Todd Perelmuter's Blog, page 45
February 7, 2023
How to Live a Conscious, Meaningful Life
On trial for corrupting the minds of his students, for which he was sentenced to death, Socrates defended himself by saying, “The unexamined life is not worth living.”
While many scholars may see this phrase as evidence that he meant we should sit around lost in thought, I believe Socrates was pointing to something much deeper. To examine, we must observe. To observe, we must look closely. To look closely requires us to get out of our heads and to see reality beyond thought, judgments and our own limited perception.
When Socrates approached a topic, he brought stillness to it. If he came to a topic of inquiry with a conclusion or theory in mind, the true answer would be closed off to him. Only if he approached life with openness and curiosity, presence and focus, could the answers appear to him. This is what it means to live consciously. This is what Ram Dass did when he would respond to difficulties in life by saying, “Well isn’t this interesting.”
Most of us cling to our mental stories. We subconsciously think life will be boring without them. Or, we think we will lose our mental faculties if we let go of the constant mind chatter. In truth, the mind chatter blocks us off from fully experiencing our lives. With constant mental activity, we try to create meaning instead of letting meaning flow through us, and so we attempt to grasp for that thing we already have. We’re just so busy thinking that we miss it. Often, we’re so busy thinking about what makes a meaningful life that we forget to have one.
When I was a young lad living in New York City, there was never a dull moment. I was always rushing and usually running late to some exciting event. I had a full schedule, but not a fulfilling one. Once I slowed down, started to appreciate the beauty all around me, and started creating some space to breathe, the meaning found me.
There is so much going on these days that puts our brains into hyperactive mode. From social media stress (more on “how to use social media mindfully” in my video) to money worries (more on “how to deal with money anxiety” in my latest podcast), it’s become almost normal to be in a subtle state of panic and fear. But, these chaotic times also provide us a unique opportunity to deepen our practice and show us the work we still have left to do.
Whenever you find yourself in such situations and not feeling the loving presence of oneness, remember these 3 things:
The energy that animates me is the same energy that animates you. It is the same energy that animates all life on this planet. It has been passed onto each of us ever since the first single-celled organism came into being. The more you look past people’s physical surface, the more you will see the oneness in all living things.We all have an inexplicable drive to live, to love, and to be loved. Every animal – and even plants we’re now learning – strives to live, takes care of their young, and lives in balance with each other. Generosity, kindness, and compassion are survival mechanisms we each possess and can help us witness the oneness of this universe.Every single person at some point in their life is either in need of someone to help lift them up, or is in a position to lift up others. The most important gift we can give another human being is joy in whatever form that may be. When you have joy, give joy. Help others experience it so that they may be able to pass it on to even more people. This is how the world changes. Getting Stuck in Polarities of Life Get Peace & Calm DeliveredReceive the tools and insights for living a life free from fear, negativity and stress.
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February 2, 2023
Path to Peace What to Do When Anxious About Money?
All of us since we were very little children, started developing a relationship around money. Unless you were born in the top 1 percent, that relationship has probably had some degree of stress and anxiety. It's only normal. We need it and there never seems to be enough of it.
Obviously we can't eat money, but it can certainly buy food, and so, we treat money like we used to treat food. The problem is, in the very olden days we'd go hunting or foraging for food. Today, we can't just go looking for money. And so, we stress extra.
But does stress help our money situation? If not, why are we clinging to our money anxiety? How can we let go of it? How can we both handle our finances better, AND deal with our money anxiety? In today's podcast, I explore these questions and more.
Please enjoy other episodes where Todd shares meditation techniques, tips and spiritual lessons from around the world for peaceful and stress-free living. Remember to subscribe to stay up-to-date.
One small positive message can uplift our day. Get your dose of positivity at https://www.youtube.com/toddperelmuter
Like what I’m doing? Support the show at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/toddperel.
I answer spiritual questions from people on my weekly Path to Peace newsletter. Join the community of like-minded beautiful souls right at https://www.eastwesticism.org
You can find my books on Amazon, Audible, BarnesandNoble.com, and anywhere else you get your books.
