Fern Schumer Chapman's Blog, page 6
January 28, 2024
Why siblings in Holocaust families struggle to get along
Siblings respond differently to parents’ Holocaust trauma, causing estrangement.
KEY POINTS
Children of Holocaust survivors either remain enmeshed with their families or alienated from them.Parents either exposed children to personal horror stories or said nothing about their experiences.Children of survivors became “parents” to their own parents, soothing their anxieties and allaying their fears.Genocidal trauma not only kills family members; it also ruptures the family for generations to come.
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January 22, 2024
Stockstadt Evangelical Church’s heartfelt obituary for my mother
The Stockstadt’s Evangelical Church’s most recent newsletter honestly recounts my mother’s early life in Germany in its obit for her. In 2014, the Church apologized to my mother and me for not protecting her during the Holocaust. Here is the translation:Oldest Jewish woman from Stockstadt diesEdith Schumer-Westerfeld died on Sunday, January 14, 2024. Edith Therese Westerfeld was born in Stockstadt in 1925. Her parents were respected citizens. They ran a cattle and horse trade and traded in fruit, feed, and seeds. They were active members of clubs in Stockstadt. Edith’s grandfather Isidor Westerfeld had gone to war for Germany in the 1914-18 war and returned injured.Edith and her sister Betty, who was two years older, attended school in Stockstadt. But exclusion and persecution during the Nazi era led to the death and flight of the family. The system’s hatred of Jews spread to all classes and life became unbearable for Jewish families. Siegmund Westerfeld was beaten bloody in the town hall. Jewish playmates and schoolmates became outcasts, Jewish friends and neighbors became outlaws.To save the children, Betty was sent by her parents in 1937 and Edith in 1938 with the Jewish Children’s Service to live with relatives in the USA. There they survived, but lived separately from each other.Edith married and her daughter Fern Schumer-Chapman visited Stockstadt several times with her mother. Today she is an author and also devotes herself to school visits to raise awareness about the persecution of Jews by the National Socialists and to work for tolerance and peace. In her book “Motherland … after the Holocaust,” the American describes her mother’s trip to Germany in 1990.The Westerfeld family’s house once stood at Vorderstrasse 4. Today the post office, formerly the home of Bäder, is located there. The stumbling blocks commemorating the family were laid there in 2013. The confirmation candidates cleaned them in November and laid roses in remembrance.Edith’s parents were Siegmund Westerfeld and his wife Frieda Westerfeld, née Kahn. Edith’s grandmother, Sara Westerfeld, née Hertz, also lived in the house. She died disenfranchised and humiliated on March 24, 1939 at the age of 79 without her grandchildren being able to say goodbye to her.Edith’s parents were victims of persecution. Siegmund Westerfeld died in 1941 in the Sachsenhausen concentration camp north of Berlin. Frieda Westerfeld had to live in a so-called Jewish house on Eschollbrücker Strasse in Darmstadt until she was deported to the Lublin ghetto in Poland. The Stockstadt parish will honor the Westerfeld family’s memory!
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January 18, 2024
January 17, 2024
Stitches of Love
In her 98 years, my mother always had a foot in two worlds. “Oma,” who fled Nazi Germany for America, learned to embroider in school in Stockstadt am Rhein. In her last years, she colorfully embellished hand towels for family and friends. Many people around the world now have these special tokens to remember her. She taught me how to stitch, and I have shared this skill with the women in our family. Mom was still working on a few hand towels when she passed away yesterday. We will finish her handiworks of love.
Edith Therese Westerfeld
1925- 2024
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December 19, 2023
Betrayal Blindness: Not Seeing What’s Obvious
Research on attachment reveals why the betrayed stay in a state of denial.
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December 13, 2023
Oh, Brother (or Sister)!
New article that captures the essence of sibling relationships and their challenges.
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December 6, 2023
Is It Sibling Rivalry or Sibling Abuse?
Sibling victimization, “the forgotten abuse,” is three times more common than school bullying and it often leads to estrangement in adulthood.
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November 20, 2023
15 Tips for the Estranged to Cope with the Holidays
How to n
avigate negative emotions, seasonal hype, and family events.
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November 4, 2023
Why Black Families Feel Intensely the Stigma of Estrangement
Chimére L. Sweeney, an advocate for Black women and founder of The Black Long Covid Experience, explains why Blacks may not want to admit they have estranged relatives — especially to whites.
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November 3, 2023
Huff Post features FSC in article about sibling rivalry
Here’s how to mend a sibling rivalry that’s lasted into adulthood.
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