worked so hard to make it and then shorten it. Even more than my novels

Super simplify
1) modern yet religious
2) mature
3) aligning in our thinking and dreams
4) loves my stupidity (ofc never calls me one ) and gamey type

Because of the near approaching exam, I am not able to sense the predicting feeling. But it’s okay.

Thanks so much. Love youu

Manifestation experiments…

Today, after a very long time I did experience something different in the manifestation area.

I was browsing the Indian young billionaires’ net worths. I thought whether I was aiming too low. So, I changed the goal that I had kept it in on my phone’s home screen.

After a few hours, I was listening to ‘you were born rich’ an old seminar by Bob Proctor. He was telling a story where a client manifested their dream on the date they had written on.

Also, unlike other times, this particular date I had written previously was something I had secretly dreamed of for quite a few years. It has not even reached that special date and I changed it…

So, I reinstated the old goal and date thinking of changing it after the date has passed. Even better after the goal has been attained if so by then. Or else I’ll upgrade it

Thanks so much love

Telepathy?!

I don’t know guys how to say this but it does exist.

I don’t want to get into a detailed explanation of my experiences which were very  few and  unintentionally had occurred. But I just experienced this vey second a telepathy from someone I have never met or spoken to but know a little to say that it is not from a complete stranger. It felt great, reassuring and out of the world. After a few seconds, I felt like irrelevant and thinking what to do with it.

Like was this person really testing me?

Anyways, I can’t take much time to think about it. I am sorry if this post was of no use. And do whatever you want with this information.

Thanks so much! Love and peace dears

Just made me wonder

Greetings,

It has been a long time since I last wrote my post. Hope everything is fine at your end. Mine is a little jumpy considering my nearing post graduation entrance exam and my scary study habits.

I wanted to share a few moments when I felt, I never thought of it like that…

I have been reading a novel which I’ll mention later. It was about a wedding arrangement. And how much importance the author built up to that occasion. It is not just about what the bride wants. It’s about what their parents dreamed it to be.

It is a wedding that just happens once. So, my ideas of a super simple wedding were completely dropped. I want to be dressed grandly, elegantly and beautifully.  My dad as well as me want it to be a destination wedding though somewhere in my country itself. Inviting only a few near and dear ones. I want all my parents’ and sister’s wishes on how my wedding should be, to be fulfilled.

It should be a memorable wedding.

I’ll quote a few lines from the book on honeymoon where the heroine is convincing the hero which in turn convinced me too

Luke, there are so many things I’ve never done. I’ve never really traveled. I’ve never seen the world. Neither have you.”

But there are other great cities, all over the world. I want to see those too. Sydney. Hong Kong … and not just cities!” I spread my arms. “Rivers … mountains … all the sights of the world …”

. “Luke, this is the time to do it. While we’re still young. Before we have children. Just picture it. The two of us, wandering through the world. Seeing amazing sights. Learning from other cultures.”

Everyone has seen the world except me. I never even had a gap year. I never did go to Australia, or Thailand …”

I haven’t done anything! You know, Suze’s mother’s best friend in the whole world is a Bolivian peasant.” I look at Luke impressively. “They ground maize together on the plains of the Llanos!”
“You want to grind maize on our honeymoon?” “I just think maybe we should broaden our horizons a bit. Like … go backpacking, maybe.” “Becky, are you aware of the concept of backpacking?” says Luke mildly. “All your possessions in one rucksack. Which you have to carry . Not FedEx.” “I could do that!” I say indignantly. “Easily! And we’d meet loads of really interesting people—” “I know interesting people already.” “You know bankers and PR people! Do you know any Bolivian peasants? Do you know any homeless people?”

Shopaholic ties the knot by Sophie Kinsella

These lines and a few more didn’t change my stubborn plans but definitely made me think what if!

Thanks so much. Love you