The post Path to Peace What to Do When Anxious About Money? appeared first on EastWesticism.
January 31, 2023
8 Ways for Coping with Cancer Through Meditation
Many people ask me if meditation is good for coping with cancer. “How can I find the good in cancer?” is another question I get asked all too often. As someone who has seen many loved ones go through this battle, this is a deeply personal topic for me.
The fact of the matter is, cancer is one of the worst, scariest things many people will ever go through. When you’re in pain for months or even years, seeing the good can feel impossible.
I won’t pretend I know what you’re going through. I won’t tell you it’s a blessing in disguise. But what I will share with you are some ways to turn this terrible, no good, very bad diagnosis into something that can bring some relief to you and others.
In this article, I’ll share a few ways to look at cancer differently and hopefully provide some useful wisdom and simple steps you can take to bring you a bit more peace of mind.
1. Have an Attitude of Curiosity And Discovery
Change and challenges bring opportunities for growth and transformation. In fact, there can be no spiritual awakening without challenges. The Buddha sought out and discovered a path to end all suffering after he was exposed to the extreme suffering in our world.
In this lens, labels like “bad” cannot exist, because we use hard times to grow and evolve. Without struggle, there would be no evolution, no change, and we would all still be single-celled organisms living in some primordial ooze.
As difficult as it can be to see sometimes, all change can be welcomed with an attitude of curiosity and discovery. Sometimes change can be difficult to face, but we either fight with reality or we make peace with it. This is where our choice lies.
Meditation can be one such powerful tool in coping with cancer by helping us become more conscious of our thoughts and thus diminishing the power of our negative thoughts. The practice of meditation is quite simply the practice of directing our attention so that we have greater control over our thoughts and emotions.
2. Help Others Cope With Cancer
It may not be easy when we are immobilized or dealing with a lot of pain and mental stress, but finding some way – even small ways – to help others heal our souls.
If you are going in for cancer treatments to a hospital, you may meet other people with cancer. See how you can lift up their spirits or make their lives a little better.
Maybe you bring in their favorite music to play during their treatments.
Maybe you just sit with them, listen to them, and share with them some comforting words. After all, attention is one of the best gifts we can give anyone.
Perhaps rides to the hospital could be shared. Maybe you bring them their favorite candy or book. Or you both may wish to learn something new together, like yoga or meditation.
Maybe there are organizations that help people going through an illness that you could get involved with. There are many ways to help others and it is always rewarding and the easiest way to turn something negative into a positive.
3. Appreciate the Time You Have
Most people do not appreciate the little time we have on this earth. People facing illness or even people who have had near-death experiences know the euphoria that can come from realizing that time is precious, the little things that used to get us upset no longer matter, and the need to make the most of every single moment.
Coping with cancer through meditation teaches us that every moment is a gift. This is why the fear of death is so strong because underneath our worries and fears and pain is an insatiable love for life. No one knows how many moments on earth we have left, but what matters is how much we appreciate the ones we do.
4. Focus on What Matters
Make this an opportunity to really prioritize the things you love. See as many sunsets as you can. Take as many nature walks as possible. Stare at the stars. Learn a new skill that you’ve always wanted to learn.
Consider your diagnosis an opportunity for spring cleaning your life. Set aside what doesn’t add to your joy, peace and well-being. Fill your days as best you can with positivity, love and laughter.
When things come up that you wish you didn’t have to do, see those too as an opportunity to transform your perspective and see it as a welcomed challenge for our growth and happiness.
One of the best quotes I’ve ever heard was by Eckhart Tolle who said, “Accept every moment as if you had chosen it.” While this may seem incredibly difficult, it is also incredibly simple and profound.
5. Focus on Who Matters
One terrible fact about becoming ill is that it will make some friends and family members uncomfortable. Meditation is a great way to cope with the anxiety from cancer and even isolation. If friends become distant, while it may be painful, it has nothing to do with the person who is ill and everything to do with the other person. Don’t take it personally. Instead, find your tribe.
