Fern Schumer Chapman's Blog, page 4

What might be driving a difficult sibling relationship…

In many cases of sibling estrangement, a troubling realization dawns on a brother or sister over time: the toxic nature of the relationship stems from one sibling’s narcissistic tendencies.It’s painful to recognize that the person you share blood with, someone you were supposed to trust and rely on, may be the source of ongoing emotional turmoil and distress. Narcissistic behaviors such as manipulation, gaslighting, and a lack of empathy can deeply fracture sibling bonds, leaving the estranged sibling grappling with feelings of betrayal and confusion.Acknowledging the role of narcissism in sibling dynamics is crucial for understanding and healing. It’s not about assigning blame; it’s about gaining insight into the root causes of the estrangement. By recognizing these patterns, siblings can begin to set boundaries, prioritize their well-being, and seek support as they navigate this complex journey.How have you coped with a sibling’s narcissistic dynamics?

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School service learning projects make a difference in communities!

Have you heard about service learning? It’s an innovative educational approach where students take on classroom projects that make a real difference in their communities.

In my book, “Middle School Sleuths,” eighth-graders at Madison Junior High School completely altered the lives of two 86-year-old Holocaust refugees. The students reunited the two best friends 72 years after their long-ago immigration journey. The two unaccompanied minors, who became inseparable on the ship from Nazi Germany to America, lost touch with each other in 1938.

Through hard work, compassion, and determination, students helped these best friends find each other again in 2011. The two women were able to resume their friendship, giving each other comfort, love, and support during the last years of their lives.

“Middle School Sleuths” not only tells the incredible story of this reunion, but it also showcases the power of service learning projects. By connecting classroom lessons with real-world applications, students learn invaluable life skills, empathy, and the importance of community.

Dive into this heartwarming and inspiring story, and see how the actions of young minds can make a world of difference. Perfect for educators, students, and anyone who believes in the transformative potential of education.

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What to say to someone who is experiencing estrangement

 

Family cutoffs are common, yet most people don’t know how to support the estranged. My latest blog post delves into what to say to someone experiencing estrangement and offers ideas on how to provide meaningful support to those who need it most.

Family estrangement is both common and stigmatized; it has become a kind of ‘Me Too’ movement. Many feel misunderstood by well-meaning but unaware friends and family who urge them to ‘get over it’ or ‘move on.’ But HOW can we truly support the estranged?

Read more here:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/brothers-sisters-strangers/202406/what-to-say-to-someone-who-is-experiencing-estrangement

Please share some of the ways you’ve successfully supported family or friends who are estranged .

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Book about memorial stones for Holocaust victims

Reflecting on the past, honoring the present. Photo of Stumbling Stones in Stockstadt am Rhein, Germany, to remember those who fled or were murdered during the Holocaust.Returning to her ancestral town 76 years after she fled, my mother and I witnessed the installation of these memorial stones for her family. The event, which served as a kind of funeral for those who have no place of remembrance, is documented in my book ‘Facing the Past.’In the book, we delve deeper into this journey, exploring the emotions, memories, and reflections that arose during this significant moment of historical commemoration. The book cultivates empathy and reminds readers that the act of remembering is the most powerful memorial of all.Have you got your copy yet?https://www.amazon.com/Facing-Past-Memorial…/dp/B0CTHQTF3N

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Perilous Moments in a Sibling Relationship

Sibling relationships can be some of the most complex connections in our lives. For many, there are pivotal moments—turning points—that dramatically alter the dynamic with our brothers or sisters.

Which “turning points” in your relationship with your sibling(s) altered your connection? How did things change? Have you ever found yourself asking, “How did this happen?”

Whether a specific event, a gradual drift, or a sudden realization, these moments can shape our lives in profound ways. Your story might resonate with someone going through a similar experience, or you might find comfort in knowing you’re not alone.

Let’s share our experiences! Drop your thoughts and stories in the comments below. Here you’ll find a supportive space where you can reflect, connect, and learn from other journeys.

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Sibling relationships can be some of the most complex con...

Sibling relationships can be some of the most complex connections in our lives. For many, there are pivotal moments—turning points—that dramatically alter the dynamic with our brothers or sisters.

Which “turning points” in your relationship with your sibling(s) altered your connection? How did things change? Have you ever found yourself asking, “How did this happen?”

Whether a specific event, a gradual drift, or a sudden realization, these moments can shape our lives in profound ways. Your story might resonate with someone going through a similar experience, or you might find comfort in knowing you’re not alone.

Let’s share our experiences! Drop your thoughts and stories in the comments below. Here you’ll find a supportive space where you can reflect, connect, and learn from other journeys.

The post appeared first on Fern Schumer Chapman.

Agreeing to Terms of Engagement to repair a broken relationship

Sisters avoid old hurts and identify safe topics to mend their broken relationship. They ask what’s necessary: Admitting wrongdoing? An apology? Forgiveness?

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A sunflower and my mother’s remarkable resilience

My wonderful friend, Kathryn Gilbert, sent this photo to me. She is preparing to plant the sunflower seeds we distributed at my mother’s Celebration of Life ceremony.

In my favorite photo of Mom, she is encouraging the sunflower she planted in “Oma’s Patch” to grow. And it did! It grew so tall that it towered over all the raised beds at her senior residence. That summer, her Jack-in-the-Beanstalk became a tourist attraction for residents and visitors.

The next summer, Mom decided she didn’t want to plant another sunflower because it took up too much room in her garden. But the original plant had dropped seeds, and Sunflower 2.0 made its appearance — a symbol of Mom’s joy and remarkable resilience.

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Students respond to Middle School Sleuths

Always thrilling to receive mail from young readers. These wonderful illustrations are from 5th grade students at Crestview Heights Elementary School in Waldport, OR. They read IS IT NIGHT OR DAY? and MIDDLE SCHOOL SLEUTHS. Thanks to Liz Ulmer for introducing my work to her students!Wish Mom could see their work; I appreciate their condolences.

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Broadening National Siblings Day to Include the Estranged

Ever wonder how National Siblings Day got started. Learn all about its founder and the controversy surrounding the day.

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