Find those people who lift you up, who beam with light when they see you, who fill your heart with love. There are so many of these wonderful people on our planet. They are the ones worth our time.
If someone becomes distant, let them go. You deserve to be surrounded by positivity and love. The ones who stay will be those people. They may not know what to say or what to do, but they don’t leave. You can help them understand and you can both grow personally and spiritually together.
Make extra time for family and friends and make it extra special. Strong relationships, building bonds, and loving one another are why we’re all here.
6. Live More Fully Every Single Day
Make “extra” your mantra. Smile extra, be extra compassionate, be extra courageous, be extra gracious, be extra kind to yourself, and be extra happy by doing extra things you love to do. You deserve it.
Do whatever it is you need to do to take care of yourself and let go of any guilt that comes with it. Take that trip you’ve always wanted. Take a million spa days. Do whatever strikes your fancy. You can use meditation to cope with cancer and lift your spirit up, and you can even go on a meditation retreat if your treatment allows it. There are many free meditation retreats all over the world that rely solely on donations that can truly transform our perspective on life.
You have total permission to love yourself fully with every cell of your body. No regrets, no insecurity, no self-doubts, no worries, no judgment. You know best what you need.
7. Stay Present, Observe, Process
I once read on a T-shirt someone was wearing in India, “Pain is mandatory. Suffering is optional.” This is such a beautiful spiritual message from such a spiritual place. The meaning of this shirt is that we will all experience pain – those electrical signals that are sent to our brain that tell us something is going on in our body.
Suffering on the other hand is when our brain reacts to the pain by screaming, “This is the worst!” Instead of reacting though, we can simply stay present and observe the sensations without labeling or judgments. It is difficult at first but it is very possible and meditation can even make it very easy to learn.
Studies have shown that practicing this power of present observation through meditation actually lessens our experience of pain! While our instinct tells us to look away and ignore the pain, turning our attention towards it is like taking a powerful painkiller with no side effects.
In that same vein, many people diagnosed with illness will try hard to distract themselves from their new reality. They will dive deeper into their work or they will distract themselves with TV or movies in order to avoid their feelings and thoughts. While it may seem like a good idea, this often creates permanent underlying stress, fear, and doubt that negatively affect everything we do and can even erupt to the surface from time to time.
How to Stay PresentIt is vitally important to either meditate or just spend some time every day alone with our thoughts. Meditation can help in coping with cancer by helping us stay present and observe the sensations in our body, our thoughts, and our emotions. The more we can process our thoughts and feelings, the more we can heal, transform, and grow spiritually.
Keep a close eye on whenever the mind says things that make the suffering worse or create resistance to whatever is happening. Things like: “This shouldn’t be happening.” “Why me?” “This isn’t fair.”
Simply observe these thoughts and recognize the deeper underlying truth of the matter which is: “Why not me?” “This is happening and I will deal with it.” “Fairness is a fictional story created by the mind, an illusion, and I will not give credibility to an illusion or let it bring me down.”
A Buddhist monk once told me in the Himalayan mountains of India, “Life usually fires the first arrow at us, but we tend to fire a second arrow at ourselves. The trick is to turn that second arrow into an acupuncture needle of healing.”
Here again, he is speaking to the fact that it is usually our own reaction that creates the most suffering because all suffering takes place in our mind. If we look closely at that first arrow (a cancer diagnosis) with plenty of time and wisdom, we can find a way to turn it into something positive. Whether it’s just for a few minutes or a few seconds, meditation can help us in both processing and coping with cancer.
8. Accept, Release, Forgive, Trust
There are a few things that many cancer survivors have in common. They let go of their worries, they accept their condition, they forgive themselves and others, and they trust that everything will work out.
It is so important for anyone’s mental well-being to have hope and stay optimistic. This can be extremely difficult when receiving bad news from the doctor, but hope doesn’t have to be tied to any one particular outcome. Again, meditation can help in coping with cancer by providing the space and time to be able to see situations differently.
Trust and hope can be in God or the universe that everything will sort itself out as it always does, that your relatives and friends will be ok, and that these natural life processes are nothing to fear or worry about.
Don’t be afraid to sit with your fears. This is how we face and overcome them, by becoming mindful of them. The closer we look, the more we realize they don’t serve us and that there is no reality to them. They are simply mind-made, egoic, temporary thought forms.
No Matter What, You Will Be Stronger, Braver and Tougher Than You Ever ImaginedBy accepting the present moment reality, by releasing our expectations and worries, by letting go of grudges and being gentle and kind with ourselves, and by trusting that whatever happens, even the worst possible outcome, that that will be ok too.
I truly believe that the universe does not send us more than we are able to handle. Life may seem very dark at times, but never so dark that it completely breaks us. Sometimes it may send us challenges so that we can become stronger and more able to show the way for others.
When things are hard, someone usually appears to help us through. When things are going great, we can be there for someone else who is going through a tough time. This is how the circle of life keeps spinning.
None of us will make it out of here alive. But those who have gone through the most will be the strongest and bravest among us. Take pride in your struggle, for it has made you the beautiful, incredible soul that you are.
A great meditation for anyone struggling with maintaining positivity and optimism through difficult times can be found here at Guided Loving Kindness Meditation | A Compassionate Buddhism Teaching
Peace and love to everyone far and wide.
Get Peace & Calm DeliveredReceive the tools and insights for living a life free from fear, negativity and stress.
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January 30, 2023
How to Cope With Someone Ghosting You
We’ve all been there. Someone texts you, you text back, and then, silence. Sometimes it takes a few hours, sometimes days, and sometimes never.
Or, when dating, you might really like someone and you think, “This can really go somewhere,” but then they disappear. Sometimes you just keep waiting for that text which never arrives. You may cycle through every emotion: anger, confusion, sadness… You keep analyzing what you did wrong and what you could have done to avoid it. Your ego gets hurt and your self-esteem plummets. You start to question yourself, “Was I funny enough? Was I pretty enough?” So, what’s a better way to cope with the infamous ghoster?
The answer to that question is to not change how we cope, but rather to change how we go about our social lives in the first place. If we approach our social lives in the right way, there would be no need for coping at all. If we seek out companionship thinking it will make us happy, we are making our happiness dependent on temporary circumstances that are bound to change. If we tap into our inner peace, love and joy, the whole world and all of its pleasures simply become the icing on the cake — you can take it or leave it.
The sage knows that some people will ghost, others will flake, and others will lash out and reenact old trauma. This is the way of the world — everyone is going through their own journey. The most we can do is discover ourselves, then we can share our joys and sorrows with other folks who are in a similar place on their own journey. We can welcome all newcomers, say goodbye peacefully to those whose paths diverge, and we can embrace and appreciate every step of the way.
Break That Cycle of Overthinking Before It Creates Any Suffering
Our minds are thinking machines, constantly jumping from thought to thought, constantly looking for something to overthink and obsess about. That’s what they do, it’s their job. A hand will do hand stuff and the mind will do thinking stuff.
But what happens when our minds get out of control? What happens when they no longer think the positive thoughts we wish they would? What happens when they only dwell on negative things, like what could go wrong in the future and what has gone wrong in the past?
When that happens, these are the 4 things you can do:
Start by practicing mindfulness in every activity you doBecome conscious and aware of your thoughts (More on this in my podcast where I talk about what it means to observe our thoughts.)Learn to focus your mind on what you want to focus onChange unconscious negative thoughts into intentional positive thoughts.Here’s a meditation that I use to stop my mind from fixating on negative things.
May you recognize your wholeness and perfection. May you honor this moment by being here fully for it. May you commit to this one eternal and infinite moment. May you allow yourself to lay your baggage down from yesterday and not to pick up tomorrow’s until tomorrow.
Don’t Get Stuck in a Downward Spiral of Overthinking Get Peace & Calm DeliveredReceive the tools and insights for living a life free from fear, negativity and stress.
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January 25, 2023
Path to Peace Why Do I Keep Failing Over and Over Again?
If there are no mistakes in life because they are just opportunities to learn, what about when we keep making the same mistakes over and over again? Why can't things just go well for a while? Where is the lesson?!
In today's podcast, I explore how even if we feel we are making no progress, we are actually improving in subtle ways constantly. I share how buried in what seems like failure can be the seeds of success. And I share how to go forth into the unknown – with its many challenges and obstacles – with optimism and courage.
Success and failure are just subjective opinions. Marching on with your head held high is the only way to approach both.
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Please enjoy other episodes where Todd shares meditation techniques, tips and spiritual lessons from around the world for peaceful and stress-free living. Remember to subscribe to stay up-to-date.
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One small positive message can uplift our day. Get your dose of positivity at https://www.youtube.com/toddperelmuter
Like what I’m doing? Support the show at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/toddperel.
I answer spiritual questions from people on my weekly Path to Peace newsletter. Join the community of like-minded beautiful souls right at https://www.eastwesticism.org
You can find my books on Amazon, Audible, BarnesandNoble.com, and anywhere else you get your books.
The post Path to Peace Why Do I Keep Failing Over and Over Again? appeared first on EastWesticism.
January 18, 2023
Path to Peace Why Do I Feel Disconnected From Everything?
It's easy to get caught up in our life's story. We often lose touch with our surroundings when we get bogged down by heavy emotions and a storm of thoughts that completely dominate our attention. Sometimes, when we live mostly in our head, we feel incredibly disconnected and isolated from everyone and everything.
So why do we feel this way? What causes this disconnect? Why does it happen and what can we do to experience deeper connection. In today's episode, I explore these questions, and most importantly, what we can all do to experience the oneness of the universe and how we can feel connection and community instead of isolation and separateness.
Please enjoy other episodes where Todd shares meditation techniques, tips and spiritual lessons from around the world for peaceful and stress-free living. Remember to subscribe to stay up-to-date.
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One small positive message can uplift our day. Get your dose of positivity at https://www.youtube.com/toddperelmuter
Like what I’m doing? Support the show at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/toddperel.
I answer spiritual questions from people on my weekly Path to Peace newsletter. Join the community of like-minded beautiful souls right at https://www.eastwesticism.org
You can find my books on Amazon, Audible, BarnesandNoble.com, and anywhere else you get your books.
The post Path to Peace Why Do I Feel Disconnected From Everything? appeared first on EastWesticism.
January 11, 2023
How do I Stop Thinking About Thinking?
It’s impossible to think about not thinking. All we can do is become fully present, which takes practice. When we are thinking, we are not present, but rather we are in our head. So we simply have to practice being fully aware with non judgemental curiosity about our surroundings and even our bodies.
There is so much around us and within us at all times that we tune out. We have to tune back in order to find peace and freedom from our own mind. Thoughts will still pop up, but if we are aware of them too, even then there will be peace.
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Why Doesn’t my Mantra Seem to Work?
Meditation is a very simple but powerful practice, and we don’t need to add pressure or expectations to it. It does take time, but that’s why it teaches us patience. From patience comes peace, from peace comes bliss. Keep it up and you will surely find it.
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Can we Meditate While Focusing on Nothing?
The thing is, being unfocused is just our normal state of mind. We typically go about our days just responding to whatever we perceive and whatever thought pops into our head. We are a slave to our impulses.
Learning to focus, by practicing focus, is taking control of our mind. It’s using your intentions to guide your attention, not reacting unconsciously to every shiny thing that steals your focus.
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I Can’t Sit Still and Meditate. What to do?
A lot of people come and tell me they are having a hard time sitting still and meditating. However, meditation doesn’t have to mean sitting still. The context of meditating isn’t about being still. It is about being present. It is not about having no thoughts. It is about being free from your thoughts.
Meditation helps you shift to a state of awareness and being. This doesn’t always have to be sitting still. One of the most amazing ways to meditate is through walking.
Walking meditation not only helps us reach this meditative state. It also helps us bring that meditative state into everything else we do. You can find more tips on how to do that on my YouTube channel.
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